Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And today we've got Hope for the Caregiver. We have care for the caregiver. Maybe you didn't know this, but there are as many as 60 million Americans today who are serving as caregivers to family members and loved ones. And a lot of those are doing that in an unpaid position. It's your job, but you're not compensated. And most will never receive formal training. They receive on the job training for, for me as a nurse, I have trained many people to be caregivers in the home. I have parents who learn how to manage tracheostomy tubes or other ostomy tubes or other medical equipment at home that they never saw coming. And many of those caregivers can feel isolated or overwhelmed or just honestly unappreciated or unseen. Peter Rosenberger knows this world very, very well. He has lived it for 40 years. His his wife Gracie, after experiencing a car accident when she was 17 years old, has endured 98 surgeries. She's had both of her legs amputated. She's had a lifetime of chronic pain. Together they have faced more than $20 million in medical bills and the unrelenting reality of suffering. But, but God, God has made Peter's story more than one of survival. It's a testimony to the sustaining power of hardest places. He has a national radio show right here on American Family Radio called Hope for the Caregiver. And it airs on Saturdays at 7am Ah m. And Sundays at 10pm and he is giving the life giving truth of the of the gospel wisdom from God's word that God's grace is sufficient even in the valley of shadows. And he's got a new book. I've got it in my hands right here. You see on the video, it's a caregiver's companion. scriptures, hymns and 40 years of insight for life's toughest role. It's a companion book to his book, Hope for the Caregiver. Peter, I am so delighted to have you on the show today. Thank you so much for joining us.

>> Peter Rosenberger: Well, thank you, Dr. Nurse Mom. I'll call myself Dr. Caregiver Daddy.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Hey. I love it. I feel like this is already an inspiring collab. I love it.

>> Peter Rosenberger: I'm America's caregiver. And, no, I, appreciate what you're saying about training people. I just did an interview with Afraid, with AFR with it. I do an interview with AFR every week. I did it, with aarp and they wanted to talk to two caregivers who do complex medical things at home. And I have been doing this for a very long time and it is a bit nerve wracking at times. This. This summer I had an opportunity to pull out two drains out of her legs because she came home from a five month stretch in the hospital in Denver this year. It wasn't supposed to be five months, but she had 11 surgeries just this year alone. And they sent her home with three drains and a catheter and her doctor. Now, don't tell anybody what I'm about to tell you. Okay?

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: All right. It'll be just between you and me and a few million listeners. Okay, great.

>> Peter Rosenberger: Just twixt us. But her doctor out here makes house calls and at least she will for Gracie. And she's about as good a primary care doctor. We live in Montana, and she's about as good a primary care doctor as I've ever seen with Gracie. We lived in Nashville for many, many years and she had great primary care doctors. But this one right here, she's just very special. I call her Dr. Quinn, medicine woman. Oh, I love that she, she is. But she pulled out the first drain and Catherine, but she told me, she texted me on the second and third says, you could do this. Just do this, this. So I'm doing a text getting from her doctor saying, okay, pull this straight out. I didn't learn any of this in music school because I'm a pianist by training. So they teach me this. I have, I have adjusted prosthetics by, by FaceTime with her prosthetist. I have changed very complex dressings. I have, done shots and you know, just, I even, I even helped with a blood patch one time in recovery in post op with an anesthesiologist many, many years ago. And so these are things like I said, my piano professor at Belmont in Nashville is still alive. And I, he's in his 80s. And I called him up and I said, hey, you overlooked some of the things in our curriculum when you were teaching me about music theory. But you know, it's true. We've, we've had to do it and we do it without pay and without training and with a great deal of trepidation at, times.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Absolutely you know, I just recently my mother in law started to need some injections and my sister in law thought she could do it and she started to look at everything and she called me and said, you know, as soon as I uncap that needle, I'm like, I'm going to need some help. And it is overwhelming to think, you know, to see that journey of where you are. And I really want to talk a lot about that, Peter. But before we go any further, I think it's important to, to just acknowledge the obvious, that you have a great sense of humor. And I think that's so important. You talked about your collaboration with aarp, so I looked online, I saw your collaboration with Jeff Foxworthy, who, yes, the Jeff Foxworthy of you might be a redneck if. And you guys did the most hysterical video about you might be a caregiver if. And you said a bunch of things, but one of the things that just made me absolutely fall on the floor laughing, as you said, said if a hospital bed has not hampered your love life. And Jeff said, no sense in wasting a simmer private room. You know, 78 surgeries, spending nights in the hospital. It was hilarious. And I think a lot of people would look from the outside and think, oh, this is such a sad, tragic story. It's so hard. Where do you find the humor in it? How do you still have a good sense of humor?

>> Peter Rosenberger: Well, I, and by the way, I have the distinction of being the only person on American Family Radio who have brought both Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy to a show on American Family Radio. I've done this unlikely. I grew up in a large family. I have four brothers and a sister. And my sister's the worst of all of us. She's the baby. And she does, she. If she was listening this thing, she'd be texting me right now saying shut up. But no, she is, we have a very large family and we speak fluent sarcasm and you know, we tussle and joke and clown around and that's, you know, that's part of being in a large family. But the other thing is, and my mother, by the way, my father was a minister for many, many years, 60 plus years. And he passed away a year ago this month, this week actually. And he just an outstanding guy, but he's a little bit more stoic Presbyterian minister. My mother, on the other hand, came from Irish stock and she has a rapier like wit. She's, she's quick. She still, I mean she, even this morning when I was talking to her. She's still just, you know, kind of thing. And so we get that a lot from our mom. And we also know that this isn't the end of the story. M. That we have joy. and yes, it's hard. And we got plenty of tears. Plenty of tears. You don't go through all the stuff that Gracie and I've gone through without tears and anger and frustration and all those kinds of things. But for whatever reason, God just gave me this mind that sees the weirdness in things. You know, I remember her team of surgeons came in one time. This is during COVID And I'm sorry, by the way, you have Covid right now, but by the way, y' all don't have to wear mask while you listen to her. It ain't transmitted. Don't. I don't care what Dr. Fauci says. It doesn't come through the radio. I just tell you that right now. I have that on good authority. But I was in the, room with her. this has been several years ago when she had a very, very serious back surgery, about a nine hour surgery. And the neurosurgeon and his team came in. And this is at a teaching hospital. And they're all, you know, you know how teaching hospitals are. They just come in herds and they've all got their clipboards. And of course, they used to do it on paper, but yeah. And so therefore, you know, you got a crowd in the room and everybody's mashed up. It's very serious. Gracie's, you know, dealing with a lot of stuff. And her neurosurgeon looked at me and he said, now, you have any other questions? And I said, well, I have one. And he looked and I said, doc, is Tourette syndrome a byproduct of this surgery? I just want to know that up front. And even in their mask, you could tell they've all just kind of been there laughing. And it just broke everybody up enough that we said, you know what? It's okay. You know, this is painful. This is hard. There's nothing about this that's easy. But you know what? We can still live life. This is our life, Gracie. And I do not. Okay? This isn't. We're going to get through this surgery, then we'll go on and live our life. This is our life. And, we've had to learn to carve it out in a hospital room. We've had to learn this year. In the last couple of years, we've had, two Valentine's Day, both of her birthdays, I think, or at least one of her birthdays. we've had, ah, just Christmas, all kinds of things in the hospital, you know, what do you do? You can't put your life on hold. You live it, and you live it with reckless abandon sometimes knowing that he who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it. If he can save us, he can keep us m. And that's what gives us that confidence to say, okay, we don't like this part of it. We really don't, but here's how we're going to live. And I. For Christmas one year, a couple years ago, when we had to spend in the hospital, I. I brought a keyboard into the hospital room and I had the room all decorated up for when she came out of surgery. And there's lights and a little Christmas tree and went down to Walgreens and got all the cheap stuff there and. And had it there. And I played. I think we won best decorated room on that floor that year. What are you going to do? I had stockings hung up. And, you know, what are you going to do? You're going to just, you know, sit around, be morose, or you're going to have a good time and do the best you can with it. And that's what we do.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I love that. And, you know, no caregiver journey is the same. And so they can't be compared head to head. But I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. So my husband went through, a season of life where he had a really bad dental injury that resulted in needing a complete jaw reconstruction. And he had more than 20 reconstructive surgeries. And we spent a lot of anniversaries, holidays in. In the hospital, in the surg suite. And he really inspired me, Peter. He really did. Because I thought if I was going through that, he ended up getting Bell's palsy. He couldn't eat solid food. And the man loves food. He's Italian. I mean, he really loves his food. And so that was. That was kind of hard. But he always had a sense of humor. And so I remember one time when he was, you know, on the table, and they started to lift up the table and he's. It was really quiet and very serious, and everybody was, you know, feeling the pressure. And he started singing, and he does not sing. He did not go to music school at Belmont, I'll tell you that. He started singing. You Raised Me up by Josh Groban.

>> Peter Rosenberger: You raised Me up.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Exactly. This didn't sound as good as that, but everybody started laughing. And, you know, he just had such a great perspective. And so there was one picture that he took with my daughter, who was a very young teenager at the time, and he. And, you know, he. He looked terrible. He really did. Physically. He did not look like himself at all.

>> Peter Rosenberger: But.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: But my daughter printed out that picture and put it on her bulletin board and wrote the words I choose Joy on that picture. And reminding him, Reminding us that we could still choose joy in all of that.

Peter Rosenberger chose this life as a caregiver

And, Peter, I think one of the inspiring things is that you chose this life as a caregiver. Tell us what that was like, and then how. How, you know, your journey has progressed from the very beginning.

>> Peter Rosenberger: Well, I mean, you know, Gracie stalked me, and it was really uncomfortable. She. The way she threw herself at me, and I felt embarrassed, you know, but, you know, I'm a trophy husband. I know that. I, didn't say I was first place. I was more like texting you now. No, she's. It's more of a consolation trophy. No, I. We met at Belmont in Nashville, and mutual friends of ours talked about each of us, and I. They said, now, you need to understand, she's had a terrible wreck. Well, I didn't have any concept of what that meant. And, here she comes walking down the, walkway there, and she had a pretty significant limping, a limp gait there. because of her. The way they put her back together orthopedically and the reason she's had so many surgeries is, at the time, they did not amputate her legs. And they. By today's standards, they would. There'll never be another case like Gracie's, because they would not do for her. For someone else did for her. They. They tried to piece her back together. Prosthetics weren't all that great back in 1983. They are now. They're amazing. And she. She would have been up and. I mean, Gracie's learned how to snow ski as a double amputee. That's how good prosthetics are. Wow. And, And the problem she's having right now is not prosthetics. It's her back. And her back was so destroyed because of years of walking around on a poor walking gait, because of the way they replaced, rebuilt her. And that's. That's. That's in a nutshell. But anyway, so she's coming down. She had this little bit of a limp that I could tell. And, you know, All I saw was this beautiful young woman. And don't take my word for it, go Google her. I was a Google that day. We didn't even have Google back then. And I mean, just stunning. She was a beauty queen. She was Miss Fort Walton Beach High School. She's from Fort Walton Beach, Florida. She was Miss Fort Walton Beach High School when she got hurt. I mean, the woman is stunningly beautiful. I was looking at her this morning and I thought, dang, baby, you look good. You know, And I'm thinking she's had all this stuff going on with her and, and then she sang. Now, Gracie is a no kidding singer. And when I say she's a singer, she's not a lightweight. She sang at the, 20 years ago, Mrs. Bush had her sing at the Republican National Convention, Madison Square Garden. She's performed on big stages. She is. She. Go listen to her. You can stream her. She's the real deal. And I knew that I was hooked up and that was it.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I mean, well, I'm hooked on the story. We're already at our first break. It is going way too fast. Let me tell you. We got a lot more to talk about. We'll give you some more help and hope for the caregiver. And we'll talk more about his book, a caregiver's companion, scriptures, hymns and 40 years of insight for life's toughest role. Peter speaks from a place of experience and authority and as you can already see, inspiring and so much hope to give care for the caregiver. We'll see you on the other side of this break.

Preborn provides hope, love, free ultrasounds and the gospel in action

Finally, some Good news. Over 38,000 babies saved and more than 4,000 commitments to Christ through the ministry of preborn this year alone. here's Dan Steiner, president of PreBorn.

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>> The Jesus Way by Phil Wickham: And if you're helpless, I will defend you. And if you're burdened I'll share the way and if you're hopeless Then let me show you there's hope in the Jesus way I follow Jesus I follow Jesus He wore my sin now gladly he is the treasure he is the answer oh, I choose the Jesus way

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That's the Jesus Way by Phil Wickham. definitely my top 10 of about a 147 songs I have in my top 10 list. Music is such a powerful way to lift your spirits. And I know there are people out there listening today who are serving in the role of caregiver. And we have care for the caregiver today. We have hope for the caregiver today. Our culture really celebrates strength and beauty and independence. But behind the scenes, there is a silent army of caregivers who is quietly holding broken lives together. And statistics show that caregivers are at higher risk for depression or substance abuse or health decline or even premature death. This is how much stress often caregivers take on themselves. But while the world often overlooks them, God certainly does not. And today I'm talking to Peter Rosenberger. He has stood in those trenches for four decades, lifting his wife into wheelchairs, sitting beside her through nearly 100 surgeries, carrying burdens that most people could never imagine. And out of this crucible, Peter has emerged with a message that the church desperately needs to hear. Caregiving isn't just a duty, it is a discipleship. And his story is compelling us to see suffering through the lens of the gospel, where weakness becomes strength and where Christ himself promises never to leave us or forsake us. He has written a book called the Caregiver's Companion scriptures, hymns and 40 years of insights for life's toughest roles. And I, as I shared, you know, I'm Dr. Nurse Mama, my Professor Brain, My Hands on Nursing Experience, Experience my heart as a mom. He's dubbed himself Dr. Caregiver Daddy, which is just making me laugh so hard.

Peter Rosenberger says healthy caregivers make better caregivers

And, Peter, you were just in the middle of telling us a little bit more about your journey and what you have learned. And so I'm gonna let you pick it back up right where we left off.

>> Peter Rosenberger: Well, I've learned a couple of things. One of them is, and it is the overarching message of everything I did when I started doing this radio program, for example, on AFR. And I remember, Jim Stanley, AFR's Jim Stanley, said, look, this is either going to be the greatest decision I've ever made for programming, or it's going to go down in flames to have you on. And they've kept me on for eight years because, And we have here on American Family Radio there is the largest. This is the largest radio program for caregivers. I've got the longest running and the largest radio program for family caregivers. And that tells you about the need that's out there. Here's what I've learned. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. That is my overarching message. A lot of caregivers struggle because they're not happy. And I say stop. Stop trying to pursue happiness. Okay, don't do that. That's based on things that make you feel better. What's going to make you feel better as you take care of somebody with Alzheimer's? What's going to make you feel better as you take care of somebody who has mental illness or who. And I'm the only one that I know of with a national platform that talks about family members of alcoholics and addicts as caregivers because it's a chronic impairment. Whether they're in recovery or not, you're still dealing with this. And so what's going to make you happy? But you could be healthy right now. And I have found that the more I choose healthiness, the more happiness chases me. And I don't have to chase happiness. I chase healthiness. And I can do something right this moment. I could put down a soda, pick up water, I can go for a walk. I can say no to certain things that are going to be, unhealthy for me on any level, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially. But if we're trying to be happy, we're going to make knee jerk decisions and then we're going to become resentful when it doesn't happen. And this is where caregivers live. I don't give caregiving task tips because I'm not interested in that. I can't tell you how to take care of your husband as he's going through all the dental stuff he went through anymore. You tell me how to take care of Gracie other than just basic stuff that we can all Google and find in five minutes. You know, that's task. Where caregivers struggle and where I step in is the matter of the heart. Where we live in this fear, obligation and guilt, what I call the fog of caregivers. And we get so disoriented in there. Well, what happens when you drive in a fog? What do you do? They tell you to slow down and they tell you not to turn on your high beams. Well, why because it'll just glare back at you. So how does that work for us as caregivers? Slow down. Just slow down. And don't try to look too far ahead. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, not a searchlight. We're not going to know what's coming down the pike. I, listen to people talk about having a five year plan. I have no idea what that is. I can't have a five month plan. In many cases with Gracie, I can't have a five week plan. And some days I can't even have a five day plan. I just go about my business and deal with what's going to happen. I went down to Denver this year for two surgeries with her and it morphed into 11 and five months in the hospital. So I can't look way down the road. I can't put on the high beams and say, okay, when we get through this, we'll do it. We'll do this. No. So I learned to deal with today. Well, what does that sound like? Well, that sounds like scripture. Deal with today. Give us this day our daily bread. Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Doesn't mean I don't plan. Doesn't mean I don't put on a seatbelt when I get in the car. But it means I'm not striving to see. Okay, we got to get through this. We got to get through this. We got to get through this. No, I'm going to live in it. And I'm going to expect God in this to reveal himself in ways that I would never have seen otherwise. Scripture says, the Lord thy God in the midst of, the. Is mighty, not on the other side of your travails. He's waiting there, too, but he's going to walk us all the way through this. And around midnight, Paul and Silas were singing what hymns. They've been beaten. They've been stripped naked and beaten. And they were in stocks. And this is at midnight and they're singing hymns. They were living life in the midst of this. They were rejoicing. If they can do that, can we as well? And I say to you, not only can we, I say we must, we are called to. Because this is what separates us as Christians from the world. And the world marvels at this. And I'll give you a perfect example. I don't know how much time we got, Richard. And just, just, just cut me off when you, when you read, because I've had bigger people. Y' all hang up on Me? no, I'm just kidding. I have. We were in the, We were in the hospital, earlier this year, and Gracie had, these wounds that didn't want to heal. They released her hip flexors. It's a complex procedure to straighten her back up, and they move the hip flexor down a little bit, they dissect that, and then when they move, releases it. She's able to stand up straight, and Bob's your uncle. We're ready to go. Well, it didn't heal up. And I told the orthosurgeon before we did this. I said, now, look, if something can go wrong with her, usually does, just be prepared, okay? Because she'll have complications. And sure enough, he did, and they were trying to figure this thing out. And he told me later, he said, you know, Peter, I haven't seen anything like this in all my years as an orthopedic surgeon. He's not a young man. And I said, doc, the first time a surgeon told me that Ronald Reagan was present. So I understand the journey. Well, they called in plastics, and plastics came in and reconstructed her legs. And they had to do what they, basically a surgical flap. And they did this, but she was having a lot of edema, a lot of swelling in her leg. I'm getting medical jargon here because I don't get to talk to docs very often. So I'm just throwing it at you because you are.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: The nurse in ME is taking it.

>> Peter Rosenberger: so she's on her left leg. She's got this, so they redid it, and it's about a foot long, incision site on the top of her leg where they go in there, and they did this. They dealt with the seroma that was in there, they dealt with the edema, trying to get the swelling down on that, but they. They put the flap there, and then they're going to take the stitches out. She took the surgical resident, took about two days ahead of time, which kind of concerned me a little bit. But I was on the way over there because I was staying in a hotel across the street. So I get over there, and I'm walking in the room. Gracie's laying on her back, and the surgeon had just left the chief resident. And so I. Gracie takes my hand, and I help her sit up. And the entire top of her leg de. Hissed. Now, for those of you in McDonkin, that is when the whole thing just opens right up. And it reminded me that day again why I am not a surgeon. Because there's the entire. It's 4 inches wide by a foot long. I mean, it was gruesome. And Gracie about had a panic attack. And I, quickly, lay her back down. I opened the door. Call the nurses in there and tell them to call the surgical team. I go around the other side of the bed, and so they can get access to her. And I'm sitting there, I'm holding her hand. I'm telling, baby, don't look down. Just look at me. Don't look down. Certain nurses came rushing in there. They start packing the wound. Get ready. Surgical team is on the way back. And. And I didn't know what else to do, except the first thing that came to my mind was this little course. I'm going to go part of the microphone sound. I'm going to move the microphone. Just a second, Richard and I will go to the caregiver keyboard. They don't let me sing. But Gracie can't come to the microphone right now. She's the one that needs to sing. But I started doing this in my life Lord, be glorified Be glorified In my life and I started singing that m. Gracie started singing with me, just almost hyperventilating while she was doing it. And then Gracie took over. She started singing in my leg Lord, be glorified today. And the nurses, there's a team of them. You know, when you have something like that, you don't have a small amount of people in the room. And I got MPs, I got. I got nurses, I got surgical. I got, all of them coming in there and Gracie singing in my leg Lord, be glorified now, they've heard people cuss, they've heard people scream. They've seen people throw up. They've seen people pass out. They've heard. They've heard it all. Except they hadn't heard that. I know that. And they were stunned. They marveled, who sings in my leg Lord, be glorified when it's laid bare to the bone and you've got a team of people working on you, and you've been in the hospital already for months and months, and you've had 40 years of this like she's had. Who does that? I'll tell you who does it. The people of God do that.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That's right.

>> Peter Rosenberger: That people who are equipped by the Holy Spirit. Just like Paul and Silas were singing hymns, so was Gracie and singing him. And the same Spirit that gave Paul and Silas the courage and the strength and the wherewithal to do that. And the same spirit that gave this to Gracie will also give every listener here dealing with whatever they're listening to, whatever they're dealing with, that same strength. Johnny Eareckson tada called Gracie in recovery. And I had, her on speakerphone next to Gracie's ear. And Johnny started singing and Gracie started singing. She could barely whisper it out during, one of the surgeries this year. And the two of them, who have a hundred years of disability between the two of them, and Johnny's in the hospital today, as a matter of fact, right now. And so they started singing together and it was echoing through the post opera. Other people are hearing it now. I don't know if they knew that was Johnny. I don't know if they knew anything. But the point is, where the spirit of the Lord is, there is what, there's freedom, there's liberty, there's peace, all of those things. And so where two or three are gathered and yes, it was, it was over FaceTime, but they did it. Who does that? I'll tell you who does it. The people of God do this.

The world marvels at this. The world does not know how to process this

This is what we're called to do. The world marvels at this. They don't know how to process this. The world does not know how to process this. But we are called to do this. We're called to stand firm in this. And, and I would love to tell you that Gracie and I have been the model of this for a lifetime, but we haven't been. I've been the model of failure. I have had ample time to fail at everything. And I'm the crash test dummy of caregivers. I'm the Wiley Coyote of caregivers. But we're still here. And what have we learned through this? We've learned that he who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus. This is what we've learned. This is what we anchor on. Not anything of our own, but what we have been witnessed to. We've seen too much. We've seen too much of the provision of God for us to do anything other than to throw ourselves at this. And I was standing at the ICU earlier this year looking through the glass at Gracie, and she was brought down solo. This is a woman who has stood with presidents and sung on massive stages. And, and I saw all the tubes, all the. It was tough to look at and nobody was around me, which is unusual for icu. Normally it's just a flurry of, hive of activity, but everybody was evidently in the little Pods. And I was there. nobody was around with 20ft on either side. And I looked through that glass, and I looked at Gracie, and I said, christian to myself, christian, what do you believe? Do we believe this or not? Do we anchor ourselves in this or not? It's nice to talk about this in Sunday school. It's a whole different thing to talk about it in the icu.

Peter: If you love somebody, you're going to be a caregiver

And that's what I wanted to share with every one of my fellow caregivers. Anybody who's listening to this program, who's dealing with stuff, who knows somebody who's a caregiver. If you love somebody, you're going to be a caregiver. You live long enough, you're going to need one. And I wrote this book in Fluent Caregiver. I speak fluent caregiver. However, I've learned that it's our Savior's native tongue. That's who he is. He is the ultimate caregiver of a wounded bride. He is the bridegroom, the church is the bride, and we are a wounded bunch of people. And he's the ultimate caregiver of a wounded bride. And this is what I've learned through this. Jessica.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Peter, you've literally brought me to tears. It's so beautiful, your testimony. And to see all of the things that you've been through, and you use the phrase, I've seen too much. And I think there's people who would listen to all that you've been through, all that Gracie's been through, and think, yes, absolutely, that's too much. That's. That's just too much for someone to handle. But to say you followed that up with, say you said too much of the goodness and the provision of God. And, you know, for me as a nurse, Peter, I've sat in those places where people have those choices. I've seen people choose bitterness. I've seen people choose self sufficiency. And I've seen people who have chosen surrender, who have chosen grace, who have chosen trust, even in the face of things that were just so seem so untrustworthy and so unexplainable. And there is something beautiful that happens there. There's something powerful that happens there. And much like we started the series with the song Phil Wickham, I choose the Jesus way. That's what I choose.

Wesley Biblical Seminary trains pastors and Christian leaders for practical ministry

Listen, friends, somebody today in your life needs to know about Hope for the Caregiver, the radio program that Peter has. Share it with them and we'll be back with more help and hope on the other side of this. Do you believe in the absolute inerrancy of God's holy word. Do you believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to radically change lives and empower us to live like Christ? At Wesley Biblical Seminary, we believe God is raising up a movement of people across our nation and across the world who hold fast to the authority of the Bible and the hope of holiness. We are working today to equip tomorrow's pastors and Christian leaders through biblical and theological education in practical ministry that's accredited, affordable, online, and highly personal. Our programs include undergraduate, master's and doctoral degrees, certificate programs, and even training for laypeople. So whatever your next step is in being equipped for ministry, we're here for you. And if you believe these are the kinds of pastors we need leading our churches in the future, we invite you to learn more about partnering with us through giving. Learn more about Wesley Biblical Seminary by visiting us at wbs.edu today.

>> Sound Of Heaven by Tasha Layton featuring Chris McClarney: Come have your way Would you move. In power turn every heart to you we are desperate for what only you can do Come have your way. Come have your way Come have your way Come have your way Bring the sound in heaven Let your mighty wind come rushing through Lord, Our hearts are open.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: With the saints welcome back, friends. That is the Sound of Heaven by Tasha Layton featuring Chris McClarney. And that's what we're talking about today. Is Jesus coming? Letting God have His way in your life. And you know that caregiving journey is a journey that few people would choose, but many are called to walk and to be able to be in a place in your life where you say, come have your way, regardless of the outcome, that is a tough thing to do. But for Peter Rosenberger, he has done that. And I still have not quite recovered from the past segment when he was sharing his testimony so powerful. And his walk with his wife Gracie has stretched over 40 years of marriage, a lifetime of trials. Her devastating accident at just 17 years old in a car accident set them on a medical journey involving 13 hospitals, over 100 doctors, 98 operations, the loss of both legs, but not the loss of the hope that they have. And Peter's message is not one of despair. It is one of the honestly astonishing hope. Because you look at those circumstances and you think, how can you still laugh? How can you still find joy? How can you still say, this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it? And he's reminding us the gospel doesn't deny our pain, but it meets us in it and it sustains us with the promise that even no matter what pain we face in this world, and we know that the pain our Savior endured for us and because of that, he is enough for us. He has humor, he has honesty, hard won wisdom, and he's speaking to the wounded hearts of caregivers everywhere. His book, a Caregiver's Companion scriptures, hymns, and 40 years of insights for Life's Toughest Roles is inviting us not only to understand the burdens of those that are caregiving, but to step into their world with compassion and conviction and the courage of Christlike love. So I gave you a challenge, my listeners, when we had the guests that on the host on From Hannah's Heart, which is a podcast that, that walks, alongside couples who are struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss. And I told you at that time, you know someone who is struggling with this, you need to share this resource with them. I'm giving you that same challenge today with Hope for the Caregiver with Peter Rosenberger. You know someone in your life who is on a caregiving journey, and I encourage you, just find that podcast, get this book, send it to them, and just say, I thought this might encourage you. That's all you have to say. I encourage you to do that. And Peter, I think people would listen to your story and they would think you would have every right to be bitter, to be angry, to be resentful, to just have whatever negative emotion you want to put in for all of those things that you've described. And even the story you shared is just one, one little sliver of what you have experienced. How do you still find a hope and a confidence that God is still good even in the midst of these trials and pain?

>> Peter Rosenberger: Well, first off, I think the best way to do that is when you focus on the right things, which is the cross. It always comes down to the cross. Every sermon that you hear from your pastor should always point you to Christ and the redemptive work of God through Christ, because that's what fortifies you Christian. What do you believe? Is what I said in the Last block and the Heidelberg catechism we talked about in number one, it says, what is our only comfort in life and death? And our only comfort is that we belong completely to Christ, that we are in Him. That's the only comfort we have. So when Paul says to go out and comfort one another with the same comfort you yourself have received from the God of all comfort. Well, what comfort have I received? I've been doing this since Reagan was president. Gracie was hurt back in 1983. What comfort have we received? She is in enormous amount of pain all the time, and that hasn't changed. I was talking about my friend Johnny. She's been in a wheelchair since Lyndon Johnson was president. What comfort have we received? And the comfort we have. And that word comfort in the English language has been diluted a little bit. We think of it as a comforter, like, oh, okay, there, there, there, there. No, it means come forte. Come with strength. You know, a piano used to be called a pianoforte, soft and loud because it replaced the harpsichord, which only had one volume, but a pianoforte, and it's that strength of the. Of the sound. Well, we have come for it. We are in. We are equipped, we are fortified. Jesus said another helper, I'm going to send you that will. Don't worry about what you're going to say when you get in front of people. Don't. He's going to fortify you. And that's what my message is. I'm not here to say they're there to my fellow caregivers, and I don't want anybody saying it to me. What I say to my fellow caregivers is, don't go down there. That's a bad place. I went down there. I've got the scars to prove it. I'm not a they're there kind of guy. I'm a don't go down there. Stand here. And do you remember in Indiana Jones, in the Last Crusade, when they had to go through those tests to get to the Holy Grail at the end and had it step on those letters that reflected the name of God, and if he got it wrong, he would go crashing through into a pit of despair, that kind of thing. Whatever. I'm showing you where the safe stones are. You could stand on this, and you can catch your breath here. And you can. You can, you know, just take a knee if you have to, but stand right here. And that's what my book is about. They're just quotes I've learned over the years, and I marry it with a scripture and a hymn. That's not a linear book that you got to read start to finish. You can pick it up any place you want to read and I give you a quote. One of the quotes is just breathe. Four seconds in, eight seconds out. Breathe. And that scripture, I mean, the hymn that I put with that is Breathe on Me, Breath of God, Fill me with life anew. That I would do what that would do and love with that you know that, that I love that hymn. And Gracie does an amazing version of that on the record of Breathe on Me. Breath of God. She just sings at acapella. And you talked about in the last block when you said, you know, when I talked about, it. You know, so I've seen so much. I was praying before she went into her 91st surgery. Now, this was back in March, I guess, this year, as I was praying in pre op. And I said, lord, it's too much. It's too much. 91 is too much. And I finished the prayer. I don't remember what I said, but Gracie corrected me after I prayed. And she's laying there in bed getting me going for her 91st surgery. She looked at me, she said, it's not too much. It's however many he says is necessary. Wow, that's a different kind of faith than you hear from the blabbit and grab it crowd. That's why that whole prosperity doctrine and all that kind of stuff, it doesn't hold up in the ICU. It doesn't hold up going into your 91st surgery. There has to be something greater to stand on. And we stand on the goodness. You say, how could he allow such this? I don't know why he allows all this suffering. I don't know why he's done this for Gracie. And anybody that tells you different will lie about other things. I don't know. But I know this. He came into our suffering, and he has walked with us every step of the way. He was waiting for her when she slammed into that concrete abutment. He was waiting for her before her 91st surgery. He was waiting for her this and that. And I could tell this to everyone. I this, listening. He's already waiting for you there, and he's going to walk you all the way through it.

Peter: My hope is built on Jesus blood and his righteousness

He entered our suffering. He who knew not sin put it on himself so that we don't have to be doomed to this. He has saved Gracie and me from something far worse than we've gone through. And I don't know why. I've offered my consulting services to the Almighty on numerous occasions. He has yet to take me up on it. And I've been very persuasive, I thought. But nope, he hadn't done it. And so I trust him. Why do I trust Him? Because he stretched out his hands and he took my sin on him and bore that. And he lived his righteous life and imputed that to me so that I can stand before the Father faultless. That's what the Hymn says faultless to stand before the throne. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and his righteousness. We always think of him dying on the cross for our sins, but we forget about the part that he lived a righteous life and imputed that righteousness to us. We can't just go before the God, before God without that righteousness. And it covers us. And this, this is what I've learned and this is what sustains Gracie. And this is what fortifies me. I do not want to hear people say they're there or I feel sorry for you. And neither does Gracie. What we want to hear, and I'll give you a preview of what's going to be on my show for this Saturday.

>> Peter Rosenberger: Because I go through a hymn every week of what a caregiver, him that a caregiver needs to know is where to focus our eyes. And in this particular case, And the things of earth, even in the ICU, will go strangely.in the light of his glory and grace. And so I ask your listeners, ask everyone listening to whoever's listening to this Christian, what do you believe? Do you believe this or not? I don't want to talk to people who just get excited on Sunday mornings and sway to a nice beat that they're listening to at service. I want to hear people that are fortified with the gospel to understand that, you know, nothing is going to separate us from the love of God through Christ Jesus. I got to hear this over and over and over. And I was telling this to one guy, he said, well, you know, I'm. It was a pastor. And I said, we got to hear the gospel every Sunday. He said. He said, well, I'm pretty comfortable knowing the gospel. I said, well, I'm not. I got to hear it all the time. Seeing them over and over again. Wonderful words of life. Beautiful words, wonderful words. I've got to hear this. I have caregiver amnesia. I got to be reminded of stuff that I, you know, all the time as a caregiver and I have gospel amnesia. I've got to be reminded of this over and over and over. And that's the message that I've learned through this. And I've. And I've written it down. It's kind of like a journal of 40 years. And you can turn to any page and there's a place for you to write down your thoughts about what I just said there. A hymn or whatever it is that I put there that you're going to be able to hang on to that moment. I know my fellow caregivers, they don't. They don't need this long treatise. They need something that can help them right now. Not six months from now, not six days from now, not six hours from now, right now, to help them breathe a little bit. Now, by the way, if I sound like I'm talking fast, it's only because I've had a lot of coffee today.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: But that's okay. It lets you get in more hymns and more scripture. And, you know, honestly, Peter, those are just flowing out of your mouth just because. And you can tell you've spent time in God's word. And I. As you were speaking, I was thinking of, Isaiah 53. He is a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, but he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, and yet we, esteemed him not. You know, just thinking about. God knows, Jesus knows the sorrows that we have. And when you talk about opening your book, I open it to just a page here. And you said this. You said, when a caregiver answers direct questions and third person singular, he, she, et cetera, or first person plural, we are us. It's a good indicator the loved one overshadows the caregiver's identity.

When asked about our own hearts, caregivers often struggle to share feelings

When asked about our own hearts, however, we find ourselves caught off guard and usually struggle to share our feelings. That is why it is imperative for caregivers to find a trusted individual to whom they can speak in first person singular. So, meaning that, you know, you're overshadowed by she, you know, Gracie. These are her problems. We are dealing with this. But then you forget about your own heart. And then to accompany that, the simple truth here is Jesus loves me. This I know, for the Bible tells me so. And that's just a great example. Play it. Play it. Sing to our hearts.

>> Peter Rosenberger: That's what we need to sing as caregivers. And you know where I learned that? At Covenant Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee. I was playing at the Prelude before, as people were coming in. Our pastor had asked me to play as people were coming in, just to quiet it down. This is where the shootings took place. Many years later when we went, we lived in Nashville. We went there for many years, and I was up there playing. And her pastor said, look, it's like a barnyard out here, and we need to calm m people down. Would you go out and play and just, you know, reflective music and so forth, hymns and so forth. So I did. But I've been accompanying Gracie for a lifetime, and so I'm used to playing around Gracie's voice. So I was getting up playing and they're great chords, but nobody knew what I was playing. I realized in front of hundreds of people I wasn't playing the melody and I had to go back and teach myself. Jesus loves me, this I know not we know I know for the Bible tells m me so me so, so, so he loves Gracie, I have no doubt of that. But he loathes and he loves Peter and this is what I've learned as a caregiver.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Peter, I have loved your message today. Tune in to Hope for the Caregiver on Saturday. Someone in your life absolutely needs this. Reach out. Be courageous. Be bold. Send them the book, send them the link to the podcast and say, I thought this might encourage you. That's all that you need to say. And then pray for that person's journey. And pray for your own journey. And know that as you do that I am praying that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you peace. Caregiving journey or not, I'll see you right back here tomorrow.

>> Peter Rosenberger: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

Peter Rosenberger, host of "Hope for the Caregiver," talks with Jessica about his experience as a long-term caregiver and his new book entitled "A Caregiver's Companion"

Rx for Hope: Care for the Caregiver

https://peterrosenberger.com/