Transcript

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection and the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: M. Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day. On my favorite day of the week with some of my favorite people just getting to spend time with you. Prescribing Hope for Healthy Families.

Every Friday, we talk about a healthy habit for healthy families

Today is Fri. Yay. It is Friday. We have made it through another week and we. Wow. We are just going through this year. I feel like this year is just absolutely flying by. And on Fridays, every Friday, we talk about a healthy habit for healthy families. By the time we get to the end of the year, you'll have 52 new habits that can really make a difference in your family. And starting in January, listen, it's not too late to jump in. We're just at the very end of February here. We started with basic spiritual disciplines, prayer, memorizing scripture, going to church, listening to Christianity, Christian music. And then we have talked about some rhythms that your family needs to have. We've talked about having a daily devotional, having a morning routine, an evening routine. And we are now at week 8 of 2026. Can you believe it? And today we're going to talk about sleep hygiene. Now, before the end of the program, I will answer some of your questions and talk about some Homefront headlines, some stories that I've been following and implications for your families questions that I've been hearing about them. And we'll talk all about that.

Today we're going to talk about sleep hygiene and intentional habits

But first, let's dive into this week's habit. We talked about an evening routine last week. Today we're going to talk about sleep hygiene. And you may have even never heard that phrase. You may have not thought about that, but have you thought about how your sleep environment affects your ability to rest? Is your bedroom a place of peace or is it just cluttered with distractions, with bright screens, with unfinished tasks, with piles of clothes, with just the noise of the day still lingering? Can you see your nightstand or is it just stacked with stuff? What if Your space invited true rest, both physically and spiritually. And one of my favorite scriptures that I love to speak over my family is Psalm 48, in peace I will lie down and sleep for you alone. Lord, make me dwell in safety. And in this world that feels so inherently unsafe, there is something really sweet to lie down and remind myself that it is the Lord who helps me to lie down in safety. Because God designed rest as a blessing. But many of us struggle to embrace it. In this whole, in this hustle culture, good sleep isn't just about getting enough hours. It's not even just about that evening routine that we talked about last week. Today we're going to talk about creating an atmosphere from sun up to sundown and all the way through that welcomes deep restorative self sleep. And healthy sleep hygiene starts with intentional habits. And we're going to talk about these because we need to. We live in a very tired culture. You know, it used to be when you would ask somebody, hey, how are you doing? We would say, fine. That was kind of the, the cultural instructions that we got right. Like you say, I'm fine. How are you? I'm fine. It feels like every person I talk to and you say, how are you doing? I'm tired. I'm tired. Especially kids. I finally, I tell kids, you are allowed to use word you want, but not the word tired. Please do not tell me that you're tired. Tell me you're frustrated, tell me you're bored. Tell me that you're worn out. Tell me anything except that you're tired. Because we normalize this. And we brag about running on empty. We brag about scrolling until our eyes are burning, answering emails late in the night, and then wondering, why is our patient so thin? Why is our anxiety so high? Well, we're exhausted. And that magnifies the worst of our emotions. And many of us, honestly, if we're really gut level honest, we don't even know how to rest anymore. Or if you do rest, you feel guilty about it. You think, I didn't do anything today. Oh, I, I was such a bum. I just laid around. But sleep disruption isn't just a kid problem. It's an adult problem. It's a teen problem. It's a grandparent problem. And kids can struggle and fight falling asleep. Teens are wired at midnight and then exhausted in the morning. They don't want to get up. Parents lie awake in bed worrying at night. And grandparents wake sometimes too early and then they can't fall back asleep. And we have let Tiredness become a household norm.

Psalm 127 warns against anxious striving, that effort driven by fear and not faith 

So let me read to you from Psalm 127, verse 2. This is a tough one, so put on your tough suit. Here we go. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil. For he gives to his beloved sleep. And I have been thinking about this phrase, eating the bread of anxious toil. And I thought, wow, if that does not describe our life today, I don't know what does. We eat the bread of anxious toil. Now, when I was starting to read and learn more about this Psalm, Psalm 127 is a song of ascent, which is a collection of psalms that were sung by families as they traveled together to Jerusalem to worship. So this wasn't a private devotional poem. This was a family song that the family would singing together. And it was shaping how the households understood work and parenting and provision and trusting God and we. This psalm is traditionally attributed to Solomon, a man known for wisdom. But it was meant to be sung by tired people who were on the way to worship and to reset. And when we talk about in vain, you rise early and stay up late. That psalm is not condemning hard work because there are a lot of scriptures that affirm working hard. Scripture consistently affirms diligence and responsibility. What it warns against is anxious striving, that effort, that work that is driven by fear and not faith, and doesn't go anywhere except spin its wheels. So when we rise up early and stay up late, it just describes a life of relentless pressure. In vain means empty, futile, exhausting, no lasting fruit. And it is fueled by the belief that everything depends on me. And if I don't do this, if I drop this plate, if I drop this ball, if I don't do it, then fill in the blank, catastrophe will ensue. But the problem isn't the effort that we're putting forth, it's the anxiety that is encapsulating that effort. And when we look at the psalm, in the ancient world especially, sleep was risky. You were particularly vulnerable. You maybe could have guard your home. We didn't have ring doorbell cameras and things like that. To sleep well was an act of trust. And this verse declares that sleep itself is a sign of God's care for us, not a reward for productivity, not something that we should shun from our lives. God provides while we rest. Sleep is evidence of we are trusting in our relationship with God. It's something that God gives. It's not something that we have to earn. It is not wasted time Grace received. And Psalm 127 actually goes on to talk about children as a heritage from the Lord. And it's interesting because we have this direct link between rest and trust and parenting. And when families are living in constant exhaustion, we lose our patience. Children absorb our stress and our homes feel anxious instead of safe. But when we are rested, we're better at ah, emotional regulation. We're soften more soft in our relationships. And our faith feels like it is a lifeline, not it not driven by fear. And that is important. Children learn to trust in God by watching how we rest. And so when we have culture praising hustle over functioning self reliance. Sleep is for babies, which whoever said that by the way, obviously never had one because babies generally don't sleep very well. Psalm 127 is giving us a countercultural truth. God does not need our exhaustion to accomplish his purposes. Choosing sleep is not lazy. This is good theology that is lived out.

Sleep is not a luxury, it is a gift that God gives us

So when you go to bed at night, we can pray. Just a simple prayer. God, I trust you to be God while I sleep. It is not weakness, it is worship. Sleep is not a luxury, it is a gift that God gives us. And when we neglect it, we pay the price and our families pay the price. So if everyone in your house is feeling irritable and distracted or maybe emotionally fragile, the issue might not be discipline or motivation or the organization system you're trying to implement. It might just be be everybody is sleep deprived. And we talked last week about the nighttime routine, how important that is because we have the competition of phones and TVs. They're not entertaining us, they're telling our brains it's still daytime, stay awake, it's still daytime. That blue light spectrum, as I talked about before, it suppresses melatonin. That's the hormone that signals to our body. It's safe to power down now. And we don't have that. It's not just the light, it is the content. Because conversations or programming is emotional, it is adrenaline inducing. It. AUTO PLAYS so we just say one more, one more, one more. We get news alerts, we see social media. All of these things keep our brain alert, reactive and most importantly, emotionally engaged. That is not what sleep requires. So it's not a lack of discipline, it's biology that's working against you. Your brain can't fall asleep if you are feeling constantly feeding it cues that it needs to stay awake. Because we were not designed to live in a world without natural stopping points. But modern culture has a world that's on 24, 7. And we are giving our brain the message, the day is not over. The day is not over. But guess what? The day is never over. And so we're never having time to sleep. Now, again, as I talked about before, the, the, answer that culture has given us is marketable products. Okay, well, don't do those things that are going to help you sleep better. Just buy a sleep fix. And that can be through so many different things. Through supplements, through apps, through sleep trackers, through sound machines, through smart mattresses that have more computer ability than what, you know, what major computers have. I mean, it's amazing when you see what some of these smart mattresses do with motion sensor lighting that comes on when your feet hit the floor. I mean, some of these things are helpful, but many unintentionally create this performance anxiety around sleep because everybody's gone to sleep and thought, okay, I can't go to sleep. I have five hours. Okay, I have four hours and 35 minutes. Okay, I have four hours AND 27 minutes. And you just think we're worried about our sleep. And sleep just doesn't respond well to pressure. The harder that we try to force it, the more elusive it seems to became come. So we don't, we're not going to achieve good sleep. We're just going to allow it. Another thing to think about is that chronic stress keeps our cortisol levels elevated. That cortisol is the hormone that prepares us to respond to danger, and then that's good. It's useful in emergencies, but it is so destructive when it is constantly activated. Because when our cortisol is high, our bodies stay tense, our minds stay alert, and sleep feels very shallow. And nighttime often is the first quiet moment of the day. And then all of a sudden your brain says, oh, okay, great. Now would be a, a great time to show you the highlights of your life that make you worried. Let me just start to filter through and scroll through your mind. All of those things that you refuse to process during the day. Well, guess what? Now we're going to go ahead and go through those. And if your mind is racing at night, it's often because that is the first time that it's had quiet and space to actually speak to your soul. So let me just give you, some takeaways from sleep science because this is really fascinating, a fascinating area of research that's emerging. Because sleep isn't passive. It is actually one of the most active things that your body does. It is an active repair process. That's what happens when you're sleeping. So when you sleep, the brain is clearing metabolic waste from your body. It's almost like a nightly rinse cycle. Anything bad that happened, all right, we're going to get a good sleep cycle in and we're going to process that through. It's where your memories are sorted and stored. It's where your emotional experiences are processed. You know, this happens through your dreams and even muscles and tissues and immune cells repair. So sleep isn't just downtime. That is actually a very active time where your body is performing essential maintenance just as God designed it to do. So when you are sleep deprived, you are going to have less emotional control. I remember this as a new mother. Every emotion just seemed so magnified and we have stronger emotional react. A minor irritation becomes a major blow up. A little bit of sadness becomes a major sadness. We are just quicker to be angry, to be tearful, to be anxious. And even small problems feel really overwhelming. It weakens our immune response. People get sick more often. They recover more slowly. And for focus and learning, kids and teens are going to struggle with attention. They're not going to do as well in school. Adults are going to have brain fog and poor decision making. Any sleep deprived parent of a newborn, God bless you all, that is what happens. but it even affects our appetite and metabolism because when you're sleep deprived it increases your hunger hormones. It's trying to find a way to compensate for that lack of energy so you have more cravings, you want sugar, you want carbs and the body even is going to store those differently when you're tired because it's, it feels that lack and it says oh we better store up. So when we come back we're going to have a reframe. I'm going to give you some simple tips how even first thing when you wake up in the morning, something that you can do to help you sleep better at night. It's the way that God made the world.

If sleep is tough for you right now, it is not a personal failure

It's the way that God made your body. And I'm going to tell you what it is when we come back. And so just know that if sleep is tough for you right now, it is not a personal failure. It's your nervous system just asking for a reset. I'll tell you how to do that when we come back on the other side of this break and I'll answer some questions about online gambling. Yep, that's what's coming up. See you in a minute. Friends.

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One Thing Remains by Passion & Kristian Stanfill: your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me. Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me. Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me. Your love. and on and on and on and on it goes. Yes it overwhelms and satisfies my soul and I'll never ever have to be afraid cause this one thing remains your love never fails, it never gives up. It never runs out on me. Your love never fails it never gives up. It never runs out on me. Your love never fails It never gives up.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is one thing remains by passion and Kristian Stanfill and I wish I could let it go on because in death and life I'm confident that nothing that you're covered by the power of God's great love. And I know that somebody out there needs to hear that message and need to hear needs to hear that song because that is the one thing that remains is the love of God.

Today's healthy habit is talking about sleep hygiene

And we are talking today about how God has expressed his love for us by giving us the good gift of sleep. I know that's not something you usually hear. We think of sleep as a reward or something. Sleep is something to be avoided or to be minimized or something that's just downtime or wasted time. But today's healthy habit is talking about sleep hygiene, creating conditions that are going to help you sleep. The Best. And what if you shifted your mindset from thinking about sleep as a way to recover from the day like I have this day sleep is going to help me recover. What if you shifted your mindset and then saw sleep not as a way to recover from today today, but to prepare for tomorrow? That's what sleep is helping you do. And we've got to. It's not about a perfect bedtime routine, although some little tips that I talked about last week will, will help. It's just creating conditions that allow your body, once you go to sleep, to stay asleep, to go back to sleep when you're woken up, and to feel safe enough that you rest deeply. And that sleep quality at night is shaped by everything that we do during the day. So let's talk about little kids because children often they fall asleep really easily, right? They can fall asleep anywhere, everywhere. One of the things I love about social media, seeing kids fall asleep in the craziest places just right in the middle of playing. It's so adorable. But many kids wake up in the night, they have nightmares. They have, they wake up too early in the morning and it usually is reflecting immaturity of their nervous system, not disobedience. And so for little kids, some sleep hygiene things that can help is darkness. And a lot of kids, kids don't like to sleep in the dark. But if you start them from an early age sleeping in the dark, it really does help because even a small night light can reduce melatonin. So using the dimmest, warmest light possible, if you need a light, but just trying to gradually dim those lights so that, that you're sleeping in darkness, having quiet and consistency because white noise can help. But white noise can help block household sounds that trigger partial waking. So just having, having it quiet, even if it's just that quiet hum of white noise, that's okay. Have cool rooms, sleep better and if they wake up, then keep your responses calm m and brief. Don't turn on the lights and try not to talk too much. But here's the things that can help your kids sleep better at night that I could talk for a whole week honestly about kids sleeping issues because they really do impact families. But here's, here's three things that I want you to think about for kids that will help them sleep better at night, things that you can think about during the day. First of all, playing outside is really important. It helps regulate their circadian rhythm. So try to have time outside where you're playing outside at least once a day. And the second Thing is balanced meals. Having, breakfast, lunch and dinner. That helps them from waking up in the night, being hungry, or having their blood sugar crash all of a sudden. So avoid. And the third thing is avoid heavy sugar close to bedtime, because if they have something really sugary, then their blood sugar can drop and then that makes them wake up. So they're not waking up at night because they're difficult. Their brains are still learning how to rest. Now teens often this, they have difficulty falling asleep. They really do have a shift in their circadian rhythm. They're wired to stay up later and sleep later, which is really hard because that's not how most schools or jobs are structured. And that can be really hard. Best things to do for teenagers. Again, dark bedrooms, keeping the phone out of reach, keeping the phone out of the bedroom, and trying as much as possible to have a consistent sleep window. That would really, really help. But did you know that morning sunlight actually one of the strongest regulators of teen sleep. So when they get up, you know, you see on tv, people, the moms going in and, and ripping open the blinds, opening the curtains, actually, I'm all for that. I think that's great. They need sunlight exposure. It really helps regulate their circadian rhythm. Teens need regular physical activity. So many teens are just sitting all day. They're sitting, learning. They're sitting on their phones, they're sitting gaming, they're sitting, engaged in electronics. They need to get up and move because happens is when they go to sleep at night, their bodies are not tired, but their minds are. And then it creates this dysregulation where they're, they feel tired but they can't go to sleep. And that's hard. Other thing for teens. Third thing for teens is caffeine, because sometimes kids are just drinking way too much caffeine during the day and drinking caffeine, especially at nighttime. No. Energy drinks are recommended for kids by all pediatric experts. I know that that's a reality that a lot of kids drink caffe, but that can be really impacting their sleep. And so just remembering the teen sleep struggles are neurological or helpful. Now let's talk about adults. Adults often fall asleep, okay. But maybe wake up in the night. Maybe your mind is racing. Maybe you just are, are having impacts from stress hormones. So things that you can do are exercise, eating well, and light exposure in the morning. Honestly, doing those things is really, really helpful. And you don't want to think about that for sleep. But sleep actually starts with when you first wake up in the Morning. So if you can have some sunlight exposure, have some physical activity, eat nutritiously throughout the day, those things are really going to help you set up for success and sleep. So here, let me give you, let me recap those in a checklist for you and ways that you can, what you can do today to help you sleep well tonight. So first thing, get natural sunlight within 30 to 60 minutes the first hour of waking up. Whether that's stepping outside, opening the blind, sitting near a window. Morning light is telling your brain the day is starting now. And that is already going to start to set up melatonin release for later at night. When you wake up in the morning, eat a protein rich breakfast. Protein is going to stabilize blood sugar. It's going to support your daytime energy so that cortisol doesn't spike at night and then move your body in the morning. Whether that's walking, stretching, light, exercise, when you move in the morning, that says, okay, it's time to wake up and it's going to help you to sleep better. The midday at lunchtime, go outside, get 10 to 20 minutes of outdoor lights. it's so helpful that daytime light helps to strengthen your circadian rhythm and limit caffeine after the early afternoon. And then in the afternoon and early evening, get some physical activity, but not right before bed. Go for a walk after dinner, eat dinner earlier if you can, and try to avoid a long or late nap. and that is so hard. I love naps. But sleep needs you to be tired and calm. And then we talked about that evening routine that is helpful to do. So. The big picture is just incorporating sunlight, movement, good nutrition during the day and being consistent about that evening routine. That's really helpful. Having a dark, clean place to sleep. This is especially true for toddlers and teens. If you're trying to go into a bed that has not been made all day, maybe the sheets haven't been washed in weeks and they've got chip crumbs in and you've got dirty clothes piled high and dirty dishes. That is just not a restful place to sleep. And so maybe if you're having sleep as an issue in your house, one of the things that you can do is really take a good look at the environment and say, what can we do to make this bedroom a more restful environment? Because sleep hygiene is about aligning your sleep environment and your daily rhythm with how God designed our bodies to rest. It is not about perfection. It's really about a, gift that we're stewarding. And when we protect our sleep, we're protecting our patients and our mental health and our relationships and our ability to love others well. And going to bed is an act of trust, really. One, it is one of the most powerful things that you can do to reset hearts and minds and emotions in your home.

There is a growing concern about the rapid expansion of legalized gambling in the US

And that is really important to do because one of the things that keeps us awake at night is the doom scroll. And seeing all of the headlines that are coming our way. And I've been paying attention to these headlines, I call them home front headlines because there are things that really matter. And I told you that I was going to talk about the coming gambling tsunami. As I see it, I really see this coming as a wave, especially in young people. And we see that, ah, you can look all on the news. There is a growing concern about the rapid expansion of legalized gambling in the US and especially online sports betting, which is now legal in many states. One of the things I'm following is that this is becoming a, a very rapidly growing trend for teenagers, especially teen boys. And the current estimates, the best that we can see is that about one third of boys aged 11 to 17, one in three have engaged in sports gambling in the past year. And starting gambling at a younger age, that is, that that can be a significant predictor of trouble ahead. And the concern isn't just financial loss, but it is, it is a, method of coping. If it's used as a method of coping, it can be really problematic. And online gambling has really exploded over the past decade. And as parents, we know to talk to our kids about social media, we're talking about those things. We're doing our best to be aware of those things that are happening. But I don't see a lot of parents asking their boys, especially about online gambling. So I would encourage you, if you have teen boys at home, if you have teen grandkids, kids, be curious and ask them about this because it is definitely happening. I'd be very surprised if there are any boys out there who haven't at least heard about it because we've got Internet access, we've got smartphones, and now these apps that make bedding really, really easy. Just the click of a thumb and sometimes the thumb can move faster than the prefrontal cortex in your brain. And this isn't like traditional gambling where you would have to go to Vegas, go to a physical place somewhere. Platforms are operating 24 7. They don't require you to travel anywhere. You can just pick it up from your pocket. And they also don't require Physical cash. Now there is something to be said about the act of putting physical cash down and seeing how much money that is. But when you're just seeing numbers on a screen, it can almost feel like play money. And so we have increased access and temptation because you can bet from a device in your pocket. Those barriers that were once there for safety are gone. And. And it is estimated that global gambling revenues are predicted to reach $700 billion a year by 2028. And again that's because it is mobile driven. It's in your pocket. And they are. These industries are really doing everything that they can to appeal to younger demographics to get them early so they know that they will stay. It's not just about state lotteries. This is sports betting, casino games, loot boxes that are in video games. Have you heard of that? Or esp and it blurs the line between entertainment and risk taking behaviors. So again as I said, youth engagement is growing. We see that about one in three 11 to 17 year olds said that they have participated in some way. And 31% view loot boxes as gambling in games and, and the rest don't. So this is something that's happening just incorporating gambling into a gaming platform that's even more upping the game on Gamification and engagement starts with something that's really harmless like in gray in game microtransactions. That's what's happening. Or just sports prediction games, just betting, penny betting, just a little bit of money. It just kind of normalizes that wagering behavior at a critical stage of brain development for teens. And we see exposure really increasing for teens. Nearly half of teens report seeing gambling ads on social medias or ad apps. We see celebrity endorsements normalizing this influencer content. It just increases the desire and curiosity to try it. And some reports suggest that about a third of older teens feel like they want to try it after they see an advertising for it, that it's very effective. And it, this advertising is Margaret micro targeting sports and athletes like these quick wins where teens are already spending a lot of time. And so it's just this constant encouragement and normalization. We know that teens are much more likely to develop a gambling disorder than adults are again because of the way that their brain is vulnerable and the way that their brain is processing reward and risk. And we see another study that I was looking at, saw that online gamblers are much more likely to develop gambling problems than those who gamble only in traditional settings. And we see that online gamblers are 10 times more likely to exceed low risk gambling limits and 45 times more likely to report problem problem gambling criteria, meaning that they have a problem with it compared with with players who only play something like the lottery. And nearly one in four young adults who gambled online reported high levels of gambling related harms. This is financial, emotional and relationship issues. So this is impacting families because we're talking about financial strain. Money that's meant for essentials can be diverted to bets. Kids who feel like they need money to cover something that they did, they may take that money in a dishonest way. We're talking about emotional distress with shame and secret secrecy and anxiety that often accompany problem gambling and relationship tension because it can cause arguments and it can cause stress. And this is really important. It's not just a tiny niche. This is not just something that's happening a little bit. It this is a growing digital ecosystem that is intersecting with you youth culture, with sports fandom, with gaming, with advertising, with social media. It is this perfect storm of E sources that are coming together to give kids easy access, aggressive marketing and develop brains. It is a problem. When we come back, I'll tell you what you should should watch for and what to do. How to start the conversation in your house about this. And we'll find hope together for these Homefront headlines, what matters to families and how you can respond to it. We'll be right back on this Friday after the break.

 : The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations. You can't use it to change the oil in your vehicle or get rid of carpet stains. It won't walk the dog, won't pick up the dry cleaning or take the kids to practice. But while you're doing those things, you can listen to your favorite AFR content through the app on your phone, smart device or Roku. Just go to your app store or visit afr.net listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app.

Thank You Lord by Chris Tomlin & Friends: Thank you Lord for the small things like me and her on the porch swing the summer nights and fireflies and the sound of my old six string Blessings on blessings on blessings on blessings if I still got breath in these lungs then that's all I need to get down on my knees and be thankful for all that he's done for my mama, for my friends for your love that never ends for the songs that make us dance on this old dirt floor for my babies, for my girl for the way they change my world Waking up today yeah I just got to say thank you Lord, I just want to say thank you, Lord.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is thank you, Lord, by Chris Tomlin and friends. And I am thankful for you. I am so thankful for you.

Talk to your children and teens about online gambling

Listening in on a Friday, it tells me that you want to know what's going on in the world and how you can be a positive influence and really encourage the faith of those people around you. One of the ways you can do that is by adopting and following along with our Healthy Habits journey. Every Friday, we talk about a healthy habit. This week we've talked about sleep. And I'm, answering questions about some Homefront headlines that we are following. Those things that keep us awake at night. Night. And one of those things, as I was talking about before the break, is online gambling. I really want to encourage you to talk especially to the teens in your life about this because it is something that is very pervasive, that is very available, and it doesn't usually announce itself as a problem. It's not usually like, okay, the first time that you use an online gambling platform that it's a problem, it kind of shows up very quietly. And it's digital, it's fast, it's private. And a lot of times what I see is families don't see it until real harm has already started. And so early conversations, simple boundaries, are really more effective than a crisis intervention later. That's what I want to set you up for, is that early conversation and simple boundaries and some of the things that you should look for in children and teens who may be engaging in online gambling, again, without even having the language for it. Even the word gambling is really not used very much in marketing. It's, there's much trendier words, and so kids can think, well, that's not gambling. It's like, for example, loot boxes. I talked about loot boxes before. Let me go back to that and give you a little explanation. If it's something that you're not familiar with, this is a. This is a virtual, something that you could purchase in a video game. There's a randomized selection of digital items, so it's almost like a treasure box, but it has things that are in it that aren't physically real but can be useful in a game. I know some of you are still saying, okay, say it again slower. Because if you're not in that gaming world, it can be really difficult to understand. But you're talking about things like character skins. I know I've already lost some of you again. Right. But weapons, gear, it's just, It's a treasure box of things that you can use in a game. And sometimes these are purchased with real money, sometimes these are purchased with money that you own in the currency of the game, like gameplay. And they have been a little bit controversial because the way that they're acquired resembles gambling. You don't know what you're getting beforehand. So it's kind of a bet, like is it going to be good or is it not going to be good? So again, terms like loot boxes, you don't think, no, that's not gambling. But when we look at it, it's just things are being so redefined so quickly it can be hard to keep up. Things to watch for are obsession with sports odds. If you have a little kid who imagine looking at the paper looking for sports OD or betting language or wins, or they're playing games with loot boxes or paid upgrades that, you know, just really feel exciting that they're talking about if they have a, ah, very strong emotional reaction to losing a game or those in game purchases, if they're hiding their screen, they're deleting their history, they're using private browsers. And then some of the social and emotional cues are just being irritable, anxious or secretive. And, and sometimes that risk starts as behaviors. It doesn't start in the casinos, it's going to start in some of these behaviors. And so when adults, some of the ways that it's normalized is betting just for fun, but it just becomes more frequent and more frequent and more frequent and you start reframing the wins and losses like okay, well I, I, you know, won this much money, but I lost this much money. It's okay that I lost this much because I had won that much. I'm breaking even. And you just have that chasing losses. You start to say, I'll win it back, I'll win it back back. Borrowing money, skipping bills, hiding expenses or sleep disruption because you're watching to see if you won, if you lost or won money. And for adults, often it's used as a stress relief or escape, but it very quickly just slides into lying about where your time is spent, where your money is spent, that financial stream. And it can feel really overwhelming and it's rarely a about greed, it's more about coping. Gambling just sets itself up to be a really quick and easy coping method that feels good in the moment but can be destructive later on.

There are some practical prevention strategies you can have especially for kids

So how do we start this conversation without shame, without lecturing, without going and saying, I heard this show on the radio Today about gambling. You're not doing online gambling, are you? Because it's so destructive and it's so dangerous. And we start with the lecturing and the fear mongering and teens automatically tune out and they think, think you don't understand what it's like. You don't know what you're talking about. We really need to approach with curiosity. Just say, hey, I heard this radio program today talking about gambling and teens. Do you see sports betting as a thing? Like are your friends doing that? What does that look like to you? Teach me about that. Kids love to teach you about that. You can say, hey, a lot of games and apps I see make spending money feel exciting. Like do you see any connection between online gaming and, and gambling? They're probably going to say no because that's the whole point is let's not let them see the connection so that we can get them over a little easier here. And just asking them questions like what, what would you do if. If, what do you, what would you do if somebody asked you to download an app like this? Is this something that you would engage in? Is this something that you would see? Your tone matters more than your content. How you're asking the question matters more than what question you're asking. Curiosity keeps that do a lecture is going to shut it really tight. And so just start with some curiosity. Just say, you know, what would you do? What do you see? How do you see this happening, playing out in your world? And there are some practical prevention strategies you can have especially for kids. Number one, I would say reduce their access to online gaming platforms or online betting platforms, online gambling platforms. Just making sure that you use some sort of software where you can see if they're trying to download something, something, maybe they just think it's a game. They don't realize. Like if you go to them and say, oh my gosh, you're gambling. They're like, no, I'm just playing a game. But just give yourself a break for that conversation where you have to approve those app purchases, disable the in app purchases wherever you can. Don't let them just spend money. Use those parental controls. That can be really helpful. And prevention is going to work best when temptation is, is harder, not willpower is stronger. So we've got to make sure we're setting our kids up for success, not expecting them just to rely on willpower, but to remove that temptation. Another thing that you can do is talk about math. Because gambling companies profit when, because players lose. They wouldn't be doing this if most people didn't lose consistently because that's how they make money and the odds are designed so the house always wins and those early wins are often intentional hooks to get you to come back. Oh, that was easy. And I made a lot of money and it really didn't seem that dangerous. So really talk about the money. Talk about how gambling isn't good luck or bad luck. It is a business model. That's absolutely what it is. So talking about it from a business model perspective would help and normalize acting. Asking for help. So there are some resources, you can access those even through pediatric primary care. There is a national council on problem gambling that has a 24,7 helpline. There are some resources available and so that, that may be, you may be at a point where you need some of those resources. But the important thing is if your kids are really engaged in online gaming, that's crossing the line into gambling. You have to replace it, not just remove it because that whatever they're doing online is filling a need. Whether that's a need for excitement, a need for escape, a need for control, a need for connection, you've got to replace it with something else. Whether that's physical activity or a competitive game that's not for money or a social connection that they're missing or stress management skill that they're missing that is really helpful. But things that really should say that this is concerning, this is risen to the threshold that we need some outside help or if you're experiencing financial losses, if you are consistently, if you're losing money, if you are feeling emotional, just stress or feeling secrecy about it, you feel like you're out of control. If it's impacting school or work or relationships. Early intervention, especially for kids is going to dramatically improve outcomes. And the good news here is that families are not powerless. Having some awareness, having some honest conversations, setting some loving boundaries are really going to protect far more effectively than fear mongering, fear based strategies saying you better not ever do this. If I ever catch you doing, doing this. We really want to create an environment for disclosure because the online gambling is going to thrive in silence and we need to really counteract that with a connection. And so talk openly about the risk model. Model some healthy attitudes towards risk, towards entertainment. Talk about it with your family. This is so important to have this conversation because there are so many ways in which screens can impact us negatively. And one of the other negative impacts, impacts of technology that I saw this week with some new research that shows that tweens this is specifically like the 11 to 12 year old range who struggle to control their phone, social media or gaming use which can often go into that gambling model, are more likely to, this is, this should not be a shocker to anyone, are more likely to face mental health challenges, sleep disruption and even early, early substance abuse. So we're talking about addiction, addiction to gambling platforms, addiction to social media and phone electronic platforms. That really is happening. And we see this compulsive use and stress when separated from their devices. And I saw a really disturbing headline this week that I won't repeat here, but a child being enacting violence against his family for being separated from a gaming system. I mean these stories are not common but they are happening. And that's an extreme case. But we see all kinds of family impacts along the way and we know that when, if a kid's feeling stressed when they're separated from their devices, that, and that stress is interfering with their daily life, that means trouble ahead. And we know that these devices are woven into our family life but when the use becomes compulsive it impacts everything. So again, great opportunity to have, have some to have some conversation with your family about healthy media habits, what platforms you're using, what behaviors you're engaging in, what what apps are you downloading? Just having regular conversation about looking at the apps, it might be great in your family. One thing I've done in my family before is just swapping phones and saying, hey, look at all my apps and ask any questions you have about any apps that I have and having that kind of transparency that can be really helpful in seeing that if you get your screen time report, if you have an Apple iPhone on Sunday morning, have a family meeting about it and ask and see who's spending the most time on their phone. Maybe you could have a competition to see whoever spends the least amount of time on their phone this week will get a prize that is agreed upon by the family. You can do a deep dive and look and see, okay, where are your kids spending their time? And this is the question that I want you to ask. If you use this tool, the screen timer tool, looking at how long you are spending, you can do it for your kids, you can also do it for yourself. Look at where you're spending the most amount of time on your phone and then ask yourself, what need am I trying to meet by this engagement here? What is missing in my life? Is it that I don't have any downtime? Is it that I'm Trying to numb out. Is it that I don't have a connection and I'm seeking a connection especially for your kids. That's really important to see. Okay, what not just get off of that platform, stop using that screen time, bring it down, what are you going to replace it with that is good, that is made in this day that the Lord has made for you. That is a good question to ask.

Scammers increasingly target older adults with sophisticated schemes using technology

Third story I want to tell you about is also related to technology and we are seeing, I'm seeing several news stories about online scams. Again, all of this seems to always revolve around technology. But we are seeing scammers increasingly target older adults, especially with very sophisticated schemes that are phone, that are email, that are online. They will pose as a trusted institution, they will pose as a family member, they will pose as a government agency. I know my sister in law got one the other day where she was threatened to be arrested because she didn't show up for jury duty. That was not true. And these scams can really lead to serious financial loss and emotional distress. And so it's not, this is not just a financial issue, it's really family vulnerability and that can be really hard. So talk about some of the common scam tactics that are happening with your older family members. When you hear about them, share with them as information. Just say, hey, I'm trying my best to keep up to date on some of the scams that are happening. I just want you to know that there's this scam going around. Hey listen, we know that older adults love to send articles to younger adults about news that's going there. We can send it the other way and say, hey, I saw this article, article about a scam. I just want you to be aware, have a family code word. So if your family, if somebody calls and is trying to scam your family saying that your nephew's in jail and you need to send them bail money, ask them for the code word. That is a great way to help make sure that your family stays safe. Don't be afraid to hang up and call that person right back. Because we need to know that AI only only needs a few seconds of your voice to generate a whole vocabulary. So it can be really hard to see what is real and what isn't. There's some other safety alerts that you can have in your family and talk about what do we need? What safety boundaries do we need here? Before you go and start pulling money out of your account or buying gift cards to send if you're ever in doubt, just tell your especially older relatives, say, hey, call me. We'll figure it out out together. And I pray that as you're praying about keeping your family safe, I pray that you would have a safe, healthy and happy Friday. And that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. And I'll see you right back here on Monday.

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.