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Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection and the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama Show Prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And listen, we are in Easter week. I cannot believe that because Easter is actually kind of late this year in April. But here we are on Easter week. And because we are having special programming on Good Friday and we are going to be spending time with our family and going to church, I'll be going to Good Friday services. I hope that you find a Good Friday service to attend as well. We are coming to you with a Friday on a Wednesday. And I'm kind of thinking, can we not just adopt this as a country, like just make every Wednesday a Friday? I wish that we could, but today we're going to pretend like it's Friday or Friday here on the show and I'm going to talk about the healthy have it this week on Wednesday. So if you're looking for that Friday show, here it is today. But we'll have great programming for you all day on Friday. If you've been following along on this healthy habits journey, thank you so much and kudos to you. High five. Great job. If you are invested in making your family healthier, you're way ahead of the curve and you are just doing an amazing job. You're crushing it. And it doesn't matter what age or stage your family is in, these are things that are applicable for every every family in every stage, every human being. If you're a human being, living, breathing, walking around this planet, these habits are for you. And if you started with us in January, we spent four weeks in spiritual disciplines. We spent six weeks talking about rhythms, and now we're right smack dab in the middle of talking about communication. Because so much of our conflict, it is either elicited by communication, it's caused by poor communication, or it is not resolved because of poor communication. And so some of the things we've been talking about in this communication series are listening with your face, giving your family the gift of your face, not being distracted, looking down in your phone, looking at the TV screen or the screens that are all around us. We talked about how to give words of affirmation, and that is a, really specific thing, like being very specific and giving words of affirmation. Today we're talking about something that is deeply convicting. Very, very deeply convicting. I'm going to try to get through this without being too emotional, because this is something that is. Is hard.

Today we're talking about the power of a sincere apology

Today we're talking about the power of a sincere apology. I wish I could say something that was easier to do, something more fun, more exciting. But today we're talking about apologizing and how we build stronger families by saying that we're sorry. That's so important to do now. The way that our culture handles being wrong, we are constantly fighting culture and the way that scripture tells us to respond. I'm talking. These are two diametrically opposed sets of instruction stories about what it means to be human. And so I want to dive into this a little bit because I think it's important for us to recognize as families what we're up against in the culture and how it subtly reshapes us to be anti apology. It really does it, because culture's narrative is protect yourself at all costs. You are the hero of your own story. You are the most powerful. Like, you, are in control of your own destiny. That's what we see this trend with manifesting, you know, I'm gonna see it, I'm gonna manifest it. And they. And culture says that apology is weakness. If you admit you're wrong, you'll lose power, you'll lose the upper hand. Never give someone something they can use against you. And we see this manifest in families by a parent snapping at their kid, and we lose it. And we look at them and we say something like this, okay, this is convicting. Here we go. You just really know how to push my buttons, don't you? And that tells them, hey, this is your fault, not mine. You triggered me. It's your fault. You deserved that. And the goal there that we have is to maintain control and maintain our image. Like, make sure everybody knows it's not me, it's you. Anything negative is projected on you. And we see this everywhere with image management because we are now accustomed to public figures issuing carefully worded statements. Many of you, I'm sure everybody, in the world heard about the. The two business executives that were exposed having an affair at A Coldplay concert. And if you look at the apology after that, it's like the bring in the PR firms. One person's going to say this. One person's going to say this. Now we're going to reframe the narrative. Now we're going to turn it into a media tour. And. And these social media apologies are created not to repair relationships, but just to avoid backlash and maintain image controls. And we say we see this in our families. Like, I'm sorry if you were offended. I'm sorry if you were hurt. It's not reputation. That's reputation management. That's not repentance. And the goal is to minimize the consequences. Not to own what you did was wrong, but to make sure that, hey, let's craft the narrative so the fallout from this is minimal and I don't feel very much painful. Culture also presents apology as conditional. It teaches, hey, I'll apologize if you apologize first or if you deserve it. And we see this in families between marriages where spouses are in conflict, where they're both waiting, saying, why should I apologize first? She's the one that hurt me. He's the one that did this first. This is his fault. He should apologize. I'm not going to apologize first. And you know what we're trying to do there? The goal is not to repair the relationship. It's to win the moral high ground. You want to be right and say, yes, I was right and you were wrong, and you have finally yielded to the weight of that culture also tells us to apologize to protect our identity. Because this deep belief that if I say I did something wrong, it means something's wrong with me, and if something's wrong with me, then I'm canceled forever and my life is no good. So instead of owning our behavior, we deflect, we justify, we really constantly rewrite the narrative. And we have revisionist history that is running rampant. Because after time, after we've talked with our little circle of friends, or maybe we even go on AI and say, you know, this used to be, on social media, they would say, like, am I the jerk here? And now people are asking like, oh, no, it wasn't you. Oh, no, you. You did right. And especially if you're going to AI, which a lot of people are, it's sycophantic, and it's telling you, hey, avoid shame at all costs. Like, this was not you. We can rewrite this narrative, but the truth is the biblical narrative tells us to humble ourselves and to be restored. Scripture does not give any instructions on protecting our image. But it does give us commands to surrender our pride. Now, this is what's hard about the Christian faith, because when you're called to it, you think, oh, become a Christian, follow God, and your life will be better. When actually the truth is God's word says, deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me, and it will cost you something, but the reward is so worth it.

Scripture tells us that apology is strength through humility

And I was talking earlier this week, with my guest, who was talking about choosing two paths that are hard, but one is fruitful and one is fruitless. But Scripture tells us that apology is strength through humility. Colossians 3:12 says, clothe yourselves with compassion and humility. Wear these attributes like a garment. And in God's kingdom, admitting wrong is not weakness. It is spiritual maturity. And so if a parent spoke harshly, they can say, hey, even if the kid did push their buttons, even if they did disobey, even if they did do things that really can just drive you up the wall, you can still say, I spoke harshly to you earlier, that was wrong, and I saw that it hurt you, and I'm sorry. It doesn't diminish your authority, and it builds trust and credibility. And Scripture also tells us to practice apology as confession, not a performance, which we are so attuned to craft it for. a performance. First John 1:9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Biblical apology is honest. It is very specific. That is biblical apology. Instead of, I'm sorry if you felt hurt. How many of you have got an apology like that where you think, well, thanks, that really didn't help at all. But if you say something like, I was impatient and dismissive, I was wrong, I'm sorry, that's super powerful. And the truth is before God, not the image before people. That is putting the truth before God, not. Not putting your image before the importance of people who were created by God. And. And we are also instructed in Scripture to apologize, to take the initiative in doing that. Matthew tells us, first, go and be reconciled. Scripture calls us, go first, don't wait. Even if your child was disrespectful, even if your spouse was inconsiderate, even if someone else was in the wrong, if you own any percentage of that, you can still prioritize right relationship over being right. And apology helps us to embrace our identity that is rooted in Christ, not in performance. Because the Gospel frees us to admit our wrong, because our identity is not based on Being perfect, which is so freeing. That is freeing because in the world you have to be perfect. And if something's not perfect, you've got to polish it, you've got to reframe it, you've got to retell it. But in the gospel we can say, yeah, I am imperfect, I'm sorry. And, and we know from Romans 5, 8, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That means I can say I was wrong without fear of rejection, without fear of our identity in Christ being impacted. We can live from a place of security, not from a place of self, self protection. So when we look at the side by side contrast, culture says, protect yourself at all cost. Scripture says, humble yourself, period. Culture says, hey, win the argument. You gotta win. Here's, here's how you speak to, well, here's how you craft your points. Here's how you use, body language to your advantage. But scripture says, hey, don't win the argument, win the relationship. That's the goal. Culture says, explain your behavior, justify it. Scripture says, confess your sin and he is faithful and just to forgive it. Culture says, hey, wait your turn. And scripture says, go first. Don't wait until they apologize first. And these are some real life family scenarios. Let's imagine a parent and a, a child where culture says, hey, you need to calm down. this is a you problem, this is not a me problem. Where biblical we can say, hey, I was impatient and I was unkind with my words, I'm sorry, let's start over. In a marriage, we say you, you see it all the time. I know that every healthy marriage on the planet has said something like, well, I wouldn't have said that if you hadn't done this or if you hadn't done that. It wouldn't have provoked me to do this. Instead of a biblical lens of saying, what I said was hurtful to you and I take responsibility for that. And then even when between adult children and parents, we're seeing increased hurt that is existing in adult child families, and we, culture will say, hey, that was a long time ago. Why are you bringing that up? But biblical says, I didn't realize how that was impacting you. I'm sorry for my part in that, no matter how long ago it was. And a culture that avoids apology. Honestly, the product of that in my view, is fragile relationships because there is no resilience built in there. There's something really powerful about living with someone as your family, about living in a marriage relationship, living in a parent child relationship, and seeing people at Their very worst, because you are with people on, their very most vulnerable times. When they're most tired, when they're most stressed, and when they feel safe, when they don't feel like they have to have it all together. And when we have that rupture and repair and rupture and repair each time, it's going to build trust. That is a biblical model rather than a fragile relationship that just says, okay, there's hurt here, let's end the relationship, let's ghost, let's go away. And a family that embraces humble confession creates safety and trust and healing. But if it's so powerful, why is it so, so hard?

An apology is an intentional tool in relational repair

So I want to talk about what's really under our resistance to saying I'm sorry. Because we live in a culture of self protection, of blame shifting and of canceling instead of reconciling. And again, Colossians 3 says, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. And when we look at those apologies as not just words but, but an intentional tool in relational repair, you can see why I'm so excited about the possibilities of making your relationship stronger. Because families are where again, we hurt each other the most, but where healing matters the most. And that sincere apology, it rebuilds trust, it models emotional maturity, and it creates safety for children and spouses. And even when we look at children and family over a specific time frame, young kids, they're learning what accountability looks like by watching their parents, parents saying I'm sorry. That builds security and strength. And for teenagers, apologies are going to rebuild those bridges that are burned and reburned and reburned over the conflict heavy years. It demonstrates respect and mutual dignity. And for adult children, listen, it is never too late to try to repair even decades old wounds. It is never too late to say that you're sorry. And children don't need perfect families. They need families who will engage in apology and repair. When was the last time that you said to someone, I was wrong? When we come back, I'll talk about why apologizing is so hard. The barriers that we have, what we can do about it, how we can overcome it. I'll be right back.

An ultrasound provided by preborn helped Candace hear her unborn baby's heartbeat

On the other side of this break,

 : Candace talks about finding out she was pregnant. Thankfully, an ultrasound provided by preborn allowed her to hear her baby's heartbeat. The sonogram sealed the deal for me. My baby was like this tiny little spectrum of hope. And I saw his heart beating on the screen. And knowing that there's Life growing inside. I mean that sonogram changed my life. I went from just Candace to mom. Thank you to everybody that has given these gifts. You guys are giving more than money. You guys are giving love.

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Children of God by Third Day: Praise to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our God and our King. To him we will sing in his great mercy he has given us life. Now we can be called the children of God. Great is the love that the Father has given us what he has delivered us, what he has to live us. Children of God, sing your song and rejoice all the love that he has given us. Song Children of God by the blood of his song we have been redeemed and we can be called Children of God.

Third Day is touring for their 30 year anniversary tour

Children of God Dr. Jessica Peck welcome back friends. That is Children of God by third day. And hey, third day is currently on tour for their 30 year anniversary tour. So if you are feeling old like I am because I grew up listening to Third Day, oh, you are not alone. My friends, they actually were just in town. I had tickets to go. Circumstances aligned. I was not able to go at the last minute. And let me tell you, it was a little bit humbling to say, okay, I have these Third Day tickets to give away and all the young people in the room saying third who? What? All I can say to that is bless your hearts. You just don't know good music when you hear it. But I'm so glad that they are on tour and we are children of God.

For many families, apology feels like a threat

And today we are talking about children of God apologizing. We're doing a Friday on a Wednesday because of good Friday this week. And I'm talking about this week's healthy habit of apologizing. This is something that's really foundational for families. And when we talk about the need to apologize many times for many families, apology feels like a threat. It feels scary. Because when conflict happens, when we know we've messed up, we know we've hurt someone, our brains shift into that fight, flight or freeze response, that kind of stress response. And saying I was wrong can feel like I don't want to lose control. I don't want to be overpowered. I don't want to be further hurt. So if your body feels tense, your heart races, or you're shutting down during conflict. It's not just attitude, it's not just choice, honestly, it's hardwiring of your brain. And this is where shame versus guilt comes in. Because guilt says, okay, I did something wrong, I need to repair it. Shame says, I am something wrong, I need to hide myself. And that's what happens. The difference between running to repair or hurrying to hide. And many people were raised in environments where mistakes. If you made a mistake, you were going to be punished, you were going to be humiliated, there were going to be consequences. So admitting wrong now feels like I'm just going to reactivate that childhood wound and feel like I'm confirming to the whole world that I am worthless. But let me remind you of a powerful truth from Romans 8:1. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We can faith face our mistakes. We can face our sin without being crushed by it, because our Savior was crushed for us. And these learned family patterns are really deeply ingrained. Many people don't realize you have inherited your conflict style. When I married my husband, we had very different family ways of conflict. He came from an Italian family who talked loud and used their hands. I came from a family where it was like, yes, we talk about conflict, but not to the person we're in conflict with. This is hard to do. So some of the common patterns that might have been in your home when you were growing up is no apology. Homes, like conflict is just ignored, is swept under the rug. You are not going to get an apology. You may have grown up in an explosive home where there's conflict. So instantly there's going to be yelling, maybe throwing things, blaming, chaos, emotional intensity. Or maybe you grew up in a perfection driven home where mistakes were just unacceptable, they just were unacceptable. And you have to hide that, reframe that in any way that you need to. So as an adult, as adults, adults, apology often feels very foreign. It feels unsafe, it feels unnecessary. And if no one modeled healthy repair for you, listen, you, you're not broken as much as you are unlearned, unpracticed. You've got to unlearn and relearn new ways of relating. And one of those ways of relating is an apology. And family trauma doesn't just affect what happened to you. It shapes how you respond when things in the future happen to you. And trauma, when we experience trauma, if you grew up in a house that, that had trauma, and especially emotional neglect or emotional abuse, often we think of trauma like physical abuse, but we know that emotional trauma is just as detrimental, if not more so than other forms of physical abuse. And so if you grew up in a home that was emotionally unsafe, that was very highly critical, that was neglectful of your emotions, that was unpredictable in the caregiver response that you would get. You learned things like don't admit fault, it'll be used against you, stay guarded to survive. And apology feels like dropping your armor and you just feel exposed and vulnerable all over again. And trauma usually tends to push people in two different directions. And let me tell you, those two different directions that people go in, usually people from each one of those directions find each other and marry each other because opposite attract. So usually you'll have one who over apologizes, who has that hyper responsibility, like everything is my fault, I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible person. They apologize constantly, even when they're not wrong. And it's rooted in fear of conflict and just that desire to keep peace at any cost. The other people are under apologizing, they're avoidant, they're defensive. They're saying, hey, I'm not taking any of the blame for this. I am struggling to see any of my fault in this. And that is just rooted and self protection and fear of shame or control, Both are trauma responses. Neither one is truth and truth of God's word, truth of the situation. And when we have unresolved pain, it clouds the present conflict. Because the intensity of a reaction often isn't about what's happening right now in the moment. It's about the feelings and the trauma response and the condition response that it represents. So if somebody says, you know, if your spouse says, hey, why didn't you remember this? Why did you forget it? Why did you drop this ball? The, the reaction is, oh, oh, I feel defensive, I feel sharp, I feel reactive because I hear you saying, I messed up, I wasn't good enough. you don't love me anymore. I mean, it is a runaway train. And we've got to acknowledge that we do carry our own wounds and we see things through the lens m of that. And some parents may think, hey, I've sacrificed everything, I've done everything that I could. I've been hurt by my spouse, by my children, by my adult children. I've done my best. What do I even have to apologize for? I'm trying everything. That feeling is so real and it's relatable. But here's the tension. You can be a loving parent, you can be a sacrificial parent and still have moments that require repair because no one is perfect. And your intentions may be good, but that impact of our actions, it still matters, even when it seems so small to us.

The Gospel invites us to interrupt patterns of behavior, not perpetuate them

But the hope in this is from 2nd Corinthians 5:17. If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. And the Gospel invites us to interrupt those patterns of behavior, not repeat them and perpetuate them. And it takes practice and it's hard. And you may not be responsible for what happened to you or what shaped you, but you have the privilege to shape the future of your family around you and listen. The gospel meets trauma. Here, Jesus met people in their trauma. Jesus is safe to be honest with because he already knows your sin. He knows every thought, every word. He knows the tossing and turnings in our bed. He knows every hair on your head. And he responds with truth and grace. Jesus says, you don't have to defend yourself anymore because Christ has already secured your identity. And that frees you to say, I was wrong, without fear of losing your worth in Christ. And healing is going to happen not in some one magical moment, one made for TV movie moment in your family. Healing happens in small, everyday acts of obedience, not perfection, not overnight transformation, not a bolt of lightning that hits your house and somehow transforms you. It comes through one apology, one moment of humility, one repaired conversation. And so if apologizing feels hard, don't just think like, what's wrong with me? Think what shaped me to respond like this. And your resistance isn't random. It has a story. And the Gospel is stepping right into that story. Not to shame you or defeat you or condemn you, but to transform you. So if apology feels difficult, is there a history there? The good news is you're not stuck in that place in history.

Let's talk about what healthy healing apology actually looks like in real life

So let's talk about what healthy healing apology actually looks like in real life. Because you can't pass down what you've never received unless you intentionally choose something different. And some parents think, why should I apologize when I've been hurt too? But apology is not about who had the greater wrong, who hurt who more. It's about owning your part of that. Romans 12:18 says, as if it is possible, as far as it depends on you live at peace with everyone. And that key distinction means that apologizing doesn't mean excusing everybody else's behavior or ignoring your own hurt. It doesn't mean that at all. But it does mean if you walk in obedience and you release your own pride, you take responsibility. That is a repair, a path for repair. And that's what we are accountable for. When we teach our kids to apologize and when we model it ourselves, we're doing so much more than teaching manners. We are shaping how they understand relationships and their responsibility and even how they see God. And when we apologize to our children, we're teaching them personal responsibility. Children are not known. They're not born knowing how to own their mistakes or how to repair their harm. But apologies teach, teaches them, hey, the things that I do can hurt other people. I'm responsible for that. That builds character, and it helps kids to develop emotional intelligence. Because if the child is hurt and you apologize, that's saying, okay, I felt hurt, I felt wronged. And this is how that's repair. It builds empathy and awareness. And they recognize that if, I feel that way when someone apologizes to me, I can make someone else feel that way by apologizing to them. It's one of the earliest ways that children learn to step outside of themselves and to consider empathy for each other. Because we know the toddlers don't have it right. It's mine, mine, mine. And some of us just never progress past that toddler stage. But when we model apologies for our family, it creates healthy relationships with, mistakes. Not perfect families, but healthy ones. Because when you don't have an apology culture, kids are going to hide their mistakes. They're going to lie about them, they're going to blame other people. But if they know that there's a way to apologize, to take accountability and to recover, they. They know I can do something wrong and I can still be loved. I can make a mistake and it can be okay. And that reduces shame and anxiety and that push for perfection. And when you're. When a parent apologizes, it sends such a powerful message. It says, you matter. You are important. Our, relationship matters more than my pride in this moment. What a beautiful way to create safety and trust and emotional security in your families. That is what shapes their view of God. Because then they know that it's if. If they. If there's not an apology culture in your home, don't apologize because God feels distant or harsh. But if you apologize sincerely, God loves you, God forgives you. God is relational. God is just. God is merciful. God grants new mercies every morning. For as far as the east is the. From the west, so far as he removed your transgressions from you, that is what we're modeling to them about God. And it also builds powerful things in families. It restores trust because every conflict creates a small rupture. But apology is the bridge that comes Back. And without repair, that distance grows and resentment builds. Listen, with repair, trust is strengthened, even after conflict. You want to create a culture of safety in your family, of emotional safety. Make apology normal again. Just make sure that your people feel safe, to speak honestly, to admit their mistakes, and to be known. And listen, if you're hearing background noise, we have some construction going on. And I apologize sincerely for that in the middle of here. But listen, don't let it distract from what I'm telling you. A home that practices apology makes it a safe place to be human, which is how God made us to be. Apologies can also break cycles of blame and defensiveness, because without apology, conflict is just going to escalate. People defend themselves, there will be increased conflict, they deflect, they will just dissociate and become numb, or they will withdraw and they will just be away from you. But with apology, when someone chooses humility, that cycle is interrupted. And one person's humility can show shift the entire tone of the home. And kids carry what they learn at home into their friendships, into their college, into their work relationships, into their marriage. You're not just solving today's conflict, you're shaping how they're going to handle that for decades to come. And so families that don't repair, well, they don't avoid conflict. They. They, they avoid conflict, and they just kind of, you know, sit and exist and they're stagnant. But families who do learn to repair, well, they don't avoid conflict. They're not afraid of it. They don't shy away from it. They move through it. They build a bridge, they repair. And they experience deeper relationships and greater resilience and stronger emotional bonds. And so apologies are teaching children how to take responsibility, how to recover from your mistake, mistakes, how to move forward and repair with grace. They teach hearts to stay soft, and they teach families how to stay connected even when things go wrong. And not all apologies bring healing. Some are actually harmful. So if you say something like, I'm sorry, if you felt hurt, I'm sorry, but that's not what I meant. These are just blame shifting. So a biblical formula for apology is name the wrong what you did. I was wrong. For speaking harshly, for raising my voice, for using unkind words, for walking out when we were having that, for slamming down my books on the counter or whatever it was, take full responsibility, say, that was wrong. I'm sorry for this, that was wrong. And I regret that hurt you. I regret that that caused you pain. Ask specifically for forgiveness. Will you forgive me? And say, I'm working on, responding differently. Please be patient with me. And James 5:16 says, Confess your sins to each other.

A sincere apology helps the body to heal and to regulate

This is a powerful thing. A real apology is going to restore dignity and build trust and reflect the heart of Christ. That is so important because when conflict goes unrepaired, that body, your body is going to go into stress mode. That's stress hormones, heart rate, muscle tension, anxiety, irritability, emotional distance. But when you give a sincere apology, you start to calm and to regulate. You have decreased stress. You can think more clearly. The brain is releasing connection chemicals like oxytocin to repair and build that bridge. And a real apology literally helps the body to heal and to exhale. It's not just relational. This is physiological. God designed repair through apology to bring peace to our relationships, to our bodies, our minds, and our spirit. Listen, when we come back, I'm going to tell you about some Homefront headlines and answer some questions and see how all of this connects to healthy apologies. I'll be right back after this break.

The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations

 : The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations. You can't use it to change the oil in your vehicle or get rid of carpet stains It won't walk the dog, won't pick up the dry cleaning or take the kids to practice. But while you're doing those things, you can listen to your favorite AFR content through the app on your phone, smart device, or Roku. Just go to your app store or visit afr.net Listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app.

In Jesus' Name by Darlene Zschech: God is fighting for us. God is on our side. He has overcome. Yes, he has overcome. We will not be shaken. We will not be moved. Jesus, you are here carrying our burdens, covering our shame. He has over. Yes, he has overcome. We will not be shaken. We will not be moved. Jesus, you are here. M. In Jesus name. Dr. Jessica Peck welcome back, friends. That is in Jesus name by Darlene Zschech and I pray that you're having a good Easter week. Listen, this is a great reminder to go to church on Sunday. If you're already planning to go to church, invite someone to go. This is a great time to go. If you can find a Maundy Thursday service or a Good Friday service, I encourage you to do that, too. And today we are having Friday on a Wednesday because Friday is Good Friday. And anticipation of the holiest observation that we have of the year, honoring the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. And we are talking today about our healthy habit. I've been speaking today about the communication habit. Of making it normal to apologize sincerely in your family. And I'll come back to that in just a little bit. But I want to answer some questions about some Homefront headlines. These are things that are going on in the news that I am following so you don't have to. And I'm telling you what is going on, why it is relevant to your family and how you should respond to it. And when we talk about apologizing sincerely, one of the things that we see is AI really changing human communication. Professors are seeing it. For me, as a professor, I can see it because AI will pick up on a certain word. There's word trends on AI, and then all of a sudden, everybody in their paper is saying, moreover and, moreover and moreover. That's the one I'm seeing right now. Hint to all the students listening out there, that's a big flag for AI. Or we see that AI really tells us what we want to hear. And increasingly, I've been talking about people going to AI to ask for help with their problems, to say, hey, here's the situation. Was I wrong in? And what we know from Boots on the Ground Experience is that AI is really sycophantic. It really is going to tell you what you want to hear because its job is to keep you engaged on the platform. Its job is not to disciple you, to give you spiritual discernment, to give you tough truths. It is going to tell you what you want to hear. Now, we're seeing research back this up what we already knew from Experience on the Ground. But there was a major study released this week that found that AI chatbots often act overly agreeable. let's just all say it for what it is. It's sycophantic. They affirm users even when they are wrong or making harmful decisions. And these systems, these AI systems are designed to please the users. Now, sometimes what's happening now is it justifies bad behavior, it reinforces poor thinking, it avoids correcting people, and it does it in a very flattering way. It doesn't just say, no, you're not wrong. It just says, oh, not only are you not wrong, you are the most beautiful, the strongest, the most talented, the most generous human who has ever walked the face of the planet. How in the world could they be upset with you? And this is what our children are facing. And research shows that people actually prefer that AI agrees with them, and that creates the feedback loop, because that's how AI is designed, is to give you more of what you're seeking and that makes users more convinced that they're right, less likely to consider other perspectives, and less likely to repair relationships like apologizing. So what does this mean? This is a deeply formational moment, especially for kids and teens who are going to AI like we would go to Google or Internet search. And AI is really a yes man or a yes woman voice. It's a yes voice in a child's life saying, you're right, they're wrong, you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to apologize for. And that undermines everything that we just talked about. Humility, accountability, acknowledgment of the imperfectness of the human condition, apology and repair. And kids may start forming their identity and moral reasoning from a system that is not challenging them, that is not correcting them, that doesn't require any growth. It just affirms them, in their unhealthy behavior, where they are. And if a child always has a voice in their pocket telling them, hey, you're right, they're going to really struggle to hear correction from the people who love the most. Which is why we have to model apology now more than ever. Model what that looks like, that it's not scary and that it is normal, and that we're commanded to do that. So what should you do about this? Well, we need to continue to teach AI discernment. AI is a tool. AI is a robot. AI does not care about you. It is not a human. It does not have wisdom or discernment or the Holy Spirit. It is a tool that can help you. It is not a source of ultimate truth. Normalize challenge in your home when you have disagreement, disagreement, it gets healthy. That's how relationships grow. And the pathway to relational intimacy happens through conflict. And so ask reflective questions. What do you think someone else might say about this? I saw this this week in one of my kids friends group where they were asking a question about what do you think about this? And really the advice they got was go and ask your friends who are living a, breathing, walking, healthy relationship with Christ. Ask them what they think. Don't just ask AI. Don't just ask your echo chamber. Ask the people who know you, who love you, who care about you, who care enough to tell the truth, and really families, I cannot emphasize enough to watch your home be on guard for emotional reliance on AI. Ah, do not let it replace real relationships right under your nose. And it can happen really, really fast. Just reinforce that biblical truth. Wisdom includes correction, which is so important. And some of these things that are happening with AI, it is just unbelievable. Another article I saw was about an accidental hacker. Okay, so this is what happened here. There was a software engineer who accidentally discovered a design flaw that gave him access. Okay, this I want you to imagine the software engineer, wherever he is, maybe, maybe he's in his mom's basement, I don't know, I don't know where he is. But he has discovered a flaw that all of a sudden he had control over 7,000 robot vacuums in the world. Okay, but when, it's kind of funny when you think about it on the surface, but then you think all of a sudden he can access live camera feeds, microphones, home layouts, and all of a sudden these devices become unintentional surveillance tools and we have weak security in smart homes. This is really kind of scary. And this, these are things that are all about privacy and safety and awareness in our modern homes. Because a lot of us have smart devices. We have cameras, we have voice assistants. This comes with hidden exposure. This also relates back to apology culture because when we would make a mistake in the past, it didn't live on cameras everywhere. We didn't have that intense fear of amplified elevated exposure. It was just, okay, this is a conflict between me and you. I said things, you said things. I apologized, you apologized, we're okay now. Now it's like, okay, well now the whole world is going to watch your video and comment on it. But it is a good time to be aware that devices inside your home may collect sensitive data. They may be vulnerable to breaches. And so I really encourage you to not have smart devices as much as possible in your kids bedrooms especially. That is where they are supposed to feel the most safe. That is where they're supposed to feel the most vulnerable. So as much as you can creating tech free zones in your home, really be very, very thoughtful. Thoughtful about any smart tech that you bring into your bedroom. That is just really important. That's a sacred space that should be for rest. And we're careful about who we let into our homes physically, but we're just less careful. We open, we leave the door unlocked for digital visitors and in a way that we don't do for real in person visitors. So audit your home. What devices have cameras, have microphones? Make sure that you're teaching your kids about having secure systems, strong passwords like don't, don't give, don't let your kids give the, the, their friends the password to the robot vacuum. Okay?

Other people are bringing devices into your home that may have cameras

And maybe that's the takeaway from here, but just make sure that you're Talking about that, because here's the other thing is that other people are bringing devices into your home that may have cameras. So you may need to have some conversation about that. When your kids have friends over, are they recording you? And they go back and say, oh, look, Mr. And Mrs. Jones had a really, a crazy fight. Here's a recording of the whole thing. These kinds of things just are really difficult to navigate in 21st century living. And so just because it's in your home doesn't mean that you have absolute privacy. Unfortunately, that's just the way that it is. And technically, technology should be serving your family, not, not. Not serving your family anxiety at all. Well, in a completely unrelated article, but one that I really wanted to bring forward to you today because it really did concerned me, this is something that I've been following from some case studies, some random, weird case studies that presented in emergency departments that emergency providers had a really hard time figuring out. These were kind of like medical mysteries of people having symptoms where, you know, they were having, stomach aches or repeated GI upset or things like that, and people couldn't figure out what was wrong. Well, what we're starting to know is that metal bristles on grill brushes, they can break off into your food, and then they can be accidentally swallowed, and they can cause internal injuries. They're so small, it's hard to catch them on X ray. But I really want to implore you, as Easter weekend's coming, I hope that a lot of you will grill food for your families. But know that there's over 10.2 million grill brushes right now that have been recalled because of that safety risk. So get rid of the bristle brushes and go with the ones that are the sponge kind that don't have the bristles. And so this is not an obscure product. This is something you're gonna see at every backyard barbecue. And kids are especially vulnerable because they're less likely to notice something wrong in the food. And sometimes you just don't even note it. So stop using those recalled grill brushes immediately. Check your grill tools. Make sure you switch to a safer alternative, a bristle free brush, a scraper, a grillstone. And, and be mindful of that. That is really important.

Let me give you a simple three step apology formula ahead of Easter

Well, listen, before we end our time together, I want to go back to the apology, and I want to give you, as we're leaving, a time together, and as we're thinking and turning our hearts and minds toward Easter, let me give you a simple three step apology formula, because I firmly believe that every single Person listening and speaking, that would be me. Has someone they need to apologize to for something. And if you forget anything else today, just remember this. These three steps, own it, feel it, and act on it. Those are the three steps. Own it. Name what you did. Be clear, be specific. No excuses. No, but you. No, you know, if you just. I spoke harshly. That was wrong. No excuses. That's it. Own it. The second one is feel it. Express that genuine regret. Let the other person know that you said, see and care about the impact. So after you've owned it, I did this specifically wrong. It was wrong. Say, I hate that I hurt you. I can see that I broke your trust. I can see that I hurt your feelings. I can see that I made you feel small. I'm sorry. And then act on it, Ask for forgiveness. Say, I am sorry. Will you please forgive me. I want to handle that differently. And, own it, feel it, act on it. That is the three step apology that somehow we have made into something that seems so hard, but God designed us for repair. God is a God who repairs, who restores, who redeems, who renews. And. And as we look at the Easter, holiday coming up, and we look at Easter, we have to remember our ability to apologize flows from the forgiveness that we have received in Jesus Christ. At Easter. We remember Jesus didn't justify our sin, except that he paid for it. He was the justification. And Ephesians 4:32 tells us, Be kind and compassionate, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. Just as in Christ, God forgave you. One of the most powerful testimonies I've ever heard on forgiveness came from Corrie 10. Boom. And thinking about. She was a woman who was imprisoned in a, concentration camp during World War II, and she experienced unspeakable horrors. The Hiding Place is an excellent book, by the way, to read, to read with your family. Such a great testimony of faith. And I remember her saying, meeting the guard, and she didn't want to meet the guard who had abused her. And she was so convicted about Christ's forgiveness for her that she felt compelled to forgive. We don't apologize to earn love. We apologize because we have already received it, because he loved us first. And the cross shows us the seriousness of our sin and the depth of our grace and forgiveness. There is forgiveness and boundaries. We'll talk about forgiveness later on in the year. Right now, we're just talking about apologizing when we did wrong, about asking more for forgiveness. So if there's someone in your life right now, your spouse, your child, your parent, your sister, your sibling who needs to hear I'm sorry from you. Whether it's something big or something small. Don't wait for the perfect moment. Don't rehearse it. Don't minimize the impact. Before today ends. Go first. Go first. Make the call. Have the conversation. Send the text. If you must. If you must. I, prefer conversation. But mean it. Because strong families are not families without conflict. They're families that know how to repair. And sometimes the most powerful worlds you can speak are just. I was wrong. I am sorry. And listen, I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory. But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. You can learn more about that powerful truth about how God has given his Son to give eternal life for anyone who calls on the name of the Lord. You can learn more about that at church. I pray that you would meet Jesus Christ. And I'll see you right here tomorrow. Happy early Easter.

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.