Dr. Jessica Peck We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound250 and say the keyword baby or visit preborn.com/AFR $28 may not sound like much, but to a scared mother considering abortion, it can help provide something incredibly important. A real opportunity to pause and see her baby for the first time. Today, a woman facing an unexpected pregnancy can reach for her phone, search for abortion pills, connect with a provider online and have the pills delivered directly to her home. She can move from fear toward abortion incredibly quickly. But your gift can help create another opportunity. For just $28, you can help provide a free ultrasound through a PreBorn Network clinic. There a woman can see her baby talk with people who will listen to what she's facing, receive compassionate support and consider another choice before abortion becomes her answer. And when women see their babies through an ultrasound at a PreBorn Network clinic, 80% choose life. $28 can help provide one ultrasound. $280 can help provide $10. Reach her before the pill does with your strongest gift. Today, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250 baby or visit preborn.com/AFR that's preborn.com/AFR all gifts are tax- deductible and PreBorn is a five star rated charity. preborn.com/AFR
hello and welcome to the Doctor Nurse Mama show prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck Well hey there friends and welcome. Welcome to my favorite day of the week. It is fry. Yay everybody. It is fry day and we are just getting closer and closer to the holidays. I am not even going to try to hide my enthusiasm. I am so excited. I know some of you are still after Thanksgiving adherence for putting up all of your holiday stuff. I would not follow in those. I would just say bless your heart. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But whatever you're doing this Friday, whether you are get starting to get ready for Thanksgiving, you are still in football season. Whether you're working, working, you're going to see family whatever it is. I'm so glad that you are here and I Am just. I'm just glad that you're here. And before we rush into whatever comes next, I just want to have a minute here, because Friday is going to have us wondering, where in the world did the week go? And sometimes that question honestly reaches a little deeper than we think it would. Because when we're thinking about where does our time go? And it feels like for me, the older that I get, the time just goes faster and faster. The years just seem to go really, really quickly. We need to think about being intentional with our time. No matter what age or stage of life you're in, where is our time going? Are we making room for what matters most now? If you've been following along, every Friday we talk about a healthy habit. I firmly believe it is in the everyday disciplines that we have that the legacy of our family is being built. It's not in some magic moment, some life hack, some mountaintop experience that you're going to have. It's in the mundane that really becomes miraculous. And one of the things that I think is a tactic of the enemy today is really distracting families from being intentional with our time. We really see time just eaten away by our phones, honestly. And when we look at the amount of time that we spend on that, if we're really honest, the amount of time that we're looking at screens, and it's estimated that Gen Beta, which is the generation of babies who are being born right now, they're like just about 1 years old now. They're going to spend 21 years of their life in the average life expectancy lifespan, 21 years of their life looking at a screen. We need to be really intentional about that. And for me, it really, when I think over the last few years, even since Cove I know nobody wants to talk about that, but it was a really tough time. And for me personally, I'm just going to share really transparent with you. It seems like it's just been filled with funerals. And I actually, as I was preparing to talk with you guys and share with you guys, I. I was counting actually how many funerals I've been to in the last five years. And I stopped counting at 35. I mean, 35 funerals. I mean, it just reminds me that life is a whisper. It is a breath. And James, the book of James describes our lives as a mist that appears for a little while and then just vanishes. And the truth just kind of feels different when you're facing that kind of loss, when you're remembering a, voice or a conversation or Times that are not here anymore. And I know that feels heavy for a Friday, but these moments invite us to consider how we're living now. It's not to be sad. It's not to feel guilty. It's not to feel panic. It's not just to feel, you know, down and. And depressed and mopey. It's really to think about what are you doing with your life? Are the people that you love most in the world receiving your undivided attention on regular basis? Are we making room for the conversations that we keep postponing? Are we investing in things that will matter far beyond our lifetimes? Meanwhile, we live in a culture that is just constantly distracting us, giving us something else to look at. There's always another notification, another controversy, another purchase, another episode to binge watch. We can spend a whole day responding to what feels like it's pretty urgent and never reach what we believe is important. We can live lives that are dictated by our emails or our smartphone notifications. Meanwhile, the people that we love deeply are getting the most distracted version of ourselves. I know I've been really bad about this lately because I know, I hear so often. Mom, I've told you this. Mom. Listen. Mom, I need your attention. There's so much to distract me, and it's hard. Scripture invites us to walk wisely and make the most of our days. So today, that's what we're going to talk about. About is being intentional, especially in our family relationships, especially in the way that we're intentionally discipling our families. Because now, more than ever, culture is discipling you. It's already happening. It's discipling your family. Even if you think you have the best smartphone, electronic, outside influence, limitations in the world, it still is impacting us. So today is really an invitation to kind of give your life an honest look and take some small, hopeful steps toward what matters. We'll talk about what that means for the holidays as well, being intentional about that, because through the grace and mercy of Jesus, our brief lives are significant investments in eternity. And that is rooted in a living hope that no death, no funeral, no loss can ever take away. And that is the ultimate hope. And in the everyday reality of it, most of us are not deliberately choosing to disconnect from our family. We're not deliberately choosing to neglect our spiritual life, our growth, or intentionally choosing to not disciple our families. We just drift through a series of small decisions that just seem like nothing in the moment. Intentional living begins with noticing when we make those decisions and what direction they're taking us in. And we've talked a lot about the attention economy, but that is something that deserves our attention because much of digital culture is competing very fiercely for our attention. Our attention is being monetized and marketed to the highest bidder. It's happening all, without us even thinking about it. What we watch. The smartphone algorithm can even tell what you linger on just a little bit, what catches your attention. It will detect that brief hesitation and start to feed you more. What do you click on? What do you return to? What, what leads to buying? Because even they can say, oh, let me feed you this content that makes you feel a certain emotion. And then I'm going to follow it up with some. How about some. Buying some things. Let's feed some content about all the most beautiful house decorations and then make you discontent with how your house is organized. And then let's follow that up with some links for shopping. That happens. And the next pie of content always feels, oh, just one more, more urgent, more entertaining, more emotionally compelling than the ordinary moment that's right in front of us. Watching reels can be much more compelling than, oh, actually having a conversation with my spouse before we go to bed. I'm saying that generally, I know that's something we all struggle with. And outrage invites you to keep on, to just keep on looking and seeing what is there. The outrage economy. It's called rage bait. Rage is being sol. Comparison invites us keep shopping. Endless novelty makes stopping a decision, stopping that content something that we have to actively make. It's. There's no natural end to the program. There's no Star Spangled Banner coming on the TV at night saying, go to bed. Like the, the content has ended. You have to go to bed until the morning news starts. It's just constant. And we can become highly, highly informed about strangers while we don't know what is going on in our own homes. We can talk about the emotions, the feelings, the updates of families that we follow online, but we don't know that degree of detail. That's a, that's a tough truth, but that is the way that, ah, the attention economy is designed to be. That interruption is just a habit. You just reach for your phone naturally. Like if you're waiting for any amount of time, it's just natural just to reach for your phone and to start to scroll instead of looking at the people around you. And what gets our attention repeatedly starts setting the direction of our days. Distraction often helps us to avoid something. We reach for our phone when we feel anxious.
Avoiding Difficult Emotions and Conversations Through Distraction and the Overlap with Apathy
We're bored, we're lonely, we're afraid, we don't want to think about a problem we're having. And sometimes being busy just helps us to avoid a difficult conversation. We consume parenting advice, we read about it, we're watching reels about it, but we're not really practicing it at home and actually doing it. I know this is for all of us. It's so hard. We wait for family connection to feel easy before we lead in having that connection, even in seasons of struggle where it might feel hard. And, when everything becomes quiet, how do you feel? Do you start to feel anxious when it's quiet? Like, can you sit without a screen? Some of us can't. And we got the question beneath that, why am I so distracted? Is what in your life feels really difficult to sit with right now. We've gotta make room for honest emotions, whether that's exhaustion or grief or financial pressures. Honest reflection helps us to deal with those things in a healthy way, to move in the direction of coping, of support, rather than just, I'm not gonna think about it. I'm just gonna be distracted. We'll just see what happens. And distraction and apathy start to overlap because when we're constantly exposed to urgency, to problems, it just le us feeling like nothing we do is going to matter. We see this even in election season. it doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what I feel. And watching other people live is easier, honestly, and more entertaining sometimes than participating in our own relationships. But there's no eternal investment in watching other people's lives online. There is eternal investment in the messy work of relationships before you. And that's where we have a kingdom mindset that sometimes we postpone meaningful action until, well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do that until I just, I feel like it's right. I. I wanna rest a little bit. I wanna feel more certain. Sometimes it can be really realistic to postpone something, but sometimes we just do that because we're just not living with intention. We just kind of become accustomed to it. We get a little apathetic. And that indifference just starts with weariness.
Prioritizing What Truly Matters by Examining Our Actions and Aligning Them with Our Values
Like, I care about this, but I don't even know where to start. Like, so I'm just not gonna tackle it at feels too big to change. We can just choose one small, meaningful action forward. And if we had an honest look at our priorities, we can all always, say what our priorities are. But honestly, ask your kids, and they will be a really brutal accountability partner. Because if someone Looked at your calendar, if someone looked at your everyday attention, what got the most attention? What would they think matters most to you? Where you're spending your time, where you're spending your finances, where you're spending your attention. Who, who regularly receives the best version of yourself? Do you save that for work? Do you save that for friends and social circle? Do you save that for church? Or do you reserve the best version of yourself for the people who matter the most in your life? What. When we say something is important, are we really making room for that in our lives? If we say our family's important, are we engaging our time and our resources and our attention and our effort there and what we see? Okay, well this is just this season. This season. And I know I've had that conviction myself, cuz I would say, oh, this is just a season. And I'd say, nope, this is just my life. And I've gotta figure out how to be intentional in the middle of it. What do your children see you turning to, to deal with that? Overwhelm for comfort, direction for hope. And we gotta really think about that because Ephesians 5 calls believers to carefully consider how you walk. Use your time wisely.
Examining Our Lives with Curiosity and Seeking Wisdom for Intentional Family Cultivation
That is what we are instructed to do. And that is really hard when we have the attention economy competing with us in ways that we're not even aware of. So how do we examine ourselves without being overwhelmed by guilt? Because I know I'm feeling guilty in this moment, I know many of you might be there too. So just begin with some curiosity and just look at your life as an outside observer and think, okay, where is my time and attention? Where is my intention? Am, I being intentional about cultivating the kind of family that I want us to be? Am I helping us to have resources to grow in the way that we need to grow? Can I honestly name a gap between what I'm saying is important to me and what I'm actually practicing, what those habits actually are, and just ask God for wisdom on one faithful response. What's one way you can step forward? What's one way you need to stop something? You need to simplify something, you need to ask for help with something. A full calendar and a tired body. Don't tell the whole story of someone's faithfulness. That is, that is very true. And God calls us to be reflective, self reflection, become fruitful when it leads to a healthy response where we can see, okay, my values and my actions are not aligned here. What do I need to do to show my family that I am really trying to be intentional. That can be really helpful. When we come back, we'll talk about family discipleship because it can sound like another responsibility, something else that we need to do in our schedule that we've already said is overcrowded, but Deuteronomy 6 gives us remarkably encouraging instructions. Talk about these things when you're at home, along the way, at bedtime, when you get up, faith just becomes a part of the life that we share. So when we come back, I'll talk about out what intentional family discipleship actually involves. We'll see you right on the other side of this break. Hello, I'm Jessica peck, host of Dr. Nurse Mama. Did you know that this content is listener supported? Without people like you, this podcast would not exist. And that's why we need you. A generous monthly gift of any amount will help sustain American Family Radio and specifically this podcast. Please consider becoming a monthly financial partner today by visiting afr.net/give that's afr.net/give
God Is Good (All The Time) by Austin French Lately I've been wrestling with everything Cause everything seems hard Been caught up in the worry and anxiety keep tearing me apart But I've been down and out before and every time I cry out to the Lord he meets me in my knee I've seen and I believe God is good all the time Faithful as the sun to rise Walk with me every day of my life I'll sing it again I'll sing it again God is good yes he is through it all I not sure of this Safe inside my Father's m hands I'll sing it again God is good all the time
Dr. Jessica Peck welcome back friends. That is God Is Good by Austin French and I May I know there's some of you out there who are thinking God is good and you're saying all the time. And I would say back to you all the time God is good. Even in a world that seems like it's not today's healthy habit is talking about being intentional in your family discipleship. And there's a lot of us who think I want my family to grow to know the Lord. I want my family, I want my kids to grow up and I want them to love God and serve others. But sometimes we're not intentional in investing in the outcome that we want. In this world of instant gratification, it can be really hard to invest in those things. Things that grow over a long time, over seasons of struggle. But the investment is always, always worth it. Worth it. Do not grow weary in doing good for in the proper time you will reap a harvest of And that is important for us to think about. We know that culture is discipling us. Culture is discipling our families. We've got to be even more intentional about family discipleship. Families parents are the primary disciplers of their children and showing them what it look like to have a walk of faith. How do we help our kids know who God is, understand the gospel, and connect the elements of faith with our everyday life? Well, we do these through a lot of the habits we've already talked about. Reading scripture together, praying together, and practicing what you preach, modeling your faith, letting, knowing how to apologize, how to have good communication, participating in a church. All of those things are things that we have already talked about. And our children learn from what we say about God and from the way we live. When we need him, they're going to do what we do, not so much what we say. So when we see what is shaping our children, when we leave that formation to chance is. Is really that's where we can get into a scary situation. Because advertising is. Answers the question of, what would make me happy? And we saw this start in the 1950s with direct to marketing advertising to kids on, on Saturday morning cartoons and is saying, oh, this would make you happy. I knew this would make you happy. An experience of this, this travel experience would make you happy. Having this thing, this clothing, this whatever, this car, this will make you happy. Social media, on the other hand, is discipling us by answering the question, what makes me valuable? What makes me pleasing to the world? What makes what gets attention? What gets celebrated? What part of me is valuable? And when we see these entertainments, pictures that we see, whether that's there's still media, movies, television, streaming, whatever it is, they're this constant collage of pictures of what it, what they're projecting. This is what love looks like. This is what power looks like. This is what success looks like. This is what belonging looks like. And peer groups are communicating, okay? This is what earns you acceptance. Like you ha. You wear these clothes, you speak in this way, you participate in these activities and you're in the group. These are ways that we are being discipled by culture because it's communicating to us how we navigate the feeling of being successful. And so we need to really be discerning about those and think, okay, what is this message asking us to believe? How does that compare with what we believe in our faith? We can help kids notice the messages around them and think about those messages. With intentionality, we can make discipleship Very relational and very welcoming. Not structured, legalistic, very, you know, really, place of fear and feeling like, am I doing all the right things? Did I check all the right boxes? It's so relational. And there's freedom in this because it's not something more that you have to do to add onto your pack schedule. It's a way that you are going to be so thinking, what questions have you had about God lately? Making room for honest answers, Looking at those cultural cues that you get and think, what do you think about this message? Is it. How is it impacting you? Have you ever stopped to think about how it may be impacting you? Resist turning every vulnerable conversation into a lecture. Sometimes you just sit with the uncertainty of things and admit when you. You don't know the answer to something. You don't know why something's happening. But just commit that, hey, I'm here with you, and I, want to learn more about this together. Maybe as a parent, as a grandparent, you share a scripture that is challenging you personally, right?
Praying Honest Prayers and Inviting Conversation to Build Faith in Everyday Life
And you pray honest prayers in front of your kids. Even when you're sad or you're frustrated or you're not certain, or you're struggling with something like forgiveness. You just keep inviting conversation, even when your children do not respond in a way that's, oh, thank you so much, Mother and Father. That was just the most moving conversation I've ever had. I want to reassure you now at this point that I am not, in fact, going to chase after culture. I'm not going to leave my faith. I'm going to do everything that you've told me to do because you've just delivered that so wisely. No, that doesn't happen. That's not the way that God chose to disciple us and teach us that. But we want our children to know, no matter what, you can still have that invitation. Whether you're talking about things of faith, while you're eating meals or you're driving them somewhere or at bedtime or even in the middle of a disagreement, you can model apologizing where you're wrong and rupture and repair of that relationship. If you. You can model it. If you're trying to decide whether or not to purchase something to schedule, does this align with our priorities? Does this help move us along with the values that we say that we have and the family we want to be? You can just begin with those simple habits that we've been doing since January. If you missed any of those, you can go back and listen to any Friday show Because that is all what it's about. These are science supported, evidence backed research, based, faith informed questions and habits that we are wrestling with. And that's really important. It just grows through those repeated opportunities to know God, God together. You start with one conversation, one prayer, one passage of scripture, and all of a sudden you just start to grow. That is really important to do. And so when you're thinking about this, when we're thinking about for the holidays, I'll talk about that a little bit in just a second. But I really want to loop back to what I said at the beginning and just my own personal experience. And just having so many funerals and it feels like so many lives, those bring the brevity of life really close and remind us that those ordinary days that we're sometimes just hurrying through, those are the days that we'll remember the most on the way that we get to love people and Christian. Our, hope as Christians helps us face that truth with tenderness, but also with courage. And so I think about that. What, what is, what am I now less willing to postpone, knowing that life is short? What ordinary moments just feel a lot more precious to me. I think about just the, meals that I made together in my granny's kitchen. How it wasn't some big fancy something, it was just making taco soup or whatever it would be. Is there something that you want to say to someone while you still can? What are you learning? Just to, to trust God in the, in the messiness of everyday relationships. Those things shift our minds to invest in eternity, to love people, people faithfully, including those times when it feels like that love is maybe not well returned. We teach children about our faith, demonstrate compassion. We practice where people of generosity and forgiveness and hospitality, we tell the truth, we keep our commitments. All of these things that are just that are, what is important to us, what legacy do we want to leave? And that is something that I've been thinking about as I'm sitting at these services and seeing the legacies of people's lives. And some have been really just beautiful legacies of faith. And some of them, I see missed opportunities and I see grief there. But eternal hope changes the way that we face our temporary life. In First Peter 1, 3 and 4, we know that our living hope, rest in the person and resurrection of Jesus and an inheritance that doesn't perish. That is really hopeful. So thinking about what you're doing right now here on earth has eternal hope impact. It makes binge watching and scrolling somehow seem a lot Less appealing really, really quickly. So I encourage you just to think about living with more intention. Who do you want to be more present with? Where? What situations do you want to be more present in your life? Your family needs not only your physical presence, but your mental presence, your emotional presence. They need you to think with them, to feel with them, to live life with them. What's a distraction or a commitment that you have that maybe you need to put on the back burner, something you need to let go, something you need to say no to so that you can be present and intentional with your family? What is that change that you need to have that is really important? And as we get up to the holidays, we're already starting, I know, with family group texting, saying, who. Who's hosting? What are we exchanging for gifts? Who's coming, who's not coming? And all of those plans are already starting to happen. And it's easy to arrive at Christmas exhausted, having done everything on the list, bought all the things, made all the food, but just not really enjoying one another. So I want you to shift, even now, as we're early in the holiday season, shift from, okay, what do I need to get done for the holiday season? What decorations do I need to get out? What plans to travel plans do I need to. To make? Those things need to be done. But the first question I, would love for you to ask your family, ask yourself, is what do you want to make room for this Christmas? What do you. What room do you want to protect in your holiday, in your Thanksgiving and your Christmas season? What do you want to make room for? Because the holidays are going to fill up whether you plan that intentionally or not. There's always invitations and shopping and maybe travel to see family, or some of you even vacation on the holidays and other people's expectations that will claim their place. But the things that we want the most, really, we'll say our values. What we want the most is unhurried connection. We want special times together, just, family, just relationships. But often our, Our values and our habits are. There's a mismatch, especially at the holiday. So thinking, what do we want to have room for this Christmas and make the commitments then that protect that? I mean, maybe it's after a hard year, you just need some hope. Maybe after years of just kind of running in different directions and having, having disconnection, you need connection with your family. Maybe you've had a year of loss or change and you need comfort. This Christmas, it might be helpful to choose one word to guide Your season. What is the word of your holiday season? Whether that's peace or joy or comfort or connection or hope or whatever it is, then ask, okay, what is going to help us experience that? What might crowd it out? What is the most important thing for us this Christmas? Is it remembering someone? Is it having time together, at a certain place and a certain activity? Let that family word shape what you schedule, how you spend, what you're simplifying, what you're saying no to give. Your family needs a place on the calendar. Calendar before someone else claims it. So if you, if you need connection, block off that time and just say, this is our night for family connection. We're going to plan something fun, even if it's just ordering in pizza and watching a Charlie Brown Christmas, whatever it might be. Remember that before you repeat it. What did you love last year and what left you exhausted or frustrated? What did you say yes to? But it just never, like, maybe you want this big family outing, but then it just always ends up with people cranky and there's a meltdown and you always feel bad about how expensive it is. Then why do we keep doing it? Keep the traditions that serve your family, not the ones that, well, we got to do it because we've always done it. Sometimes traditions can change. Maybe you let everybody name one thing that matters. I know I love doing this in my family. What's the one Christmas tradition that is non negotiable for you, that you want to make sure that we absolutely do do? That's our priority. The rest of it is just extra. The rest of it is just bonus. You might discover maybe your kids care more about, again, just getting in their PJs and having a Christmas movie than the expensive outing that you're scrambling to book. Put connection on your calendar. Reserve some family time together. Not just, oh, we don't have anything to do because sometimes when we don't have anything to do, we feel guilty about that. Well, we're not doing anything. We're not going out and engaging in a holiday activity. Maybe just have one at home, whether that's just baking cookies together or just spending time together, going on a walk in your neighborhood and looking at Christmas lights. Whatever it is, give those plans that connection time the same respect as an, as an invitation to something formal. Decide your limits together. Maybe that's setting a gift budget and agreeing on travel and hosting before you make commitments, saying, we'd love to see you. Here's our budget for this year. Here's what we can manage don't feel bad about saying that limitation that honors your family value of being good stewards of what you have. And make sure that you're giving faith a familiar place in your holidays. Make sure that you're leaving time are you have. It doesn't have to be the perfectly, done Advent study.
Being Present with God and Loved Ones During the Holidays and Investing in Eternity
It can just be reading a few verses of the Christmas story at dinner or praying for people when they come or to your house or as you get Christmas cards. That can be a prayer. That's, a, that would be a great tradition. If you have Christmas cards every night, just grab those Christmas cards and pray for the families who sent them. That's something simple that you can have for connection. Just leave room to actually enjoy your holiday. Before you add one more thing, think, okay, is this going to help us be present with one another or not? And that is going to be my word for the Christmas season is present. I want to be present physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally with my family. And that to me, just is the heart of Christmas, of Emmanuel, of God with us. What is going to help me be present with God and the people that I love? I want to do that, protect those moments. Now, what can you decide today that's going to help you be, have fully the Christmas that you want to have, the Thanksgiving that you want to have? I know that life can be so brief, but the investments that we're making now, those connections, those relationships that live forever, and that definitely gives me hope. We'll have some home front headlines when we come back.
Peter Rosenberger while in the emergency room with my wife as she was struggling with the Covid- 19 virus herself. And I looked at her, I said, are you scared? And she said, a little bit, but I've been through worse.
The certainty of mankind's history with uncertainty an article by Peter Rosenberger. And then as her fever was approaching almost 103, she started singing. In Christ alone, I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross. And that's how she has anchored herself in the certainty of Christ, through her huge medical journey that has included 80 surgeries, both of her legs amputated, 100 doctors have treated 12 hospitals, and now the Covid- 19 virus And so when we live with those kinds of uncertainties, anchoring ourself in Christ, in Christ alone, that's the only place we can run to where there is certainty.
To read this article and more, visit afa.net/thestand
Dusty Bibles by Josiah Queen We got dust on our bibles, brand new iPhones. No wonder I why we feel this way. Hey, how you been? It's been a while and I'm just checking in. I missed the way things used to be back 2017 and I just miss my friend. Hey, I've been fighting time. I've been struggling to find some peace of mind. It's the problem of a nation and in our generation we're too busy, we can't find the time. are we busy or is it all alive? We got dust on our b, Brand new iPhones no wonder why, why we feel this way we walk with our.
Dr. Jessica Peck Welcome back friends that is Dusty Bibles by Josiah Queen. And when I hear those lyrics being nostalgic for 2017, I admit I could get real nostalgic really quickly for 2017, for those days before COVID when it seemed like the world was maybe, maybe, maybe I'm delusional, but maybe it was a little less crazy. It just feels like we have been living at the speed of a smartphone with a constant stream of chaos, of political unrest, of conflict, of just cultural influences that are concerning so many things. But, but we have a living hope. And as I've been sharing today, really been very contemplative and having lost so many people and just maybe I'm just at that stage of my life. Maybe I've just reached that age where it feels like I attend more funerals than I do wedding. But it's reminded me life is just. It's a whisper, it's a breath, but it is a gift. And I want that awareness, that treasuring of life as a gift to help me me love people more attentively, to speak more tr. More truthfully and more freely and with more conviction and really to make room for what matters while I have the opportunity to live with intention and purpose. That's what we've talked about today in the habit. And you may be noticing some missed moments in your own life or things that maybe you wish you'd done differently. Listen, it is never ever too late to bring those before the Lord. It is never too late to ask for forgiveness. It's never too late to course corre, never too late to start over. And God is faithful to meet you in that moment. I encourage you to make the most of your moments. Our, days are brief, but through Christ they are filled with purpose. We can live with intention. We can invest in eternity and we can rest in a living hope that never dies. And every once in a while there are home front headlines that give me hope. And I like to share those with you just as much as the ones that give me concern. And again, when we watch the news, remember that raid rage bait cells. So making you angry about things is going to keep you watching them. And when we watch those things and get angry, many times when our kids see it, they don't see it as we're angry for them. We just, they just see us as angry. So don't be a victim to rage bait. Know that we can respond not with fear. we can respond as faith informed families. And there are some things that should outrage us, there are some things that should make us angry. But when we start to live that way way we want to live with intention, to do what we can within our sphere of influence and to live with intention and living out our values. One of the headlines that I saw this week it was actually came from Barna research and Christ and youth. They surveyed 1500American teenagers ages 13 to 18. And among those teenagers who self identified as Christians, there were 63% of boys and 52% of girls who reported attending youth group within the previous three months. Now there's some encouraging things about this and there's some discouraging things about this. One of them is these are our youth who identify as Christians. It means only a little over half of them are, have gone to youth group in the last three months. So that's where we go back to habit number one and talk about. I really encourage you if you are, if you have a youth in your life, if you have a teenager, you're raising a teenager, whether you're a grandparent, a parent, a caregiver, really try to get them invested in a good healthy youth group group in a good Bible believing church because kids need that kind of community. They need that kind of investment from caring adults in their life. And so that, that is encouraging and maybe a little discouraging at the same time. But one of the, the trends that it talks about is the increase in boys attending. And we now have more boys who are attending than girls. So that's encouraging to see that boys are interested in faith and community and spiritual purpose. And we see this ris attendance of boys going to church. We also see a rise in interest in faith based content that's coming online. But that's not the same thing as discipleship. So that's really important. Now this, the survey identifies a difference and so we kind of wonder is girl, is attendance among girls declining? Is it staying stable? What is going, what is going on there? That's really important. But regardless, boys or girls, all youth needs, our attendees needs our needs our attention dimension. And Barna also found that, just under a third of these, of these attendees met its broader criteria for actively practicing faith across several dimensions. Let me try to say that in a different way. So out of those 60% who said that they were going only to church, they had been to youth group at least once in the last three months. Only about a third of those said that, yeah, I'm actively living my faith out. I'm ah, reading my Bible, I'm engaging in other faith practices. So there's definitely see a lot of room for growth there. So talking with our kids about how do they feel known at church, how do they feel like they belong, what makes it easier to participate, what makes it more difficult?
Building Relationships with Trustworthy Adults and Connecting Youth Group Experiences with Home Life
What are some of the barriers they have and not wanting to go? Do they not have friends? Do they, are they not sure what's going to happen there? Is it transportation? They're not sure how they're going to get there. Help your teens build relationships with trustworthy adults who welcome questions and model Christian character. Because we can tell our kids all of the things that we value that we want them to believe. We can present a biblical worldview, but it's really hard to do that in a silo. And it's powerful when we have other adults who share those same values, who are walking alongside our kids, who are invested in them, who are showing true love and care and concern. That is something that we should actively cultivate. Get to know those leaders, make sure that they are trustworthy and invest in relationships with them because you know, how it goes. As parents, we can give our kids a compliment. We can tell them we really appreciate the way that they do something and you know, they kind of blow it off and then, or, or we tell them something and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they come home and tell us the exact same thing that we told them that somebody else told them. Like it is just, you know, the world's best news ever. We shouldn't be offended by that. We should be grateful for that, that we have people stepping alongside us. That's really important to do then, and really important to do also is to connect those youth group experiences with home life. So whatever they're experiencing at church, don't let it just happen at church. Talk about what they learned in the scripture, pray together, serve together, just celebrate that spiritual interest that they see and, and that they're going. That is really important. Be encouraged when teenagers show up and then we help them to develop and cultivate relationships and opportunities to make faith part of how they live. I'm so grateful for those, those for those youth workers, for the youth pastors out there who are really engaged in the youth of tomorrow. It's so encouraging to see that when you go to church, you know that there is a person there on staff whose whole job, whose whole ministry is to think about your kid. That's what they're doing all the time is thinking how can we reach your kid, how can we support your kid, how can we make your kid feel more welcome here? How can we give your kid great experiences, that it's going to teach them some spiritual formation and foundation? That's really, really encouraging because when we see what people are facing today, it is really hard. Some of the things that they're facing. And I'm going to continue to talk about some of these things, some of these harder, some more difficult to digest headlines. So let me give you just a disclaimer to adjust your listening audience before I go forward because we're going to talk about some things that are not appropriate for younger ears, years, but things that are really important, for parents to know. We see increased, increased exposure to sexual content online, to explicit content online. And it used to be that that content was kind of difficult to access and that it was static. And so when we think about previous generations growing up, we're thinking about magazines or maybe even static Internet videos. And the magazines, you know, you'd have to go the store and buy it in a paper wrapper or maybe you would encounter it. I've heard many testimonies of encountering it through a friend, through seeing it from an older adult in a friend's house or even their own house, those kinds of things. But today it is just so pervasive and things that are even labeled as just mainstream that you can just stream all the time, they are increasingly graphic and increasing. That lowers that sensitivity of what it's okay to stream. And even in previous generations we had, you know, things you would look at the rating of everything. If it was on tv, it was going to have, you know, curse words bleeped out and, and other scenes that were edited. But now with streaming it just seems like anything goes. One of the things that we know from science is that this impacts kids brains. And especially for developing teen brains, it impacts, it makes a different impact than it does on adults. And so I'm continuing to watch more research that's coming out with that. And one of the studies that I saw that came out recently recently was actually this study was from Korea, and it compared brain structure and function in people who had problematic sexual behavior. And, and so that when we look at that, we see differences in the structure and the composition and the neural networks of the brain. And I'm speaking in very general terms, but I'm saying that this doesn't just impact how your mind is. That's separate from your brain. It actually impacts the physical structure of your brain. Now, these are, multiple studies that are. That are coming out. We're continuing to watch that. There's an organization called Fight the NewSong Drug that publishes a lot about the neuroscience of that, and that may be a research for you, but it really looks at, what happens and why this matters, because it leads to brain changes that can make it harder to overcome compulsive behaviors. And that is really hard because we often look at this as just a. A behavioral thing, and, okay, you need to stop, Stop. And it's so hard to overcome that compulsion. And we need to understand that the brain has been neurally wired to make that really, really difficult. And we just say, like, okay, well, you're just making a bad choice. Sometimes it is. It is really is really hard, especially for kids. And we. And it's hard to say, you know, we don't want to tell a kid, like, oh, if you saw something, this could permanently damage your brain. But we need to teach kids that what they're consuming is influencing their brain and teaching how to process different experiences that they see, different visual experiences that they see, different emotional experiences that they have. That's really important. So when we're looking at what our kids have looked at, we need to distinguish an accidental exposure, really normalize that, because that can be really hard for kids. I talk about this all the time. I'll continue to talk about it. Tell kids that. We need to start telling kids younger and younger, because the average exposure is estimated to be somewhat somewhere around age 8, where they might be accidentally exposed to explicit content. So we need to tell them, hey, if somebody sends you an email, a text message, you open something, you don't know what it was. You see something playing on someone else's screen, you're at somebody else's house, and they're streaming something, and they see that, you come and tell me right away. Don't ever feel bad about saying, I'm not watching that. I can't see that. Turn it off and come and talk to me right away. Now we don't have to tell them every graphic thing that they might Encounter, but just tell them images that feel strange, that feel unfamiliar, that make you feel like maybe you did something wrong, come and tell me. And we will. We will work that out together. That's really important. That's different from repeated use, where curiosity can really be a powerful. A, powerful hook there to say, okay, well, I'm really curious because when I watched that, my body responded in a certain way, and I don't really know how to interpret that. So I maybe want to have that experience again to see if I can figure it out.
Making Disclosure Possible and Inviting Conversations About Online Content and Its Effects
And then what they understand is that repeated use is. Is setting up a preferred neural pathway in their brain that can lead to a pattern of impaired control. So make disclosure possible. Make it invited. Just say, hey, if you ever find yourself where you feel like you might be in trouble or you've stumbled onto something that you know you shouldn't have, come and talk to me. I will do my very best not to be angry with you, but just to figure it out together. And there may be consequences. There may be guardrails there, but we will handle it together. We need to make sure that our kids know they can come to us. Many times they encounter information like that. They see things normalized on their phones, and they. Even though you think, oh, my kid can talk to me about anything, and my kid would never. It's. The access is so, so easy, and there are no guardrails. It seems so normal because it comes through normal streaming platforms, normal apps. It's not like you're going to the dark web and downloading stuff, something. This is just stuff that's coming every day, and they have peers around them telling them, yeah, that's really normal. Make sure that, you know, you can always tell me anything. And I may be upset. I may be disappointed. I, I m. I may be angry for a minute, but I promise I love you, and we will figure this out together. How do we talk positively about setting up guardrails to protect ourselves? No matter what age, these things are really important. Have these conversations with your kids about what kind of explicit content they may be encountering online. Ask them what their friends are encountering. Have these conversations. It's so important to be intentional in leading. Don't be reactive. Respond with intention. This builds on all of the habits we've been talking about. Thank you so much for being here with us. And I pray wherever you are, whatever you're doing, doing, the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you. Peace. I'll see you Monday.
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Dr. Jessica Peck We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound250 and say the keyword baby or visit preborn.com/AFR $28 may not sound like much, but to a scared mother considering abortion, it can help provide something incredibly important. A real opportunity to pause and see her baby for the first time. Today, a woman facing an unexpected pregnancy can reach for her phone, search for abortion pills, connect with a provider online and have the pills delivered directly to her home. She can move from fear toward abortion incredibly quickly. But your gift can help create another opportunity. For just $28, you can help provide a free ultrasound through a PreBorn Network clinic. There a woman can see her baby talk with people who will listen to what she's facing, receive compassionate support and consider another choice before abortion becomes her answer. And when women see their babies through an ultrasound at a PreBorn Network clinic, 80% choose life. $28 can help provide one ultrasound. $280 can help provide $10. Reach her before the pill does with your strongest gift. Today, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250 baby or visit preborn.com/AFR that's preborn.com/AFR all gifts are tax- deductible and PreBorn is a five star rated charity. preborn.com/AFR
hello and welcome to the Doctor Nurse Mama show prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck Well hey there friends and welcome. Welcome to my favorite day of the week. It is fry. Yay everybody. It is fry day and we are just getting closer and closer to the holidays. I am not even going to try to hide my enthusiasm. I am so excited. I know some of you are still after Thanksgiving adherence for putting up all of your holiday stuff. I would not follow in those. I would just say bless your heart. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But whatever you're doing this Friday, whether you are get starting to get ready for Thanksgiving, you are still in football season. Whether you're working, working, you're going to see family whatever it is. I'm so glad that you are here and I Am just. I'm just glad that you're here. And before we rush into whatever comes next, I just want to have a minute here, because Friday is going to have us wondering, where in the world did the week go? And sometimes that question honestly reaches a little deeper than we think it would. Because when we're thinking about where does our time go? And it feels like for me, the older that I get, the time just goes faster and faster. The years just seem to go really, really quickly. We need to think about being intentional with our time. No matter what age or stage of life you're in, where is our time going? Are we making room for what matters most now? If you've been following along, every Friday we talk about a healthy habit. I firmly believe it is in the everyday disciplines that we have that the legacy of our family is being built. It's not in some magic moment, some life hack, some mountaintop experience that you're going to have. It's in the mundane that really becomes miraculous. And one of the things that I think is a tactic of the enemy today is really distracting families from being intentional with our time. We really see time just eaten away by our phones, honestly. And when we look at the amount of time that we spend on that, if we're really honest, the amount of time that we're looking at screens, and it's estimated that Gen Beta, which is the generation of babies who are being born right now, they're like just about 1 years old now. They're going to spend 21 years of their life in the average life expectancy lifespan, 21 years of their life looking at a screen. We need to be really intentional about that. And for me, it really, when I think over the last few years, even since Cove I know nobody wants to talk about that, but it was a really tough time. And for me personally, I'm just going to share really transparent with you. It seems like it's just been filled with funerals. And I actually, as I was preparing to talk with you guys and share with you guys, I. I was counting actually how many funerals I've been to in the last five years. And I stopped counting at 35. I mean, 35 funerals. I mean, it just reminds me that life is a whisper. It is a breath. And James, the book of James describes our lives as a mist that appears for a little while and then just vanishes. And the truth just kind of feels different when you're facing that kind of loss, when you're remembering a, voice or a conversation or Times that are not here anymore. And I know that feels heavy for a Friday, but these moments invite us to consider how we're living now. It's not to be sad. It's not to feel guilty. It's not to feel panic. It's not just to feel, you know, down and. And depressed and mopey. It's really to think about what are you doing with your life? Are the people that you love most in the world receiving your undivided attention on regular basis? Are we making room for the conversations that we keep postponing? Are we investing in things that will matter far beyond our lifetimes? Meanwhile, we live in a culture that is just constantly distracting us, giving us something else to look at. There's always another notification, another controversy, another purchase, another episode to binge watch. We can spend a whole day responding to what feels like it's pretty urgent and never reach what we believe is important. We can live lives that are dictated by our emails or our smartphone notifications. Meanwhile, the people that we love deeply are getting the most distracted version of ourselves. I know I've been really bad about this lately because I know, I hear so often. Mom, I've told you this. Mom. Listen. Mom, I need your attention. There's so much to distract me, and it's hard. Scripture invites us to walk wisely and make the most of our days. So today, that's what we're going to talk about. About is being intentional, especially in our family relationships, especially in the way that we're intentionally discipling our families. Because now, more than ever, culture is discipling you. It's already happening. It's discipling your family. Even if you think you have the best smartphone, electronic, outside influence, limitations in the world, it still is impacting us. So today is really an invitation to kind of give your life an honest look and take some small, hopeful steps toward what matters. We'll talk about what that means for the holidays as well, being intentional about that, because through the grace and mercy of Jesus, our brief lives are significant investments in eternity. And that is rooted in a living hope that no death, no funeral, no loss can ever take away. And that is the ultimate hope. And in the everyday reality of it, most of us are not deliberately choosing to disconnect from our family. We're not deliberately choosing to neglect our spiritual life, our growth, or intentionally choosing to not disciple our families. We just drift through a series of small decisions that just seem like nothing in the moment. Intentional living begins with noticing when we make those decisions and what direction they're taking us in. And we've talked a lot about the attention economy, but that is something that deserves our attention because much of digital culture is competing very fiercely for our attention. Our attention is being monetized and marketed to the highest bidder. It's happening all, without us even thinking about it. What we watch. The smartphone algorithm can even tell what you linger on just a little bit, what catches your attention. It will detect that brief hesitation and start to feed you more. What do you click on? What do you return to? What, what leads to buying? Because even they can say, oh, let me feed you this content that makes you feel a certain emotion. And then I'm going to follow it up with some. How about some. Buying some things. Let's feed some content about all the most beautiful house decorations and then make you discontent with how your house is organized. And then let's follow that up with some links for shopping. That happens. And the next pie of content always feels, oh, just one more, more urgent, more entertaining, more emotionally compelling than the ordinary moment that's right in front of us. Watching reels can be much more compelling than, oh, actually having a conversation with my spouse before we go to bed. I'm saying that generally, I know that's something we all struggle with. And outrage invites you to keep on, to just keep on looking and seeing what is there. The outrage economy. It's called rage bait. Rage is being sol. Comparison invites us keep shopping. Endless novelty makes stopping a decision, stopping that content something that we have to actively make. It's. There's no natural end to the program. There's no Star Spangled Banner coming on the TV at night saying, go to bed. Like the, the content has ended. You have to go to bed until the morning news starts. It's just constant. And we can become highly, highly informed about strangers while we don't know what is going on in our own homes. We can talk about the emotions, the feelings, the updates of families that we follow online, but we don't know that degree of detail. That's a, that's a tough truth, but that is the way that, ah, the attention economy is designed to be. That interruption is just a habit. You just reach for your phone naturally. Like if you're waiting for any amount of time, it's just natural just to reach for your phone and to start to scroll instead of looking at the people around you. And what gets our attention repeatedly starts setting the direction of our days. Distraction often helps us to avoid something. We reach for our phone when we feel anxious.
Avoiding Difficult Emotions and Conversations Through Distraction and the Overlap with Apathy
We're bored, we're lonely, we're afraid, we don't want to think about a problem we're having. And sometimes being busy just helps us to avoid a difficult conversation. We consume parenting advice, we read about it, we're watching reels about it, but we're not really practicing it at home and actually doing it. I know this is for all of us. It's so hard. We wait for family connection to feel easy before we lead in having that connection, even in seasons of struggle where it might feel hard. And, when everything becomes quiet, how do you feel? Do you start to feel anxious when it's quiet? Like, can you sit without a screen? Some of us can't. And we got the question beneath that, why am I so distracted? Is what in your life feels really difficult to sit with right now. We've gotta make room for honest emotions, whether that's exhaustion or grief or financial pressures. Honest reflection helps us to deal with those things in a healthy way, to move in the direction of coping, of support, rather than just, I'm not gonna think about it. I'm just gonna be distracted. We'll just see what happens. And distraction and apathy start to overlap because when we're constantly exposed to urgency, to problems, it just le us feeling like nothing we do is going to matter. We see this even in election season. it doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what I feel. And watching other people live is easier, honestly, and more entertaining sometimes than participating in our own relationships. But there's no eternal investment in watching other people's lives online. There is eternal investment in the messy work of relationships before you. And that's where we have a kingdom mindset that sometimes we postpone meaningful action until, well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do that until I just, I feel like it's right. I. I wanna rest a little bit. I wanna feel more certain. Sometimes it can be really realistic to postpone something, but sometimes we just do that because we're just not living with intention. We just kind of become accustomed to it. We get a little apathetic. And that indifference just starts with weariness.
Prioritizing What Truly Matters by Examining Our Actions and Aligning Them with Our Values
Like, I care about this, but I don't even know where to start. Like, so I'm just not gonna tackle it at feels too big to change. We can just choose one small, meaningful action forward. And if we had an honest look at our priorities, we can all always, say what our priorities are. But honestly, ask your kids, and they will be a really brutal accountability partner. Because if someone Looked at your calendar, if someone looked at your everyday attention, what got the most attention? What would they think matters most to you? Where you're spending your time, where you're spending your finances, where you're spending your attention. Who, who regularly receives the best version of yourself? Do you save that for work? Do you save that for friends and social circle? Do you save that for church? Or do you reserve the best version of yourself for the people who matter the most in your life? What. When we say something is important, are we really making room for that in our lives? If we say our family's important, are we engaging our time and our resources and our attention and our effort there and what we see? Okay, well this is just this season. This season. And I know I've had that conviction myself, cuz I would say, oh, this is just a season. And I'd say, nope, this is just my life. And I've gotta figure out how to be intentional in the middle of it. What do your children see you turning to, to deal with that? Overwhelm for comfort, direction for hope. And we gotta really think about that because Ephesians 5 calls believers to carefully consider how you walk. Use your time wisely.
Examining Our Lives with Curiosity and Seeking Wisdom for Intentional Family Cultivation
That is what we are instructed to do. And that is really hard when we have the attention economy competing with us in ways that we're not even aware of. So how do we examine ourselves without being overwhelmed by guilt? Because I know I'm feeling guilty in this moment, I know many of you might be there too. So just begin with some curiosity and just look at your life as an outside observer and think, okay, where is my time and attention? Where is my intention? Am, I being intentional about cultivating the kind of family that I want us to be? Am I helping us to have resources to grow in the way that we need to grow? Can I honestly name a gap between what I'm saying is important to me and what I'm actually practicing, what those habits actually are, and just ask God for wisdom on one faithful response. What's one way you can step forward? What's one way you need to stop something? You need to simplify something, you need to ask for help with something. A full calendar and a tired body. Don't tell the whole story of someone's faithfulness. That is, that is very true. And God calls us to be reflective, self reflection, become fruitful when it leads to a healthy response where we can see, okay, my values and my actions are not aligned here. What do I need to do to show my family that I am really trying to be intentional. That can be really helpful. When we come back, we'll talk about family discipleship because it can sound like another responsibility, something else that we need to do in our schedule that we've already said is overcrowded, but Deuteronomy 6 gives us remarkably encouraging instructions. Talk about these things when you're at home, along the way, at bedtime, when you get up, faith just becomes a part of the life that we share. So when we come back, I'll talk about out what intentional family discipleship actually involves. We'll see you right on the other side of this break. Hello, I'm Jessica peck, host of Dr. Nurse Mama. Did you know that this content is listener supported? Without people like you, this podcast would not exist. And that's why we need you. A generous monthly gift of any amount will help sustain American Family Radio and specifically this podcast. Please consider becoming a monthly financial partner today by visiting afr.net/give that's afr.net/give
God Is Good (All The Time) by Austin French Lately I've been wrestling with everything Cause everything seems hard Been caught up in the worry and anxiety keep tearing me apart But I've been down and out before and every time I cry out to the Lord he meets me in my knee I've seen and I believe God is good all the time Faithful as the sun to rise Walk with me every day of my life I'll sing it again I'll sing it again God is good yes he is through it all I not sure of this Safe inside my Father's m hands I'll sing it again God is good all the time
Dr. Jessica Peck welcome back friends. That is God Is Good by Austin French and I May I know there's some of you out there who are thinking God is good and you're saying all the time. And I would say back to you all the time God is good. Even in a world that seems like it's not today's healthy habit is talking about being intentional in your family discipleship. And there's a lot of us who think I want my family to grow to know the Lord. I want my family, I want my kids to grow up and I want them to love God and serve others. But sometimes we're not intentional in investing in the outcome that we want. In this world of instant gratification, it can be really hard to invest in those things. Things that grow over a long time, over seasons of struggle. But the investment is always, always worth it. Worth it. Do not grow weary in doing good for in the proper time you will reap a harvest of And that is important for us to think about. We know that culture is discipling us. Culture is discipling our families. We've got to be even more intentional about family discipleship. Families parents are the primary disciplers of their children and showing them what it look like to have a walk of faith. How do we help our kids know who God is, understand the gospel, and connect the elements of faith with our everyday life? Well, we do these through a lot of the habits we've already talked about. Reading scripture together, praying together, and practicing what you preach, modeling your faith, letting, knowing how to apologize, how to have good communication, participating in a church. All of those things are things that we have already talked about. And our children learn from what we say about God and from the way we live. When we need him, they're going to do what we do, not so much what we say. So when we see what is shaping our children, when we leave that formation to chance is. Is really that's where we can get into a scary situation. Because advertising is. Answers the question of, what would make me happy? And we saw this start in the 1950s with direct to marketing advertising to kids on, on Saturday morning cartoons and is saying, oh, this would make you happy. I knew this would make you happy. An experience of this, this travel experience would make you happy. Having this thing, this clothing, this whatever, this car, this will make you happy. Social media, on the other hand, is discipling us by answering the question, what makes me valuable? What makes me pleasing to the world? What makes what gets attention? What gets celebrated? What part of me is valuable? And when we see these entertainments, pictures that we see, whether that's there's still media, movies, television, streaming, whatever it is, they're this constant collage of pictures of what it, what they're projecting. This is what love looks like. This is what power looks like. This is what success looks like. This is what belonging looks like. And peer groups are communicating, okay? This is what earns you acceptance. Like you ha. You wear these clothes, you speak in this way, you participate in these activities and you're in the group. These are ways that we are being discipled by culture because it's communicating to us how we navigate the feeling of being successful. And so we need to really be discerning about those and think, okay, what is this message asking us to believe? How does that compare with what we believe in our faith? We can help kids notice the messages around them and think about those messages. With intentionality, we can make discipleship Very relational and very welcoming. Not structured, legalistic, very, you know, really, place of fear and feeling like, am I doing all the right things? Did I check all the right boxes? It's so relational. And there's freedom in this because it's not something more that you have to do to add onto your pack schedule. It's a way that you are going to be so thinking, what questions have you had about God lately? Making room for honest answers, Looking at those cultural cues that you get and think, what do you think about this message? Is it. How is it impacting you? Have you ever stopped to think about how it may be impacting you? Resist turning every vulnerable conversation into a lecture. Sometimes you just sit with the uncertainty of things and admit when you. You don't know the answer to something. You don't know why something's happening. But just commit that, hey, I'm here with you, and I, want to learn more about this together. Maybe as a parent, as a grandparent, you share a scripture that is challenging you personally, right?
Praying Honest Prayers and Inviting Conversation to Build Faith in Everyday Life
And you pray honest prayers in front of your kids. Even when you're sad or you're frustrated or you're not certain, or you're struggling with something like forgiveness. You just keep inviting conversation, even when your children do not respond in a way that's, oh, thank you so much, Mother and Father. That was just the most moving conversation I've ever had. I want to reassure you now at this point that I am not, in fact, going to chase after culture. I'm not going to leave my faith. I'm going to do everything that you've told me to do because you've just delivered that so wisely. No, that doesn't happen. That's not the way that God chose to disciple us and teach us that. But we want our children to know, no matter what, you can still have that invitation. Whether you're talking about things of faith, while you're eating meals or you're driving them somewhere or at bedtime or even in the middle of a disagreement, you can model apologizing where you're wrong and rupture and repair of that relationship. If you. You can model it. If you're trying to decide whether or not to purchase something to schedule, does this align with our priorities? Does this help move us along with the values that we say that we have and the family we want to be? You can just begin with those simple habits that we've been doing since January. If you missed any of those, you can go back and listen to any Friday show Because that is all what it's about. These are science supported, evidence backed research, based, faith informed questions and habits that we are wrestling with. And that's really important. It just grows through those repeated opportunities to know God, God together. You start with one conversation, one prayer, one passage of scripture, and all of a sudden you just start to grow. That is really important to do. And so when you're thinking about this, when we're thinking about for the holidays, I'll talk about that a little bit in just a second. But I really want to loop back to what I said at the beginning and just my own personal experience. And just having so many funerals and it feels like so many lives, those bring the brevity of life really close and remind us that those ordinary days that we're sometimes just hurrying through, those are the days that we'll remember the most on the way that we get to love people and Christian. Our, hope as Christians helps us face that truth with tenderness, but also with courage. And so I think about that. What, what is, what am I now less willing to postpone, knowing that life is short? What ordinary moments just feel a lot more precious to me. I think about just the, meals that I made together in my granny's kitchen. How it wasn't some big fancy something, it was just making taco soup or whatever it would be. Is there something that you want to say to someone while you still can? What are you learning? Just to, to trust God in the, in the messiness of everyday relationships. Those things shift our minds to invest in eternity, to love people, people faithfully, including those times when it feels like that love is maybe not well returned. We teach children about our faith, demonstrate compassion. We practice where people of generosity and forgiveness and hospitality, we tell the truth, we keep our commitments. All of these things that are just that are, what is important to us, what legacy do we want to leave? And that is something that I've been thinking about as I'm sitting at these services and seeing the legacies of people's lives. And some have been really just beautiful legacies of faith. And some of them, I see missed opportunities and I see grief there. But eternal hope changes the way that we face our temporary life. In First Peter 1, 3 and 4, we know that our living hope, rest in the person and resurrection of Jesus and an inheritance that doesn't perish. That is really hopeful. So thinking about what you're doing right now here on earth has eternal hope impact. It makes binge watching and scrolling somehow seem a lot Less appealing really, really quickly. So I encourage you just to think about living with more intention. Who do you want to be more present with? Where? What situations do you want to be more present in your life? Your family needs not only your physical presence, but your mental presence, your emotional presence. They need you to think with them, to feel with them, to live life with them. What's a distraction or a commitment that you have that maybe you need to put on the back burner, something you need to let go, something you need to say no to so that you can be present and intentional with your family? What is that change that you need to have that is really important? And as we get up to the holidays, we're already starting, I know, with family group texting, saying, who. Who's hosting? What are we exchanging for gifts? Who's coming, who's not coming? And all of those plans are already starting to happen. And it's easy to arrive at Christmas exhausted, having done everything on the list, bought all the things, made all the food, but just not really enjoying one another. So I want you to shift, even now, as we're early in the holiday season, shift from, okay, what do I need to get done for the holiday season? What decorations do I need to get out? What plans to travel plans do I need to. To make? Those things need to be done. But the first question I, would love for you to ask your family, ask yourself, is what do you want to make room for this Christmas? What do you. What room do you want to protect in your holiday, in your Thanksgiving and your Christmas season? What do you want to make room for? Because the holidays are going to fill up whether you plan that intentionally or not. There's always invitations and shopping and maybe travel to see family, or some of you even vacation on the holidays and other people's expectations that will claim their place. But the things that we want the most, really, we'll say our values. What we want the most is unhurried connection. We want special times together, just, family, just relationships. But often our, Our values and our habits are. There's a mismatch, especially at the holiday. So thinking, what do we want to have room for this Christmas and make the commitments then that protect that? I mean, maybe it's after a hard year, you just need some hope. Maybe after years of just kind of running in different directions and having, having disconnection, you need connection with your family. Maybe you've had a year of loss or change and you need comfort. This Christmas, it might be helpful to choose one word to guide Your season. What is the word of your holiday season? Whether that's peace or joy or comfort or connection or hope or whatever it is, then ask, okay, what is going to help us experience that? What might crowd it out? What is the most important thing for us this Christmas? Is it remembering someone? Is it having time together, at a certain place and a certain activity? Let that family word shape what you schedule, how you spend, what you're simplifying, what you're saying no to give. Your family needs a place on the calendar. Calendar before someone else claims it. So if you, if you need connection, block off that time and just say, this is our night for family connection. We're going to plan something fun, even if it's just ordering in pizza and watching a Charlie Brown Christmas, whatever it might be. Remember that before you repeat it. What did you love last year and what left you exhausted or frustrated? What did you say yes to? But it just never, like, maybe you want this big family outing, but then it just always ends up with people cranky and there's a meltdown and you always feel bad about how expensive it is. Then why do we keep doing it? Keep the traditions that serve your family, not the ones that, well, we got to do it because we've always done it. Sometimes traditions can change. Maybe you let everybody name one thing that matters. I know I love doing this in my family. What's the one Christmas tradition that is non negotiable for you, that you want to make sure that we absolutely do do? That's our priority. The rest of it is just extra. The rest of it is just bonus. You might discover maybe your kids care more about, again, just getting in their PJs and having a Christmas movie than the expensive outing that you're scrambling to book. Put connection on your calendar. Reserve some family time together. Not just, oh, we don't have anything to do because sometimes when we don't have anything to do, we feel guilty about that. Well, we're not doing anything. We're not going out and engaging in a holiday activity. Maybe just have one at home, whether that's just baking cookies together or just spending time together, going on a walk in your neighborhood and looking at Christmas lights. Whatever it is, give those plans that connection time the same respect as an, as an invitation to something formal. Decide your limits together. Maybe that's setting a gift budget and agreeing on travel and hosting before you make commitments, saying, we'd love to see you. Here's our budget for this year. Here's what we can manage don't feel bad about saying that limitation that honors your family value of being good stewards of what you have. And make sure that you're giving faith a familiar place in your holidays. Make sure that you're leaving time are you have. It doesn't have to be the perfectly, done Advent study.
Being Present with God and Loved Ones During the Holidays and Investing in Eternity
It can just be reading a few verses of the Christmas story at dinner or praying for people when they come or to your house or as you get Christmas cards. That can be a prayer. That's, a, that would be a great tradition. If you have Christmas cards every night, just grab those Christmas cards and pray for the families who sent them. That's something simple that you can have for connection. Just leave room to actually enjoy your holiday. Before you add one more thing, think, okay, is this going to help us be present with one another or not? And that is going to be my word for the Christmas season is present. I want to be present physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally with my family. And that to me, just is the heart of Christmas, of Emmanuel, of God with us. What is going to help me be present with God and the people that I love? I want to do that, protect those moments. Now, what can you decide today that's going to help you be, have fully the Christmas that you want to have, the Thanksgiving that you want to have? I know that life can be so brief, but the investments that we're making now, those connections, those relationships that live forever, and that definitely gives me hope. We'll have some home front headlines when we come back.
Peter Rosenberger while in the emergency room with my wife as she was struggling with the Covid- 19 virus herself. And I looked at her, I said, are you scared? And she said, a little bit, but I've been through worse.
The certainty of mankind's history with uncertainty an article by Peter Rosenberger. And then as her fever was approaching almost 103, she started singing. In Christ alone, I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross. And that's how she has anchored herself in the certainty of Christ, through her huge medical journey that has included 80 surgeries, both of her legs amputated, 100 doctors have treated 12 hospitals, and now the Covid- 19 virus And so when we live with those kinds of uncertainties, anchoring ourself in Christ, in Christ alone, that's the only place we can run to where there is certainty.
To read this article and more, visit afa.net/thestand
Dusty Bibles by Josiah Queen We got dust on our bibles, brand new iPhones. No wonder I why we feel this way. Hey, how you been? It's been a while and I'm just checking in. I missed the way things used to be back 2017 and I just miss my friend. Hey, I've been fighting time. I've been struggling to find some peace of mind. It's the problem of a nation and in our generation we're too busy, we can't find the time. are we busy or is it all alive? We got dust on our b, Brand new iPhones no wonder why, why we feel this way we walk with our.
Dr. Jessica Peck Welcome back friends that is Dusty Bibles by Josiah Queen. And when I hear those lyrics being nostalgic for 2017, I admit I could get real nostalgic really quickly for 2017, for those days before COVID when it seemed like the world was maybe, maybe, maybe I'm delusional, but maybe it was a little less crazy. It just feels like we have been living at the speed of a smartphone with a constant stream of chaos, of political unrest, of conflict, of just cultural influences that are concerning so many things. But, but we have a living hope. And as I've been sharing today, really been very contemplative and having lost so many people and just maybe I'm just at that stage of my life. Maybe I've just reached that age where it feels like I attend more funerals than I do wedding. But it's reminded me life is just. It's a whisper, it's a breath, but it is a gift. And I want that awareness, that treasuring of life as a gift to help me me love people more attentively, to speak more tr. More truthfully and more freely and with more conviction and really to make room for what matters while I have the opportunity to live with intention and purpose. That's what we've talked about today in the habit. And you may be noticing some missed moments in your own life or things that maybe you wish you'd done differently. Listen, it is never ever too late to bring those before the Lord. It is never too late to ask for forgiveness. It's never too late to course corre, never too late to start over. And God is faithful to meet you in that moment. I encourage you to make the most of your moments. Our, days are brief, but through Christ they are filled with purpose. We can live with intention. We can invest in eternity and we can rest in a living hope that never dies. And every once in a while there are home front headlines that give me hope. And I like to share those with you just as much as the ones that give me concern. And again, when we watch the news, remember that raid rage bait cells. So making you angry about things is going to keep you watching them. And when we watch those things and get angry, many times when our kids see it, they don't see it as we're angry for them. We just, they just see us as angry. So don't be a victim to rage bait. Know that we can respond not with fear. we can respond as faith informed families. And there are some things that should outrage us, there are some things that should make us angry. But when we start to live that way way we want to live with intention, to do what we can within our sphere of influence and to live with intention and living out our values. One of the headlines that I saw this week it was actually came from Barna research and Christ and youth. They surveyed 1500American teenagers ages 13 to 18. And among those teenagers who self identified as Christians, there were 63% of boys and 52% of girls who reported attending youth group within the previous three months. Now there's some encouraging things about this and there's some discouraging things about this. One of them is these are our youth who identify as Christians. It means only a little over half of them are, have gone to youth group in the last three months. So that's where we go back to habit number one and talk about. I really encourage you if you are, if you have a youth in your life, if you have a teenager, you're raising a teenager, whether you're a grandparent, a parent, a caregiver, really try to get them invested in a good healthy youth group group in a good Bible believing church because kids need that kind of community. They need that kind of investment from caring adults in their life. And so that, that is encouraging and maybe a little discouraging at the same time. But one of the, the trends that it talks about is the increase in boys attending. And we now have more boys who are attending than girls. So that's encouraging to see that boys are interested in faith and community and spiritual purpose. And we see this ris attendance of boys going to church. We also see a rise in interest in faith based content that's coming online. But that's not the same thing as discipleship. So that's really important. Now this, the survey identifies a difference and so we kind of wonder is girl, is attendance among girls declining? Is it staying stable? What is going, what is going on there? That's really important. But regardless, boys or girls, all youth needs, our attendees needs our needs our attention dimension. And Barna also found that, just under a third of these, of these attendees met its broader criteria for actively practicing faith across several dimensions. Let me try to say that in a different way. So out of those 60% who said that they were going only to church, they had been to youth group at least once in the last three months. Only about a third of those said that, yeah, I'm actively living my faith out. I'm ah, reading my Bible, I'm engaging in other faith practices. So there's definitely see a lot of room for growth there. So talking with our kids about how do they feel known at church, how do they feel like they belong, what makes it easier to participate, what makes it more difficult?
Building Relationships with Trustworthy Adults and Connecting Youth Group Experiences with Home Life
What are some of the barriers they have and not wanting to go? Do they not have friends? Do they, are they not sure what's going to happen there? Is it transportation? They're not sure how they're going to get there. Help your teens build relationships with trustworthy adults who welcome questions and model Christian character. Because we can tell our kids all of the things that we value that we want them to believe. We can present a biblical worldview, but it's really hard to do that in a silo. And it's powerful when we have other adults who share those same values, who are walking alongside our kids, who are invested in them, who are showing true love and care and concern. That is something that we should actively cultivate. Get to know those leaders, make sure that they are trustworthy and invest in relationships with them because you know, how it goes. As parents, we can give our kids a compliment. We can tell them we really appreciate the way that they do something and you know, they kind of blow it off and then, or, or we tell them something and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they come home and tell us the exact same thing that we told them that somebody else told them. Like it is just, you know, the world's best news ever. We shouldn't be offended by that. We should be grateful for that, that we have people stepping alongside us. That's really important to do then, and really important to do also is to connect those youth group experiences with home life. So whatever they're experiencing at church, don't let it just happen at church. Talk about what they learned in the scripture, pray together, serve together, just celebrate that spiritual interest that they see and, and that they're going. That is really important. Be encouraged when teenagers show up and then we help them to develop and cultivate relationships and opportunities to make faith part of how they live. I'm so grateful for those, those for those youth workers, for the youth pastors out there who are really engaged in the youth of tomorrow. It's so encouraging to see that when you go to church, you know that there is a person there on staff whose whole job, whose whole ministry is to think about your kid. That's what they're doing all the time is thinking how can we reach your kid, how can we support your kid, how can we make your kid feel more welcome here? How can we give your kid great experiences, that it's going to teach them some spiritual formation and foundation? That's really, really encouraging because when we see what people are facing today, it is really hard. Some of the things that they're facing. And I'm going to continue to talk about some of these things, some of these harder, some more difficult to digest headlines. So let me give you just a disclaimer to adjust your listening audience before I go forward because we're going to talk about some things that are not appropriate for younger ears, years, but things that are really important, for parents to know. We see increased, increased exposure to sexual content online, to explicit content online. And it used to be that that content was kind of difficult to access and that it was static. And so when we think about previous generations growing up, we're thinking about magazines or maybe even static Internet videos. And the magazines, you know, you'd have to go the store and buy it in a paper wrapper or maybe you would encounter it. I've heard many testimonies of encountering it through a friend, through seeing it from an older adult in a friend's house or even their own house, those kinds of things. But today it is just so pervasive and things that are even labeled as just mainstream that you can just stream all the time, they are increasingly graphic and increasing. That lowers that sensitivity of what it's okay to stream. And even in previous generations we had, you know, things you would look at the rating of everything. If it was on tv, it was going to have, you know, curse words bleeped out and, and other scenes that were edited. But now with streaming it just seems like anything goes. One of the things that we know from science is that this impacts kids brains. And especially for developing teen brains, it impacts, it makes a different impact than it does on adults. And so I'm continuing to watch more research that's coming out with that. And one of the studies that I saw that came out recently recently was actually this study was from Korea, and it compared brain structure and function in people who had problematic sexual behavior. And, and so that when we look at that, we see differences in the structure and the composition and the neural networks of the brain. And I'm speaking in very general terms, but I'm saying that this doesn't just impact how your mind is. That's separate from your brain. It actually impacts the physical structure of your brain. Now, these are, multiple studies that are. That are coming out. We're continuing to watch that. There's an organization called Fight the NewSong Drug that publishes a lot about the neuroscience of that, and that may be a research for you, but it really looks at, what happens and why this matters, because it leads to brain changes that can make it harder to overcome compulsive behaviors. And that is really hard because we often look at this as just a. A behavioral thing, and, okay, you need to stop, Stop. And it's so hard to overcome that compulsion. And we need to understand that the brain has been neurally wired to make that really, really difficult. And we just say, like, okay, well, you're just making a bad choice. Sometimes it is. It is really is really hard, especially for kids. And we. And it's hard to say, you know, we don't want to tell a kid, like, oh, if you saw something, this could permanently damage your brain. But we need to teach kids that what they're consuming is influencing their brain and teaching how to process different experiences that they see, different visual experiences that they see, different emotional experiences that they have. That's really important. So when we're looking at what our kids have looked at, we need to distinguish an accidental exposure, really normalize that, because that can be really hard for kids. I talk about this all the time. I'll continue to talk about it. Tell kids that. We need to start telling kids younger and younger, because the average exposure is estimated to be somewhat somewhere around age 8, where they might be accidentally exposed to explicit content. So we need to tell them, hey, if somebody sends you an email, a text message, you open something, you don't know what it was. You see something playing on someone else's screen, you're at somebody else's house, and they're streaming something, and they see that, you come and tell me right away. Don't ever feel bad about saying, I'm not watching that. I can't see that. Turn it off and come and talk to me right away. Now we don't have to tell them every graphic thing that they might Encounter, but just tell them images that feel strange, that feel unfamiliar, that make you feel like maybe you did something wrong, come and tell me. And we will. We will work that out together. That's really important. That's different from repeated use, where curiosity can really be a powerful. A, powerful hook there to say, okay, well, I'm really curious because when I watched that, my body responded in a certain way, and I don't really know how to interpret that. So I maybe want to have that experience again to see if I can figure it out.
Making Disclosure Possible and Inviting Conversations About Online Content and Its Effects
And then what they understand is that repeated use is. Is setting up a preferred neural pathway in their brain that can lead to a pattern of impaired control. So make disclosure possible. Make it invited. Just say, hey, if you ever find yourself where you feel like you might be in trouble or you've stumbled onto something that you know you shouldn't have, come and talk to me. I will do my very best not to be angry with you, but just to figure it out together. And there may be consequences. There may be guardrails there, but we will handle it together. We need to make sure that our kids know they can come to us. Many times they encounter information like that. They see things normalized on their phones, and they. Even though you think, oh, my kid can talk to me about anything, and my kid would never. It's. The access is so, so easy, and there are no guardrails. It seems so normal because it comes through normal streaming platforms, normal apps. It's not like you're going to the dark web and downloading stuff, something. This is just stuff that's coming every day, and they have peers around them telling them, yeah, that's really normal. Make sure that, you know, you can always tell me anything. And I may be upset. I may be disappointed. I, I m. I may be angry for a minute, but I promise I love you, and we will figure this out together. How do we talk positively about setting up guardrails to protect ourselves? No matter what age, these things are really important. Have these conversations with your kids about what kind of explicit content they may be encountering online. Ask them what their friends are encountering. Have these conversations. It's so important to be intentional in leading. Don't be reactive. Respond with intention. This builds on all of the habits we've been talking about. Thank you so much for being here with us. And I pray wherever you are, whatever you're doing, doing, the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you. Peace. I'll see you Monday.
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Jeff Chamblee the views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
It's Ask Dr. Nurse Mama Friday! Jessica discusses this week's healthy habit is being intentional as well as this week's Homefront Headlines.
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