Transcript

Hamilton: God calls believers to be ambassadors even in this dark moment

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Darkness is not an affirmative force. It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: This is the, Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite, delivering people.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Out of the bondage of mainstream media and the philosophies of this world.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: God has called you and me to be his ambassadors. Even in this dark moment. Let's not miss our moment.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And, now the, Hamilton Corner.

Welcome to the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Good evening everybody. Welcome to the Hamilton Corner here on American Family Radio. I am your host, Abraham Hamilton iii, joined by producer extraordinaire, often imitated, never duplicated, the real J. Mac. And listen, if y' all see him out in the wild, y' all had to be careful. You get too close, you might get cut. Cause the boy be sharp, telling you, be careful. Consider yourself warned appropriately. But we are ready to rock and roll with today's edition of the program.

Many of you are making transition from part time jobs to full time jobs

At this very moment, many of you, if not most of you, are making your transition from your part time jobs where you generate an income, to your full time jobs where you cultivate an outcome. And as you do so, I want to remind you to do so with intentionality. Outcome cultivation requires intentional investment. There's no such thing as a bloop, accidental disciple made. Never has it happened, never will it happen. Additionally, disciple making is not something that occurs by osmosis. Never forget the fig tree that the apostle John records in his Gospel. When Jesus cursed the fig tree, the scripture notes particularly that it was a fig tree in leaf. It was a tree in a position where fruit bearing was expected. The reference to it, being in leaf was indicative of the state of the plant because the fig and the leaves tended to appear together. So the external appearance gave a suggestion that fruit should be on the tree. The location of the tree suggested that fruit should be on the tree. But upon closer examination, the tree was found to be fruitless. A critical component in outcome cultivation and disciple making is that we evaluate the quality of the fruit development. It's vitally important that we do so. One of the things is just, it's just something to consider that as we are evaluating our young disciples in our church, and particularly in our own children as well, after they have expressed, made a profession of their faith in Christ, we, examine fruit. We look to see fruit production as. Following that profession, to examine whether or not the profession is consistent with the life profession. And we even say, to our children in particular, that if you profess to be a believer in Jesus Christ, there should be fruit in your life. There should be evidence that regeneration has transpired. And so that is something that we should look for. So as you are making your transition from your part time jobs to your full time jobs, even in this season, there is no such thing as a Christmas season exception to godliness. You know, you say to our children, listen, December doesn't mean that you, have a license to be selfish. I'm even thinking about like in 3rd John, the apostle John mentions a man named Diotrephes. Bring this dude up in your conversations around Christmas at home. What did the Lord say to the Apostle John about the Atrophies? Diotrephes likes to always put himself first. Telling you, here's your reference. Third John, verse 9. Diotrephes is a self promoter. The Atrophies is the don King of the Bible. He's always putting himself first. Bring him up as you get home.

John the Elder says that his children should walk in biblical truth

All right, to the word of God we go. In fact we're going to go to Third John, Third John. The first four verses of John's third epistle. Third canonical epistle, Third John, verses one through four is where we will go, to start the show. All right, Third John, verses one through four. And this is what God's word said, the Elder, meaning John referring to himself as the elder. That dude is something you refer to himself in the gospel as the beloved disciple. And now he's referring to himself, John the Elder. The elder. Y' all know I'm joking. He does describe himself that way. But the way I'm saying it, he said that way, the elder to the beloved Gaius or Gaius, whom I love. In the truth. This is something you'll find throughout John's epistles in particularly and those who were discipled by John, people like Polycarp in church history. As John aged, he, he, is disciplined. The disciple of Christ who lived the longest of Jesus disciples. So he got to see, elder status, seasoned saint status, if you will, where many of the others, were martyred earlier. It's not that they didn't try to martyr John. They tried to boil him in oil, but he just didn't die. But he was known as. He advanced in years to talk about love all the time. The love of Jesus, the love of God, love one another, love over and over and over again. And he says it right here at the beginning of this epistle. The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health. Just as your soul prospers. For I was very glad when brethren came and testified to your truth. That is how you are walking. In truth, I, I have no greater joy than this to hear of my children walking in the truth. Now, John is referring to Gaius here, as one of his children. And it's a, children in the gospel is the reference. Gaius is not John's, biological offspring, but he's describing him as his child in the faith. And John is saying that he has no greater joy than to know that those whom he has labored with, he's evangelized, he poured into, he's discipled, that they are walking in the very truth, that he has poured into them by the grace of God and through the power of the Spirit of God. If you were to ask me if I could distill my goal, my objective. In serving my family and my children in particular, I would direct you to this verse. Because while John is not talking about his biological offspring, you certainly can apply it and should frankly apply it to your biological offspring in addition to those who you have the privilege of discipling. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. You've heard me describe this before. John's usage of the term walking. He's not literally talking about a stroll, a, ah, beachside stroll. He's talking about that his children's lives, their manner of living is characterized by living consistent with biblical truth. This is my primary objective for my children and the reason why I can say it primary. The primary is for them to come to faith in Christ and as a result of having come to faith in Christ, that with every breath and every tick of the clock that God gives them, that they live consistent with the truth of having professed faith in Christ and submit to his lordship in their lives. So that's why I describe it as my primary goal. Because you have the overarching reality of a regeneration being born again and then lives lived consistent with the truth within that context of having been regenerated. This is my primary objective. I am more concerned and committed and invested in this than any other thing concerning my children. Sure. I want them to enjoy their lives.

>> Jeff Chamblee: Sure.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You know, I might let them eat a chocolate every now and again. Sure, I want them to be well adjusted adults. But can I tell you something? Those are not my primary objectives. Those are not my primary motivations. My primary motivation is for them to be able to rejoice with my wife and babe. Our children are walking in the truth. That's my primary motivation. Because it is my primary motivation. My life investment should reflect that. If something is your primary motivation, how much time should you devote to it? How much resources, how many resources should be devoted to it? Where should it fall in terms of familial priority? Many times there are people who might say verbally that they're primary. Yes, amen, that's my primary objective. But if you examine their lives, you're able to look at their lives, you'll see seems like their primary motivation is travel ball. Because look how much time is devoted to travel ball. Look how much many resources are devoted to travel ball. We won't even let gathering with the saints for worship to get in the way of travel ball. We'll adjust the entire family calendar to accommodate travel ball. This is what I often say about the speech and feet conundrum. We want to, and I know every believer knows this should be our primary objective. Should be. There's nobody would say, man, hey. I'm sure for you, your children walking the truth ranks like fourth or fifth on your family's priority list. Nobody, no Christian would say, yeah, amen. No, of course not. But when you look at the lives you know, travel soccer, travel ball. Oh, no, no, no, no. I have no greater joy than to know my child made a perfect ACT score. I have no greater joy than to know my child made a perfect SAT score. I have no greater joy than to know my child pledged in the same fraternity or sorority that I pledged in. Am I saying I didn't just think that I said that out loud? Do I even need to get to these, expressions of devotion? I have no greater joy than to know my child gonna be fly when he step on the campus. I have no greater joy than for my child to have a vast array of sneakers to choose from. Now, again, I'm not just saying what you say. I'm saying what we do, how much time we invest in it, how many resources we devote to it. I can't tell you the number of times I've had conversations with believers. And the end of the conversation will be, man, I need to spend more time in the Bible with my child, amongst believers. I'm not talking about people who are unbelievers. What I'm saying very simply, if this is what we desire, then our life, investment should reflect that.

Ephesians 6:4 says fathers are responsible for parenting their children

I'm going to say something, and I've said this before, and I know it sounds controversial to some people, but you will never find in scripture where the Lord says that parents are commanded to outsource our responsibility to evangelize our children to somebody else. You'll never find that. It doesn't mean other people can't help us. But what the scripture communicates that it is our responsibility as parents. And foremost, it's the responsibility of fathers. Ephesians 6:4 is one of the primary scriptures that articulates this. Malachi 2:15 talks about it. Psalm 127, Psalm 128. We can go. I can go. A ah, whole host of scriptures. But Ephesians 6:4, the command is, fathers, don't exasperate your children. Rather rear them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That is a command. Brothers and sisters, that is not a suggestion. The Scripture communicates that this is an imperative from God that we fathers are ultimately responsible for. Ultimately, this is one of the primary reasons. And I don't live on Mars. I live in the same world that you live in. I know about the, I'm very well aware of the prevalence of brokenness. But this is one of the things I bring up. In the unfortunate circumstances when men will tell me, man, I'm having problems in my marriage. I'm thinking about throwing in the towel. I'll remind them. Have you considered your mandate from God concerning your children? Concerning your children? Have you considered what your selfish decision that you're considering, how that will impact your ability to obey God in this way? My expression in this. Beginning segment has kind of a fine, it's kind of pointed. Because I'm gravely concerned that not enough Christian parents are taking this scripture seriously. Sufficiently seriously. M. We might say we want our children to be Christ followers. We want them to be disciples. But our life investments and our life priorities don't affirm that statement that where other things are deemed as priorities. Hey, why can't I have Christ following and access to, you know, Harvard or whatever? I believe schools to be equally pursued. And I say one of the primary reasons is because God has no rivals. The very moment you put God on the same plane with anything else is the very moment m. You. You have diminished the place that God should have. And what I found is that when you Matthew 6:33, that thing Seek ye first. God's kingdom, his righteousness, very often, if not usually these other things, you know, things that the Gentiles seek will be added. But if you shoot for the things that the Gentiles seek, you very well may secure them. And then find. That that actually became a source for your child to be derailed. I Have no greater joy than this to hear of, my children walking in the truth.

>> Jeff Chamblee: HGTV has changed over the years, and not necessarily for the better. The seemingly wholesome home and Garden television has decided it would be clever and funny to hint at an expletive in the title of one of its newest shows. The alternative spelling is so poor that children can still read it and repeat it. Obviously I won't say it here, but you can go to OneMillion Moms. Com to find out more and urge HGTV to rename the show One Million Moms. Com.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Shining light into the darkness.

Abraham Hamilton III welcomes Maria Hamilton back to American Family Radio

This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner. Abraham Hamilton III here and I'm delighted to have in studio. She's becoming a frequent guest now. None other than my wife, Mrs. Maria Hamilton. Thank you for joining me here on the show.

>> Maria Hamilton: Thank you for having me, babe.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Well, I wanted you to come back because we were really getting into it last week. Then we ran out of time before we ran out of show.

We started a conversation about the distinction between heart transformation and behavioral conformity

This is Federal Clock and the clock is disrespectful. Telling you. And we were, we had began, we started a conversation about the distinction between heart transformation and behavioral conformity. Sometimes as parents, and I guess I'll take a step back. Sometimes. The application of discipline is employed by parents because, well, this is the way my parents did it. This is what I'm aware. Well, I'm not going to tolerate this kind of behavior. And we don't necessarily. What's God's heart concerning discipline and what the objective should be?

>> Maria Hamilton: Right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: All right. From the Scripture. The objective of discipline. Is actually intrinsic in the Word. There's a root word to the word discipline. It is disciple.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Right. So the objective of the application of discipline, it should, as I read in the first segment, I have no greater joy than to know that my children are walking in the truth. The application of discipline should be employed for the purpose of heart transformation, also known as repentance, as opposed to merely limiting that to behavioral conformity. How. Have you experienced that? And before you get to the experience, I would say, how would you articulate the distinction between the two to someone who would ask you.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, so I think it's important that we, understand the character of God and, know His Word and understand what he expects of us. understanding though that it's not just our, efforts alone, but that we respond in obedience. and so I think it's important that we, know that biblically, not just like our idea of God or our understanding of what we've been taught from the pulpit or wherever, but that we know it from Scripture, that we understand his character and we understand what he expects of us in our response to Him. and so then, then the most important thing I would say is that as we are being made disciples, as we are being transformed in our character, as we are growing, like the Bible says, from glory to glory, being more like Christ abandoning, and removing from us any sin, any selfishness, any ungodly character qualities that we would then see that in them as well, that we would impart to them by correcting and modeling and instructing daily, how they are also supposed to be like Christians. Christ. Right. That our goal is to make Christ likeness, the standard and normal normative in our home. Right. but we have to be that first. Like, we have to be disciples first. And then as we are growing, we're never going to arrive at a perfection and then be ready to disciple them, if you will. But as we are being discipled, by the Holy Spirit and convicted and everything of our sins and our mind is being renewed by understanding the Scriptures, then we. We do that with them daily. Right. And from young, right, we can go into practical things later, but young we can start doing that. And contrasting that with just like, we were talking last time about just making sure that the child obeys in my presence or making sure that their behavior is modified to what I prefer is insufficient. Because either outside of us or when they get older and leave, all that's going to be done away with because it was never rooted. It was never. It never had an anchor in the truth. Right. It was just. I just went, in my house, you don't do this or in my house, this is how we operate. But then the communication, even though you don't intend, is for it to just be modified while you're here, while you're. Under the circumstances, you just kind of placate your parents until later on, then you go wild. And then we justify that. You know, we say, oh, it's teenage years or it's adulting or whatever it is, but in reality, the child was never discipled. And so that is a big, contrast. Of course, when they're little, you can do some modification and behavior and teaching, but there has to. At some point, you have to get to the heart of the matter.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah. But even with that early behavioral modification, offerings that are made, it's made in route to something else, correct?

>> Maria Hamilton: Yes.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: There's no satisfaction. There should be. I Should say.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: There should not be, I should say, any satisfaction at the modification of behavior that's not reflected, reflective of a heart transformation.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

It takes disciples of Christ to be disciple makers, right

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Now it's so important what we seek to do, and we'd encourage all believers to do likewise, is to always anchor everything that we engage in in Scripture. And so you mentioned about the reality of being disciples. It takes disciples of Christ, disciples to be disciple makers. You cannot be a disciple maker if you're not a disciple yourself. And Deuteronomy 6 explains that, you know, you shall love the Lord with all that you are, your heart, your mind, your soul. And you shall teach this love of the Lord that you have diligently to your children. It is not either or, however, there is no mandate, no requirement of perfection. I must be perfect in order to be a disciple of. That's not what it says. In fact, Matthew 28 explains that as you go, you are to make disciples.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So we are engaging, especially when we are parents, in making disciples as we are being sanctified. It's not either or, it's both. And so, with, with that in mind, can you kind of, and I don't know if this is an anecdote, if you want to use an anecdote or not. However you want to answer this, can you give an example, kind of a, that will illustrate the distinction between heart transformation and behavior modification?

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. So I got all the stories.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You got all the stories.

>> Maria Hamilton: No, I'm just joking. So, because we have six kids, right? So there's like ample.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: We do. Wait, say that again real slowly.

>> Maria Hamilton: We have ample content, six children, ample fodder. Because every day, right. It's a full time job. So, our oldest son would be described as the rule follower, the easy one. We thought we had it all, you know, under control. We were parenting him and he's obedient, everything. and as he continued, as he grew, you know, we realized that he was, always wanting to make sure that he was following the rules. He was very intentional about. He was very responsible.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Right.

>> Maria Hamilton: Like, he was very intentional about making sure that he understood what was expected of him and he wanted to follow through. And if he didn't, it would be like, you know, catastrophic for him. and then he turned 14, you know, and we love him dearly at 14, but he turned 14 and that's what. It's a critical age. And it's awesome. It's an awesome time also when you start, when they start. And him particularly started wanting to stand on his own, like finding his Footing and wanting to realize and understand what do I believe and how do I live this now. Right? Because it's no longer my formative years of mommy told me what to do, daddy told me what to do, and I did it because it's right to obey your parents. Right? but now it's, I want to live this out and obey my Lord. Right? And so at that point, we had to talk to him a lot about what it looks like to fully surrender to Christ. Because it's one thing to behave in a way that you know is right because you've been taught that it is right. And it's another. And I'm saying this, I'm, giving, using this example not to say that he only got it at 14. He had, he's been developing in this way. But it is critical that we understand that a child that is a rule follower is one thing. A child who is surrendered and in love, and passionately pursuing God and the will of God is the different ballgame. Right? So he was a rule follower. And we could have been pleased and said, you know what? This is such a great son. Look how great we did with him. Like, wow, he obeys all the rules and he's so God. Like, he's going to be such a responsible man and he's going to, you know, he's so intelligent in school, so he's going to get all the, all the good grades and he's going to, you know, get a good job and make all the money and have a stable life. And he's not going to be in the streets or in jail. Okay? I'm not pleased with that alone. Right. Because that we as humans say at times that it is the zenith of what we're trying to produce in our children. But that's not biblically accurate. Right? So what does the Bible say? It says, be imitators of Christ. Be imitators of God. Christ likeness is what I want to see in Him. Not merely, role following because he knows it's right, or pleasing us because he knows what we expect. Taking out the trash because he knows us is chore or even responsibility or intellect. I want him to be passionately pursuing the Lord and to desire, to receive conviction and desire maturity in heart. Right? And so at 14, he started going through, you know, some things, and we were sitting with him and explaining to him, listen. What has happened thus far is that we have, by the spirit of God, laid the foundation for you to understand who God is. Like, we asked him during that time, do you believe that God is like, is there any way you can go and you can refute the fact that God exists? No. He was equipped with apologetics. He knows it, right? But now it was a transition period in his life where he was like, okay, I need to know what. I need to know that what I believe, I can live and I can obey the voice of God, and I can defeat my flesh and crucify it, and I can continue to walk with the Lord. and the enemy was coming for him, you know, and so it was awesome to start seeing. Now we're seeing a lot of that solidifying in him where he is joyfully, daily walking with the Lord, right? Like, where he's intentionally saying, I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm understanding more and more what it means for me to walk with Christ. And we continue to pray because we want that passion to be ignited in all our children. but I just wanted to make that distinction with him, using that example, of rule following, but then a heart capturing. Right where he wants to read the Bible every day now. Yeah, go ahead.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: No, no.

Jeff M. Bennett: When you have a rebellious child, it's difficult

So what you're illustrating and man, I shouldn't have stopped you. You were saying, he wants to read the Bible every day.

>> Maria Hamilton: And because he was, you know, we would say, we would require pretty much, you read the Bible every day. You have your own quiet time with the Lord. And then we have our Bible study together. And he would do it because he's a rule, right? Then we have some children. You know, we can go three and three. We, can go three that are a little bit, you know. And then we got three that are rule followers. So we have some that are like, oh, I forgot. Oh, I don't want to. And I'm like, sir, ma', am, I need you to read your Bible. That. That is, you know, so we kind of. But with him, it was like, yes, ma', am. I read my Bible. I did it, and I, you know, checked off the box. And it's good. And that's. That's good. But that's. That's modifying behavior to do what we've expected of him. But now he wants to read the Bible. Now he goes in and he desires to know what God is saying, you know, and he. And he wants to be intentional about what content he consumes. It's not just, we cannot watch this because Daddy said, no. Now it's put. Turn that off. That's not good. He, like, helps the little ones, right? And he says, that's filth. I don't want to watch that. So I'm saying there's a, there's a transition that you see, that you vividly see when it is just rule following all the way into a self like, conviction for himself. And he wants to do what is glorifying to God.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I think that's an important point that you just illustrated because sometimes we think. Not in textured enough terms and ways because we might think, oh, it's an out white rebel. Or you have the disciple not realizing there could be a circumstance where you have a child who is disposed to rule following even who, because they respect you as parents, they want to be obedient. But that in and of itself is not solely indicative of a heart that's devoted to Christ in personal relationship to him. Is that what you're saying?

>> Maria Hamilton: Yes. Because if you think about it, it's sometimes even easier. It's because it takes a little, I don't want to say less discernment, but it takes, it is more obvious, right. When you have a rebellious child. And we got them. All right, so I can go down the list. we have one that I went to war with this child from 4 to what, like 7, 8 years old? I'm talking about war every day. All right. This child is like me. So we were going at it for.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: The sake, for everybody else to know, of course, because I know you, I know you're talking about. But are you talking about a son? You talking about a daughter?

>> Maria Hamilton: I'm talking about a daughter. Older, Younger. Older daughter.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Older than the son you just talked about earlier?

>> Maria Hamilton: No, no, no, no. The oldest daughter that we have, you know me to name names.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: No, not name names. She's younger, she's younger. Then the 14 year old who's no longer 14.

>> Maria Hamilton: Our son is the oldest, the rule follower. Then our second one, we were like, lord, what have you done? So, our second one needed a lot of help.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Jeff M. Right, clarification.

>> Maria Hamilton: There we go. My bad. Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, all right. I'm getting it together.

There is a drastic difference between a child who is rebellious and one who produces

Okay. So our daughter, who is the oldest daughter but second child, she, you know, is wild in all her ways. And so we were going to war. But here's the thing, here's the thing.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I'm talking about my baby like that.

>> Maria Hamilton: I know, I know. I love her dearly. And she. Guys, I'm telling you, I'm talking about. You're talking about a drastic.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I need to bring them all in.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. A drastic difference between a child who is rebellious to a child who is Producing. There's fruit being produced in her life. Like exhibit A. Exhibit A with this child. Right. And so, But we went to war. It's easy. Well, let me say it differently. It is hard to go to war every day, but it is easy to identify rebellion because it is obvious and clear and exposed. It is. Pick it, pick that up. No, put your clothes away. I don't want to do it. I mean, that's easy. Because clearly the rebellion is like, you know, there. Well, the rule follower. The rebellion is not as exposed, but you start seeing it when they don't want to defeat that flesh and crucify it. Right. So I'm just, explaining that difference. But yes. No, we've had them all. We have them all. Right. When you have a lot of kids, you got, got, you know, all of them. So anyways, to your point. Yeah. With the harder child or the strong willed child, it is incredibly important that we do the same thing that we don't just rely on. Okay, I'm going to do what you say because I don't want to be punished. When you grow them to the place where it is a heart conviction, it is a decision that they have made because the Holy Spirit has pricked their hearts and they desire to glorify God. And then you will see fruit beyond. Because let me tell you, when we were going to war, I was like, abe, I don't see any fruit. What am I doing? Like, am I wasting my time? Am I doing it wrong? And you second guess and you question all that. But then you get to a point where you're like, okay, the Holy Spirit is at work here.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Man.

Hamilton: It's vitally important for husbands and wives to develop unified vision

The question that immediately comes to my mind then is, you know, we have, like you said, we have six children sometimes as parents. And I guess. Let me zoom out a little bit. I think it's vitally important for husbands and wives to develop a unified vision concerning their investment and engagement. Investment into their children and engagement with their children, but also this additional component. So if you have a scenario where you have multiple children. Sometimes parents can fall into a pattern of rinsing and repeating. So you have one child and you do it this way and then you do the exact same thing with the next child. But sometimes that can be frustrating because the next child isn't necessarily identical to the previous child. Yeah, kind of a one size fits all approach.

>> Maria Hamilton: Right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: What would you say if someone, you came across or learned someone was kind of employing a one size fits all approach? Was starting to have some challenges in that regard?

>> Maria Hamilton: well, I mean, first of all, let me just say that we only got one minute. That's real quick.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Wait, wait, wait. You don't have to be quick. The music is disrespectful. Maybe give an introductory comment and then we'll come back.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, well, I was going to say very briefly, quickly that we don't come. We're not trying to say that we know all things. but we do go back to scripture and how does God parent us and how do we then therefore parent our children?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That's really good. You're listening to the Hamilton Corner or watching. And today you have a special treat because I hope you all enjoyed as much as I do. I love being able to spend time with my wife. We're, having a conversation about the reality that heart transformation is what we're looking for, not merely behavior modification and conforming to behavioral changes. What we're looking for is contrition at the heart level. And it is when our children are made disciples themselves that they have the wherewithal to be salt and light in this dark and dying world. Stay with us. We'll be right back.

>> Jeff Chamblee: The God who speaks.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And of course, he went beyond even the Old Testament law in the Sermon on the Mount, saying, you've heard it said, you shall not commit adultery.

>> Jeff Chamblee: I will tell you that if you've.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Lusted in your heart, you have already committed adultery.

>> Jeff Chamblee: And then I realized something. I can't believe less than Jesus believed. And he had absolute confidence in the Old Testament. The God who [email protected].

>> Abraham Hamilton III: The Hamilton Corner podcast and one minute commentaries are available at afr.net back to the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner with Abraham and Maria Hamilton

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner. Abraham Hamilton authority third along with Mrs. Maria Hamilton. I put that Mrs. On there. You saw that, huh?

>> Maria Hamilton: Hey, put some respect on that name.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Some respect, some spec on it. we're having a conversation and my wife said this earlier and I just want to reiterate it. Guys, we're not, I'm, I'm, I'm not here like Dr. Spock, 15 ways to be successful. Nah, man, we, we are co. Belligerence in the faith. We are Christ followers. you know, we're just, you know, hungry people who found bread and trying to say, man, listen, there's some bread over here if you're hungry. Here's some bread over here. because we're still in the throes. You're not standing here polished, man. Our children still in our house. Our oldest is now, he's 15 we got a soon to be 4 year old, we still got dirty diapers. We're dealing with in some instances, man, I'm just, we're in the trenches with you is what I'm saying and simply want to offer encouragement, as a, as a co. Belligerent in endeavoring to invest in the multi generational commitment to rear Christ followers in this, this quagmire of society. That is, that is, that is dark. That's, that's the, that's the heart that we're coming, coming at this with.

The only way we can ever know how to parent the right way is if we obey Scriptures

But I asked the question of you babe, before we went to the break about the reality because sometimes we can get in these modes again. My, my, this is how my dad and mom did it. This is how we did it. We or we had one child and it went this way. And you try the exact same thing with another child. And sometimes because children are different, they're not all the same. The one size fits all approach sometimes really just puts us in a position to be frustrated and we may not understand why. And you started by answering, consider how God, the heavenly Father interacts with all of his children in different ways and their learning styles and communication styles and all of those different things. And I asked you, what would you say to a person who kind of had a one size fits all, had a one size fits all approach to parenting, but kind of hit a wall in frustration.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. So I mean, because when the scriptures say, in Ephesians 5, it says, Therefore be imitators of God, as their children. As their children. Right. And because remember the same model we talked about last time? The student will become like his teacher.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So that's what Jesus said.

>> Maria Hamilton: The only way we can ever know how to parent the right way is if we understand how God parents and that we obey the Scriptures as clear as it's said. I mean, it is simple. Therefore be imitators of God as your children.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And let me just, qualify. The right way is not saying this is the method. The right way is the most effective way to invest. And by God's grace and his sovereign grace that he reaps the harvest that we're attempting to invest in, which is 3 John 4, having no greater joy than our children are walking in the truth. And I've said this numerous times, what we're talking about is not a guarantee for this result. It's not, it's not. You put a quarter and then you get a Coke at the vending machine. It is what is foremost required of a servant that he be Found faithful. So it is us getting clarity from God's word as to what our investment should be. And we trust him with the results. And the reality is that when we go God's way, God's results are far more likely than, than if we go contrary to God's way, yet hoping for God's results.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, and I mean, we tell the kids all the time, right. They listen to VeggieTales. God's way is the best way. So that's really what it is.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So when that's old school veggietales.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Oh, I know Field and field and went off field and field and turned to Kern.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, yeah, but, no, but it's, it's, that's really where we are getting this from. It's how does God parent us? God knows us. He gave us a unique fingerprint. He knows us, the depth of who we are. So I mean, he knows us better than we know ourselves. Right. He knows he can examine the heart. So he knows us, since he knows us, he's our Creator. And then he knows us. then he knows what we need when we need it, how we need it, when the revelation needs to come, when, to apply pressure, to prune, when to reveal all the things that we need to grow to be more like Christ. He knows. Can we know our children to the same level and capacity? No, we don't have that. We're not Creator God.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: We're not divine.

>> Maria Hamilton: We're not divine. But are we instructed by God to know our children the best that we can? Yes. And every single child is different. Every single child. Even though we can group them in, like strong willed versus, you know, rule followers, there are unique things that God put in each child for his glory. And so God desires that we.

>> Maria Hamilton: Envision our responsibility fully and understand that it is indeed a full time job. It'll take time. It takes time to, know our children. And so that's one of the primary reasons why we disciple at home. Like, I need to know who this child is, how he reacts under pressure, how he reacts in joy, how he reacts in easy times and hard times. What is it that he's bent toward? Like, what is it that's in there? seeing this sinful nature, it, takes time. So when we examine that, and then we also seek God's wisdom and insight as to who this child is, what is the direction we need to point him in? Of course, generally speaking, scripturally, you know, like with the foundational understandings of Being like Christ, but then uniquely to that child. Right. and so the more we know them, the better we can parent them. Right. So when we. I can. And we've said this, you know, people say, well, you're being unfair if you say yes to one and no to the other. I'm sorry, but I have to say no to one and no to the other based on the child and based on the other. Thank you. You said it. Right. Okay. Based on who the child is and based on the wisdom God has given. Right. If I have a child who is a rule follower and the enemy comes in and wants to have him or her lean toward legalism, I have to address that differently than if I have a child that's like, where's the rule? I don't care. Is there a rule? I don't even know. And then crosses the line. Right. Like, we have to parent them differently. Right. I can't say no. A, blanket. And it's easier, right?

There's no manual for parenting; God's holy word is sufficient

It's easier to parent one size fits all. That's the bottom line. It's easier to say, don't do that. And that's what we don't do that. And then you just kind of. You just go and watch YouTube in your room. You have to parent actively and intentionally.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It seems easier in the moment.

>> Maria Hamilton: Oh, it's so detrimental.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Ultimately, man. And I'm thinking several different things. Like one of the things that's coming out from what you're saying, and I hear this so often, there's. There's no. There's no manual for parenting. And I was like, I know what people mean when they say that. But. But when the word of God says. That God's word is sufficient pertain to all things concerning life and godliness, that all includes parenting.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I would argue that the greatest manual, if there is, if you will, for parenting is God's holy word. But we have to seek him in his Word for its application. And in addition to that, what you're illustrating, like, having different children, like, if there's one child who is a rule follower, they have the potential to lean towards legalism. Then you have another child who is a what? There is no line. That they need a more rigid structure, if you will, because the objective is for them to know Christ.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And for those who are born again, who've made a profession of faith for them to walk in the newness of life that a Christ follower walks in. One of the things that came to mind in having kind of that distinction, that would Interrupt the pension for a one size fits all approach. Even with sharing the gospel, you know, there's an often attitude that you give the law to the proud and you communicates God's grace to the humble. Right. They're different people, but they're different things that they need that will respond to them, to those who are proud in and of themselves. Well, they need the law.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Because sometimes those who are self satisfied, it's like you have to get them lost in order for them to be saved. They have to, they have to become made aware of the depth of their depravity in order to recognize, oh man, God's free gift is tremendous. Then conversely, a person who is humble, they are, they are patently aware of man. I've made a wreck of my life. I've made a mess of my life. Those people may require to be introduced to God's grace to recognize that even in all your wrecks, God causes all things for those who love him, for those who love him and according to his purpose, even the stuff that you call a wreck, God can make a masterpiece out of that. And it's the different. Why do we think that wouldn't apply to parenting?

>> Maria Hamilton: That's right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: The same type of understanding.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And a part of the parental investment is that simply put, it's not about us. it's not about what we're more comfortable with, it's not about what we're more familiar with. Who is this image bearer who has his own fingerprint, his own unique DNA that God has brought to the world through us, or in some instances, if we've adopted or whatever. Who is this unique image bearer? We also have instructions in a different way. For example, like husbands to wives. Husbands dwell with your wives. That's not all it says.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Husbands dwell with your wives in an understanding manner. Which requires me as a husband to be a student of who this wife is. God. God is entrusted to me so that I can serve her in the capacity that God has called me to. The same thing applies to our children.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, yeah. No, it's the same thing and the same thing from my end. When the Bible says respect your husbands or submit to your husbands, I know my prayer early on, not having been had the marriage biblical marriage modeled before me was, lord, help me to be the wife that Abe needs me to be, because I have to be. I am special for you and likewise you are special for me. So who are you? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? How do I help you be the man, that God has called you to be. That is my role. I own it. But I have to know you. I have to know you individually and specifically. And so God does that with us and so we must do that with our children. I mean, when we are at home and we are dealing with their sin, Right. When things, when they start fighting, for example, or silly things that they do or you know, let me be clear.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Some people from the block, like me, when you say fighting, they think, okay.

>> Maria Hamilton: Let me fist bring it to the suburbs.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Here's the truth. When you say the word fighting to me, I literally think somebody is throwing, hitting someone.

>> Maria Hamilton: I mean that has happened too. Let's keep it real.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah, maybe not punches, but slaps. Oh yeah, maybe a punch or two.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, I'll say.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: But in a verbal disagreement is an argument. Okay, so all right, just be. Jeff is not, it seems like. Yeah.

>> Maria Hamilton: Ok. So more often than not it's arguing.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: But my wife says she don't mean blows being thrown, man.

>> Maria Hamilton: I'm talking they being mean to each other. Right? Okay, so that's suburbia. Sorry, I'm from the suburbs.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So she ain't from the block.

>> Maria Hamilton: No, I'm not.

We got to bring them back to scripture because sin will destroy you

No, I'm not.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So anyways, from the block.

>> Maria Hamilton: No, please, no. so anyways, but they're arguing and they're, you know, being selfish and ugly to each other and, and we got to bring them back to scripture. No, no coarse jesting. No silly jesting. Like what are we doing? We're imitators of Christ.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Soft answer, turns away red answers of anger.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yes.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Consider others before yourself. All of these things.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's right. And we say that is sin.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yes.

>> Maria Hamilton: So. So we are not belittling them as human beings. Right. We're not devaluing them so they can have low self esteem about who they are. No. But we are highlighting that that that is coming out of your heart right now is sinful. And sin will destroy you not. Maybe not if not once upon it will destroy you. So we got to eliminate that. You should want to eliminate it. I want to eliminate it. God wants to eliminate it. So let's work toward eliminating that sin that says mine. Right? That sin that says I want to do it and I don't care about you, that is sinful. So it's not just applying rules. It is examining the heart, dissecting it and saying, hey, join me, join me as I parent you in, eliminating sin from your heart because it will destroy you. And when our kids buy into the reality because it's True. It's not they buying into it because it's common in our home. It's because it's true. They buy into the fact that sin destroys them. And God provides a way of escape. And God provides a way out. And God provides salvation and sanctification. They will live it because they are owning it. They know sin will destroy me. And with this a process. Right, But I'm saying that they understand it mentally.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah, let's talk through that a little bit, man. We'll have a few minutes. disrespectful.

How do we as parents deal with disobedience when children are born again

Let's talk a little bit about that. When an instance arises, if an antidote comes to your mind, we could use that to illustrate this. How do we as parents, when an instance arises, you're talking about arguments initially. How do we plum plunge to the depth of highlighting the fact that this is sinful conduct, not merely bad conduct. And secondarily, how do we navigate the distinction? Because before the children are saved, the fact that something is sinful may not resonate with them to the same degree. But once they are born again, having something being presented to them that's sinful, how is that response thereafter?

>> Maria Hamilton: So. So when we. I mean, we've had. We've had experiences. So when we have a child, and we can use our middle one, right? We can use our middle one. he's a joy. but I go to war with him too. Yes.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That's not his name.

>> Maria Hamilton: Lord, we pray for him daily. I mean, we follow him daily. But, you know, anyways. But with him, we've had moments where he does not want to do right, because he's strong willed and he wants to please himself. And so there was one time where we gave him a rule and we said, you are not to purchase a video game. You are not to purchase a video game without our permission. Which is like, duh, Right? Really quickly. I know, I'm so. I'm gonna go quick. He ended up buying the Daggone game. And I could not believe it. I was like, no, he did not just cross that line that boldly. Right? We figured it out, boy. We brought them in that closet, right? We roll out the belt.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: we displayed our love very much.

>> Maria Hamilton: We loved him very much.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And by the way, the scripture said, it doesn't say spare the right said, he who spares a rod hates his child.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yes, Lord. So, but quickly, my point in saying that I can't answer your question as elaborately as I would want to, but at the end of the day, what we had to show him. And I'm talking about going back to his room and opening the Bible. We whipped him, and then we went back to his room, and we opened the Scriptures and we brought him to a clear understanding. And I believe it was Romans, but a clear understanding of sin and what it does. And so a blatant, deceptive disobedience is not only like, oh, you hurt me, or even you hurt God. It is this behavior will. Will. Will end your life. Like, this behavior will destroy you. And so he was convicted, and he cried, and we walked him through several days of, like, understanding repentance, understanding forgiveness, being forgiven, being restored. But there had to be a level of depth that we got to with him where he understood again. There's still, you know, more to go. But at that point, he understood, oh, my gosh, what I have done will destroy me so much. It wasn't just like, oh, yeah, I get the game now, right? Or I get punished. No, it was, oh, God, you know, so it.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah, yeah. And the. The concept of a. The. The. The. The influence and the effects of sin on us is a critical component. but it also. We direct him to the heart of God and explaining all of this. I'm so upset that I asked that question so late in the show because the music is so disrespectful. But at the end of the program, I guess I must bring you back, again, Jeff getting tired of seeing you in the studio. He told me. He didn't say that. He didn't say that. Thank you all for tuning into the show. Y' all have a wonderful evening.

>> Maria Hamilton: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.