Ask doctor Nursemama Friday explores 52 habits for healthy families

Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends, and happy Friday. We've made it to another Friday in the summer. I'm so happy to be here with you today. And it is Ask doctor Nursemama Friday. And I am answering all things today Tech today. Now, if you've been following along, you know that Fridays is the day that we explore 52 habits for healthy families. These are real habits about the small intentional choices that shape the well being of our families. We started in January talking about spiritual disciplines. We walked through some family rhythms, we talked about communication, and we have spent, believe it or not, the last 10 weeks talking about habits related to technology. Now, I am not a math major, I do not, profess to be a math expert. But 10 out of 52 weeks is a lot. And that tells me that this is something that's important. It's important to me, it's important to you, it's important to families out there. The way that we use technology really influences a lot of the other habits that we have. So if you've missed out, go check out any Friday show. For the last 10 weeks, we've talked about technology. We have talked about the importance of reading actual physical books in a world of digital media. We talked about co viewing family media together. And I do want to give a shout out to a series that I've actually been watching with my kids. Now I recommend with any media that you view it first as parents and pray that God would give you discernment on, what is the right choice for your family. But we've actually been watching a series by a YouTuber named Ryan Trahan. We've talked about how there is media in everywhere, but there are some people who are using media for good. And he has done a series this summer to raise funds for St. Jude's Hospital, St. Jude's for cancer research and children who are experiencing cancer. So you can already see why this appeals to me as a pediatric nurse. But he has been on a journey this summer with his wife to do, to go to visit 50 states in 50 days and they go and stay overnight and they have little adventures along the way. They're raising money for St. Jude's that's just been something that my family and I have and my kids and I have enjoyed watching together this summer. But the main take, takeaway from that is that it's Important to watch media with your kids, watch out for separate parallel streaming and allowing your kids to have unlimited access to things that they can stream. So that's what we talked about then. We also talked about being in pictures and how we can use the technology of digital pictures to really strengthen our family legacy. We talked about unplugging, on vacation, we talked about having tech free zones, tech free times, tracking your tech, having transparency in your tech, and tidying up your tech. Last week I heard from a lot of you about the issue of authority and how digital, proficiency in kids is really shifting that authority dynamic and how we can take it back and how we can take our God given authority as parents to build relationships that will withstand any tech threat that comes our way. So today we're going to finish our series in tech and habits that are related to technology use. And we'll transition over the next few weeks to talk about safety. But now that word might bring to mind things like locking the doors at night, teaching your kids to look both ways before they cross the street. And those things absolutely matter. And as we go on, we'll be talking about water safety, sun safety, some other elements of physical safety.

This week we talk about how to protect our kids from modern technology

But as followers of Jesus, we are called to think about safety on a deeper level. This is not just something that we enforce with rules and routines, but simply something that flows out of our relationship with God. And the Bible is full of language that connects God's character to our safety. To care about our safety, he is called a refuge, a fortress, a strong tower, a shield. In Psalm 46, it says, God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble. Therefore we will not fear. And then it goes on to give a lot of situations of calamity. Though the earth give way, though the mountains tremble, though the mountains fall into the sea, we will not fear. And so often when we think about tech these days with our kids, our hearts are gripped by fear and we are constantly bombarded by new threats that we think, I didn't even know this existed. And we find ourselves blindsided by ways that technology threatens our kids. But let me remind you of this from the very beginning, therefore we will not fear. God is a very present help in trouble. That means help right now in the 21st century, even facing all of these technological advances and threats that we see for our kids. And we will not fear. Not because there is no danger, but because God is near and that nearness is our source of peace. Now, the biblical idea of safety doesn't mean that there is absence of threat. There is absence of hardship, there is absence of danger. It m means we have the presence of God even in the presence of those other threats. It's the confidence that even when our life is uncertain, we are held by someone who is unshakable. And it's knowing that our ultimate security doesn't come from controlling every variable in our kids life, every element of their environment, every element of the technology that we use. We try to gatekeep everything and think, I'm going to keep all of these threats away. We find our security in the one who sees it all, who knows it all, and loves our children even more than we do. And when we parent from that place of security, anchored and trust, informed by faith rather than driven by fear, we are able to model to our families what is the safety that we're longing for. Safety that's bigger than helmets and seat belts and filters and GPS tracking and all of those things. We have to show our kids today what it means to be safe in the love of God. Even when the world feels anything but safe, it feels extremely unsafe. And that's the lens that I'm using to bring us into this series and to answer the questions that I get about technology use. And this week we're starting with those modern safety concerns that are, seem like they're coming to us at an avalanche. And we've talked this summer, as I said, about screen time and social media and digital boundaries and all of those things. But today let's talk specifically about how we guard our homes from the very real risks that come to us through our devices. How do we guide our kids in a way that teaches them to be wise, not just follow rules, not just be legalistic? How do we stay connected to God and to each other in a world that is always online? How do we nurture those, those in person relationships while our digital connections seem to overwhelm us. So I encourage you to listen to the whole whole series on, any Friday show on tech. And today we'll talk about some of those really important safety, features. Safety settings. It's not about restriction. This is actually about discipleship. You wouldn't think that I would say that and talking about safety, but it's, we have to trust God. We have to learn how to live wisely in the world that we are living in. So whether you are feeling completely confident, you're like, I've got this, I'm on it. Or you're completely overwhelmed and you're thinking, I am so lost. Listen, take a breath you are not alone. We're going to walk through this together and see what God might have for our families as we pursue safety not just in practice, but safety from a faith based perspective. That is so important. Let me give you a word from Psalm 18:2. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. My God is my rock in whom I take refuge. So anytime you're feeling overwhelmed, it's and you're feeling guilty about boundaries that you set or maybe boundaries that you feel like you should have set, or maybe ways that you fell short of perfection and that safety boundary wasn't there.

Technology has changed how we interact with the world

Listen, we're going to talk today about growing in wisdom and intentionality as families. This is important because the world has changed and so often we have so much nostalgia for a world gone by. We want our kids to grow up in Mayberry, if I'm being really honest. We want to think about all of those ways in our childh where we felt safe. I'm a Gen X kid. I was the go outside without a cell phone, without life. 360. Come back when the street lights are on. If you get thirsty, drink from a neighbor's hose. And I have lived to tell the tale. Now I'm afraid for my kids to go out in the front yard because we think about all of these threats that are there. What has changed in the world? Well, what has changed is technology. That has vastly changed how we interact with the world. Where our world used to be very small, we would only see people in our community. Now the world is as big as the world is because our kids can connect to anyone, anywhere in the world through technology. And that brings an avalanche of new threats. And I'll talk about some of those specifically. But it really changes the way that the threats are. The safety is in school, the safety in their social life, safety in entertainment, safe safety even in the way that they practice their faith and go to church. Even very young children are using screens every day. And technology brings in threats as soon as you start using it. And that is really, really concerning to me. We also see some hidden dangers, some real risks. We see exposure to harmful content, online predators, digital addiction. We see emotional fallout, spiritual drift. I'll dive into those in deep in here. Just a. But I want to really remind you it's not just about blocking content. This is about forming hearts, forming healthy hearts, forming wise minds, forming spiritual disciplines that will anchor them to be able to be wise and to help them to be safe. Now when we talk about safety, let's look at A holistic way. Because there are a lot of ways that technology can threaten us. Let's talk first about physical safety because technology actually is impacting our physical health and it presents some threats there. Let's talk about the ways that it's threatening your eyes. Like literally when you have blue light burning into your eyes. We're talking about threats to eye health. We're talking about threats to sleep hygiene because we have our phones right by our bed and our sleep is more disrupted than it was before. We're talking about threats to our posture because we are hunched over a phone all day, every day. We're talking about threats to our physical movement because we are just sitting and consuming media. And I am seeing this in kids. We see rise in struggles with weight problems and blood pressure and things that usually kids don't space until later. But it's because they're gaming all day, they're consuming media all day, they're not outside and playing as much. And that is something that is there. We're talking about threats to physical safety. Trying to get that perfect selfie and getting hurt or putting yourself in a dangerous situation, whether that's danger from a fall, going somewhere you shouldn't go. I remember the first time that Pokemon Go really kind of took over the world and I had no idea what it was. I went to our local park and I thought it was a zombie apocalypse. I thought, you know what has happened? That everyone is walking around with their eyes glued to their phone. Well, they weren't looking where they were going. They were chasing a Pokemon and going into people's backyards that they didn't know that that's not safe. So there are all kinds of physical risks there also for kids. We're talking about things like distracted driving when kids are driving and using a cell phone. And we see the devastation that can come from the mistakes of that There are that we also have emotional and mental health safety threats because we see kids who have live in a culture of comparison. They live in a culture where they don't tolerate any boredom, any silence, they don't have any creativity off screen. They are just trying to foster, digital relationships and then struggle with how do we have in person relationships. They we know that kids who use more social media are more likely to feel more anxious and depressed. We can also see this bleed over into relational safety where kids don't know how to have a face to face connection. They don't know how to have eye contact, how to have conversation, they don't know how to play together when they're not online, especially siblings looking at that or how do we involve our extended family in modeling those digital boundaries that we have? And then we have spiritual safety. Because one of the biggest threats to safety and technology is kids who are image crafting to find their identity and who the world tells them they are, who they should be rather than finding their identity in Christ and knowing knowing who they are. We have spiritual distraction because those devices take time away from our spiritual disciplines. It challenges our discernment to say what should we watch or what should we not? We see that not everything online is true or kind or helpful. So when we come back, I know this can be overwhelming. I'm going to give you some age by age guidelines for safety online for safety safety with your tech. And I will talk specifically about some threats that are facing our families today through the use of technology. Don't go away. I'll be right back.

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>> Sound Of Heaven by Tasha Layton featuring Chris McClarney: Have your way Would you move in power? Turn every heart to you. We are. Desperate for what only you can do Come have your way Come have your way Come have your way Come have your way Bring the sound of heaven Let your mighty wind come round Rushing through Lord, our hearts are open. With. The saints and angels sing to you Come have your way Come have your way Come have your way Come have your way.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is the sound of Heaven by Tasha Layton featuring Chris McClarney. And that is the cry I think, of, many parents come, Lord Jesus, because there are so many things that are overwhelming and facing our families today that we just think, okay, I don't even know what to do.

Make sure your family is safe when using technology on Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday

And today on Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday, we are talking about this week's healthy habit, and that is making sure that your family is safe when using technology. This is probably something that I get the most questions about because we want to keep our families safe, but we don't know how to be honest in this generation when our kids know more about technology than we do. I talked about that last week. And this new landscape of risk, of safety threats, we're seeing those shift from a physical risk of safety to digital and psychological risks that simply didn't exist a generation ago. Some of the factors that really concerned me about this are, we have accelerated timelines. So if you were growing up and you were going to do something unwise or unsafe, that was likely going to require you to go somewhere to be with somebody, and probably somebody's mama's, cousins, aunts, brothers, you know, college roommate is going to see you and call your mom and say, hey, did you see? I heard that so and so was headed this way. And there is opportunity to intercept. Because kids have poor decision making, their frontal cortex and their brain doesn't fully develop until their mid-20s. That's what controls executive function, which is wise decision making. They are driven by development in the part of their brain called their amygdala. And that is fear, that's emotion, that is impulse. So we see this accelerated timeline because now we can just engage in risk automatically. With the click of a thumb, you can enter into a chat room, you can send a message, you can send a photo. You can just engage in risk at the click of a button. So we have accelerated timelines. We have amplified platforms. Whereas before, if you make a mistake, it's up to your community to make that right and you can get over that. Now we have videos that can go viral and many of you I'm sure saw the ultra viral video. I think I've seen a lot of viral videos. But the viral video of the CEO know at the Coldplay concert that happens that is just everywhere on the Internet. Well this is the kind of amplified platform for risk and it hurts people. There are innocent people who are hurt with those kinds of risk taking behaviors and it's easier to experiment because it feels safer. Whereas when we were growing up, if we were going to do something risky, we were not usually going to do that in our home. Now kids are in their bedroom and what feels like should be their safest space. And so it gives them this false sense of safety when they're really engaging in risk online. And then we have conflicting cultural messages and saying hey, this is okay when this is really really not okay.

You should avoid any screen use under the age of two

So before I get you too panicked, let me walk you through some really practical age by age guidelines and family applications before I tell you about five specific threats that I want to talk about. Threats to safety online. So let's talk about even infants to preschool. How can we start early in making sure that they're safe and technology use as safe as we can make them? Well, you should avoid any screen use under the age of two. They really need that caregiver interaction as much as possible. And I know we tell ourselves, but it's educational programming and those kinds of things but really try the best that you can to limit screen time before the age of two to none. And then after the age of two if they are having screen time, that it's face to face interaction and that you are monitoring it constantly, that is really important. And kids notice device distraction really early. So don't teach them early on to soothe any uncomfortable emotion with digital technology because that's going to increase their use. And whenever they have more digital online consumption there is going to be an increased risk for harmful content. And I'll talk about that more. But really that's just all, that's all that we need to do in those early stages. Stages limited as much as we can have face to face interaction as much as we can. And when they're consuming media, be right there watching what's coming through. When we get to the elementary school age, begin clear conversations, start telling them these are the limits on your technology use. Why do you think we have those? I want to make sure you understand, talk about it over and over and over again, introduce some basic technology responsibility and Internet safety. Enough is Enough is a great organization that has a lot of great parent resources specifically on Internet safety. So if you're wanting to learn more about that, you have elementary kids who are starting to use the Internet. I recommend that you try, that you check out enough is enough. But again that co viewing is so, so, so important. Do not let them stream content unsupervised. They will see messages, they will see content that they maybe don't understand. And if left to their own to try to figure out what is right and wrong, we just know that kids are not well equipped to navigate those things. So foster curiosity and help them engage in an offline world. That's really important. Provide a compelling alternative and that can be any kind of family connection. Just create that in your family culture. When you get to tweens and teens, allow some input for their technology boundaries, but set some non negotiables. These are the things that are non negotiable, whether that's social media access, whether that's the tech free zones, the tech free times, things that we've talked about before. Allow them some input but set those non negotiables. Don't be afraid to be that parent. And if you have rules and your teen is really resisting those, don't focus on the rules so much as you really invest in the relationship. Investing in that relationship will help them to understand and respect those rules. Talk regularly about values, about the way that media influences their values, about identity, about digital pressure and encourage them to have some healthy boundaries. I am seeing this by the way. I was with a group of college girls over, over the summer and they were talking about something that had happened in one of their social circles and one of them said, well if you want to know about that or see it, you would have to get back on social media. And this girl immediately said oh yeah, no, I'm not going to do that. And she talked, talked openly about how she recognized her screen time was way out of control and that it she really didn't like the way that the comparison made herself feel. And so she had given herself a fast from social media. And not only that, she had put some sort of technology boundary so that her friends would know if she downloaded this app and they could hold her accountable. That's incredible. That's absolutely wonderful to see and something encouraging that I see about this generation. But we need to teach them discernment. It's not, not about am I allowed to watch this, am I allowed to download this, am I allowed to whatever, engage in whatever digital consumption? But is this good for me? Think, is it praiseworthy? Is it, you know, all of those things that we, that we think about is something good. Teach them discernment rather than following the rules to follow the values that God has set for young adults. We it's really hard to acknowledge our kids attack dependence and we have to acknowledge our own and say yes, we are all struggling in this together, but it's important just to set the household norms. So if I expect this of you, you can expect this of me. And talking openly about those tech use and struggles, that's really important. And just scheduling regular family check ins is really important. So those are some ways that you can talk through ages about some safety online.

I wanted to review some of the major safety threats that are online

But let me really tell you now about five major threats, threats to safety and give you an age by age approach. Listen, I could talk about this for days and days and days. I was actually just at a national conference where I was speaking my time, my talk was called Risky Business and talking about the safety threats that are online. And so often I have people who come up to me not even as care providers, but as, as family, as mothers, as fathers, and they're struggling with this. I see this and I feel this. And so I wanted to review some of those major safety threats. The first one that is probably every parent's worst fear is the exposure to inappropriate or harmful content. This is the number one threat that will come to your kids and the number one threat they're most likely to encounter. We're talking about things like pornography and violence and bad language and disturbing images and misinformation and a changing worldview because the Internet is set up for passive consumption. When they're watching video reels, it just, they don't choose what they're watching, the Internet chooses for them. And that should strike fear in the heart of every person. Recognizing that your worldview can be manipulated without you even realizing it. That is really important.

Science is emerging that shows how pornography affects our brain use

So I want to talk about something that is a little bit sensitive. You may want to adjust your listening audience here. If you have little ears around, I'll just give you a little minute to do that. But this is really important information for families to know and I am really watching closely all of the science that is emerging that talks about how pornography impacts our brain use. This is important for parents because the safety threat is that it's most often presented in the first way in something unintentional, through a spam email, through, embedded in a video through, sent to us, sent to your child from someone else. That's not intentional, but that curiosity happens, engagement happens, and then it starts Impacting your brain. And you're trying to fight against your brain. And some of the science, even a, study I was looking at that just came out this month talks about and re emphasizes the fact that this explicit content affects your brain like drugs do. It lights up your brain and rewires your brain's reward system. It creates a preferred pleasure pathway, just like drug addiction does. And just like drug addiction, it becomes harder to feel satisfied over time. And this leads to that compulsive behavior. I just feel like I can't stop. And you crave more extreme content. Not more content, but different kind of content. So we need to explain to our kids that our brains are trainable. What we feed, feed what we feed our brains. The content that we feed, it shapes how we feel and shapes what we want more of. The other thing it does is impacts our emotions and our mental health when we are engaging in content that is not glorifying to God. It can numb our emotions, it can make us anxious, it can make us angry, it can even make us depressed. And those emotional reactions look similar to people, people who are using drugs. This is really unbelievable when you look at the science. It's initially feels good for just a minute, but then you have an emotional crash and you're irritable and you're angry and you're depressed. So the thing we need to do is keep communication open. The kids may not connect that emotional distress to their screen habits, but we can name it and claim it and know that it's there. When we watch, explicit content, it also lowers our focus and judgment. This research, research study that I was looking at that just came out showed that heavy users or heavy consumers, they performed worse on attention and decision making tests. And it suggested that even a short exposure can impair your ability to think clearly and impair your ability to have self control. So we need to tell our kids that our digital choices affect our focus, affect our schoolwork, affect our spiritual life, and that path to addiction is real. And so while experts continue to debate whether or not it counts as a true addiction, it clearly leads to harmful patterns of behavior. But the good news for your kids is that their brains are flexible and they can heal and they can change. And so we've got to normalize conversation about what our kids are seeing on technology. I've said this before so many times, but I will continue to say it so many times because exposure is happening earlier and earlier. So the way that I approach this with my kids is telling them, look, you live in a world that is saturated by screens. Sometime in some way from someone, you're going to see something that makes you feel uncomfortable. You're going to see something that you feel like that violates your boundaries, violates your values, that maybe you don't even understand what you see, but you just feel like maybe you did something wrong and you don't even understand what. Why when that happens, come to me right away because I know that that can happen and I will help you. Now, I didn't go into the nitty gritty detail. I didn't give them anything graphic. I didn't expose them to anything that they hadn't been exposed to yet. But I equipped them to be able to handle that safety threat. And that is important to do because when we look at some of the other statistics, it can be really scary. The average age of first exposure to pornography is about 11 years old. With some studies saying even as young as 8. 56% of teens have looked online, most of them unintentionally the first time, like I told you. But we see this happening more and more. So for little kids, again, keep screens minimal as much as you can. Don't focus on being the phone police, but just focus on co viewing and providing in person alternatives. Don't give them any unsupervised YouTube or autoplay because they we can have videos that look innocent, that have explicit content embedded in them. And it's important for us as parents to guard our own content because little eyes are watching the screens that we have going on in the family areas. And so we should focus on slow content, sensory rich content, real world content. And for those elementary kids, use curated kids, safe platforms but still with supervision. Co watch them and review Philippians 4, 8. What is pure, what is noble, what is praiseworthy. And for older kids, talk about these messages that can happen. Set clear filters for accountability and teach them discernment. Well, that is one of five threats. When we come back, I'll talk about the other threats and how we can counteract them. We'll talk about privacy and predators and personal data, about cyberbullying and digital addiction and more. Don't go away. We'll be right back. Keeping your family safe when they're using tech when we come back on this Ask Doctor, Nurse, Mama Friday. Here'S Dr. Michael Krueger from the American Family Studios documentary the God who Speaks.

>> Dr. Michael Kruger: From the very start, it seems that these books had a level of authority. And a good example of this is Paul's own letters. When Paul wrote, he wrote with the authority of an apostle. An authority of an apostle is one who speaks for Jesus. And so he spoke in his writings with the highest possible authority you could speak with. He was speaking, in one sense, the words of God to people, and people received it as such. They were to obey Paul's letters. They were to follow Paul's letters as the words of Christ. They were to read Paul's letters publicly. So the idea that these books started off just as occasional, letters or historical documents, and that only slowly, gradually, over time, did they gain authority of scripture, I don't think is borne out by the historical evidence. The evidence indicates that the authors, they were writing scripture and the early church received a description from a very early time. Visit thegodwhospeaks.org.

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>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends, That is Promises by Maverick City Music. And listen, God has promised never to leave us or forsake us, even in a world that certainly feels like it is leaving our families at risk for digital safety threats. And we can overcome those not with fear, because God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And on this Friday, as my kids say, we're talking about, about staying safe online. And I've been talking about a holistic view of safety that we know that we are never going to have a perfect world where nothing will ever happen to us. But if we have a higher view of safety, know that knowing that God holds us in the palm of his hands, that's what our kids need to see, that we are confident in God to take care of us and to equip us to respond to anything that comes our way. I've been talking about five specific, specific safety threats online, and the first one is exposure to explicit content. I cannot overstate my concern about this, and the answer is really simple. Limit screen time as much as you possibly can by providing a compelling alternative. And when you view something, view it together. Do not individually stream all your own shows. Watch it together. Yes, that means that parents are going to have to watch little kid content and, and yes, that means that you going to refrain from adult content or, or things that maybe wouldn't be inappropriate but would be inappropriate for younger viewing audiences. We need to have discernment in that. And I encourage you as much as possible to engage in real life as you disengage from online life and live the life that God has given you. The second thread is privacy predators and personal data. And this is a world where we see a threat of identity theft. I mean this can happen to little kids now whose digital online identity can be stolen before they're even old enough to get a job or a driver's license. We also see online predators, we see doxing where someone's personal information, their location, their address can be shared and people can be encouraged to threaten them or mistreat them in some way. We also see a threat of over sharing in a world where everything is shared and tracked and stored. Protecting our kids personal information is more important now than ever. And I've talked about this a lot in the past. But children don't often realize how much of their lives they're broadcasting. And sometimes parents don't realize how much of their children's lives that they're broadcasting, how easily strangers can access them through games or apps or social media. And the stakes are really high because we're talking about identity theft or grooming by predators. Digital privacy is now a frontline issue for families.

FBI issues warning to parents about something called juice jacking

I wanted to make you aware of something that the FBI actually has been warning people about since 2019, but just renewed their warning this summer. And that is something called juice jacking. If you've heard about this, it's a warning actually from the Federal Communications Commission who first talked about this in 2019. Juice jacking happens when you charge your phone using a public USB or USB C port. Bad actors have figured out a way to introduce malware or monitoring software onto your devices. Can you believe this? It just feels like there's always a new threat. But malware that's installed through this dirty USB port, it can lock a device, it can export your personal data, it can steal your passwords, and criminals can use that information to access your online accounts. So one of the easiest ways to do that is avoid using free charging stations and airports, hotels or shopping centers, centers, especially for your kids devices. I would really encourage you to carry a portable charger. Use an outlet based charger that you can plug into the wall directly and carry that portable charger with you and plug that into the. Plug the portable charger into the USB port if you need to and then charge your phone. Don't use free USB cables that are given away as freebies. Or you can actually, actually buy a data blocker adapter for your charging cord. And that only allows for a power exchange and no data. And it's just a great opportunity to talk to your, to your kids about cyber security. It's developmentally normal for kids, especially teenagers, to feel like, yes, those threats exist, but that won't happen to me. And how do we have those behaviors that try to keep us safe? So talking to kids about the safety, safety about. Don't share your password with your friend. No, don't give them the password to all of your accounts. I know you're friends and you think you're going to be friends forever and you think all of this is safe. But don't share your passwords. You, you should teach your kids to use strong passwords with different passwords for each account and tell them to be careful. And we should model this by not posting sensitive open source information. This is what the intelligence community calls it on, public social media accounts that make us vulnerable to stealing your password or having a phishing attack. Now, I don't mean f I s h, I mean P h i s h. This is a significant targeted attack for, cyber criminals to steal your information. And they may say, oh, I know that you posted online that you work at this place and your boss is this person. So I'm going to text you now using that information. So just be very careful and selective. Turn off your location services on social media platforms. Don't let your friends track you everywhere. Keep that circle of friends and family small and don't share that information with people you don't know. That is really important to just some basic safety issues because we know from statistics and from research that, almost half of kids in grades four to eight. I want you to think about this for a minute. Almost half of kids in grades 4 to 8.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: 8.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Say that they have chatted and talked with strangers online. This is very normalized. And one in five children who use the Internet will be solicited by a predator that's from the Department of Justice. So there is risk when we engage. 75% of kids are willing to share their personal information online in exchange for goods or services. It just seems like a normal exchange of information information. And we know that actually between 60 and 80% of kids will keep their social media accounts public. So it's really important for us to be private with that information. So for babies, don't. For parents of babies, of infants. Avoid oversharing online. Don't share names or birthdays or school names and be mindful that you're creating a digital footprint for your kids. For our elementary kids, we need to teach them about stranger danger, but not, at ah, in person. Not only in person, but also online. Tell them don't share your location, don't share your real name online, your full name. Publicly monitor any online games or apps that they have with chat functions. They can chat through games like Roblox or other video games. They can do that. And for tweens and teens, create those rules for online communication. Who can you talk to? What is the barrier to make sure that you know this person and how do you monitor, monitor those people they honor, they interact with online? That is really important for young adults. You can talk about job applications, risk to your reputation, digital footprint. You just need to have that conversation and make sure that they know how to protect their information online. And this may be again through teaching, them to use strong passwords, not sharing them all of those things.

The third threat that we see online is cyber bullying and emotional harm

The third threat that we see online is cyber bullying and emotional harm. I've also talked about this a lot, a lot. But kids are experiencing harassment, being excluded, being compared, and feeling emotional roller coaster that comes with online engagement. Because bullying no longer ends when the school bell rings. Today's kids can be mocked, they can be excluded, they can be manipulated through text, through apps, through anonymous platforms, often without adults even knowing those experiences, they leave lasting scars on kids. Mental, mental health. They shape how they see themselves and others. So in this culture of constant connection, those relational wounds can be really a lot more unsafe even than the physical dangers. Because we know about 60% of kids have been bullied or harassed online. Those who have been online victims of cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to attempt to take their own lives. 87% of young people have witnessed cyberbullying without reporting it or saying anything. And body image dissatisfaction, especially among girls, but increasing among boys as well, has increased dramatically with social media use. So we need to be watching out for those emotional harm safety risks. Now for, for infants in preschool, we are modeling as parents that emotional tone for them. And that's really important for us to monitor the emotional tone of what's coming through through the digital media that they're consuming. For elementary kids, we name their feelings after screen time. How does watching that make you feel? If it makes you feel angry, depressed, I can't sleep, scared, that's not a good thing to consume. So we Want to watch for those signs of sadness or aggression or withdrawal or anger and use the opportunities when we're watching things happen in movies or media that we've approved, approved to talk about how we manage those emotions. What would you have done in that situation? How would you have responded? What if that happened to you? Those things are really important. Tweens and teens need space to talk about those hard things they see and experience online. And we can teach digital empathy and the fruit of the spirit. That is important. But it's just important for all of us to take a social media break to avoid comparison fatigue, fatigue and to equip our families to engage in healthy, uplifting digital spaces. I know I, when I talk to, to patients who will talk to me about the impact of social media on their mental health, I'll ask them, who do you follow online? How do they make you feel when you read them? Well, they make me feel awful because I feel like I can never live up to that ideal. I can never look like that. I can never act like that. Then why are you following them? Why would you follow people who make you feel bad about yourself? We need to disengage from that content and encourage our identity rooted in Christ. The fourth threat I see is digital addiction. Distraction. Those are important because we see dopamine hijacking. This is happening without even us consciously realizing it. We have anxiety, we can't sleep, we lose our focus. And when screens are intended to be used as torture tools, we adopt them as habits and sometimes lifelines. I have seen kids physically attack their parents when their device was taken away. That is clearly a sign of concern. And the average family is juggling multiple devices a day. It's just easy for hours to slip by unnoticed. But that too much screen time, especially without boundaries. You're talking anxiety, poor sleep, emotional problems, loneliness, but just habits to escape. And they start to reshape our brain, they disrupt our peace and they disconnect our families. That is really important to look at. And I was looking at a study, also released this month, a very large study that found that kids in the US who showed signs of becoming more addicted to screens over time, whether that's social media or phones or video games. This is really hard, hard to hear. They are more likely to struggle with mental health issues and significantly more likely to have thoughts of self harm or ending their lives. And kids with the highest levels of symptoms of screen addiction were at the greatest risk. Ah, kids who were addicted to video games had the biggest increases in anxiety and depression. While those addicted to social media were more likely to be aggressive or to engage in risk taking or rule breaking behavior. So in short, what I saw was the more addicted kids felt like they were to their screens, the worse their emotional and behavioral health got, especially when it comes to mental health and mental safety. So that's important. We need to provide a, compelling alternative and give some time for in person relationships. That last and fifth and final risk safety range risk is spiritual drift. Those constant connections, it crowds out our room for spiritual disciplines. And we don't have that sacred space in a digital world and we've got constant pings and updates and entertainment and when we don't have margin left to nurture our faith, we're going to be more at risk to be unsafe. In all of the ways that I've talked about. Only 4% of Gen Z holds a biblical worldview according to some statistics. And and more than half of teenagers say they spend more time on their phone than with their family. More than half of Christian parents say their family struggles to balance screen time with spiritual habits. And daily Bible reading among teens has declined by more than a third in the last decade. So I encourage you with your family, one of the best ways that you can keep them safe is to nurture their spiritual health, fill their environment environment with spiritual disciplines. And it's not about rules, it's about relationships. Go back and review those first habits that we did in January. I'm talking about reading your Bible, going to church, praying, listen to music that uplifts you. All of those things are so important and can be great ways that you can use technology. You cannot control everything. We can't prevent every risk, but we can be present, we can be prayerful and we can be proactive. God sees, he protects and he equips us. Safety isn't about fear. It's about stewardship. And as we steward our kids safety online, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I'll see you back here next time.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

It's Ask Dr. Nurse Mama Friday! Jessica answers questions from listeners about keeping your family safe while using technology.

Rx for Hope: Keep Your Family Safe When Using Tech