Jenna Ellis: Rights that our founders recognize come from God our creator
Jenna Ellis in the morning on American Family Radio. I love talking about the things of God. Because of truth and the biblical worldview, the U.S. constitution obligates our government to preserve and protect. The rights that our founders recognize come from God our creator, not our government. I believe that scripture in the Bible is very clear that God is the one that raised up each of you and God has allowed us to be brought here to this specific moment in time. This is Jenna Ellis in the morning.
Jenna Ellis: Good morning.
Happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful fathers who are listening
Well, happy Friday before Father's Day and happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful fathers who are listening. And I know that if you are not a father like me, you are appreciating and celebrating your father hopefully, even you know, regardless of whether you have a good relationship or perhaps a strained relationship or even an unknown relationship with your father, fathers are given by God and hopefully they have been a good influence in our lives and pointed us to our heavenly Father who is the ultimate father and the ultimate picture of what fathers should be. I'm very grateful for my dad who has been the most faithful and just solid influence in my Life. I'm turning 42 this year and he's still continues to be a very wise mentor and presence in my life that I would absolutely not be the same person without, his love, his wisdom, his discipleship and you know, everything that he has done for me and my family over the years. just stewarding and being a great example of what a faithful husband to first and foremost, ah, to my mom, his wife and then faithful father to me and my two brothers. And so I give the Lord thanks for that example. And another great example, is my dear friend Alex McFarland who wrote a fantastic piece in Town hall, that I want to talk about this morning that's titled Masculinity Without Virtue and Sacrifice. And you know this kind of gets into the modern crisis of manhood and how you know, we're not even allowed according to some to say the term father. It's like the non birthing human maybe or like, or person or you know we're even allowed to say person and human anymore. I mean it's beyond so absurd. But the culture has for a long time, even before this sort of post, post truth, on, on gender and questions of human sexuality, that for a long time the culture has degraded and demeaned the positional authority that the Bible specifically gives to men in three, in the three institutions but specifically the two institutions that he has ordained of the church and the family, and has consistently withered that away to the point that men either are betas, that we call them. They don't have, sort of any, measurable testosterone. They don't want to be the leaders, the providers, you know, understanding all of that, or they, they kind of swing the opposite way, like the Andrew Tate, kinds of the world that will. In order to have masculinity, you just have to, subjugate women. You got to go after what you want. You have to be almost this bully, sort of a man's man, the brawler. And neither of those two extremes are actually the biblical example of, of what masculinity should look like. And, and that, I think ties into a bigger issue that I've been talking about for a while, which is the definition of the family. Because if you remove the man as the head of the church and then also importantly the head of the family and what that actually looks like to be a servant provider, to be a leader and that masculinity that is necessary to shepherd the family, then you get off track into feminism, into, you know, all kinds of things that don't actually resemble what the family unit, is supposed to look like and how God ordained it in Genesis.
Alex McFarland writes an opinion piece about manhood and masculinity
So, with that kind of lengthy introduction, let's welcome in, Alex McFarland. and this is such a great untimely opinion piece in town hall. And let's, let's kind of just go through it and unpack it. Alex.
Alex McFarland: Well, Jenna, thanks for having me. I have such respect for the work that you do, and I appreciate you very much allowing me to, be on. You know, I've been very blessed to, write a lot of op EDS over the years when, you know, the Lord kind of motivates, me to speak on a subject. And so over the last several months, I've been seeing this word more and more, the word manosphere. And, I just felt led to write an article. But, Jenna, it's probably this may be the article that gets more response than anything I've ever written, like, ever. I mean, dozens of interviews are coming in and, thank you for being like, probably the first or the second media outlet to, ask me to speak on this. But, we have a crisis of manhood and masculinity and we need, we need with God's help, to recover biblical manhood in our culture.
The manosphere is a reaction against cultural contempt for men
Jenna Ellis: Yeah, and let's talk about that first, because if we're talking about the problem, I think we first have to talk about what, the ideal is. And it's not just the ideal in terms of the perception and the, you know, the cute postage stamp and the Norman Rockwell paintings, but what is the actual biblical view of what manhood and masculinity should look like?
Alex McFarland: Well, for the majority of Christian Western civilization, manhood. And by the way, everything I'm about to say really emerges from scriptural passages. But manhood was tied, to duty and sacrifice and courage and, and self control. being a moral example, a man, manhood, he was true to his wife, he loved his family. He would lay down his life for his family, his bride and his children. And he honored God and he carried himself with humility and composure. And, you know, that's really kind of been mocked in, in recent years. 50 years ago, the feminist movement in America, you know, emerged. Jenna, I'm, I'm old enough to remember, like, at, at the mall, they would sell posters that said, you know, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And there would be like some funny, you know, caricature. and men just were. It became popular to, you know, posit that men were just unnecessary. And not all, but, you know, in many, quarters, men, Well, I'm just going to say it. There were sperm donors and pay the bills, you know, but otherwise, men were a problem. Men were a bother. And so a lot of males have felt alienation and disrespect. And if you tell somebody long enough that they're unnecessary and unneeded, they'll go elsewhere and do other things. So, in a way, the manosphere is somewhat understandable, but it's a reaction and a rebellion against cultural contempt for men. And the woke left has, had this mantra of toxic masculinity. And so it's almost as if they're, they're men. They're saying, okay, you think I'm toxic? well, watch this. And so there, there's, there are YouTube channels where men just speak about their contempt for women and they'll, do what, what they can to, you know, make fun and denigrate women. it's almost, you know, hyper promiscuity. You know, use and degrade women, you know, have sex and then, you know, disappear. And neither of those, I mean, is healthy. My goodness. It's unhealthy for individuals. It's toxic for our society. We need to understand. And there's so much I can say about the happiness, the value, the fulfillment, not to mention health, longevity and prosperity of committed marriage and family relationships. So the vacuum created by radical feminism, radical egalitarianism, just this woke up culture that says family doesn't matter, gender is fluid and masculinity is problem. It's created just a perfect storm of things detrimental to people and society.
What does the Bible require from men? And everything that you described
And in my article and in all of my speaking, and I'll mention that again in a moment, but you know, I'm calling young men to experience what God designed for our good and blessing. And that's biblical manhood.
Jenna Ellis: And you know, it's such an important contrast to say, okay, what does, the Bible require from men? And everything that you described, virtue, sacrifice, covenantal responsibility, headship of family, I mean, all of these things, those are character qualities. the Bible doesn't require men to be wealthy, to have status, to you know, marry the hot girl, to, you know, I mean, all of these things that are status symbols or what men chase after, that the world is telling them to chase after, that's not, any part of what the Bible requires of masculinity. And obviously the same thing can be said about femininity. And you know, we've talked on the show a lot about femininity and the biblical woman and all of that, so I'm not discounting, that at all. But we're focused on men for this particular conversation.
Alex Knows argues that the new manosphere addresses real male frustrations
And so in your article, Alex, you argue that this new manosphere, and I want to ask you to define that in a moment. That, that, that whole category of influencers and you know, the secular response basically does actually address real male frustrations that you also mentioned like loneliness, purposelessness, declining marriage, confusion about their identity, being mocked, being told they're not needed, you know, all of those things. But the manosphere is not identifying the correct biblical solution and encouraging men to rise up again and, and be men. instead the manosphere is encouraging them along other lines.
Alex McFarland: Yeah, you know, one man, I identify that very frustrated, he said, in my family, he said, I'm an ATM that gets yelled at. In other words, the value and the presence of the man is just to provide money to be that, you know, cash dispenser when needed, but otherwise, you know, stay out of my life. So there, there's a lot of grievance, and there's just this assumption that there's a bias against men. And you know, by the way, a mutual friend and colleague, that is just one of the greatest Voices in the World is a guy named Dr. Gary Chapman. And he wrote a fantastic book called the Five Love Languages. And Dr. Chapman we've interviewed many times, and you know, he basically says that, men and women have an emotional, you know, love language that will most bring fulfillment and joy even. And when you know your spouse's or your children's love language and you intentionally speak to that, it keeps them emotionally and psychologically fulfilled. And he said, you know, for men, almost overwhelmingly, the number one thing that a man craves is respectful. And you know, with, you know, five decades plus of feminism, men in our culture, and maybe even even in some Christian families too, Jenna, men feel very disrespected. They do not feel valued. And the manosphere is, you know, men acting out on this. By the way, Dr. Chapman, has said that, you know, having employed the love languages concept since, the late 1960s, he said he believes virtually every marri could be saved. If you know your partner's love language and you speak to it. And you know, for most women, the love language, would be quality time together or acts of service. That's another show. Perhaps. But, you know, if men are strong and do male things, like I document in the article how in, you know, school, beginning in kindergarten, even when men do this, when, when little boys do the things that little boys do, like they're competitive and rough and tumble and you know, they're. They're, you know, masculine little boys, you know, that's you know, discouraged. And rather than, in. Even in, you know, childhood sports, more and more, rather than having winners and therefore losers, there's just, you know, you play and nobody wins. everybody gets a participation trophy. And that, that really has squelched, some of the things that are really bring out greatness as boys grow into men. By the way, Jenna, I don't know if you know this, maybe you do, but in the last 20 to 25 years, the number of men that earn bachelor, master or doctorates has radically plummeted. Right now, women, earn 60% of all the undergrad bachelor degrees. women earn 64% of all master's degrees. And right now women are earning, 60% of all the doctoral and professional degrees. So among attorneys, among medical professionals, the number of men even entering those professions decreasing. And you know, thank God for the, you know, accomplished women that are taking leadership positions in our culture. But we need to raise boys who, are goal setters and achievers and yes, are competitive and want to find their niche and be the best that they can be. So this, you know, suppression of natural masculine competitive strength instincts, it's beginning to, you know, bear some very, negative repercussions for our culture at large.
Jenna Ellis: Yeah. And, you know, you mentioned, Alex, how, the. The response for men is, you, know, to all of this is, just, you know, kind of acting out on this kind of manosphere. And you know, what I see on a lot of the Instagram reels and social media and all of that, from the female side, because obviously, you know, the algorithm is. Knows. Knows me and you know, knows that I'm, I'm a single woman and you know, pushes different, different products and different reels and things like that. and, and a lot of what, what I see and, and what I've done also in actively going out and seeking how women are responding to a lot of this, that I honestly, as a single woman resonate with is that, it kind of boils down to this. For the first time in modern. In modern history, throughout world history, right? For the first time, women have their own careers. We should have ministries full time if we're still single, like I do. but, you know, for the first time, women have their own money, their means, and they're not necessarily looking for a man to sign contracts, close houses, provide, you know, all of those things. They're looking to date, get married, respect a man based pretty much solely on character, and that's failing. And, and I think, you know, kind of the. It's a cyclical thing, like which came first, the, the lack of respect or the lack of character. you know, and I think that the overall point is that men, regardless of whether women respect them, should. Should achieve the. The biblical character that God requires of them anyway. And women, if they are married, should respect and love their husbands as God commands, you know, regardless of. Of whether they think that there's some improvement that could be done. But then, you know, for the single woman like me, I mean, I'm looking out there and going, there aren't any real men left. I mean, you know, of. Of the men that I've dated, which very few even get to the point of dating, is they automatically disqualified themselves on other reasons. But of the few, you know, it doesn't seem like any of them really understood what it meant to be a family man biblically. And that was the key reason that manifested itself in other ways, but. Or, various ways, you know, person to person. But, that was the, the main bottom line reason why I just said, you know, I, I don't think that we would be equally yoked. And so I ultimately didn't marry the person I was dating. so, you know, that, that I think is a, is a huge problem that, that women now are choosing basically to just opt out and men are saying, well, fine. And we're left then with even more loneliness, purposelessness and declining marriage.
Alex McFarland: You know, this is fascinating to talk about it. It really is. And, let me say the thing about men. many men, and in a way, this is a kind of pragmatism. They look at almost anything with a cost benefit analysis. it is a fantastic thing. And Jenna, I say this having been in ministry for three decades, in fact, right now I'm in Montana. I just moments ago was in front of 130 high school and college age young people that are hungry, I mean, hungry for truth and really hungry for practical, you know, implementable things about building a future and building a family. And so, God and family, I mean, having a relationship with Jesus, having a relationship with a spouse and children, this is what life is all about, really. And men, when they are encouraged in the right ways, they will rise to the challenge. They really will. But from a cost benefit analysis, here's where a lot of young adult males and not so young adult males have, have gone in their reasoning. They're like, look, if I'm moral, if I provide, but it doesn't get me the respect I crave, why bother? And I'm talking, Jenna. I've counseled Christian families that were imploding. And men are like, I've been true to my spouse. I've worked hard, I've paid the bills, I've tried to take him to church. you know, I've tried to be the exemplar. And yet my wife still doesn't respect me. My wife is, you know, spends time online. if I can pour myself out for all the things and in the marketplace, in society, and even at home, I'm just a stupid guy to be disrespected and kicked to the curb. Why bother? Now? Listen, we all should do right and live right because it's right to do right. But everybody wants to feel valued, everybody wants to feel respected. Matthew 25, by the way, you know, when we give a cup of cold water in Jesus name, it's as if we've done it for the Lord.
Jenna Ellis: Spouses and women try to love their man
And I want to say to everybody out there, especially the frustrated Spouses try to love your spouse and women try to love your man. As unto m Christ. I've had women say to me, well, my husband isn't respectable. He doesn't pick up his clothes off the floor. I come home and he hasn't, you know, started dinner like I asked him to or whatever. The thing about human nature, and this is where it really takes the Holy Spirit to help us very often, things become self fulfilling prophecies. If you don't show the respect, then he's not going to rise up and be respectable. If you don't prime the pump with grace and love and patience.
Jenna Ellis: And we gotta take a break here, Alex. And I'm sorry to Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. We're gonna, we're gonna continue this conversation on the flip side. We'll be right back with more here on Jenna Ellis in the Morning.
Jenna Ellis and Alex McFarland discuss decline of biblical masculinity
Alex McFarland: Welcome back to Jenna Ellis in the Morning on American Family Radio.
Jenna Ellis: Welcome back. And I'm here with my Special guest Alex McFarland, ahead of Father's Day and happy Father's Day to all of the fathers out there, who are part of the AFR family and who are listening. And we're talking about the unfortunate decline of biblical masculinity and the role that that society has played in this by degrading and defaming, the biblical man, quite frankly. And and Alex, as we were going to break, you were saying that you know, really great wisdom and my mom, who's a biblical counselor and she counsels a lot of you know, marriage and family issues, from a biblical perspective, you are saying like she does that you know, if you're in a, in a marriage or you know, in any, any type of relationship, you know, but especially the marriage covenant, instead of saying, well, if only my spouse would do XYZ first, then I could respect, then I could love, then I could start doing. It is incumbent upon us individually to say, what does God want from me? What does God require of me? And do that regardless of what your spouse or in other contexts, maybe your parents or your children or you know, whomever, your roommate, you know, whatever it is, whatever relationship you're navigating, ah, do what you are required before the Lord. And amazingly often that initial faithfulness to the Lord then begets the good consequence of having the person that you're struggling with in that relationship see that effort and they ultimately respond positively. Anyway, so it's, it's this kind of idea to Say, you know, we. We aren't dependent on others, other humans or our own life's conditions for our accountability and our responsibility for our character before the Lord.
Alex McFarland: Yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, we all have, emotional and psychological and spiritual needs. And, you know, in marriage, you know, sometimes one or both partners are not feeling that their needs are being met. But, the answer is not to belittle or degrade or to withdraw. the answer is with God's help, you know, prayer and, commitment and consistency. Stay in there and stick it out and be committed. And, I want to get back to the state of men, but let me just say that, it's not surprising that Satan would attack marriages, families, because marriage, Christian marriage, is the greatest vehicle for sanctification and growth. you know, Jenna, the longer I've lived and the more that I've researched, work with people and just live life myself, the institution of family, it was just genius on God's part, obviously. So, because it's God that was, you know, the creator of the human race, marriage and family, and Satan has attacked the family, and there are definitely consequences. and the couples that have worked through the rocky seasons and leaned into the Lord, and God has given them the grace and the strength and the wisdom and the perseverance to get through the crucible of life's experiences, shall we say? when you emerge on the other side, you've learned more about the faithfulness of God, the value of resilience and commitment. And so, you know, the family in the Western world has taken a lot of hits in recent years. And this, this article I, I wrote about the manosphere is not only how, you know, it's kind of a reaction of males that feel frustrated and belittled.
Alex: Men are asking me how to find a godly woman
let me talk about this. Earlier in the segment, you were talking about how women, you know, now, have their own, you know, sources of income. And, you know, it's not like women are as dependent on men as they have been in previous, you know, periods of history. But. And you're absolutely right, you know, wise women that are looking for a mate, they're looking for character, and they're looking. And I, I tell the young men, Jenna, it's. It's fascinating, in all of our hundreds of camps, conferences, sessions, you know, men aren't asking me the questions of 20 years ago, like, you know, what happened to the biblical manuscripts? You know, does history and archaeology prove the Bible? Yes. Men are asking me, how do I find a godly woman? How do I know how do I know? there's Alex. How can I know God's will for the spouse that I am praying to have one day? This is great. This is wonderful.
Alex Martin: Feminism has belittled men, the secular world has
But, you know, you mentioned the women that are looking for men of character on the other side. Let me talk about feminism that has belittled men, the secular world that has almost. They've relished tearing men down. If a guy is not six feet tall, he's not worth investing in. And it was a Beyonce song ten years ago, that talked about slaying. S L A Y I N G. What does it mean to slay? Well, you know, actually that's a term that came out of the gay community originally. But there are so many videos and social media reels, where girls, you know, laugh, and they love to, like, make a guy think he has a chance and then publicly humiliate and trash this guy. Slaying, you know, it's like one of the highest, you know, trophies is to publicly humiliate and tear down some guy after having, you know, you've led him on, making him think he has a chance. And the idea I write about in the article that, you know, men and women should be perpetual adversaries and the winner is the one who has destroyed the other. That's just so ungodly. That's so ungodly. And, you know, I said men go after a cost benefit analysis. That's true. the other thing is, if a man feels like he's being challenged, then, you know, he. Most men will take a posture, look, you will not beat me. I will beat you. So the men of the manosphere, you know, they're going to slay right back. And nobody wins here. So what's the answer? Well, the answer, as is the case with everything, the one who is the personification of, goodness, truth, beauty, life, it's Jesus. And so what we need to do, and it's going to have to be the church that leads out in this biblical manhood is modeled most clearly in Jesus Christ. Strength, courage, sacrifice, self control, grace, love, truth. Jesus. Jesus stared down evil and darkness. Jesus protected the vulnerable. Jesus spoke truth fearlessly, but with grace. Jesus humbled himself to serve others. And this is what a man is supposed to do as well. And I want to say to all the guys listening, the great, the most fulfillment you'll ever have, it's not going to be in accomplishments, money, sexual conquests. The most fulfilled you'll ever be is when you've given your life for things besides yourself. God, family, country. That's what we need in the men of our nation.
Jenna Ellis: Yeah, and what a great word, Alex, because I know, you know, for anyone, who is single, who's listening can totally resonate with this kind of competitive, whole arena of dating that is the modern world, where it's almost like, you know, he who is, or who at least projects the least, interest and the most effusiveness and passivity, can dominate, you know, that relationship. Because if you, the moment that you say that you actually care, then, you're at a disadvantage. And you know, it's almost like the Hunger Games of dating. And it's, and it's, not only, you know, does, does the Bible not prescribe a way that you have to go from single to being married? I mean, there are commands for when we live single and when we are married, but not a process of how to get there that's explicitly prescribed in scripture. But I can definitively say, based on how our modern culture treats each other during the dating process and the, the cultural wisdom, that it's absolutely unbiblical. I mean, not even just, you know, the immorality of the, you know, sexual conquests and things like that, but even, even in good faith relationships, between men and women of, of that competitiveness, of that advantage taking, that's actually, I didn't know that that that was the origin of that term. And that makes a lot of sense. And none of those things are building one's own character or loving the other person as a fellow Christian either. I mean, you know, this isn't something where you're, you are almost intentionally disrespecting the the imago DEI of the other person that you're in a relationship with. If you treat them as a conquest or as, you know, somebody that you need to dominate and you can't let them get the best of you. And those are the kinds of character lacking in both men and women, today. And also if spouses treat each other that way, that it's just a matter of getting ahead. And I mean, I can't tell you how many women's events I have been to at various churches. And I rarely ever go anymore because the entire focus was just complaining about their husband. And it was so wrong. I mean, it was gossip. It was also unproductive and it was defamatory against their character. And it was, it was very disrespectful. And that's unfortunately what a lot of women do. And and so I understand where this whole, you know, manosphere has arisen out of. But the point here, I think is to drive this back to not only respecting and cherishing and loving the imago DEI in the other person, whether you end up marrying them or not, if you're single or whether you are, you, know, whether you always like them as a person or their actions if you are married. But understanding that the call that the Lord has on our lives is to, ah, as, as his scripture says, as much as lies within you, be at peace with all men. Because, you know, I mean, God knows I can't control anyone else's actions. I'm only responsible for what I do, how I provoke or not, and then how I respond or not. And those. Building that kind of godly character in yourself first and foremost is, I think, where the church needs to focus for both men and women.
Jenna: The church needs to address this first with men
But when we're talking today about, about men specifically, in the last few minutes we have here, how do you think that the church needs to address this first with men? Because, and I've made this point on radio several times, women could be the most feminist, liberal, you know, total purple hair, man hating beasts, right? And it would still be incumbent upon the men to lead first and to be who God has ordained them to be as the positional authority first. And, and women can, can do this first. But I think in society, if men would actually return to their character and their God given nature and responsibility and authority and accountability first, we would see a radical change in society. How can the church do a better job at this?
Alex McFarland: Wow. great. And Jenna, I commend you for devoting your time to this because, look, as goes the family, so goes the nation.
Jenna: Let's maximize on family, not win with your family
And I want to say to everybody, and it's Jenna, it's kind of become my little soapbox. I mean, I'm an apologetics teacher and you think about the evidence for the Bible, but this is where my heart is at. you know, lose at anything else, but win with your family. And to every man, every woman, you know, number one obviously is Jesus, but, but plan on with God's help, finding a spouse. And you know, they say, how do I find the right person? Focus on being the right person. But let me say this so churches, pastors, preach, and let's maximize on family and from childhood up, be that person of Christlikeness and character so that I can fulfill everything God put me here to do. here's the beautiful thing. In First Corinthians 13, it says, Love believes all things, verse seven, First Corinthians 13:7. Love bears all things, believes all things. Now what does that mean? It doesn't mean we just believe everything, but it really means. I did some study on this first, Corinthians 13:7. It means it believes the good, it assumes the good about another person unless proven otherwise. Now, I'm going to butcher, this pronunciation, so I ask everybody's forgiveness. But I was in Africa, on many preaching trips to South Africa. And in the Bimba language, I heard some repeatedly, these, Zambian people would say Jabatamaningi. And again, I'm probably in my southern way pronouncing it wrong. Jabba Tamaninji. And I asked, I said, what does that mean? And this man, they said, you have separated out the good. I said, I'm not sure. What was that? M. He said, well, anybody can point out what's bad, but Jabba Taman inji, you have lifted out, you have pointed out what is good. And, you know, I think in love and in our relationships, that's what we need to do. And I've heard the, the women's conferences where, you know, the whole thing is just a two hour joke about what buffoons men are. Yeah, I know we men can be knuckleheads, I get it. But you know what? How about we, in the spirit of First Corinthians 13, let's point out what's good. We're all the beneficiaries of some people who invested to get us here. And you know what? wives, maybe your husband is frustrating. Let God remind you of what's good about him and make sure that he knows he's appreciated. And we need to do that for each other. And we need to show to upcoming generations of kids that people are not things to be used, but they're made in God's image. Humans to be valued. And as the church, as the Christians, let's restore an ethic of family, an ethic of love. And men, let's restore an ethic of Christlike manhood.
Jenna Ellis: Amen.
Jenna Ellis: This is something that the church absolutely needs to address
Well, thank you so much, Alex, for, writing this article, for addressing this topic and also joining today. This, is something that the church absolutely needs to address because, young men are looking for direction. Even, even older men. I mean, there is such a, you know, a crisis of lack of family and loneliness across all ages. I mean, this is such an important topic. We could spend hours and hours talking about it. but we've got it in this segment here. But I, I just really appreciate the thoughtfulness and the, the compassion as well that you approach this with. Because this is about you know, speaking down to men or saying, you know, you better do this or you know, kind of that kind of heavy handed sort of discipline. It's more out of love and saying, you know, if this if you want to get out of the depression, the loneliness, the, you know, all of these things that you're experiencing. Here's God's path and what he designed for your good. So again, Alex's, Alex's article that you should read is in town hall. It's titled Manosphere Masculinity Without Virtue and Sacrifice. so read that and we will be right back with more here on Jenna Ellis in the Morning.
Jenna Ellis talks about character qualities that women should strive for
Alex McFarland: Welcome back to Jenna Ellis in the Morning on American Family Radio.
Jenna Ellis: Welcome back. And you know what a great, great conversation with Alex McFarland on the character qualities that men especially, but then also of course, women should be striving for under the biblical worldview, not just what society tells us because we're not just debating masculinity and you know, whether men should be strong versus this kind of co, equal partnership that the world, the modern world would like to project. what we're actually doing is defining the family. And this is something that regular listeners will know that I have specifically been talking about the last few months and especially right now, June. We're in the midst of what the secular world would like to call Pride Month, which is of course just a total perversion of what the family unit is, designed by God and ordained to be starting in Genesis 1. And so culture offers really bad options. And this is where you either can choose truth or something else that is not truth. Those are the only two alternatives. And truth necessarily follows the biblical worldview, follows natural law, follows what God says in scriptures, and those things are never in contradiction. And the benefit of living in truth and living in reality is that that is actually for our good. And so the biblical model, strength and love, when we talk about, you know, First Corinthians 13 all the way through, the chapter as well. And also in Ephesians when Paul is talking about, you know, the roles of men and women in the context of marriage and when we're talking about the whole idea of character in an individual and then how that's displayed in relationship, first and foremost our relationship with God our creator, what is our attitude in our relationship with him and then also how that carries out to relationships with our fellow humans. And the primary relationship that any person will ever have is the covenantal relationship of marriage. And then hopefully also the relationship of parent to child. everyone has a relationship, of some kind, whether it's virtually non existent or you know, or one that perfectly model scripture, of being a child to a parent. and so we have all of these different relationships we're navigating and real strength and the biblical aptitude and what we should be focused on is not to control others, but to have control over self. Proverbs 5, 28 talks about this like, ah, a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self control. We see a lot of that in culture today. Everything is decided based on desire, appetite, emotion. There is no control over self. There's only immediate gratification. There is, what does this relationship do to serve me? If it's toxic, get rid of it. We hear that from the culture all the time. It's not what am I doing in order to preserve this relationship? Or what am I doing in order to ensure that I'm not the reason this relationship is broken. Right. Control over self, first and foremost within yourself, but then also as it relates to others, not just demanding respect as the manosphere does, but living with integrity. And Titus 1 and other places in scripture talk about that and having integrity. I mean we all understand that term that if, if a vessel, if a home is built with integrity, then when the winds, or here in Florida, the hurricanes come and the strength of that structure and that vessel is tested, it won't break. It will remain resolute, it will have integrity. Having integrity is basically being built with the character to withstand the winds and the trials that come without breaking. And without breaking doesn't just mean, you know, oh, you're, you're depressed or you've broken down. It kind of as a cultural term, but basically meaning responding in a way that is not biblical. We need to live with integrity and always have response that is biblical. We won't do it perfectly, but that's exactly what we should be striving toward. And always seeking to be more like the character of Christ, which is completely perfect in integrity and real strength, especially in our social media era as well, is to value character over just your public image or your status or your materialism or your emotions or your drugs or you know, your alcohol or whatever you turn to valuing character over whatever it is that you project and so the real question, I think this is all boiling down to is, what are we building that will actually last? Because so many people are putting, especially men, they are putting their entire lives into careers and into material things, into, you know, into building, status. That doesn't last and that won't last, and that doesn't ultimately matter to Christ. So there are two foundations, sand versus rock. And we see that in Matthew 7, the storms come to both, but only one stands with integrity. So on this Father's Day weekend, if you have a dad who has shown you that and has lived his life with integrity, thank him for that. Honor him for. For that. I thank and honor my father, for living with integrity and for standing firm and being a wonderful example. And if you are a man that you know that your life isn't full of integrity and character, this is the time to say, I'm giving my life to Christ. I'm going to ensure that my character is more important to me than anything else, because I'm shaping my life toward the image of the Christ. I have sacrificed all. I've given it all to the Lord, so that then I can go and live rightly. As always, you can reach me and my team Jenna AFR Net.
Jenna Ellis: Rights that our founders recognize come from God our creator
Jenna Ellis in the morning on American Family Radio. I love talking about the things of God. Because of truth and the biblical worldview, the U.S. constitution obligates our government to preserve and protect. The rights that our founders recognize come from God our creator, not our government. I believe that scripture in the Bible is very clear that God is the one that raised up each of you and God has allowed us to be brought here to this specific moment in time. This is Jenna Ellis in the morning.
Jenna Ellis: Good morning.
Happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful fathers who are listening
Well, happy Friday before Father's Day and happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful fathers who are listening. And I know that if you are not a father like me, you are appreciating and celebrating your father hopefully, even you know, regardless of whether you have a good relationship or perhaps a strained relationship or even an unknown relationship with your father, fathers are given by God and hopefully they have been a good influence in our lives and pointed us to our heavenly Father who is the ultimate father and the ultimate picture of what fathers should be. I'm very grateful for my dad who has been the most faithful and just solid influence in my Life. I'm turning 42 this year and he's still continues to be a very wise mentor and presence in my life that I would absolutely not be the same person without, his love, his wisdom, his discipleship and you know, everything that he has done for me and my family over the years. just stewarding and being a great example of what a faithful husband to first and foremost, ah, to my mom, his wife and then faithful father to me and my two brothers. And so I give the Lord thanks for that example. And another great example, is my dear friend Alex McFarland who wrote a fantastic piece in Town hall, that I want to talk about this morning that's titled Masculinity Without Virtue and Sacrifice. And you know this kind of gets into the modern crisis of manhood and how you know, we're not even allowed according to some to say the term father. It's like the non birthing human maybe or like, or person or you know we're even allowed to say person and human anymore. I mean it's beyond so absurd. But the culture has for a long time, even before this sort of post, post truth, on, on gender and questions of human sexuality, that for a long time the culture has degraded and demeaned the positional authority that the Bible specifically gives to men in three, in the three institutions but specifically the two institutions that he has ordained of the church and the family, and has consistently withered that away to the point that men either are betas, that we call them. They don't have, sort of any, measurable testosterone. They don't want to be the leaders, the providers, you know, understanding all of that, or they, they kind of swing the opposite way, like the Andrew Tate, kinds of the world that will. In order to have masculinity, you just have to, subjugate women. You got to go after what you want. You have to be almost this bully, sort of a man's man, the brawler. And neither of those two extremes are actually the biblical example of, of what masculinity should look like. And, and that, I think ties into a bigger issue that I've been talking about for a while, which is the definition of the family. Because if you remove the man as the head of the church and then also importantly the head of the family and what that actually looks like to be a servant provider, to be a leader and that masculinity that is necessary to shepherd the family, then you get off track into feminism, into, you know, all kinds of things that don't actually resemble what the family unit, is supposed to look like and how God ordained it in Genesis.
Alex McFarland writes an opinion piece about manhood and masculinity
So, with that kind of lengthy introduction, let's welcome in, Alex McFarland. and this is such a great untimely opinion piece in town hall. And let's, let's kind of just go through it and unpack it. Alex.
Alex McFarland: Well, Jenna, thanks for having me. I have such respect for the work that you do, and I appreciate you very much allowing me to, be on. You know, I've been very blessed to, write a lot of op EDS over the years when, you know, the Lord kind of motivates, me to speak on a subject. And so over the last several months, I've been seeing this word more and more, the word manosphere. And, I just felt led to write an article. But, Jenna, it's probably this may be the article that gets more response than anything I've ever written, like, ever. I mean, dozens of interviews are coming in and, thank you for being like, probably the first or the second media outlet to, ask me to speak on this. But, we have a crisis of manhood and masculinity and we need, we need with God's help, to recover biblical manhood in our culture.
The manosphere is a reaction against cultural contempt for men
Jenna Ellis: Yeah, and let's talk about that first, because if we're talking about the problem, I think we first have to talk about what, the ideal is. And it's not just the ideal in terms of the perception and the, you know, the cute postage stamp and the Norman Rockwell paintings, but what is the actual biblical view of what manhood and masculinity should look like?
Alex McFarland: Well, for the majority of Christian Western civilization, manhood. And by the way, everything I'm about to say really emerges from scriptural passages. But manhood was tied, to duty and sacrifice and courage and, and self control. being a moral example, a man, manhood, he was true to his wife, he loved his family. He would lay down his life for his family, his bride and his children. And he honored God and he carried himself with humility and composure. And, you know, that's really kind of been mocked in, in recent years. 50 years ago, the feminist movement in America, you know, emerged. Jenna, I'm, I'm old enough to remember, like, at, at the mall, they would sell posters that said, you know, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And there would be like some funny, you know, caricature. and men just were. It became popular to, you know, posit that men were just unnecessary. And not all, but, you know, in many, quarters, men, Well, I'm just going to say it. There were sperm donors and pay the bills, you know, but otherwise, men were a problem. Men were a bother. And so a lot of males have felt alienation and disrespect. And if you tell somebody long enough that they're unnecessary and unneeded, they'll go elsewhere and do other things. So, in a way, the manosphere is somewhat understandable, but it's a reaction and a rebellion against cultural contempt for men. And the woke left has, had this mantra of toxic masculinity. And so it's almost as if they're, they're men. They're saying, okay, you think I'm toxic? well, watch this. And so there, there's, there are YouTube channels where men just speak about their contempt for women and they'll, do what, what they can to, you know, make fun and denigrate women. it's almost, you know, hyper promiscuity. You know, use and degrade women, you know, have sex and then, you know, disappear. And neither of those, I mean, is healthy. My goodness. It's unhealthy for individuals. It's toxic for our society. We need to understand. And there's so much I can say about the happiness, the value, the fulfillment, not to mention health, longevity and prosperity of committed marriage and family relationships. So the vacuum created by radical feminism, radical egalitarianism, just this woke up culture that says family doesn't matter, gender is fluid and masculinity is problem. It's created just a perfect storm of things detrimental to people and society.
What does the Bible require from men? And everything that you described
And in my article and in all of my speaking, and I'll mention that again in a moment, but you know, I'm calling young men to experience what God designed for our good and blessing. And that's biblical manhood.
Jenna Ellis: And you know, it's such an important contrast to say, okay, what does, the Bible require from men? And everything that you described, virtue, sacrifice, covenantal responsibility, headship of family, I mean, all of these things, those are character qualities. the Bible doesn't require men to be wealthy, to have status, to you know, marry the hot girl, to, you know, I mean, all of these things that are status symbols or what men chase after, that the world is telling them to chase after, that's not, any part of what the Bible requires of masculinity. And obviously the same thing can be said about femininity. And you know, we've talked on the show a lot about femininity and the biblical woman and all of that, so I'm not discounting, that at all. But we're focused on men for this particular conversation.
Alex Knows argues that the new manosphere addresses real male frustrations
And so in your article, Alex, you argue that this new manosphere, and I want to ask you to define that in a moment. That, that, that whole category of influencers and you know, the secular response basically does actually address real male frustrations that you also mentioned like loneliness, purposelessness, declining marriage, confusion about their identity, being mocked, being told they're not needed, you know, all of those things. But the manosphere is not identifying the correct biblical solution and encouraging men to rise up again and, and be men. instead the manosphere is encouraging them along other lines.
Alex McFarland: Yeah, you know, one man, I identify that very frustrated, he said, in my family, he said, I'm an ATM that gets yelled at. In other words, the value and the presence of the man is just to provide money to be that, you know, cash dispenser when needed, but otherwise, you know, stay out of my life. So there, there's a lot of grievance, and there's just this assumption that there's a bias against men. And you know, by the way, a mutual friend and colleague, that is just one of the greatest Voices in the World is a guy named Dr. Gary Chapman. And he wrote a fantastic book called the Five Love Languages. And Dr. Chapman we've interviewed many times, and you know, he basically says that, men and women have an emotional, you know, love language that will most bring fulfillment and joy even. And when you know your spouse's or your children's love language and you intentionally speak to that, it keeps them emotionally and psychologically fulfilled. And he said, you know, for men, almost overwhelmingly, the number one thing that a man craves is respectful. And you know, with, you know, five decades plus of feminism, men in our culture, and maybe even even in some Christian families too, Jenna, men feel very disrespected. They do not feel valued. And the manosphere is, you know, men acting out on this. By the way, Dr. Chapman, has said that, you know, having employed the love languages concept since, the late 1960s, he said he believes virtually every marri could be saved. If you know your partner's love language and you speak to it. And you know, for most women, the love language, would be quality time together or acts of service. That's another show. Perhaps. But, you know, if men are strong and do male things, like I document in the article how in, you know, school, beginning in kindergarten, even when men do this, when, when little boys do the things that little boys do, like they're competitive and rough and tumble and you know, they're. They're, you know, masculine little boys, you know, that's you know, discouraged. And rather than, in. Even in, you know, childhood sports, more and more, rather than having winners and therefore losers, there's just, you know, you play and nobody wins. everybody gets a participation trophy. And that, that really has squelched, some of the things that are really bring out greatness as boys grow into men. By the way, Jenna, I don't know if you know this, maybe you do, but in the last 20 to 25 years, the number of men that earn bachelor, master or doctorates has radically plummeted. Right now, women, earn 60% of all the undergrad bachelor degrees. women earn 64% of all master's degrees. And right now women are earning, 60% of all the doctoral and professional degrees. So among attorneys, among medical professionals, the number of men even entering those professions decreasing. And you know, thank God for the, you know, accomplished women that are taking leadership positions in our culture. But we need to raise boys who, are goal setters and achievers and yes, are competitive and want to find their niche and be the best that they can be. So this, you know, suppression of natural masculine competitive strength instincts, it's beginning to, you know, bear some very, negative repercussions for our culture at large.
Jenna Ellis: Yeah. And, you know, you mentioned, Alex, how, the. The response for men is, you, know, to all of this is, just, you know, kind of acting out on this kind of manosphere. And you know, what I see on a lot of the Instagram reels and social media and all of that, from the female side, because obviously, you know, the algorithm is. Knows. Knows me and you know, knows that I'm, I'm a single woman and you know, pushes different, different products and different reels and things like that. and, and a lot of what, what I see and, and what I've done also in actively going out and seeking how women are responding to a lot of this, that I honestly, as a single woman resonate with is that, it kind of boils down to this. For the first time in modern. In modern history, throughout world history, right? For the first time, women have their own careers. We should have ministries full time if we're still single, like I do. but, you know, for the first time, women have their own money, their means, and they're not necessarily looking for a man to sign contracts, close houses, provide, you know, all of those things. They're looking to date, get married, respect a man based pretty much solely on character, and that's failing. And, and I think, you know, kind of the. It's a cyclical thing, like which came first, the, the lack of respect or the lack of character. you know, and I think that the overall point is that men, regardless of whether women respect them, should. Should achieve the. The biblical character that God requires of them anyway. And women, if they are married, should respect and love their husbands as God commands, you know, regardless of. Of whether they think that there's some improvement that could be done. But then, you know, for the single woman like me, I mean, I'm looking out there and going, there aren't any real men left. I mean, you know, of. Of the men that I've dated, which very few even get to the point of dating, is they automatically disqualified themselves on other reasons. But of the few, you know, it doesn't seem like any of them really understood what it meant to be a family man biblically. And that was the key reason that manifested itself in other ways, but. Or, various ways, you know, person to person. But, that was the, the main bottom line reason why I just said, you know, I, I don't think that we would be equally yoked. And so I ultimately didn't marry the person I was dating. so, you know, that, that I think is a, is a huge problem that, that women now are choosing basically to just opt out and men are saying, well, fine. And we're left then with even more loneliness, purposelessness and declining marriage.
Alex McFarland: You know, this is fascinating to talk about it. It really is. And, let me say the thing about men. many men, and in a way, this is a kind of pragmatism. They look at almost anything with a cost benefit analysis. it is a fantastic thing. And Jenna, I say this having been in ministry for three decades, in fact, right now I'm in Montana. I just moments ago was in front of 130 high school and college age young people that are hungry, I mean, hungry for truth and really hungry for practical, you know, implementable things about building a future and building a family. And so, God and family, I mean, having a relationship with Jesus, having a relationship with a spouse and children, this is what life is all about, really. And men, when they are encouraged in the right ways, they will rise to the challenge. They really will. But from a cost benefit analysis, here's where a lot of young adult males and not so young adult males have, have gone in their reasoning. They're like, look, if I'm moral, if I provide, but it doesn't get me the respect I crave, why bother? And I'm talking, Jenna. I've counseled Christian families that were imploding. And men are like, I've been true to my spouse. I've worked hard, I've paid the bills, I've tried to take him to church. you know, I've tried to be the exemplar. And yet my wife still doesn't respect me. My wife is, you know, spends time online. if I can pour myself out for all the things and in the marketplace, in society, and even at home, I'm just a stupid guy to be disrespected and kicked to the curb. Why bother? Now? Listen, we all should do right and live right because it's right to do right. But everybody wants to feel valued, everybody wants to feel respected. Matthew 25, by the way, you know, when we give a cup of cold water in Jesus name, it's as if we've done it for the Lord.
Jenna Ellis: Spouses and women try to love their man
And I want to say to everybody out there, especially the frustrated Spouses try to love your spouse and women try to love your man. As unto m Christ. I've had women say to me, well, my husband isn't respectable. He doesn't pick up his clothes off the floor. I come home and he hasn't, you know, started dinner like I asked him to or whatever. The thing about human nature, and this is where it really takes the Holy Spirit to help us very often, things become self fulfilling prophecies. If you don't show the respect, then he's not going to rise up and be respectable. If you don't prime the pump with grace and love and patience.
Jenna Ellis: And we gotta take a break here, Alex. And I'm sorry to Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. We're gonna, we're gonna continue this conversation on the flip side. We'll be right back with more here on Jenna Ellis in the Morning.
Jenna Ellis and Alex McFarland discuss decline of biblical masculinity
Alex McFarland: Welcome back to Jenna Ellis in the Morning on American Family Radio.
Jenna Ellis: Welcome back. And I'm here with my Special guest Alex McFarland, ahead of Father's Day and happy Father's Day to all of the fathers out there, who are part of the AFR family and who are listening. And we're talking about the unfortunate decline of biblical masculinity and the role that that society has played in this by degrading and defaming, the biblical man, quite frankly. And and Alex, as we were going to break, you were saying that you know, really great wisdom and my mom, who's a biblical counselor and she counsels a lot of you know, marriage and family issues, from a biblical perspective, you are saying like she does that you know, if you're in a, in a marriage or you know, in any, any type of relationship, you know, but especially the marriage covenant, instead of saying, well, if only my spouse would do XYZ first, then I could respect, then I could love, then I could start doing. It is incumbent upon us individually to say, what does God want from me? What does God require of me? And do that regardless of what your spouse or in other contexts, maybe your parents or your children or you know, whomever, your roommate, you know, whatever it is, whatever relationship you're navigating, ah, do what you are required before the Lord. And amazingly often that initial faithfulness to the Lord then begets the good consequence of having the person that you're struggling with in that relationship see that effort and they ultimately respond positively. Anyway, so it's, it's this kind of idea to Say, you know, we. We aren't dependent on others, other humans or our own life's conditions for our accountability and our responsibility for our character before the Lord.
Alex McFarland: Yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, we all have, emotional and psychological and spiritual needs. And, you know, in marriage, you know, sometimes one or both partners are not feeling that their needs are being met. But, the answer is not to belittle or degrade or to withdraw. the answer is with God's help, you know, prayer and, commitment and consistency. Stay in there and stick it out and be committed. And, I want to get back to the state of men, but let me just say that, it's not surprising that Satan would attack marriages, families, because marriage, Christian marriage, is the greatest vehicle for sanctification and growth. you know, Jenna, the longer I've lived and the more that I've researched, work with people and just live life myself, the institution of family, it was just genius on God's part, obviously. So, because it's God that was, you know, the creator of the human race, marriage and family, and Satan has attacked the family, and there are definitely consequences. and the couples that have worked through the rocky seasons and leaned into the Lord, and God has given them the grace and the strength and the wisdom and the perseverance to get through the crucible of life's experiences, shall we say? when you emerge on the other side, you've learned more about the faithfulness of God, the value of resilience and commitment. And so, you know, the family in the Western world has taken a lot of hits in recent years. And this, this article I, I wrote about the manosphere is not only how, you know, it's kind of a reaction of males that feel frustrated and belittled.
Alex: Men are asking me how to find a godly woman
let me talk about this. Earlier in the segment, you were talking about how women, you know, now, have their own, you know, sources of income. And, you know, it's not like women are as dependent on men as they have been in previous, you know, periods of history. But. And you're absolutely right, you know, wise women that are looking for a mate, they're looking for character, and they're looking. And I, I tell the young men, Jenna, it's. It's fascinating, in all of our hundreds of camps, conferences, sessions, you know, men aren't asking me the questions of 20 years ago, like, you know, what happened to the biblical manuscripts? You know, does history and archaeology prove the Bible? Yes. Men are asking me, how do I find a godly woman? How do I know how do I know? there's Alex. How can I know God's will for the spouse that I am praying to have one day? This is great. This is wonderful.
Alex Martin: Feminism has belittled men, the secular world has
But, you know, you mentioned the women that are looking for men of character on the other side. Let me talk about feminism that has belittled men, the secular world that has almost. They've relished tearing men down. If a guy is not six feet tall, he's not worth investing in. And it was a Beyonce song ten years ago, that talked about slaying. S L A Y I N G. What does it mean to slay? Well, you know, actually that's a term that came out of the gay community originally. But there are so many videos and social media reels, where girls, you know, laugh, and they love to, like, make a guy think he has a chance and then publicly humiliate and trash this guy. Slaying, you know, it's like one of the highest, you know, trophies is to publicly humiliate and tear down some guy after having, you know, you've led him on, making him think he has a chance. And the idea I write about in the article that, you know, men and women should be perpetual adversaries and the winner is the one who has destroyed the other. That's just so ungodly. That's so ungodly. And, you know, I said men go after a cost benefit analysis. That's true. the other thing is, if a man feels like he's being challenged, then, you know, he. Most men will take a posture, look, you will not beat me. I will beat you. So the men of the manosphere, you know, they're going to slay right back. And nobody wins here. So what's the answer? Well, the answer, as is the case with everything, the one who is the personification of, goodness, truth, beauty, life, it's Jesus. And so what we need to do, and it's going to have to be the church that leads out in this biblical manhood is modeled most clearly in Jesus Christ. Strength, courage, sacrifice, self control, grace, love, truth. Jesus. Jesus stared down evil and darkness. Jesus protected the vulnerable. Jesus spoke truth fearlessly, but with grace. Jesus humbled himself to serve others. And this is what a man is supposed to do as well. And I want to say to all the guys listening, the great, the most fulfillment you'll ever have, it's not going to be in accomplishments, money, sexual conquests. The most fulfilled you'll ever be is when you've given your life for things besides yourself. God, family, country. That's what we need in the men of our nation.
Jenna Ellis: Yeah, and what a great word, Alex, because I know, you know, for anyone, who is single, who's listening can totally resonate with this kind of competitive, whole arena of dating that is the modern world, where it's almost like, you know, he who is, or who at least projects the least, interest and the most effusiveness and passivity, can dominate, you know, that relationship. Because if you, the moment that you say that you actually care, then, you're at a disadvantage. And you know, it's almost like the Hunger Games of dating. And it's, and it's, not only, you know, does, does the Bible not prescribe a way that you have to go from single to being married? I mean, there are commands for when we live single and when we are married, but not a process of how to get there that's explicitly prescribed in scripture. But I can definitively say, based on how our modern culture treats each other during the dating process and the, the cultural wisdom, that it's absolutely unbiblical. I mean, not even just, you know, the immorality of the, you know, sexual conquests and things like that, but even, even in good faith relationships, between men and women of, of that competitiveness, of that advantage taking, that's actually, I didn't know that that that was the origin of that term. And that makes a lot of sense. And none of those things are building one's own character or loving the other person as a fellow Christian either. I mean, you know, this isn't something where you're, you are almost intentionally disrespecting the the imago DEI of the other person that you're in a relationship with. If you treat them as a conquest or as, you know, somebody that you need to dominate and you can't let them get the best of you. And those are the kinds of character lacking in both men and women, today. And also if spouses treat each other that way, that it's just a matter of getting ahead. And I mean, I can't tell you how many women's events I have been to at various churches. And I rarely ever go anymore because the entire focus was just complaining about their husband. And it was so wrong. I mean, it was gossip. It was also unproductive and it was defamatory against their character. And it was, it was very disrespectful. And that's unfortunately what a lot of women do. And and so I understand where this whole, you know, manosphere has arisen out of. But the point here, I think is to drive this back to not only respecting and cherishing and loving the imago DEI in the other person, whether you end up marrying them or not, if you're single or whether you are, you, know, whether you always like them as a person or their actions if you are married. But understanding that the call that the Lord has on our lives is to, ah, as, as his scripture says, as much as lies within you, be at peace with all men. Because, you know, I mean, God knows I can't control anyone else's actions. I'm only responsible for what I do, how I provoke or not, and then how I respond or not. And those. Building that kind of godly character in yourself first and foremost is, I think, where the church needs to focus for both men and women.
Jenna: The church needs to address this first with men
But when we're talking today about, about men specifically, in the last few minutes we have here, how do you think that the church needs to address this first with men? Because, and I've made this point on radio several times, women could be the most feminist, liberal, you know, total purple hair, man hating beasts, right? And it would still be incumbent upon the men to lead first and to be who God has ordained them to be as the positional authority first. And, and women can, can do this first. But I think in society, if men would actually return to their character and their God given nature and responsibility and authority and accountability first, we would see a radical change in society. How can the church do a better job at this?
Alex McFarland: Wow. great. And Jenna, I commend you for devoting your time to this because, look, as goes the family, so goes the nation.
Jenna: Let's maximize on family, not win with your family
And I want to say to everybody, and it's Jenna, it's kind of become my little soapbox. I mean, I'm an apologetics teacher and you think about the evidence for the Bible, but this is where my heart is at. you know, lose at anything else, but win with your family. And to every man, every woman, you know, number one obviously is Jesus, but, but plan on with God's help, finding a spouse. And you know, they say, how do I find the right person? Focus on being the right person. But let me say this so churches, pastors, preach, and let's maximize on family and from childhood up, be that person of Christlikeness and character so that I can fulfill everything God put me here to do. here's the beautiful thing. In First Corinthians 13, it says, Love believes all things, verse seven, First Corinthians 13:7. Love bears all things, believes all things. Now what does that mean? It doesn't mean we just believe everything, but it really means. I did some study on this first, Corinthians 13:7. It means it believes the good, it assumes the good about another person unless proven otherwise. Now, I'm going to butcher, this pronunciation, so I ask everybody's forgiveness. But I was in Africa, on many preaching trips to South Africa. And in the Bimba language, I heard some repeatedly, these, Zambian people would say Jabatamaningi. And again, I'm probably in my southern way pronouncing it wrong. Jabba Tamaninji. And I asked, I said, what does that mean? And this man, they said, you have separated out the good. I said, I'm not sure. What was that? M. He said, well, anybody can point out what's bad, but Jabba Taman inji, you have lifted out, you have pointed out what is good. And, you know, I think in love and in our relationships, that's what we need to do. And I've heard the, the women's conferences where, you know, the whole thing is just a two hour joke about what buffoons men are. Yeah, I know we men can be knuckleheads, I get it. But you know what? How about we, in the spirit of First Corinthians 13, let's point out what's good. We're all the beneficiaries of some people who invested to get us here. And you know what? wives, maybe your husband is frustrating. Let God remind you of what's good about him and make sure that he knows he's appreciated. And we need to do that for each other. And we need to show to upcoming generations of kids that people are not things to be used, but they're made in God's image. Humans to be valued. And as the church, as the Christians, let's restore an ethic of family, an ethic of love. And men, let's restore an ethic of Christlike manhood.
Jenna Ellis: Amen.
Jenna Ellis: This is something that the church absolutely needs to address
Well, thank you so much, Alex, for, writing this article, for addressing this topic and also joining today. This, is something that the church absolutely needs to address because, young men are looking for direction. Even, even older men. I mean, there is such a, you know, a crisis of lack of family and loneliness across all ages. I mean, this is such an important topic. We could spend hours and hours talking about it. but we've got it in this segment here. But I, I just really appreciate the thoughtfulness and the, the compassion as well that you approach this with. Because this is about you know, speaking down to men or saying, you know, you better do this or you know, kind of that kind of heavy handed sort of discipline. It's more out of love and saying, you know, if this if you want to get out of the depression, the loneliness, the, you know, all of these things that you're experiencing. Here's God's path and what he designed for your good. So again, Alex's, Alex's article that you should read is in town hall. It's titled Manosphere Masculinity Without Virtue and Sacrifice. so read that and we will be right back with more here on Jenna Ellis in the Morning.
Jenna Ellis talks about character qualities that women should strive for
Alex McFarland: Welcome back to Jenna Ellis in the Morning on American Family Radio.
Jenna Ellis: Welcome back. And you know what a great, great conversation with Alex McFarland on the character qualities that men especially, but then also of course, women should be striving for under the biblical worldview, not just what society tells us because we're not just debating masculinity and you know, whether men should be strong versus this kind of co, equal partnership that the world, the modern world would like to project. what we're actually doing is defining the family. And this is something that regular listeners will know that I have specifically been talking about the last few months and especially right now, June. We're in the midst of what the secular world would like to call Pride Month, which is of course just a total perversion of what the family unit is, designed by God and ordained to be starting in Genesis 1. And so culture offers really bad options. And this is where you either can choose truth or something else that is not truth. Those are the only two alternatives. And truth necessarily follows the biblical worldview, follows natural law, follows what God says in scriptures, and those things are never in contradiction. And the benefit of living in truth and living in reality is that that is actually for our good. And so the biblical model, strength and love, when we talk about, you know, First Corinthians 13 all the way through, the chapter as well. And also in Ephesians when Paul is talking about, you know, the roles of men and women in the context of marriage and when we're talking about the whole idea of character in an individual and then how that's displayed in relationship, first and foremost our relationship with God our creator, what is our attitude in our relationship with him and then also how that carries out to relationships with our fellow humans. And the primary relationship that any person will ever have is the covenantal relationship of marriage. And then hopefully also the relationship of parent to child. everyone has a relationship, of some kind, whether it's virtually non existent or you know, or one that perfectly model scripture, of being a child to a parent. and so we have all of these different relationships we're navigating and real strength and the biblical aptitude and what we should be focused on is not to control others, but to have control over self. Proverbs 5, 28 talks about this like, ah, a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self control. We see a lot of that in culture today. Everything is decided based on desire, appetite, emotion. There is no control over self. There's only immediate gratification. There is, what does this relationship do to serve me? If it's toxic, get rid of it. We hear that from the culture all the time. It's not what am I doing in order to preserve this relationship? Or what am I doing in order to ensure that I'm not the reason this relationship is broken. Right. Control over self, first and foremost within yourself, but then also as it relates to others, not just demanding respect as the manosphere does, but living with integrity. And Titus 1 and other places in scripture talk about that and having integrity. I mean we all understand that term that if, if a vessel, if a home is built with integrity, then when the winds, or here in Florida, the hurricanes come and the strength of that structure and that vessel is tested, it won't break. It will remain resolute, it will have integrity. Having integrity is basically being built with the character to withstand the winds and the trials that come without breaking. And without breaking doesn't just mean, you know, oh, you're, you're depressed or you've broken down. It kind of as a cultural term, but basically meaning responding in a way that is not biblical. We need to live with integrity and always have response that is biblical. We won't do it perfectly, but that's exactly what we should be striving toward. And always seeking to be more like the character of Christ, which is completely perfect in integrity and real strength, especially in our social media era as well, is to value character over just your public image or your status or your materialism or your emotions or your drugs or you know, your alcohol or whatever you turn to valuing character over whatever it is that you project and so the real question, I think this is all boiling down to is, what are we building that will actually last? Because so many people are putting, especially men, they are putting their entire lives into careers and into material things, into, you know, into building, status. That doesn't last and that won't last, and that doesn't ultimately matter to Christ. So there are two foundations, sand versus rock. And we see that in Matthew 7, the storms come to both, but only one stands with integrity. So on this Father's Day weekend, if you have a dad who has shown you that and has lived his life with integrity, thank him for that. Honor him for. For that. I thank and honor my father, for living with integrity and for standing firm and being a wonderful example. And if you are a man that you know that your life isn't full of integrity and character, this is the time to say, I'm giving my life to Christ. I'm going to ensure that my character is more important to me than anything else, because I'm shaping my life toward the image of the Christ. I have sacrificed all. I've given it all to the Lord, so that then I can go and live rightly. As always, you can reach me and my team Jenna AFR Net.
Jenna Ellis reflects on the significance of fatherhood and the biblical principles of masculinity. Joined by Alex McFarland, they discuss the current crisis of manhood, the cultural challenges men face, and the importance of restoring biblical values in relationships and family dynamics.
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