Laura Wifler joins Jessica to talk about having conversations with our kids and grandkids about body image, identity, and God's unending love.
Rx for Hope: Find True Self-Worth in Christ
Dr. Jessica Peck prescribes Hope for Healthy Families on American Family Radio
M hello, and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And we've got a really powerful prescription for you today. We are talking about how to help your kids, how to help your family find their true self worth in Christ. Now, we know that research shows that children began forming ideas about their body image, about their self esteem, about their identity as early as age 3, and in some ways even earlier than that. That means that before most kids even go to kindergarten, they're already absorbing messages from culture about how they look about, about their beauty, their value, their worth, what they're bringing to the world. And our guest today is bestselling author Laura Wifler And she knows just how powerful these messages can be and how often they leave kids feeling empty. And that's why she wrote a brand new book called Your Worth Never Wavers Discover True Beauty as a Girl Made by God. Now, if you are a regular listener, you know that I am passionate about asking you, challenging you, encouraging you to read to your kids. Your kids need you to read to them for so many reasons. They need to see the beautiful artwork that's been created. They need to change to. To turn the pages. They need the feeling of the rhythm of that. They need the rhythm and the comfort of having messages given to them over and over again. They need your presence sitting by their side. So I don't care if they're 5 or 15 or even 50, read to your kids. And this is a great book, girls especially. This book is a children's picture book. And it's designed to root a girl's identity in something unshakable when the world is anything but. We're talking about the truth of God's word. And it's no surprise that Laura's work is already sparking some pretty big conversations, as you can imagine. So, Laura, I'm so glad to have you here with us today. Thank you so much for joining us.
Laura Wifler: Oh, absolutely. Thank you for having me.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, just tell us a little bit about your story, how you came to know the Lord and how he's called you into a ministry to minister to through this children's book.
Laura Wifler: Yeah, well, Goodness, yeah. My name is Laura Wifler as you said, and I do have just such a privilege of being able to write for children and also working with, writing and working with moms, through a ministry I did in the past called Risen Motherhood. But I will back up and tell you a little bit about how I came to Christ. Goodness, I, I am so blessed to be able to say I actually don't remember a day without Jesus. And I was raised in a Christian home by really godly gospel centered parents and over the years just have of course had my faith very tested and tried. in particular, something that sticks out for me in my faith journey is that my youngest daughter, has disabilities, she has intellectual disabilities through a genetic disease. And that of course has really shaped my own faith journey. it's even at ah, times it led to some years of doubt, but God brought me through that. one of the hardest things I probably faced. but the Lord was so kind to bring me through that and just hold me in his hands the whole time, you know. And so, from there, somewhere in the middle of kind of the diagnosis and things like that, I had started a ministry called Risen Motherhood with my sister in law, Emily Jensen. And that was such a gift. We ran that for about 10 years, that nonprofit organization. It had podcasts and blogs and articles and resources and all sorts of things. but we sunset that we brought it to kind of a beautiful end, I like to say, last spring. And that has really allowed me now to walk forward in writing even more books for children, and being able to just continue with my work. I also write poetry for adults, so I'm a writer holistically. I write all about the things of God. And my desire ultimately is to really equip families and the church with resources that point them to Jesus.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, praise God for that. I think it's so encouraging, Laura, to hear testimonies of people who say, like you, I don't remember a day without Jesus. Because it's such a great reminder for a lot of families who are in there just doing all of that hard work and to know that they were preceded by people of faith, by chain breakers, by people who, you know, changed generational patterns. And praise God for every kid who grows up in a home where they have such a strong legacy of faith. And you're right, Laura, to everything there is a season. And this season that it seems like you're in, you're really focusing on children's books. And I am so grateful for this. You know, for me as a mom, as a pediatric nurse practitioner, somebody who's deeply invested in the health of children. What do you see is changing? Because I feel like, you know, for the whole last century we really had very stable ways of delivering messages to kids. You know, they may have a few books in their home, they may go to school, they may get messages from their local community. But with the Internet we just have this explosion of, of content overload and parents can download a book. I mean, I remember I used to read the Berenstain Bears when I was a little kid and I remember like waiting for that one little picture book to come out and to go to the store and actually buy it, to have to read it. But now we just have so many options available and it's changing the way that families are interacting with media and it's really changing the way that we're the messages that are coming into our home. So where do you see yourself positioned in this space? What is give us a view from your seat of what you're seeing in those trends and what you're doing to equip families to, to really talk to their, to their. Give good messages to their kids.
Laura Wifler: Yeah. It's such a great point that there are more resources than ever before, more options for parents. And you know, it's both a good thing and a bad thing. I think that it's certainly requires so much more diligence and discernment on behalf of the parents part where they're probably needing to do their research a little bit more and to sort of just be mindful about the messages that they're bringing into their home. And that starts first with just them knowing the gospel, knowing scripture themselves. And you know, we bring a book into our home that maybe doesn't fit the exact beliefs that we have. It's okay like, you know, I'm a mom myself to three kids and so I know that sometimes those are just opportunities for good conversations too. Of like, hey, maybe that's not one that we read over and over again. And so to any parent out there that's feeling some of the weight of all of the options, there's grace for that, the Lord knows. And one book is not going to topple your child's face forever. But on the other side, it's so great because I think that we have more resources than ever before to really speak to each individual need of a child. I think there's some really special things up there. One of the books that I was able to, to write and offer to the world is not this particular book, but it's called like Me and It's about a regular day in the life of a family with disabilities and what it looks like to do therapy and to interact with a child that thinks differently. And those resources, you know, in the last 10, 15 years, really weren't out there. And so I think there's a huge gift for a parent too, because kind of whatever you're wanting to equip your child in, there's probably a really great resource out there. And that's really my heart and hope with all of the books that I write is to help parents be able to find gospel centered conversation or start gospel centered conversations, sometimes around tougher topics for their own children. And so this particular book, your worth never waivers, I mean that's the goal is to help a young girl really understand her worth, value and beauty from a very young age. And I'm really excited about these books that can just be the start of really special and important conversations in a home.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And these are m. Conversations that need to be happening earlier and earlier. I think it's so hard, Laura, because I see parents and I'm one of those parents who just has this wistfulness about our own childhood. We have this nostalgia of thinking about a simpler time in a simpler way. And even just how I just shared with you about going to the bookstore and that was such a special treat. We want that to be the experience that our kids are having, but it's just not reality. And they are exposed earlier and earlier to messages about their identity, about their self, about their worth, about who they are, whose they are. And all of these messages are coming in earlier and more powerfully in a way, because I think especially when we're fighting, you know, we have physical media with books and we're fighting the ways that digital media has some advantages that print media does. Not just in and putting music to it or manipulating your emotions or making something seem really harmless when it may in fact be really harmful. We've got to have these conversations. And books like yours are a great way to have that, to reinforce messages of, that are gospel centered messages about identity, but also just allowing them to ask questions and to connect back their world experiences to think, okay, I experienced this in the world. We've talked about this at home and asking even before they even have the vocabulary to do that.
Christian parents should be wary of crude, inappropriate children's literature
So in your world, in the children's publishing space, because I'll tell you, in some of the places that I've gone to look at children's books, I've been, been. I've been pretty Appalled. I'm just going to say that. And people can say that I'm clutching my pearls or whatever, but I've been appalled at some of the messages that have been given to kids. Some of them are just, they're not necessarily, you know, unbiblical, but they're just crude and just like, not edifying. So what do you see as the landscape of kind of what, where is children's literature going, what's selling, what is, what is in demand? And, and how should that instruct and inform us as Christian parents?
Laura Wifler: Yeah, you know, this is something that everything goes through trends, of course. And so like you noted right now, some of the trends with kid lit is certainly seeing, some, some more of that crude writing, humor writing. so that's very real and it's very much out there. But I think we're really seeing a resurgence in the Christian industry for really high quality literature. If I were to look back over children's literature in just the Christian market the past 20 years or so, as you sort of noted, there wasn't a lot of variety. and then oftentimes what was published wasn't quite as up to par as maybe the mass market was in terms of illustration, in terms of design. Even as an author, you know, I think of everything down to like, how do the pages feel and what does the COVID treatment like? Are we going to use foil or sparkles and all those things that draw children in that we see really commonly going on in more of the general market of books. And I have been deeply encouraged by the rise in Christian children's literature. Both stuff that is very explicit in terms of the gospel narrative and displaying that. And also just faith informed messages that are still very, much in line with the Christian faith, but maybe aren't quite as overt. I even have a book like that called A World Wonder. And my hope there was to be a bridge and to be a book that could get into children's, libraries and classrooms and things like that. I wanted a book that I could read in my daughter's public school. That was my goal. And I knew I couldn't get in there with such an explicitly Christian book. And so I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to write that book and then hopefully be a bridge for parents who maybe like that one and they'll see the other books. And so, I do think we have to be really careful as parents of what's coming into our homes. And I will tell you, as a mother of a 12 year old boy who is a voracious reader and that I cannot keep up with this is really, really hard. And so I back again and again to teaching our own children about discernment. So we have to start with ourselves and then we have to teach our children, well, where do you see God's good design in this? Where's the creation piece in this? You know, where do we see the fall? What is broken in this and what is marred by sin? And then teaching them to find redemption. And again, this can be found in both general market books and Christian books where we look for redemption of like what are those glimmers of what Christ has done for us? Or what are some of the common graces that we see? And then in any great epic book, you know, think of the epic fantasy novels or maybe like the Chronicles of Narnia, seeing that hope of heaven, so that consummation of God's plan and where do we see that? And not every book has that in there. But I have worked really hard as a mom to teach my child to look for those things in books. And so as they move beyond picture books and me being able to really keep up and pre read every single thing, really instead being able to say, hey, let's have thoughtful conversations about this literature. And that can even happen with a picture book. You know, I read that with my 8 year old and we can have a conversation about hey, what did you like about the book? What didn't you like about the book? And maybe why didn't we like that? Oh, maybe that's because there wasn't hope in this book like we know that God's story has for us. And so as parents I think we can work hard at asking good questions and being wise and discerning and then teaching our own children those things as we navigate the market, those are.
Dr. Jessica Peck: All really great insights. First of all, it's really encouraging to hear about the resurgence and demand for Christian for faith based literature, which is so great and to see the quality in that is really encouraging to me. And your point is so well taken Laura, about discernment because I also had a child who was a voracious reader and I used to just think, oh, we'll just buy our books at the Christian bookstore and then that's enough. But one day she came to me and said, I don't think that this is something that I should be reading. And I think preparing them for that discernment, doing our due diligence, but also having discernment and the open door for Conversation is so important. Listen, we have a lot more to talk about when we come back. We're going to talk about a gospel shaped view of beauty and how do we what would change if our children, or maybe even you truly believed that our worth never wavers in God's eyes. We'll be right back with more from Laura Wifler
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Laura Wifler writes a book about where girls' worth comes from
Can't Steal My Joy by Josiah Queen ft. Brandon Lake: In the Valley of the shadow I got a feeling it's the season that'll make me grow I'm still breathing I got praise in my lungs and a choir in my soul. Can't steal my joy can't steal my joy. What the world couldn't give, no, it can't take away? Sorrow may come but it can't steal my joy. Can't steal my joy.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Can't Steal my Joy by Josiah Queen and Brandon Lake. And nothing can steal our joy. That is one of the great truths. We can just refuse to let the enemy steal our joy. Today, not today. It's not going to happen. And we're talking today about shaping our kids identity and not letting them, not letting the enemy steal the joy that they have and who God created them, to be. And in a world that tells us worth is found in appearance, in achievement and popularity. Laura Wifler is here with us today to give a message that is refreshingly countercultural. She wrote a Book called Your Worth Never Wavers. And it is a book for children, for little girls. It's. It's called Discover True Beauty as a Girl Made by God. It's a beautiful, beautiful picture book. And it takes children on a journey through creation, through canyons, through beehives, through sunsets, through stars, and reminds them of this powerful truth that the same God who made the wonders of nature also created them fearfully and wonderfully in his image. It is a body image primer, which is brush really important to give them early on. But more than that, it is a gospel primer. And so, I want you to ask yourself, where do you think your kids in your home or your community, whatever kids are under your sphere of influence? Where are they learning their ideas about their worth? And are you really being intentional in looking for those subtle cultural messages that are shaping your child's view of their beauty and their value? So I. Laura, I'm so grateful for you being with us here today to reframe this cultural conversation. Really pointing girls not inward or outward for their worth, but really upward, to the God who made them, which is so really important, and it's so much easier said than done. So what do you see as the culture saying about where girls worth and beauty comes from? And why is it leaving so many women feeling unsatisfied, feeling just unworthy, just un. Everything?
Laura Wifler: Yeah, you know, this is something that sometimes kind of can feel very complex, but it also tends to really always boil down to the world just says that our beauty, our value, our worth comes from kind of what we do. If we look inside and we discover that we like what's in there, then poof, you have value, you have worth. And, a lot of it is this strong arming, mustering up of. We'll dig it out somehow. We'll find that beauty and value. And, you know, what we see, like what we receive from the world is very much more of a conventional beauty. outward beauty is often a, sign of power. It's a sign of status. High achievement is a sign of status and power. And so that's what the world is sort of responding to with us, where it seems like doors tend to open and things get done and we're able, to be received more positively when we come with some of those more conventional beauty standards. And so the world's kind of exactly what that is is honestly always changing just a little bit. You know, like, even what is conventional beauty, well, that changes with trends and with time, but ultimately the world Always comes back. It seems to kind of say, hey, find that within yourself, look within and then you'll discover it. But the trouble comes is when we look inside and maybe m, we don't really like what's in there or we somehow have lost all energy to be able to muster up that good self esteem. So it's a message that fails us.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Us. It absolutely fails us. I see it failing women every day. And you're so right. I'm a history nerd, Laura. I really love history. But in looking back through history, even through ancient medieval times, you can see all of these wild fashion trends that were there. It's like, oh, let's have eyebrows, let's not have eyebrows. You know, let's decide that ankles are really controversial, you know, and, and then you look at just all of the different body shapes and, and everything that, that is the standard of beauty for the time. You know, this is what Victorian beauty look, you know, whatever, whatever it is, whatever the culture, whatever the age and stage, but it's always changing. And if you don't believe that women are still chasing it, I mean just look at the money that is made on anti aging products and you know, all of the things that are supposed to make us more beautiful. And what I see Laura, is this is an issue that's not just for girls in this age that we see a trend called looks maxing, which comes from a term in game, in gaming culture actually where you max a character's traits, you can max their trait. And we're, and they're talking on social media about maxing their looks. And I think that there, we need to be as parents aware of all of the marketing drivers that are going for this because what they determine is if they can get, give your child a message about their beauty, about their looks, that they're not enough. But they would be so much better with this product really. They're driving those consumer habits of Generation Z, Generation Alpha. That's why we're seeing Generation Alpha be, they're asking what, what it's going to be on the Christmas list for Generation Alpha. This might confuse some older generations. They want a little mini refrigerator, but not for food, for skin care products. And they're using them like at the age of 8 and 9. And now we see boys jumping on this too because of the influencer culture. And that just does worry me. So we have kids who are growing up who really don't know what their identity is. We look at the self help industry and all of the self Everything. And. And there's just no way that we are equipped to create this image for ourselves that's going to give us satisfaction in life. That's not the image that God has given us. So what is the better message about value and beauty from the Gospel that we need to counter program into this cultural messaging that they're getting?
Laura Wifler: Yeah, I mean, just first to add on to what you're saying. You're so right, that this is an industry, and as parents, we need to recognize it as such that there is a lot of money behind getting your child to believe that they aren't enough and that they need to add something to themselves to be enough. And it's working on us, too. Right. That is the water that we swim in, and we're not very awake to it as adults and as children, we can't expect them to be aware of it. That's something that, you know, we have to point out and train them in. And I think what is incredible about the Gospel message is it beats this on every level. It's so much better that, you know, the Bible. I think it's important to recognize in a conversation that it does recognize that there are some people that have been handed a larger measure of beauty. You know, the Bible talks about David being handsome, about Esther being beautiful. And so it's not to say that we want to be like, oh, everyone is just totally the same amount of beautiful, at least conventionally. but what the Bible does is it flips the word beautiful on its head. And in 1 Samuel 16, 7, God says, Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. And that is really the message that we want to instill in our children, is that no matter what outward appearance you have or create or whatever, ultimately the Lord is looking at the beauty of your heart. And that is what matters to him, is how we are growing in righteousness, how we are growing in the fruit of the Spirit, how we are growing to be more like Christ. And so that is just a paradigm shift, I think, for any person that when they start to realize, oh, am I spending more time on my outward beauty, or am I spending, you know, much more time on really growing my heart and how it is inclined towards the Lord and how it exemplifies Jesus.
Laura writes about teaching her children that their worth never wavers
And when it comes down to that worth and value question, you know, I'll tell you, Jessica, I have been really living out this book because the title of this book is your Worth Never Waivers. And, you know, they all always tell an author, don't, don't write a book that you don't want God to teach you about because it seems like you always end up going through the fire on that topic. And I have just found this. Your worth never. Waivers being repeated over and over and over in my mind as I'm just going through things in just my own personal life and I'm transitioning in my career and different things like that that I have to even remember as an adult, as a mom to three children, that my worth does not waver because in Christ it never changes that I am a mago DEI made in the image of God. And that gives us inherent worth and inherent value. And that is such an incredible place for our children to operate from if we can teach them about what it means to be a mago dei made in the image of God. That in Genesis 1 it talks about God made male and female in his own image. And that gives them value that no one can ever keep. That no matter how they do at, soccer, how they perform in academics, what they look like if they get asked to a certain dance, or the boy that likes them back that they like, whatever it is, ultimately their value never changes. And this is such a gift to me as a mom to a child with disabilities, because I have a child that has developed differently than is typical, that moves differently and thinks differently. And honestly, the world doesn't want to accept. And when I see that, though, when I. I can see and tell when other children have been raised knowing the imago DEI and understanding that just because you don't operate in typical ways that people normally do, that you can still be valuable and still be worthy of someone's time. I m mean, it changes everything. And I think that it's such a gift to be able to walk out the gospel when our kids are raised in this really steadfast way of saying, hey, it doesn't really matter that, like the popular kids like me or if I do well in this performance at the school thing or whatever it is. They are confident kids. You can see, actually, I could probably pick out for you in a crowd sometimes. The kids that are walking in freedom of knowing who they are versus those that maybe are still learning it or haven't been taught that before and are really trying to fit in. And being a kid is hard. It is so hard. Always joke to my husband, I don't. I don't want to go back to those days. Those were hard days. but it's such a gift, I think, as a mom, to be able to walk with my own children and to remind them as they go through things and be able to say, you know, are you going to believe what that person says about you, or will you believe what God says about you? And to teach them that they have a choice every single day to believe what the gospel says over what culture tells them.
Dr. Jessica Peck: This is so powerful, Laura, because it's so much easier said than done. We all know this intuitively as Christian parents. We all want to do that. We would all say, oh, yes, we're striving to do that. And yet these messages and culture are so ingrained in everything that we do. It's a constant battle. But I think it's such a. It's such a place of freedom to come from that place. Exactly. Like you said, you can walk somewhere and you can know you can spot out those kids who are walking with confidence. And. And I pray over my son. Actually, I pray over my son every single day. I pray God help him to walk as. With, with confidence, as a man of integrity. That's what I pray like. I just say those words over and over and over again so that he'll have his identity as a man of integrity. Because it. The truth is, if we look at our calendars, if we look at our credit cards, we are investing a lot of time and effort in our children's achievements. And I. I'll be transparent with you, too, Laura. I struggled with this. I just had. I'm in the stage where I have a kid graduating from high school and college every other year. And so you go back and you look at all the pictures, and it's really tempting to pull those pictures of their big accomplishments. Oh, here's where you won this award. Oh, here's where you, you know, went on this trip. Here's where you did this speech or whatever they did. And I really tried to make a paradigm shift, and I thought, I don't want to pick the pictures of their accomplishments. I want to pick the pictures that demonstrate their character. Here's the moment where you demonstrated courage. Here's the moment where you demonstrated joy. You know, all of those things, but it's so hard to do. And when they're told by the world, yeah, you know, you're right. Some people do have a greater measure of beauty. And they're told, like, you know, oh, but we're all beautiful. But they're looking and thinking, okay, but I don't feel as beautiful, as attractive, as handsome, whatever it is. We know that Jesus knows this. One of my favorite verses comes from Isaiah, where It's describing Jesus, for he grew up before him like a young plant, like a root out of dry ground. He had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire Him. And I think this is such a powerful point for those people who do feel like they're overlooked. Just as you quoted from Samuel, that the Lord looks at the heart. These are the messages that we need to be constantly bombarding with our kids with as much ferocity as the, as the market industries that are there.
Laura Wifler: How do you talk about body positivity with toddlers
And we talked about just having these conversations earlier and earlier. Talk a little bit, Laura, about having this conversation. I mean, it's easy for us to have this with our teens. How do you have this with a toddler?
Laura Wifler: Yeah, great question. you know, I think so much at that young age, I know this is a common phrase, but more is caught than taught. And so especially at a young age, a lot of it is especially how we moms are talking about ourselves and the way that we're interacting with makeup or clothing or food and even like our own personal career goals and dreams and things like that. So much of it is out of the overflow. The mouth speaks, right? And that is revealing what's in our hearts. And our children are watching. And so with those youngest of children, those three and four year olds, a lot of it, you know, I talk with my girls that, hey, makeup is fun. It's a fun way to enhance what God has given us. It's not the end all, be all. And I make it a point too, to be able to be out and about without makeup or with it, that at the end of the day, it doesn't define me or become some kind of a mask. And, I also, with my children, will talk with them about, you know, you think about the body positivity conversation. You were starting to hit on this a little bit earlier. But this element that the world often will say, like, oh, just think positive thoughts about your body. Accept your body. Like, it'll be so great. And this is again where I think the gospel gives a better way. Because the reality is, Even at ages 3, 4, 5, 6, there are children where their bodies aren't doing what they want them to do. You know, again, a daughter with a disability, I've seen this up, close in firsthand. But even with typically developing children where they feel bummed out because maybe their body isn't doing what they want it to do, or maybe somebody makes a snide remark and it kind of goes over their head or Maybe they're a little confused by it. But when we teach them that ultimately God has a good design for their body and that he made their body and he called it good. But then this is where the gospel is incredible, because we know that there's the fall. And so the reality is that our bodies aren't going to work perfectly and that sometimes we're not gonna have everything we want. And so it gives an explanation to a child. It helps it make sense rather than just something like, well, you know, you just didn't try hard enough, or, well, you just, you know, need to do better next time. there are things outside of our control that makes our bodies not be able to do, to do what we always want them to do. And so that helps explain it. And then we have redemption, right? And even at a young age, you can start talking to your child and explaining to them that, like, but Christ, this is. This is why he gave his life for you, that he redeemed us in every way.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's powerful, Laura. No, I'm gonna hold you right there. I mean, you are like. Like you are right in the middle of such an important point. But here we are up against a break. Listen, you don't want to miss it because we're going to pick up right where we left off with Laura Wifler on the other side of this break. We'll talk about redemption. See you, in just a minute. During the Christmas season of 1976, I sat down one night to watch television. One man saw the battle coming. If we lose this cultural war, we're. Going to have a hedonistic, humanistic society. And he chose to stand and fight. If you will not respect our beliefs, then you will respect our money, and. We'Ll spend it with somebody else. Reverend Wildmon. Reverend Wildmon. The Reverend Donald Wildmon.
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Jeff Chamblee: The movement Don started paved the way for Christians to boldly stand for truth and righteousness in a hostile culture. Watch Culture Warrior today for free visit culturewarrior.movie I trust in God, my.
Trust In God by Elevation Worship: Savior, the one who will never. Fail. He will never fail.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That's trust in God by elevation worship. And we're talking about trust, trusting God. Today when we're talking to our families, especially our kids, about Their image, about their identity. We're talking about finding true self worth in Christ. I am having a great conversation with Laura Wifler and she's written a children's book. This book is, for girls. It's called your Worth Never Wavers Discover True Beauty as a Girl Made by God. I'm, looking at the cover of it right now. It's absolutely beautiful. It's very whimsical. Very, very beautiful. And we're talking about that. And one of the best truths about this is that this new book, it's not just a message for girls, it's not just a message for boys, it's not just a message for kids. This is also for the adults who love them who are reading this book. And your Worth Never Wavers was born from a poem that Laura wrote for her own daughter. But now it's equipping families everywhere to have conversations about body image and identity and the unwavering love of God. And it's got beautiful illustrations, memorable truth truths, and it's helping us as parents to navigate some of those hardest, most tender questions that kids ask. Am I beautiful enough? Do I matter? Am I enough? Am I? Am I? What is my worth? What is my identity in Christ? And we're talking about that. And Laura, right before the break, you were giving a great message on redemption, and I want to go right back to that. But I do want to say, as you were talking about the adults who struggle with this, we struggle as adults with this concept. And we need to know that God, that will redeem and renew and restore us in a fallen world. And this just isn't girls. This is boys. Like I talked about. I see looks maxing, which is, you can have soft looks maxing, which is just like mewing. Maybe you've seen boys, like, touching their chin with a, finger and trying to do some jaw exercise to make their jaw looks more, more chiseled. Or even what they call hard looks maxing, which is even talking about certain surgery to reconstruct your face to look more masculine. And I see this even in dads. So I'm going to call out the dads and just share with you what my husband shared with me. And, and you look at this and seeing T shirts that are marketed for the best fit to show off your biceps or protein shakes or gym culture influencer. I mean, no one is immune. But the beautiful thing about that, Laura, is that everyone is welcome. Everyone has an invitation to the gospel message.
That redemption piece just gives such hope because it reminds us
So I want to take it back there and let you Finish what you were saying about just that message of redemption from the fall, because it's for all of us.
Laura Wifler: Yeah, no, I, I love what you're saying about this message thing. Both for, for boys, for men, for women, for children. We all need it. And yeah, that redemption piece just gives such hope because it reminds us that Christ has redeemed us and that in him we have everything that Christ has. We have union with Christ, which means then when we're feeling anxious or we're feeling overwhelmed, or we're feeling like we're, we're not worth much, that we can remember that Christ died for us and that he gave his life and that now we have peace, that passes understanding, we have the fruit of the spirit, we have the joy, we have, gentleness, compassion, kindness, all of those things. And those are ours in Christ and we have the Holy Spirit to help us. And so I think that that's a piece that's like this hopeful right now in this moment. But what I have found to be incredibly hopeful in the body and worth and value conversation is ultimately knowing that our hope is in heaven and, and that that is where we are headed to and that there, there will be no more crying, no more tears, no more sorrow, but that Christ will heal everything. And so this life is short term, it's temporary, but we're headed somewhere even better. And there we will receive renewed, perfect bodies. And I think that is such a gift. We won't struggle anymore with negative self esteem. We won't struggle with wondering if we're enough. We, will forever live with Jesus, us and have perfect peace in Him. And so that is a piece of being a Christian that I think is such a gift to keep in mind as we navigate these topics.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It is such a gift and it's, it's such a fascinating thing to think about and talk about. Laura, when you talk about, you know, the resurrection, you talk about, you know, obviously Jesus body was resurrected in that. And when we talk about a new heaven and a new earth, we will be there in some form and those things get really, you know, that can. That, that is a way to have a five year old ask you a lot of questions that you. I do not know the answers to this question, but we will be in our, in our new body, in a new heaven and a new earth.
The book includes nature facts to help girls understand body image
And that's also a really big part of the book that you've written for girls is including nature, nature scenes, nature facts. And so what part does that play? What was your connection there? And a Message to our body image.
Laura Wifler: yes. I love this part of the book. I included, I think, 10 or 12 nature facts for girls. not only because I'm a little bit of a neuroscience nurse, but also I just love creation. And so it was really fun to include those. And I put them in because research shows us, and I think we can self testify this to be true, that experiencing creation and the incredible wonders of the world really inspire awe in us as humans. And awe and wonder. Science shows us that they do a lot of things for us, but number one, they trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. So, with that dopamine, you know, that is this joy and satisfaction feeling in our brains. feeling awe, lower stress, it can reduce inflammation, maintain healthier blood pressure. I'm sure you know all of this stuff. and so, and you talk about these things in your career. But, there's this element of awe, ah, helping us feel connected to something that's larger than ourselves. And in secular psychology, the state is sometimes described as small self, where our concerns or our stresses and anxieties, that they're kind of momentarily set aside. And I wanted to include this in the book because I have found when I am struggling, whether that's with a worth or a value issue or with just my own physical beauty, I have found going outside being in nature does all of these things that I mentioned before. And ultimately kind of finding that small self points me to God. It right sizes who I am. And it reminds me that the same God that made the cheetah, the rainbows, the waterfalls is the same God that made me. And we, worship along with David. When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man, that you care for him. That's Psalm 8:3-5 And I think that's something that I really wanted to help instill in girls at a young age. You know, there's a, a line in the book that says, that says, turn your face to the wind, Feel the breeze in your hair. His love for you is all around. You only have to be aware. Each sunset, each raindrop is proof of his care. Though you cannot see him, God is in all that is fair. And I just wanted to remind children that God is there. And that each thing that they go outside and they're in nature, they can remember that as they feel the warmth of their sun on their skin, that that's Proof of God's care and his love for them. And I think it helps us just turn our eyes to God and it gives us this. No matter where you live, you know, you can go outside and feel the wind on your face. And that helps. Right size us before the Lord.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's such a great perspective, reframing to right size us. Because so many times I feel like the expectation of what we feel like the world expects us to be is just. It's so big and so right. Sizing that and looking. I mean, Who hasn't sat at a beautiful sunset or sat next to an ocean, sat on the beach, looked at the wonders of God's creation and thought, okay, the same God who made these natural marvels also made me. And when we're thinking about that, God doesn't love people who the world would rate as more beautiful, as more worthy of love. He doesn't rate those who are more accomplished as more worthy of love. God has created each person for such a time as this, for, on purpose, by purpose, with purpose. And I've talked to so many parents, Laura, who have kids who struggle with disabilities and think their kids don't contribute in the ways that you would think of. You know, they have different gifts, gifts and different abilities, but they bring such different perspective and such different joy to the world in a way that a kid who maybe didn't have those disabilities just would never experience or would never know. And I know this book was born out of writing a poem for your daughter. Can you talk about that and. And what God taught you and how we can all learn from that, from the. From the beauty that God wrote on your heart?
Laura Wifler: Yeah, I completely agree with all of that. And, you know, I have. I have two daughters, one typically developing and then one with a disability. And I first started because my older daughter, my typically developing daughter came home one day. She was 8. And she just says to me, mom, do you think I'm beautiful? And I remember her looking at her like, is this a joke? Like, are we just, you know, messing around here? But she was in earnest. And I was like, of course, honey. You know, as any mom would say. And I was thinking about it later, and I kind of asked her like, hey, honey, where'd that question come from? And it turned out that there was some sort of, like, a rating scale going on at her school that she was in, or they were talking about being pretty or not. And, you know, my heart just really broke. And as she answered that or she asked that question, it was just shocking. To me that she would even wonder. You know, she's this little girl who has known nothing but love and adoration. Her. Her grandparents love her, aunts and uncles. You know, I mean, she's just surrounded by people who affirm her, her. And yet still that question remained there for her. And so from there, as you noted, I wrote a poem just really talking about how the world is going to call for her to look at all of these people, these movie stars or these musicians or these politicians or different things, and they're going to tell her to look within, to find her beauty. But ultimately, we look to God for that affirmation. We look to God for, like, what he says is true of us. And, this has been really helpful as I've walked with a lot of friends who have children with disabilities and of course, my own daughter, because I think that is so helpful. Because as, society talks about, often is, yeah, if someone can't contribute to, like, the overall good or advancement of culture, society, then they don't have worth or value. You know, that's what society would say is, hey, what are you doing to help us go forward? Even if that's like, you're just beautiful to gaze upon or something, you know, And. But that's not the message that the gospel gives. The gospel tells us that every single person has worth and value no matter what. And so, as I mentioned before, I think that that's a message that we want to teach our own children. Not only so they operate out of a place of confidence and of knowing that they are loved and found value and worthy by the God who created them, but also so that they see others in that way and that they say, okay, I have value. And God would say that those people have value too. And so now I can go and I can have lunch with a child who maybe doesn't have very many friends and is kind of on the outs. but I know that that child has value. And so I tell my kids, I teach them the phrase, hey, see needs and meet them. And then I also teach them the phrase of see the least. And that just means, you know, the person who's left out and how do we have eyes to see the least? And. And knowing that, my youngest daughter is often the least in some of the situations that she's in. And what a gift it is to me when other children go up and say, hey, I'll have lunch with you. Even if maybe she speaks in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable because they don't understand her or she moves in a way that feels differently. These kids are secure, or they're learning to be secure. And I don't want to say, like, they've got it all figured out. They're still children. But I think there's an element of being able to teach our children, hey, how are you seeing the least? As Jesus did. And I'll say, go find the kiddo who doesn't have a spot at lunch today. Go find the kiddo who doesn't have a friend to play with on the playground today. I say a lot of that stuff, not only because I want my children to live that out, but also because as a mother to a child who is often on the other end, it is like, I mean, it will move me to tears when a child slows down to include her in things. it is such a gift to me, and it's really a representation of God's love for all of us.
Laura has a resource for aspiring writers to help them publish their children's books
Dr. Jessica Peck: Laura, I've been so inspired in just hearing you talk. And I'm so grateful that you are using the gifts that God has given you to speak such messages of life. And I really encourage parents to invest in reading with their kids, invest in delivering these kinds of messages to them. And it's so beautifully illustrated. And, Laura, you have there. I know there are people out there listening who have a children's book written on their heart that's not yet written on the page. And you have a resource for them that might be really helpful in publishing their own children's book. Is that right?
Laura Wifler: Yeah. Thanks for bringing that up. It's called the KidLit Lab. And I love helping other aspiring writers or even current authors really accomplish their goals. To be able to hold the book that's in their hearts into their hands. Right. And to see children reading it. And so, if anybody would like to come write a book with me, check us out at thekidlitlab.com it's a lot of fun. We talk about the whole career of being an author. But even if you're someone who's like, hey, I just want to self publish for my grandbabies, or, you know, I really want to make it as a career author, there's really a place for you either way.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's really encouraging. And once again, that's the kidlitlab.com k i d l i t l a b kidlit lab.com and it's so encouraging because I love that you said that. Just even if you want to publish something for your grandbaby babies, that is absolutely wonderful. I actually Just had a grandfather reach out to me this week that I will pass this along to, because he had a book that he woke up in the middle of the night and he thought, oh, this book is written on my heart. And so to have that legacy for your children, for your grandchildren, such a beautiful thing. Well, thank you so much. We've been talking to Laura Wifler and I'm so grateful for all of the things that you have shared with us today, the ways that you have, have encouraged us. And I really want to challenge our listeners out there. How often in your home are you speaking intentionally about God's truth about who he says your children are? Over them? In your life again, if they're 5 or 15 or 50, it doesn't matter. But really challenge yourself to think about conversations that you can bring up in your home about worth or in our. An identity. Maybe that happens tonight at the dinner table. Maybe it happens on a walk after dinner, using creation as your backdrop. But Laura's reminder today to us has been very simple but very profound that the same God who made the stars made you, and his love never changes again. The book is called your Worth Never Wavers. You can go to your worth. Your worth never Wavers. Get a copy of it. Don't miss the chance to put this truth into the hearts of the kids you love, because their worth does never waver, and neither does yours. And as you're thinking about that, I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you. Because, listen, children are going to hear thousands of voices telling them who they are. But parents have the powerful role of being that steady voice that points them to the unchanging, truth that their identity is secure in Christ. Amen. Praise the Lord for that. I'll see you here next time.
Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.