Transcript

Dr. Jessica Peck is prescribing Hope for Healthy Families on American Family Radio

Hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse. Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck. Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And I feel like we are just rocking and rolling and into 2025. My, producer and I were talking about how is it already, April? But here we are. And I hope that you've been following along in our journey for 52 habits for healthy families. If not, you can catch up on the doctor Nurse Mama coaching minutes. We're talking this week about apologizing, but we have had a great show, a great series of show this week, the last week, the last year and a half, honestly. But Monday we talked to Rebecca George and such a great message about it's too late. No matter if you feel like you're behind, God's timing is perfect. Yesterday we had a great show with Sandy Rios, who many of you know from 24 7. Such an inspirational testimony of sticking true to your convictions. And today is going to be no different.

Our culture is obsessed with the pursuit of happiness. And that's a problem

And we're talking about joy today. And I feel like this God has a. God has a sense of humor. Because I was having a little trouble finding my joy today. It has been very stressful. It's been a stressful week. And I was thinking about. And I'm not really. I haven't really been that happy this morning, but when I'm thinking about happiness, our. Our culture is absolutely obsessed with the pursuit of happiness. You can see it everywhere. We are constantly sold the idea as that happiness is something we can buy, we can achieve, we can make. And advertisements tell us to treat ourselves. It will make us so happy. That new car, that vacation, the latest gadget. And we're constantly seeing social media with highlight reels of people that just seem like they're happy. They have it all. We think about things like Happy Meals, what people call the happiest place on Earth. We think about. Even the Declaration of Independence talks about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I looked up happiness in the dictionary and it says favored by luck or fortune. And that's a problem. Now, happiness is not bad. And I am not criticizing the Declaration of Independence. So don't come at me there. It's, I want to be happy. In fact, I love being happy. I love feeling happy. But the problem is that happiness is fleeting. It is tied to our circumstances. There's good days, there's good experience, things going our way. And when life inevitably gets hard, our happiness fades and we're left searching and for the next thing to fill the gap. And that's why so many people are chasing temporary highs, retail therapy, entertainment, success, relationships, only to feel empty again once the moment passes. But true joy is not based on our circumstances. Even though my circumstances right now have major construction machinery noise going on outside the window. I'm going to choose joy in this moment and ask you all to ignore it with me. Because joy is rooted in something deeper. We're talking about faith, we're talking about purpose and the assurance that even in the messiness of life, we are loved and held by God. But because culture tells us, hey, happiness is the ultimate goal, I think people often miss out on the lasting joy that doesn't depend on life being perfect. So instead of constantly striving for that next feel good moment, what if we pursued something more meaningful? And that's what we're going to talk about today. We are going to talk about even though those things are used interchangeably, we're going to talk with someone who knows a little something about joy. We're talking to Jill Baughan She is the author of no matter what 90 devotions for experiencing Unexpected Joy and Tough Times. And you know what? I think almost every one of us could say we're facing tough times. Whether that's something deeply personal that you're walking through, something in your family, just the general state of culture and the general state of the world and the stress that we walk in. And she's going to help us remember how to choose joy. So, Jill, I'm, so glad to have you. Thank you so much for joining us.

>> Jill Baughan: Oh, it is my delight to be here. I'm really looking forward to our talk.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I am too. And you just shared with me, Jill, before we went on that you are friends with Kathi Lipp, who is a friend of the show. She helps us with our clutter and that is bringing me joy. So I feel like, bring on all the, bring on all Kathy's friends because let's talk about joy and Jill. I need that in my life.

How did joy become a focus of your life

So, Jill, talk, talk to us a little bit about your story. How did joy become a focus of your life? How did God bring you to this moment of sharing joy? Because it seems like your story, it doesn't have joyful moments in it.

>> Jill Baughan: Well, I have to start when I was a child and tell you that, this concept of joy and tough times in the same place first visited me when I was a kid and I was on the Tilt a Whirl at our street fair. I'm sure you know what the Tilt a Whirl is.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I do.

>> Jill Baughan: It goes around and around and up and down. And I like to tell people that that's the first place I learned that it was entirely possible for a human being to laugh and throw up at the same time. And as I thought about that, that's funny. It is possible that joy and, you know, unpleasantness really can walk the same road. and that it didn't come to visit me quite so, violently, but in another way and in a deeper way when I was an adult. And I will tell you this story that absolutely changed my perspective on just about everything negative that happened to me. Just a number of years ago, I was at a basketball banquet and the Chick Fil a cow was the sponsor. You all have Chick Fil A, up there, don't you?

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah, we do, we do.

>> Jill Baughan: Well, you know, the cow is the sponsor. And this cow came bopping into the gym, high fiving all the kids. And I turned to my husband and I said, that looks like fun. I could do that. And he said, oh, okay, why don't you, why don't you ask around, see what you can find out and go do it. And I said, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Well, a few months later, we were in a Chick Fil a restaurant and he called me on it and said, why don't you go up there and ask the manager about putting on that cow suit? So I was busted. What could I do? So I went up to the counter and I asked for a manager. He came and he. And I said, what does a person have to do to put on that cow suit and do a few gigs? And he looked at me like I'd lost my mind a little bit when he said, what do you need? What do you need? A, pulse. That's all you need. No talent, no brains, no nothing else. All you need is a pulse to be able to do that. So I asked for an application and he gave me an application that was clearly intended for an adolescent who was applying for a part time job. So I thought, well, I'm going to have some fun with this. So I got my college transcript and I got my resume in order and I made a portfolio to die for. Then I made an appointment with the HR lady and dressed to kill. You know, I thought, this is just going to be great. And I met her in the food court of a local mall and she was much younger. Than me. She looked like she was 12. I know she was a lot older than that, but that's what it looked like to me. Took the whole thing very, very seriously. We had the interview. She stood up. So I stood up, stuck out her hand, and she said, I am pleased to offer you the position of area market cow for chick fil a. And I thought, this is better than being elected to anything. So, I did a few gigs, I did some parties and, you know, some things around town. But the sweet spot came was a year later, and I was the cow at that same basketball banquet. Well, while I was waiting to go on, this internal furnace started revving up in me. I don't know if. Have you been in a cow suit before?

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, that is actually a question that no one has ever asked me before. I've been asked a lot of questions, and I will tell you the answer is actually, no. I have not been in a cow suit, so I cannot relate. But I'm listening with rapt attention.

>> Jill Baughan: okay. Well, it's very warm in there. Very, very warm. You can't see out the front. You have to look down m. So anyway, I had to bend backward and look through a door, piece of glass and a door, and put my hooves on the door to see when it was my turn to go on. And I started getting very, very warm. And I'm sure most of your listeners understand ladies of a certain age experience this quite a bit with their little personal summers at a point in their lives. And that's what was happening to me. And I thought, oh, oh, please, no. Please, no, not in this suit, because it was so steamy in there anyway. Well, it was that moment, that ridiculous moment that some sorrow came to a head to my mind, in my life. And that was my husband. And I had struggled for years and years and years with infertility. And we were able to have a daughter. And we wanted more and asked God for more. And the answer was clearly no. At that point in time, we were not candidates for other forms of conception. And we did not feel led. We didn't know why, but we did not feel his leading to adopt. And so it's like something almost everybody experiences. And that is when God says no, and it doesn't seem fair and it doesn't make sense, and you don't understand why. Well, every time one of those personal summers would rev up, it was just a fresh reminder to me that my reproductive years were coming to an end. And the answer was no more babies. No this time. Well, for about two years before then, I slowly. I had always been a very joyful person. And slowly I felt myself becoming sadder and sadder. I couldn't make up my mind if I was still a joyful person going through a season of sadness, or if I was becoming a sad person, which broke my heart. But it was in that moment right there that I had this thought. I know it was from God. And it changed everything. And I thought, is this not the perfect picture of joy and sorrow in the same place? Me having a hot flash in a cow suit? And it made me laugh so hard in spite of all that. And it just was such a light bulb moment for me. Yes, it is. We can. We can live with sorrow and still find moments of joy if we just are open to them and look for them. So that's how it all started.

What a heartwarming, humorous, but also touching story

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Jill, I feel like of all the things. No, of all the things that we would expect, there were so many twists, and I did not expect that at all. But what a heartwarming, humorous, but also touching story. And you're right. I mean, I can picture you in the cow suit, you know, with your hooves on the door, but having this moment of joy and sorrow together. But, I mean, first of all, I feel like I would like to go on vacation with you because I just want to see what kind of adventure might happen from there, because that. You sound like a really fun person. And honestly, there's a lot more for us to talk. Talk about.

Jill Baughan writes a book about how to find joy in life

Jill, there are so many things in your book, and this is a devotional book that you have written, which I think is so appropriate, because learning to find joy, it is a journey, and it's not something that often happens overnight. It's something that can happen. And some of the things that you've said is, you may be sailing along in a cloud of bliss, but more likely you're girding up your loins to face some challenge that elicits a, no, thank you. I'd rather not. From your heart. And you talk about these with things. Certain scriptures, prayers, personal stories, anecdotes, funny and poignant that encourage readers to find pops of joy instead of dwelling on the difficulties. And when I was looking at the difference between happiness and joy, you know, those words are often used interchangeably. But happiness is temporary. It's external. But joy is deeper. It's more enduring, and it comes from a state of contentment and satisfaction. Exactly what you were talking about, even when the answer is from the Lord, is not what you're wanting it to be. But, we're going to continue talking about real life and real faith and how to find joy no matter what's happening around us. And I know what you're thinking, joy in this world. Have you seen my to do list? Have you seen egg prices? Yeah, they're coming down, actually. Not, so much on everything else, but we'll look at it. I get it. Life is hard. And sometimes joy feels really hard to find. But joy is not about how good life looks on the outside. It's about knowing deep down that God is good no matter what. Joy is what carries you when life gets heavy, when things don't go your way, and when your prayers feel unanswered. We'll be right back with more from Jill Baughan when we come back. Don't go away because of listeners like you. PreBorn helped to rescue over 67,000 babies. Your $28 to sponsor one ultrasound doubled a baby's chance at life. Your tax- deductible gift saves lives. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate, go to preborn.com/AFR. this June 24th marks three years since Roe vs Wade was overturned. But here's what you may not know. Abortion numbers have surged to a 10 year high. The battleground has shifted from the courtroom to our homes. Today, over 60% of abortions happen through the abortion pill, taken in silence, often alone. Preborn network clinics are standing in the gap, meeting women in their most desperate hour. And here's what they're seeing. Young mothers, terrified, misled, are delivering their babies, tiny, perfectly formed, onto bathroom floors. These Precious babies, ones called just tissue, now lie lifeless. 11% of these women who take the abortion pill will suffer serious health complications. Countless others carry emotional scars for a lifetime. When you give to PreBorn, you're not just saving a baby, you're saving a mother, too. You're giving her hope, financial support and the truth. PreBorn has already rescued over 350,000 babies. But there are so many more who need our help. Your tax- deductible gift makes this mission possible. To donate now, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250 baby. Or go to preborn.com/AFR. that's preborn.com/AFR. Preborn's whole mission is to rescue babies from abortion and lead their families to Christ. Last year, Preborn's network of clinics saw 8,900 mothers come to Christ. Please join us in this life saving mission. To donate, go to preborn.com/AFR.

>> Known by Tauren Wells: It'S so unusual it's frightening. You. See right through the mess inside me? And you call me out to pull me in? You tell me I can start again and I don't need to keep on hiding I'm fully known And loved. by you you won't let go no matter what I do and it's not one or the other it's hard truth and ridiculous grace to be known fully known and loved by you I'm fully.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: known and loved by you Welcome back, friends. That is known by Tauren Wells. And I, welcome you back today, where we're talking about joy. Now, that's not about how good looks life looks on the outside. It's about knowing deep down that God is good no matter what. And today we are diving into what real, lasting joy looks like. How do we find it? How do we hold on to it when life is messy, how do we choose joy? And even when we don't feel like it? Now, it's not about pretending everything's okay, ignoring life's hardships. It's about seeing beyond them, about what's happening around you, what's unshakable within you. And if we rely on our circumstances to bring joy, we'll always be on an emotional roller coaster. But the good news is we have learned if you're on an emotional roller coaster or a tilt, a whirl, it's possible to throw up and laugh at the same time. If you missed the first segment, that's where we are. We are talking to Jill Baughan about her adventure, who is shared her story, which made me laugh so hard, Jill, about, having a personal summer in a cow suit. If you are just tuning in and you think, what have I missed? What is going on? Go back and listen. But, Jill, you're going to help us to choose joy no matter what. You've written a book, with 90 devotions for experiencing unexpected joy.

How do you define joy and how have you learned to know it

So let's talk about how you define joy. I've talked a little bit about the difference between happiness and joy. How do you see it and how have you learned to know it?

>> Jill Baughan: Right. Well, I have a very short definition for joy, and that is deep delight that feeds your soul. And when you define it like that, deep delight that feeds your soul, you can kind of understand how you might be going through a terrible time and still be able to access somewhere, somehow, a little bit of deep delight that your soul is so hungry for. So it's very simple definition, but it helps, you know? I'm sorry, go ahead.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: No, go ahead. You're good, Jill, Go ahead.

>> Jill Baughan: I was going to say that, I tell people that to that end, that I am not a doctor, I am not a psychiatrist, but I am a curator of joy shots. And, I just collect ways to find joy and pass them on to people. So it dovetails right, right along with that deep delight that feeds your soul.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I think there's a lot of people in this world who are looking for joy, and they wouldn't necessarily say that. They wouldn't say, oh, yes, I am a seeker of joy. I am going around in the world because we do tend to try to make ourselves happy. As I said at the beginning, that is something that culture tells us all the time. Treat yourself. We think about the advent of Happy Meal. That was, from another Jill, that we had on the, on the show talking about that and the interesting cultural narrative. But joy is something deeper and it can be really hard to do. And all of us would say, yeah, I want to be that person that has joy even in the tough times. But what are some concrete ways? How have you learned? Give us some real practical lessons here about how we can find joy no matter what the circumstances are in our lives.

>> Jill Baughan: Well, there are, there are many, believe it or not. One of my favorite ones is to what I call seize and celebrate moments. To pay attention to moments. seizing a moment means you go around and look for moments of joy during a day. One way that my husband and I have found that really has worked for us well, and that is we keep a, one line a day journal. I don't know if you've ever heard of those or not. They're little journals. you can get them anywhere, online. And you can write down just a sentence, a line, one word every day, and then on the next line is the next year. They go for 365 days, and then you go to the next year, then the next year, then the next year, until one little book holds five years worth of entries in it. So we decided that we would write down at the end of every day, we'd write down one good thing that happened that day. Because I love the goodness of God on my mind. Last thing before my head hits the pillow. not the Tasmanian Devil in my mind, that's thinking about everything else that's up, prowling around. So we did that, and it started it January of 2020.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh my goodness. I feel like it should go dun, dun, dun.

>> Jill Baughan: There's something right there. What a year. And we had some terrible things happen that year. And this was not to deny that terrible things happened. Not at all. It was just to remind ourselves that even in those terrible days, there was something. There was something worth being joyful about. I know we took a road trip during that time, and I got so sick. And it was 15 hours of in the car, sick. My poor husband. It was just miserable. We got home, and I looked at that journal, and I thought, what to write today? And all I could think of was, didn't die. That was it. Two words. Good night, go to bed. But you look back. You look back at five years worth, hundreds and hundreds of precious moments, good things that happened during that time. And it's just, a great reminder. Then I tell people that you make it concrete. You sort of train yourself to. And ask God, of course, to help you see those moments. And if you can make it concrete, that's even better. I've used the example of you have a cup of coffee with a friend, and it was such a good time. You bring the cup home. If it's paper, you don't, you know, lift a porcelain cup from somewhere, but you bring the cup home, sit it on the windowsill, and every time you look at it, it will remind you of that time you spent with your friend. we took a raft trip one time and put our ratty, stinky, horrible shoes right next to the front door on the porch. And, we had such a good time. And I noticed that while I was waiting for our shoes to dry out, every time I stick my key in the front door, I'd look to the left and there were those shoes. And it made me smile. So I left them there for, like, two weeks, which would drive some people crazy, but it made me happy. photos. That a lady one time was going through breast cancer. I read her story in the paper years ago, and her husband gave her the tools to make a photo diary. And she took a picture every day of something good that happened. And for us, you actually have to print it out. And I know there are apps for that, but there's something very special about a physical picture. You can do that throughout a season of your life. You can do it during Advent, during Lent. You can do it for a week, you can do it for a month. doesn't have to be for a long time, but it's the same principle that, there's something very, very concrete for you to put on your bedside or put on the table, and somebody picks it up, and they say, what in the world is this? This is a book full of fairly bad pictures, you know, and then you get to experience all that great stuff all over again. It's just a constant reminder.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, what I'm hearing you say in that, Jill, is, a choice. You are making a choice. It's very intentional. Everything that you've just described is an intentional action to choose to find joy in the day. And that can be really hard to do. But, you know, I've just finished up a. Finishing up a Bible study up and going back through the old Testament and looking through numbers and now Deuteronomy. And actually in Deuteronomy, God tells us to remember. So many times it's remember what God has done. Remember his faithfulness. Remember this moment when you know in your life when God showed up. And I think that's what you're saying is cultivating those memories and to have those, even through Covid. I mean, what a special, treasure that would be, an experience that you had with your husband to intentionally curate those moments of joy, just like you said about. About yourself. And, you know, we won't say anything. I hope Kathi Lipp the clutter queen, is not listening right now, because I'm like that, too. She's gonna say something about us putting the cup on our windowsill. But, Kathi, we're just finding joy, okay? So, you know, I think she would. I think she would excuse it. But you know what, Jill? You have said and shared part of your story. You are no stranger to painful times. I mean, you talk about, yes, all of these concrete ways of finding joy, but you don't do it in a trite way. And, like you said, and not acknowledging the painful times in life because you have experienced the sudden death of your father when you were 10. Multiple surgeries, chronic illness, family crises, just infertility, as you shared with us before, those things are very real. How do you find God in a situation like those when, quite honestly, it seems like there is no joy?

>> Jill Baughan: that. That is such a good question, and I'm glad you asked it, because sometimes people will mistake this search for joy as, as I said before, a denial sometimes that there are circumstances where there is no joy in that event. Absolutely none. And I would answer that like this. I think often you have to look inside that big, bad story for something that is worthy of, gratitude or joy that was walking beside it. I know my husband's father, my father in law contracted Covid in April of 2020. We couldn't see him, for several weeks. He was in an Assisted living residence. And then he was taken to the hospital. And we were both close to him. And my husband especially was extremely close to his dad. Well, while he was in the hospital, he was just getting worse and worse. There was this beautiful, wonderful nurse who was at that time suited up like she was in a Hazmat suit. The only way we could communicate with his dad and with her was through her cell phone for FaceTime. She reassured us, I'm not going to leave him alone. He will never be left alone. And she intuitively brought a computer into his room and started to play hymns on this computer while he was lying there just struggling to breathe. She didn't know that seven or eight years before his wife had died. And ever since his wife had died, my mother in law, he would listen to hymns every night to comfort himself, and let God comfort him as he went to bed. So she did that. She couldn't touch him, but through her gloved hand she would stroke his head. she was just the most caring, wonderful person. And she used her own cell phone and she held it up for us to see and for us to talk to him. I can't even tell you how long she did it. It was a long, long time. And finally he was having such trouble breathing. He said he was very clear mind. He was 91 and said, I'm ready to go and what can you say? So, he was disconnected from everything. And she held that phone and we watched and we watched as his breathing got more labored. We watched as his chest rose and fell. And there were longer periods of time between those breaths and, and then at once when his chest failed to rise, my husband said, I think he's gone. And she checked and she nodded her head and she cried with us. Sorry. and we thought, what, What a privilege. And what another perfect picture. How awful is it to see a loved one die on FaceTime? How amazing was it that there was such a thing as FaceTime. And I've often said it was the most beautiful, terrible thing I've ever seen. Terrible to see him struggle to breathe. Beautiful to be there to usher him into the arms of God with his last breath. And we said this wonderful nurse was our joy in that horrible moment when there was no joy. So we thanked her and thanked her. But I think just about any bad story has some kind of joy lurking around in there somewhere beside the catastrophe.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Jill, I am, very tearful right along with you. I've never been more proud of my profession. I love being a nurse. And I salute that nurse that you were talking about because she's a very real person who I am absolutely sure went to her car that night and sat in her car and cried before she could get herself together to go home and see her family. And looking at this again, you know what? The thing that is really convicting me is that you're talking about a choice. It is a terrible situation that is so tragic. And I think about those early days of COVID and so many things that were so unfair and so wrong. The visitor policy and all of those things. You can choose to be bitter about those, you can choose to be angry about those. You can choose to just sit in the injustice of it all, or you can choose to find joy and to know that there's a God who wept alongside you, who grieved alongside you, but will make all things new, will make all things right. That is powerful. I'm going to need a minute to get myself together. Don't go away. We will be right back on the other side of this break talking about finding joy no matter what. the month of June has been hijacked by the anti Christian culture to show their pride in something God calls an abomination. When you support afr, you help us continue to stand for godly values and provide the resources for you to stay in the know about the enemy's tactics. To say thank you for your gift, this month, we'll give you the booklet inside the LGBTQ push of the 1990s. To help strengthen your convictions, just go to afr.net/offers afr.net/offers Jesus over. Everything. He reigns forever more. Our song for all eternity. Jesus Christ is Lord.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That's Jesus Over Everything by the Belonging Company. And let me tell you, it is been a tough season for me. I have just felt like it. There's just trial after trial after trial. But I have felt the Lord's presence so close with me and even in the guests that he has brought. The conversations that we have had, they're so timely and encouraging.

Me and Jill Baughan talk about choosing joy - it's a daily decision

Me and we're talking today about choosing joy. And it is a choice. And I choose to believe that there is a God who sees us, who knows us, who loves us, who will make all things new one day. I don't want to believe that my joy, joy in this life is all that I have. And it's dependent upon my own ability to overcome my circumstances and somehow seek to make things all right in this world. I'm not that powerful. I'm not that smart. I am not that capable. I would much rather choose to believe that God sees us. And I want to choose joy. And I want you to think of joy like a. Well, it's not a wave. Happiness is really like the ocean. It kind of rises and falls with the tides of life. There's waves of happiness that come. There's times where there a little more flat. But joy is like an underground well. It is always there, always available. Even in the dry seasons. Joy is a choice. And it's easy to think that some people are, hey, just naturally more joyful. But in reality, it is a daily decision. It's choosing gratitude over grumbling. It's finding beauty in the little things. Even if that's a cup of coffee on the windowsill reminding you of, of a tender moment that you had with a friend, or if it's just a moment of laughter like we've had today, or a moment of tears. But here's the paradox. Some of the people who have the most joy aren't the ones with the easiest lives. They're the ones who've learned that joy isn't about having more, but about trusting in something greater. And that person we're talking to today is Jill Baughan She's the author of a Devotional no matter what 90 devotions for experiencing Unexpected Joy. And she has told us a really hilarious story about her interview to be in a cow suit that didn't go so well. And the really touching story of losing her father in law during COVID and the joy that she found in a nurse there. See? Oh, that's going to get me right there. I see joy in that moment. But you know, we are not going to leave people there, as you said.

One time you rented a chimpanzee to come and play at your house

Jill and I want to, I want to talk about. There are some lighter things here and one time you rented a chimpanzee to come and play at your house. So tell us this story. I want to know how you. I didn't even know you could rent a chimpanzee. I have so many questions. how did you find joy in this unconventional choice here?

>> Jill Baughan: Well, all things are possible. You know, years and years ago, my mom and I were at the Virginia State Fair. She was in Indiana, where I grew up, but she came to visit. We were at the Virginia State Fair and we passed by this booth where you could get your photo taken with a chimpanzee for only five bucks. I begged her, mom, mom, let's get our picture taken with the chimp. Let's do it. Let's do it. And keep in mind, I was a grown woman with a child then. I was not 10 years old. She was 70. I was 35. I was begging her like I was 10. She refused and refused and refused. And finally I said, why not? And she thought a minute and said, well, somebody might look at that picture 50 years from now and think it's a three generation photo. And she just left it like that. She was not even trying to be funny about that. So we missed that opportunity. She never would do it. Well, 20 years later, me living in Virginia, along with, my family in Indiana, we were going to have a, big event. And I thought, this is probably the last time all of my family will be in Virginia with me. What am I going to do with all these people for three days? I was lying in bed one night and I thought, I know, what if I could redeem that moment that my mom and I missed 20 years ago? I wonder if I could find a photographable chimpanzee. So, you know, what do you do? You network. I just put it out to everybody. Anybody know where I can get a chimp? Do you know? In the same county where I live was a man with a zoo on his property and a chimp that lived in his house? So I called him up and I said, here's what's going on. Please don't think I'm crazy, but, can I. Can I pay you for us to use your chimp for a little while? And he said, oh, yeah, that would be great. He said, but it's December and your mom is elderly. You don't want her to get cold and be outside. He said, why don't I bring the chimp to your house? I was ready to have a party right there. I thought, who gets a chimpanzee in their house? Who can say that? Almost nobody. So the time came and we had a backdrop. And my husband's cousin was a photographer. So we, put the backdrop up. And my mom thought we were just going to take family photos because so many of us were there. When I saw that and the handler come up the sidewalk, ring the doorbell, and I said, mom, put on some lipstick. I got a surprise for you. I said, do you remember so many years ago? And she said, yeah, yeah, I remember. So she was all about it this time. For 90 of the most joyful minutes of my entire life, we all frolicked around with that chimp. We would lie down on the floor, she would roll over us, she would take grapes out of our mouths, she would jump and Play. It was amazing. And about 300 pictures later, my husband's cousin took the family photo with the chimp right in the front, like one of the children. And I said, this is one of those pictures that somebody's going to look at it someday and say, I know everybody else, but who is the kid in the front looks like the rest of them, but is unidentifiable. The sweetest moment of the day was when my mom and I sat down for that picture with the chimp. I so wish I could show it to you now.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I so want to see it.

>> Jill Baughan: I'll mail it to you. that picture sits on my dresser even now. And it reminds me of two things. Number one, of that precious moment that I will forever thank God for just the height of joy. But the second reason is I look at it every day, and it reminds me that there are moments of joy to be had today. Don't miss them. So then there's a P.S. to this story. My mom lived to be 99 years old. And when it was time to make arrangements for her memorial service, we met with the pastor and with the funeral director. And he said, you know, we have a little bulletin that we hand out, that tells about her and all. We need a picture. And my brother looked at me, and he said, I have an idea, but it might be inappropriate. And I said, inappropriate is our middle name. Let's go. I knew what he had in mind. So, my mother's funeral bulletin. We had a picture of her and a chimpanzee, and we got to tell that story. Story over and over and over again in her service, outside her service. And I said, one more picture of joy and sorrow in the same place.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: It is. It's. Well, it's about making a choice. We've talked about that, and you've demonstrated in several ways, Jill, how you chose joy. You made an intentional choice. And I think another great lesson that I'm thinking about is stepping out of your comfort zone a little bit. Because so often we think joy has to be looking a certain way. You know, joy is a new car with a big, shiny bow on the top. Or, you know, joy is kind of some of those more like curated moments. But sometimes joy can come from just plain silliness. You know, just from having fun and being in the moment and creating that memory together, just doing something together, having an adventure, stepping out of your comfort zone. I really, really love that. And what a sweet memory of your mom. And I know, Jill, that one of the other things that really Grounds you in seeking joy is scripture. Finding certain scripture passages. What are your key go to's that you reach for when you're struggling to find joy? What verses help you to make that choice? To, to step out of your comfort zone and to choose joy?

>> Jill Baughan: that is so easy. My favorite. Philippians 4, 8. which says, summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious. This is my favorite part. The best, not the worst. The beautiful, not the ugly things to praise and not to curse. Always my favorite. And I will say that, there's an author named Tommy Newberry who writes about joy a lot. And he calls it mental discipline, which sounds horrible. It sounds like what I call low carb thinking, just no fun at all. But he said this, and I would love to share this quote from him because I just can't forget it. He says that though God's grace doesn't require mental discipline, living a life of joyful excellence must be preceded by it.

>> Jill Baughan: I call this in layman's terms, changing the channel. And I say it to myself on the regular. When I find my mind spiraling or my attitude or my day, I will tell myself, and I'll say it out loud too. I'll say, jill, change the channel. You know, it's time to flip that channel and focus on the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly. Something to praise, not something to curse.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: And it's a great tool that is really challenging. And it reminds me of John chapter 15, when Jesus is talking to the disciples. And of course this is the passage where he tells them, I am the vine, you are the branches. He tells them all about God's love. And then in verse 11 he says, I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. And then he goes on, the next section is titled the World Hates the Disciples. So it's, you know, you see that like let me tell you about joy. Hey, people are going to hate you. That doesn't seem like that goes together, but I think it's such a beautiful concept of what you're talking about. Like joy and sorrow can coexist, but we have to choose to change the channel in our brain. What are we going to focus on? And focusing on the good things of God. And, and one of my, one of my kids, their favorite verses is Psalm 16:11. In your presence there is fullness of joy. And that's what it says in John 15. So I've said this so that your joy may be full. And when we think of joyful, full of joy, it can be really hard to do. But you've demonstrated so well how we do that. And so how do you want your readers to experience your devotional journey? As, as the if somebody is looking for joy and thinking, you know what, that's me. I'm convicted. I need to change the channel in my brain. I need to choose joy. I need to put on the cow, cow suit. I need to get on the tilt a whirl. What will they find in this devotional journey with you?

>> Jill Baughan: Well, there are serious things in this journey to, because there are many, many stories and it's not a sugar coated experience. However, there is a sense of humor in this devotional and I hope that people can experience joy while they read and then have hope for joy after they put the book down. Because I think my stories are everybody's stories and there is so much hope for deep delight that feeds your soul, if you just, just look for it. also I wrote it so that by the end of this book I want people to feel like they know me and will feel like they've had 90 days of encouragement from a friend. I love it when I can feel like I am acquainted, almost a friend with an author because we shared, shared stories. So I hope that's how people experience this book as encouragement from a friend from God. Hope for joy even after you put the book down.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is exactly what you said. It's their invitation to journey with you. By the end of the book, you hope that you'll feel as though you've had 90 days of encouragement from a friend. That's exactly what you said.

The book is called no matter what 90 devotions for experiencing unexpected joy

Well, the book is called no matter what 90 devotions for experiencing Unexpected Joy. And I hope you've been encouraged in that today to find the fullness of joy. I promise you. Promise you. Promise you. Joy is not found in success and stuff or the next big thing. Jill. We talked about that on Monday with Rebecca George. This whole if then, like, if I could just have this, if I could just get to this life stage, if this would just happen and then I will be happy. But joy just so is found in God himself. And so if you've been running on empty, try diving into how to live a life with joy that lasts no matter what life is going to throw your way. Fullness of joy. It's not partial, it's not temporary. If you're feeling drained. If life is heavy, don't miss out on on joy. And wherever you are in your joy journey, I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you, that he'll be gracious to you, that he will lift his countenance upon you and that you will experience the fullness of joy. Thanks so much for joining us today. We've got another great show lined up for you tomorrow. Tomorrow we're talking all things baseball for kids with special needs. You won't want to miss it. Super heartwarming. I'll see you then. Don't forget to catch up on the Doctor, Nurse and Mama coaching minutes. And Friday we'll have Ask Doctor Nurse, Mama Friday where I'll talk about how to apologize to your family. See you then.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.