Jeff Chamblee: Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. Merry Christmas, everyone. We are in the full swing of the holiday seasons, and so I can say that I say that with all joy, but Merry Christmas. I hope that whatever you are doing as we are nearing and getting nearer and nearer to the actual Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, that you're having a great holiday season. And we have done a lot of work to prepare you for Christmas. And so hopefully your heart is in the right place. Hopefully your pantry is organized, you are ready for guests. You have an Advent devotional that you have picked with your family. But believe it or not, friends, believe it or not, we. We're already talking about the end of the year. And as we come to the close of another year, many of us are starting to reflect on those things that truly matter, those high points of 2025. And those things are always our faith, our families, and really the legacy that we're leaving behind. And this is a season of generosity. And our hearts naturally turn towards gratitude and giving. We see that with the bell ringers from the Salvation army or people asking for charitable donations. But I want to highlight a ministry that really stands boldly at the intersection of truth and courage and compassion, and that is our very own American Family Association. For nearly five decades, AFA has been a leading voice for biblical values in a culture that often pushes against them. In a chaotic culture that is often contrary to our values, AFA champions the sanctity of life. The they protect, uh, children, which I love. They strengthen marriages, which I love. They defend religious freedom. They equip families to stand firm in faith. That's a lot of what we do here every single day on the Doctor Nurse Mama show and across all of their programming through American Family Radio and all of the programs they provide through afa. And when the culture gets louder and more chaotic, AFA gets clearer. And when families feel overwhelmed, AFA steps in with truth that is rooted in God's word. And joining us today, today is frequent guest Chelsea Wildmon. So grateful to have her here. She is the associate director of the American Family Association. She's a leader from the inside who not only understands the mission of afa, but she lives it. She is a mom, she is a wife. She is passionate about helping families Navigate today's challenges with courage and clarity and mobilizing you as our listeners so to make an eternal impact through faithful generosity. So as we are looking toward the new year, we uh, want to talk about year end gifts. Because it's not just a donation that we're asking for. It's an opportunity to invest in the next generation, to stand for truth, and to make a gift that echoes into eternity. Now that sounds better than any technology you're going to wrap up and put under the tree. And in this conversation, Chelsea and I are going to talk about the heart behind AFA's work, the lives that are being impacted, but most, most importantly, how you can be a part of strengthening families and shaping culture through your giving. So it's about more than wrapping up presents or even wrapping up the year. This is about fueling the mission for another year of faithful impact. Chelsea, Merry Christmas. I know you are probably so busy as a busy mama, doing all the things that all the mamas are doing, but you are here today with us and we're so grateful.
Chelsea Wildmon: Thank you so much for having me.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Chelsea, tell us how we can contribute to the work of afa. Tell us all the things.
Chelsea Wildmon: Yes. So for um, for our year end giving deadlines, we wanted to kind of just let our listeners know the opportunity, um, that is before them. So so far we have a few deadlines coming up and I wanted to touch on that. So iras, so, um, givers who would like to make a qualified charitable distribution, um, we ask that they contact their IRA company um, this week. So usually, um, IRA companies, investment companies, they are getting inundated with all of the requests for year end giving. So we want, you know, we ask that you initiate that gift this week if that is something that you are interested in. Um, a qualified charitable distribution definitely helps, um, the donor not have to, you know, um, absorb some of that uh, tax, um, the tax implications for that gift. It allows them to give that gift and then not be liable for for those funds that they um, would normally receive. So this week is, is the deadline for that as well as our stock donations. That deadline is coming up. Any stock mutual fund transfers or charitable gift annuities that are funded through stock, um, we ask that December 15th that you initiate that and have that wrapped up by the end of the year as well as any cash gifts, um, those can be taken and postmarked up to December 31st. So you definitely have a few weeks to get those in. But for our charitable gift annuity, and that is our largest offering within the AFA Foundation. Those can be postmarked up to December 31st as well. But we just want to, you know, start that conversation if that's something that is on your heart, on your mind, and you've been praying about that, thinking about it, maybe hearing us on the radio speak about that. That is a charitable gift annuity. And I'll just kind of touch the brief overview of that. So a charitable gift annuity is a gift between you and American Family Association. And when you gift that those funds, you receive a fixed income for the rest of your life. So you are paid a percentage for the rest of your life for that gift. And then when you go home, um, to be with the Lord and pass away, any remaining funds are then gifted to AFA to continue our ministry's work for the Lord. And you might say what is my benefit, um, because it is a year end gift. So those benefits for our donors are a, a partial tax free, um, income. So part of your income that you will be paid is completely tax free as well as a partial tax deduction for this year. So it can help on, um, those tax savings for you.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You had me a tax free there, Chelsea. I think everybody loves.
Chelsea Wildmon: It's a great benefit. Absolutely.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, Chelsea, I have been a part of the American Family association family for almost three years now. I cannot believe it. And it is amazing. It is a beautiful thing to see, Chelsea. Your family being the third generation of Wildmans who are running American Family association, who are fighting for families even before they know they need that, that organization to fight for them, to fight for their values and their voice in the public square. And there's so many amazing things that AFA does. And it's not just radio. There are all kinds of other ministries that are supported by American Family Association. I mean, it is such a, it is such a heartwarming thing. And every time I come to studio, we see families who are working there together. And there is just such, I think about how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell in unity. And that is what it feels like. I am telling you behind the scene. And I'm a nurse, I'm the most trustworthy profession is ranked by the American public. So I have to tell the truth. And that is really how it is. And, and we really need money to be able to run that, to be able to serve, uh, the public. And I can tell you, your husband Wesley, all of the leaders at afa, they are such good stewards of the money. They think about it, they know how what? That it comes from sacrifice and from, uh, generous hearts and spirits. And so I'm so grateful for that. And when you talked about the charitable gift annuity, Chelsea, that was the first time I had ever heard about that. I don't, and I don't know a lot about finance because that's not a lot in my world. But that is such a great opportunity. So can you tell us one more time, just encourage people to give and tell them where they can go to do that?
Chelsea Wildmon: Yes, absolutely. So you can give us a call and just start that conversation with our team. 1-800-326-4543, extension three, four, five. I'll give that number one more time. 1-800-326 4543, extension three, four, Five. You'll either speak with myself or Wriley or Jessica. Our team at the foundation is ready and willing to help, um, figure out out for our donors and our listeners what might be right for them in this giving season.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I mean, Chelsea, listen to your voice. If you're going to give money to somebody, I want to give money to someone as nice and friendly as you. You just make it so, so easy. And I'm so appreciative. And again, I'll give that number, too. It's 800-326-4543, extension 3, 4 5. But if you call or email or get on the website, find a way to contact, they will put you in touch with Chelsea or Wriley or Jessica or someone who can help you with that. Thank you so much, Chelsea.
Chelsea Wildmon: Yes. And, and if they're not ready to speak with someone, afafoundation.net is a wonderful resource and, um, they can find information there as well.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Excellent. And that is available year round. So we encourage you to think about it now. But at any time, even if you're planning for 2026, we have share a thon twice a year. That's the only two times a year that we really focus on raising money for the ministry. And you can be a part of that. Chelsea, thank you so much for all that you do for American Family association, for the foundation. And I can say I've been there almost three years now, and every time I see you, you are serving with a smile. And I am just so appreciative for you and your service and all that you do.
Chelsea Wildmon: Well, thank you so much for having me on your program. And I will say, uh, you, you said, you know, listening to your voice. Well, listening to your voice is a pleasure. When I'm in the car rider line picking up my children. So thank you for the work that you do for AFA and AFR and for just spreading hope to families.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I love that. Thank you so much for the opportunity for that. Yes, we have a very strong contingency of car rider up listeners.
Chelsea Wildmon: Yes, I'm included on that list. Absolutely.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I love that. And you know, Chelsea, the fun thing is, I mean, we have people who are driving trucks across the country who are listening. I even heard from a girl I go to church to who said her uncle rides a motorcycle. And he listened. I was, I was really laughing, thinking, listening to this big, tough, you know, motorcycle rider. Listen to doctor, nurse.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes.
Chelsea Wildmon: All kinds or listeners. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for having me. And again, 1-800-326-4543, extension three four, five. We would love to speak with your listeners.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Thank you so much, Chelsea, and Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Chelsea Wildmon: You as well.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, thank you so much for listening to that and taking the opportunity to be a blessing to others. It is more blessed to give than to receive. And I definitely feel that my kids always ask me, what do you want for Christmas? And I say, I really don't want anything except for my family to be all together. I'm at that life stage where my kids are all out growing up and moving out. And I'm just realizing what a treasure it is to have them all together. And that's really all that I want for Christmas. It makes me so much happier to give them things than to get things. And it is more blessed to give than to receive. And as we're talking about this Christmas season, during the holidays, whether your kids are here for this Christmas or maybe traveling somewhere else, it doesn't matter where you are, your home in some way, shape or form is going to fill up with food, with laughter, with tradition additions, hopefully not with clutter, thanks to the declutter diaries that we've been doing with Kathi Lipp this year. But let me give you a message of encouragement. God invites us to use this season for something really truly special. He invites us. We have an opportunity like, uh, no other time in the year to open our, the doors to our home, to share God's love. Because hospitality is more than hosting. Sometimes in today's day and age, I think we reduce hospitality, hospitality to the best charcuterie board, which again, my husband's gonna say, what's charcuterie? Again? It's meat and cheese on a board. That's what it is. It's more than having a Pinterest worthy home it is gospel work in everyday life. And few people model this better than a lady named. I'm about to make some of you so happy. And I'm about to make some of you confused. But that is okay. Lottie Moon. I know. See all of you WMU people. Is there any WMU people out there? Lottie Moon.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Uh.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And if you don't know who Lottie Moon is, you are about to learn. She was a faithful missionary who became known as the Cookie Lady. And through a simple act of making tea cakes and just giving love with an open heart, she invited people into her home and into the hope of Christ. And when we come back from this break, we're going to reflect on her story and be reminded that small acts of faithfulness that are done in love can have eternal impact. So, yes, those Christmas cookies that you're baking and sharing with a neighbor, we're talking about eternity. We're talking about kingdom work there. And our homes, just like hers, can become mission fields where the gospel is lived and shared. Now, she, Lottie Moon was actually only 4ft 3 inches tall, according to my sources that she was a tiny lady, but a powerful, powerful force. And I will be sharing with you about her story when we come back. And we'll talk about what we can learn as families today about hospitality and how it is an opportunity to share the gospel. I can't wait to share with you about it. And if you're wondering about that phone number one more time to be able to contribute in your end of your giving to America Family association, you can call 800-326-4543, extension 345. We'll be right back after this break.
Jeff Chamblee: it's so easy to politicize abortion, but the reality is there's a precious life at stake. And that little life doesn't have a voice. All that little life has is a heartbeat. And it can be heard as early as five weeks on ultrasound. That's where preborn steps in. Preborn is a voice for the little ones. They do an ultrasound. And that's when everything changed. Because when I saw my baby and when I heard her heartbeat, that was it.
Jeff Chamblee: PreBorn Network of clinics offers free ultrasounds to women in crisis while showering them with God's love. This powerful combination doubles a baby's chance at life and has helped to rescue over 300,000 babies. To learn more about preborn's life saving work, call pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250, baby. Or visit preborn.com/AFR all gifts are tax- deductible.
Christ Is Born (Happy Birthday) by Evan Craft: 1, 2. Playing in the snow it's my favorite time of year? Hot cocoa and I'm smiling ear to ear? Cause I know it's almost Christmas day? Got a party on the way. Hey. What a beautiful season to celebrate Jesus with family and friends by the fire? The sleigh bells are ringing? The carols we're singing? It's the most wonderful time of the year. Yeah. Merry Christmas, family. Snobby die. Joy to the world. Peace on earth. Jingle all the way. Christ is born. Happy birthday. Merry Christmas. God is with us. Peace on earth. Jingle all the way. Christ is born. Happy birthday.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Christ is born. Happy birthday by Evan Craft and we are in the full swing of the Christmas season. I know you're probably starting to feel the holiday rush. The traffic's getting a little worse, the shopping malls are getting crowded, or maybe it's the packages piling up on your porch or the, the ingredients for that delicious dish. Whatever you're going to make, whatever you're doing to prepare for Christmas. We do have a great opportunity for hospitality. And, uh, as I was saying before the break, I think in today's day and age with hospitality, we have really made it into something that it is not. We have made it into a test to showcase our hosting skills, the grandeur of our homes that, you know, do we have the latest, greatest technology? Do we have? Is our house magazine ready? It is not about that at all. Hospitality is actually a biblical mandate. It's not optional. Hospitality isn't having the perfect table. It is really just having an open heart. And scripture really frames hospitality as a command. It's not just a spiritual gift or a personality trait. Some of us are better, uh, at it than others. Some of us enjoy it more than others. But hospitality really creates space for the gospel to be seen before it's even spoken. Because the holidays give us as families a built in opportunity to model generosity and kindness and welcome and to show them we're doing all of these things because of our love for Christ. Hospitality is a great way to teach your kids the gospel in motion. So if you're having friends or family over who are coming to do any holiday activities with you, I want you to remember that kids are not just learning faith from the lessons that they're getting, hopefully during your Advent readings or at Sunday school or in their church environments, they are absorbing it from lived examples. Many of those come through hospitality because when kids help you be bake, when they set the table when they are the designated door opener. And they are even praying with others. They are learning that God loves people who walk through our door, that our home is not only the place where we live, it is a place where we minister to other people. And serving others is just a natural part of following Jesus. Hospitality teaches families how to have compassion for those who maybe are in a different circumstance. Maybe you're going to host someone who has lost a loved one, someone who has just been through a divorce, someone whose family can't travel or they can't be with them. Hospitality teaches us how to have courage, how to host conversation. If maybe you're the introvert of the family, it's sacrifice because we're paying money to feed other families or evangelism. And this all happens without a curriculum. And really kind of sadly, usually without a felt board. I. I'd be okay with bringing out a felt board. I'm a fan of the felt board. But I digress. So what we're talking about today is a great example of someone who showed hospitality as a means of sharing the gospel, and that is Lottie Moon. Now, who was Lottie Moon? She was a Southern Baptist missionary who served in China in the late 1800s and early 1900s. She was actually born on December 12th. I think it's fitting that she was born at Christmas time in 1840 in Albemarle County. I hope I said that right. Those of you who were my friend there, please feel free to correct me if you want, but that's in Virginia. And she was one of 11 children living with her family on an estate known as Viewmont in pre Civil War Virginia. And she went to the Albemarle Female Institute in Charlottesville, Virginia, and was very influenced by a pastor of Charlottesville Baptist Church. She made a profession of Faith on December 21, 1858, and she later made a commitment to mission about the same time that she learned the Foreign Mission Board was considering appointing single women to serve as missionaries. Now, on September 1, 1873, Lottie Moon began her trip to China. And this would become her home for the next 39 years. She devoted her life to teaching and evangelism among the people of China. And she began her ministry in Tang Chao. And she attracted a lot of attention because people had never seen a person with, with white skin, with, uh, with her. With the hair that she had. She looked different, she stood out. And she found herself living among a people whose poverty and circumstances were really a lot worse than she had even left in those post Civil War days. And she was very concerned, especially about the children. And she traveled and she brought orphans back with her to Ting Chow. She provided food and shelter for them in her boarding schools. And she was really a tireless and sacrificial missionary, even though she often ministered in intense isolation. And her personal journal reflected that, that she felt lonely often. And she. There was a severe famine, lack of financial security. All of these things really weighed down on her. She sacrificed her own life for the lives of others. As she continued to give her money and food to those who she saw have a greater need than she did. And having given up the very things that could, could sustain her life, she actually died aboard a ship on December 24th on Christmas Eve of 1912. And she is such a great example, uh, of someone who dedicated her life to serving others. She left comfort, she left familiarity. She left security to share the gospel with people who had never heard the name of Jesus. She was very small in stature, as I said, only 4 foot 3 inches tall, but spiritually mighty. And she devoted her life to the Great Commission with great perseverance and courage. She was known as the Cookie Lady. And because she was known for inviting people, especially children, into her home for tea cakes, what, what we would call cookies today. And food opened that door. But her hospitality built trust in those relationships. And those relationships prepared heart to receive the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And those gospel seeds were planted at her table long before they were preached, uh, at a church. She used hospitality as a ministry strategy. She didn't wait for people to come to her. She went to them and invited them into her home through everyday connections. Isn't that amazing to think about that? Her kitchen became a mission field and her table was really up a church that she was sharing the message of the love of Jesus. And her love became the message that people could absolutely understand. Her hospitality made the gospel personal. So hospitality is really still a gospel tool for every family today. You don't need a passport. You just need a willing heart. And a snack table can be a space for sacred conversation. A living room can be a mission outpost. And a Christmas gathering can be an opportunity to share the gospel. Because our home isn't just where we flop on the couch to chill and, or just watch TV or whatever we're doing. It is a place that we can really do some kingdom work and we can teach our families that we invite people into our home because Jesus invited us into heaven. And we serve others because Jesus served us. We give ev. We give to other families, because Jesus gave everything for us. And so there's so many things that you can do to be hospice hospitable at the holidays. But let me just remind you, it does not require perfection. So if you're thinking, oh, uh, my kitchen is messy, invite somebody into the middle of that mess, or if you think, uh, all I have is paper plates, hey, those can. Those paper plates can still preach. Even if the cookies are burned, they can still carry a message of love. What not matters most is not what you're serving at your table, but who you are serving and why you are serving them. Now, one of the beautiful things about Lottie Moon is that her legacy lives on through giving. We talked in the first segment about giving at this Christmas season. And Lottie Moon, she gave everything to the point of giving her own life. And she challenged other believers to give. Not because they had an excess, not because you have so much you can afford to give, but really out of obedience. And she even sacrificed her own meals so that others could eat. Now, I'm not saying that you have to do that, although that's one of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite Christmas movies, Little Women. I love seeing that, where the March family gives their Christmas breakfast to a family in need. But today, you can give to the Lottie Moon Christmas offering that continues her mission. It supports missionaries around the world. It funds work to do the gospel, helps reach unreached people groups, and keeps missionaries on the field. You can go to IMB, that's, uh, the International Mission Board, imb.org to find out. Or maybe your local church is contributing to the Lottie Moon Christmas offering. So I would encourage you to consider that. And as we do that, as you give to whatever cause the Lord puts on your heart this Christmas season, we can tell our kids and show them that giving is really a spiritual discipline. It is a form of discipleship. So it's important to let your kids participate in the offering. Now, one thing that we used to do is pass the offering plate, and many churches still do that. But with giving moving online, sometimes that giving is invisible. And especially for kids, they don't see their parents actively giving. And they need to see that. Not to show off or to say, oh, look what we are giving, but so that they can see that testimony of your lived obedience. And so think about that in ways that you can let them maybe help them to choose, uh, let them choose a cause that you can donate to. Maybe give them some money that they can decide what they're going to give at that offering. Show them how you're giving online. Show them how you're giving in person. Tell them what it's for and who it helps. You can also help them learn where the money is going and see that act of generosity as an act of worship. Most of all, I hope that you pray for missionaries who are around the world. We are seeing unprecedented persecution of Christians around the world, and they need our prayers for protection more than ever. And giving is really hospitality on a global scale, because when we give, we're really doing what Lottie did. We're inviting the world to meet Jesus. It is hospitality without borders. What a great opportunity for us to have love in action all around the world and stretching beyond our homes and into the nations, which is what we are commanded to do in the Great Commission. So here's some ideas for holiday applications, some things that you can do, maybe to show hospitality to someone. Invite someone to join you in your home for a Christmas tradition, for whatever it is that you're doing for the holiday, or invite them over for cookies or for something simple, a simple refreshment. Just maybe someone who might be alone. Maybe that's an elderly person. Maybe that's someone who lost a spouse or a loved one. Maybe that's someone who is going through a season of separation or divorce. And. And they may be alone while their children are split between parents. Look out for those single parents. They are often doing heroes work during this time of year. Maybe you can deliver baked goods, but when you deliver them, ask, how can we pray for you? How can we pray for you? We want to give you cookies, but we want to give you prayer, too. It can be a really big blessing. And I can tell you, I have asked so many people, thousands of people in my life, how can I pray for you? And to date, I haven't had anybody say, no, I don't want prayers, thank you very much. I. I refuse. I think that is a, um, gift that we can give that doesn't cost us any money, but that really has a very big investment. You may host. Host a party in your home or adopt a missionary family in prayer and just commit to pray for them this Christmas season. And really they need our prayers every season. Maybe you can read Lottie Moon's story together. This is a great book series that is called Christian Heroes Then and now. If you're watching online, I'm holding up this book. There are a lot of other Christian heroes that are in this series, and it looks like it's about for ages 10 and up. I'm a big fan of reading out loud to my kids. Even now. I love to read out loud. Maybe that's just the old fashioned girl in me, but this would be a great option, just to read out loud, uh, at, at night and to read the story of Lottie Moon. You might just light candles and pray for the nations or involve your family and giving intentionally to the Lottie Moon offering. Because hospitality is not about having more. It's about sharing and giving what you already have. God has uniquely equipped you to serve whoever it is that he's called you to serve. You have so much more than you think that you do. Just think about Lottie Moon. One woman, one kitchen and one plate of cookies and a gospel that reached around the globe. And now here we are, more than a hundred years later, still giving to a missionary fund in her name. That is a legacy that is worth celebrating. So this Christmas, your family doesn't need to do more. Maybe you just need to open your door and look for opportunities to minister. So often we can be sucked into this consumer mindset of Christmas and thinking about what do we need to give our kids and what experiences do we need to have and what do we not have that we need to have? This Christmas, let's raise our thoughts to be generous, to be hospitable, to remember and to really stand firm on the conviction that hospitality is not about perfection. It is about presence. You just need to be present. And I think especially at this age, you know, my kids are all high school, college age. They don't care if there are dishes in my sink. They do care if there is food in the pantry. They really do want to be fed, but they don't care what that is. It can be anything there. But just as Lottie Moon used to kitchen as a place of ministry, our tables can become places where faith is passed on, where strangers are welcomed, where hearts are open to the love of Jesus. Praise God for that. When we give through the Lottie Moon Christmas offering, we extend our hospitality beyond our homes and all across the world into the nations, helping send the gospel where we cannot go ourselves. One open door, one simple gift, one faithful heart. God can use it all. And this season, may we not just celebrate the story of Christ's coming, but live it out. When we come back, we'll talk about when hospitality hurts. How do we navigate strained family relationships at the holidays? Have some ideas when we come back.
Jeff Chamblee: Um, it's so easy to politicize abortion, but the reality is there's a precious life at stake and that little life doesn't have a voice. All that little life has is a heartbeat. And it can be heard as early as five weeks on ultrasound. That's where preborn steps in. Preborn is a voice for the little ones. They do an ultrasound. And that's when everything changed. Because when I saw my baby and ah, when I heard her heartbeat, that was it.
Jeff Chamblee: Network of clinics offers free ultrasounds to women in crisis while showering them with God's love. This powerful combination doubles a baby's chance at life and has helped to rescue over 300,000 babies. To learn more about preborn's life saving work, call pound250 and say the key word baby. That's 250baby. Or visit preborn.com/AFR all gifts are tax- deductible.
Born Is The King (It's Christmas) by Hillsong Worship: Gifted from heaven to a manger. The hope of the world alive. All around the earth rejoice It's Christmas time. So lift up your voice and sing at his praise It's Christmas what is the king? Rejoice in the day It's Christmas make your trouble sound It's Christmas Let us.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Praise your sound It's Christmas welcome back, friends. That is born is the king. It's Christmas by hillsong Worship and it is Christmas. It is really truly Christmas time. We are right in the middle of the Christmas season and, uh, my heart is so grateful as we are going to the end of this year. Just earlier today, my producer handed me a letter that one of our listeners wrote. And I'm gonna tell you, it absolutely brought me to tears. And one of the things that she said was, she said that she so looks forward to listening that she feels like she's having an afternoon visit with family. And today she was thoroughly enjoying our conversation. I love that. I love feeling like, yes, we're all just here learning together. And she also said she loves Christmas too. And every day is cause for Thanksgiving and celebrating Jesus. Right? And she is so right. So thanks so much for writing in, but you know, I, as much as I love Christmas, for a lot of people, and me included, sometimes some parts of Christmas, it doesn't feel like a Hallmark or a great American family movie. It feels like you're walking into old wounds. It feels like unresolved conversations. It feels like relate sick is sweeter, but that ache in your heart sometimes can feel heavier. And I always am very thoughtful of people that are carrying that tension, those burdens into this season. Whether it's estrangement, if it's disappointment, if it's unmet expectations, if it's silent grief. Friend, you are not alone and you are not weak for feeling it. If you are struggling with your mental health, if you are struggling with your relationships, if you're struggling to find gratitude and joy, God sees every tear that you have cried in quiet. He sees every smile that you forced for the sake of others. And the middle of all of that messiness, God is Emmanuel. He draws near to you not to condemn you, but to offer you compassion and offer you peace that the world simply cannot manufacture. And what is most a, uh, blessing to me is that he gives us a hope that doesn't disappoint and a hope that doesn't depend on perfect family or perfect family gatherings. So if you are one of those people who is already starting to think about handling these strained relationships, and at Christmas, we got to just acknowledge the reality of that. Just, you have to get to the place where you accept it, that Christmas is wonderful and is also complicated. The world paints Christmas as warm. It's perfect, as picture perfect. But many families are living something different. You may be walking through an estrangement, you may be having grief, or dealing with someone who's struggling with addiction or divorce or unresolved conflict. A lot of those things surface during the holidays. God is not surprised by your family's brokenness. He is not pacing the throne room of heaven saying, oh, no, what's going to happen next? He stepped down into that. Jesus himself entered our broken world. He understands that family pain. He has been here. He has seen it. And the goal of the holiday is not a flawless gathering. It is really a family, faithful heart. And that success may not look like the end of a made for TV movie where everyone reconciles and the music swells and it's a happy ending. Maybe success this Christmas looks like, hey, I showed up. I was there. Maybe it's in refusing to retaliate. Maybe it's success in guarding your heart and putting up some healthy boundaries. Maybe it's extending grace without also enabling harm and figuring out that balance. Faithfulness sometimes means staying some and means showing up. And sometimes it means setting boundaries. But we've got to choose peace over performance. Romans 12:18 tells us, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. But peace does not mean an absence of conflict. It doesn't mean pretending that nothing is wrong. Peace might look like. You know what? I'm not going to reopen that old argument. I'm just not going to go there. You know what? I'm going to just let that awkward moment pass Quietly when he asked me for the 12th time when I'm going to get married, when I'm going to have a baby or, you know, when I'm going to. Whatever it is, that's that awkward moment. I'm just going to let it pass. I am not going to be rage baited this Christmas. I won't take emotional bait. I'm just, just going to just exercise some m. Self control, take a deep breath and walk away. Or maybe it means that success is just that you speak less and you pray more. You are not responsible for other people's reactions. You are only responsible for your obedience to the call of Christ in your life. And we. That means that grace is not being a doormat. It doesn't mean, okay, just take it because it's Christmas and just, just let people treat you however they want. Jesus showed compassion, but he also set limits. And boundaries are biblical and sometimes they are necessary. And those boundaries can look really different. It may mean limiting the time that you spend at a particular gathering or making a plan pre deciding to leave early or just saying no to some things to protect your children from being exposed to toxic relationships. Sometimes it means just walking away from toxic conversations and say, I'm not here to engage in that conversation. I'm, um, here to celebrate the holiday. You can forgive someone and still have boundaries. And another thing that you might think about now, this may sound counterintuitive, but you might need to lower your expectations. Sometimes when we have unrealistic expectations, it hurts us in ways that we don't have to be hurt because. Because you just think, maybe this is that, uh, Christmas where I'm going to get that apology. Maybe, maybe they're going to say they're sorry. Maybe, maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time I'll enjoy going there. Maybe this time they're open for healing. But sometimes that doesn't happen. And we can be okay to grieve what is and grieve what is not and trust God with, with what he can do and what can be. Because when we have compassion, it helps us to see people not just as the person who hurt you, but as God sees them. Ask God to give you his eyes for people who have caused you pain and just refuse to carry that offense into the new year. If you have unforgiveness, that is a deadly, A, uh, deadly, deadly disease. Honestly, it's. It, it damages your heart, your blood vessels, your mind. There are so many health impacts of unforgiveness and bitterness. And it is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick and expecting someone else to die. Forgiveness is not forgetting. It's just releasing control of that to the Lord. And so I encourage you, if that's you, if you're walking around with a hurt that you have, ask God what you need to lay down at the altar this season. What do you need to lay at the manger? What do you need to carry to the cross? What burden do you need to give to God instead of holding onto it with everything that you have? Because here's the beautiful part about forgiveness. It's not about rewriting the past. It's about redeeming your future. That's what forgiveness does. And above all, I encourage you to pray before, during, and after any family gatherings. Pray before you go. Pray that God would give you self control. Pray that he would give you words seasoned with grace. Pray for a spirit of unity. Pray during the, the family gathering or whatever it is that you're at. Quietly ask God to soften your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to be a counselor and to guide your reactions. And then pray after it. Uh, release those disappointments for things that didn't go like you had hoped they would go. Thank God for the strength to get through it, and ask him for healing in those situations. It is really essential to set some spiritual guardrails around those experiences. So some of the guardrails that you can speak, uh, that you can set are. Number one is speaking blessings instead of complaints. Complaining is toxic. And sometimes we justify it because we say we're venting. But really, truly challenge yourself to think, is this venting? Is it edifying to anyone? Is it helpful in this situation? Is it really helping my heart choose to speak blessings instead of complaints. When you think about those things that went wrong, think intentionally about the things that you're grateful for. My son is very good at convicting me of this. When he sees that I have a complaining spirit, he will come up to me. And even now, he doesn't have to even say it. He just kind of gives me that sympathetic head tilt and he raises his eyebrow like, mom, and I'll say, no, I don't want to know. Not now. Say yes. Start speaking the things you're grateful for. And here I am, a grown woman saying, you know, feeling like I'm talking like a toddler sometimes, okay, fine, I'm grateful for. But by the time I finish, I really do find it transforms my heart. So just prepare a few, a few phrases in advance to say to yourself or to say to someone else, like maybe you say, you know what, I'm choosing peace Today, I'm choosing joy. Today, I'm choosing joy. I'm choosing joy. Maybe you change the conversation and you just say, let's talk about something uplifting. How about, I saw this story there, this happens that I'm grateful for and just tell yourself, I'm committed to making today gentlemen. And just say, you know, I, I really just want to focus on the positive today. Let's focus on the positive. And maybe it's something that you need to set some boundaries and some guardrails around conversation, avoiding topics. Maybe you don't talk politics at the, at your family Christmas gathering. Maybe that's just not going to happen. Maybe you don't talk about old wounds, about. Yep, remember that time you did this. And really try your best not to critique those who are parenting. That can be really, really hard. Speak words of life, speak words of encouragement. As you see those parents who are struggling with kids who are overstimulated and over sugared and they have, uh, under slept, really give those parents a measure of grace and say, I really appreciated how you got on your kids eye level. I really appreciated how you spoke so kindly to them and that was really a beautiful thing to watch. Affirm their parenting. Affirm them. It's so much easier to say things like, are you going to let them eat that? Are you going to let them behave like that? Really try to use some positive affirmation. And we've got to remember what Christmas is truly about. Because Christmas did not arrive in a perfect family, in a perfect world. It came in a very imperfect world, in, uh, an imperfect family. Amid scandal and fear and political tension and cultural chaos and all kinds of social disruption. God chose brokenness as the backdrop for redemption, not perfection. He didn't choose the pinterest worthy homes. He chose a manger. And your messy holiday doesn't disqualify God or it doesn't discount what God has done in your life. He enters that right there with you. And we can have a choice to be the light in a world that is very dark, even when it's so hard to do. You may be the only glimpse of Christ that some of your family members will see. Kindness is so powerful. I, I, uh, love the, the saying, spread kindness around like confetti. Just choose to be kind wherever you can. It is through. I love the scripture. It's your kindness that leads us to repentance. Kindness is powerful. Silence can be holy. So if you're wanting that silent night, maybe it's just because you chose to have self control, to not say those words of hurt or bitterness or anger that were on your tongue, on you, on your tongue. Love spoken through restraint is a lot of times louder than even words that you can shout. And most of all, as hard as it is, and I have walked this path myself, you've got to release the outcome to God. You are not going to fix family dysfunction in one holiday weekend. I'm sure there's movies about that, but that's not real life. You've got to trust God with what isn't resolved, what isn't restored, with what still hurts, with what is still broken. And recognize that healing belongs to him and friend. I'm here to tell you that God cares so much more about your heart than he does about how your holiday is going to perform. You don't have to impress him. You don't have to fix anything. You don't have to correct anything. You don't have to prove anything. You are simply called to reflect Christ. And sometimes the greatest gift that you give Christmas is grace. Grace for yourself, grace for your family, grace for those broken places in there that can be a really freeing place to be. And I want you to know that I am praying for all of those of you and you're on my heart for those of you who are walking into Christmas seasons feeling a little uneasy. And you can bless and you can be a blessing to others and I encourage you to do that. You don't have to sacrifice your peace to honor a tradition. Jesus is the reason for the family season, not family drama. Okay? Jesus is the reason for the Christmas season. And on Friday, I'll talk a little bit more about some specific boundaries that you can put up with your family to have healthy boundaries, if that is what you need, or how you can support and strengthen your relationships in the holidays and wherever you are in your holiday preparation. If you still feel like you have to do some shopping, I hope you invite someone into your home, maybe just to share. Just slice and bake cookies. And I pray that as you do, the Lord will bless you and keep you. Make his face to shine upon you. I'll see you right here tomorrow.
Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
