Thanking our sponsor Preborn and the vital role of ultrasounds in saving babies and mothers lives
Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby or visit preborn.com/AFR friend we're living in a defining moment today. A woman facing an unexpected pregnancy can order the abortion pill online, often before anyone has the chance to tell her she is loved, that she's not alone, or that there is hope. That's why you are needed right now. You were made for this moment. At, PreBorn Network clinics, mothers are welcomed with compassion, practical support and a free ultrasound. And when she sees her baby and hears that tiny heartbeat for the very first time, fear often gives way to hope. And in fact, more than 80% of abortion vulnerable women choose life after seeing their baby on an ultrasound at a PreBorn Network clinic. That one moment can save a baby's life and open a mother's heart to the hope of Jesus Christ. This is our moment to stand. For those who cannot speak for themselves, just $28 provides one life saving ultrasound. $140 helps rescue five babies. Please don't wait. Dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250 baby. If you're a business owner, would you consider a larger donation to claim a write off? Your best gift would be appreciated. A stand alone gift of $15,000 will sponsor an ultrasound machine for a needy clinic helping to save countless babies lives for years to come. All gifts are tax- deductible. Together we can save lives one heartbeat at a time. preborn.com/AFR hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing hope for
: healthy families here on family radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peek.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends.
The fast-paced modern world and the Gen X generation's upbringing with the clock and latchkey kids
Welcome to my favorite time of day. I'm so happy to get to spend time with you this afternoon. And you know, I feel like we are advancing in the year and we are living. It feels like time is going so fast. I don't know if that's just me getting older. Maybe you're thinking, no, that's not my experience at all. But it seems like maybe when I talk to my friends, to my peers, to people just in the community, it just feels like life moves so fast and we live in a culture where families are constantly competing for one another's attention. I was actually listening to some research today about Gen X, which, you know, I have a propensity for Gen X because I am Gen X. And they said something that really caught my attention. They said Gen X is the first generation that was raised by a clock. That before that they had that, generally speaking, most children had a caregiver within arm's lengths and they got up with the son and went to bed with the son and their caregiver would call them for dinner. But Gen X, the latchkey kid generation, that is when we had a lot of more parents who were working outside the home. Gen X kids were notoriously independent, and they were. Their lives were set by the clock. When it said it was time to go to school, when it said it was time to go home, when the show ended, when, you know, you just. We started to live our lives by the clock. And I've been thinking about that ever since this morning when I heard it. And the truth is, I see that in my own family and my kids are not Gen X. But our kids are moving from school to sports to activities to homework, to bed. And parents are answering emails and finishing work and managing dinner and checking their schedule. And somewhere in the middle of all of that is a constant barrage of screens and notification and social media pulling us to the doom scroll and a thousand other voices competing to tell our children who they are and what matters. And when the day finally winds down, we have the lights go off, or at least they start to go off in the house. And maybe, hopefully, if you've been following along with our Healthy Habits series on Fridays, maybe the devices go outside the bedroom, maybe the house gets quieter. Maybe you start to play a, quiet worship music to signal a change in energy. But for many families, be.
Bedtime as a crucial opportunity for parental connection and building resilience in children's lives
Bedtime is one of those few moments when a child is physically close to a parent and actually has their undivided attention. But here is the tension in that need for attention. I know I face this. I was a mom of four. My kids were born very close together. And by the time we got to the end of the day, I was kind of done myself. I think, just go to bed. You know, please don't ask for four glasses of water. Please don't ask for another stuffed animal. Please don't come and tell me there's a monster in your closet. Please, Mommy, just want some time. But the Lord really convicted me about that and said, you are missing an opportunity. So one of the Things that I had to learn was to find some downtime somewhere in that afternoon and evening rush because I knew that it was during that season. I was working double shifts and I had to find somewhere to take a little break and really gear myself up. Not that, okay, this is. Let me rush to the finish line, get everybody in bed. I might have some me time. I might be actually able to go to sleep because I'm exhausted or get stuff done that I need to get done. I was really intentional about building margin into my day so that my m. Energy shifted and I was ready to meet the moment. I know that if you have been a parent, if you've picked a kid up from school ever, you pick them up from school and you say, how was your day? And you know the answer to what they say? They say, fine. Well, what happened? you know, tell me something about it. Why are you asking, well, me all these questions like it was just a fine day, and yet somehow, if you do it just right, when you go in for. To tuck them in for good night routine, somehow they're ready to read the war and peace of their life. Let me tell you everything. And if you're not ready for that, if you're not looking for that, you might miss it. And research shows that there is something that shifts in their energy at night. They feel safe. They should feel safe in their safe space in their bedroom. And, you know, they. They don't have anywhere to be. It's just a moment just to rest in their hearts, open up for just a little moment. So what if we stop thinking about bedtime simply as the final task of the day? And we started to see it as the golden hour, as a, golden opportunity, as the time when you may build more memories with your kids than at any other time. Because, yes, they're going to remember you being at the soccer game, kind of, you know, they'll say, wait, did you. Did you make those treats for my class? no, I don't really remember that. No. Were you there? You were there at all my games? Yes, I was there at all your games. But there's something that happens in bonding. At the end of the day, there is such an opportunity to reconnect.
The profound impact of sleep on memory processing and the power of feeling safe and loved
There is an opportunity to remind our children that they are deeply loved. There is an opportunity to unwind the mysteries of the universe. There's an opportunity to speak truth over their identity. And as they. They go to bed, their brain starts to get ready to process all of those things. Here's the phenomenal thing about the way that God made sleep. God made our sleep cycles to be restorative. And even when we are asleep. One of the reasons that sleep is so important is, because it changes the way our brain processes, organizes, and stores the memories that we had in that day. Now, some memories are explicit, and I'm, What I mean by that is not, you know, not, not that they were bad. It means that they are very specific. Like you remember an exact time that you were. You remember something, somebody, some, something that somebody said. But a lot of our memories are actually implicit memories. And it means that there's not a specific sequence of events, there's not a specific word that was said that was rem, maybe even not a place. But it's a feeling, it's a sensation. And when you have that feeling of safety, it triggers that pathway in your brain for those implicit memories. And that's where we think, okay, I was safe there, I was loved there. Kind of like the quote, I'm sure you've heard said that, you know, you may not remember what somebody did, but you certainly remember how they made you feel.
Seizing opportunities for deep conversations and connection over screens for healthier relationships
And I really want to encourage you to take that opportunity. If you have kids, and your home at night. And you know what, even if you're not a parent, even if you don't have kids in the house anymore, maybe your kids are grown, it's a great opportunity to connect with your spouse. If you have a spouse or just someone else you love. At the end of the day, when nothing is pressing, there's no, oh, I gotta get to the next thing, oh, I gotta have an appointment. There is such an opportunity to have deep conversations. And if I'm being really honest, one of the tough things is what you're doing at night instead is most of us are attached to a screen. I know, I struggle with it too. And we're scrolling and we're scrolling and we're scrolling. And that's kind of the, the marriage routine now, right? Like, one of you is going to put your phone up before the other ones, and the other one's going to say, hey, can you put your reels on mute? You know, can you before, so I can go to bed? Hey, can you dim your screen so that I can go to bed? And this is not good for us. It is keeping us distracted. And I've seen some statistics coming out, especially about Gen Alpha, saying that a kid born in 2025 is going to spend about 21,000 hours of their life looking at a screen. The average American is scrolling about the height of content on your smartphone, if you were to take all of those times you move your thumb on your phone, it's the height of the Statue of Liberty. And yet we're saying, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't have time to. I didn't have time to talk to you about that. I didn't have time to go back and, and work on that relationship issue. I, I forgot to ask you about how that test went, how that thing went at work. We can no longer have a good excuse for that. We really have such an opportunity to change the way that we are going to bed, the way that we are ending our days. We have an opportunity to point those we love toward the God who created every part of them and is with them as they close their eyes, as they enter the night. And that is going to set them up for success in the way that their brain is processing what happened during the day.
Introducing Solomon Rexius and his book on the spiritual power of bedtime blessings for children
And you're building literal building blocks of resilience inside their brain. So today we're going to talk about the spiritual power of those bedtime blessings and how a simple, repeatable practice can become part of the spiritual formation of our children. My guest next is Solomon Rexius. He is a pastor and a writer from Eugene, Oregon. Solomon graduated from the University of Oregon before pursuing vocational ministry. He earned his Master of Divinity from Western Seminary. He and his wife Lizzie married in 2011. They're now raising four children. And Solomon served as the director of Salt Company in Ames, Iowa for six years before returning to Eugene to Plant Generations Church. And this book that he, that we're talking about today that he wrote has a personal origin story because it grew out of a special prayer and blessing that Solomon developed for his own children. It's something that began within his family and now is something he wants to share with others. Solomon, welcome to the show. We're so glad to have you here.
Solomon Rexius: Thanks for having me, Jessica. I appreciate it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, I want to say this just right off the bat. When I read your name, Solomon Rexius, it feels like you are in straight out of the cast of Gladiator. That is such a good, strong, solid name. Do you have any good story for why you were named, how you got your name? Or are you just cool like that?
Solomon Rexius: You know, it's a big name to live up to because, yeah, first of all, the name Rex just means king, you know, so there you go. Tough start. Big, big expectations. And then, of course, King Solomon, in the Bible, lots of wisdom, king of peace. And, actually, I was named after my great grandpa. And so I'm not the Solomon Rexius, but, yeah, it's a lot to live up to. I actually have a twin brother too, named Caleb. Another strong biblical name.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And that is a great, great title. Great name on the front of the book, but great story behind the story. Solomon, how did you come to write this book? Tell us about the story and your family that led to the inspiration for this book.
Developing bedtime blessings from simple prayers to a full body blessing for children
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I, you know, I have four kids. I'm also one of four kids. I had great parents. I'm doing my best with parenting. I don't claim to be an expert on parenting, but I did feel like there was an opportunity with some of the nighttime opportunities. So it really started simply. you know, we had our son back in 2014. He's 12 now, but it was around when he was about 1. I remember seeing that thing. I think I even saw it as. This is going to sound so weird, but, you know, those emojis, it's like the three wise monkeys. They hear no evil, speak no evil. I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. You know how they cover. So then I just. One night I just prayed my son, you know, and I think it started almost that simply, but I was like, I don't want to just use the word evil so much right before bedtime. Let's change it up a little bit. So then it was like, you know, lord, help him to see your beauty and the best in others and to look away from impurity, but not from injustice. You know, that's kind of where it started. And then I was like, well, I can do more than just the eyes. Like, you know, I want his mind to be clear and to have thoughts that are helpful and move the world forward. So then that's kind of how it started. It started with just a few, like, sayings and then became into a full kind of, blessing over the entire body.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I absolutely love it because this is the hope in the world today. Honestly, it is. Because I think parents really feel like it's gotta be something more complex. I mean, you even just said, I'm not an expert in parenting, but what you're doing is amazing. And God has made it ridiculously simple for us when it. When we get down to it, it's just all about building connections. It's about apologizing when we get it wrong. But kids thrive in consistency. That's one of the biggest things that we get. Give can give them. Not rigidity, not a rigid schedule that, you know, they're going to bed at exact they're going to brush their teeth at 8:03 and then we're going to turn off the light at 8:06 and a half. You know, it's not that, but just the act of speaking that blessing over your son, over your children, every single night, that is something that God is going to bless.
Spiritual formation through repeated small actions and the power of blessings for children
That is a little tiny mustard seed that he is going to take and grow it into a mighty tree. It will be a mighty mountain because your children will have that imprinted on their heart and their mind and their soul. And it is just that simple. I encourage people to come up with that blessing for the nighttime and also for the morning. There's a certain blessing that you can just say as your kids walk out the door. One of mine is really simple. May you walk with confidence as a man of integrity. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. Speaking that blessing is a really powerful opportunity. And I have some more questions for you about this. Because spiritual formation is happening through those small things that are repeated faithfully. And it may be sitting beside their bed at night, just putting your hand on their shoulder and praying a prayer, a blessing, just reminding them you are loved, you are God's creation. God is with you. Those ordinary moments can grow extraordinary faith. Be right back with more from Solomon Rexius.
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Pray by Sanctus Real: I bow my head to pray way. I don't know what to say I'm not sure how to fix the things I'm dealing with I'm in a desperate place I need to share the weight But I just don't know how to let it all pour out and though I'm silent my heart is crying Cause I was made m to come to you so I pray God, I need you more than words can say right here in this moment you know my heart you know my need you know every part of me so even if it's just to speak your name I'm going to pray. I failed to find the time.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Pray by Sanctus Real and that is sometimes the the best. It's always a good thing to do and it is the best thing that we can do for our kids. And one of the great things that I'm encouraging you to do for your kids is to have a bedtime blessing, have a bedtime routine, really rethink that.
The importance of bedtime connection and Solomon Rexius's book A Bedtime Blessing from Head to Toe
You don't want to just crash and burn at the end of the day and everybody kind of just skates into their bed and just falls there. You really want to have a moment of connection. Now, this doesn't have to be really elaborate. It doesn't have to be really fancy. It doesn't have to be really long or theological. It's just a simple moment of connection. And I'm talking today to father of four, husband Pastor Solomon Rexius. He's written a board book to help parents to start this routine. It's called A Bedtime Blessing from Head to Toe. And this is, it just encourages me so much, honestly, Solomon, to see a dad who is invested in blessing his children. Because we know this is a very biblical concept. Can you talk about a little bit of your perspective as pastor and how that informed what you wanted to bring into your family as this biblical concept of blessing?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I mean, I think back to the blessing, and I think it's Leviticus 6, you know, or numbers 6, where, you know, Aaron blesses all the Levites There's just something powerful about taking a moment, whether that's one person in front of you or a whole community, a whole city, and be like, here's, here's what God wants for you. And in the form of a prayer, I think it's really powerful. And so even there's elements of this prayer that are, you know, you can tell it was created for a child. But sometimes when my wife and I pray it, like I need somebody to pray that over me, you know, that's not my six year old. I need that from my eyes and my mind and my shoulder. Lord, give strength to my shoulders to carry the weight of responsibility. That's one of the lines. And so I think it's, it's not disconnected from, the kind of ministry I do in church. I'm just praying and blessing those same things over my children.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you said you started this when your son was one and now he's 12. So you've been doing this for a long time. And I'm sure, you know, your book launches today. I'm sure your kids know about that. And, you know, it seems like they're maybe still young enough. That's still a cool thing, you know, but how is your. How have your how has it been to watch your kids grow? How have they been a part of this, of sharing this, this blessing that you've been sharing in your family? What is it like to share that with your family, with the world?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, it's really fun. You know, and there's even inside of the book, there's little Easter eggs that only, you know, probably my kids would notice. you know, like my, my daughter has really curly hair, so the girl on the COVID has really curl and she loves, pigs. And so there's a little pig snuggled next to her in the front. So there's, there's little like, just personal elements that people might not catch, but has made it special for my kids. one thing that's interesting too is over time, it's not like every kid I've had is like that. We're doing the same prayer for them every night. Like right now, there's one of my kids, she's 8, and she asked for the body prayer. She calls it the body prayer. she asks for that every night, whereas the others are less interested. One even tells me not to do it, so that happens too. but yeah, my 8 year old, she loves and she asks for it and she's got it basically memorized. so yeah, it's really special for, for us to be able to share that with the rest of the world.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Solomon, what's your own heritage of faith? How did you come to know the Lord?
Solomon Rexius's faith journey and the origin of his family's bedtime blessing tradition
What was it like in your family growing up? Are these traditions that were instilled in you? Are they traditions that are new? What has your journey been like?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I, I grew up in a Christian environment. My grandpa was a church planter, actually in the same city where I am now about 60 years ago. so I was blessed to have a really great Christian, influence growing up. But we didn't really have bedtime routines, or at least not in the years I can remember, you know, so if we did have them, they probably stopped when I was younger. so this didn't come from that. A lot of other things about my faith and my parenting directly did come from my own parents and grandparents, but this was something that just kind of came out of, I don't know, my, I guess just. It sounds bad to say my own creativity, but I was just trying to think through a way, like you had mentioned, just a simple, short, fun and repeatable thing I can do each night. So that's kind of where this came from. but yeah, on a personal level, you know, believing in Jesus is something for me that happened at a really young age. I remember praying with my mom to receive Christ, really young. I got baptized when I was 12. so Jesus has always been part of my life. Hasn't always been easy. I haven't always had just a perfect straight line sort of walk. But, Jesus has always been part of my life.
Encouraging listeners to share the gospel through unique traditions and understanding family pressures
Dr. Jessica Peck: It's beautiful to see that, to see that heritage of faith. And I know there's many of our listeners who share that, and it's encouraging to see that. Yeah, you can, you can have different traditions. You may have grown up in a Christian home, but you have different traditions, and God blesses you with different gifts and creativity and talents to be able to share the gospel. And I think that's a beautiful way. And I know we have a lot of listeners who are thinking, man, I'm starting from scratch. Like, I did not grow up in this. And. And, I'm just trying to find my way forward. And there's so much encouragement that we can find in just the obedience of other believers. You know, just saying, hey, I wanted to convey to my kids every day that God loves, loves them. We did that at bedtime, and then now you're sharing that with the world. That's really beautiful. What tips do you have for families? I know you're a church planter, you're a pastor, and you pastor families, and you're seeing things that families are going through. I feel like, I always say that. I feel like pastors, ministers, and healthcare providers are really kind of the same because we kind of tend to see people's, you know, behind closed doors a little bit more. We see the things that are really going on. We, we are in opportunities to see what's behind the social media facade. What do you think is going on with families today?
Addressing family pressures like busyness and screens with the power of bedtime blessings
What are the pressures that are facing them? And how could having the simple point of connection help with some of those pressures?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I mean, you've kind of hinted at a couple of them. There's busyness, and that's one thing that puts pressure on, you know, having a great family evening routine. Busyness is going to interrupt that. There are screens, and then there's also, I think, just like a pressure to perform. And I think the prayer of blessing directly challenges each of those. It's not a screen thing. it's quick. So even if you're busy, no excuse, you can still do it. And, it's about grace. It's about who you are. It's not about what you've accomplished. You know, even at school, my kids are constantly. They're getting compared. Maybe teachers are grading them, how well they do on things. And so I kind of want to. And there's nothing wrong with that, by the way. but the last thing I want them to hear is not about their performance and if they measured up today or not. I don't want the last thing to be a screen either. I want it to be a personal, relational, tangible connection that tells them who they are because God says that's who they are, not because they earned it. even if they didn't earn it, this is. This. This is who you are. And so that's partly why I, like to do the blessing, because I think it challenges some of the pressures that they face all day long.
Calling dads to lead in bedtime routines and spiritual connection with their children
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, let me say something a little bit controversial, and you can respond to it and see what you think. But, you know, when I look at families and they're getting ready for bed, a lot of times, again, I know, don't come at me. Don't be mad. But a lot of times it feels like moms carry the weight of that bedtime routine, like moms are usually doing the most of. And I know there's some dads out there who do great work at night. And so I'm not trying to discount you, but where do you see. Where would you call dads to lead in this area? Because sometimes it can. You just feel like, oh, it's. You just wait for it to happen organically, or you go to church and you wait for, you know, that to be there, to be some kind of structure to lead discipleship and. And blessing your children or just talking to them about spiritual things. How and where would you call dads to step into a leadership role in that bedtime space where they can connect with their children?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I mean, the way it works in our home and everybody's got to figure this out on their own. Right. But we m. My wife and I, in a sense, we both take the lead. We both have a personal connection with each of our four kids every night. And so she, you know, has a thing she does, you know, a prayer that she's going to pray or a question she's going to answer. And then I come in afterwards and I do my thing. And like, with one of my kids, we play. We play, a little bit of wordle before bedtime, and then we go into the prayer time and all that. And so I guess I feel like this is a great place for fathers to step in and a really important thing, you know, I think of the Lord's Prayer, Our Father in Heaven. And it's really important, I think, for also earthly fathers to, to step into their role as, you know, spiritual providers for their family. And gosh, that bedtime like you've talked about, it's such a valuable and like, sensitive in the right way time, that I just, I would highly encourage every father to step into that moment. even if they're there, even if the mom is also doing something, it's like that. Let's step into that, let's pray something, let's encourage our kids with something. Let's even recite Psalm 23. Something stepped into that spiritual moment.
The achievability of bedtime connection for dads and the value of physical presence with children
Dr. Jessica Peck: I think that's so encouraging because that is doable. That is something that's achievable. That's something that every dad could do. You're not saying, okay, you know, lead A, a 12 step, 90 minute Bible study at night and, you know, pray about all the things and, you know, do everything. But just what is the one simple, repeatable practice that you are leading your family in for a point of connection, A connection to each other and a connection back to God. And just like you, Solomon, I'm a mom of, I'm a mom of four. I'm a parent of four. And let me tell you, tugging them in at night, like, especially during those years where they were younger, like toddler preschool, but even in high school, I mean, it's gonna take me a good hour at least. And sometimes, you know, something is going to derail us, but I want that one on one time with each kid, you know, where I'm going in. Having a connection. I think it's so important too, even, even to have that physical connection in, in the house, because so often we're digitally siloed. You know, you can even, you can use your, I call her she who Shall Not Be Named, because I don't want to set off everybody's assistant that their virtual assistant in their house, you know, But Alexa is what I'm talking about. You can use that to make an announcement and tell everybody good night. You don't even have to lay eyes on them. But there's something really special about being with them in their safe space, kneeling beside their bed, putting your hand on their forehead, praying for them, having that connection and that you can see, like, okay, oh, you're working on this project, or, oh, you have this book that's open on your, on your nightstand, or, you know, oh, like this looks like, your Room is, Is a train wreck. Like, clearly things are going really fast or, hey, you really cleaned it up today. There's a lot of opportunities for points of connection just in that, in that physical proximity. Is that something that you have found in your bedtime routine with your family self. Woman?
The significance of bedtime questions and the importance of bringing God into the conversation
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, definitely. It's. I can't, can't delegate out that bedtime to. What'd you call her? She who Shall Not Be.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes.
Solomon Rexius: I just find that, you know, sometimes during family devotions, because we do that too. Not every night, but, you know, once or twice a week we'll do family devotions. And sometimes it's. Sometimes that goes well, and sometimes it's crickets, you know, and it's just hard to get any of them. But then we're fighting time that, yeah, they. At, that time, they all become like philosophers and they're asking these big questions, and I don't know if their guard is down or if it's maybe heightened fear because now it's dark out. So now they're thinking about things. But I just find the best questions come out at night. And therefore, that's in a really important time to bring God into the picture. Okay, what does the Bible say? How are we going to pray for you? How can I, I. How can I help? How can I make sure that the last thing you hear is. Is true and positive and sets your eyes on Christ? And so, yeah, I definitely agree that that nighttime physical presence in the room is just, Yeah, can't beat it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, when we come back, Solomon, I want to ask you about how your family is handling screen time. This is one of the most common questions that I get, and especially when we see with Gen Alpha. At the beginning of the show, I said, said that's the statistic that I saw, that a kid born in 2025 is going to spend 21,000 hours of their life on a screen.
The challenge of screen time for children and the power of parental voice in shaping identity
And so often we see screens as a part of that bedtime routine. And I'm not saying that you have to go, you know, completely like cold turkey and you have to have no screens, but there should be some routine, some moment of connection before you go to bed that does not involve a screen. And, you know, when I think about you speaking into your children's lives, Solomon, and the other parents that are doing that as well, we. One of the realities is that our kids are being spoken to constantly. They have no shortage of voices in their head. We have teachers who are speaking into their lives, friends, coaches, social media, algorithms, AI Even now, culture is really writing a very powerful narrative. And some of those messages are really confusing. Some of them are harmless, but they're not helpful. And some of them are harmful. And we can't control every message that our kids are going to encounter. When we live in this culture. That's 24 7. But we can intentionally make sure that our voice is the one that they are hearing most consistently and that our voice is pointing them back to the truth of scripture. And Solomon, you your book. A bedtime blessing from head to toe for. For littles or even not so littles. Let's be real. Who doesn't even love Sometimes I need to hear a, Jesus loves me. It's that kind of day. We need those kinds of things. And I thank you for giving parents a tangible way to have that blessing. When we come back, we'll talk about screens and routines. We'll be right back with Solomon Rexius. See you on the other side of this break.
Discover the story of the cultural warrior Don Wildmon
During the Christmas season of 1976, I sat down one night to watch television.
: One man saw the battle coming. If we lose this cultural war, we're going to have a hedonistic, humanistic society.
: And he chose to stand and fight. If you will not respect our beliefs, then you will respect our money and we'll spend it with somebody else. Reverend Wildmon. Reverend Wildmon. The Reverend Donald Wildmon.
: Discover the story of the culture warrior Don Wildmon and how he went head to head with Hollywood playboy, the homosexual agenda, and the Disney empire. Things were changing and many people just sort of acclimated to it. And Don Wildmon didn't. They thought, I think that they could just crush him.
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When We Pray by Tauren Wells: People hurting people broken, beating down and feeling hopeless Wonder if it's gonna always be this way we'll speak up for the captive show some love Love and heal A past finds the wounds we think will never go away but what if we could be a people on our knees as one before the king Cuz we believe hey. All the world starts changing when the church stops praying strong will start to break.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is when we pray by Tauren wells and when we pray, God hears us. God honors our prayers. And now he may not answer them the way that you are wanting him to answer, but he's going to answer in a way that is always for your good and for his glory. We're talking about Bedtime prayers and bedtime routines.
The profound impact of repeated blessings and consistent rhythms in forming children's identity
I'm talking with dad of four husband and pastor Solomon Rexius. Yes, to me I still can't get over it. Sounds like you're, you should, you should just be a real character in Gladiator. I think your name is amazing. But he has written a book called Bedtime Blessing. A Bedtime blessing from head to toe. It's a board book and it's just a simple way to engage with your kids. Now there are a lot of grandparents listening and you know one of the best ways to use screen time for grandparents is face to face interaction. So even if you have littles who don't live near you, hey, call and read them a book over the phone at night. It's a great way to connect and a great way to build relationship and increase their iq. That's the hope anyway. And the idea of repetition is so important because we're often looking for that one conversation that's just going to change everything. That one moment where our children make a profession of faith. But we're looking for that kind of made for TV moment, that one devotional that just kind of is a breakthrough and changes everything or the sermon that you remember that seems like it's a changing point and those things can come. It may be that one parenting moment that you have as a high water moment, but really children are formed over time. It is in the mundane things of everyday life that God cements as miraculous in your legacy as a parent. They are formed not by that one conversation, but by what they hear repeatedly, what they experience consistently, what becomes familiar in the rhythms of their home. And one of the most beautiful things that a parent can give their child is just the a simple repeated blessing, a repeated assurance, you are loved, you belong. God made you with a purpose. You are made in God's image. God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you. Your identity is set in Christ. Something you have received from Christ, not something you need to create. And that can be something that is done just every night before they go to bed.
Practically dealing with family busyness and screen time by providing compelling alternatives
Because hopefully every family's eventually, every kid is eventually going to go to bed every night and, and it's just already a built in point for connection. So Solomon, let's talk a little bit practically because we know that families are really busy and mine is no exception. It's really hard cause I'm thinking about all the things that we gotta do. I gotta get them to the practices or even the church events. Sometimes they're well intended. I'm trying to have a family dinner together and then by the time we get to that bedtime, everybody's exhausted and it just tends to go to screen time. How have you dealt with that as a dad?
Solomon Rexius: Well, I think we're all learning. You know, I feel like the, the personal screens is still a pretty novel new thing and so we're all still kind of learning. I don't know that anybody is crushing it. I also know that like you just mentioned, not all screen time is bad sometimes. My kids have learned some amazing things on screens. I didn't even know what's happening or the calls with grandparents. And so I'm not one to say, you know, zero screens. Although a couple of our kids right now are on a screen fast because, and maybe that's the point though, because the screens are going to affect different kids differently. And so we have some standardized rules for our family about, you know, time limits and which apps, you know, they can have and all that. But then sometimes it's even a little more personalized. Like we can tell you need a few days or even a few weeks, break from your, you know, personal. So that's one thing I would say. Not all screens are bad. Different kids are going to probably have different, levels of like, how much they can interact with it before it really, is not helpful for them. The one thing I've noticed too with screens is like, if you enforce a hard screen time role, which you should have some, you know, but like, if you enforce it, be ready to pay the price on it. Like maybe, okay, like right now I just told you that our two, two of our girls don't have their screen, but our living room is just filled with Legos. It is a Lego tornado.
Dr. Jessica Peck: What's your face?
Solomon Rexius: Well, exactly. And I'm like, you know what? But that's okay, you know, because I can't, I can't, I don't know, I can't do it all. So it while, they're on the screen fast, I'm just going to be a little more okay with the messy living room. And it's great they're building stuff, the Legos. That's great. So I think sometimes when we enforce the rul, we got to be ready for the other side of it.
The concept of a screen fast and its benefits for family connection and discipline
Whether that's living room or taking, a little extra time to help guide them into something fun, to help get them started on the craft or get them started on the game outside. and then I think where this all circles back to is just so much of what they're hearing on screens. I, as much as we try to control, I can't control all of it. But that's why, again, I think the last thing they hear each night really does matter because I, I don't know what their teachers told them, I don't know what their friends told them. I don't know what they, you know, saw on some, movie or whatever, but I can control the last thing that they hear. And I want it to be words of blessing. So that, that's just a few of my thoughts around screen time. I'm not an expert on that one either. But we're, we're learning and finding that each kid kind of has different proclivities to it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I had a sign in my house at one point that said, creativity is messy and my kids are very creative because it's so true. I mean, I, I had my kids, Solomon, because I was that, you know, mom, that it wasn't ever that we said, oh, you can't, you know, we have these really strict limits on screen time or you can't play video games. I think we just always were really intentional in providing other alternatives and making those alternatives more compelling and more fun. But it did end up in, you know, my boys, putting a hundred paper plates on the wall with gum one one day for Nerf gun practice. That was, that was great. Thanks. Thanks to my mother in law who gave them gum. But you know, that that's a small price to pay for and for them to have some creativity and bonding and playing together. Now I want to go back to something that you said. You called it a screen fast. I think that's really a great idea because that's one of the things that we do in positive parenting is you don't want to make it like, oh, I'm going to punish limitation. You're grounded, you have no screen. But making it a positive guardrail, a positive, you know, limitation in their life, a positive boundary to say, hey, we need to put some boundaries in place that are going to better support you for success. Calling it a screen fast. I think that is a great way to go. Can you tell me more about that?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I think the first one we did was, yeah, A couple years ago and it was a two week thing right when school was done. Because I know it's like, school's over, time to veg out on your, your iPad or whatever. And we're like, we're not doing that.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And so August.
Solomon Rexius: Anyway, yeah, we all just did a personal screen fast. And, that was really helpful, especially because we were in it together. And, you know, then we're able to describe and explain what fasting is. You know, that it's in the Bible. It's where you intentionally don't do something, usually food, but it can be other things, to set aside time for other things, prayer. And, you know, of course, in this situation, time with each other or doing things outside. And so that's kind of how we got started. Now, to be clear, sometimes it is punishment. And so that's different. But sometimes it's more of a family thing. Like, hey, we, as a family, we're going to fast from screens for these days or these weeks. And that's been a good little tradition. We've come back to it several times, over the last few years. Years.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know what I love about that? I don't even think that's punishment, Solomon. I think that's discipline. And that's in a pot. That's. You're teaching them also to be self disciplined. Because if you're recognizing the cues when, okay, we need a fast here, then they're going to learn to take that on their own and they're going to say, all right, I need a fast. And I do see young people. I, when I say young people, I feel like I'm really old. Like, you know, older teenagers and college kids. Those, those youngins there. I do see them, them intentionally taking fast from social media or removing that app from their phone. I think they're doing better, actually, than Gen X, millennials, baby boomers are, because we kind of just have no limits. But I think that's a really great, just way to frame it, is that sometimes we need a screen fast. What I want to ask you, Solomon, is, you know, in this book that you have written, the. A, bedtime blessing from head to toe, what is it that you hope that this book will do? Going out into the world? What is the vision that God has given you for the help and hope that it can be for people?
Solomon Rexius: yeah, I, you know, I think that almost the first thing that comes to mind is like, I hope, if nothing else, it creates a moment of warmth between parent and child. I hope it does more than that, but I have found that it is that first. I think it gives. Gives kids those words of life that they need after a long day of hearing all sorts of different things. I'm sure it gives them clear and true words of life to, to end their day and to drift off into sleep. I think it gives, and I hope it gives parents language who, who aren't sure what to pray. I mean, that's a lot of times how I feel. I don't always know what to pray. And so having this routine gives me. Me words to pray that are valuable and meaningful and I can keep coming back to. So I hope, I hope it does a number of things like it blesses the kid, it blesses the parent. It, you know, helps and enhances that relationship between parent and child. And really the goal of this whole thing, it's. It's not about creating a perfect bedtime routine. It's just. It's using these ordinary moments to speak biblical truth over your kids. And so my hope is that eventually people don't even need the book that they, it spurs on their own sort of creativity, where they get to, to create their own sort of family tradition and how they want to end their day. But it's a starting point for parents who are maybe just getting started with their bedtime routines.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It is a starting point and it takes being intentional.
The importance of parental leadership in home connection and the elements of a bedtime blessing
That's the thing. I think so often we just have become so apathetic in today's world, and we just, we have so much programming around us that we just kind of expect that programming to do it. Like we're going to listen to a podcast or go to church and listen to a sermon, or we're going to participate in a life group or Sunday school class. And those things are all great. Don't get me wrong. Those are all really great. But I think it has really de. Incentivized parents from taking that leadership role in their own home and saying like, okay, I've gotta make sure that I am the one who is leading these points of connection. And it doesn't have to be really complicated. It doesn't have to be really long. This is just such a simple point. Can you share more, Solomon, about the, about the blessings that are in the book. You said something thing earlier about the shoulders. Can you tell. Tell us more about the blessing from head to toe?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, well, let me say this too. Some of it, you know, it goes through the whole, body. I think it's 11 body parts. and some of them it's more literal and some of. Some I play with a little bit of like, figurative language too. Like with the shoulders, you know, it's, strengthen their shoulders to carry the weight of responsibility. Now you don't, at least not usually, you don't literally carry responsibility on your shoulders. But trying to teach the Kids like that kind of thing. Whereas when I talk about the arms, it's, you know, give them strength for all the work that you call them to. Now that that's a little bit more actual literal. Like I'm asking for strong arms for whatever God leads you into. but yeah, it kind of goes through. some of them are really short, some are long. Like the, I say, you know, would you strengthen their backbone to stand up against the darkness of this world? we talk about the hands. Open their hands to the needy and the lonely and to anybody who needs a friend. their mouth. That's the one I probably spent the most time trying. What exactly do I want to say? Just words are so powerful and so, I could actually pull up the book right here.
The profound impact of spoken blessings and the role of identity in children's lives
But basically it's, you know, open their mouth to speak words, words of wisdom and blessing and healing, not words that hurt. You know, so in language that, you know, a five, six year old can understand. And then it goes down through the legs. Lord, strengthen their legs to walk through the hills and valleys of life with you and order their footsteps in youn Word and in youn will for all their days. You know, so that's. That's kind of how it goes from all the way from the head down, shoulders down to the top toes.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Solomon, I'm a grown woman who is getting older every day in Gen X, But I can't even tell you what I think I would feel if somebody spoke a blessing like that over me every day. I think it doesn't matter how old you are, just having someone speak that word, a blessing over you is such a blessing. And I, you know, thinking that that is not something that I had when growing up. And I wonder, like, what would that have changed? Did people speak that way over you just to know I love you, I care for you, but I'm just a, reflection of the way that God loves you and God cares for you, and God has all of these hopes and dreams for you and, and has planted them in your heart, I think. And these plans for you. God has a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope in a future. And I think you're speaking that with these blessings, just telling them you are loved, you are known, you were created by God, you are not in this world alone. You are special. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. These are all issues of identity, Solomon. And the world is speaking all kinds of messages. And as parents, we don't have to create our own children's ministry program in our home. It's just a few quiet moments where you put down your phone and sit beside your child and look the minute in the eyes and speak some simple words of truth and blessing and pray and let them go to sleep knowing they are deeply loved, not only by you, but by God who made them. Solomon, thanks for reminding us that bedtime can be one of the most meaningful moments of connection. And as you are reminding us, I pray, over my listeners. The Lord will bless you and keep you. I'll see you right back here tomorrow.
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Thanking our sponsor Preborn and the vital role of ultrasounds in saving babies and mothers lives
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: healthy families here on family radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peek.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends.
The fast-paced modern world and the Gen X generation's upbringing with the clock and latchkey kids
Welcome to my favorite time of day. I'm so happy to get to spend time with you this afternoon. And you know, I feel like we are advancing in the year and we are living. It feels like time is going so fast. I don't know if that's just me getting older. Maybe you're thinking, no, that's not my experience at all. But it seems like maybe when I talk to my friends, to my peers, to people just in the community, it just feels like life moves so fast and we live in a culture where families are constantly competing for one another's attention. I was actually listening to some research today about Gen X, which, you know, I have a propensity for Gen X because I am Gen X. And they said something that really caught my attention. They said Gen X is the first generation that was raised by a clock. That before that they had that, generally speaking, most children had a caregiver within arm's lengths and they got up with the son and went to bed with the son and their caregiver would call them for dinner. But Gen X, the latchkey kid generation, that is when we had a lot of more parents who were working outside the home. Gen X kids were notoriously independent, and they were. Their lives were set by the clock. When it said it was time to go to school, when it said it was time to go home, when the show ended, when, you know, you just. We started to live our lives by the clock. And I've been thinking about that ever since this morning when I heard it. And the truth is, I see that in my own family and my kids are not Gen X. But our kids are moving from school to sports to activities to homework, to bed. And parents are answering emails and finishing work and managing dinner and checking their schedule. And somewhere in the middle of all of that is a constant barrage of screens and notification and social media pulling us to the doom scroll and a thousand other voices competing to tell our children who they are and what matters. And when the day finally winds down, we have the lights go off, or at least they start to go off in the house. And maybe, hopefully, if you've been following along with our Healthy Habits series on Fridays, maybe the devices go outside the bedroom, maybe the house gets quieter. Maybe you start to play a, quiet worship music to signal a change in energy. But for many families, be.
Bedtime as a crucial opportunity for parental connection and building resilience in children's lives
Bedtime is one of those few moments when a child is physically close to a parent and actually has their undivided attention. But here is the tension in that need for attention. I know I face this. I was a mom of four. My kids were born very close together. And by the time we got to the end of the day, I was kind of done myself. I think, just go to bed. You know, please don't ask for four glasses of water. Please don't ask for another stuffed animal. Please don't come and tell me there's a monster in your closet. Please, Mommy, just want some time. But the Lord really convicted me about that and said, you are missing an opportunity. So one of the Things that I had to learn was to find some downtime somewhere in that afternoon and evening rush because I knew that it was during that season. I was working double shifts and I had to find somewhere to take a little break and really gear myself up. Not that, okay, this is. Let me rush to the finish line, get everybody in bed. I might have some me time. I might be actually able to go to sleep because I'm exhausted or get stuff done that I need to get done. I was really intentional about building margin into my day so that my m. Energy shifted and I was ready to meet the moment. I know that if you have been a parent, if you've picked a kid up from school ever, you pick them up from school and you say, how was your day? And you know the answer to what they say? They say, fine. Well, what happened? you know, tell me something about it. Why are you asking, well, me all these questions like it was just a fine day, and yet somehow, if you do it just right, when you go in for. To tuck them in for good night routine, somehow they're ready to read the war and peace of their life. Let me tell you everything. And if you're not ready for that, if you're not looking for that, you might miss it. And research shows that there is something that shifts in their energy at night. They feel safe. They should feel safe in their safe space in their bedroom. And, you know, they. They don't have anywhere to be. It's just a moment just to rest in their hearts, open up for just a little moment. So what if we stop thinking about bedtime simply as the final task of the day? And we started to see it as the golden hour, as a, golden opportunity, as the time when you may build more memories with your kids than at any other time. Because, yes, they're going to remember you being at the soccer game, kind of, you know, they'll say, wait, did you. Did you make those treats for my class? no, I don't really remember that. No. Were you there? You were there at all my games? Yes, I was there at all your games. But there's something that happens in bonding. At the end of the day, there is such an opportunity to reconnect.
The profound impact of sleep on memory processing and the power of feeling safe and loved
There is an opportunity to remind our children that they are deeply loved. There is an opportunity to unwind the mysteries of the universe. There's an opportunity to speak truth over their identity. And as they. They go to bed, their brain starts to get ready to process all of those things. Here's the phenomenal thing about the way that God made sleep. God made our sleep cycles to be restorative. And even when we are asleep. One of the reasons that sleep is so important is, because it changes the way our brain processes, organizes, and stores the memories that we had in that day. Now, some memories are explicit, and I'm, What I mean by that is not, you know, not, not that they were bad. It means that they are very specific. Like you remember an exact time that you were. You remember something, somebody, some, something that somebody said. But a lot of our memories are actually implicit memories. And it means that there's not a specific sequence of events, there's not a specific word that was said that was rem, maybe even not a place. But it's a feeling, it's a sensation. And when you have that feeling of safety, it triggers that pathway in your brain for those implicit memories. And that's where we think, okay, I was safe there, I was loved there. Kind of like the quote, I'm sure you've heard said that, you know, you may not remember what somebody did, but you certainly remember how they made you feel.
Seizing opportunities for deep conversations and connection over screens for healthier relationships
And I really want to encourage you to take that opportunity. If you have kids, and your home at night. And you know what, even if you're not a parent, even if you don't have kids in the house anymore, maybe your kids are grown, it's a great opportunity to connect with your spouse. If you have a spouse or just someone else you love. At the end of the day, when nothing is pressing, there's no, oh, I gotta get to the next thing, oh, I gotta have an appointment. There is such an opportunity to have deep conversations. And if I'm being really honest, one of the tough things is what you're doing at night instead is most of us are attached to a screen. I know, I struggle with it too. And we're scrolling and we're scrolling and we're scrolling. And that's kind of the, the marriage routine now, right? Like, one of you is going to put your phone up before the other ones, and the other one's going to say, hey, can you put your reels on mute? You know, can you before, so I can go to bed? Hey, can you dim your screen so that I can go to bed? And this is not good for us. It is keeping us distracted. And I've seen some statistics coming out, especially about Gen Alpha, saying that a kid born in 2025 is going to spend about 21,000 hours of their life looking at a screen. The average American is scrolling about the height of content on your smartphone, if you were to take all of those times you move your thumb on your phone, it's the height of the Statue of Liberty. And yet we're saying, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't have time to. I didn't have time to talk to you about that. I didn't have time to go back and, and work on that relationship issue. I, I forgot to ask you about how that test went, how that thing went at work. We can no longer have a good excuse for that. We really have such an opportunity to change the way that we are going to bed, the way that we are ending our days. We have an opportunity to point those we love toward the God who created every part of them and is with them as they close their eyes, as they enter the night. And that is going to set them up for success in the way that their brain is processing what happened during the day.
Introducing Solomon Rexius and his book on the spiritual power of bedtime blessings for children
And you're building literal building blocks of resilience inside their brain. So today we're going to talk about the spiritual power of those bedtime blessings and how a simple, repeatable practice can become part of the spiritual formation of our children. My guest next is Solomon Rexius. He is a pastor and a writer from Eugene, Oregon. Solomon graduated from the University of Oregon before pursuing vocational ministry. He earned his Master of Divinity from Western Seminary. He and his wife Lizzie married in 2011. They're now raising four children. And Solomon served as the director of Salt Company in Ames, Iowa for six years before returning to Eugene to Plant Generations Church. And this book that he, that we're talking about today that he wrote has a personal origin story because it grew out of a special prayer and blessing that Solomon developed for his own children. It's something that began within his family and now is something he wants to share with others. Solomon, welcome to the show. We're so glad to have you here.
Solomon Rexius: Thanks for having me, Jessica. I appreciate it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, I want to say this just right off the bat. When I read your name, Solomon Rexius, it feels like you are in straight out of the cast of Gladiator. That is such a good, strong, solid name. Do you have any good story for why you were named, how you got your name? Or are you just cool like that?
Solomon Rexius: You know, it's a big name to live up to because, yeah, first of all, the name Rex just means king, you know, so there you go. Tough start. Big, big expectations. And then, of course, King Solomon, in the Bible, lots of wisdom, king of peace. And, actually, I was named after my great grandpa. And so I'm not the Solomon Rexius, but, yeah, it's a lot to live up to. I actually have a twin brother too, named Caleb. Another strong biblical name.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And that is a great, great title. Great name on the front of the book, but great story behind the story. Solomon, how did you come to write this book? Tell us about the story and your family that led to the inspiration for this book.
Developing bedtime blessings from simple prayers to a full body blessing for children
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I, you know, I have four kids. I'm also one of four kids. I had great parents. I'm doing my best with parenting. I don't claim to be an expert on parenting, but I did feel like there was an opportunity with some of the nighttime opportunities. So it really started simply. you know, we had our son back in 2014. He's 12 now, but it was around when he was about 1. I remember seeing that thing. I think I even saw it as. This is going to sound so weird, but, you know, those emojis, it's like the three wise monkeys. They hear no evil, speak no evil. I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. You know how they cover. So then I just. One night I just prayed my son, you know, and I think it started almost that simply, but I was like, I don't want to just use the word evil so much right before bedtime. Let's change it up a little bit. So then it was like, you know, lord, help him to see your beauty and the best in others and to look away from impurity, but not from injustice. You know, that's kind of where it started. And then I was like, well, I can do more than just the eyes. Like, you know, I want his mind to be clear and to have thoughts that are helpful and move the world forward. So then that's kind of how it started. It started with just a few, like, sayings and then became into a full kind of, blessing over the entire body.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I absolutely love it because this is the hope in the world today. Honestly, it is. Because I think parents really feel like it's gotta be something more complex. I mean, you even just said, I'm not an expert in parenting, but what you're doing is amazing. And God has made it ridiculously simple for us when it. When we get down to it, it's just all about building connections. It's about apologizing when we get it wrong. But kids thrive in consistency. That's one of the biggest things that we get. Give can give them. Not rigidity, not a rigid schedule that, you know, they're going to bed at exact they're going to brush their teeth at 8:03 and then we're going to turn off the light at 8:06 and a half. You know, it's not that, but just the act of speaking that blessing over your son, over your children, every single night, that is something that God is going to bless.
Spiritual formation through repeated small actions and the power of blessings for children
That is a little tiny mustard seed that he is going to take and grow it into a mighty tree. It will be a mighty mountain because your children will have that imprinted on their heart and their mind and their soul. And it is just that simple. I encourage people to come up with that blessing for the nighttime and also for the morning. There's a certain blessing that you can just say as your kids walk out the door. One of mine is really simple. May you walk with confidence as a man of integrity. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. Speaking that blessing is a really powerful opportunity. And I have some more questions for you about this. Because spiritual formation is happening through those small things that are repeated faithfully. And it may be sitting beside their bed at night, just putting your hand on their shoulder and praying a prayer, a blessing, just reminding them you are loved, you are God's creation. God is with you. Those ordinary moments can grow extraordinary faith. Be right back with more from Solomon Rexius.
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Pray by Sanctus Real: I bow my head to pray way. I don't know what to say I'm not sure how to fix the things I'm dealing with I'm in a desperate place I need to share the weight But I just don't know how to let it all pour out and though I'm silent my heart is crying Cause I was made m to come to you so I pray God, I need you more than words can say right here in this moment you know my heart you know my need you know every part of me so even if it's just to speak your name I'm going to pray. I failed to find the time.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Pray by Sanctus Real and that is sometimes the the best. It's always a good thing to do and it is the best thing that we can do for our kids. And one of the great things that I'm encouraging you to do for your kids is to have a bedtime blessing, have a bedtime routine, really rethink that.
The importance of bedtime connection and Solomon Rexius's book A Bedtime Blessing from Head to Toe
You don't want to just crash and burn at the end of the day and everybody kind of just skates into their bed and just falls there. You really want to have a moment of connection. Now, this doesn't have to be really elaborate. It doesn't have to be really fancy. It doesn't have to be really long or theological. It's just a simple moment of connection. And I'm talking today to father of four, husband Pastor Solomon Rexius. He's written a board book to help parents to start this routine. It's called A Bedtime Blessing from Head to Toe. And this is, it just encourages me so much, honestly, Solomon, to see a dad who is invested in blessing his children. Because we know this is a very biblical concept. Can you talk about a little bit of your perspective as pastor and how that informed what you wanted to bring into your family as this biblical concept of blessing?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I mean, I think back to the blessing, and I think it's Leviticus 6, you know, or numbers 6, where, you know, Aaron blesses all the Levites There's just something powerful about taking a moment, whether that's one person in front of you or a whole community, a whole city, and be like, here's, here's what God wants for you. And in the form of a prayer, I think it's really powerful. And so even there's elements of this prayer that are, you know, you can tell it was created for a child. But sometimes when my wife and I pray it, like I need somebody to pray that over me, you know, that's not my six year old. I need that from my eyes and my mind and my shoulder. Lord, give strength to my shoulders to carry the weight of responsibility. That's one of the lines. And so I think it's, it's not disconnected from, the kind of ministry I do in church. I'm just praying and blessing those same things over my children.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you said you started this when your son was one and now he's 12. So you've been doing this for a long time. And I'm sure, you know, your book launches today. I'm sure your kids know about that. And, you know, it seems like they're maybe still young enough. That's still a cool thing, you know, but how is your. How have your how has it been to watch your kids grow? How have they been a part of this, of sharing this, this blessing that you've been sharing in your family? What is it like to share that with your family, with the world?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, it's really fun. You know, and there's even inside of the book, there's little Easter eggs that only, you know, probably my kids would notice. you know, like my, my daughter has really curly hair, so the girl on the COVID has really curl and she loves, pigs. And so there's a little pig snuggled next to her in the front. So there's, there's little like, just personal elements that people might not catch, but has made it special for my kids. one thing that's interesting too is over time, it's not like every kid I've had is like that. We're doing the same prayer for them every night. Like right now, there's one of my kids, she's 8, and she asked for the body prayer. She calls it the body prayer. she asks for that every night, whereas the others are less interested. One even tells me not to do it, so that happens too. but yeah, my 8 year old, she loves and she asks for it and she's got it basically memorized. so yeah, it's really special for, for us to be able to share that with the rest of the world.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Solomon, what's your own heritage of faith? How did you come to know the Lord?
Solomon Rexius's faith journey and the origin of his family's bedtime blessing tradition
What was it like in your family growing up? Are these traditions that were instilled in you? Are they traditions that are new? What has your journey been like?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I, I grew up in a Christian environment. My grandpa was a church planter, actually in the same city where I am now about 60 years ago. so I was blessed to have a really great Christian, influence growing up. But we didn't really have bedtime routines, or at least not in the years I can remember, you know, so if we did have them, they probably stopped when I was younger. so this didn't come from that. A lot of other things about my faith and my parenting directly did come from my own parents and grandparents, but this was something that just kind of came out of, I don't know, my, I guess just. It sounds bad to say my own creativity, but I was just trying to think through a way, like you had mentioned, just a simple, short, fun and repeatable thing I can do each night. So that's kind of where this came from. but yeah, on a personal level, you know, believing in Jesus is something for me that happened at a really young age. I remember praying with my mom to receive Christ, really young. I got baptized when I was 12. so Jesus has always been part of my life. Hasn't always been easy. I haven't always had just a perfect straight line sort of walk. But, Jesus has always been part of my life.
Encouraging listeners to share the gospel through unique traditions and understanding family pressures
Dr. Jessica Peck: It's beautiful to see that, to see that heritage of faith. And I know there's many of our listeners who share that, and it's encouraging to see that. Yeah, you can, you can have different traditions. You may have grown up in a Christian home, but you have different traditions, and God blesses you with different gifts and creativity and talents to be able to share the gospel. And I think that's a beautiful way. And I know we have a lot of listeners who are thinking, man, I'm starting from scratch. Like, I did not grow up in this. And. And, I'm just trying to find my way forward. And there's so much encouragement that we can find in just the obedience of other believers. You know, just saying, hey, I wanted to convey to my kids every day that God loves, loves them. We did that at bedtime, and then now you're sharing that with the world. That's really beautiful. What tips do you have for families? I know you're a church planter, you're a pastor, and you pastor families, and you're seeing things that families are going through. I feel like, I always say that. I feel like pastors, ministers, and healthcare providers are really kind of the same because we kind of tend to see people's, you know, behind closed doors a little bit more. We see the things that are really going on. We, we are in opportunities to see what's behind the social media facade. What do you think is going on with families today?
Addressing family pressures like busyness and screens with the power of bedtime blessings
What are the pressures that are facing them? And how could having the simple point of connection help with some of those pressures?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I mean, you've kind of hinted at a couple of them. There's busyness, and that's one thing that puts pressure on, you know, having a great family evening routine. Busyness is going to interrupt that. There are screens, and then there's also, I think, just like a pressure to perform. And I think the prayer of blessing directly challenges each of those. It's not a screen thing. it's quick. So even if you're busy, no excuse, you can still do it. And, it's about grace. It's about who you are. It's not about what you've accomplished. You know, even at school, my kids are constantly. They're getting compared. Maybe teachers are grading them, how well they do on things. And so I kind of want to. And there's nothing wrong with that, by the way. but the last thing I want them to hear is not about their performance and if they measured up today or not. I don't want the last thing to be a screen either. I want it to be a personal, relational, tangible connection that tells them who they are because God says that's who they are, not because they earned it. even if they didn't earn it, this is. This. This is who you are. And so that's partly why I, like to do the blessing, because I think it challenges some of the pressures that they face all day long.
Calling dads to lead in bedtime routines and spiritual connection with their children
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, let me say something a little bit controversial, and you can respond to it and see what you think. But, you know, when I look at families and they're getting ready for bed, a lot of times, again, I know, don't come at me. Don't be mad. But a lot of times it feels like moms carry the weight of that bedtime routine, like moms are usually doing the most of. And I know there's some dads out there who do great work at night. And so I'm not trying to discount you, but where do you see. Where would you call dads to lead in this area? Because sometimes it can. You just feel like, oh, it's. You just wait for it to happen organically, or you go to church and you wait for, you know, that to be there, to be some kind of structure to lead discipleship and. And blessing your children or just talking to them about spiritual things. How and where would you call dads to step into a leadership role in that bedtime space where they can connect with their children?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I mean, the way it works in our home and everybody's got to figure this out on their own. Right. But we m. My wife and I, in a sense, we both take the lead. We both have a personal connection with each of our four kids every night. And so she, you know, has a thing she does, you know, a prayer that she's going to pray or a question she's going to answer. And then I come in afterwards and I do my thing. And like, with one of my kids, we play. We play, a little bit of wordle before bedtime, and then we go into the prayer time and all that. And so I guess I feel like this is a great place for fathers to step in and a really important thing, you know, I think of the Lord's Prayer, Our Father in Heaven. And it's really important, I think, for also earthly fathers to, to step into their role as, you know, spiritual providers for their family. And gosh, that bedtime like you've talked about, it's such a valuable and like, sensitive in the right way time, that I just, I would highly encourage every father to step into that moment. even if they're there, even if the mom is also doing something, it's like that. Let's step into that, let's pray something, let's encourage our kids with something. Let's even recite Psalm 23. Something stepped into that spiritual moment.
The achievability of bedtime connection for dads and the value of physical presence with children
Dr. Jessica Peck: I think that's so encouraging because that is doable. That is something that's achievable. That's something that every dad could do. You're not saying, okay, you know, lead A, a 12 step, 90 minute Bible study at night and, you know, pray about all the things and, you know, do everything. But just what is the one simple, repeatable practice that you are leading your family in for a point of connection, A connection to each other and a connection back to God. And just like you, Solomon, I'm a mom of, I'm a mom of four. I'm a parent of four. And let me tell you, tugging them in at night, like, especially during those years where they were younger, like toddler preschool, but even in high school, I mean, it's gonna take me a good hour at least. And sometimes, you know, something is going to derail us, but I want that one on one time with each kid, you know, where I'm going in. Having a connection. I think it's so important too, even, even to have that physical connection in, in the house, because so often we're digitally siloed. You know, you can even, you can use your, I call her she who Shall Not Be Named, because I don't want to set off everybody's assistant that their virtual assistant in their house, you know, But Alexa is what I'm talking about. You can use that to make an announcement and tell everybody good night. You don't even have to lay eyes on them. But there's something really special about being with them in their safe space, kneeling beside their bed, putting your hand on their forehead, praying for them, having that connection and that you can see, like, okay, oh, you're working on this project, or, oh, you have this book that's open on your, on your nightstand, or, you know, oh, like this looks like, your Room is, Is a train wreck. Like, clearly things are going really fast or, hey, you really cleaned it up today. There's a lot of opportunities for points of connection just in that, in that physical proximity. Is that something that you have found in your bedtime routine with your family self. Woman?
The significance of bedtime questions and the importance of bringing God into the conversation
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, definitely. It's. I can't, can't delegate out that bedtime to. What'd you call her? She who Shall Not Be.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes.
Solomon Rexius: I just find that, you know, sometimes during family devotions, because we do that too. Not every night, but, you know, once or twice a week we'll do family devotions. And sometimes it's. Sometimes that goes well, and sometimes it's crickets, you know, and it's just hard to get any of them. But then we're fighting time that, yeah, they. At, that time, they all become like philosophers and they're asking these big questions, and I don't know if their guard is down or if it's maybe heightened fear because now it's dark out. So now they're thinking about things. But I just find the best questions come out at night. And therefore, that's in a really important time to bring God into the picture. Okay, what does the Bible say? How are we going to pray for you? How can I, I. How can I help? How can I make sure that the last thing you hear is. Is true and positive and sets your eyes on Christ? And so, yeah, I definitely agree that that nighttime physical presence in the room is just, Yeah, can't beat it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, when we come back, Solomon, I want to ask you about how your family is handling screen time. This is one of the most common questions that I get, and especially when we see with Gen Alpha. At the beginning of the show, I said, said that's the statistic that I saw, that a kid born in 2025 is going to spend 21,000 hours of their life on a screen.
The challenge of screen time for children and the power of parental voice in shaping identity
And so often we see screens as a part of that bedtime routine. And I'm not saying that you have to go, you know, completely like cold turkey and you have to have no screens, but there should be some routine, some moment of connection before you go to bed that does not involve a screen. And, you know, when I think about you speaking into your children's lives, Solomon, and the other parents that are doing that as well, we. One of the realities is that our kids are being spoken to constantly. They have no shortage of voices in their head. We have teachers who are speaking into their lives, friends, coaches, social media, algorithms, AI Even now, culture is really writing a very powerful narrative. And some of those messages are really confusing. Some of them are harmless, but they're not helpful. And some of them are harmful. And we can't control every message that our kids are going to encounter. When we live in this culture. That's 24 7. But we can intentionally make sure that our voice is the one that they are hearing most consistently and that our voice is pointing them back to the truth of scripture. And Solomon, you your book. A bedtime blessing from head to toe for. For littles or even not so littles. Let's be real. Who doesn't even love Sometimes I need to hear a, Jesus loves me. It's that kind of day. We need those kinds of things. And I thank you for giving parents a tangible way to have that blessing. When we come back, we'll talk about screens and routines. We'll be right back with Solomon Rexius. See you on the other side of this break.
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When We Pray by Tauren Wells: People hurting people broken, beating down and feeling hopeless Wonder if it's gonna always be this way we'll speak up for the captive show some love Love and heal A past finds the wounds we think will never go away but what if we could be a people on our knees as one before the king Cuz we believe hey. All the world starts changing when the church stops praying strong will start to break.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is when we pray by Tauren wells and when we pray, God hears us. God honors our prayers. And now he may not answer them the way that you are wanting him to answer, but he's going to answer in a way that is always for your good and for his glory. We're talking about Bedtime prayers and bedtime routines.
The profound impact of repeated blessings and consistent rhythms in forming children's identity
I'm talking with dad of four husband and pastor Solomon Rexius. Yes, to me I still can't get over it. Sounds like you're, you should, you should just be a real character in Gladiator. I think your name is amazing. But he has written a book called Bedtime Blessing. A Bedtime blessing from head to toe. It's a board book and it's just a simple way to engage with your kids. Now there are a lot of grandparents listening and you know one of the best ways to use screen time for grandparents is face to face interaction. So even if you have littles who don't live near you, hey, call and read them a book over the phone at night. It's a great way to connect and a great way to build relationship and increase their iq. That's the hope anyway. And the idea of repetition is so important because we're often looking for that one conversation that's just going to change everything. That one moment where our children make a profession of faith. But we're looking for that kind of made for TV moment, that one devotional that just kind of is a breakthrough and changes everything or the sermon that you remember that seems like it's a changing point and those things can come. It may be that one parenting moment that you have as a high water moment, but really children are formed over time. It is in the mundane things of everyday life that God cements as miraculous in your legacy as a parent. They are formed not by that one conversation, but by what they hear repeatedly, what they experience consistently, what becomes familiar in the rhythms of their home. And one of the most beautiful things that a parent can give their child is just the a simple repeated blessing, a repeated assurance, you are loved, you belong. God made you with a purpose. You are made in God's image. God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you. Your identity is set in Christ. Something you have received from Christ, not something you need to create. And that can be something that is done just every night before they go to bed.
Practically dealing with family busyness and screen time by providing compelling alternatives
Because hopefully every family's eventually, every kid is eventually going to go to bed every night and, and it's just already a built in point for connection. So Solomon, let's talk a little bit practically because we know that families are really busy and mine is no exception. It's really hard cause I'm thinking about all the things that we gotta do. I gotta get them to the practices or even the church events. Sometimes they're well intended. I'm trying to have a family dinner together and then by the time we get to that bedtime, everybody's exhausted and it just tends to go to screen time. How have you dealt with that as a dad?
Solomon Rexius: Well, I think we're all learning. You know, I feel like the, the personal screens is still a pretty novel new thing and so we're all still kind of learning. I don't know that anybody is crushing it. I also know that like you just mentioned, not all screen time is bad sometimes. My kids have learned some amazing things on screens. I didn't even know what's happening or the calls with grandparents. And so I'm not one to say, you know, zero screens. Although a couple of our kids right now are on a screen fast because, and maybe that's the point though, because the screens are going to affect different kids differently. And so we have some standardized rules for our family about, you know, time limits and which apps, you know, they can have and all that. But then sometimes it's even a little more personalized. Like we can tell you need a few days or even a few weeks, break from your, you know, personal. So that's one thing I would say. Not all screens are bad. Different kids are going to probably have different, levels of like, how much they can interact with it before it really, is not helpful for them. The one thing I've noticed too with screens is like, if you enforce a hard screen time role, which you should have some, you know, but like, if you enforce it, be ready to pay the price on it. Like maybe, okay, like right now I just told you that our two, two of our girls don't have their screen, but our living room is just filled with Legos. It is a Lego tornado.
Dr. Jessica Peck: What's your face?
Solomon Rexius: Well, exactly. And I'm like, you know what? But that's okay, you know, because I can't, I can't, I don't know, I can't do it all. So it while, they're on the screen fast, I'm just going to be a little more okay with the messy living room. And it's great they're building stuff, the Legos. That's great. So I think sometimes when we enforce the rul, we got to be ready for the other side of it.
The concept of a screen fast and its benefits for family connection and discipline
Whether that's living room or taking, a little extra time to help guide them into something fun, to help get them started on the craft or get them started on the game outside. and then I think where this all circles back to is just so much of what they're hearing on screens. I, as much as we try to control, I can't control all of it. But that's why, again, I think the last thing they hear each night really does matter because I, I don't know what their teachers told them, I don't know what their friends told them. I don't know what they, you know, saw on some, movie or whatever, but I can control the last thing that they hear. And I want it to be words of blessing. So that, that's just a few of my thoughts around screen time. I'm not an expert on that one either. But we're, we're learning and finding that each kid kind of has different proclivities to it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I had a sign in my house at one point that said, creativity is messy and my kids are very creative because it's so true. I mean, I, I had my kids, Solomon, because I was that, you know, mom, that it wasn't ever that we said, oh, you can't, you know, we have these really strict limits on screen time or you can't play video games. I think we just always were really intentional in providing other alternatives and making those alternatives more compelling and more fun. But it did end up in, you know, my boys, putting a hundred paper plates on the wall with gum one one day for Nerf gun practice. That was, that was great. Thanks. Thanks to my mother in law who gave them gum. But you know, that that's a small price to pay for and for them to have some creativity and bonding and playing together. Now I want to go back to something that you said. You called it a screen fast. I think that's really a great idea because that's one of the things that we do in positive parenting is you don't want to make it like, oh, I'm going to punish limitation. You're grounded, you have no screen. But making it a positive guardrail, a positive, you know, limitation in their life, a positive boundary to say, hey, we need to put some boundaries in place that are going to better support you for success. Calling it a screen fast. I think that is a great way to go. Can you tell me more about that?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, I think the first one we did was, yeah, A couple years ago and it was a two week thing right when school was done. Because I know it's like, school's over, time to veg out on your, your iPad or whatever. And we're like, we're not doing that.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And so August.
Solomon Rexius: Anyway, yeah, we all just did a personal screen fast. And, that was really helpful, especially because we were in it together. And, you know, then we're able to describe and explain what fasting is. You know, that it's in the Bible. It's where you intentionally don't do something, usually food, but it can be other things, to set aside time for other things, prayer. And, you know, of course, in this situation, time with each other or doing things outside. And so that's kind of how we got started. Now, to be clear, sometimes it is punishment. And so that's different. But sometimes it's more of a family thing. Like, hey, we, as a family, we're going to fast from screens for these days or these weeks. And that's been a good little tradition. We've come back to it several times, over the last few years. Years.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know what I love about that? I don't even think that's punishment, Solomon. I think that's discipline. And that's in a pot. That's. You're teaching them also to be self disciplined. Because if you're recognizing the cues when, okay, we need a fast here, then they're going to learn to take that on their own and they're going to say, all right, I need a fast. And I do see young people. I, when I say young people, I feel like I'm really old. Like, you know, older teenagers and college kids. Those, those youngins there. I do see them, them intentionally taking fast from social media or removing that app from their phone. I think they're doing better, actually, than Gen X, millennials, baby boomers are, because we kind of just have no limits. But I think that's a really great, just way to frame it, is that sometimes we need a screen fast. What I want to ask you, Solomon, is, you know, in this book that you have written, the. A, bedtime blessing from head to toe, what is it that you hope that this book will do? Going out into the world? What is the vision that God has given you for the help and hope that it can be for people?
Solomon Rexius: yeah, I, you know, I think that almost the first thing that comes to mind is like, I hope, if nothing else, it creates a moment of warmth between parent and child. I hope it does more than that, but I have found that it is that first. I think it gives. Gives kids those words of life that they need after a long day of hearing all sorts of different things. I'm sure it gives them clear and true words of life to, to end their day and to drift off into sleep. I think it gives, and I hope it gives parents language who, who aren't sure what to pray. I mean, that's a lot of times how I feel. I don't always know what to pray. And so having this routine gives me. Me words to pray that are valuable and meaningful and I can keep coming back to. So I hope, I hope it does a number of things like it blesses the kid, it blesses the parent. It, you know, helps and enhances that relationship between parent and child. And really the goal of this whole thing, it's. It's not about creating a perfect bedtime routine. It's just. It's using these ordinary moments to speak biblical truth over your kids. And so my hope is that eventually people don't even need the book that they, it spurs on their own sort of creativity, where they get to, to create their own sort of family tradition and how they want to end their day. But it's a starting point for parents who are maybe just getting started with their bedtime routines.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It is a starting point and it takes being intentional.
The importance of parental leadership in home connection and the elements of a bedtime blessing
That's the thing. I think so often we just have become so apathetic in today's world, and we just, we have so much programming around us that we just kind of expect that programming to do it. Like we're going to listen to a podcast or go to church and listen to a sermon, or we're going to participate in a life group or Sunday school class. And those things are all great. Don't get me wrong. Those are all really great. But I think it has really de. Incentivized parents from taking that leadership role in their own home and saying like, okay, I've gotta make sure that I am the one who is leading these points of connection. And it doesn't have to be really complicated. It doesn't have to be really long. This is just such a simple point. Can you share more, Solomon, about the, about the blessings that are in the book. You said something thing earlier about the shoulders. Can you tell. Tell us more about the blessing from head to toe?
Solomon Rexius: Yeah, well, let me say this too. Some of it, you know, it goes through the whole, body. I think it's 11 body parts. and some of them it's more literal and some of. Some I play with a little bit of like, figurative language too. Like with the shoulders, you know, it's, strengthen their shoulders to carry the weight of responsibility. Now you don't, at least not usually, you don't literally carry responsibility on your shoulders. But trying to teach the Kids like that kind of thing. Whereas when I talk about the arms, it's, you know, give them strength for all the work that you call them to. Now that that's a little bit more actual literal. Like I'm asking for strong arms for whatever God leads you into. but yeah, it kind of goes through. some of them are really short, some are long. Like the, I say, you know, would you strengthen their backbone to stand up against the darkness of this world? we talk about the hands. Open their hands to the needy and the lonely and to anybody who needs a friend. their mouth. That's the one I probably spent the most time trying. What exactly do I want to say? Just words are so powerful and so, I could actually pull up the book right here.
The profound impact of spoken blessings and the role of identity in children's lives
But basically it's, you know, open their mouth to speak words, words of wisdom and blessing and healing, not words that hurt. You know, so in language that, you know, a five, six year old can understand. And then it goes down through the legs. Lord, strengthen their legs to walk through the hills and valleys of life with you and order their footsteps in youn Word and in youn will for all their days. You know, so that's. That's kind of how it goes from all the way from the head down, shoulders down to the top toes.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Solomon, I'm a grown woman who is getting older every day in Gen X, But I can't even tell you what I think I would feel if somebody spoke a blessing like that over me every day. I think it doesn't matter how old you are, just having someone speak that word, a blessing over you is such a blessing. And I, you know, thinking that that is not something that I had when growing up. And I wonder, like, what would that have changed? Did people speak that way over you just to know I love you, I care for you, but I'm just a, reflection of the way that God loves you and God cares for you, and God has all of these hopes and dreams for you and, and has planted them in your heart, I think. And these plans for you. God has a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope in a future. And I think you're speaking that with these blessings, just telling them you are loved, you are known, you were created by God, you are not in this world alone. You are special. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. These are all issues of identity, Solomon. And the world is speaking all kinds of messages. And as parents, we don't have to create our own children's ministry program in our home. It's just a few quiet moments where you put down your phone and sit beside your child and look the minute in the eyes and speak some simple words of truth and blessing and pray and let them go to sleep knowing they are deeply loved, not only by you, but by God who made them. Solomon, thanks for reminding us that bedtime can be one of the most meaningful moments of connection. And as you are reminding us, I pray, over my listeners. The Lord will bless you and keep you. I'll see you right back here tomorrow.
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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
In this episode of Dr. Nurse Mama, Jessica sits down with pastor and author Solomon Rexius to discuss his new book, A Bedtime Blessing from Head to Toe. Together, they explore how simple, repeatable blessings and intentional "screen fasts" can turn bedtime chaos into a golden hour of spiritual connection for busy families.
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