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Healthcare has become controversial and parents are bombarded with conflicting opinions

And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And listen, we need it. We need a world filled, filled with hope. And a lot of times for a lot of families. We live in a world that doesn't feel hopeful as much as it feels fearful. And one of those places where I am seeing a lot of fear is really near and dear to me and is really close to home. I'm talking about healthcare. Healthcare has become a very fearful place and a very controversial place. Now, this is really. I'm just going to digress for a moment. This is been very difficult for me personally. I have been in pediatric primary care for 30 years and more than 30 years actually, believe it or not. And when I first started, let me tell you, the healthcare providers, those pediatricians that I worked for, they were so trusted by the community, almost revered, really. And there is definitely a balance to be had there. But we were the places where parents came when they were worried and they almost always, always left reassured. Now it's so different. We have parents who are coming in who are very fearful and in some cases rightfully so. There are some very real fears out there. And in many cases, they're leaving and they're feeling like, am I getting the right information? Is this something that I can trust? Is this okay? And I don't want families to be that way, but it is unfortunate. The reality is we live in a world where healthcare has become controversial and polarized and parents, are bombarded with conflicting opinions. It was, you know the saying, ignorance is bliss. It was almost better when we didn't know things. And in the healthcare field, even as, even in my early days as a nurse, when I would go in for my own care, they would say, oh, you're a nurse. Oh, you know too much. You're not going to be a good Patient. Because when we know more, that can generate more fears. Now, knowledge is power and it's great, but we have to have an a, balance there. And it's really hard because you think, okay, I'm going to go home and look on the Internet and I find this. And basically I go to WebMD, I search my one system, and basically in the next five minutes, I'm planning my funeral. Have you ever had that experience where you just feel like, okay, I don't know, but I went in and they said, it's fine. Now we combine that with scary headlines, and then we have very strong voices on social media telling us, oh, this is awful. Oh, this is wonderful. We have all of these conflicting opinions about vitamin supplements, about health practices, about whether something is good or it's not good. This exercise is going to save your life. This exercise will kill you. This vitamin supplement will cure all of your diseases. This vitamin supplement, you get the picture, you know? You know, because you're there with me in that. And what. We're just torn between what we must do and what we meant never must do. And it's no wonder that so many of us feel paralyzed by fear. And we wonder, are we making the wrong decision? Are we getting the wrong treatment? Are we going to the wrong place? Others of us are afraid of being judged by our provider, because we think, okay, well, if I have this belief, if I have this, this what we want to do, like, is that going to be respected? How much is my voice going to be in that? in that paradigm? It's hard. But here's the truth. Before we even dive in today, I'm going to equip you on how to choose a care provider for your family and what to expect when you go to those visits. But here's the guiding truth. God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. That's from 2nd Timothy 1:7. So I want you to have that going in. You don't have to navigate this alone. You don't have to have all the answers. You have to be just open to seek wisdom. You've got to ask good questions. And we are going to learn to partner with trusted healthcare professionals for guidance. Healthcare does not have to be a battleground for your family. For most of us, it's going to be a place of partnership, of discernment, and it should be a place where you go seeking answers and you come away confident in what you might learn. Now, the human body is an amazing, miraculous work of God. And often as healthcare providers, we cannot give all of the answers because we do not know everything there is to know about the human body. We have only mapped the human genome and known about DNA science since after I graduated from nurse practitioner school. So not, that's a while ago, but not that long ago. So we're still learning. Often there are not easy answers, but if you're trusting that provider in the process, ah, that's where you need to know and you need to be in a place where your family can grow and thrive.

Choosing a primary care provider is one of the most important decisions

Now choosing a primary care provider really, really matters. It is one of the most important decisions that you will make as a family and especially as a parent because as a par, you have the responsibility of caring for your child, of stewarding their health. So that's an even greater responsibility. Now a healthcare provider is not just someone who checks off the boxes at those yearly visits. It should be someone who is a partner in your child's growth and in your own health and well being. As, pediatric providers in particular, we partner with parents. That's how it should be. Partnering with parents to teach you what we know. Partnering our expertise in pediatric growth and development. Development with your expertise as a parent, you know your child best and that partnering together is what is going to make the best outcome for your child. We might notice, we might tell you about developmental milestones that are coming up, notice early signs of concern, and support you as you're raising your child. Answering your questions. Now this has been challenging in a world that prioritizes convenience. So when I first started in pediatrics, people would wait for days to see that provider because they thought, I want to see that one person. They know me, they know my family. And now because we prioritize convenience, we have fragmentation of care. We don't have people seeing that one person every time. And let me tell you, that makes a difference. When I, first started in pediatric primary care, I knew my families very, very well. When I was working there full time, I knew who had a soccer tournament that weekend. I knew who was preparing for piano recyc. I knew all the things and that really helped me partner with families. And sometimes convenience is great, but if that is a regular way of life and you're just like looking on the Internet for whatever telehealth company you can find that's going to give me what I think I need right now, or going to urgent care and, and not cultivating that relationship, then you may be missing out on a resource that God can use to work for good. In your life. Now, as people of faith, we know that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and God has entrusted us with the stewardship of our children's health. And that means we have to make very wise choices about who we invite into their care. And if you don't have that relationship with a primary care provider, then when your child or yourself, when you face a health crisis that is unexpected, when you face an injury that is unexpected, then all of a sudden you're trying to connect Instead of calling that person you trust, calling that person you know, calling that person who gives you comfort, all the difference in the world, rather than just walking into urgent care and meeting a stranger and trying to navigate all of those fears at the same time. It's so helpful. And sometimes you may not be able to connect directly with that primary care provider, but they can tell you, oh, connect with this person. I know that, you know, my husband had that experience even when he was going through some dental injuries. And we had a really good working relationship with our oral surgeon. He knew us, we knew him very well. And when we faced an emergency out of state, he was able to connect with someone he knew, he trusted. And because we knew and trusted our oral surgeon, we trusted his recommendation. And it ended up working really, really great. And so that is why I really want to encourage you. I know I'm, up on my soapbox here today, but for those of you I know there are those of you listening who think, okay, I don't have that. I don't have that connection. In today's world, it's so important to invest in that, because so often we only think about medical care when we're sick. But we also need primary care as preventive. So it's important to have that connection, have that annual checkup. And I'll tell you why. It's not just about your own health. It's about cultivating that relationship with a provider you trust.

So If you're looking for primary care, who can that be?

So now let's understand who can be a primary care provider. So if you're looking for primary care, who can that be? I'm going to talk specifically about kids, although this can translate to adults, too. But a lot of parents, they think maybe a pediatrician is the first person that comes to mind. And pediatricians are great providers of health. They are specialized in child development. There are many pediatricians out there. I've had the privilege of working with many who are just tremendous, tremendous clinicians and tremendous people of faith. But there are also some other highly trained professionals who might be an option for You. So pediatricians, of course, they are physicians. They specialize in children's health from birth through adolescence. It might be a family physician. These are physicians who care for patients of all ages. So sometimes that can be really nice. Nice because your, family can go together and it's somebody who sees somebody of all ages and they don't have to transition out, because for pediatrics, once they hit adulthood, they've got to find that adult care provider. and also, of course, for my own professional lens, pediatric nurse practitioners. These are nurses with advanced degrees who specialize in child health and development. Now, for a nurse practitioner, we learn from a holistic care model. So we really have a very strong emphasis on preventive care. On holistic. Holistic, holistic health promotion. So that means that we look at you as a whole person. You're not just blood vessels and bones. You are also body, mind and spirit. And we really specialize in that. Similarly to family physicians, family nurse practitioners are our providers, our advanced, practice nurses who care for children and adults. They care for the family. And so that might be a choice for you if you want one provider for your whole family. There are also some physician assistants who practice in family or pediatric settings, but those are options for you for pediatric primary care. But again, the most important thing is continuity of care. Whether you're an adult, a teen, a toddler, or a grown person, you are going. Children and adults are going to thrive. When someone knows your medical history, isn't that nice? When you walk in and you don't have to give the story all over again. They know everything because they've seen you so many times. Someone who understands your family, and especially for children, someone who can track growth. And over time, we see those kids grow. Now, the first barrier that I hear from families is, okay, how do we make sure our worldview aligns? I want to find a provider who believes like I do, who. And they may not have to share every single belief that you hold. It may not be somebody who you're not going to go in with a doctrinal test, a theology test, but it's important. It's really important that they respect your values and work in partnership with your family. So here's some questions that you can ask. Now. Many providers will give this information on their website. Some of them will even offer an interview appointment at a certain time during the week. They may designate some of those times where they'll meet with you for an interview appointment so that you can talk with them. I know especially in pediatrics, we do this for new families all the time. When, I was working full time in primary care, the end of the day was always the time where I would meet new parents and we could have those kinds of conversations and decide if this was the right fit for a partner partnership. So here's some questions that you can ask. How do you approach family decision making and parent involvement? That's a really good question. just asking them, how do they view that partnership? You can ask them, what's your philosophy on whatever it is that's really important to you? There may be a specific health issue that your family is facing. There may be a certain topic, that certain issue that you're really, really concerned about. Ask them their philosophy on that. Just ask them. Okay, here's, here's my, belie, my concern. Here's what I think about, you know, complementary and alternative therapies is a question that I get from parents a lot. So what is your philosophy on that? How would that look with us working together? You can ask them, how do you support families with different faith or cultural perspectives? Or how do you handle situations when we disagree? That's going to be important. And here's the thing, a provider who welcomes those conversations and honors your perspective is one you can likely trust to walk alongside your family. And to do that, that's really, really important. Now, the next question that I get after that is making sure your worldviews align, which, by the way, ask your friends and neighbors, get on those social media pages. That might be something where it is used for good, and ask people, who do you use and why do you like them? And, and ask for recommendations from your neighbors that might be helpful. The second most common question that I get is about parents and children's rights and care. Now, this is really controversial and really hard to navigate. It's very complex. I'm going to talk about it. I won't be able to answer all of your questions, but I'll answer as many as I can and give you some help and hope for navigating the healthcare system and how to choose the right primary care provider for your family. See you on the other side of this break

Preborn network clinics help women choose life through a free ultrasound

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I Know A Name by Brandon Lake, Chris Brown,and Elevation Worship: roaring waves I know a name. That. Can empty out a grave I know a name it's the only name that saves and it's worthy of all praise I call you Jesus I call you, I call you Healer risen and reigning in power Something comes out of the grave every time I call you Jesus I call you I call you Savior worthy of glory forever Something comes out of the grave every time I call your name.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is I Know a Name by Brandon Lake, Chris Brown and Elevation Worship.

Child and teen consent in healthcare is one of the biggest controversies today

And we're talking today about taking care in choosing a care provider. How do you choose a care provider for your family? This is something that I get asked all the time, and I'm so appreciative of people asking about that because it is a really important thing for us to talk about. So let's talk about one of the biggest controversies that we see, and that is child and teen consent in healthcare. Consent, privacy, confidentiality. All of these are, highly technical legal terms that can be really difficult to navigate. And that is one of the most challenging areas for parents today. And one of the areas that generates the most fear is where do I have control of my child's health care? Where do I have consent? What can they consent for? Especially as they grow into those teen years, it can feel overwhelming and sometimes downright threatening because we have laws, we have providers, we have schools that suggest that, hey, a teen can access certain healthcare services without a parent's knowledge. This is something that is real and something that you need to be aware of and something another reason why you need connection to a trusted primary care provider and you need conversation with your child about this. Now, why it's controversial. There are different laws in different states, and in some states, teens as young as 12 around that age can consent to mental health care, substance abuse treatment, or even reproductive health care services without parental involvement. But they may not be able to consent to getting, you know, a a simple treatment for a cold. So that, that is something that really frankly doesn't make sense. And we have a conflict between parent versus child autonomy. Parents want to protect and guide, but the law says no. As older they recognize that, you know, they say that recognize the teens privacy in some states. Ah. And that's, that can be a conflict there. We also have rising mistrust of healthcare systems because parents fear being pushed out of their child's care. They fear that providers are going to tell their child something that's contrary to their beliefs, that they're going to hold something secret, that they're going to give them a treatment or access to information behind their back. And does that happen? Yes, yes, yes, it does happen. Is it the norm? I don't believe that it is. And again, this is why it is important to partner with your child's healthcare provider. And because there are very sensitive issues that do require sensitivity in navigating them. We're talking about things like reproductive healthcare, gender identity, mental health treatment, and those are the places where we're going to see fractures and tension between cultural norms and family beliefs. And you may have to navigate a situation that is really difficult. So first of all, it's normal to be uneasy and to be afraid about these laws that seem to minimize your role. That is normal because you are the parent and you are the protector. And, and so give yourself permission to be a little upset about that and, and a little anxious about that. That's, that's normal. That's okay. But here's what you can do. You can stay informed. You can know what your state's consent laws are and you can talk to your provider about that. They should be knowledgeable about that and talk about that and how that may intersect your ability to have voice in their care and build trust with that provider. Because a good provider, the best healthcare providers, they are not trying to replace parents. They are trying to support you and helping your family be the healthiest. It can be, whether that's family communication, whether that is healthcare advice. But they also are trained to respect a child's growing independence and m. I'm m going to talk about this transition here in just a little bit, so hang on to your hats. But ask them openly, how do they handle confidentiality? When do they involve parents? Ask them about the electronic medical record. Because there are different laws in different states that allow parents different kinds of access to that. Now, the answer to that is, again, open communication with your teen and knowing what you can see, what your teen can see. Sometimes these systems we don't have control over. You may not be able to change the rules of a system system, but again, that's going to be best navigated through open communication with your teen. Don't wait for a crisis. Let them know you are here. You want to be part of their decisions. You respect their developing autonomy and their journey towards adulthood. And you might say something like, hey, I know the law says that you can talk to somebody without me in some situations, but I hope you'll always feel safe coming to me first. First, I am your biggest cheerleader. I'm on your side. I'm here to help. That can be really helpful. And we've got to model balance by showing them their opinion matters. We want them to have voice in their health care. Because here's the unhealthy thing. We don't want to control every aspect of their medical encounter. And then all of a sudden, they're 18 and they go out into the workforce, or we drop them off at college. And let me tell you, I've been on the receiving end of this many times where kids come in for the first time. They've never been in by themselves. And maybe the parent thinks, they have a cold. You know, just go, go in by yourself. And I say, okay, do you have any allergies to any medications? I don't know. Let me text my mom. What is. Do you have any past medical history? Any medical issues I need to know about? I don't know. Let me text mom. I had one kid. I say kid. It was a young adult. And they're filling out the forms. And the, question is, who do you want us to call in case of emergency? Do you want to know what this teen wrote? They wrote, 9, 1, 1 call 911 in case of emergency. And so I think just even the concept of emergency contact, it was like, yes, that's helpful. We'll do that. So we've got to have that balance. And again, I'll talk more about that. But as Christian parents, we are called to train up our children in the way that they should go. That's Proverbs 22, 6. And so that doesn't mean controlling every choice forever, but we need to focus on equipping them to make wise decisions that are rooted in truth and compassion and discernment. So.

Your influence as parent remains powerful, much more powerful than any other influence in their life

So even if the law is granting them independence sooner than you'd prefer, which is Sometimes a reality that's a policy battle to face, on another day, in another way. But your influence as parent remains so powerful, much more powerful than any other influence in their life. And the way to make that a superpower is to build it on love and trust. And so that controversy around consent, it can feel like a wedge between parents and children, but it doesn't have have to be. So create open dialogue. If you do that, your child is much more likely to involve you and their healthcare encounters and their choices, even when they don't legally have to, because providers generally want what you want. We want your kid, your family to be safe. We want your family to be healthy. We want your family and your child to thrive. And so approaching those, conversations with curiosity with your child can be really, really helpful in that.

And so let's talk about preparing that transition to independent care

And so let's talk about preparing that transition to independent care. Because one of the greatest gifts that you can give your child is confidence then in managing their own health and then taking on the mantle to manage the health of their own family. That transition has got to happen gradually. So start small. So let young children answer basic questions, like when they say, how are you feeling? Don't jump in immediately and say, well, they have a fever and they have this and they have that, that. Let them answer, let them talk about that. That's really important. You're going to get more information about that, too. And around middle school, step back and allow them to ask their own questions. Help them know what questions to ask, Help them to have that voice in there. That's really important. And by around the age of about 14, a lot of times, kids can start to be able to handle the basics of that encounter. They can be confident in knowing what their medical history is, what their beliefs are, what values are, what their goals and treatment are, seeking out, talking about what medications they're allergic to, all of those kinds of things. That's really important. And if you trust your healthcare provider, sometimes it's just about preserving their dignity during a physical exam. So when you leave, you don't have to be fearful. When you leave, that conversation is going to go on that you don't know about. It can just be about advocating for themselves, taking care of themselves, and just not being, completely embarrassed sometimes during that physical exam. So let them know if you do that, though, that you'll always be available afterward to talk through anything important that you're standing right outside the door. Talk about that beforehand. Especially for the teenagers, you know what that's going to be. If it's non Negotiable that you're not leaving, talk about that. Or if they want you to stay, that can be the best. Sometimes they can say, no, I want my parent to stay. That is fantastic. That is a great thing. But a healthy relationship with that provider is built on open communication. So asking them, okay, how do I contact you between visits? What happens after hours? What happens in emergencies? How do you approach mental health screenings? How do you involve parents when a child shares something private? So if that provider says, okay, I'd like to talk to your child alone, you can ask, okay, I'd like to know all of the questions that you ask and any screening tools that you're going to have. And if you're comfortable with that, then that's, that's one thing. If you're not comfortable with that, say, I'm not comfortable with that. I'd like to stay and listen to the conversation and guide my child through that. Ultimately you have the right to that. But again, that's something that's best discussed between you and your child as well. So they know going in where your presence is going to be, that can be really, really important. Now, when and, and always talk to them afterwards. Okay, what did they talk about? What, how do you feel about that? All of those kinds of things can be really, really helpful. Again, there's a lot of nuance there. There's a lot of specifics there. I know there's a lot of you thinking, no way am I ever leaving my kid alone. And some of you are thinking, yeah, m. Absolutely. I, to have that opportunity. And again, that you know your child best, you know your healthcare provider best, you know your child's health situation best. But the goal is to have a mutually respectful, open, trusting relationship between parent, child and provider that you feel comfortable with. And that's the bottom line. Cultivating that is so important.

It's important for kids to get regular preventive health care

Now I want to talk for just a minute about preventive visits and well, child visits, because those are the backbone of preventive health care and really important for kids to get regular checkups, to get their height, their weight, their developmental milestones, make sure they're on track. We look at things like vital signs and blood pressure. And here's where my professional lens comes into play. Because we have a lot of parents who are equipped with a lot of information that you get from reputable sources, from trusted sources. There's a lot of open source information now where you can learn about your child's developmental milestones and all of those, those things. But there's also something to be said for experience in a healthcare provider. So I'm going to give you a couple examples here. I once diagnosed or, discovered and helped lead to a diagnosis of kidney cancer in a child. Now they came in and they just had an abnormal blood pressure screening. That was it. No other symptoms. Now I know I'm striking fear in the hearts of parents thinking, oh, my gosh, I've got to go in and get my checkup. That's extremely rare. It's extremely rare. But we caught it early and that child had a great outcome. And I don't know what would have happened if it had been caught later when symptoms had progressed. But this is the value of partnering with someone who has pediatric expertise and not just relying on your own knowledge and relying on their expertise. You're the expert in your child. They're the expert in pediatric growth and development. And I think about that kid a lot. Now here's another example. I had a mom who came in with a problem, Precious, beautiful, amazing newborn baby. And she was so pleased with his little freckles that he had all over. Now what I noticed is that though, yes, those freckles were absolutely adorable, but it was actually indicative of a genetic condition called neurofibromatosis. And that was us partnering together. She noticed all of those adorable freckles. I noticed that that could be indicative of a condition. So again, this is part of the partnership of. Not everything is as scary as that. But those are, those are the reasons why it's important just to have regular preventive healthcare. Whether you're newborn, a teen, a toddler, or a grown up. Those early interventions can be really helpful because we want to live healthy lives for our families and to be able to enjoy them and to disciple them and to grow with them and, to help mentor their spiritual growth for as long as we possibly can. That is really important. So when your child is going to go to that, that care, appointment, really, children of all ages should know what to expect before entering the exam room. So it's really important to talk through the visit before you get there and to explain the steps in really age appropriate language and tell them, okay, we're going for a checkup. We're going to sit in the waiting room, then we'll go back to the room. This is what's going to happen. They'll take your blood pressure, your temperature, the care provider provider. Introduce them by name before you even see them. They'll come in, they'll check you, they'll listen to their heart, your lungs, whatever that will be. And then we'll go. Now a lot of kids are going to ask the question that they always ask is, am I going to get a shot? That's the question that they ask a lot of times. And it, that depends on their developmental age. So a good question for that is it. That's always a possibility. But we'll ask when we get there. We're going to focus on, on this first. And so you're not, don't, please, please don't lie to them and tell them, no, no, that's not going to happen when that does happen because that can break trust and that's really hard. And sometimes you can just say, yes, you will. And yes, it will be a little, it will be a little pinch, but we'll get through it together. That can be really important. And when we come back, I really want to talk about more about preparing your child for that care encounter and how you can help them to have safe body boundaries, ask their own questions, empower them to use their own voice. And I'll talk a little bit more about over medicalization and my concerns about that and what you need to know about that and how you can equip your family to be healthy. We'll see you right on the other side of this break with more guidance on taking care and selecting a care provider for your family. See you in a minute. Here.

Discover the story of the culture warrior Don Wildmon

In the Christmas season of 1976, I. Sat down one night to watch television. One man saw the battle coming. If we lose this cultural war, we're going to have a hedonistic, humanistic society. And he chose to stand and fight. If you will not respect our beliefs, then you will respect our money and we'll spend it with somebody else. Reverend Wildmon. Reverend Wildmon. The Reverend Donald Wildmon. Discover the story of the culture warrior Don Wildmon and how he went head to head with Hollywood playboy, the homosexual agenda and the Disney empire. Things were changing and many people just sort of acclimated to it. And Don Wildmon didn't. They thought, I think, that they could just crush him. The movement Don started paved the way for Christians to boldly stand for truth and righteousness in a hostile culture. Watch Culture Warrior today for free Visit culturewarrior.movie

I Thank God by Housefires, JWLKRS Worship, and Ryan Ellis : Soul. This bag of bones. I tried with all my might But I just can't win the fight I'm slowly drifting a Vagabond and just when I ran out of road I met a man I didn't know and he told me that I was not alone he picked me up He turned me around He placed my feet on solid ground I think the Master I think the Savior because he healed my heart and changed my name Forever free I am not the same I think the Master I thank the Savior I.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Thank God welcome back, friends. That is thank God by house fires. And I thank God for you, you. I thank you for listening in. I thank you for caring about your family.

Today is a day we're talking about choosing a care provider

And today is a day we're talking about taking care in choosing a, care provider. And it can be really, really hard. This is something that has become quite controversial unexpectedly. And I want to talk to you about the importance of needing health care. Everyone is going to need health care at some, point in their life. Life. And there's a lot of fear out there. What if we encounter people who don't share our beliefs? And I unfortunately could tell you some really scary stories about parents who have navigated that path and who have walked really traumatic paths. And, and that is absolutely a reality. And I do not want to deny that or diminish that at all. But it doesn't change the reality that all of us are going to need help at some point or another. Our kid is going to bust their gin and need some stitches, or we're going to have a cold that we need to get checked out, or we're going to have other symptoms that maybe are more worrisome. There are many who are navigating the healthcare system, living with family members, with children or other family members or loved ones who have chronic health conditions. And let me tell you, they are the experts. They know how to navigate the health system, and they may be a good resource for you. If you have a friend who has a chronic health condition, who has a child with a chronic health condition, you can ask their advice, because let me tell you, they know this is their life. This is very much their reality. And while the most of us, we don't have to encounter healthcare providers as often, most kids are healthy and have that luxury. They do. And so that may be something to think about. But I really want to encourage you now, whether you have newborns, teens, toddlers, or whether you're an adult, to connect, to intentionally look for a connection to a healthcare provider in your community, community who shares your beliefs, who you trust literally with your life. Because we do have an obligation to steward our health, and our families really care about us being healthy. When our kids look at us for safety, they are looking at our physical health. And when our physical health is threatened, their construct of emotional security is threatened. Because they worry about us. What's going to happen. What happens is if mom gets sick, what happens if dad gets hurt? Who's going to take care of them? What's going to happen? To me, it's really important that we have that connection there. And so I've been giving you some tips on, on how to choose a healthcare provider. But it's really important that you invest in that and do that now. Someone who knows you, who you trust. Now one of the things that I'm seeing in choosing a healthcare provider that and something that's just talked about in healthcare that I want you to be aware of, is a concept called over medicalization. Now that's a big, long word, but basically it's a tendency to treat normal variations of human health or minor complaints as a major medical problem. And some of that comes from the medical model just wanting to heal, wanting to fix. But some things are the way that God designed us to be. God designed human experience to have emotion. It is normal to feel anxiety at some point in your life. It is normal to feel depressed at some point point in your life. It is normal to have those human emotions. And so we've got to resist the urge to over medicalize everything. Not every human emotion is a symptom that needs a supplement. Not every human emotion or human experience or every minor thing that you have is something that needs major medical treatment. So we've got to have some balance there. So how do we have balance in that? Like we need to. There's some normal behavioral and developmental disease differences that aren't necessarily disorders. And so that is really important because sometimes when we over medicalize things that can really lead to unnecessary anxiety for families, it can increase exposure to side effects from unnecessary treatments and it drives up the cost and it erodes trust between providers and families. So here I'm going to pull back the curtain a little bit and give you some guidance into how we think about this things. So when I have a family who comes in, who I know very well, it's much easier for me to figure out what is going on and to partner with them because we can know. Okay, well, yes, your, your child is having these physical symptoms because a lot of times kids have physical symptoms of anxiety. They don't say I feel anxious. They say my tummy hurts and I can't sleep at night. But if I know, well, okay, I know he's still grieving the death of his grandmother. And I know developmentally that in this stage that grief can last a year or two. That's going to help me a lot better than a family I've never met before that I'm trying to sit down and get all of that information from and figure out the medical picture. It's just harder to do because I don't have as much information. So that's another reason why it's important for a family to know because those pieces of information are processing on a really high level in my mind and that's going to help me partner with the parents. Now sometimes it's so it's important to know like, because a lot of times what healthcare providers should do is give you options and a lot of times there's options. Okay, here's what we can do. Here's a minimal approach, here's the maximal approach. Where, what, where do you fall on this? What is going to give you that peace of mind and helping to partner? Now sometimes there's not options and that's there, but there's of lot, a lot of fear that drives that. And so we don't want to medicalize normal experiences and, but we fear a missing something serious. Oh, but what if it's, what if it's cancer? We think that, and I've already shared with you a story of that happens. But we shouldn't have the pressure to fix everything quickly. And that is one of the downfalls sometimes of the medical model is that we want to fix anything that's uncomfortable, fix anything that is in inconvenient and sometimes those things just need to work themselves out and that is okay. And, and, and that's all right to do so. Those are things important just to find a healthy balance, like trust but verify. So seek professional input, but you gotta balance. Don't go in there demanding. Okay, I want this test, I've already looked it up on the Internet and I want this specific lab, I want this specific treatment. I already have diagnosed myself. I just can't prescribe it or order the test. So I need you to do that, that but at the same time you don't have to say yes to everything that is offered to you. So how do you trust but verify? Well, it's going to go a long way if you already know that provider that you trust and learn. What are the signs of concern? What are things that do require medical treatment? Because sometimes what overmedicalization has done is when we have kids who have, who have tummy aches, we think oh well that's anxiety and we just kind of have this knee jerk reaction to think it's Mental health, when somebody, sometimes it may be something very physical. So that's really important. Know what is a sign of concern and that partnership with a provider is so important. So here's, here's some tips. One of the great things that you can do is work at home to keep your family out of the healthcare system. So do things at home that are going to keep your family healthy. And those things are just really basic. Basic looking at physical health, making sure that you are doing everything that you can to feed your family nutritiously, that you're prioritizing whole foods, fruits and vegetables and protein. Are you limiting as much as you can, sugar and processed foods. You don't have to be perfect at this, but is there something in your family's nutrition that you need to look at? You know, just talking with kids about moderation, not restriction, not, all of that, that's a whole show for another time. But are you moving together as a family? Are you playing together? Are you getting on the driveway and playing with a basketball? Are you taking walks together as a family? Are you being active? Are you, are you going on bike rides? Are you having a family dance party? Whatever it is for your family to move together, are you sleeping well? Are you having sleep hygiene? We talked about that in 52 Habits for Healthy Families. Limiting screen time before bed, having sleep hygiene, those are really important. Important. So just looking at those things, that's a great way to keep yourself out of the healthcare system, is investing in your family's health at home. That is a great way to go for mental and emotional health. Another way to keep yourself out of the healthcare system is normalizing feelings, teaching kids that sadness and frustration and worry and anger, these are all normal parts of life. And if we build coping skills, breathing exercises, praying, reading scripture, exercising literal exercise, limiting screen time, connecting with family, connecting with faith, those are all the building blocks of good mental, emotional health that's going to keep you out of the healthcare provider's office when you show up thinking maybe they've got a problem with their blood sugar or maybe they've got mono or something like that because their mental health has progressed to a point where it is manifesting itself physically. So that's a great investment in physical family health. Another great investment in family health is social and relational health. Encourage friendships, give opportunities for safe age appropriate socializing with people who share your worldview, around your kids. Model conflict resolution, showing healthy ways to handle disagreements, fostering resilience, letting them handle age appropriate challenges instead of rescuing them too quick. Quickly and being involved in the community, being involved in church, volunteering as a family, clubs, churches, all of these things boost mental health and these are the ways that you'll stay out. It's a great preventive way to prevent some of those stress points that happen when you encounter the healthcare system. And I'll be honest, nobody likes going. It's not like you have somebody coming into the office who thinks, this is the highlight of my day. I'm so glad that I'm here. Nobody wants to months to go. And so really think about, okay, what are ways that we can be healthier as a family to help prevent some of those preventable health conditions? That is, that's really, really helpful.

If your healthcare provider doesn't respect your values, that's a sign of concern

And so some other things to think about are when you have to potentially leave a healthcare provider, maybe you're thinking, okay, this is, these are signs of concern, like, maybe this is not the best fit for us. If they don't respect your family values and worldview, they're dismissive or even mocking of your faith, your culture, your parenting approach, that may be a sign that this partnership isn't, isn't going so well. Or if you feel pressured to accept treatments or decisions that conflict with your values without any room for discussion, that's a sign of concern. Or they're just refused to collaborate or acknowledge your role as a parent, those are signs of concern. If there's lack of respect for your family views or world value. Another sign of concern, something that shouldn't be normal in healthcare, is poor communication. If you go in and you feel like they are rushed, they're not listening to me. They're standing in the doorway, they are just saying, yeah, yeah, that's. I, I don't really feel like I've been heard. If you ask questions and they're irritated or they're giving you vague answers, or maybe using medical jargon you don't understand, understand, they're avoiding or minimizing your concerns. And you leave that visit feeling more confused and anxious than you feel reassured. That's a sign that that's not a good partnership, that that's not the right partnership for your family. And then in looking for that partnership, what does that look like? Well, it looks like the having a shared decision making model, that really is the best thing, saying, okay, we're going to share an information, share our expertise, expertise to help come to the best decision for the child. Now ultimately the parent is the authority on that, but the child should be involved in that decision making too. It's really helpful to know, you know, it's that they have voice because here's the thing, if they have voice in that decision, they're going to be more invested, they're going to be more willing to take that medication, maybe that is needed for that time or go to that therapy that is needed for that time. That is really important. A provider should always respect your right to a second opinion or that is really important. If you say, you know what, I really want a second opinion, that is a perfectly healthy thing to do. Other things to look for are if they're not addressing your child as a whole person, if they're just looking at physical health and they're not talking about mental, emotional or developmental needs, that's really important. Your provider should give consistently good care, they should address your concerns as important and they should partner with you effectively. And some of the other practical things are, is it possible to get an appointment? Can you get a hold of them? Do they have, are they accessible? Are do they answer your portal messages or your calls in and good times time? Or is there a clear after hours or urgent care plan? And is their staff as supportive as they are? Honestly that can be helpful because sometimes you don't have the best provider in the world and maybe you just feel like the staff is a barrier there. And those are all important things. So if your gut tells you that something's off, if you leave an appointment, you feel uneasy, you feel dismissed, you are dreading going to appointments rather than eager to get an answer, to get some support, those are things that may say that you need a new partnership and it's not a failure. This is an act of advocacy because children need someone who listens and respects and partners with both them and their parents in the healthiest way. And so it's better to make a change early than to stay in a relationship that just leaves you second guessing your child's care. And I want to end by saying that there are a of lot, lot of really fantastic healthcare providers out there. Every single one of us needs health care, none of us avoiding it. And no amount of Google searching or self diagnosis can replace the wisdom of a trained professional who will partner with you. Choosing a trusted provider is so important. And if you have one you trust, tell them you appreciate them today. And as you do, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you even in healthcare.

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Jeff Chamblee: Opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

Jessica talks about getting children and teens connected with health care providers and how to find providers that align with your family's worldview.