Transcript

American Family Radio thanks sponsor, Preborn for supporting pro life advocacy

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

This week we talk about creating tech free times for your family

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to a Happy Friday. I love Fridays and I especially love summer Fridays. I know I'm still working, the schedule still feels the same, but summer, somehow it doesn't. I love that it stays lighter outside. I love the slower pace that it feels like. I love the, the sound of the cicadas outside. Like I just, I love all things summer. And I hope you're having a great summer wherever you are. And we are right in the middle of talking of our summer tech habits. And if you've been following since January, you know that we started out with four core spiritual disciplines. This is every Friday and catch any Friday show. So sometimes I'll do Friday on a Thursday, but it'll tell you that on the app. And then we talked about six rhythms your family needs, eight communication techniques that they need. And now we are rolling into tech and we are getting into the heart of this. We've talked about some basic things, about reading what films you watch with your family, how to be in pictures, those kinds of things. And last week I talked about tech free zones. These are places in your home where technology is just never welcome. I share my places are the dinner table and in the car usually, unless we're on a long trip, then that can be an exception. But I love having a captive audience. My other tech free zone is the bedroom. And we are going to talk today about tech free times. And this is so important. So I want you to hang with me. I am going to talk about, I'm going to give you a movie review today actually, because it was really convicting to me. But let me, let me just back up for just a minute because when we talked about tech free zones, these are really important physical boundaries in our home. And this week we're going to take it a step further. And what I see, and I've been talking about a lot, is families sitting in the same room while every person is staring at a different screen. You may have your earbuds in your headphones, your AirPods, whatever it is, but you're all watching a different hyper personalized worldview. And what I think is trending in the news is way different than what my husband thinks is trending in the news is way different than what our kids think is trending in the news because they're being fed an algorithm led news feed that is based on what the news feed thinks and predicts it will want. And this is slowly creating some distance in your relationship through micro disconnections because we're missing that little facial expression, that little look of worry that goes across their face, that one little comment that they made that maybe I want to follow up on. We are just totally tuned out. And a family can protect certain spaces. We can have those tech free zones, whatever that may be for your family. If it's mine, it's the dinner table. But they can still not proactively engage in connection. So we can have a boundary, but without replacing that void that is created by the absence of technology, we're not going to really make much progress. And so that's why this week's habit is not merely creating tech free zones, it's creating tech free times. And this isn't just about limits. Like this is intentional periods where devices are put away. Yes, but so that relationships can come forward. It cannot be just limits and screen time rules and phone police. There has to be a more compelling invitation. So yesterday I know some of you are, are going to say, wait, what? Yesterday I went to see the movie Toy Story 5. Yes, I did. I have been following this for quite some time and I was very, very curious to see how technology would be presented in this huge cultural movement. So I, This is a movie that I suspect many parents of Gen Z Gen Alpha younger children, they are going to experience this less as entertainment and more as a mirror. And if I could describe it in one word, it probably would surprise you. The one word that I would just use to Describe Toy Story 5 is convicting. And I was really taken off guard by that. But before I go any further, let me offer a few important disclaimers. I'm not offering any commentary on Disney as a company in this. That is a separate issue really beyond the scope of what I can cover today. I do acknowledge the complicated dynamics there for sure. But I want to share with you my observations about this specific movie, this specific cultural inflection point and which it arise because this conversation is really important. And I firmly believe that Christians need to engage in this conversation, movie or no movie. Now. Second, every family should do their own homework. Before deciding what media is appropriate for your family viewing, you need to seek the discernment of the Holy Spirit. You need to honor your family's convictions. You need to do your own homework. Stand by those convictions. I use resources like plugged in online, that is from Focus on the Family. That's really helpful in providing some detailed content reviews so that you can discern whether this would be an appropriate content for your family. And I firmly believe also and preparing your children for what they are going to see, no matter what you're going to see. Give them some guidance. Ask them to be on the lookout for certain things and ready to discuss it afterwards. That makes them engaged and prompted and ready to have discussions. Movies are so much more useful when you use them as a discussion prompt and not just entertainment. It can be a discipleship moment. So to be clear, I'm not telling you to go out and see the movie. I'm. I'm just sharing my observations and giving you information so you can be discerning. And I'm inviting you to join the conversation again, movie or not. Now, having said that, I honestly did not see Toy Story 5 as primarily a movie for children. I think it's really going to be much more instructive for parents and for many parents of the iPad kid generation. I'm telling you, my experience yesterday walking out of the theater was parents basically had experienced a, ah, gut punch with this movie.

Toy Story franchise follows a group of toys that's led by Woody

Now let me give you a brief synopsis and catch you up in case you're not familiar. So this Toy Story franchise, it follows a group of toys that's led by Woody, who is a loyal cowboy action figure, kind of, I think, from the 1950s, and Buzz Lightyear, who was a Space Ranger action figure. And they navigate the joys and challenges of belonging to the children that they love. And across the series, the Flint, the films really have been very popular. They explore friendship, loyalty, purp, change, growing up, learning to let go, all those things. And at its heart, Toy Story is really not about toys. Actually, it's about relationships and finding meaning through loving and serving others, even as seasons of life change. That's why a lot of people cry when they watch these, because it's about kids growing up. And this series actually spans about 30 years from when the first one came out. And that's extremely interesting to me because we see this as essentially the exact timeframe that has been so fundamentally Disruptive to childhood as we have known it here in America. And really these movies have kind of evolved in real time with our kids. Now this newest installment, the fifth one, follows nine year old Bonnie, a little girl. And she is entering, as kids always do, a new developmental season of life. And she receives this personal electronic device. And what begins as a well intentioned effort by her parents to help her as a lonely child, navigate friendships, it gradually transforms her relationship with her family, her toys, her imagination, ultimately herself. Now the central conflict is not technology. Now that may be surprising, but that is not the central conflict. The conflict is what happens when technology becomes the primary mediator of childhood. This is my take on it. Now this new character, the electronic device is called Lily the Leap Pad. I want you to envision kind of a square shaped tablet, almost looks like an Etch A Sketch, but it's an electronic tablet. A tablet and it, and she serves as the antagonist. Now I didn't see her as a villain, I didn't see her as inherently evil, just influential. That's really what she was, a social experiment. And that is exactly what we're doing with kids in real life. We are conducting the greatest social experiment that has existed in modern history. And our kids are paying the price for that. And honestly I think that's one of the things that made the character so effective. Because that is how devices operate in our homes. Not through malice, it is through replacement, through replacement of influence. Parents are competing to be the primary influencer.

Toy Story 5 comes with a PG rating and previous Toy Story films were rated G

So here's a few observations just starting off. The parents should know this installment, this fifth episode, fifth, fifth, sequel here comes with a PG rating and previous Toy Story films were rated G. Now that's primarily because there is a bathroom training electronic toy named Smarty Pants and he introduces some potty humor that honestly I just personally found wholly unnecessary. I think that could have been a completely different storyline. There's no language in the movie, but there are a few of my pet peeves. pseudo swear words, substitutions. Most of those will likely go over kids heads. But anytime you include that it's just, it's disappointing. It's not needed at all. There is also reportedly a reference to Bridgerton I read about after the fact. I did not catch it. I've never watched Bridgerton, so it didn't stand out to me. Ah, that what happened in the film didn't stand out as inappropriate to me. I didn't recognize it or see as anything troublesome. And there is also a male action figure who appears in A tutu during a tea party scene. But honestly, my take on that, watching that was it struck me as entirely realistic as how little girls play. If you have something that is very masculine, like I'm going to dress everything up and put pink all over everything, that's kind of how it came across different to me. But it may make some people uneasy given the sensitivity of the current cultural conflict around that issue. Now, the reason is PG is because of significant themes now. There's cyberbullying, there's social exclusion, there's digital dependency, there's emotional consequences of technology mediated childhood. And what struck me most wasn't that, oh, it's PG because of those things. It struck me how accurately it reflected that childhood seems no longer G rated. That made me really sad. Now the knee jerk reaction would be to say, why do you have to make a kids movie pg? But my reaction was different. I thought, why does the world have to be PG for little kids? And I found that what was portrayed on the screen was entirely realistic to today's childhood experience. And no adult should be okay with that. I mean, we just shouldn't. The fact is, devices have stolen innocence in some way from childhood and they have accelerated growing up. And this was a theme of the film, talking about how it makes them grow up faster. And that is true. Many children today carry devices that are capable of exposing them to things like bullying and inappropriate language, mature content being excluded, having fomo, fear of missing out, comparison manipulation. And the movie may be pg, but it reflects a world that is PG around them and often PG13 or even worse because we have this saturation of screens now.

The film captures a reality many families are quietly experiencing

One of the most haunting images throughout the film is to me was not a specific scene. It was a cumulative picture. It kept going back to show homes that were darkened, people isolated in separate rooms, faces that were just illuminated by blue screens. They had very little movement. They were just sitting in a basement, on a chair, on a couch, by themselves. No interaction, no conversation. And the movie captures a reality and really calls it out that many families are quietly experiencing. We are more digitally connected than ever. So yes, we have all of these digital connections, but we're relationally disconnected from each other. And there were so many times that the toys would go to characteristically freeze, like when, like they do when humans approach. It's like they're having this little adventure. A human comes and they freeze, they fall over. But one of the stark things that stood out to me was that there was no need to do that. It was like that had that Time had passed by because it every human that passed them was just staring down at their phone. They weren't looking around them, they weren't observant about the world around them. They weren't looking at other people. They were totally engrossed in their phones and they didn't even see this happening. That is a reality of modern day childhood. The other reality that happens and one of the most important lessons in the film, I believe has nothing to do with technology and a lot to do with parenting confidence or lack thereof. Now, one of the strongest elements of the movie that I appreciated is Bonnie's parents. This is a mom and a dad living with their daughter. They're clearly committed to their family. They're not neglectful, they're not apathetic, they're not clueless caricatures as we often see. They're loving and present and engaged and concerned. And they see that their daughter is struggling socially and they're talking about what do we do? What do we do to help her? They see loneliness and they want to fix it. And that alone just feels so refreshing to see engaged, caring parents. Because many parents today are facing exactly the same dilemma. Children are lonelier than ever and parents know it. And technology often arrives as a proposed solution. But, many parents feel pressure to adopt that because we don't know the world and we believe the worst of case predictions that our parent that our kids give us. When we come back, I'll talk about how our kids can really guilt us into boundaries letting up boundaries that we should keep. I'll be right back.

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Noboby But Jesus by Maverick City Music & Song House: m before I ever knew his name I was there to walk in my way Stuck in all my sin and shame I was destined for the grave if you've been searching if you've been hur Then call out his name Nobody but Jesus Outside of the names nothing was the same the only one I claim is Jesus Saved by His grace he died in my place there's no other name but Jesus he's still healing mind.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Nobody But Jesus by Maverick City Music and Song House. I'm so glad that you are here today. It is Friday. We're talking about today's healthy habit. Before I get back into it, I want to remind you about the Ten Commandments project that is going on. The AFA is accepting speeches submitted by June 30th. This is for ages 7 to 17. It's a great project for kids and parents and grandparents. You can go to afr.net/tencommandments if you're looking for something to do. And that's exactly what I'm talking about today in our healthy habit.

We're talking about tech free times. So often we talk about this and being the phone police

We're talking about tech free times. Now. So often we talk about this and being the phone police and how much screen time and how much should I limit and how much should I restrict. If we do not provide a compelling alternative then the void that is left by removing those electronic sources of entertainment is just going to fester. Honestly. And today I'm giving you a review of the movie Toy Story 5. I went to see it yesterday. I was so convicted I cannot stop thinking about it. And actually my producer is giving me live reports here and we're seeing even, let me see if I can find it here. Yes, even Walker Wildmon just put out a statement on social media that Disney deserves credit for a well Produced Toy Story 5. The technology versus toy plot is brilliant and relevant in a screen addicted society. Many parents will learn from the lessons depicted in this movie and I'm breaking those, some of those lessons down for you.

Many parents today face pressure to get their kids a smartphone

Now what I was talking about is the pressure that parents feel to get their kids a device. I get that question all the time, how old? When should I give it to them? And, and I never give an age because it all depends on developmental ability and maturity. It should be milestone based, not age based. It should be character based. Kids have underdeveloped character to handle the overexposure that comes with a smartphone. And many parents today find themselves facing a new kind of pressure that is from their own children. It's not even from peer pressure. It's like little people pressure from your. The, the people living in your house. And while children may not intentionally be manipul, sometimes they can be. They often repeat cultural messages that create fear and uncertainty in parents. Tell me if you've heard this before. These arguments when your kid wants a device, hey, everyone else has one. And they present this as universal. Like you feel like you're unfairly depriving your kid, like you're being so unrealistic. When in reality everyone quote unquote is usually a small peer group, not literally everyone, although I have had my kids have that situation before where everyone in their class had access to a device and they didn't. The good news is you can say things like well our family's different and that's okay. Be confident in that because research shows even if you're different together in your family that kids are going to do okay with that. Now here's another message. I'll have no friends if you don't let me have it. I'll be left out of everything. And that may be the most powerful argument for parents. I hope no kids are listening so they know how to exploit it your emotions. But it targets the parents deepest fears because no loving parent wants their kid to be lonely and isolated and friendless. And I know, I have prayed. I know so many other parents have prayed for friendships for their kids. But true friendship has existed long before smartphones and social media and group chats. You might hear, you're ruining my social life. And kids may sincerely believe that digital access is the same as social connection, but that just the fact that they're discomforted, that they're uncomfortable, that they are experiencing a little social pain there or stress, that's not evidence that a boundary is wrong. You might hear, but now I'm going to be the weird kid. And children are highly motivated by belonging. And when they're afraid of standing out in a weird way that can feel like the end of the world to them. Even though the long term benefits of a boundary outweigh that temporary social discomfort. And that's where we just have to come in as parents and be really calm and really confident and say, I understand that you don't like this. I understand you even hate it. But that's okay because I love you enough to let that happen. Because I am more concerned about your health, your relational health, your emotional health, your physical health, your social health. And God has given you to me to entrust. And I've got to do the best that I can, and you're gonna have to trust me in that. And parents just start, you know, being this catastrophic narrative. Oh, by the way, the other, the other argument you hear a lot is I need it for school, I have to have it for school. And sometimes those education needs are real, but sometimes it is just not necessary. Sometimes it can be, all right, I'm going to be in there with you, or I'm going to be supervising that more closely. And children are so good at coming up with the worst case outcomes. I'll never fit in. Nobody's going to invite me anywhere. I'll be left out forever. This is ruining my life. And over time, parents start believing these predictions. If we're really honest, we think, maybe I am messing this up. And they make decisions based from fear rather than conviction in what is right. And that's why we cannot make these decisions from a fearful place. We have to make them from a faithful place. Seek counsel, pray about it, do your research, make a decision, stand by it. If you make the wrong one, you apologize, you reset the boundary. Because children are usually not trying to deceive you. They're not telling you something they don't believe. They are expressing genuine fears through the limited perspective of childhood. And the challenge for parents is to distinguish, okay, here's your immediate feelings and this is what's actually best for you in long term development. And so we have to remember, children are experts in being children. Parents are called to be experts in being parents. And so your child may be very confident that unrestricted device access is necessary for them to be happy, for them to have friends, for them to be successful. But wisdom often means tolerating your child's temporary disappointment in you in order to protect their long term flourishing. And sometimes the most loving answer is yes, sometimes it's not yet, and sometimes it's, I understand why you want that, but I'm still convicted and convinced that this boundary is good for you. The answer is no, that's it. And stick with it, knowing it's okay to apologize and reset so many times I go to my kids and I'll say, hey, I know we have this boundary, this rule here, but I need to reset it. Sometimes it's more restrictive, sometimes it's less restrictive. I say, I learned something new and it's convicting to me to reset the boundary for you so that I can provide the healthiest, safest, best experience for you. And I know you may not like it, but I just ask you to trust me. That's it. And going back To Toy Story 5, this is what happened with Bonnie, this nine year old little girl. Her parents, they were portrayed as genuinely believing that, okay, maybe this device will help her connect because they saw she was genuinely lonely. And that's where the movie felt very painfully realistic. Because most parents don't introduce technology because they don't care. They do it because they do care and they want to solve a problem. They want to help. They just have. We, we have knowledge gaps on what that's going to look like because this is all an experiment. The movie also captured something that many parents rarely admit. All the uncertainty, the second guessing, the constant internal dialogue, the dialogue that goes on between parents, not an earshot of the child just saying, are we doing the right thing? Did we make the right choice? Should we get this? Should we not? Should we loosen the requirements? Should we make it more strict? Like, should we ban it forever? Should we give it to them because we gave it to our other kid? Is just this constant, like, am I being too strict? am I being unreasonable? Am I holding them back socially? M. Am I overreacting? Bonnie's parents do attempt limits and they set boundaries, but they struggle to consistently enforce them. Again, very painfully realistic because I have been there.

Many grandparents can be a tremendous source of encouragement by reminding younger parents about parenting

I also, grandparents were not in the film, but I thought about grandparents so much during this because so often what I hear is grandparents, they don't identify with the technology piece. They, they didn't grow up with that. they didn't raise their kids with that, but they absolutely understand the parenting piece. And each generation has experienced moments where enforcing a boundary felt uncomfortable, where a child pushed back and a parent wondered, am I doing the right thing? And many grandparents, I believe, can be such a tremendous source of encouragement by reminding younger parents, hey, you don't have to be perfectly confident. You don't have to be a perfect parent to do your best. And this will pass. They will get over it. They will love you. Here's how to navigate your relationship and that change. And I think so often because older generations and grandparents, they feel so much Fear and concern for their grandkids. and sometimes that concern comes across. But we can, we need to be making sure that we give just as much encouragement as we do concern or armchair parenting, which is easy for us to do in any generation. Now, really, in this movie, In Toy Story 5, what disturbed me the most, honestly of anything was how rapidly Bonnie changed. Now when this movie starts, she is the most adorable little girl. She's a little bit shy, but she's super imaginative, super sweet, super gentle spirit. And that's how this is an experience that a lot of families have lived through. And they see, their daughter or their son, they see their child as carefree, as imaginative, as playful, as relational, as not self conscious. And then they quickly become anxious and uncertain and image conscious and emotionally reactive and distant. Now, for Bonnie's case, this happened within a few days of her using the LeapPad. And I believe that to be true. I believe that an electronic device can totally change a child in just a very short period of time. And the most heartbreaking part of watching that is that she starts abandoning the things that she genuinely enjoys, the parts of her personality that really would be God, in order to be acceptable to a peer group. It's not, what do I like? What do I want? What does God want for my life? It's, oh, what, what do I need to do to be accepted in this moment? So that is not a technology story. It's not a toy story. It is a discipleship story. That is a family discipleship story. Because something or someone is always teaching our kids what is most important. What to value, who is valued, what to prioritize. And that's why I'm talking today about filling that void of tech free time. Not just having the limit, but filling it with something more compelling. Because when we look at the health and relational and developmental costs, the spiritual costs of device dependence, that is why where I found myself when one line from Jesse really felt like the most important line of the whole film. Now, this was, about a cowgirl named Jessie who goes by Jessica many times in the movie. So I'll just disclose my bias there because I'm a Texas girl named Jessica. So maybe I identified a little too much with that. But when we look at the health impacts of digital device dependence, there were some things again, that just literally chilled my blood as I was just sitting there watching this movie. Several scenes really convicting, but one in particular. So Bonnie has just gotten her new device. It's still pretty new. It's on a Charger On a nightstand right next to her bed, as so many devices are. And it shows her asleep in the early hours of the morning. And she's really groggy and just barely starting to wake up. But you can tell that her first conscious thought, her first instinct was her hand to reach over her eyes were not even fully awake yet. Her hand was to reach over for the device and grab it like a lifeline. And I won't spoil it too much, but something had happened and it didn't charge. And the meltdown that happened when you see that you don't have that device. Honestly, I know this is going to sound a little dramatic, but this is how people with addiction to substances act. I mean, this is the same kind of just soul dependence that we have. And that is. That was really hard. Even when you're looking at an animated scene. Countless parents have watched a version of this unfold in real life, either in their kids or themselves. So the film accurately portrays how devices affect sleep. Her sleep all of a sudden is off. Her mood is remarkably changed. She went from being a happy, carefree child to moody, really disrespectful in some senses. She was cut off. She did was not open. She had trouble paying attention. There were. She wouldn't talk to her parents. She was glued in on her device. And even her movement, she just sat in the bed all day with the device glued to the device. Whereas before she had been running and playing and active outside. The whole family interaction changed. And you could tell the parents were just really perplexed and really distressed, but they didn't know what to do. And we see children sitting immobile for extended periods of time. Family movements, moments are interrupted and relationships are competing constantly with notifications. On your phone. You. You're constantly have these micro disconnect. And I feel like the enemy is working overtime to amplify those moments of micro disconnection to separate kids from their parents. Because that was the other striking theme is how quickly the device created distance between Bonnie and her parents. They remained physically present, but they increasingly lose visibility into her world. And they're trying. They're engaged. They don't really understand what's happening. And they quickly find themselves on the outside of Bonnie's thoughts. They don't know what's going on in her heart and mind. And many parents today find themselves in that exact same position. One of the strongest lines of the movie comes when Jesse wonders. There. Jesse and the lily pad are having an argument about who's going to find Bonnie. Some friends and Jesse and. And of course the lily pad says, I'm going to find them online. And Jesse just wonders incredulously, how are they supposed to make friends if they aren't even looking at each other? That's what she says might be the thesis statement of the entire movie because it repeatedly demonstrates healthy relationships cannot be fully replaced by digital interaction. When we come back, I'm going to tell you about another heartbreaking scene. I know it sounds so sad, but Toy Story will make you cry, but it's just because it's a scene that plays out in everyday reality. And when we come back, I'm going to talk about what I see as one of the greatest tragedies of a digitally connected generation. And that is the death of imagination. But I'm not going to leave you sad. I'm going to leave you with help and hope and what you can do to push against that. I'll be right back after this break. America's 250th birthday. It's a great excuse to have some extra cake and ice cream, but we can help your celebration go well beyond that. Show your patriotism with America. 250 apparel that will become a memento of this special year. We also have special episodes on AFA Stream to help underscore that America is a Christian nation and help you find God in the Constitution. Find all of this and more in one place. afa.net/topics/250

God Is Good (All The Time) by Austin French: Lately I've been wrestling with everything cause everything seems hard. Been caught up in the worry and anxiety keeps tearing me apart. but I've been down and out before and every time I cry out to the Lord he meets me in my need I've seen and I believe God is good all the time Faithful as the sun to rise Walk with me every day of my life I'll sing it again I'll sing it again. God is good yes he is through it all I'm sure of this. M.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is God is good. I'm waiting for you to say all the time and all the time God is good. Just say it out loud wherever you are and if anybody looks up just tell them the truth that God is good all the time. That's by Austin French and God is good all the time. Listen, today we are talking healthy habits and our habit is tech free times. And I think it is not a coincidence that it came on the heels. I went to see Toy Story 5 last night and I've been giving a movie review. Listen back from the beginning for all that information. But it was deeply convicting. It really was. And I am grateful for opportunity to have conversation about what I'm seeing every day in clinical practice in my communities. I'm seeing parents who are disconnected, parents who are struggling to disciple their kids. And there were so many illustrations of that through the movie. Now, one particularly heartbreaking scene showed another child who was really excited about a play date. You know, somebody's coming over. I'm sure all of you can remember when you were a little kid and somebody was coming over to play, that was a big deal. And you're so excited and another kid cancels just through a casual digital message. And so you've got tears on one side and this complete emotional detachment on the other side. It says, I forgot. Lol. And I think that is so sad that we have that because we treat people one way in a digital environment, that we would never treat them in person. We're just like, yeah, okay, I forgot. But you don't see the eye contact. You don't see the look of concern. You don't see, oh, I know they feel bad. You don't feel that reassuring tap on your shoulder to say, like, hey, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I. I forgot. Please forgive me. It's just this very. It's just apathy. And that's where I see kids acting older than they are and where they're speaking very disrespectfully because they've learned this language to speak to each other, not even through words, but through emojis. We don't have eye contact, no tone of voice, no empathy, no relational accountability. Just again, micro and macro disconnections and so many, so much uncertainty about then where do you stand in the relationship, in the friend group? And that's what we see so many unhealthy versions of relationships that emerge from this digital culture. Like a situationship that means, hey, a friendship that just works for me in whatever situation I want you in. But I don't really care about you. I just care about what you're going to do for me or calling someone a simp, saying, oh, you, you like that person way more than they like you. Aren't you pathetic because you serve someone and you care about and you do for others more than they do for you. Why are these bad things now? One of the things is that other things that I think is important to point out is the movie is actually not anti technology. So spoiler alert there, because that's Important. We live in a world that is technology saturated. That train has left the station. That is not going to change. As much as I know, so many of us, and I'm including me in this, are tempted to run away and live in a bunker. We aren't going to be able to do that. Technology is here to say. And this movie actually did show one particular family. And really they had no point in the movie except to show, I think, a healthy use of technology. So they're using gps, they're using their devices to find the campsite. It serves a purpose. But then they get in the tent and a physical book comes out and the mom is reading a book, turning the pages. They're having some physical and emotional closeness. The screen stays outside and it's beautiful because technology is a tool. And that was really encouraging to see. I was also really unexpectedly delighted to see scenes of little girls imagining future families, pretend weddings engaging in imaginative role play that really largely resolved around a wedding. It was sweet and it was funny and it was wholesome and increasingly uncommon. And there were some elements in there that you think like, okay, well, wait, what did they say like? Or that doesn't make sense. But to me, it was all very much the overflow of childhood imagination. And there are moments in the movie where the toys kind of manipulate messages or communications without Bonnie's awareness. And this was obviously just played for the story purposes. But I couldn't help but think about AI artificial intelligence, because we are increasingly outsourcing our decisions, our communications, our recommendations, and even relationships to technology. You can see that on your text messages. If someone texts you, it automatically gives you an AI prompt. And I will tell you, I absolutely refuse to use it, even if for efficiency's sake, because I don't want AI to shape my relationships with other people. I want what I'm saying to them to be coming from me and not my designated robot. But this movie raised an important question about that. How much autonomy are you willing to surrender now? One of the most visually striking themes in Toy Story 5 is the contrast between the dark, depressing, enclosed world of screens and really the beauty of the world that God created. So throughout much of the film, technology really creates a dungeon like atmosphere. Rooms are dark, faces just glow from the blue light of that screen. It seems, honestly, maybe it's a little dramatic to say evil, but there is evil that happens there. And children become increasingly still. They're isolated, they're disconnected. And that visual message was really powerful because the more attention that the devices command, the smaller the child's world gets. It's just one corner of the sofa, one little blue glowing screen. Now, in contrast, some of the most beautiful scenes in the movie take place outdoors. A, family camping trip. It showcases fresh air, adventure, shared experiences. They're talking together, they're, they're playing. Children are in the sunshine. And there's a stunning image of a grassy hill that's crowned by the most glorious climbing tree that you would want to climb with a tire swing. And that picture feels nostalgic, and it reminds viewers this is the joys of simple childhood. Just sitting on a tire swing and just enjoying the outdoors. Whether intentional or not. I don't know if it was because I wasn't one of the makers of the movie, but I found that imagery presented a very profound contrast. One world is artificial, it's manipulated, it's mediated, it's confined, it's controlled. And the other is expansive. It's limitless, it's embodied, it's alive. And as Christians, this should remind us that God designed children not merely to consume content, but to experience creation. And scripture begins in a garden. Throughout the Bible, we see God revealing himself through mountains and seas and trees and fields and birds and stars and space. This is the boundaries of imagination. Children were made to run and explore and create and wonder and discover. And perhaps one of the most compelling messages of the film is not simply put down your devices, but to look up and look around, step outside, notice the beauty that God has made. You're missing out so much with your eyes glued to a little blue screen. To remember, no screen can compete with the wonder of creation, of God. No screen can compete with relationships that flourish within it. So technology offers us information. It's helpful. But creation is awe inspiring. And children need both truth and wonder to flourish. They need to wonder at a God so big and powerful that he can make something so beautiful. And there was a stark contrast between the limited nature of the screen. Lily pad is one little square. But during the play scenes, the animation shifted. It became much more bold and bigger, and it just seemed larger than life. That's the beauty of God given creativity and imagination. And the line that stayed with me throughout the film was, games are not the same as play. And I think that is a really important message because what I felt like I was watching wasn't primarily concern about the technology that's happening. It wasn't as I was looking at other parents who were there and we were talking a little bit afterwards. It wasn't like, oh, yeah, I'm concerned About this too. It was. This grieves my soul. This makes me so sad. I'm grieved over the loss of imagination. And I thought about my own childhood, to be honest with you, because my dad had a side, gig that he would sometimes move people and he would rent a moving truck. And when that moving truck came to our house, oh, my, My siblings and I knew this was not a moving truck. Actually, it was Gilligan's Island. It became Gilligan's Island. We would climb up into the truck and, oh, no, all of a sudden, we're trapped. If you're wondering who I, who I was, I was Marianne. My sister was, the, was Ginger, the supermodel, because she was the tallest. And we would convince my other sister to be Mrs. Howell. I know it was so sad because she was not young, but she was very rich. And that was a consolation that we provided. We had two of my brothers would be. Gilligan would be the captain. Of course, the kid across the street had to be the professor because we didn't feel like we were smart enough to be the professor. And we would play for hours.

Many children think play just means interacting with a screen

And I was thinking of the owner, my own children and the worlds that they created when they were little and castles and forts and kingdoms and stories and characters they only knew. And play wasn't something that was consumed. It was something that was created by children. And today, I think many children think play just means interacting with a screen. But games are not the same as play. Entertainment is not the same as imagination. Consumption is not the same thing as creation play. And one reason I think this distinction has become so difficult to realize is because modern technology has just become increasingly effective at making entertainment feel like play. And the culture has embraced a strategy called gamification. Everything to keep you engaged. Rewards, streaks, points, badges, levels, notifications, likes, endless achievements to keep you on that gaming platform, on social media, on a shopping, app, just stay engaged as long as possible. But God made children to crave things like challenge and mastery and accomplishment and adventure. Those are God given desires. But I think companies are coming in and monetizing those desires and packaging them into this neat little digital experience that feels very productive but has very little imagination. Because in traditional play, children create the world. You have a cardboard box that becomes a spaceship, and a blanket is a castle, and a tree is a pirate ship. The child supplies the story, the characters, the rules, the problems, the solutions. And that's what you see here in Toy Story. Some of the stories don't make sense, and sometimes they involve themes that they may have experienced in the adult world but don't fully understand. So, for example, there's a who done it on who killed the maid of honor and the pretend wedding. And it's, it's very childlike in its presentation, but in most digital experiences, the world is already created for them. The characters are chosen, the challenges are determined, the rewards are programmed, and this imaginative work is outsourced to an electronic platform. And that's why kids can spend six hours gaming and still be bored an hour later. It was stimulating, but it wasn't fulfilling. There was no purpose. It was consuming rather than creating something. And the irony is that today's kids have access to more entertainment than any generation in history. And yet they are the most bored generation in history. They're the most bored and the most lonely. And the issue isn't that games are bad. Games can be really fun. The concern is what happens when games replace play, when constant electronic stimulation is replacing imagination, when children are just consuming and not creating. Because imagination is how kids learn how to problem solve, where they develop courage and creativity, and they learn to wonder. Games are not the same as play. And this film seems to be asking a deeper question. What happens, what is going to happen when, an entire generation of children loses the ability to create things because they're just constantly living in worlds that were created by someone else? And so, again, the goal is not to limit the screen time. Your goal should be to protect, proactively protect the conditions under which your children's imagination can flourish. It's not just limiting technology, it's unleashing creativity. It's not just unplugging your devices, it's replacing it with something else. So create something that your family can do together where everyone participates. Parents too. Devices go away and you do something analog. Maybe it's a board game, it's a puzzle, it' it's making a fort. It's reading out loud. It's taking a family walk. Do something imaginative. I'm talking costumes and puppets and blocks and crafts and cardboard boxes and all the things. What can you create? Practice some, weekly family tech Sabbath where you are starting small. The goal isn't raising children who don't use any technology. It's raising children who know technology is a tool. But it's not my identity, it's not my whole community. It's not my source of meeting, and that is important. Screens are not the enemy. Relationships need room to breathe, though, and imagination needs room to grow. And childhood deserves opportunities to remain creative. So don't be afraid if your kids say that they're bored. I will tell you it's probably going to get messy if they don't get on a screen. But that's okay. Maybe you just have one tech free hour each night. Maybe you just protect the first 30 minutes where everybody gets home. Maybe it's a screen free Saturday or a tech free Tuesday or just an imagination basket. Ask your kids, what would you ask me to do with you if you knew? I wouldn't say no. It's not so much you can't have have your screen. It's hey, let's see what we can create instead. We want to have tech free times to give childhood back. Do something fun, do something creative, do something imaginative. And as you do, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you. I'll see you right back here on Monday. We'd like to thank our sponsors including PreBorn. PreBorn is rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion and every day their network clinics rescue 200 babies lives. Will you join PreBorn in loving and supporting young moms in crisis? Save a life today. Go to preborn.com/AFR the views and

Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.