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: And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And listen, we are going to talk about health status today. We're going to talk about literal health, we're talking about nutrition, but really that is not just about physical health. This is a spiritual health, an emotional health issue and something that is definitely having a cultural moment right here. We are living in an era that is obsessed with physical presentation, with our bodies, with before and after photos, with viral weight loss transformations. Those seem to be making the rounds. I was talking, with my adult, young adult daughters and trying to, to explain to them what it was like to grow up in the 90s and trying to explain the term heroin chic. Yes, I feel like that has come back around which is just this glorification. Now we just have all of these cultural changes where we, the the ideal body type changes. But we are seeing right now significant jaw dropping weight loss transformations from celebrities and people, just everyday people we know. And there are all kinds of things that are marketed to us for this, injectable solutions, promises of finally getting control. And look back over the last few decades and we see cabbage soup fads, we see keto, we see whole 30, we see low fat, low carb detox teas and now of course, GLP1 medications. And what the modern history of diet culture tells me is very, very clear. The demand is enormous and if it's making this much money, it means that this is resonating with so many people. And we see the market for GLP1s. That's a glucagon like peptide. If you're wondering what that means, that is a medication agonist is experiencing unprecedented growth. I pulled some stats today, as best as I could find. And these weight loss drugs are projected to reach $200 billion in annual sales by 2030. That is an Insane amount of money. And today's conversation and the guests and the book that we're featuring is definitely especially for women. But this is not just a woman issue. Women often carry and talk about more that emotional, the mental, the spiritual weight, I don't know, pun intended, of the. The food and body image. But many men have struggle with this. They're watching their wives struggle and there's no safe answer, like, does this make me look fat? There is no safe answer. That is the question that no man ever wants to answer, wants to be asked. But there's also men who, who struggle with their weight, too. The GLP1 trend, we've seen a lot of men featured in that. Just this week, I saw a story about a viral video with Vanna White from Wheel of Fortune announcing her marriage. But the whole comments were about Ryan Seacrest and the perceptions of weight loss. This is a conversation that is happening in public. And we see these public shares of dramatic transformations, but we also see private struggles. Well, we don't see those private struggles of identity and discipleship and worth. And for Christian women in particular, there is a really painful contradiction because we say we are fearfully and wonderfully made. And yet you're at war with your physical self. There's tracking, there's restricting, there's eliminating, starting over, regaining weight, losing it, carrying shame, all of these things. I know so many, people are saying, yep, that's me. Been there, done that. And somehow our worth becomes tangled up in what we eat, how we look, even though we, we know intuitively in our brains that's not it.
Brandice Lardner's new book Fully Nourished releases today
So today we are going to introduce a heart shift. And my guest today isn't offering another plan just to fix you to once and for all, you know, have the diet that works. She is inviting you to something so much more radically different. And not rules, not restrictions. We're gonna talk about gratitude, which is not usually something you would think, and that is something that I love. I've got certified nutrition coach and health expert Brandice Lardner. She is owner of the Grace Filled Plate And she is joining us to talk about her new book, which releases today, this very day. This is launch day. Launch day for a book is huge. And she is here with us, and I'm so grateful for that. It is a book called Fully Nourished. And it's an invitation to step off, pun intended. That exhausting treadmill of dieting and into the freedom that Jesus offers. Brandice, I am so glad to have you here. I've really been looking Forward to this conversation.
Brandice Lardner: Oh, my goodness, me too. And then when I saw you had some availability on launch day, I was like, I'm totally taking that spot. because this is just such a great conversation, and I'm already just fired up listening to you share the intro.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, it's something that people are talking about with their friends, you know, but. But there are. There are a lot of fears and a lot of taboos around, like, what do we say? What do we not say? What's okay to say? What do I say? And kind of, you know, just keep that a little bit secret. But this is a real issue for so many people, and I would love for you to start just with a little bit of your own personal story brand is introduce yourself to our audience. I know. I've read your book. All throughout you share your personal story, share how the Lord has brought you here to share this message of encouragement with us today.
Brandice Lardner: Absolutely. So it's funny that you talk about heroin chic, because I was a child of the 90s, and so these kids today, they want to be, you know, online YouTube influencers. But in my day, it was the day of the supermodel, right? And so that was what I lived for. I remember just sitting in my room, flipping through magazines, comparing myself to these images. And back then, we had all of these little modeling schools, and so you would go and, you know, they would charge you tons of money to teach you how to walk or pose or whatever it would be. and so at the age of 14, I went and had a photo shoot with a photographer. And. And oh, my goodness, you look back at pictures of me, I was adorable, right? And this man told me I needed to lose 15 pounds. And with best of intentions, my mom and I didn't know any better. I went on this 500 calorie diet right at this time of adolescence. And it completely wrecked me emotionally and mentally, but also physically. I think as my body was developing hormonally, it was just this. This awful mix that really set me up for decades of struggle with my weight and trying to manage that. And so I went through various struggles with different, you know, anorexia and bulimia and compulsive overeating. Like, I was checking all of the struggle boxes with food and, you know, counselors and inpatient treatment and all of these amazing resources, but I still struggled. And it wasn't a lack of information. I mean, God's word has everything we need for a life and godliness, but I just struggle with how to Apply it in my day to day life. Like, you know, I knew it was true, but what did it look like to be a living sacrifice? How did I renew my mind about body image or wanting to comfort, eat? And so I really went on this long journey of getting those professional accolades. Right. Sometimes we do things to try to fix ourselves. and seeing really the beauty of like habit science and how any psychological program or like technique that works is based in God's word, like mind renewal. You know, you go to cognitive behavioral therapy is something the Bible told us about, but I love that. And he had something with skin on it where I could say, okay, when I'm faced with this negativity about my body, like now I have kind of this, this model to go in and really, craft a, biblical rebuttal that like, I could get on board with. And so over the years, through using the tools that I learned through habit change and coaching and nutrition and then merging it with what the Lord was teaching me, just developed something that worked for me and then went on to teach other women how to do it. And that's what the publisher was really excited about because it wasn't just something that I knew was good. It was something that I had seen help people over and over and over again. And like you said, it is upside down, but kind of right side up as we start with grace and gratitude and really address those mindsets, they keep us stuck. Because for years I thought if I could just stop that outward behavior than the inside would be okay, right? I could just stop overeating or I could just exercise more. But the distortion and the, the mentality of lack and that like, negative self image that came from the enemy, right? That until that was sorted out, nothing else was gonna work for me because I was coming from a faulty foundation. And so I needed to firm that foundation on biblical truth in Christ so that every success was his through his strength and for his glory. And that's really the model that, I'm excited to talk about today.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It always comes from our personal testimony so that we can share hope with other people. I had the same experience when I wrote a book. I wrote a book that I thought was full of great professional help. And they said, no, where's your personal story? Like, this is what is going to minister to people. Knowing that you have walked this road. And brand is.
Eating disorders are the most deadly mental health disorder
One of the things that really strikes me about the story that you just told me is you, you talked about this long road, a lot of damage, and you know, you Covered a lot of ground there. That is a lot of pain and suffering that happens, honestly, in that, you know, and you're able to sit on the other side of it now. But the thing that really strikes me is you talked about that man who told you you needed to lose 15 pounds. Now, I'm sure you, I'm going to guess and think you probably don't know where he is, what happened to him. Maybe you don't even remember his name.
Brandice Lardner: And.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And it's so convicting to me how our careless words about people's bodies can cause such impacts. And that should make us all kind of stop and think because we just, we do. We tend to judge other people's bodies. A lot of insecurity of our own, or we're just not even thinking. And you never know the impact. And I think about the scriptures from James that talk about the power of our words. And so, that's something I just feel like I have to point out because something that people don't know, and many people don't know is that eating disorders are actually the most deadly mental health disorder. And we kind of excuse it because it's culturally acceptable. Like if somebody has anxiety or depression, there's a lot of stigma with that. But eating disorder, it's like, yeah, but you look great and you're such a high achiever and it's easy to mask all of that. So those are just the thoughts that are starting to be through my head. But really the thing is, when you talked about your whole story, it wasn't about the food. You didn't talk about the food. It wasn't like, well, food became a real problem for me. So what are, what are some of the things that we tell. Tell us about that paradox of this is about food, but it's really not about food. It's really. It's got such a deep spiritual component.
Brandice Lardner: It absolutely does. And that's why this message can work for someone who's struggling with overspending or pornography or cigarettes. Like, it's about us trying to manage life on our own without the Lord, without that identity in him. And, you know, I, I just remember how food was sort of that preferred problem for me. Like, I couldn't manage all of the fears that I had. Like, nobody ever taught me how to, you know, manage my anxiety. And so food and sort of thinking about calories and what did I burn and what did I have? That was like my outlet and it was something I could control. And that is a big thing with eating disorders. Is that grasping for control and just having anything that you can feel like you're being successful with when everything else is crumbling. Right. I can at least do this. and so noticing the symptoms and really calling it for what it is and not trying to always fix that, that symptom can really help us get to the root of it. Because we would cut out, you know, first we cut out carbs, and then we find something else to eat, and all of a sudden we're left with nothing. I mean, I was to the point I was binging on, carrots. And I'm serious, like, I had just so desperate to find something to calm myself, to get through the day, to zone out, and yet had cleaned up my eating so much that that stuff, that's all I had left. Right. And that was just a sign of a hurting heart. And that's why someone can become sober and then they start eating or, you.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Know, you stop smoking and now you're transfer that addiction.
Brandice Lardner: Yes, absolutely. And, you know, it's. There's peace in knowing that there is a permanent solution and that it comes with a different tool. It's not that you're too broken to fix. It's not that you don't have hope or that there's anything wrong with you. Just been going around with a hammer knocking stuff down, when really you just need God with a gentle like, sort of chisel to get, get you back to that place where you're feeling free in Christ, where your identity isn't shaken by day to day stuff and you trust that he's taking care of you. And then the other things, they have a way of settling down, and becoming much more manageable. There's a lot of habits associated with some of our coping mechanisms and eating.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Absolutely. We're already at our first break. Can you even believe that? I know. Here we go. So much more to talk about. And when we come back, we're going to talk about some of those habits.
Sometimes we have to replace old habits with new ones
Brandis, I so appreciate you talking about the spiritual component of that. And it's not about, okay, finally getting your diet and your eating right. It's about a much more holistic perspective of healthy life. Living, being healthy, spiritually, emotionally. And sometimes we have to relearn and replace old habits with new ones. Not enough just to take that old habit away. We gotta be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And we'll talk about that with Brandice Lardner when we come back.
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Somebody Prayed by Crowder: Every night there by your bed, you fold your hands and bow your head throwing out another prayer in faith. When you're wondering if he's hearing you look at me, I'm living proof. I'm only right where I am today because somebody prayed So I hit my knees. These hands have no power but there ain't an hour he don't come through. That's why when mountains move, I say looks like somebody prayed
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is somebody prayed by Crowder. And guess what? Somebody prayed for you. Brandice and I prayed for you before the show started. We pray for you.
Brandice Lardner's new book is called fully nourished
We know there's so many people out there who are struggling with the topic we're talking about today. I'm speaking with Brandice Lardner. Her book releases today. I've got it right here in my hands. It's called fully nourished. A grace filled approach to ditch diets and find peace with food and your body. And this is something that definitely is very common to struggle with. We are surrounded by voices that are telling us what to eat, what not to eat. And it seems like the thing we're supposed to eat is not the thing we're supposed to eat today is not the thing we're supposed to eat tomorrow. We're told how to look and the trends for today will not be the trends for tomorrow who we should be by now. But we are, naming that exhaustion that so many People are carrying. Just looking at why diet culture has been so powerful and brandice. I want to wrap up what we were talking about in the first segment when we were talking about how the truth is, these diet crazes are so financially successful and yet nothing seems to stick around. And even if your body changes and it's like what you want it to be, it's like what you talked about, you transfer that coping mechanism to something else. If you've been using food as a coping mechanism, you pick up something else as a coping mechanism that may or may not be good, and we've got to replace it with good coping mechanisms.
Brandice Lardner: What.
Dr. Jessica Peck: What is this telling you about what people are really longing for? And how can we get over the guilt and shame of, like, why can't we get a hold of this by now?
: Oh, I know.
Brandice Lardner: Well, and the commercials, right, they make it look so simple. You just do A plus B and you'll get C And it's. That's marketing, right? Like, I do some marketing in my business, and I know that it's the messaging that connects with people's hurts and pains that opens their wallets, right? And so it needs to be. Things need to be marketed m. Like, ethically and, you know, with really the consumer's best interest in mind. And so if you feel like it's your fault, we just want to look at the diet success rate and let that soothe your soul a little bit. Because it's like 95% of people fail, right? And you know, in the book, I say, like, if you went to a doctor and they gave you a misdiagnosis, like, you wouldn't take it personally. You would go find a different doctor. If you went to a mechanic and, you know, your car started having more problems, you would find a different mechanic. And so for some reason, right, with that marketing messaging, we have adopted the really brunt of our lack of success with diets. When in reality, there's nothing else in your life where you would expect yourself to go from 0 to 60 overnight, eating Twinkies and Ho Hos on Sunday night and broccoli and chicken on Monday morning. Like, it's just not fair. And especially when food has been that coping mechanism. And so diets really bring us to a place of negativity, and that's the opposite of what God calls us to do.
Chapter one of your book is about gratitude. Explain to us how that works
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, that's what really intrigued me, you know, when you talked about this, starting with gratitude. Chapter one in your book is about gratitude. But I want to read just a little bit from. From Chapter three, just this short excerpt and then we'll talk about gratitude. You said, you said this. It's gonna be fun. I tried to assure myself, people just wanna see you. Nobody cares about your weight. My internal words fell on deaf ears. My self conscious self wasn't having it. There was no way I was going to that birthday party. I knew I'd, I hadn't seen in a while and well, I didn't want them to see me, not like this. And then you go on to say, and of course there would be food, lots of it. What does a girl who's gained weight eat? I wonder? If I eat the salad, everyone will probably wonder how I gained the weight. But if I have some birthday cake, they'll know how I did. Why can't I just get dressed and go? when I read this, I thought, oh my goodness, there is really, there's got to be very few women who haven't stood in front of a mirror and said that in different life transitions. Maybe it's after you had a baby, maybe it's after you went to college, maybe it's just after you went through a stressful time. Maybe it's just for no reason at all. And that is something that people relate to. But in the but where you start, chapter one is starting to respond to that with gratitude. Explain to us how that works, because that is not something I'm seeing marketed. Brandon. I'm not seeing, hey, buy this gratitude subscription. I'm seeing lots of subscription for injectables, but nothing for injectable gratitude.
Brandice Lardner: I know, and it's so hard because we have spent so many years being frustrated with ourselves, looking in the mirror and like criticizing everything. Like when we start a diet, it is because we are unhappy with where we are, right? We do not like it, we don't want any more of it and we are putting our foot down. But when God really convicted me of this because in his word he tells us to be grateful in all circumstances and to really, you know, I think of the psalmist saying, why are you cast down my soul? Hope in God. Like there are so many things to be grateful for. In fact, you'll see, you know, video clips of someone living in a hut over in a third world country and they are praising Jesus and it just, you know, it would get me in the, the heart because I could be in a nice warm house with all the food I could possibly eat, a closet full of clothes and still hate everything about it. And I'm like, that is not what God has called us to do. And so I learned that gratitude is really a weapon. It is a muscle that we want to work. And so rather than starting from a deficit on our new venture, which is really an awful way to start any new venture, we want to start from a place of gratitude. And so in the book, I encourage you to really shift your mind from all the things that you don't, like and start to find some things that you do, because when you make that transition, you will start feeling so much happier and so much lighter right out of the gate. I mean, I used to negative self talk myself right into overeating. I just needed a break from my own brain. But when I began to think about all the blessings I've been given, like, it just felt easier. And so I know it's really hard, to think about being grateful for our bodies. I mean, we grateful for our house and, you know, our loved ones and all of these things, but we want to start to really focus in on being grateful for food and our bodies. And I. People will cringe, you know, when I first mention it, because that's hard. You're like, but if I'm not mean to myself, will I. I'll never be motivated to change. But it's the opposite of that, right? When you are grateful for the eyes that you have that can, you know, see the sunset, see your grandchildren, watch, you know, a, a baby or a puppy, like all of these, like, beautiful gifts that we've been given every day, right? When you're grateful for how that intricacies of the eye work, then you start to really see your body from a different light. The, the thighs that you, you know, curse whenever you hook past the mirror. Those are the same ones that allow you to walk to a neighbor's house when they're sick and bring them a meal or bend down to, you know, help a loved one or a child play in the sand. And so rather than feeling negative, we start to work that gratitude muscle and find something to be grateful for. And that practice alone will begin to cause you to walk a little bit taller, like I said, feel a little bit lighter emotionally and mentally. And it just gives you a much better launching pad to begin to start take care of. To start to take care of yourself better.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Brandice. I had the same experience when I wrote my book. I wrote one chapter about teens who are dealing with disordered eating or eating disorders. And I talked about being grateful for your body and having exactly this exercise that you're talking about, because it is science backed and it's scripture supported. It works. But I had the exact same reaction. People cringe. They're like, write a thank you letter to my body. That sounds so hokey. That sounds so awful. But here's how it starts, the reframe. And I had to start this myself because one of the things I noticed is that, you know, I had girls, I have daughters, and they are watching exactly the messaging that I have. And I'll talk about that in just a second. But even in talking about gratitude for your body, this is how the reframe looks. So when I'm looking in the mirror and I see crow's feet and I see lines around my eyes, I can change that into gratitude by saying, thank you, God, for giving me things to laugh at. I have laugh lines because I have laughter in my life. And that sounds so silly, but honestly, it really starts to reframe your whole heart and thinking about where you've gone and what you've been able to do. And for me, as a mom, I've been able to have children. You know, there's many women who. That is the longing of their heart. And so learning to. To be grateful that I had that is so important.
You talked about that negative self talk that can hinder weight loss success
So what I want to ask you about that. That excerpt that I read is from chapter three about the image of God and what happened with my daughter Brandis. I've shared this before on the show. My daughter one day was taking a picture of me at my request, and I. And she handed it back to me and she said, oh, you won't like it. And I. It just kind of caught me off guard, and I said, what do you mean I won't like it? She goes, I know you don't like that angle. And I thought, oh, you know, exactly like where every one of my insecurities is. And you hear me criticizing myself and then you're picking up those messages. I made a vow that day that I would do everything that I could to not criticize myself, because what I saw in her eyes was my eyes. She looks exactly like me. And so when I criticize myself, she takes that as a criticism of her. but, you know, when we. You talked about that negative self talk, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, things that we say to ourselves, we would never say to other people. We would never say, oh, wow, you fat, so you look horrible. Wow, you've really gained a lot of weight. And. But you wouldn't walk up. Most people don't walk up to people in public and say that I wouldn't Say that to my daughter. And yet those were the messages that I'm projecting. Brand is, how do we take that, those thoughts captive? And how do we really fully embrace, not just in our minds, but in our hearts, our souls, that we are made in the image of God? It's hard. I'll.
Brandice Lardner: I'll be honest, it is hard because we are swimming upstream from all these cultural messages and, and it's a fight, but it's a fight worth fighting. And so for me personally, it really became a decision of logic. Like, you're the moment with your daughter. I looked at my life just as an observer and was like, how is this, this negative self talk working for me? I mean, truly, is it helping me? Is it making me happier? Is it motivating me to make better choices? Like, is it getting me toward my goal? And the answer was no, no, no. Like, it's just keeping me stuck at home. I'm, avoiding the things that would actually bring life and joy to me because of it. Like, I'm thinking about food all the time, and it's making me cranky to my loved ones. Like, oh, it just not working. And so it became a choice to no longer engage with that simply because it wasn't working. And it wasn't like I woke up one day and was like, oh, my goodness, I love how I look. It was a, I refuse to engage with this lot, these lies from the enemy anymore. And that's the thing that gets me so irritated at Satan, because I see him keeping God's people back from what the Lord has called them to because of something external. And he is just like, so successful with that. And so I didn't want to be a statistic and I wanted to set an example for other people that you have to choose to see yourself the way God says, who he says you are and how he made you. And then your perception will start to change, but there's no getting to a spot where you're so happy that all of a sudden your perception changes. You have to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And over time, with taking that step of faith, I started to see myself differently, right? And then I don't even notice the stuff anymore. Now I'm, not perfect. If during a book launch when you're kind of stressed and things are, you know, not going, like, normal, that if something's going to pop up for me, it's going to be the body image stuff, right? Somebody invites you to public speak, you're like, oh, my Goodness, right, I gotta fight the battle again. I have to choose not to engage, but really understanding there's somewhere I want to go and this is not supporting it. Help me refute, put that like refusal to engage and motivated me to find a different path. And then it becomes this victorious cycle where I feel better, I want to take better care of myself. I'm out having fun, I'm not thinking about myself so much more. And then the food and all the other things kind of start to fall in line much easier.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's one of the things I really appreciate about the journey that you're taking women on in this book. You really help them walk through swapping those cultural messages for messages that about God's identity. And instead of trying to ascribe to culture's version of the, the, the perfect image, you instead seek after the image that God made you to be, which as humans here on earth, we aren't perfect. You know, sometimes you have that day when you come home from work and the ice cream tub is going to get popped open. You know, if that's an every once in a while thing that happens. But exchanging those things for control, that need for control, to surrender to the Lord, that is really what's transformational. And that's what I see as one of the concerns I have about the success of the weight loss medications because some people have had success with those. But there's also an underlying spiritual component. You can't just change the body. It's all about body, mind and soul. They are all interconnected. And sometimes that may be a kickstart. You know, we're on a journey for you, but it can be a kickstart for you on a journey. With this guide that Brandis Larner has put together, fully nourished a grace filled approach to ditch diets and find peace with food and your body. And what you said, Brandice, about control is so true, especially in young people. We are seeing eating disorders and disordered eating skyrocket in the wake of COVID because when the world was out of control, what could they control? They control their food. But we are going to learn more about surrendering that control and talk about how we can find hope and embrace the image that God made us to be. We'll be right back with Brandice Lardner
The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations
: The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations. You can't use it to change the oil in your vehicle or get rid of carpet stains. It won't walk, the dog won't pick up the dry cleaning or take the kids to practice. But while you're doing those things, you can listen to your favorite AFR content through the app on your phone, smart device, or Roku. Just go to your app store or visit afr.net Listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app.
Whom Shall I Fear (God Of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin : You hear. Me when I call. You are my, morning song. Though darkness fills the night, you cannot hide the light. Whom shall I fear? You crush the enemy underneath my feet. You are, my sword and shield. Though troubles linger still, Whom shall I fear? I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side. The one who reigns forever, he is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies is always by my side.
Today we are talking about being fearfully and wonderfully made
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Whom Shall I Fear? God of Angel Armies by Chris Tomlin and today we are talking not about fear, but about being fearfully and wonderfully made. That concept, once you embrace that and fully understand and grasp as much as our human minds can, that that is amazing and amazing truth. That God has created us, that he has made us fearfully and wonderfully living like that. We believe that with all our hearts really can seem much harder. And I'm talking today with Brandice Lardner. Her book releases today. It's called Fully Nourished and it's a grace filled approach to ditch diets and find peace with food and your body. And I want you to hear me say that there are a lot of nutrition programs that are really helpful, that are evidence based, that are great and weight tools for weight loss. But there is a spiritual component to that because God made us body, mind and spirit and we can't separate our body from our mind and from our spirit. They all go together. We're really diving into that spiritual element today. And Brandice, I wanted to share another part from your book because you said, right here, let me see where I wanted to ask you about this. You said that only two things that you can change and there is a, Oh, here it is. I was looking for the part that I, I had bookmarked. Okay, I'm gonna read another very short excerpt from your book. You said. Sarah stood in the middle of her kitchen staring at a pile of unfamiliar ingredients and unusual spices. A new recipe book propped open on the counter next to the brand new ultra accurate digital food scale she purchased yesterday. It was the beginning of her journey toward healthier eating, was off to a rocky start. Just finding what she needed to get started had been stressful and expensive. Skimming the recipe she'd chosen. She was overwhelmed by its detailed steps and instructions. First she needed to chiffon nod. I hope I'm saying that right. The kale and rinse the quinoa. She didn't know what to do or even how to say that. I laughed when I read that Brandice because that is so true. And so often when we think, okay, we're gonna go on a healthy eating kick, we try to like, we buy the new scale, the new food. And I did this Brandis when first started learning how to eat healthy, because I didn't know. I grew up in a family that we never had any vegetables that weren't canned. Occasionally we'd have maybe a frozen vegetable. I did not know how to peel and cook a sweet potato. I did not know. And just going to the grocery store was so overwhelming. And you talk about keeping it simple. How does keeping it simple and keeping a grace filled focus, how does that help us not to be so overwhelmed by chiffonading? Did I say it that right to the kale? I don't even know.
Brandice Lardner: Okay. I think so. yeah, well, I mean, because that's that all or nothing thinking. And that's where diets really get us stuck because they have such like, grandiose plans of like, how we're going to just completely transform our lives overnight, but it's just not sustainable. And we'll be like, oh, I did low carb and it worked. Well, it didn't work if it didn't change things permanently. Right. Like, we want a lifestyle change. And so it's really, the big thing is to start small and to start with doable habits. Because a habit is something we do most of the time and it's something we can do on even a bad day. And so as you're looking at making healthy changes, it's really helpful to start with something that's just like one focus. That way you can really integrate it into your life. Kind of try it on for size. I mean, as a doctor, like someone comes to you and you don't throw like a bunch of changes and medications at them. like you give them one thing, right? Let's see how this works for you. Let's see the results, let's assess it. And then if we need to, we'll add something else. And it's kind of a similar process to that. And so, the chapter you're referring to, I say there's only two things you can change to in your eating. And you're like, what? But it's really true. You can, you can go through all the scenarios and it'll, it'll work. It's changing your food quality. So this is like the type of food you eat, going from, you know, fried chicken to, like, you know, homemade fried chicken to grilled chicken.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm so glad you said homemade fried chicken. Sorry. The Southern girl in me was like, don't take the fried chicken. There's steps, right?
Brandice Lardner: And there's like, you could go organic, like free range fried chicken at home. Like, there's so many options, right? You can, there's so many ways to make it fit into your life, which is so important. And so that's like the quality side, and I think we're all pretty familiar with that. but there are steps because it's completely overwhelming to go from A to Z. Now, the other thing that you can change besides quality, and there's so many aspects to that, would be food quantity. Sometimes I'll work with ladies and they're just completely overwhelmed by all the plans and all the things they should and shouldn't eat. And the best thing for them to do is to work on neutralizing food, getting it out of the good and bad mindset that leads to overeating, and to focus on the amount of food that they eat. Not forever, but for a season, until you can find a rhythm of fueling yourself with appropriate portions. And so when you're looking at tweaking your food, you could adjust the quality. Maybe you start with breakfast because that's the easiest meal, and you just bump it up a little bit and choose slightly healthier ingredients. Or you could look at the quantity. It's hard, right? They're really similar quality or quantity. And say, you know what? I'm just going to serve myself a couple of bites less and I'm going to see how that tracks with me. And maybe I can begin to reduce my portions a little bit. Or for some people, it may be adding a little bit of food to a meal so that they're not grazing all day. And we kind of walk through those steps in the book. But yeah, keeping it simple keeps it from being overwhelming.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Brandice, I think that whenever somebody decides, okay, all right, I'm going to change my eating habits, which a lot of people do for a NewSong Year's resolution, and promptly fall off of that. Nobody sticks with it. But, the people in your family know about it, and m. You're. They're going to know what you're eating. You're trying to make healthier Dinners, you maybe restock the pantry differently. And it can cause this ripple in your family dynamics. And especially for women whose husbands are watching this, they're thinking, okay, what do I say? What do I not say? And it can be hard to walk that line between, you want to encourage people and, like, say, yeah, you want to do that? I want to encourage you. But then sometimes when you know they're not doing something they said they were going to do, you ask about it. It feels like you're judged. And then the shame spiral starts. What is a good for families to encourage each other? If one person says, you know, I, really want to take some steps forward here.
Brandice Lardner: Yeah. Well, I think, you know, helping create a supportive environment, whatever that looks like for the individual, is probably the biggest, like, practical thing we can do. When, I got married, my husband was like a candy guy. Thank goodness he's grown out of that. But, I'm more of a chocolate girl. But even, like, I didn't want to look at candy every time I opened the drawer. So he helped me by just moving his stash of stuff into like a sideboard in the dining room table. So, you know your spouse. Yeah, it's real. And your spouse may be like, there's a particular kind of ice cream that's really hard for me to moderate. Can we just keep that out of the house for the season? So that open line of communication can be really helpful. But I think the biggest thing is really becoming someone who reflects God's unconditional love and grace. Grace. And this means when they come to you and they've had a hard day, hey, how can I help you do better? Let's leave it behind.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Right?
Brandice Lardner: Don't let mistakes keep you stuck. Because we're human. We're all going to make mistakes. What's next? And how can I support you? Because that was. My husband was really the one who taught me about God's unconditional love and grace. And it was through my food struggles because I was binge eating men. And I would feel so broken and so frustrated, and I would come and confess to him and he wouldn't even, even bat an eye. Right? You think it'd be like, oh, I'm so disappointed in you. I can't believe you did that again. Nope, didn't even bat an eye. Give me a hug. He'd say, give me a hug. And I give me a. Give him a me a hug. And he would just be that love. That Jesus, I think, is where he says, hey, kiddo, you know What? I never expect you to be perfect. Like, when I died for you, I knew you'd struggle today. But guess what? We can do better. And then we focus and we let that grace of God lead to repentance, right? Which is a transformation versus condemnation that's going to keep us stuck. And so just keep cheering them on, point out their wins, celebrate with them, because they're going to have a hard time celebrating themselves. And that will be the thing that keeps moving them forward. But we definitely don't need another Holy Spirit, so don't try to do that.
Everything you are talking about has a spiritual foundation
Dr. Jessica Peck: But you know what's fascinating to me, Brand, is all throughout this conversation, every question that I have asked you, even the questions that are not inherently spiritual in nature, like, how can family help? You know what. What, habits do you have? Everything you are looping back and pulling it back to a spiritual foundation. And that is one of the things that I love about this so much, because everything. And you think that's what people mostly are not doing when they're going on a nutrition journey. That is not usually the priority investment. Like, what's the spiritual element of the this? But really, when it comes down to it, it's all those things about grace, about just exactly the grace of God that you're talking about that was given to us through Jesus Christ, his son.
You talked about shame, this cycle of guilt and shame
And I think there's a lot of people, you talked about shame, this cycle of guilt and shame and feeling like coming out of it. What is the. What is this? The step towards freedom? Because I know there's a lot of people listening who think, yep, I'm stuck in that. maybe some cycles are longer than other, but. But I, always go back to it.
Brandice Lardner: Yeah. Oh, boy. So the fastest way to get out of the cycle, right? Because it's a cycle. It's a, like, eat shame. Like, promise to start tomorrow. You know, eat all the things before tomorrow starts. It's like the cycle. Maybe you map out your own cycle, right? And you got to start it somewhere. But the perfect eating is what we've been. How we've been trying to stop it. Like, if I eat perfect tomorrow, then this cycle will stop, but we're never going to get there. And that is really where the grace and the fresh start comes down. Like, every day is a fresh start, but it doesn't just stop there. It's every hour, every minute, every second, every bite. You could literally be stuffed to the gills and have one bite of food left and you'd be like, okay, Lord, I know it's not much. But I'm going to give this to you right Like Lord, take this little seed of self control and help me walk in greater self control. And so it's really doing even the tiniest thing that you can through his strength and for his glory. And that little, oh, that little sacrifice that you make, that little shift that you make will begin to energize you and excite you because obedience tastes so, so good.
Brandice, tell us about your ministry. Tell us about how you help women
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you've talked a little bit about this community, Brandice. I know there's women listening out there who are thinking, I need you in my life. I need your V voice, I need your wisdom. I need to learn all your tricks. Tell them to me now. Encourage me and, and the knowledge and admonition right of the Lord. That's what they're thinking. Tell us about how you help women. Tell us about your ministry.
Brandice Lardner: Yeah. So my website is gracefilledplate and so we're going to do a pop up Facebook group to go through the book. So if you go to gracefulplate.com forward slash book, there's some information there. I've got a bunch of like launch week bonuses because you know how important the sales are and then that first week and then part of that is going to be a pop up Facebook group where we'll have some, even some zoom calls, just so that ladies can get plugged in and process. And there's just something really powerful about being surrounded with other women who've decided that seeking the Lord is more important than seeking, you know, these external pieces. It doesn't mean we can't have goals. Goals are okay. Like I'm not going to villainize weight law schools, but we've got to keep first things first and this community really does that. But all that information will be on my website.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Give it to us one more time, Brandice
Brandice Lardner: Yep. gracefilledplate.com and then the forward slash book will take you to all the resources for the book.
Brandice writes a book about how to ditch diets and find peace with food
Dr. Jessica Peck: Brandis, I'm so grateful for the vulnerability that you've had. It's really hard to write a book and to share your story, to share your own struggles, to be transparent, to be vulnerable and authentic. But that is such an encouragement, I know, to so many people who are listening. And this is a topic that is not going away and in fact I see it increasing. One of the trends that I'm following, I've been talking about here is even that extending to boys where we used to have this conversation primarily about girls. Not that boys were never affected, but boys are even increasingly affected. There's a trend called looks maxing where boys are trying to make their jaw more chiseled so they might do exercises called mewing. I've learned all about this and in extreme forms, they're even talking surgery. And we see this as a pro, as, as a spiritual problem. But I'm grateful for the community that you are providing, for women. Just something that is biblically habit building, that's rooted in grace and biblical grace and not perfection. And I'm so grateful for all that you are doing because you've just encouraged us today that freedom doesn't come from mastering food. It comes from being nourished by God, body, mind and spirit, accepting as, ourselves as made in the image of God. And we are giving you that invitation to rest, to trust and to be fully nourished. That's the name of the book, A Grace filled Approach to ditch diets and find peace with food and your body. And wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whatever you may or may not be eating, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and, and make his face to shine upon you. And I will see you right back here tomorrow.
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