Transcript

Dr. Jessica Peck is prescribing Hope for healthy families on American Family Radio

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck. Well, hey there, friends, and welcome, welcome, welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for healthy families. Listen, I am sorry. So glad that you are here. It is no coincidence that you are here. I do not believe in coincidence. I believe that God is so kind and so good to orchestrate every detail of our lives. And if you're listening here today, we are holding a gentle space for families whose hearts are really heavy with a very specific kind of worry, A, very secret kind of struggle. Something that is more common than you think. We are talking to those families today who have children who have walked away from the Lord. Children they would call prodigal. Children they would call just struggling. And if your child has wandered away or you're feeling the ache of that distance, of that broken relationship, I want you to know that you are deeply seen and you are not alone. This is a place of kindness, of hope, of understanding, of courage. And we are going to honor the love that never gets gives up on us. That is the love of God, his patience that endures, and the hope that shines even in the darkest moment. And my guest today has walked this path. I am so grateful to have Laine Lawson Craft. She is a best selling author of several books and has been all over media. You can find her at Laine that's L A I n e lainelawsoncraft.com and she's written a book called "Warfare Parenting: A Daily Battle Plan to Fight for Your Child." Now, it doesn't matter how old your child is, if your child is in those teen years, if they are in the early adult years, if they are well into their adult years, we have a role to play. And Laine is going to share about that from her own journey. So, Laine thank you so much for being here today. This is a tough thing to talk about and I'm so grateful that you have the courage and the grace to do it.

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Well, thank you so much. And you know, I said this is a very urgent message, for parents, the world today is very dark. And I love that you said two things. One is, you know, what is a prodigal? A prodigal can be a child, like you said, that's walked away from faith. It can be a child just in rebellion. And this child can be 50 years old. You know, we've got a Lot of, adult children that have walked into lifestyles or choices that we didn't dream or imagine. And we are praying that God will bring them back on track. So thank you again for having me today.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, Laine I know this book and this story, this message comes out of your own personal walk. And it is so hard because I would love it if the Lord would just inspire us and just say, oh, I know you haven't walked this path, but I'm going to give you this bit of wisdom. It doesn't come from that. It comes from the places that are hard fought and that are really difficult and that come from a place of pain. But we know that from the Bible. We know that God uses flawed stories and flawed characters and he uses those to showcase his redemption and his grace.

Laine Lawson Craft has the Warfare Parenting podcast

So I would love for you just to start by introducing yourself to our listeners and telling them a little bit about your story and what brought you to this place of this message.

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Yes, I'm Laine Lawson Craft, and I am a best selling author and I have the Warfare Parenting podcast. But this all came out of a mission field at, my home at the time, I had three prodigals. God had resurrected our dead marriage and, had asked me to leave the secular world, to start a community of women to show them that he's still moving today. And at that time I just walked it out and it led to a very large national platform. I actually had a magazine called Woe Women. It was in every book store in America and Canada with such people like Dolly Parton and all the Duck Dynasty ladies. And what it was, it was a Jesus magazine. It looked like Family Circle or Woman's, Day or Oprah, but inside was Jesus from COVID to cover. The reason I mentioned that is I never believed that God would use me in that capacity. And at the same time, my three children were battling the darkness of the world. And you know, that brings in itself, like you said earlier, a sense of shame. And we don't talk about it. You know, there's something that we have in our, in our culture that says our children are a reflection of us. And, and that's clearly not true. So if you're out there today and you love the Lord and you've been standing in the gap for a child, I get it. And listen, this is going to be a wonderful show, right? This is gonna be great.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Absolutely. Because we have prayed over it and we have asked God to bless it and that is just such a specific part of the strategy and you have this strategy called warfare parenting. And you know what, Lane? You're right. We live in a world that is really dark and really scary. And sometimes we can hear the world's bad news coming to us, delivered at the speed of a smartphone. And it seems like it's scarier. But I read in the Bible there I was just actually talking to my producer about my Bible study through Judges. And there are dark, terrible things that happen in the book of Judges. And the truth is that since the fall, we have seen sin break the world. And these sins have not changed. Maybe the ways in which they are expressed has changed, but the world has changed in the way that we have to respond and connect with our kids and develop relationships. Because what I'm seeing like never before is there is a desire of people who have nefarious m. nefarious intentions. They want to fill that void, that loss of connection, that relationship. It is very easy for people to walk out the door and to find a community of like minded people who will be their echo chamber, who will tell them, oh, yes, you are right, they are wrong. You can be with us. And that just wasn't as easily accessible before. And so when we see this world that looks so depressing.

Laine says three of her children battled lures of the enemy

Let's start with Laine How did you see this warfare strategy? How did you feel called to really go to war for your children?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Right. Well, I believe the biggest moment for me was when I realized that I was not in war with my children. I was in war with the enemy to seek, kill and destroy them. And what I mean by that, all, three of my children had very unique, lures of the enemy. my daughter battled a dark voice. At one point, about 17 or 18, she heard a voice. A beautiful senior in high school, wonderful artist, wonderful child. Just a kind heart. He said to a friend after a Bible study, sobbing. I keep hearing this voice in my head that life would be better without me. And praise God, that friend grabbed her hands and they began to pray. And, and Haley said immediately God came down and dried up those tears. And she felt a warmth from her head to her toe. And she has used that experience, that personal, intimate experience of God coming down and rescuing her and delivering her from depression to help so many others since then. And, my other two boys, we can get into that. I know we've got three segments, but they both battled with alcohol, drugs, many things, many wrong choices. Certainly not in God's plan. And, so what I'm saying, when I realized that I wasn't in war with these children, I was in war with the enemy. Bringing these distractions and deceptions and invitations to just real evil. that's when I upped my ante and decided I am fixing to go to war in the spirit.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I love that because I think sometimes in today's day and age, we get so hyper fixated on fighting the world, fighting against all of the evil in the world. And Laine I think this message translates to our kids. They, they don't see us as fighting for them. They don't see us as fighting the enemy for their heart, for their mind. They see us as fighting against them. And sometimes it's because, just as you, suggested, we frame it that way, we think, oh, this is what I need to fight against in you. But it really is such a bigger battle than that. And I think you're right in looking at, you know, the, the way that the world is so dark and so, it's so difficult to fight. And so what do you, what do you see as the way that we used to parent in the past? What do you see as things that are not working and in today's day and age, in ways that we need to adapt our strategy to fight these modern threats?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: What a great question. I would say, first and foremost, I would tell parents today, back in the day, you see no evil, tell no evil, that whole thing. Listen, we've got to sit down with our children starting at a very early age. The reason I say that, there's a new study that came out and they say the average age of a child that sees porn for the first time is six years old. That's shocking when I tell you. Shocking. So when I tell you technology has changed our world and our culture and the way we parent. So what I would first tell a parent is start communicating with your child early about good things, good pictures, good, bad pictures, you know, their body parts are theirs and all those kind of things, first and foremost. Secondly, I did it. I completely confess. I thought if I avoided some of those harder conversations, that I was protecting them. And I found out real clearly I was not. I did not provide them, the outs for what they were fixing to walk into. So I would tell parents, yes, it's difficult to start those hard conversations, possibly about, you know, lifestyle issues, that they may go to a friend's house or addictions, or you may be presented with this. We've got to start those conversations earlier than we wanted to, because if we don't, then we're not equipping them to battle it on their own. Does that make sense?

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I agree with that. And that is something that's really difficult for parents because we grew up in such a different generation. Laine I see this generation gap where parents are parenting children who are experiencing exposures and threats that simply did not exist when we were growing up. And it's really hard to anticipate those because we just don't see it coming. And we feel perpetually blindsided. That leads to fatigue because we think we're just tired of being blindsided, of feeling uncertain, of not knowing what could come. And that is really exhausting. So just to reiterate what you said, Laine I think we do have to talk to kids early and often. We've got to talk to them in a way that's developmentally appropriate. We don't have to scare them to death. We don't have to tell them every nitty gritty detail. You don't have to be graphic or excessive, but you just need to give them enough information that says, I am an open door. You can come and talk to me about anything. I tell my kids this all the time, Laine You can always talk to me about anything. And they usually roll their eyes and say, yeah, yeah, I know, mom. But if you're not saying it till they're rolling their eyes saying, I know, mom, then you're not saying it. You're positioning yourself as the expert.

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Yes. And listen, I think what you said, it's so imperative to know, too. It's how you say it. So when I talk to parents about this early age, I, tell them, smile as you address some of these difficult subjects, because we don't want them to be fearful. Does that make sense? We smile and say, listen, if somebody comes to and tries to do this, you come tell mom, do you see where I'm going? If we go, if this happens? And da, da, da, da, da. We're real dramatic. Then. Then they're scared. And then they're scared to come to you when you. When something may happen.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: They also are scared of shocking you. They're scared of offending you. I mean, m. Because really, if you're not used to having these conversations. That goes to your second point, Laine Don't avoid the hard conversations, because you are absolutely going to have hard conversations with your kids. You just get to choose, you have some degree of control in the way that exposure happens. And if you have them early and say, hey, we gotta talk about something really difficult, but balance that with fun, you know, they don't need everything to be so intense and so fear based and so fear driven. Because God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.

We can love people who are struggling in a sound mind to make decisions

I tell my kids this all the time too, when they're exposed to something. I say, God has given you a spirit of power. You have power in this situation. Here's how you can escape it, here's how you can respond to it. And love. We can love people who are struggling in a sound mind to make those decisions. And he's given you, he's given me to you to walk alongside this. But it's just gotta be that open communication.

When we come back, Laine Lawson Craft will discuss prodigal journeys

Well, Laine when we come back, we have so much more to talk about. And I want to talk about that prodigal journey occurring at various stages of life, even adult prodigals, and how we respond across that lifespan. And I also want to talk more about the shame and stigma that is associated with this. I see so many people who carry this secret burden. We want to free them, to pray for their kids, to fight for their kids, and most of all, not to give up. because it can be so easy to think. It's been so long, Lord, it's been years, it's been decades. It's just not going to happen. But we do serve a God who loves to do the impossible. So we'll talk about having hope regardless of the outcome. Don't go away. We'll be right back with Laine Lawson Craft.

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>> For The Good by Riley Clemmons : Can bring the healing to the hurt I hold? Who else could part the waters when I needed way though I'm walking through the valley I believe when you say I believe when you say for the good, for the good you work all things together for the good, for the good your promise stands forever, you alone are my greatest hope I trust you on the broken road you work all things together like only You could For the good.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is For the Good by Riley Clemmons and just sitting here getting goosebumps listening to those lyrics.

We're talking to Laine Lawson Craft about loving a prodigal child

If you are walking through the valley, if you are holding a hurt we are stepping into a tender conversation today, one that many families carry very quietly, especially within communities of faith. We're talking about the journey of loving a prodigal child, and too often this road is just accompanied by silence and by shame and by stigma. But here we are inviting you to lay that burden down. It's a space of grace where you can speak honestly, where we love unconditionally, and we can just remind each other that God's mercy is wider than our deepest fears. And no story is too far gone, no heart is too far lost. Hope is alive. Healing is possible because we worship a God who loves to do impossible things. And we're talking today to someone who has walked this road. We're talking to Laine Lawson Craft. She is the author of a book called Warfare Parenting. It is a daily battle plan to fight for your child. And I would just encourage you if you are struggling with your relationship with your child. If you feel like they are running, they are walking away, they are drifting. If you want to be intentional, this is a great resource for you to pick up that gives you daily devotionals. There is one for every day. You can start it here today and go a year and commit to daily Pray for your child. And now that doesn't guarantee an outcome, but God does guarantee that he will walk alongside you in that. And Laine we were just talking about the shame and the stigma that often comes along with having a prodigal child. It is something that you talked about earlier. We take that identity on ourselves and we underestimate the power of free will. And we know that we have a perfect father and God. And yet we are not perfect children. And we are imperfect parents. We cannot expect perfect children. And sometimes, you know, our children choose to walk away. Sometimes they experience trauma, trial, tribulation. That's just too great to bear. And it is difficult for their human soul to. To bear that. How have you come m today and in your ministry, how have you come to a place where you have the freedom to say, yeah, that was me. I've heard you. I've heard you, Laine I've heard you share about your marriage. You've shared some raw, really brokenness. How do you have the freedom to do that and still do it with a smile in your soul?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: I. The freedom comes with the healing. you know, that was really a big part of the three prodigal story. You know, the Warfare Parenting 365 devotional is really an accompanying book to the parents Battle plan Warfare Strategies to Win Back youk Prodigal. It was the nonfiction book of the year in 2023. And it literally goes, you know, chapter by chapter, giving parents, Christian parents, the spiritual side and perspective, how we bring our prodigals back. But this Warfare Parenting, the wonderful thing about it is that it gives you hope and power every day because it gets very weary in the battle. But, your original question was, how do I have the freedom? And it is because, God did come and resurrect our 17 year old marriage. We, we were both entrepreneurs. Life layered on us. A lot of things happened and it was to a point where we were living on opposite ends of the house and we loved to hate each other. And we decided that we were probably going to get remarried because we were in our late 30s and pretty successful. But we said, if we're going to start over with somebody else, could we look up to the heavens this God that we go to church and worship and sing praises to and ask him will he come in and do a miracle in our marriage? And he did. And the reason I think that's such a powerful part of this story is that was the anchor. That miracle, that resurrected dead marriage that God brought life back to was the Anchor when I had three children. And remember my eldest child was 15 years wayward in drugs, alcohol, womanizing for 15 years. So, we. That we didn't know it at the time, but that marriage restoration, the miracle in our marriage, was actually the rock we stood on. To believe that God would do that for our three children.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is really amazing to know that and to see that miracle. And I know there are a lot of people out there who are still praying for that and people who are looking and walking in the brokenness of family relationships, of being broken from their spouse, being broken from their children. And when you see that relationship, you see that person walking away. You know, like we talked about, Laine it can happen in those early teenage years. It's happening earlier and earlier. I'm seeing preteen children, younger children even, just with that heart of rebelliousness and that pain that that comes from. But it can happen in the early adulthood years and the later years. When you start to see that happening, I think a panic kind of takes in and you just, you kind of have this uneasy truce, like, okay, well, maybe things will settle out. But what is that? Looking back now, when you start to see that, when you realize it, when you can actually say it out loud, okay, I am in this situation. What should you do? Let's see. hold on just a second. These are the joys of live radio. Let's see if we lost Laine Laine are you there? Okay, hold on. We're gonna see. All right, I'm gonna. Okay. All right. Okay. We lost Laine for just a second. And so I'll, I'll continue on until we get her back. Because this is such an important topic to talk about. And I think when you realize that that is there, sometimes we just feel frozen. We just feel we're afraid. But we're most afraid that somebody will find out about it more than we're afraid that of, of, the actual fear. I know I've seen this in my family before too. When we see people reaching out to cope with unhealthy coping mechanisms, whether that is perfection, whether that's achievement, whether that's substances, whether that is unhealthy relationships, whether that's risk taking behaviors, there's all kinds of ways that people can have unhealthy coping behaviors. And I found that we were more afraid of the fear. We were afraid of a fatal injury, of falling from the pedestal that we had put ourselves on. Then we were afraid of the fear of death that was staring us right in the face. Because many of these coping behaviors are so destructive. And that is the way that Satan intends it to be. The thief comes to steal, to kill, to destroy. And so he does. He steals our joy, he kills our family relationships, he destroys our homes and our feelings of safety. Those are things that happen. And we are often complicit in that with our unhealthy coping mechanisms. But I have found that being intentional and praying about it, knowing that you have to be at peace, whatever the outcome may be, and, but knowing also that God can do the impossible, that is a tough but wonderful place to be. And I don't know if any of you saw this movie, but I remember some years ago, actually almost a decade ago, I think being in the movie theater and seeing a movie called War Room. It was a movie by the Kendrick brothers, talking about prayer as a powerful weapon. And I really do believe that we underestimate the value of prayer. And sometimes we just feel like we don't get that immediate result. We don't get that immediate answer to prayer. And so we think, oh, God's not listening or this isn't going to happen. And we just give up. And we cannot give up. And I think we have Laine back. So, Laine I would love for you to talk about just the importance of being intentional and using prayer and your spiritual armor while you're fighting for your loved one.

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Well, absolutely, and I'm sorry for technology. But listen, this is when I had that aha moment and I realized I wasn't in war with my children, I was in war with the enemy. I began to see it in a spiritual way. And that's when my prayers went from these what I call cute little prayers, you know, God, please be with my child tonight. It was God in the name of Jesus. I started warring in the power of the blood of the cross because we all know we don't really talk enough about that today. But that's where all the power is. That's where authority. That's where everything happens. And so I literally began to paint, across from the back of my kits, backs in my mind with the blood of Christ, and I would say, father God, in the name of Jesus and the blood of Christ, please protect them because they needed protection from their self destructive choices and dark voices. And then father God, give them your wisdom. Because I knew if God could give them his wisdom, then their lives would turn around. And so I believe with everything in me that prayer is not our last resort. It is our first essential weapon against the enemy after our children today you.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Know, one of the things that I find, Laine is that if I, pray over something earnestly, and I know that I have brought that request before the Lord, and I prayed about it, and I poured my heart out to him. And he knows exactly how I feel, what I want in that moment. Laine if he says no, I feel so much more peace because I feel like I've done everything I can. God knows my heart. He knows this. And I think about a relationship that I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would restore. And I thought, how could restored relationships not be a good thing? But God, in his infinite wisdom, which is so much greater than ours, saw that it wouldn't be a good thing. And he knew it better than I did at that time. And now I can look back and I can see, okay, some distance in that relationship was a good thing that I didn't see at the time. But prayer, it's not a way to, you know, pray. Like to get a Santa Claus in the sky and say, okay, this is what I want. Now you give me what I want. It is really a way for us to pour out our hearts before the Lord and to know that he loves our children. He loves us more than we could possibly ever love them. And I think, you know, there are a lot of parents laying who have a really hard time. They may say, okay, I can pray for my kids. That's something I definitely need to do. I need to do it more. I'm convicted. Okay, I'll pray. I'll pick up warfare, parenting. I'll pray every day. But the practical, everyday living, Laine that's where it's hard. How do you honor your beliefs without feeling like you're condoning their choices that are literally destroying them? How do you walk in that space of love and grace with truth?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Well, it's, ah, a very fine line. It's probably the most difficult place for a parent to be truthful. Because you love them deeply. We all love our children, but we don't love the choices. For me, it was, you know, I love you, Steven, but I don't love the choices you continue to make. So that's the first and foremost. You have to. You have to distinguish, you know, the love for your child, but not the sin. And then, you know, you. You just have to. I tell parents all the time they're broken. When you start looking at your children not as rebellious, not as defiant, more in the fact that they're broken, it really helps you as parents not to lose it on them, and to Be so angry, you know, because we are hurt. You know, we're hurt when our children continue to defy our hopes of where they would be. And more than that, not being in God's best place. Right. So it is a fine line. So I just encourage parents to, you know, out of the abundance of the love God has given us and the mercy and grace that we poured out to our children. But I'm not saying we agree with the choices or their lifestyle. We are loving them in an unconditional way, leaving an opportunity because we believe, because we're standing in agreement with heaven that that prodigal is coming home. And then it makes it so much easier.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: I think this is where you just have to walk in community with other believers.

Your struggle with your wayward child can feel isolating

Laine I think that this is such a hard journey to walk alone. And there are a lot of things that feel very gray. And when you're thinking about them in your own mind, it's easy to kind of just get lost in your thoughts and to really overanalyze, to hyper analyze. But if you can go to someone you trust. Not everyone needs to know everything, but somebody needs to know something. Someone who is wise, who is mature in their walk with Christ, someone who is going to speak truth to you, to be able to go and talk through those situations and say, what can I do? Seeking that wise counsel, going to the word of God, praying about those decisions, and praying that God would help you to show love while also speaking truth. I think you're so right. It's such a fine line, and it's really, really hard to do that. And I look at, you know, some of the. Some of the things that you have said. You have just walked this journey. And so, one thing that you wrote in your book, Laine was that you've probably tried everything, conversations, interventions, maybe even therapy. At times, it may feel like you're fighting an impossible battle, but God specializes in the impossible. Your kid might be in a pit so deep you can't reach them, but God can. So take a step back and let the God of impossibilities do his thing. Remember, you're not the Savior. He is. Your job is to trust, believe, and hope against hope. And without God, nothing is truly lost. Nothing is impossible. Your struggle with your wayward child can feel isolating. But know this. God is closer than you think. When you are fighting to guide your child back to the right path. You are a parent who fears God, who reverently seeks his will. That's your superpower in this battle for your child's. Soul. And Laine when we come back in our third segment here, I want to talk some more about declaring victory because I talk to so many families and so many friends, so many people who just feel exhausted and think this is just never going to happen. I'm at peace with it. How do we declare victory and how do we facilitate forgiveness? When a prodigal returns, what do we do? We'll have more with Laine Lawson Craft when we come back. You can find out more about her podcast, her books, her ministry at lainelawsoncraft.com that's lainelawsoncraft.com Listen, don't go away. We'll be right back with more help and hope coming your way. Dr. Ligon Duncan from the American Family Studios documentary the God who Speaks Paul.

>> Dr. Ligon Duncan: Says, remember that the sacred scriptures teach us the way of salvation, which is by faith in Christ. And in the first instance, Paul is talking about the Old Testament. So here's a New Testament letter written to a minister of the Word who already knows about the Word because he's been preaching the Word for maybe a decade. And yet Paul is exhorting him to continue in his high view of the Word and even reminding him that the Old Testament reveals salvation, which is by faith in Jesus Christ. And then in 2 Timothy 3:16, he unloads perhaps the greatest single verse in all the New Testament about the authority of scripture. All scripture is God breathed or breathed out of the mouth of God Visit thegodwhospeaks.org so I won't be shaken.

>> Speak To The Mountains by Chris McClarney: I won't be moved. My God is faithful. His promise is true. So I speak to the mountains Oh, it's time to move. Cause my God is bigger, better, stronger, greater.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That song is Speak to the mountains by Chris McClarney Ah, I got goosebumps listening to that. Listen, we have some families out there who are fighting a battle. I know it. I know it. I know that there are families who have children, who have family members, who have walked away from the Lord, who are running, who are in pain, who are coping destructively. And it is so hard to sit back and watch. And if your heart has known that ache, you also know quiet prayers, you know, sleepless nights, you know, the longing for a homecoming that somehow you think may never happen. But today we are leaning into a message of victory. And not because every story is wrapped up neatly, not because there's a happy ending for everything, but because love, love never stops reaching. Because our God is bigger, better, stronger and greater than any problem than we could ever face. And when our loved ones do return, whether that's with open arms or hesitant steps, we have the power to meet them with grace, not judgment. We can meet them with forgiveness and not fear because we can trust God with the outcome. And we're talking today to somebody who has walked that road. Laine Lawson Craft. She's written a book, this is a devotional book to accompany her other book that she wrote about this. I would encourage you, if this is something that you are walking through and you've just been floating and you've just been waiting and you just been wondering, thinking, what's going to happen? Make your battle plan. What's going to happen? Commit to a daily battle plan to fight for your child. Not just to fight against the influences in the world, but to fight for your child and to know that no prayer is wasted. No prayer is wasted. No life is too far gone.

Laine, you've had three children who have walked this road

And Laine I would love to just start with, before we talk about some victory and forgiveness, what is the, update for you? You've shared very openly that you've had three children who have walked this road. What, what does life look like for you today?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Yes, and, and praise God. And listen, I do want to say one thing, and it's in my parents battle plan. I don't want to be Pollyanna. I don't want to parents to think that I don't get it with the fentanyl poisonings and suicide rates at the rate they are. Listen, sometimes, you know, war has casualties and I just want to speak to that parent today if maybe they're fighting for one here in the natural and one is already gone. That, that the miracle you prayed for may not be what you're living, but the miracle is you are living and that God loves you and that he promises we will be reunited. And so I had to say that I am so blessed that God, came in and delivered and rescued all three of my prodigals. Now they are 30, 31 and 34. my eldest son, that was the longest prodigal. He is a daddy, of a little girl and they're fixing to have another one. He owns his own insurance brokerage and doing fantastic. His wife is a wonderful, beautiful. They are just on fire for the Lord. And then Lawson is single, he's 31. He owns his own real estate company. And then my daughter kaylee is mom, 30, in Texas and has a little boy and is having another little boy soon. And so, the beauty in this story is the victory. But I also know how hard it is in the deepest, despair in the middle of the battle. And I know that God is using these three prodigal stories of coming home for so many today that are just in the waiting.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, Laine I, praise God for that. Praise God for your story. And I think that, you know, there is a temptation sometimes to feel a little jealousy when you hear stories like that, thinking, well, why didn't my story end like that? But I think we can find hope in your story. And victory is not the same thing as a happy ending. Victory does not equal a happy ending. Sometimes the victory is in your own life. Sometimes the victory is in your own walk of faith. And some things, some wounds are not going to be healed this side of heaven. But we can't lose faith and hope that God will do that. And I think about this. You know, honestly, Laine I wrote about this in my own book, Behind Closed Doors, a guide to help parents and teens navigate through life's toughest issues. I wrote specifically about substance abuse. That is something that you and I share in, looking at family members who have walked through that. And it's such a giant. And I talked about how addiction is a giant. And the most notorious, giant in the Bible, of course, would be Goliath. But we look at what David said when he went to fight Goliath. This is from First Samuel. This is a verse that I shared. And that really made a difference to me because I thought, here is David going with five stones and a slingshot. Now, he didn't just walk in there blind. He had been prepared. He had been in the wilderness. He had been trained. He knew how to use those. But he walks into this giant, and it seems impossible. And he says this. He says, you come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied this day, the Lord will deliver you into my hands. And that was so convicting to me, Laine just thinking that's the kind of mindset that we need to have in victory and be obedient to walk that and trust God with the outcome. So what do you. You see as victory? How do we talk about that, knowing that not all stories are going to have a happy ending this side of heaven?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Well, I think what kept me going with that mindset of victory is I waited expectantly. I don't know if that makes sense, but what I'm saying is, you know, we can wait and Cry and moan and maybe lack belief. And that's okay. You know, it says, God, please help me with my unbelief. But when we turn that around and go God, I don't see it. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna believe and wait expectantly that anytime. you know, I had a revelation when, when reading, the Prodigal Son recently again. You, know it says the father looked way down the path and saw his son. And that just backed up that expectant mindset. We believe with everything in you that God loves that child more than you, more than we can fathom imagine. And that he hears your prayers and you're standing in the gap and waiting expectantly for that victory. And when I saw that in my mind that the Father. And we're looking at that as our heavenly Father, as the prodigal Son, it says he looked and he saw him way down the road. You know, sometimes we look at our children at the right now, you know, I did, like I said, I looked at him right now in jail again, I looked at him right now, you know, on drugs. And they said they were going to be off. But. But when I started looking way past that and believing God to turn it around and just not taking any other negative mindset, that's the. Listen, it healed me too, right? Because it made me stand courageously and boldly in that expectant belief that victory was on the way.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: that is a good word. And because it's hard, we expect this. When we expect a prodigal to come home. You kind of expect it to be like a made for TV movie, right? There's going to be some music swelling, the door is going to open and you know, it's going to be beautiful. And the everything is scripted, but the realities of those moments are often messier than that. And I love what you say Laine about looking way down the road and so seeing it coming. But also the celebration that the Father had and that forgiveness.

Knowing that rebuilding trust takes time and forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting

So what does that look like when you do have somebody who has been wandering, who wants to come home? What does that look like to facilitate forgiveness and healing? Knowing that rebuilding trust takes time and forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. There still have to be healthy boundaries. But what does that look like in starting to nurture that relationship, absent the made for TV moment?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: M. Well, you first have to recognize it's a process. It is not a made for movie. It is not going to McDonald's and ordering french fries and getting it in just one second. So you Know, once you realize and calm your spirit and realize this is. This is going to be a process. But I can tell you from our experience, sorry is a great beginning for everybody. Meaning to that child that says, I really want to turn from the way I've done. And I, you know, I. Blah, blah, blah. You start with, well, you know, I'm just so sorry that we ever got here. It just right there, that kid sees that your heart. Your heart was never to be mean or kick them out or, you know, to. To judge them. It was that you were just sorry that you ever had to get on that path. When you start that kind of vulnerability with your child. Child, and just say, you know, I'm, just so sorry we even have to go down this path. But I'm so excited that we're going to find a way for this process of healing and restore our family.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That is powerful, and that's easier said than done. Laine when you say I'm sorry, you're right. If you. If you just say, I'm sorry we ever got here. I'm sorry you've experienced so much pain. I'm sorry that you have found yourself in this situation. I'm sorry that you're hurting. If you can acknowledge that, that's a great place to start. And Laine as I've shared many times, nobody is perfect. No parent is perfect. And I've seen a lot of kids who are prodigal, who carry those hurts from their parents. And of course, they have their own choices, they have their own accountability. But I think sometimes as parents, we kind of look at it and we start measuring it. We think, well, you are 99.9% of the problem, and I am 0.1% of the problem. There's no ever, you know, person who did everything absolutely perfectly. And Laine what do you think about having the courage to step out and say, and model that. That extension of forgiveness? First saying, hey, I know that I did this because they say, yep, see, that's all your fault. But knowing that that is not the case. That is not the truth. How do you, There's. But there's the fear of vulnerability there. How do you step out and apologize for the things that you have done wrong? Maybe you weren't equipped, maybe you weren't aware. Maybe it wasn't ill intended at all. But how do you have the courage to ask for forgiveness for the things you've done wrong?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Well, you have nothing to lose, and you have everything to gain. So, you know, you have everything to gain. And when you Say those words. You know, when you say, listen, I had to say I'm sorry for screaming and yelling many times because I was angry, right? And I, and I didn't respond properly, but I said, hey, I'm so sorry. And you know what? That really did. It showed them that I'm real and that I'm human and that I make mistakes. And that certainly lowers the bar for them because they think we think they are supposed to be perfect and they're not. Like you keep saying, there are no perfect people, no perfect families. So I know that, I know that when you say I'm sorry, even if you're the 99% in the right and it's just point something, you're in the wrong, it opens the door for healing. There's no if, ands, or but. It opens the door for healing for you and your child and your family.

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: That just, that's very profound thinking. What do you have to lose if you've already lost the relationship? And when we open ourselves up to love, Laine we open ourselves up to hurt. We can't, we can't love without the possibility of getting hurt. But, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. That's not scriptural, but that is wisdom and that is true. And it is really hard to be vulnerable. And I just see, I see a lot of dynamics where the parents are so hurt by all of the choices that their, that their children have made. And so then it's kind of like this, okay, well, you've done some more hurt than us. so now you owe us something. And then they just feel like they're expecting like the prodigal son did. They're expecting, can I just work in your, in your pigsty? Like, can I just have the lowest position here? And yet the father showed just over the top, lavish grace in that moment. And I, I, I just pray for that moment because I know that for, so many families who, who want to experience that. Well, Laine we, we're almost at the end of our time together here. How can people connect with you? Learn more from your story, your ministry?

>> Laine Lawson Craft: Yes, they can just go to my website. Everything is there. lainelawsoncraft.com I'm on tiktok now and all social media and you know, my whole mission is to help parents that are loving the Lord, serving the Lord and praying to the Lord and are in the battle for a prodigal or wayward child and need healing for their family.

I want you to know that shame and stigma do not have the final word here

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, if you are taking anything away from today. We obviously cannot heal everything instantaneously, as much as I wish that we could. But I want you to know that you are not alone, that there are a lot more families than you think who are walking this path, even if they are doing it silently. And you have no idea. I want you to know that shame and stigma do not have the final word here. Grace and love and faith and a, God who does the impossible does. And holding space for that journey, it requires courage, it requires perseverance, it requires wisdom. But that love is never wasted, that prayer is never wasted. And I know forgiveness is not forgetting is just choosing healing over hurt, choosing welcome over walls. Know that God's heart is for restoration and his arms are never too far to return. So I want to remind you, no matter how far they've gone, no matter how long it's been, love leaves the light on. And the road home is always open, paved with grace, lit with hope. You continue to do that sacred work. Love your child, pray for your child. Believe in the best. Hold on to faith, and know that God never gives up. I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you as your story is still unfolding. I will see you right back here tomorrow. Jeff Chamblee The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.