American Family Radio takes your Bible questions live on American Family Radio

>> Bert Harper: The Bible. It's the word of God. Sharper than any two edged sword. This sacred book is living and active and contains all that's needed for life and godliness. Stay with American Family Radio for the next hour as we study God's word and take your Bible questions.

Alex McFarland and Bert Harper talk about some beautiful words spoken

Welcome to Exploring the word.

>> Alex McFarland: In Proverbs 25:11, the word of God says a word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings, like a piece of art, something really beautiful. And so we welcome you to Exploring the Word. And we're going to talk about some beautiful words spoken, gently and in a timely way. Some words that have really shaped our lives. This is Alex McFarland along with Bert Harper, and you're listening to the American Family Radio Network. This is Exploring the Word. And, the show today is a little bit topical and I guess I'll give a quote or two to set it up. Ralph Waldo Emerson, the famous writer and poet and thinker of years past, he said that, many times people's chief need is someone who might inspire us to be what we know we could be. And now, Bert, I'm the product of a lot of dear people that have invested in Angie and me. And I remember at different points in my life, sometimes somebody would say things, a word of encouragement, sometimes a, a needed little word of correction. But I don't know, I was thinking about how different things people have said have stuck with me and even really shaped me. So in the Spirit of Proverbs 25:11, what I wanted to do, Bert, was go over some words of wisdom by brothers and sisters that really kind of, were like a compass in our soul to guide us.

>> Bert Harper: Alex, when you first, shared this with me and your thoughts, my mind went quickly to two or three, and then four, five, and then more. not only do I remember sometimes when they were said, but what the circumstances were. In other words, the circumstances that you find yourself in may make you a little bit attuned to what people are saying. And if we're so consumed with ourselves, sometimes I'm afraid we might miss word that is fitly spoken. So we need to be in a frame of receiving those words. And as you said, sometimes the words of correction and encouragement. And so I'm anxious to do this today. this is a prerecorded program. Alex and I will be ministering somewhere or with family. That's usually the only two reasons that he and I are missing, one or the other.

>> Alex McFarland: The pulpit and the hearth.

>> Bert Harper: That's it.

>> Alex McFarland: Ministry and family.

>> Bert Harper: And, so we're going to do this. And so I appreciate you, coming up with this idea because Proverbs 25:11 is true. A, word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings. these phrases are framed in our minds, aren't they?

>> Alex McFarland: Well, they are. And you know, on the Internet there are a lot of TED Talks where people give speeches and they've tried to capture a lot of, notable people before they pass. You know, Billy Graham did a TED Talk. And I think, because I talk with them. in fact, right now I'm talking with some public school administrators who want to talk to me about mentoring young people and getting wise, mentors, because I think people are beginning to recognize that character and wisdom and experience are valuable things to pass along. it reminds me of a quote by Tolkien, J.R.R. tolkien, who wrote Lord of the Rings. And, my friend Douglas Gresham Lewis, the son of C.S. lewis, lived with Tolkien after Lewis died. And Gresham has told me many, things that Tolkien taught him. But Tolkien said, the most important decision you'll ever make is to decide what to do with the time you've been given. And so in the spirit of that, here's some things that maybe, they'll inspire you. I know they inspired us, but Bert, it was the fall of 1985. I'd been a Christian maybe a month or so. I'm at church one Sunday night, Macedonia Baptist, a dear old man of God, a giant. And Buford, Smith is his name. And he looked at me and he asked me the question. He said, will anybody be in heaven because of you? And I didn't know quite what to say. And he looked at me with these piercing eyes and, kind of forceful, kind of, gentle, with a slight smile. But he looked at me, said, young man, do something with your life so that somebody will be in heaven because of you.

>> Alex McFarland: Now, bert, that's been 30 years ago, plus. But I'm going to tell you, that challenge by Buford Smith moves me to this day.

>> Bert Harper: Amen. M. Isn't that great that here's a man that had the courage, the strength and the wherewithal to say something like that. And here you are, an evangelist, an apologist on the radio, sharing Christ with many, many, many people. And that, man had something to do with it because of what he said to you.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, it was a motivation. I mean, it really was. I mean, I think the point of Buford Smith, Buford and his dear wife Shirley. And they're both quite, quite elderly now. and I'm sure they probably wouldn't remember this, but they challenged me to make serving Jesus a priority. And, you know, it was interesting. When Angie and I first got married, we would go by their house and hang out. And, you know, I didn't know it. I probably couldn't have articulated it back then, Burt. But there was just something about this guy that I wanted to be near him. You know, he had served God. He was retired, but he had given 60 years of his life to the gospel work. And, when I think of Buford and what he said, do something with your life so that somebody would be in heaven because of you. You know, I think of Philippians 2:21, where, Paul kind of lamented, everyone looks out for their own interest and not the interest of Jesus Christ. we are. Bert, am I right? We are to prioritize our life around the callings and the interest of Jesus, not just our own. Am I right?

>> Bert Harper: You are right on. Praise the Lord for Buford Smith.

I heard a song years ago that really stuck with me

Well, the one that I have first is a little bit different. But, I heard a song years ago, and it really stuck with me. Then I heard Steve Farrar at a, Promise Keeper meeting, make this point as he had written point man. And the song is now, this is the 1950s. This was way before your time. And really, it was before my time. But I heard it later on by the Flamingos. Believe it or not, I only have eyes for you.

>> Alex McFarland: Oh, totally. I know that song.

>> Bert Harper: You know that song?

>> Alex McFarland: Okay, I do now.

>> Bert Harper: I only have eyes for you. And we were talking about earlier, you or I either usually ministering or family. That's what we're doing. And without those two things, I don't know where Burt Harper would be. And, so the scripture, you know, give me eyes only for my wife. Don't look upon the maiden, you know, in the youth. And it says, stay with the wife of your youth. All the Bible is filled with that. So that's an awesome phrase. To your wife, to your husband. I only have eyes for you. And you can discipline yourself. And I do everything I can to discipline myself. To gaze upon my wife and glance. Sometimes I don't even have to do that. But if someone comes across a woman and inappropriately dressed, I don't have to gaze. Sometimes you have to see because you're looking straight on. But you can discipline your life and discipline your mind, have only eyes for your wife. So that's. I don't think I'll ever forget that song. I only have Eyes for your.

Bert Clark: If dad runs off with a woman, kids will remember

>> Alex McFarland: Bert, let me just say a word to everyone listening, especially, you know, the men out there, in 25 plus years of youth ministry, I will tell you, if dad, runs off with a woman and leaves mom, the singular thing your kids will remember, and it will take a decade. Studies show this, and I know this from not only my own research and post, grad studies and developmental psych and interviewing hundreds of people for the books, mark it down emotionally, that will rock a child's world for a decade, but it will be the singular memory. they're not going to remember the beach. They're not going to remember the vacations and the Christmases. What the kid will remember, and they'll take this into adulthood is that dad bailed out on mom and the family. And guys, let me just say, and I'm so glad you're bringing this up, about only having eyes for your spouse. You know, remember the, wife of your youth. And guys, remember the woman that believed in you before you had earned the degree that, you know, invested in you, before you had the big job and all the success and the trophies, you know, bailing out on your family, your kids, your spouse, and worst of all, Jesus, it ain't worth it, is it?

>> Bert Harper: It is not.

>> Alex McFarland: Ah.

>> Bert Harper: You know, secular songs can have a deep message, and that one did for me.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. You know, Bert, it was the spring of 1996. We had put on a big event at the Greensboro Coliseum. We brought in coach Tom Landry of the Dallas Cowboys, and, boy, that was exciting. We had worked for over a year, and out there in the Greensboro Coliseum, where they usually play ACC basketball, were 8,000 teenagers. And, I mean, I was excited, and it was, you know, great. We knew something big was going to happen, and it did. We're backstage and a hero of mine named Bill Glass. Do you remember, from Texas, the evangelist Bill Glass?

>> Bert Harper: I did. Before he was an evangelist, he was a football player. Yes. He came to our county here in northeast Mississippi, Booneville, north of Tupelo, where we're headquartered here, and did a crusade. And I got to go hear him as well. What, a preacher? Yes.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, we're backstage and there's, Angie and me and Coach Landry, and I mean, that alone had me shaking in my boots with excitement. And Bill Glass and Bill began to pray. And we were going to go out there and, had that band Point of Grace that sang. By the way, if you ever go to the American Family Studios. there's a plaque on the wall from Point of Grace.

>> Bert Harper: That's right.

>> Alex McFarland: And Bill Glass is praying, and he said, lord, let them hear more than what we say. And I didn't quite know what that meant. And one time I was reading Isaiah 55:11, which says, God's word preached will not return void. God's word will accomplish the purpose for which God sends it. And, Bert, have you ever been, preaching and, you know, you preach the word, and then somebody will say, you know, God really spoke to my heart, and I got this or that lesson, and you think, wow, I didn't really say that.

>> Bert Harper: I've been on the receiving end of a preacher preaching, and him say something, and it's like the Holy Spirit takes that and takes me in a different direction than he was going. And so the Holy Spirit was speaking to me more than what that man was saying. I've been on the receiving end of that as well. Yes.

>> Alex McFarland: Yeah. Oh, man. I've been up in the. In the pulpit preaching, and, you know, you make your outline and you pray and you prepare. But, it's exciting when you're in the middle of a sermon and, you know, you're conscious of it. The Holy Spirit is doing the driving.

>> Bert Harper: Now, I know he leads us when we're studying. He leads us when we're preparing. But there's a little extra, I don't know if it's adrenaline, it's physical. I know it results in a physical rush or something when you know God has shown you something while you're preaching. Alex, is it a little extra for you when that happens?

>> Alex McFarland: Oh, man, what an adrenaline rush. Yeah, it is. And I'll say this, the first. Do you remember, Bert, the first person that ever walked the aisle in one of your messages?

>> Bert Harper: I do.

>> Alex McFarland: Do you?

>> Bert Harper: I do. Can you show that a bit? Yeah. Little Clark Street Mission in New Albany, Mississippi. It was a mission of First Baptist Church. I was there. And this guy is a preacher, Mike Smithy. He listens to us sometimes. And Mike, came down and responded to the invitation, was saved, had been saved. But he. He came to the mission because his family was there. And today he's preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. That's a good way to start, isn't it, brother?

>> Alex McFarland: For me, it was a little child named Bobby Barker. He got saved, of all things. I preached a message on tithing, and yet he came forward.

>> Bert Harper: That's the Holy Spirit, brother.

>> Alex McFarland: This is exploring the Word. Stay tuned. We're going to be Back with more words of wisdom and truth from scripture when Exploring the Word returns. Don't go away.

Bert and Alex share biblical wisdom on American Family Radio

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>> Alex McFarland: Up your voice and say man.

>> Bert Harper: Proverbs 25:11. A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings. This is Bert and Alex, and we're looking at some things that we've heard. words, fitly, spoken phrases that's been spoken to us directly or indirectly. And, so I hope you'll enjoy this. Alex and I are enjoying it. So there's going to be two guys that enjoy this program, Alex, and it's you.

>> Alex McFarland: And I don't know about anybody else. We're having a good time.

>> Bert Harper: Okay, this one is mine, and I think you'll enjoy it. And again, these are things I've heard and not necessarily spoken directly to me, but this one just stuck with me when I heard it. You and I both are fans of the Andy Griffith show big time. I mean, you're in North Carolina, so you're there close to Mount Airy and all that area up there. I just love it. But do you remember the program when Andy says to his son Opie, remember and be somebody?

>> Alex McFarland: Yes, act like somebody.

>> Bert Harper: Act like somebody, Alex, that really, I remember hearing it. And every time I watch that program, and I do watch reruns, and you can tell I'm a product of the 50s and the 60s, childhood, watching those television programs that were worth watching in those days. but act like somebody. Act like somebody. I couldn't help to think of first Peter 2, 9. You're a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. And then it goes down. It says, a special people. That's somebody. I mean, and it's not somebody to get us all built up with pride, but it's something that causes us to respond to the grace that's been given to us. And if those people who are listening think that God's grace is a license to sin, I want to just share with you. I doubt if you've experienced the real grace of God. The real grace of God works in our lives to holiness, to be somebody, act like somebody, to be a chosen generation. God has chosen you out. You're a royal priesthood. You can go to God on your own. You don't have to go through someone. You're a holy nation. You're to be representative of what God has said. And you are a special person in the eyes of God. So, go out there and be somebody.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, amen. Amen. And you know, the social media world that we live in and the culture of explicitness that we're in, where nothing is off limits, really mitigates against the biblical principle of being somebody and being virtuous and chaste. You don't hear that word now, chaste, but chastity and restraint speaks of self control. And I think when Andy Griffith said to Opie, act like somebody. You know, remember who you are, remember whose you are, remember where you came from. Because we really are, the way we act, the way we react, the way we speak, the way we carry ourself, the things we do. I mean, it's a walking, ah, resume for the kind of person we are.

>> Bert Harper: And Alex, I would say this. Both of these that I've used first are me just listening to a TV program, a sermon that calls me to remember a song. And so, God, these words fitly spoken. those of you who are writers, you may write literature for a denomination, you may be a person that is trying to get a book published. These words that you write and speak, can have ripple effects to generations to come. And so it's just important, be careful what you say. And you remember that little tongue, be careful what you say, little ears, be careful what you hear.

>> Alex McFarland: do you remember the poem A Little Fellow Follows Me?

>> Bert Harper: Yes. I love that poem, man. Listen, my wife needle pointed that for me because I had three little fellows following me. Alex.

>> Alex McFarland: Exactly. Let me just say something. You mentioned, the song I Only have Eyes for your, and you mentioned the Andy Griffith show. And you referenced the fact that you and I both came up in the 60s and 70s, and it was really in the early to mid-70s when our entertainment tastes changed, I believe, immeasurably for the worst. you know, the ministry here was originally called the American Federation for Decency. There was going Back to around 1909 for films, there was a thing called the Legion of Decency. Now, it was not a Christian thing necessarily, but, I Think about the great filmmaker Frank Capra. That was part of this at one time. In other words, because filmmakers understood that your art and the stories you tell do influence the lives of people. The Legion of Decency, in the early part of the 20th century, tried to be the conscience of Hollywood. And they wanted to produce things that were wholesome and uplifting and moral. And, you know, I think about films like It's a Wonderful Life or, you know, some of the great, films that we've cherished that were good and wholesome. And I think about the Ten Commandments. Cecil B. DeMille. There was a day. Now, you'd never know it, but there was a day when our art and our music and our stories actually tried to make people better rather than just be explicit.

>> Bert Harper: Amen.

>> Alex McFarland: And so when we're talking about these quotes that shape our life and some of these mileposts that are kind of in the back of our, mind and heart, you know, we're not trying to say, oh, let's, you know, go back necessarily to everything. But I am saying, Bert, that, as a culture, we've fallen down many notches.

>> Bert Harper: Well, they had an impression on me, and, big time. if those good ones had impressions on me, what evil, bad ones does it have on those that are younger today? So, listen, that's why the pulpits, the Sunday school classes, the small groups, the Christian homes, the homeschooling. Pour into them the virtue and the righteousness of Christ.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen.

>> Bert Harper: Amen.

Alex: Dr. Jerry Falwell had profound influence on my life

Alex?

>> Alex McFarland: Well, you know, I could not overstate the influence on my life of Dr. Jerry Falwell. And for those that may not know, I mean, honestly. And I'm not trying to pump up a man, but Jerry Falwell was the kind of person who comes along about once every 500 years. I mean, in many ways, he was a lot like Martin Luther, the great reformer. I personally. And, Bert, you feel free to disagree. I think probably the two most influential Christians of the 20th century. One would be, of course, Dr. Billy Graham, but very potentially, the other would be Jerry Falwell. built the, world's largest Christian university, and it's in the running to be the world's largest university, period. And, when I was at liberty, through the telephone ministry, they had a lot going on, but there were 30,000 people a year that were praying the sinner's prayer with counselors on the telephone. A lot of things, the Lord was doing. But one time, Dr. Falwell was meeting with Angie and me. And Angie was a nurse and actually worked for Jerry Falwell's doctor. But Dr. Falwell looked at us. We were just a newlywed young couple. And he looked at me and he said, alex, exchange all your little options for the one big dream. And I think he was talking about the power of being focused. For Dr. Falwell, the dream was to build Thomas, Road Baptist Church and Liberty University. You know, for me, it would be to become an evangelist and do something. Everybody, to this day, they say it won't work. And that's to mesh apologetics and evangelism. And, you know, everybody tells me that that can't be. But I'll, do God's showing them. But, you know, D.L. moody, who is another hero. But D.L. moody said, let's be like Paul. Paul said this one thing I do. And Moody said, and not these 50 things I dabble in. So, Burke, could it be somebody listening out there, there's a call on their life. God's given them desires and skills, and, you know, you're kind of spinning your wheels, but God wants to use you in a big way. And so it might be prayerfully that you would exchange all your little options for the one calling the one big dream Amen.

>> Bert Harper: And follow that. I mean, you know, there's a song that came out, and it was by the family from Arkansas that sang can't think of their last name. Dream, big, don't be afraid to dream big for what God has for you. And, God can bring it about. Just as Dr. Falwell made that impression on you during your education years. those who are listening, you know, I went to Blue Mountain College, and the professor. Yeah, and the professor that made the biggest impact on me, Dr. James Travis. He's in glory now. Just a great Bible teacher, influenced so many men and women for Christ. But I remember he had said in class, and he was not afraid to say, be who you are. And he says, God doesn't make cookie cutter Christians or preachers.

>> Alex McFarland: Let me say that again.

>> Bert Harper: God doesn't make cookie cutter Christians or preachers. By that, he means we're all different, you know, and all the preachers that came there, we were different. I mean, some were from the farm like I was. Some were from big cities, some were older. They had just. One of my best friends was Ken Cooper. And Ken, had spent 20 years in the Air Force, and he had gotten out, and now he was going to Blue Mountain College. And he was, you know, 15 to 20 years older than most of us there, but man we were. And he was uniquely himself, you know, who God had me to be. But God doesn't make cookie cutter Christians or preachers. And it has to do with that shape that I've told you about. S H A P E. Your spiritual gift, your heart or your passion, your abilities, your. Your personality and your experience that's uniquely every individual's person. That's the way we have four, gospel letters is because you have four men writing, yes, inspired by the Holy Spirit, but because of their experiences, because of their personality, and God used them. They're unique. Mark is different than Matthew, although they agree on what they say, but how different than they are. And I thought of that scripture. We're fearfully and wonderfully made, Alex. That means we're unique, in our preaching. You and I, you know, you and I have talked about it. You come from an evangelist point of view, academic, where you've been, you know, in the academia world and apologetic. I'm pastorial. I'm, counsel and do all that. And we bring those to this radio ministry that God is calling both of us too. But they're unique. But yet look how we agree concerning Jesus Christ in the scriptures. That is, God doesn't make cookie cutter preachers or cookie cutter Christians.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, you know, C.S. lewis one time observed, how boringly similar are all the sinners, but how vastly different is the tapestry of the saints. M. And I think one of the great things about heaven I've had skeptics say to me, oh, heaven will be boring. Sitting on a cloud, plucking a harp. And that's a cartoon of what I think heaven's really going to be like. But I mean, think about the incredible tapestry of people that you're going to meet in heaven. I love to read biographies. I mean, ah, as far as we know, Christian, George Washington, the Wright Brothers, godly grandmothers that prayed us into the kingdom. One of the beautiful things is that, you know that old song says, some through the fire, some through the blood, some through the flood, but all through the blood.

>> Bert Harper: Amen.

>> Alex McFarland: The incredible, diverse, rich family of God. And we have all this different, but this in common, that we came through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

>> Bert Harper: Amen. And it is unique. And let your uniqueness, God's Holy Spirit takes who you are and uses you in a unique way to reach people, to minister to people like nobody else could. So that's a great thought.

Bert says Denzel Washington says something profound in commencement speech

>> Alex McFarland: Well, let me say this Quickly, there's a video online of Denzel Washington giving a commencement speech. And it won't be hard to find because I think it's had 27 million views. And anyway, of course we don't endorse everything on YouTube or online. But anyway, Denzel Washington has given this commencement speech and he's talking about acting on your dreams and what you want to do, to the quote where Dr. Falwell said, exchange all your little options for the one big dream. But Denzel Washington says something that I think is really profound in this commencement speech. He said, look, that burning desire on your heart, that goal, that thing you want to achieve, but you kind of tell yourself you can't. He says it just might be that burning goal, that aspiration on your heart, that desire was put there from God. And God wants you to step up to the plate and invest and prioritize your life. But the fact that it's an unrelenting pull on your heart may be that it's yours to go after and grasp anyway from God.

>> Bert Harper: Amen.

>> Alex McFarland: So let me just challenge you to, to find out God's call on your life. And Bert, I believe every born again believer has an assignment, don't you?

>> Bert Harper: I agree. And you remember when the Apostle Paul responded and he got his eyesight back. Here's what God said. I'm going to show him what great things he must suffer for my name's sake. And he will testify me before kings and governors. And that was Paul's calling. He became what we call the apostle to the Gentiles. While Peter was mainly, yes, he did influence the Gentiles, but he was mainly to the Jewish nation. So God, I really do believe he has his unique calling for each person in a unique way.

>> Alex McFarland: I want to change gears a little bit and tell you something that I have heard a number of times from that incredible friend and like family to us, Josh McDowell. And he did a, ah, book and a tape in the late 70s called the Secret of Loving. And I've heard him say this. And Josh McDowell, if you've ever heard this message, you'll instantly recognize because Josh talks about love, if, or love. Because of course Josh is known as the great apologist and he is evidence that demands a verdict. He's also for 60 years built a great family with Dottie, his wife, and they've raised incredible kids. And Dottie, McDowell is an amazing champion for Christ herself. But Josh talks about unconditional loving and I've heard him say it he said, the secret of loving is to love unconditionally, like Jesus. Now, Bert, when we come back, I want to unpack this a bit. Shall we?

>> Bert Harper: We shall. And again, Jesus Christ, his love, unconditional, sacrificial. And he says, husbands love your wife the way Christ loved the church. We're going to hear more about this when we come back with more of Exploring the Word. Because of listeners like you, preborn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies. Your $28 to sponsor one ultrasound doubled a baby's chance at life. Your tax deductible gift saves lives. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate, go to preborn.com afr exploring the word on American Family Radio. Connect with Alex and Burt on the Exploring the word Facebook page. Facebook.com exploring the word. Your words give us life that's never ending. Your words bring us love that never fails. Everything.

>> Alex McFarland: A word fitly spoken in due time. It's just like apples of gold in a picture of silver. Proverbs 25:11.

Alex and Bert discuss unconditional love in their weekly podcast

Welcome back to exploring the Word, Alex and Bert. And we're talking about some words of wisdom people gave us to encourage us and set us on right paths. And before the break, Bert was. We were talking about unconditional love. And I've got to confess, as a young husband, boy, I blew it one day. I was, I'm just going to say it. I was a jerk. One day, my wife got a haircut. And she was known for this long, long, beautiful hair. And she has beautiful hair to this day. But I came in and she had gotten a haircut. She got a real short haircut. And, I lost it. I was so, I was like, you didn't tell me you were going to cut your hair. And, she said, well, you know, come on. I just, you know, we were young married. She said, I wanted to try a new hairstyle. And I sulked around and the Holy Spirit really had to take me to the woodshed. And I later heard Josh McDowell talk about, if you're loving somebody, love if, or love because I love you. If you have long hair, I love you because you haven't cut your hair. Josh nailed it. He said, that's not unconditional love. And we as husbands are called to love like Jesus, unconditionally. And, I will tell you, Bert, I honestly think that many, marriages would be improved. Certainly local church, you know, decorum would be healthier if we would love our friends and family and spouses and everybody around us with the help of the Holy Spirit. Love unconditionally. And I say this because, I was guilty and I had to repent and let God change me because I went into marriage loving conditionally. And that's not right.

>> Bert Harper: It's got to be purposeful. It does not happen. Incidentally, you choose to love. You demonstrate love. And, I admit, doctor, Gary Chapman, with his five love languages has really benefited Jan and I. We still speak, and we talk about the five love languages. And I've told people when somebody comes up with something better, I'll use that, too. But, listen, it helps to, you know, there's this issue of love, but there's also this issue. I know we don't go on feelings, but you do need to feel loved. I feel loved by God. And it helps to be feel loved by your spouse. So what you want to do, your wife and your spouse, your husband needs to be feel loved. So find out what their love language is and love them in that language. Speak to that. We're comfortable loving them the way we're comfortable with using our love language. But when it's different, Alex, it may not convey the real love that we should have for them. So unconditionally love their. Learn their love language and speak it.

>> Alex McFarland: Exactly. I mean, really. And we, need to do a show on that at some point. And you know what let's do. I'll tell you what. We'll get Dr. Chapman on, and we'll do a show on the five love language.

>> Bert Harper: Oh, man. Listen, before we started doing what we're doing here, work, I went to Dr. Chapman and I said, Dr. Chapman, I just want to tell you, Jani and I, it's changed our lives. It's helped us. we're just going to share a lot of folks about what you do when we go to someplace. He said, take it and use it, brother. And, so the five love languages. If you're having trouble loving your spouse, purchase that book, read it, find out what their love language is, and start loving them. It does two things, Alex. It shows sacrificial love. In other words, you're giving up the way I want to show love. And you start loving them in the way that your spouse needs to be loved. That's sacrificial on your part. It's a little bit uncomfortable for you, but you do that, and it demonstrates the love that we have for them, which is the love. Jesus became flesh and dwelt among us. Now he loved us from m heaven. Amen. He did but he had to become human flesh in order to do what he did for us. We should have that kind of unconditional love for our spouse.

>> Alex McFarland: Amen. Amen.

Bert McFarlane: Every preacher wants to be the next Billy Graham

You know, in the interest of time, we might not get but a couple of more in. And I really. There's one that I especially want to get that I saw on a 200-year-old pulpit. But right now, let me, throw something out there. HB London, when I was going through orientation at Focus on the Family, it was just amazing. But HB Dr. London was, James Dobson's first cousin, and they were, you know, his closest brothers. But, he spoke in just short little bursts of words. You know, he was a man of great wisdom and wit. but he looked at me and he said, play in your own sandbox. And I thought, okay. and he elaborated a little bit, and he said, you know, not only in the ministry at Focus on the Family, you know, stick to what your calling is. But he said, operate in your own areas of giftedness. He said, alex, I've watched so many people, you know, they're all over the map. But he said, know your gifting, know your calling. And, I kind of thought about, there's a movie where Clint Eastwood says, a man's got to know his limitations. But, 2 Timothy 1:6:7, Paul says, stir up the gift that is within thee. And Bert, do we sometimes expend our energy and waste our time stirring, up gifts and callings that we don't really have? And maybe we neglect the things that we are supposed to be doing?

>> Bert Harper: I agree fully. I've experienced that. You know, I think every preacher has the idea that they would love to be the next Billy Graham, evangelist, you know, and a lot of times when I first started, you know, people wanted to be gracious. Oh, you're going to be, you know, the next so and so. And if you're not careful, you'll start trying to emulate their style and how they do it. Now, I think you could learn from watching them, but play in your own sandbox. Keep your own vineyard. When, it talks about marriage, it says, you know, your vineyard, your own vineyard. You haven't kept. so keep. Stay in your own sandbox. Use your giftedness. That God has called you, your spiritual gift, your personality. Got to fit it together, won't he?

>> Alex McFarland: He will. He will. And you know what I think about Dr. Harold Wilmington, who just went to be with the Lord just, a couple months ago, one of the co founders of liberty but Dr. Wilmington said this to me and a number of preacher boys. He said, don't try to be the next Billy Graham, because the world would miss out on an Alex McFarlane. and he meant that to everybody. You know, be who you are. Because, Do you remember, Zig Ziglar, the motivational story?

>> Bert Harper: Oh, man. Yes, I do.

>> Alex McFarland: it's my privilege to hear him speak quite a few times. And he said that most people start out a unique original that God has made. God made you a unique original, but many end up a cheap copy. now, here's a name I bet you haven't heard in a while, and some will remember this individual from Indiana, Jack Hiles. Do you remember that?

>> Bert Harper: Yes, you better believe it. He. He may. He did something for me, but go ahead. Yes, I love that man.

>> Alex McFarland: Well, you know, he was in North Carolina once, and I thought, I want to go hear him. I've always heard about him. I want to be able to say, I heard Jack Hiles preach. So I went, and he was very, elderly, and in fact, I heard him preach. And shortly thereafter, he passed away. But he preached a message of all things on you can't do everything. And he was saying that he had been in the ministry all these years, and he saw people doing this, that and the other. And this goes back to the HB London thing about, you know, operate in your area of giftedness. And, you know, Jack Hiles preached this message, and it was profound. I think you can't do everything he said. You're going to have to decide, you know, all the hobbies, all the little avocations, these things that we fritter away our time. We've got this very short little life. And I remember he quoted that little poem, one life to live. Twill soon be passed. Only what's done for Christ will last. And, Bert, I gotta tell you, you know, I love everything from, you know, carpentry to, you know, history and cooking. I try to cook. Although, I need to leave that to Angie. She's way better. But I mean, Bert, speak on this as a Christian. I mean, our time. 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week. Maybe we'll live to be 50, we might live to be 100, praise God, who knows? But we can't do everything. And is it not a responsibility of every believer to be mindful and number our days and invest our strengths on the stuff that really counts?

>> Bert Harper: He really does. And Jack Hiles did that. He Built a great church with God's strength there in Gary Hammond, Indiana area. Just, I mean, he started the bus ministry that, you know, spread throughout the United states in the 60s and 70s and still has areas of ministry today. Jack Hiles was instrument in that, but I remember him saying, and this blessed me, Alex. I didn't think about this until you mentioned his name, but I, I heard him say that's when pastors sat, you know, usually, sat in a pulpit there, on a chair behind the pulpit waiting to go. And he said, I found out two things. He said, if I spend too much time, in the Word and not out there with the people, I have a word, from God, but I don't have a heart for the people. He said, if I spend too much time out there with the people and not enough time in the Word, I have a heart for the people, but not a word from God. He said, you pastors deliberately do both. And he used the illustration about the Levites and the priests, how they went to the cities of the Levites, spread out because they had to live among the people. And then they came to Jerusalem to minister and worship. And Jack Hiles, that really blessed me to hear that. And it helped me to try as a pastor to use my time wisely. Alex, in my own sandbox, I would say amen.

Bert Stroker: One of the biggest disciplines in ministry is time management

>> Alex McFarland: And you know what? I've got one more point I want to make, but I want to say this to everybody listening and especially people. If you're thinking about ministry and aspiring, you know, to serve God full time or whatever. and Bert, I bet you'll agree one of the biggest disciplines that you're going to need to cultivate as you go along is the ability of time management.

>> Bert Harper: Listen, that's. That's a secret, brother. Yes.

>> Alex McFarland: As a kid, you think about this or that is going to be the big challenge of life. I never knew it, but the big thing that you need to get good at is time management.

>> Bert Harper: Yes. And don't forget your family and that. I've heard several. And I know we're. I don't know if we're chasing rabbits or not. I think we're staying on course with.

>> Alex McFarland: What God wants, some good rabbits.

>> Bert Harper: Yeah. But, you know, I've heard pastors pencil on your schedule, put family time and that family time is as important as that deacons meeting, that family time is as important as anything else. And say, this is what I know I have this on, my schedule, and no, I can't break it. you know that time management is difficult. I know sometimes you have to rob your family with the ministry and sometimes because of family issues, you may need to rob some of that ministry time for your family. It's according to need, but it's still what you call time management.

>> Alex McFarland: Alex, you know, early, early in my Christian life, I went to hear Pat Robertson. And you know, Pat Robertson has been on TV for a long time. And I went to hear him preach. And of all things, in the course of this message, he said, everybody needs to save up and put aside a little money so your family can take a vacation. And I remember, I thought, well, that's not very spiritual. I thought he was going to save up money to give to missions or something like that, which of course we do and we should. And I heard Pat Robertson, fall of 1988, shortly before I got married. He preached a message on, why you need to always guard that family time and just go. And anyway, it was wise counsel. Now I realize that was a very wise thing. And so folks, we say that lose at anything else but win with your family.

>> Bert Harper: Dr. Adrian Rogers said something about that. Let me just add this, it's one of mine and I won't take a lot of time, but it adds to it. and I think he may have been quoting Vance Havana, I found out later, but I didn't hear him say that. He probably said it, but he says talking about pastors and people, if you don't come apart, you will come apart. That's true. And so Jesus would spend time away. He would get away from the crowds to spend time with those guys that he was camping out with for three years. And Psalm 46:10 says, Be still and know that I am God. there's that time to get away. Alex, you're right.

>> Alex McFarland: So it's the first time I ever got to preach at Buffalo Presbyterian Church. My family had been in that church for 200 years. The church itself is about 275. And I got to preach. And I was, you know, thinking, what am I going to preach? And you know, a lot of people that had watched me grow up, how am I going to do? And so for the first time ever, I got up there behind that 200 plus year old pulpit. And inscribed on this pulpit from 1754 was John 12:21, Bert. And this, I think about this every time I get up to preach. John 12:21 says, sir, we would see Jesus. And you know, I realized that's the ministry is not about, Are they going to remember the funny stories you told, or did you make them laugh, or, boy, wasn't he a polished orator and all that stuff? See, here's the thing. We don't want anybody to say, wow, what a great speaker. We want people to come away saying, wow, what a great savior. And do you know what I do, Bert? Whenever we do one of our conferences on an easel backstage, I always put this on a whiteboard as people walk out and Josh Erwin Lutzer, Lee Strobel, you name it, I want the speaker. The last thing they see on their way to the podium is that John 12:21. Sir, we would see Jesus. People need to see Jesus.

>> Bert Harper: Amen. You know, when we were preparing for this program, Rick Roberson, who's a great friend, and he, helps here so much in the creative department, and you ask him to pray for us. Remember how he prayed? He said, lord, may the people who hear this not just hear Bert and Alex, but they would hear and see Jesus. Alex. Sir. Yes, we would see Jesus. Make that a part of. Not only when I preach, but I want it to be a part of my life. Alex.

>> Alex McFarland: That's our legacy, folks. You've been listening to Exploring the Word with Bert Harper and Alex McFarland on the American Family Radio Network. And stay tuned. We're always going to be in the Word and trying to make our lives better. Conformity to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

>> Bert Harper: Try to have a word fitly spoken to someone. It may affect them the way some words has influenced Alex and myself 30 years later. That's a word fitly spoken. May God bless you. M. The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast do not necessarily reflect those.

>> Alex McFarland: Of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

The Best of Exploring the Word: Word Fitly Spoken

✍️ Episode References

American Family Radio
https://www.afa.net/ 

PreBorn
https://preborn.com/ 

Josh McDowell
https://www.josh.org/ 

Dr. Gary Chapman
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ 

Ralph Waldo Emerson
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/ralph-waldo-emerson 

J.R.R. Tolkien
https://www.tolkien.co.uk/ 

C.S. Lewis
https://www.cslewis.com/ 

Zig Ziglar
https://www.ziglar.com/ 

Dr. Adrian Rogers
https://www.lwf.org/