Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, preborn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nursemama Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy families. Hey, listen, today we're gonna have a fun time and today I'm going to ask you to to indulge me a little bit because many of you know I am Southern. I am a Texan, Specifically, I grew up Texan. I'm a native Texan. And all of the things that you hear about Texans being obnoxious about being Texan, well, I'm sorry to tell you, it's true. But I do love some Southern charm. And we're going to talk about that today. We're going to talk about some sassy Southern wisdom. We're going to talk about a new devotional. And here's the reason why. There is something about the pace of modern life that is just leaving us all exhausted. Is anybody else there with me? Even today, I feel like today my morning has been absolutely just cattywampus. I know. See, I'm already going there. You're like, wait, what is that word again? And some m of you are like, oh yeah, cattywampus. Everything is just kind of off kilter. Everything just feels like I am running. And I'm in a hurry to get things done. And I rush and rush until life's no fun. Does anybody know that song? I know I'm just pulling out all my southern roots today. But we've got everybody. No matter where you're living in the world. We've got busy schedules, we've got constant noise. We have the pressure to have it all together. And it makes even the most well intentioned person just feel a little frustrated, I think a little defeated. And right in the middle of these ordinary messy days which happened today, like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. And then, you know, the sky, the bottom of the sky drops out. I'm m running through the rain There is still joy to be found there, still grace. There is still the quiet presence of God. And today's conversation is just an invitation to do just that. Slow down, take a deep breath, and rediscover hope in the everyday. We are talking about what it looks like to find life and light in the middle of real life. Not the polished social media version, but the one with laundry piles, the one with hard seasons, the one with laughter and everything in between. Joining us today, my guest is someone who brings a refreshing blend of humor and honesty and deep spiritual encouragement. And if you didn't grow up in the south, sometimes Southern sayings can feel a little like someone handed you a sentence and forgot to include the subtitles. Like, what is that? But we all have our own dialect. Like, I remember going, having a, a, teacher who was from Boston and, and she taught me how to say car keys. In Boston, she would say, like, you know those brown pants that you wear? They're called khakis. That is how you say car keys when you're from Boston. At least that's what she told me. But here in the south, we say something like, is a wet hen and our favorite, bless your heart, which can be a prayer, a compliment, an insult, or wrapped into, into one no one really knows except the person who said it, the people who live here. But somehow these phrases say what plain English can't. We're taking life's chaos, we're adding a little humor, a little sass, and we're making you feel like you're sitting on the front porch with someone who just gets it. Today, even if we have to give you a translator, we'll do that.

Jessica welcomes Dawn Wallis to talk about her new Southern Sunshine devotional

My guest is Dawn  Wallis She's a writer, a speaker, columnist, known for her heartfelt storytelling and signature Southern charm. And she has a new devotional. How fun is this? It's called Southern Sunshine. I love it. 90 devotions to brighten your day and bless your heart in the best possible way. Originally from Virginia, now living along the Georgia coast, Don writes from a place of authenticity. She draws from her own journey through brokenness, healing, faith. Her passion is simple but powerful. Just helping people hold on to hope. Do you see why we're talking to her today? Because that's what we do here every day. Recognize God's goodness in everyday life. Dawn, we're so glad to have you here. Thank you so much for joining us.

Dawn Wallis: Thank you so much for having me, Jessica. I'm honored and humbled. Thanks so much.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, I hope that we have a hope filled conversation that's fun and encouraging and helps people to find joy no matter what they're going through today. Because that's exactly where God meets us in the middle of the messiness. I feel like that's what I'm learning in this life season right now. I remember my husband. Husband. Not too long ago, I was frustrated with how the house looked, and he looked at me and said, you do realize people actually live here, right? Like, people live here. Like, we have to live here. We shower here, we sleep here. We eat here. We have dirty laundry here. I'm m. Like, yes, yes. Okay. All right, I got it. It's not that perfect moment.

Dawn was raised in Virginia and did not know Jesus until she was almost 15 years old

So, Dawn I would love for you just to introduce yourself to us and just tell us a little bit about your growing up and how you came to know the Lord and how he gave you this message, this hope in this devotional today.

Dawn Wallis: Yes, I would love to. So, growing up, I was raised in Virginia. And I know some people can say, well, that's not the south, but the Virginia that I grew up in was very much the South. And my paternal. My paternal grandmother was highly influential, on my life. And. And when you read the devotional, you'll read some different anecdotes about her and some of the sayings that she had. And, I was raised in a home where I knew who Jesus was, but I did not know him as my personal savior until I was almost 15 years old. Everybody in my family, my mom, my dad, and my sister, had surrendered their lives to Christ and asked him to come in and. And be Lord of their life. And I was kind of the holdout. So. So I, remember I was 14 and almost 15, and my parents, you know, kind of said, well, why don't we go to this, this musical production at a theater in our local town, which was Richmond. And I didn't realize the production was going to be a passion play, but it was there where the Lord just really opened my eyes to see. As the actor portraying Jesus while he was carrying the crossbeam of the cross on his back, it became real that Jesus died for me, that his sacrifice, his perfect sacrifice, was made for me so that I could find forgiveness for my sins as well as eternal life with him. So that evening, as I tried to swipe away the tears on the minivan ride home, I got on my knees on my bedroom floor and. And I just said, you know, Lord, my life's a mess, and I need help, and I need you. And, so from that point forward, I got a Bible about Two weeks later. And then from that point forward, the Lord just began to change my life. And I remember at about 16 or 17 saying, you know, Lord, whatever you have for me, wherever you want me, however, whenever I will do it. And so I have not lived that perfectly, but that's still my heart all these years later. So, he's just been so kind to me. As, you mentioned, I am a former columnist. I wrote a column in a small town newspaper in North Carolina. It was a weekly column for the weekly newspaper.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I love it.

Dawn Wallis: Yeah. So I think what I learned from doing that, something that really transformed me as a writer was realizing that people responded best when, when the news was presented in story form. So as a columnist, I had freedom and I didn't just have to write bullet points or just, you know, plain prose. and so that, that really shaped me and helped me to understand how to better tell a story and kind of like lean into my Southern roots and my Southern heritage. So that, that's really what, what changed my life with that. But, you know, the Lord has just been so faithful to me. My heart has been to be a published author for decades, literally decades. And, you know, it took a while. I had to go through some really dark, stormy seasons. But he is faithful. And as he promises, you know, he will work all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. And I'm really watching that promise just, play out right now in my life.

Your new book is called Southern Sunshine. Tell me about the idea of Southern sunshine

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, it's not lost on me that you just said you had to go through some really stormy seasons, but your book is called Southern Sunshine. And isn't that just like the Lord to share to turn your pain into purpose? I believe that God does not ever waste pain. He does not waste suffering. He honors that. I know that, you know, he counts the number of times we toss in our bed. He. He bottles every tear that we cry. He definitely cares about our pain and suffering. And so I love that, you know, you've gone from that darkness of the nighttime storms and now joy comes in. And the form of Southern sunshine and, you know, Southern hospitality is legendary. There is something to be said for it. It is all that it's cracked up to be. It is. We're going to feed you good. We're going to give you some tea. We're going to sit on the porch. You know, all of those things. Tell me about the idea of Southern sunshine and what your vision is for this book, what you hope people are going to get out of it.

Dawn Wallis: Oh, absolutely. Thank you. That's a great question. So really it's an invitation. The book is to slow down and just take time with Jesus. My hope is it'll be the beginning of everyone's day, whether it's at sunrise or if you're a, a late riser, maybe it's a little later, maybe it's around 11, 12 or you know, maybe even one o' clock for you. But that really, it would help people to realize the importance of slowing down and taking time with Jesus. you know, I kind of look at it as like, like you kind of alluded to with having a glass of sweet tea in the hand and we're sitting on rockers and we're just talking with each other and sharing stories, spinning yarns and talking, talking to Jesus and talking about Jesus. Those are my favorite conversations to have with people are about the Lord where you can just hear what God's done in their lives and is doing in their lives and then you can just kind of just encourage one another with that. So that's my hope and prayer for this book, that it will provide, just refreshment for weary hearts, you know, for anyone that's maybe seeking or on the fence about Christianity, that their eyes will be open just to the goodness of God. Right. We serve the God of hope is what Romans 15:13 calls him. And that's my vision for this book, that it will just help people just take that time with Jesus and prioritize it in their mornings.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, that sounds so simple, dawn, but it's so hard to do. It really is in today's day and age. And just over the weekend I was speaking at a parent summit and my daughter was a co presenter or we did a session together. We did a mother daughter session which was really fun. And even she was talking about this, she's Gen Z, she's in grad school and she was talking about losing the art of conversation, just having just bite sized, you know, really kind of fast food version of, of, of devotionals and other spiritual content that we're consuming online. And she even said like, I don't know if, if people out there know this, this is something that they just taught me this week because you know, I'm old. I was born in previously the, the previous century as my kids love to troll me about in the 19s, but I didn't know if you're watching a social media reel you can hold, you can press up on the upper right hand side of the screen and it will Automatically do it on two times speed. And then there's some features like you can pull down to lock it. And she said, why do we need two times speed for a 30 second scripture reading? I mean, if we do not have time for 30 seconds, we are doing something wrong. And I think that that's really one of the great messages that I hope comes through in your book. And, and you use some Southern terms, one of those I've already talked about, which is cattywampus. I love this word because the first time I ever now I married a hockey player from Jersey, he did not know the word cattywampus. He was like, say what? And it really is just like, it's just not quite right. Like something's crooked, something's off. You know, your day just like is going off. talk about how, you know this. You an example of this, how you use your favorite Southernism to connect to a biblical truth.

Dawn Wallis: Absolutely. So one of my favorites, kind of building on what you were saying, is running like a chicken with its head cut off. Right. Because, oh yeah, that's how we are. And it does take the, you know, we have to practice God's presence. Right. And it's not easy. And depending on what season your listeners in. When my kids were babies and toddlers, like back then we didn't have the Bible app, so we couldn't like listen to someone read a scripture while we were in the shower. But that is a wonderful advancement in technology that you can do that today. But you know, I think we, we are like that. You know, you do get in that, in that position. And I talk about in the book how my grammy, when she was in kindergarten, she was told that, she could take anything she could to her, end of year picnic. And she told her mama that she wanted to take some fried chicken. And her mother said, well, that's fine, just go on out there and here's an ax and cut the head off. And so she told this. They were sturdier women I'm telling you about then because I could not, I couldn't do that now, and I'm in my 50s, so. So she cut the head off and that sucker ran in circles and then, you know, ran around and around, around and then his body dropped. And I, I feel like we are like that in our lives as moms especially. We wear so many hats from, you know, chauffeur to teacher to cook to seamstress. I mean, you name it. And a lot of us work outside of the home and that's why I relate that specifically to the story In Luke chapter 10, when Jesus goes to visit Mary M. And Martha. And I think this is probably a familiar one to your listeners. And, you know, Martha's running around trying to sweep up the dust bunnies. If she's anything like me, she's trying to get her messy stacks of papers kind of look sort of presentable, making sure the bread's not burning in the oven. And yet Mary is sitting at Jesus feet and listening to what he has to say. And Jesus affirms her behavior and says, you know, Martha complains. Look at what she's doing. She's not even helping me, Lord. And I think she truly expected that Jesus was going to kind of reprimand her sister and say, yeah, help your sister. But he says, no, she's chosen the better thing.

Dr. Jessica Peck: She has chosen the better thing. And we're gonna choose the better thing. Right. When we come back from this break, we're going to continue our conversation, on Southern Sunshine 90 devotions to brighten your Day and Bless your Heart by Dawn Wallis We'll be right back after this break. Don't go away.

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That's My King by CeCe Winans: wonderful and beautiful. Glorious and holy. He is merciful and powerful. Who we talking about? That's my King. We declare the glory. Give him all the honor. All together worthy. Who we talking about? That's my King. There's no one before you.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes, we will adore you. Welcome back, friends. That is that's My King by Cece Winans. And that's a great message for us. Anytime, anywhere. And today we've got a message for you. A message of hope. But we're delivering it Southern style. We're talking about a new devotional called Southern Sunshine 90 devotions to brighten your day and bless your heart in the best possible way. The author is Don Wallace. She's joining me today to talk about some of the funny things that we say as Southerners. I say we because I am definitely, someone who grew up in a southern culture where we said, bless your heart. Matter than a wet hen, Lord willing, in the creek don't rise and month of Sundays, all kinds of those there. And there was one that really made me laughed on because one of them when I got your book and all of the materials with it, it's spelled D J E, E, T. Okay, now if I spell that, some of you are going, wait, what? And some of you are like, oh, yeah, no, I didn't yet. Maybe I should, you know what it is? G, G. Yet, that. I know exactly what that is, Dawn And so I love that. But we were talking about Mary and Martha and did they eat and, and we're talking about Mary running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I told you during the break that. Oh yeah, my granny, she told me all about that at her granny's house, like fried chicken was an all day thing. They use an ax. They. She could ring a chicken's neck. And I agree with you, those women were tougher stock, for sure. Like, we, we have it a lot easier today, but I want to give it back to you to go back to what we were talking about with Mary and Martha and, and what else we can learn from them and how that southern saying inspired you to go back to the word of God.

Dawn Wallis: Absolutely. Well, I think, I mean, it just is so applicable in our daily lives because if I find someone's coming over, especially when my kids were little, I went into full on panic mode. You know, I was a total Martha, you know, trying to straighten, trying to dust, trying to clean, make sure the dishwasher was full and the sink wasn't piled high full of dirty dishes from breakfast. But Jesus invites us into rest. And I think that's it. You know, when we stay on the whirlwind of, just going and going and running in circles after circles after circles, we can't do anything but collapse. Like that chicken. And you don't get anywhere like that. So there was a time in my life where everything kind of fell apart. And looking back, I recalled that moment and I said, you know what? I was living life like I was on the Dumbo ride at Disney World. It kept going in circles and circles and it never stopped. And it Never went anywhere. And I think Jesus says, no, come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. I think sometimes we don't even realize how weary we are until we collapse in bed at night. Maybe it's after putting the kids to sleep or maybe trying to read another chapter of your last book and that exhaustion sets in. But God has a better way for us. He tells us to delight ourselves in him, and he'll give us the desires of our heart. That only happens when we stop and spend time in his presence. And I love that song you play by CeCe Winans. That's My King. That's a perfect time to spend time with the Lord in your vehicle. You can praise Him. You can put on Christian music or listen to a message or listen to the. The Bible app. read the Bible to you. It's just so important to keep ourselves grounded and centered in the word of God, especially with the heaviness and the weight and the crazy of everything going on in our world. And when we're running around, we can't do that. But Jesus meets us right where we are. He doesn't expect us to be perfect. In fact, he knows we're not. He's the only perfect person. And I think a lot of times resting means that we need to be okay with certain things. It doesn't matter if I've got a light layer of dust on my dresser, you know, if I'm happy, I'm, I'm at peace in my heart, and I'm filled with the joy of the Lord. The dust will take, you know, I'll get it taken care of. Maybe not today, but maybe tomorrow. I think it's learning to wait and rest in his presence is so important.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It is so important. You just said two of my favorite words together in the history of ever. You said, but God. And you also talked about one of my favorite scriptures from Psalm 37:4. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. And, you know, Don, I look at this day and age, and we often look at that verse like it's kind of a bargain we make with God. Like, okay, all right, I'll read my Bible. I'll do all the right things. I'll be the perfect Christian, and then you'll give me what I want. And that's not the meaning of that verse at all. It is, as you start to spend time with the Lord, he changes your heart, and he really redirects you. And when you talk about it's, okay for there to be a layer of dust. You know, I can't help but think, since we're talking about all things Southern, the Southernest lady I knew was my granny. And, you know, one of the things I loved about her house, dawn, was that, that it was not perfect at all by magazine standards. Like, it was a collection of whatever she had collected. Somebody gave her something, it was special, it was going to be out. So there was always like, a clutter of artwork or little, you know, pictures that were somewhere or just doilies that somebody had handmade for her that had a story about it. And, you know, I remember her, she would always walk around and she'd say, if I was worried about something, you know, not being picked up or whatever or finding something, she'd say, oh, Jessica, this is all going to be burned up in the fire. This stuff doesn't matter. You store it for yourself. Treasures in heaven. And I think that is one of the biggest lies that is creeping into the lives of Christians today. And we don't even realize it. It's like, you know, that. That proverbial frog sitting in the. And the water, right, that's being heated up. That lie that we're believing is that everything has to be perfect before we spend time with the Lord. Before we go to the Lord, our devotional has to, you know, be in a perfect room with a perfect, perfect cup of coffee with a window that looks perfect. And, you know, before we just go to church, we've got to look perfect and, you know, have the perfect outfit and the perfect car to go to the. With the perfect family to go to church. And we would say, like, oh, I don't believe that. But I think that inside we really do. And so we just kind of put off spending time with the Lord because we're waiting for life to be perfect. But you do such a great job. A lot of what you talk about in your book is just finding those meaningful moments with God right in the middle of the mess, right?

Dawn Wallis: Absolutely. Well, life isn't perfect. And if you would have been my friend on Fake book, and I called it fake 10 years ago, so I'm totally stealing that like so many other women. Right? You know, you have your carefully curated content now. Look, I love the Lord. I. I didn't set out to be a certain way or present a certain image, but there was so much, unraveling behind the scenes in my life that I thought, thought if anybody really knew what went on within the four walls of my home, there was just A lot that I would lose. And so eventually, everything did because I couldn't handle the burdens and the pressure and the situation that I was in. And I fell apart. But that's when I really learned, you know, what God, he calls us to come to him as we are. He doesn't want perfect because if we were perfect, we wouldn't need him. Right? That's the point of the gospel. He was the perfect, perfect, spotless lamb of God. Is that sacrifice in our place? And it can be discouraging scrolling through the feeds on social media. I mean, my goodness, you know, you look at what other people have, and like you said, it does all burn up in the fire. We can't take any of it with us. But temporarily you start to think, well, gosh, you know, well, my family doesn't look like that, or I don't take those kind of vacations, or, you know, just fill in the blank. I mean, we all have those areas where we feel inadequate it. But I think that does such a disservice to the body of Christ for us to pretend that we're something that we're not. Jesus loves us, the good, bad, and the ugly parts. And so for us to pretend that we didn't have any ugly or still don't struggle with some ugly, that's not fair. Because it sets this unrealistic, bar for people especially, that are just coming to faith. I've got to look this way, act this way, speak this way. Jesus loves us as we are. And the more we spend time with him and spend time in his word, that's when, like you said, he transforms our hearts. He makes them like His. He gives us his desires in the place of our desires. And I think that's the thing. We. We need to be real in the church. People are tired of, of thinking they have to look or dress or be a certain way. Jesus doesn't want our good behavior. Right. He doesn't want that from us. He doesn't sit up in heaven and go, well, she served in the church nursery. Checked. She taught children structure search. Check. She signed up for vbs. No, he doesn't want that. He wants our hearts above everything else. And that's living authentically with him. That's inviting him into the broken places. And that's not being afraid to share that, when appropriate, with other sisters in Christ. Look, the things that I've gone through in my life, I look at it as, you know, God has. Has forged hope in the fires of adversity in My life. And if I can share that with another woman and encourage her in her walk, and then I need to do that. I feel like there's a mandate. People need to know. Just because I'm a Christian, it doesn't mean that my life is 100% perfect, because it's not. God's done a lot of healing and a lot of deep work in me, but he's still doing that, and he'll do it till the day I stand before him perfected in his presence. I think that's. That's a message that's so important in the church culture today, that we're authentic and real.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That needs to be said every day and twice on Sundays. I mean, we really need to be having really honest conversation about this, because, like I said, I think in all of our conscious minds, we'd say no. We know that, like, I know I don't have to be perfect to go to church. I know that my house doesn't have to be perfect for me to sit down and read my Bible. And yet we feel that way. And I feel like, you know, when we're consuming more influencer content, just kind of everything's coming in one way. We don't have to be vulnerable. We don't have to share back. We just take what we want. And it's just like a little, you know, we're going to, like, the. The buffet, you know, like, what is it? The, the Golden Corral. That's what I feel like, you know, you're just walking down to the Loobies, you know, oh, I'll take a little of that. I'll take a little of that, a little of that. But there's no sharing back of authenticity. And.

Discontent can be a problem for men and women alike

And that's one thing I do appreciate about your book, dawn, is that you offer that voice, like you said, on the front porch with tea. And I think this is a problem for men, women, children alike, because we feel like. You feel like, the pressure to be perfect. I think. I think that dads feel this. I think men feel like this. Like, how are they providing for their families? And his truck is bigger than my truck. And, you know, he has more toys than I have toys. And we just start looking around at our life, and we can get so discontent. And that is really a strategy of the enemy. He comes in to steal, to kill, to destroy. And I think he steals our joy through comparison. And then we just start to kind of drift. And so I want you to talk to people who maybe have already felt that drift. Like, I'm I'm just at a place where I'm discontent in my life. Maybe they're going through something like you were going through something, Don. You know, you're in the fiery furnace. You are, ah, are just, in a. In a rut. Whatever it is, you feel overwhelmed. You feel distant from God. What message do you hope to send to people who feel that way?

Dawn Wallis: God is there. He's with you. He's with you in the fire, just like he was with the three Hebrew children, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Or their Jewish names, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, if you will. And, he's there. Cry out to him. Cling to him. Hold fast to Jesus. And when I say hold fast to Him, I don't mean just, oh, yeah, I'm just gonna say a quick little prayer in the morning. No, I mean, white knuckle. Hold on to Jesus. He's there. He sees you. He knows you. There's not a thought that you think that he doesn't know first. The Bible says he knows a word before it's even on our tongue. And you had mentioned earlier, you know, God carries our tears. He holds them in a bottle. Every single tear cried is precious to Him.

Seek the Lord. That's what I would encourage people. Even if it's Just reading one psalm a day

Seek the Lord. The Bible says that when we. That when we seek him with all our heart, we will find him. That's Jeremiah, 29:13. Just cry out to him and then find a Christian sister, you know, somebody who. Who maybe she does go to church or maybe goes to a Bible study or, you know, somebody that, you know, a trusted confidant, and talk to them and help them, help them, help you process through that, through whatever you're going through. For me, my healing process looked like a lot of, a lot of counseling, to be quite honest. I've experienced a lot of trauma and abuse my life. And 10 years ago, my entire world shattered. And I literally lost absolutely everything. but it was through that, through losing everything that I learned. I told people for years, Jesus is all we really need. But it wasn't until he was all I had that I understood the depth, the gravity of that, of that, of that saying. And it's. It's true. Jesus really is all you need. If you're feeling hopeless, he's your hope. If you're feeling weary, he's your strength. Don't give up on God, because He'll never give up on you. That's what I would encourage people. Keep seeking the Lord. Press in. Even if it's Just reading one psalm a day. And your prayer is, lord, help me. He honors those prayers. He knows your heart is honest, and he knows that you're sincerely seeking him. And that's when he shows up, up. And he will part waters for you and move mountains. I've seen it in my own life, Dawn

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's so powerful to hear you sit on the other side of your testimony and say, I have been in that storm. You called it that from the very beginning, a dark and stormy season. You said things like, you lost everything. You've experienced trauma and abuse. And you know what? I, as I've. I've walked through some tough stuff myself. And one of the things that I have learned is that trauma responses are happen sometimes people can. We have fight or flight. Like, people know about that. Like, they can. They can fight their trauma. They can fight God even in the midst of that. To say, like, I don't understand this. They can flight. They can just run away, like, I don't want to have it at all. They can freeze and just feel like they're frozen in a place. But they can also have a response that we're learning more about. In the last decade or so, I've really seen it come around more, and it's of a response called Fawn, which is kind of like, oh, just try to make everything perfect. That can be a trauma response. Perfectionism can be a coping mechanism for trauma, for pain that you've experienced where you're just trying to be as pleasing as you possibly can so that there won't be any conflicts, so that nobody will be upset with you, so that, you know, you can kind of control that psychological safety around you. And that's one thing that you lean into in this book, talking about trading perfectionism for peace. And I'm so glad that you are doing it because honestly, Don, Grace, God's grace has a way of meeting us right where we are. And I love that you quoted from Romans 15:13. That is one of my favorite verses as well, about the God of hope. May he overflow. And. And that's what we're going to give you today is hope and just the presence of God. Just sitting and resting, wherever you are in the messiness of your life, you may be just driving around aimlessly thinking, where is God in all of this? Well, I'll tell you, if you're hearing this message, that is not random. This is God's love letter, an invitation to you. Because we know that from John 3:16, and we know that all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. We'll be right back with more from Dawn Wallis and Southern Sunshine.

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Still by Crowder and Zach Williams: Still got a couple problems never seem to solve them I keep thinking I'm letting you down still ain't making you proud still why am I trying Spinning my wheels up a hundred mile hill Sliding back down till I'm stuck here in a standstill but oh, that's when I remember he's working on ah me still changing me piece by piece still making me better gonna do his thing don't I don't care how long it takes till All I know is I don't care if it's a little to say to say that I'm a sinner saved by grace Cuz I need more every day that's why he's working on me still

Dr. Jessica Peck: welcome back, friends. That is still by Crowder and Zach Williams. Got a little country flair. We're talking about Southern sunshine. I'm talking today to Dawn Wallis and she is using just some down home Southern hospitality and charm in a devotional that she wrote called Southern Sunshine. 90 devotions to brighten your day and bless your heart. And you know, when we look back at the first of the year, when I invited you to join in on, A Journey for 52 Habits for Healthy families, we talked about core spiritual disciplines first, prayer, reading scripture, getting plugged into a healthy church, and really being careful about the m music that you're listening to and have messages that reinforce it. And message like that in a song like that, it's so powerful, you feel like, okay, you're in a rough spot and God is working on you playing that song over and over. Hey, he's working on me still. That comes from scripture, he who began a, good work and you will be faithful to complete it. And those are encouraging messages. And then after those four core spiritual disciplines, we moved into to rhythms and we talked about daily devotionals. And I want to give a shout out to the men out here because I think for women, honestly, it's just much easier. There's really pretty devotional journals. There's. You'll see plenty of them. If you're going looking for something for Mother's Day that's coming up, you'll see a lot of really accessible ones. It can be a lot harder to find one that a man is going to open every single day. But I'm telling you, men need devotionals too. So let me just take a moment to really shout out to the churches, to the writers out there who. We need men's resources. I know my husband does a devotional and he's always looking for something for men. So just a, shout out to you if you've got that burning on your heart. I hope that you will follow God's leading in that. But regardless of whatever devotional you're using, it's an important daily habit that should supplement scripture reading. And there's something really comforting when people have a faith that feels approachable, when the faith doesn't feel like. Like I said, it's that steaming cup of coffee on a AI generated picture of, you know, here is me reading, my Bible as the sun comes up over the Tahitian sand or beach or whatever it is, you know, even if it's, even if it's something in my perfect house with my perfect kids and my perfect clothes and my perfect car, my perfect faith, there's something really comforting about having faith that's approachable. I think that's why people like the disciple Peter so much, because he's real. You know, we can relate to him. We can relate to losing our temper and, and having our best intentions fall through. And when we talk about those failures openly, it is like sitting on a porch with a glass of sweet tea, just having a real conversation. It's not rushed, it's not complicated. It's just honest and it's life giving. And I think that's what people are holding on to hope for there. This is a world that's so devoid of hope and really, the best hope the world can give is, hey, well, let's just live your best life now and hope for the best. Like, just. And. And I want to hope in a greater future than that. And so I appreciate Don Wallace, the author of this book, Southern Sunshine, coming to share that hope with us today.

Dawn: The ultimate message in your book is hope. And that's what you're here to give today

So, dawn, before we dive in to talk about our. In our last few minutes here together, I want to tell you another Southern phrase that I use all the time that people laugh at me for. So you may have heard, like, sometimes people say this word like, namaste. It's like some people say it after yoga. And there's some, you know, there's some other, interpretations that say, like, hey, that, that's not good. But we say this all the time in Southern's like. And Southern ease. If you're going to, you know, oh, are you gonna. Are you gonna go. Are you. Are you getting ready to go? Namaste. Like, that's just what we say. Namaste. Like, that's. It's just quick like that. There's all kinds of little Southern phrases like that that you have throughout the book. But the ultimate message that's running through that, dawn, is a message of hope. And that's what you're here to give today. So I'd love to just hear more from your heart about that.

Dawn Wallis: Absolutely. So, real quick about the men's devotionals. the CEO of Hobby Lobby wrote one. That's what my husband's currently going through. So if there's any men listening, that's a great one. but as far as hope. Yeah. So, you know, really the only thing we can hope in is Jesus. So for much of my life, you know, I hoped that my parents would behave a certain way when I was a child, or I hope that my husband would behave a certain way, or my kids, or, you know, I would hope in the church or hope in the job or hope in the money, or hope that I'd get the house or hope that I'd get the car I want, but that's all false hope. And. And it sets us up for disappointment, you know, and hoping in other people. Other people will disappoint us. No matter how wonderful they are, they're not perfect. The only person that was perfect is Jesus Christ. And that's why all our hope needs to be placed in him. And I do love Romans 15:13 because it says, the God of all hope will fill us with joy and peace as we trust in him, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can overflow with hope. Hope. I want to live that life of overflowing with hope that's in me, m put in me by the God of hope. We're in this world that, like you said, it's devoid of hope. But as Christ followers, as believers in Jesus, there should be something different about us. Now, I'm not saying it's all about being happy, because that's not what it's about. Hope and happiness are not synonymous. But having that deep rooted hope that I am the Lord's, he knows me, he sees me, and he loves me as I am. And it's the same for each one of your listeners. Right? That's what our hope is. Our, hope is that he saved us from our sins. Our hope is that we get to spend eternity with him in heaven and that we're made perfect one day in his sight. So that's my passion, is to really share. There's always hope. Hopelessness should never be in the life of the believer. If we place our hope in the God of hope, it won't be.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, dawn, as you're talking, I am really thinking about your perspective and how you've presented your perspective with, on, what you've been through without even saying it. And really you're talking about surrendering to the sovereignty of God, that things have not gone perfectly, that there have been things that you've experienced that, that you wish that you hadn't, maybe, or that you, you know, look back and were painful in a way or that were hard in those seasons. And I think so often in today's day and age, we try to create our own hope. Like I talked about. It may be that it may be a trauma response, be just, you know, subconscious, because you haven't been to therapy yet. And maybe you need to go to therapy and have somebody work this out with you because you're fighting, you're flighting, you're running, you're freezing, you're, you're frozen or you're fawning, you're trying desperately to create these perfect circumstances. We see this in parenting happening, dawn, with the evolution of parenting styles. And around the 2000s, we started to see this parenting style called lawnmower, where I'm going to make your life perfect. I'm going to have it perfectly curated. There's not going to be a weed, not an ant pile, not an obstacle. Like everything is just going to be perfect. And we have a lot of language for that here in this country, in America. We, you know, I'm A self made woman, a self made man. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You know, the pursuit of the American dream and all of these things, which those things are not in and of themselves bad. There are a lot of great stories that we can know about people who did show resilience and bravery and intelligence and innovation and those kinds of things. Things. But I'm talking about the source of hope and making that your only source of hope. Like the only one who's going to save me is me. How did you come to a point in your story where you found hope in surrendering to the sovereignty of God even when your life wasn't perfect?

Dawn Wallis: He was all I had. So I got to the point where it was like, you know, I can't fight anymore. I can't pretend. And you talked about that fawning. That was very much me. Me hiding imperfectionism, to try and make sure that my life looked perfect and, and I'll be very vulnerable here. As a mom, I look back and I didn't know lawnmower mom. But, you know, I wanted to insulate my kids from the struggles and the, the heartache and the abuse that I went through as, as a child. So I literally created a situation where my kids could do nothing but succeed. that wasn't necessarily to make me look better as a parent, but it was because I just wanted to protect them and insulate them that my biggest parenting regrets. Because it's through failure that we learn, and it's through failure, through everything in my world that I had carefully put together and created falling apart, that I realized I have no control over anything. Anyway, you know, I actually went through the 12 steps with celebrate Recovery. because my pastor at the time, he said, don, you've got a little issue called codependency, and you want people please everybody. And, and you know, and it was just a light bulb went off in my head. Wait a minute. If I'm powerless to save me, then I'm powerless to save anyone else. And the best thing that I can do, the biblical thing to do, is to pray and surrender my life every day. That's a decision that I make. Surrender my life to Christ, Lord, your will, above my will, and also surrender the lives of the people that I love, you know, and say, God, I trust that you're working in their lives and through their lives, and that even though there's difficult difficulties, you're going to redeem this for their good and for your ultimate glory. And I think, you know, it was just coming To a place where I had nothing, that I just totally surrendered. And I'm going to tell. Tell you, you know, trust in God, that is the only thing we can trust in. Trying to trust in ourselves or create some lifestyle, that's just an illusion. We have no control. And to believe that we do is. It's actually foolish and it's completely against what scripture says. Right? You know, we're supposed to trust in the Lord with all our heart, lean not on our own understanding is Proverbs 3. 5. So that. That's really how I found, you know, just that daily surrender, committing myself to him. And as I do that, it. It just makes sure that my. That my brain is focused on hoping in the one who is Hope.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You are not alone, Don. I did the exact same thing that you did as a mom. And it came from a heart of. Of protection. It came from a heart of, you know, I. I want to get this right. I want to be the best mom that I can be. And as I shared with you, my daughter and I actually were. Were sharing together, and we were very transparent about our journey. And, and what I've shared, Don, many times now is that, you know, I really was putting pressure on the people around me to be perfect. And that being my kids, my husband. Because if I had a perfect husband and, and a perfect marriage. But, well, that must be an immediate feedback loop to say I'm being a perfect wife, I'm doing okay. I needed that external gratification, that external, you know, immediate feedback loop that told me I was doing a good job. If my kids were behaving perfectly, well, that must mean that I am being the perfect mom. And so I see that. But what we have to realize is that life is messy, Don. Life is messy. And sometimes, you know, things are not easily solved. There may be a struggle in your marriage that. That takes weeks or months to get through. There may be a struggle your kid is having that takes months or even years to get through. And we have to be in the middle of that messiness. But if we train those around us just to give us that perfect feedback, you know, just like, okay, as long as you're saying the right thing, as long as you're doing the right thing, that's when we start to lose the heart. And then that's when we start to lose that connection to God because we're trying to. To find hope in our own power rather than finding the overflowing hope that God promises in Jesus. Is that your. Is that what you've experienced too.

Dawn Wallis: Absolutely. You know, and I know for me, something that's been really healing with my adult children is saying, look, you know what? Giving them permission to be real insane. Look, I'm sorry. This was my heart, this was my intent, but I wasn't right at the time. You know, I needed some counseling. I needed. Needed some therapy, you know, and owning that, you know, hey, I shouldn't have done this. But then just saying, hey, listen, you know what? I want you to feel, safe with me. I want to be a safe person. You know, if you're struggling with something, you know, I would love to pray with you and pray for you and if, if possible, share a scripture verse. And there are times that I'll do that with my kids. But. Yeah, and.

If you're going through something, Celebrate recovery might be a great resource

And, you know, the beautiful thing about Jesus is he came into our messy world 2000 years ago ago, but he still comes into our messy lives today. And I think that's it. He doesn't want us to clean up before, to come before Him. He comes to us in the middle of our mess because that's what we're in as long as we're on this side of heaven. You know, I heard somebody say, you're either going through a trial, just went through a trial, or about to go through a trial. And if that's true, we just desperately need Jesus again. Like you said, it's not about being perfect perfect. It's about embracing the imperfection. Because when we let our guard down and we're humble, that's when God can do his deepest, greatest work in our lives. When we're totally depending on him and admit that we don't have the answers and we don't have it all together.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's so true. And so I encourage you, if you're listening and you think you're going through something, Celebrate recovery might be a great resource for you, too. There's all different kinds of things that. That people are going through. I mean, it's a lot of different things. But if you're just going through something and you feel like I need some support, I need some help and some hope and some healing, maybe Celebrate recovery is something that you should look at. Maybe it's therapy. Maybe it's time that you go and talk to a counselor and work through some of those things. And Don, I'm so grateful for your transparency in this. And there it is. Never too late. And I look at my own daughter. You know how I look. And. And we close on a. On a Southern kind of phrase. One of the phrases that we use in my house now is Mama. That's your trauma talking. Like, that's not. Nobody is mad at you. Nobody is, you know, thinking ugly things about you, like, we're all fine. That's your trauma talking. And if you want to read other Southern sayings, you can pick up Southern sunshine, 90 devotions to brighten your day and bless your heart. Listen, go and get some tea and give it in this book and give it to your mama for Mother's Day. I think she would love it. Thank you so much, Don. And wherever you are, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. And I'll see you right back here tomorrow.

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Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

Dawn Wallis joins Jessica to talk about combining classic Southern sayings and Scripture for her devotional entitled "Southern Sunshine"

https://dawnwallis.com/