Transcript

Preborn needs pro life community support to help with affordable ultrasounds

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, preborn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time, she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends and happy Fri. Yay. It is Friday. Friday, as my kids like to say, and I like to say it, too. We have made it to the end of another week. And can you believe, can you even believe we are halfway through the month of March? I don't know if it's the news cycle in 2026, my own schedule. I don't know what it is, but it just feels like 2026 is just like coming at us like a freight train. It is here. It is unstoppable, and we are hanging on for dear life. But listen, the good news is you have lots of company. You're not alone. There are thousands and thousands of you listening together. And that gives me so many, so much hope in a world that can often seem hopeless.

Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday focuses on healthy habits for your family

And today on, this Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday, we're talking about healthy habits. We've been doing this journey. We started over in January, did it the last two years, actually. So if you want to go back and get more context, you, there are resources available for you on those Friday shows. But we started this in January, week one. We talked about basic spiritual disciplines that are the building block for the family. These are things like prayer, memorizing scripture, going to church and playing Christian music. Then we moved in February to talk about rhythms for your family. Rhythms are consistency. They make families feel safe and connected and emotionally, relationally healthy. And these are things that can be stacked, habits stacked onto those spiritual disciplines. So this is daily devotional, which, by the way, is separate, remember, from reading your Bible and memorizing scripture, but a great supplement, a great rhythm to have. We've talked about morning routine, nighttime routine, and sleep hygiene. Last week I talked about family dinner. And we're continuing with those rhythms, those family rhythms. And you may be going on vacation or staycation this week if you're in that spring break mode, if you got kids on Spring break. But there is a way that we can stay connected. Whether your kids are toddlers or teenagers or grown, or if it's your you and your spouse at home, the family that God has given you, this is an important habit. So this week, are you ready? Week 10. I cannot believe that week 10 we're talking about weekly check ins. Now, I want you to hang with me because that doesn't sound particularly exciting if we're being honest. But this is a really underutilized communication and connection tool that can really change your family. So go with me here, step into 2026 as we've been talking about it, and 2026 of any year previously in human history. We live in a world of automated reminders of technological innovation, of explosion that is dictating our lives and how we run our lives, how we run our schedules and how we're connected. And the honest, harsh truth is that most of us are more connected to a device than we are to a person. Most of us spend more time on our electronic device, whether that's a phone, a desktop, a laptop computer, what, a gaming system or console. Most of us are more connected to a device than we are to a person. If you don't believe me, if you have an iPhone, just look at your screen time and see where you're spending your time and how you're connecting. And then say, okay, if I had five hours this week, five hours every day on my device, did you spend five hours talking with your spouse every day talking? I bet not. And yet this is the average amount of time that teens, teens and many adults spend on their phone. We live in a world that gives us constant calendar alerts, sometimes from multiple different systems. We can, know about our fitness streaks, because I know that as I'm walking, it'll say, we've detected a change, in your trend and how many steps that you're taking. These things aren't bad, they're not terrible, but they can disconnect us from people in our lives. If we have medication notifications, if we have apps that are telling us, drink water, stand up, you need to breathe now. I mean, we constantly have robots telling us, you know, this, don't forget this coupon's going to expire. If you order today, we're going to give you a discount and, oh, there's a free reward in this app. Just open it up and you will find it. That can happen. We are reminded constantly, constantly to maintain our systems, but we are rarely reminded to connect, to have a soul connection, soul to Soul connection. So when we are connected digitally, the irony of that is that we feel emotionally and relationally out of sync. We feel disconnected. And parents often are discovering this is something I hear many, many times that they're discovering something was wrong, but. But it's too late. Harm has already happened. You wish that you had known. Like, I wish that I had paid attention. And I know this is a challenge for me as a parent, as a, even as, as a wife and your marriage, you know, you kind of get that feeling like, hey, I just saw a shadow pass their eyes. Like there's something there. But you get distracted by a notification or somewhere that you gotta go, something that you gotta do, somewhere you gotta be, some people you gotta see. And you just let that moment pass. And you, you don't stop, you're not present, you don't check in and say, hey, what's going on with you? And even if you don't get that feedback immediately, like, oh, thank you for asking, let me open up, I'm so glad you saw that shadow pass my eyes. And you know, I'll tell you everything that's going on. We want and crave that instant gratification, but that is not the way God made us. That is not real life. But what it does do is if you stop and check in and say, hey, I saw that shadow past your eyes. Is anything okay? You're signaling, hey, I notice you, I see you, it's safe to talk to me. And then you start paying attention and you start looking to see, like, where, where is anything else off? What else is going on? Let me pay attention. And over time, those consistent check ins, like, hey, I see that you seem a little worried, you seem a little down, you seem a little off. Like, say it kindly, of course, because that can be really misinterpreted. But say kindly, just that, that checking in is so important and especially for kids and teenagers. They'll often say, you know, you'll, you'll ask them, why didn't you tell me about this before? Why didn't you share this with me? Why have you been keeping this inside? Have you. Don't you remember either somebody asking you that or asking someone else that? And they say, or they think, well, it just didn't seem like there was a good time to bring it up. You, you're busy, you were distracted. Like we, it just, there was no invitation there. So I'm going to encourage you to be very intentional about having a weekly check in. Now, this is not a meeting, it's not A checkbox. It's not an interrogation. It's a relational rhythm. This is a predictable space where every family member knows there will be time for me to be heard, for me to be seen. That is the message that you're communicating. And God is a God of rhythms. God is a God of connection. Not just moments, just grand moments where you have these grand conversations. Scripture shows us, a God who checks in, who asks questions, who invites reflection, who is not too small to handle our questions, our worries. He walks with his people over time. And a weekly check in is something that mirrors that steady, attentive love. Now, why does it matter so much right now? Listen, we are living in a notification driven world. This is programming us to be automated. Automation is training us. And what, what is training us to, to really think and to behave, how to think and behave as humans is this. I want you to really think about this because it trains us to say, hey, if something matters, if something's really important, it gets a reminder. We'll get a reminder about something that's really important, whether that's an email, whether that's an app notification, whether that's a text message. But the irony is we have reminders for oil changes, for passwords, for packages that are arriving, but we don't have reminders for emotional health, for spiritual formation, for relational repair. Nobody's getting reminders that says, hey, you, you know, you been, y' all been really busy this week. You better check in with your husband and just make sure that, you know, he's feeling okay, feeling connected. Like you just don't get those kind of reminders. There's no robot that's sitting in the corner of our house monitoring our relationships and saying, oh, well, you know, you just turned your back there and you missed them rolling their ey and sighing again because you were too busy to notice. Like, this is a reminder check in. And that's really, really hard. Then, families are busy. And that busyness fractures us, it fragments us. Because life is happening in all of these different pieces that we're constantly trying to rearrange and remanage. We have different schedules, we have different screens, we have different emotional worlds that are happening right under the same roof. And that weekly check in creates a shared anchor where we're all coming together. Okay, everybody, for 15 minutes, we're going to have the same schedule, we're going to have the same attention span, we're going to have the same focus. And when you have that predictability, it builds safety in your home. And that's really important because when check ins are regular.

A weekly check in can help parents manage stress in family life

Think. I, want you to think about kids or teenagers who are trying to come up with a perfect time to tell you about something that's bothering them, tell you about something that's worrying them, tell you about something they've done that they're a little worried about or they regret. And they're constantly having to think, okay, when's the best time to, to bring it up? Like, not in the morning because we're rushed and we don't have that morning routine down thing yet. Like, mom is not going to appreciate it if I bring this up on the way out the door. Oh, but when she picks me up, it's busy too. But dinner, we got to get to sports. And bedtime, she's really tired. I don't want to, you know, she wants to go to bed. I'm saying that as a mom because I've experienced that as a mom. But if you have that weekly check in time, they can know, okay, they're going to ask me, I can bring it up. Then I, I, there is a specific time and I know that that's a safe place where we're in that right mind space. And it makes it easier to bring things up like that because a lot of times, let me tell you, teens, they don't want to, I'm, going to say this, but again, acknowledge that my kids, will cringe as I say it. They don't want to kill the vibe, okay? They don't want to crash the mood. They don't want to bring the mood down. They don't want to be that downer in that situation. And so that's what they say because they don't want you upset, they don't want to see you disappointed, they don't want to see you worried because then that impacts their feelings of emotional safety. But if you can be regulated and be like, okay, all right, that's, that's my job to worry. as your parent, that's my job to worry. That can be really helpful. And then you're not, what you're doing is shifting the rhythm in your home so you're not just relying on crisis moments for that connection. You're not just waiting for when they have a disclosure and then they tell you something and it's a crisis, it's already come to that point of crisis. Or you discover something and then you go into full on rage mode, like, why didn't you tell me? What were you thinking? All of those things are not really helpful. And a weekly check in is not meant to add pressure to family life. It's actually a pressure relief valve. It relieves that pressure. So let's clear up.

What is a weekly check in for your family?

What is this? What is this weekly check in? Well, it can be a lot of different things. Things. Let's talk about what it is and what it isn't and what it can be for your family. So what it is a set time. Just some set time during the week. It is a set time. Not a spontaneous emotional outburst. Okay? It's a set time. It is a listening space. So we have a set time for a listening space. A space that you're creating in your family where you are communicating to them. I am postured. I am prepared. I am ready to listen. Okay? Not a fixing session. Not a session where you're acting like an automated assistant on a website saying, oh, thank you for popping in. How can I help you? Have you tried this? Have you tried this? Let's troubleshoot. Okay? Take a survey about my service. It is also a relational pause, not a performance review. So did you get that? What it is, it's a set time for a listening space and a relational pause. Again, not a performance review. What it is not, it is not a lecture. It is not a discipline moment. It is, a. Not a place to pile on corrections. It is not something that has to be long or heavy. And when you name that space, this is our check in. Whatever it is, even if it's just as creative as this is our family check in, that's fine if you want to be creative. You know, that could be a creative use of AI Help us name our family check in. But everyone knows this is the place for honesty. This is the place where love comes first. This is the place where expectations are clear, walls come down where I am tuned in. It's a place with no phones, no distractions. And it can also happen in person. It can happen via video, video chat, or it can happen via text message. I'll talk about that. About making it doable. No matter your family's age, stage, or schedule. Now, every week is ideal because it's frequent enough that you catch things early and you have that consistent enough routine. But it's also infrequent enough that it feels manageable. You can check in once a week. Maybe that's a Sunday evening reset. Maybe that's a Friday night wind down. Maybe that's during a weekly meal. Maybe it's in the car on the way to a regular activity that you already have scheduled. Use that same automation culture that we criticized at the beginning to our advantage. Family and set your recurring phone reminder titled family check in reminder be present. That is really important. When we come back, I'll give you some age appropriate check in ideas and I'll also give you this week's homefront headlines and answer questions. I'll see you on the other side of this break.

 : Candace talks about finding out she was pregnant. Thankfully, an ultrasound provided by preborn and allowed her to hear her baby's heartbeat. The sonogram sealed the deal for me. My baby was like this tiny little spectrum of hope and I saw his heart beating on the screen and knowing that there's life growing inside. I mean that sonogram changed my life. I went from just Candice to mom. Thank you to everybody that has given these gifts. You guys are giving more than money. You guys are giving love.

 : Preborn currently has clinics that do not have ultrasound machines. Would you consider a leadership gift and sponsor a machine today? These life Saving machines cost $15,000 more than most centers can afford. Your donation will save countless lives for years to come. Dial pound250 and say the keyword baby or go to preborn.com/AFR

God Is in This Story by Big Daddy Weave and Katy Nichole : There's torn up pages in this book. Words that tell me I'm no good chapters that define me for so long but the hands of grace and endless love Dust it off and take me up Told my heart that hope is never gone. God is in this story. God is in the details Even in the broken hearts he holds my heart he never fails When I'm at my weakest I will trust in Jesus always in the highs and lows the one who goes before me. God is in this story.

Friday's Habit is a weekly check in. We started this back in January

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is God is in this story by Big Daddy Weave and Katy Nichole. And God is in your story. God is in your family's story. And we are talking today about healthy habits. We started this back in January. Listen to any Friday show and this week's Habit is a weekly check in. Now let me walk you through some practical age appropriate family stage check in ideas. Because if you've got littles at home, if you've got really little littles, listen, the shorter the better. Just keep it short and concrete. Maybe it's when you pick them up Sunday after church. Just asking what made you happy this week? What was hard? Who helped you? Who is someone who helped you this week? And you can use play. You can have them draw a picture of their if you want to. You can use stuffed animals to make it super fun and act things out or there are emotion cards that you can get or make that show them what emotion that they had this week and helping them name and claim their feelings that they had that week. Really, really good because you can start to have some coping mechanisms. Introducing. So if you can identify their feelings, like they don't know when they feel angry, that that's what feeling angry is like to saying, oh, you feel angry. Here's what we do when we feel angry. Here are good ways to express anger. Here are unacceptable ways to express anger. That's really important. If you've got tweens and teens or you know, school age kids who are going on 25, just normalize the complexity of life. You don't have to solve everything in this weekly check in, but just normalizing, hey, I know you're facing tough stuff that's not going to be solved this week. Like I was able to solve those toddler problems, diaper issues or you just spilled juice or whatever it is. Just say what felt heavy this week? Where'd you feel proud? What do you wish we understood better? What was the high and low of your week? Just asking whatever that question is that you're going to ask. Just asking a question once a week and respecting autonomy too. Like they don't have to answer everything. Silence is allowed. Just knowing that that's an open door. The, the reason that you're opening the door is not to get instant gratification and have them come in and say, oh, thank you dad. Thank you so much for implementing this healthy habit. I would now like to spill all of my guts to you and tell you every of one of my deepest, darkest secrets and fears because I know that's what you're wanting to know. That's not going to happen. But just having a check in, just saying, hey, I'm here. What's going on in your week? What have you got upcoming? What was tough about the last week that I can help you process? Every family is a little different and so that check in is going to be different. But I personally love looking forward to see. What do you have coming up this week? How can I pray for you? That's my check in. That's what I'm going to ask. What do you have coming up and how can I pray for you and then checking in afterwards. It gives me a great follow up point to say, hey, okay, you had this on Thursday. Here's something to think about, parents. Because if you don't do that, AI is going to do it for you. I'M just telling you right now, AI is so integrated into every electronic platform that we have. And increasingly AI companions are normalized. Almost 70% of kids use them. 7D that 7 0. And what AI does is it doesn't forget. So, ah, again, everything is automated. So if a child starts talking to a chatbot and says, I'm really worried about this test on Thursday, when the, the chat bot is going to say on Thursday, hey, how was that test? And it seems like it cares, but it doesn't. And meanwhile, mom and dad, they forgot about it because they were trying to get your poster that you needed for your science fair project and trying to figure out what we're going to give you for dinner. And they forgot and they don't care. See how easy the lies that we tell to ourselves, Lies that are sewn by the enemy. So, so, so important. And for parents and caregivers, check in with each other, spouses, if you're married, if you are co parenting, check in with each other. Like honesty, like modeling honesty. Hey, this is, this was the tough part of the week. Here was the high and the low. Maybe it's just the high and the low. What was the high and low of your week? Here's what it was. That honesty, that authenticity is going to build trust way faster than any perf ever could. And so just some simple, here's some simple ideas. But you do what's right for your family. one way to do this is a high, a low and a hope. Like, what was your high and what was your low of last week and what do you hope for next week? What do you have going on this week? What's one thing that you really want us to pray for you about? What's one thing we did well as a family? What do we need to work on this week? Whatever it is, if flexible, the rhythm of just that weekly check in matters more than the format. If you have adult kids who are out in the world, it's great just to check in with them once a week and not expect anything in return because you don't want to build resentment if they don't respond. Sometimes it takes a while to build trust, you know? Remember even when your kids were little, they were going through a challenging season and all of a sudden we're just, hey, mom, how are you? You're like, you want money, don't you? What? What do you want? What do you want me to say yes to? Well, adults are the same way. So build that trust and consistency over time and Faith trust builds. Best grows best. And those ordinary repeated acts of service, those repeated moments of presence and persistence and showing up because that weekly check in can become a really powerful place of gratitude. It can become a place of confession, it can become a place of prayer, whether that's even spoken or silent. You don't need a sermon, just a simple m prayer over your family is great like God, thank you for this week, God help us with the next week. And faith is becoming lived. This is a way to make your faith be lived and not lectured and a way to make your faith shared and not just siloed and silent and what you're just having there. So that discipleship doesn't always happen in lessons, it happens in listening. And we can use those weekly check ins as a point for listening.

Keep it simple, keep it predictable. The goal is consistency

So let's talk about some, some simple ways, some simple steps of what you're going to do. So first is how keep it simple, keep it predictable. The goal is consistency. It's not a deep therapy session that's ever happening every time. If you're doing this in person, I'm m talking 10 minutes. Like just one prompt that everybody answers. It can be the same prompt every week. It can be a different prompt. You can have your kids come up with their own prompt that can also be really funny. One prompt that my kids came up with one time was what is the phrase that your teacher or for the parents our boss says the most. And let me tell you, I did not realize that an elementary teacher could talk about Canada so much. It was random, it was hilarious, it was great. So one prompt that everyone answers, one moment of listening where you just all listen. There's no fixing, there's no lecturing, it's just listening. And then one closing practice, whether that's expressing gratitude, whether that's praying together, whether that's giving words of encouragement, can be any of those things. But short and sweet really is so much better over loud and intense. Short, sweet, flexible but consistent. Number two, win choose rhythm over convenience. The best times that usually are going to work for families are Sunday night because you're about to face that week, whether it's the work week, the school week, ah, that those weekdays, Sunday night you can reset. Look at the last week preview the week coming up. Friday nights might work best for your family depending on where you're at. Because it's kind of a time to wind down and think about it. It might be during a weekly meal or after a recurring activity. So if you go to a certain practice, a certain class Once a week that might be there. But put it on your calendar like an appointment, name it something relational. It could be just family check in, that's it. But maybe you have something more creative than that. And the third thing to consider is where match the setting to the age and energy of your family. So low pressure spaces are going to be the kitchen table, even better, a kitchen island, the bar in the kitchen, the living room couch, being in car rides because sometimes side by side reduces the intensity of looking into your eyes or walking around the neighborhood or at bedtime. For younger kids, that could be where you have your check in. We've already talked about bedtime routines and that could be a way that you habit stack. You see how easy it is to start to habit stack these things. And the best place is wherever people feel the least rushed and the most safe. That is really important. Now as I said, this can happen in person or it can be video or it can be text. Any of these can absolutely work. And it may be a different format for a different season and using more than one kind of changing it up, that might be okay too.

Video chat can help families maintain connection even when physical presence is impossible

So let's talk about in person first. This is best for families who are living under the same household together. They're under the same roof, they've got younger kids, they've got more time. That works because especially for younger kids, they need to see body language, modeled for them. They, that tone that you use builds emotional safety and it allows for some of those other shared rhythms that you have, whether that's nightly prayer or eating meals together, having the morning routine, the evening routine. And it's strongest for connection and co regulating your emotions. Keep it very accessible, short and sweet. 10 minutes. Sit in a circle, side by side, phones away. That's important. And don't turn it into a lecture or problem solving session or where you get frustrated. Now if you want to have this on video, this would be best for maybe kids who are in college or maybe you're in a, in a situation where you're divorced and your, your child is at the other parent's home. Or maybe parents are traveling for work or there's families who are in the military and they have a parent deployed overseas by the way, continuing to pray daily for our military and so grateful those families who serve. But this, the video chat can work because it still preserves that face, that facial expression, recognition, the voices that voices are con, deeply connecting even when your physical presence is impossible. It's kind of next best thing, right? It keeps the Rhythm across the distance and sends a message like you still belong here. Short and sweet is still the word. the words of the day. Five, ten minutes. Just that one simple question, Just asking that, whatever that is. Whether it's the same question or a different question each week, just asking that question and then having that habit of connection, whether it's praying together, asking, expressing gratitude, singing a song even, that would be great. And I would recommend again the high, the low and the hope. What was your high, what was your low of last week and what do you hope for this next week? That's important. So just end with encouragement, not logistics. That's really important too. You don't want to end with okay I'm going to pick you up at this time and take you this place and you're going to do this. Make sure you're ending with something encouraging. And you, you don't want to make it, you know, as long as it would be probably if you were in person, less is probably going to be more. Now for some M families it's going to be a text based check in that may be for teens who have busy schedules. If you have a really busy week, if you have kids who are all over the country in different places and nobody can get together at the same. If there's a resistance in your family to talking like this is just a good low entry level, easy space to, to try it out and you can emotionally process because there's lower emotional intensity not having to navigate those facial expressions. And my brain's not on hyper alert thinking why do they look angry? Why do they sound angry? Now you have to be aware that if you're older, that would mean like over 45. I know that's so painful. But sometimes using punctuation can be perceived as aggressive. I mean these are just things we have to be open to and recognize that every, every generation has its own vocabulary. But it also gives you a little time to think before you respond so you don't feel pressured to respond in the moment. So for families still working on building that, that can, can be helpful and also could increase honesty because it's easier to text something than it is to say it. So just that, what's that one intentional question that you ask? Acknowledge every response, even if it's briefly. Thanks for sharing. I hear you. I'm praying for you heart. Their message, something just. But watch out for replacing all connection with text. It should be used as a bridge, not the whole road, for the whole journey. And really the sweet spot, maybe even Be a blended approach for you. So in person when possible, video when apart and text as a consistent check in between those conversations. So it may be that in person is going to really build the depth of your relationship. The video is going to preserve the connection and the text is a good vehicle to maintain consistency and continuity. But all three of them communicate care. I care about my family. So a weekly check in, it's not about, about saying everything. It's not about solving everything. It's just about saying something with regularity. So in a world full of automated reminders, we can choose to intentionally check in with real people. This is a very countercultural act of love and service to your family. It is a rhythm that is essential. And start small, stay consistent. It may be even starting by just having a shared calendar on your fridge, on your counter. It doesn't have to be fancy. It can be a poster board that you buy at the drugstore and just writing down what everybody is doing that week and and maybe how you're praying for everybody. A great way to check in is on this calendar. Leave some sticky notes with prayers for people. Just say, hey, I left a prayer for you on the fridge today. I just pray that God would be with this, family member and this issue. Oh my, my goodness. What amazing way to connect. These simple little rhythms and practices can be adopted over time. It can really, really make a big difference because we have a world that is trying very actively to break family connections as much as possible. It is a world that's saying your family is not trustworthy. Your family is going to hurt you. You are the only person who's going to be there for you and there are harms coming our way. When we come back after this next break, I'm going to share with you some of the home front headlines I've been following this week. We'll talk about. I want to give you a disclaimer for little ears that are going to be around. You may want to adjust your listening audience because I'm going to talk about in a, in a very careful way, but I'll talk about nudifying technology now if you're not aware of that. I have talked about it a little before, but it is something that you need to know about. And I'm going to talk again because I'll keep talking about it. About sextortion that is happening among teen kids and how AI generated child abuse is really a new digital threat that we need to know about. But I'll give you some ways to keep your kids and keep your family safe. We we will be right back after this break with Homefront Headlines, and I'll answer your questions about them. See you in a minute.

 : The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations. You can't use it to change the oil in your vehicle or get rid of carpet stains. It won't break walk the dog, won't pick up the dry cleaning or take the kids to practice. But while you're doing those things, you can listen to your favorite AFR content through the app on your phone, smart device or Roku.

Listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app

Just go to your app store or visit afr.net Listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app.

Still by Crowder and Zach Williams: Still got a couple problems never seem to solve them I keep thinking I'm letting you down still ain't making you proud still why am I trying spinning my wheels up 100 mile hill sliding back down till I'm stuck here in a standstill but oh that's when I remember he's working on me still changing me piece by piece still making me better going to do his thing don't care how long it takes till All I know is I don't care if it's a little cliche to say that I'm a sinner saved by grace 'Cause I need more every day that's why he's working on

Dr. Jessica Peck: me still welcome back friends. That is still by Crowder and what a great message he is working on us day by day. I am just a sinner saved by grace and I don't care if it's cliche to say either I really am, I am learning every day. There are so many things that I am struggling with. My kids would be so happy to line up at the microphone and they would gladly tell you because we have those conversations openly about our struggles and there are things that I struggled with. But thankfully we serve a God who redeems, who restores, who renews, who makes his mercies new every single morning. And that gives us grace to face the day, even days that bring to us headlines that are deeply disturbing. And so that is where we are. I'm m going to tell you about some headlines. I'll tell you about four. Hopefully if I have enough time, I'll try to pace myself. Well here to tell you about four things that you need to know about and I do want to give you another just reminder, adjust your listening audience. I'm going to talk about these things in a very gentle way. But if you have little ears around, it would be time to redirect them. These are things that adults need to know and we, so that we can protect those kids who are listening. I have been following a lot of stories, story after story after story, about nudifying technology. Now probably some of you are thinking, wait, what are you saying? Say it again. Nudify Nude Ify it's N U D I F Y Nudify. It is absolutely unbelievable to me when we think about the new vocabulary that we have to describe new sins that are coming up. Really the heart behind these sins, lust and jealousy and adultery and all of these things are, tales as old as time. These are just new ways to express or engage in this sin. And nudifying technology is an AI tool. This is open source AI, very easy to get. Any kid, kid can access this technology through open source AI, any kid, anywhere, anytime. They're very easily accessible AI tools that digitally undress or sexualize images of real people. Often these are minors without their consent. Now you're probably thinking, okay, say it again, Jessica. It is nudifying technology. This is basically using computer programs to remove people's clothes. Close. Okay, this is what's happening. And we see increasing global coalitions of child protection organizations, many of which I'm a part. They have just this last week they released the no to nudify statement. It's that's what it's called. And basically these tools are taking ordinary photos and generating these images. And these organizations have gotten together and said, nobody needs this. This, no one needs this technology. There is no edifying use that is going to honor the Lord with this technology. And that is my statement for sure. And it is impacting families because we see children's and teens who can now become victims without ever sending an image. These can happen in public photos that you post on your social media that people, even strangers, take off, especially if they are publicly posted. Strangers can take pictures in public. You can take a picture from a school, a school event. I mean, and so parents may falsely assume like, oh, my child would never do this, but it is happening through deep fakes. This is a deep fake, another word that may be new to you, but it is a fake that looks very real, but it's technologically digitally altered. So deep fakes are funny is what kids think. I mean, you may see a coach or a political figure that's using words that they didn't really say, but it looks like they're saying. It's dubbed as maybe a word word that we would use. But kids don't know where that line crosses to where it's funny, to where it stops being funny. How, where is it okay to manipulate these images? Is it okay to make this political figure, this celebrity, this coach, say something that's funny? Why isn't it funny just to take their clothes off? Haha. Uh-huh. They're not really nude. It's just fake. But the emotional impact research is clearly emerging on this. It mirrors real abuse. It doesn't matter if it really happened or not. Kids who experience it still feel shame and fear and isolation and anxiety and a fundamental loss of trust. And it changes the digital risk of landscape that families are navigating. So here's what you can do about it. Talk openly about deep fakes. Talk to your kids about image misuse, about image based abuse. You may even see it abbreviated iba, Image based abuse. Not just image sharing, but digitally altering photos. What are the boundaries that you have in that? How, how do you use apps to alter photos or videos? What, where are your ethical guidelines for that? How do you know what's funny and what's not? What if somebody shares something with you? You didn't create it, you didn't solicit it, you didn't ask for it, but you got it. What are you going to do about it? Teach them to tell a trusted adult immediately when an image of them is altered or shared, or when they see another kid's image altered or shared. I really also encourage families to limit public facing photos. Review the privacy settings on your social media very regular and just be very careful what you post and who you post it to. And if this happens to your kids, just reinforce if this happens, you are not in trouble and you are not alone. We will get through it together.

High school student accused of running allegedly sextortion scheme targeting other minors

Because again, when we look at nudifying technology, it runs into all kinds of other things, like sextortion. I told you I was going to tell you about this. So one of the stories I followed last week, a pole, police arrested a high school student. So this is technically a child. A high school student accused of running allegedly a sextortion scheme targeting other minors. I can tell you, I've seen this happen in my own community, I've seen it happen in my practice. But this particular story, this teen allegedly coerced victims into sending explicit images and then threatened to distribute them unless you give me more. So basically this is getting those images, which kids may actually physically take those images or they may think, you know what, I don't want to do that, but I'm scared not to do that. So I'll just do this nudifying technology. It's not really me nude, it's just, it's just kind of a joke. And that's a way I can give that to them. But then all of a sudden it's, hey, I'm gonna tell the pastor, I'm gonna tell the principal, I'm gonna tell everybody that, you know. Post these on a sextortion, a revenge site. A, revenge porn site. That unless you get me more and family, families will underestimate how quickly coercion can escalate through texting and social platforms. You can go from not knowing this person to a full out waging battle for their life within an hour. It happens quickly. And a lot of times when it happens to kids, they don't want to report it because they're afraid, they're embarrassed. They don't want their parents to find out. They don't want anybody to find out. So we need to talk to our kids about it. The FBI has been issuing this alert. I will continue to lift it myself. Talk to kids about sextortion, what it is. Use age appropriate language, normalize reporting. It is not drama, it is a crime. That is what it is. And encourage kids to pause before responding to that pressure online. If someone threatens you, the right step is to stop, screenshot and tell. Stop, screenshot and tell. Stop, screenshot and tell. I will say that over and over and over again. That is generally going to be the right advice. Advice, stop. No matter how far you've gotten, no matter how embarrassing it may be, continuing on is just going to get you in more and more over your head. And then when kids come to you and talk to you about that, then say, I'm so sorry you experienced this. Don't say, what were you thinking? How could you do that? How could you be so stupid? Those things are not going to be helpful at the moment. Train yourself, think before it happens that if your kid comes to you, the first thing out of your mouth says, I'm so sorry you experienced this. We're going to get through this together. And yes, you may have to have some conversations about appropriate behavior. Yes, there may have to be some consequences. But you, the first thing that you say is, I'm so sorry you experienced this.

Child safety experts are increasingly raising alarms about AI generated child sexual abuse material

Because the third story I'm bringing to you is that AI generated child sexual abuse is the new digital threat that we absolutely need to be thinking about. This came from the organization thorn that I have, that I've been following and child safety experts, me included, are increasingly raising alarms that AI generated child sexual abuse material. You may hear that referred to as csam. Csam, and that is a word that we intentionally use over child pornography because it's more reflective of the abuse that happens for kids. It is rapidly increasing and there are activists out there who are saying, hey, this is a great thing because hey, we're not actually harming kids. But all it does is drive demand. So people who are watching this are not going to be just satisfied with that. They are not going to be satisfied until they abuse a real child and they can be created. Even though they're created potentially without a real abuse event, it's still illegal, it's still harmful, it's still widely trafficked and it deeply fuels demand exploitation ecosystems. This impacts families because it blurs lines for parents trying to understand that digital danger. If it's fake, is it still harm? Yes, it's still harmful. Yes, yes, it's still harmful. And it increases the likelihood that children's likely their likenesses are used without their consent. It's creating new challenges for law enforcement because it happens faster than laws can keep up with it. And sometimes families are harmed. And there's not much you can do about it here. But here is what you can do about it. First of all, stay informed. Don't just know that there are always new emerging tech risks. You can listen here. There's lots of other organizations that you can fall, follow to find out about that. Ask your kids school, ask your kids at church, their staff, what are good organizations to follow. One that I follow is called Enough is Enough. It's about Internet safety for children. That's a great one to follow. There are plenty of others. But start to make sure that you are aware of that this and be an advocate. Speak up. Talk to talk to your school about what happens with this. Many times when I see things like this happen and kids are impacted, the school has no policy for dealing with it, which really limits what they can do. And that's important to say, how is the church going to handle this? How is the school going to handle this if this happens, make sure that you are protecting your kids online. You are adhering to the platform rules. If it's says you shouldn't you, you can't use this unless you're at least 13 and you tell your kid, oh, check the box anyway, it's okay. You may have just voided any legal protection available to you should something bad happen on that platform. That's really important. And most of all we need to teach our kids that their identity in Christ, that is really important. Our faith, our values, they are not siloed from our digital life. They are are deeply integrated in that which is really important. And along with this, I saw the organization Thorne, they announced a new phase of no Filter. Now, this is a youth centered initiative, which is great. Youth centered means kids are part of making it or, creating it and distributing it, which gives them more buy in. And it's focused on digital resilience. Audience. How when something bad happens to us online, because it feels like anything bad can happen, you can be bullied for your outfit, for what you say, for what you do. You. You can be bullied online. Cyber bullying is happening. If you make a mistake and you post something you really wish that you hadn't, you did it without thinking. Your thumb moved faster than the prefrontal cortex in your brain. How do we have resilience? How do we learn about these new things that are coming out and what's okay to use and what's not okay? And how do we create a peer to peer safety culture? We need to create a culture among young people where they are absolutely confident in saying that is not okay. When we see online abuse happening, when we see online bullying happen, happening, we need to teach our kids to confidently step up and say, that is not okay. And I am telling an adult, adult, we need to have them have no shame in that. I also teach my kids, my own kids and every kid I work with to say, if anyone ever asks you, can you keep a secret? You just need to say, no, I cannot. I cannot keep a secret. there may be some things that are confidential, but I cannot promise you that as a child, I will not tell an adult about this. I promised to tell my mom everything. I promised to tell my dad everything. I cannot promise to keep a secret. So be real careful about what you tell me. Me. And this here's the side note about that, that helps protect your kids from predators. Because if a predator is trying to groom your child, one of the first things they're going to ask is, can you keep a secret? Can you keep this secret? Can you keep this between us? No, I cannot. I cannot keep any secrets from my parents. And predators may just move on. And so it. This is so important. This, in this initiative is one of many that emphasizes from Thorn. It emphasizes equipping young people, not just restricting them, not just shaming them. It's how do we navigate these online spaces wisely? Because it is happening. It signals a shift from Fear based Safety. Did you know this could happen to Skills based Empowerment? We need a skills based empowerment for kids. Parents are invited into partnership with youth, not control battles over screen times and phone times. And recognizing team teens as active participants in their safety, not just victims that are going to experience something. So what can you do about it? Well, I encourage you have safety conversations with your teens. Don't talk to them. Don't talk about them. Don't talk down to them. Talk with them. Say, how do you keep yourself safe online?

Talking about safety online can help kids feel more engaged in their safety

When I ask kids this, they usually look at me like I am speaking another language. I don't understand that. What does that mean? But when we start talking about it, they certainly know what it's like to feel unsafe online and that can make them feel more engaged in their safety. Focus on the character and wisdom and discernment, not just the rules. Speak up when something happens to their peers and protecting one another online is an act of love. Listen, the digital world is changing faster than we can keep up, but keep up with us here and we will help you to have the presence and preparation and relationships to talk early, talk often, talk with love. Know they are deeply loved and I pray that you, the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and I'll see you right back here on Monday.

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.