Preborn needs your help to provide ultrasounds for pregnant women
Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello.
: And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama Show Prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families and what a day we are having. I am coming to you live here. It is Tuesday, I think, and we are in the aftermath of winter storms that have spring swept the nation. And I know that there are so many who are so deeply impacted. And I was living, I'm living in an area where we were not severely impacted. And although I have lived through that before, please know that if you are living in that aftermath, know that there are so many, including me, who are thinking of you, who are praying for you. And I encourage you to do what you can to help if you are not impacted. Donate to an organization that is working in that area, check on your friends and family, see what you can do to help. And if nothing else, please do not underestimate the power of praying for people who are impacted. And I know there are so many, including those around the radio station and just all across the country. And we are also looking at other headlines that just seem like 2026 has just started very, very, in a very difficult way. And here we are again looking at the news and just feeling overwhelmed, looking. You're probably opening your feed and seeing lots of debate, lots of really big feelings about things that are happening, headlines that are happening, and there are a lot of people talking about those and giving great information about those and analysis. What I want to do today is something I don't see as many people talking about, but I think is really, really important. I want to talk about seeing these events through the eyes of our children and how we as adults can help children to develop a faith, informed perspective. These kinds of events that happen, whether it be a storm, whether it be a political conflict, whether it be a, tragedy that has happened, it doesn't matter. Just anything scary that happens on the news, kids are watching this and in real time we're talking about worldview formation. That is really big, important stuff. And these kinds of things can seem like they're very distant and they don't really impact kids. Maybe you're thinking, okay, but we don't live in the storm path, or maybe we don't live in the area that's experiencing conflict or violence or protest or whatever the case may be. But the world is a lot smaller now because of social media. And kids see this stuff much more than you think that they do. And even elementary age are sitting at lunch tables, they're talking about it, they're sitting in church groups talking about it, they're sitting at the ball fields talking about it. And kids are hearing things, they're listening to things and they're wondering how should they respond. So I want to give you some insight into how the world has changed, how it's impacting kids, why this is impacting kids, and what you can do about it. That's the most important thing. And I, want to remind you one of my favorite verses, Psalms 46:1, remind you from Scripture. God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in trouble. And we have been already Starting this year, 52 habits for healthy families where habit number one was prayer, which I've already encouraged you to do. Habit number two is memorizing scripture. And it is times like these when there are fear saturated messages that are just seem to come over and blanket our homes, our hearts, our communities. We need to remember these messages of hope. Psalm 46:1. God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in time of trouble. Well, I think we are definitely in a time of trouble. Another Great verse, Psalm 56:3. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. And so if you're feeling afraid just about anything, that's a great verse to tell yourself to speak over your family. And many families right now are navigating real time stressors, as I said, winter storms that are impacting everyday life, even being without power, having school closed, images of unrest, of violence, of protests that are filling the news and social media feeds. Children are not immune to these moments, even when we're not paying attention. And for you parents, grandparents, anybody invested in the lives of kids, whether they're little or maybe not so little, they're asking, you're probably thinking this like how much do I tell them, how much do they know? How do I keep them safe and talk to them about it without also scaring them? What if I don't feel calm myself about it? And so Today we'll really talk about disaster preparedness and crisis response. These are not secular acts. These are acts of faith. They are acts of stewardship over our family. No matter how old your family is, no matter what age or stage of life you are in, Scripture reminds us and these are the messages we need to remember for our family. We may not know what the future holds, but we hold the future. And God's sovereignty is one of those, the hardest concepts to remember, to hold on to. Because we can think, if all of these bad things are happening, how can we serve a God that's good when the world seems anything but, but God is suffering, is sovereign and trusting. God does not mean ignoring preparation. It doesn't mean, you know, staying not involved. It doesn't mean not caring. It just means preparing and responding without panic, without fear, as much as we can, as much as is humanly possible. And here's a really, really strong truth that you need to think about as adults, as any adult in the world today, whether you have children or not, you are interpreters of the world for children around you. They are looking to you to interpret the events of the world and to see how they should respond. Children are borrowing from our nervous systems, from our response, our worldview, our life experience before they can develop their own. They watch how we respond, they watch our emotions, our facial expressions, even more than they're hearing what we are saying. So no matter your child's age stage, no matter what you're experiencing, where you live, what you're going through, there are developmentally appropriate, faith informed ways to help kids feel safe and seen and secure and to help strengthen their biblical worldview. Preparation is about predictability, about knowing what's going to happen. Some things we can know what's going to happen, some things we don't. But how do we find those things that we know are predictable? How do we find moments of connection even when we feel wildly disconnected? When you're disconnected from Wi fi or power or your community because you can't drive places or. And they're looking for those things, not fear. And what children need most in uncertainty. I know it's so hard because we want to meet all of their human needs. We want to give them power, which is important and sometimes is. Life is a life threatening situation. But we want to give them the best food, we want to give them the comfort that they have, their creature comforts, their usual routine. But here's what they need most. They need consistency as much as possible. And while our circumstances are not consistent, the way that we care for them can be consistent. Kids need simple, honest information. They need you to be truthful, but in a simple way that meets them developmentally where they are. And here's another really important thing. Kids need a sense of agency. Now what do I mean by that? I mean they need a sense of power, of something, of confidence, of competence that I can do something. Even little toddlers want something that they can do. What can I do to help? Rather than just sitting there feeling helpless like they can't do anything, do anything in this situation. So help your kids, engage them in preparedness in response. That can be really, really helpful and really help kids to regulate emotionally and cognitively and in their neurological system. Kids also need reassurance that's rooted in relationships and knowing that, hey, this can feel like a scary time, but you're not alone, I'm here with you. We're going to get through this together. Those are the kinds of simple messages that we often overlook because we want to fix the world's circumstances. Instead, what really when we focus on the basics, God's given us that grace that we can help kids get through things like that. And it's important that we give language that's reassuring without being dismissive. So for example, saying God is with us and we are going to. He's equipped us to do things, to take care of our family and grownups are here to keep you safe. You can say things like that. And we want to avoid over spiritualizing fear. Acting like kids who are in elementary school shouldn't be afraid at all because God is with us. Don't be afraid. It's just that simple. It's, I know you're afraid and God is with you. And God has not given you a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And when you are afraid, you put your trust in God. Do you see how speaking scriptures is so is so important acknowledging their feelings but also acknowledging that God is with them.
We also want to avoid catastrophic language
We also want to avoid catastrophic language. I really want to talk about this because this is what sells on the news, on the Internet, on social media. You, they're trying to give you language that is catastrophic so that it will compel you to click on that link and see what is going on. Because when you say, hey, everything's okay, but here's some things that you can do to help keep your family safe. That's right. Probably not going to get as many clicks as in disaster looming. Act now or your life is in danger. These are the kinds of messages our kids are seeing.
When you use catastrophic language it communicates fear without anything else
So let's talk about this about catastrophic language from a faith lens. Now catastrophic language can be very secular because it magnifies threats without pointing to hope. It's just all bad news all the time. And it suggests that chaos is reigning rather than God being sovereign. So we can acknowledge both things are true, that God is sovereign and the world is a mess and we don't understand that sometimes. And we, we when you use catastrophic language it communicates fear without anything else. Just yep, you should be afraid. This is awful. Period. The end. And we want to say yes, this is really scary, this is really hard. But God sees us. God knows, he cares even when we don't understand. And when we speak catastrophic language it undermines kids understanding of adults taking care of them and God taking care of them. And especially those who think concretely. That's in the starting in the toddler stage up through adolescence, through the teen years. They internalize adult words as truth. Anything that you say is truth to them because they believe that you're their parent and because you said so, because you said it was true. It is true. That's a weighty responsibility and that's something we have to take to the Lord in prayer.
Faith centered reframes can help kids deal with difficult situations
So let's talk about some faith centered reframes that we can have. So everything. So here's a message that I'll give you that I'm hearing a lot and how we can reframe it. I'm going to give you several of these. Okay. Instead of everything is falling apart that implies disorder is winning. It contradicts the biblical truth that God sustains all things. We can say, hey, some things feel really hard right now, but God, but God is still holding us and we are facing this together. We are going to stick together as a family. Instead of this is the worst thing I could imagine. This is the worst thing that could happen that's harmful because it teaches children that suffering is unbearable. There's no room for redemption, there's no room for growth. It's just all bad. A ah, faith informed reframe is hey, this is hard. This hurts God. But God meets us in the hard places. We are not alone. Instead of the world is not safe, you're not safe anywhere. That distorts a kid's understanding that God is their refuge and ever present help in time of trouble. And it can make them just feel afraid all the time. So reframe it. The world is broken, but we can lean on God and we can take wise steps to care for one another. You see how all of these but God statements that is so important for kids to know instead of I don't know how we're going to get through this. I, I don't know what's going to happen. That signals despair rather than dependence on God and it places an immers an emotional burden on kids. How about Shirai? I don't have all the answers yet, but God is faithful and we will take this one step at a time. Saying nothing like this has ever happened before. Nothing, like this. I don't understand it. That removes the biblical perspective of God's faithfulness through history and it makes children feel like anything can happen. How about this is new for us. But God has carried people through hard seasons throughout all of time and he still does. And I trust that he will instead of you should be scared. And this is serious. That commands fear. Instead of cultivating wisdom, it teaches children that fear is the right response here and operate from a place of fear. And you can say this is important. This is a really big deal and adults are paying attention. But God gives us wisdom to respond with wisdom, with calmness. You might hear if we don't do any everything right, if we do not respond, if we do not do something XYZ right now, something really terrible is going to happen. And that is communicating performance based safety. That kids always have to be on the lookout for their safety. Which yes, they do have to be wise about their safety. But you can say we're doing our best to be wise, but God's care for us doesn't depend on us being perfect. You might even say, I can't handle this anymore. And that suggests emotional abandonment. How about I'm, feeling overwhelmed, but I'm turning to God to trust even when I don't understand. You might say people are losing their minds. This dehumanizes others that are made in God's image. So we can say when people are afraid, they sometimes acts in ways that aren't loving. But God calls us to be kind even when other people aren't. And if you say this could happen to us at any moment, you can say, hey, right now we're safe. God is with us today and we're going to handle things after they come. Listen, when we come back, I'm going to talk more about preparing your kids for disaster or chaos in a faith formed way. I'll be right back after this break.
Preborn network clinics help women choose life through a free ultrasound
We're living in a time when truth is under attack. Lies are easy to tell, easy to spread, and Easy to believe, but truth. Truth is costly, and nowhere is the cost greater than for mothers in crisis. When a woman is told abortion is her only option, silence and lies surround her. But when she walks into a preborn network clinic, she's met with compassion, support, and the truth about the life growing inside her. That moment of truth happens through a free ultrasound, and it's a game changer. When a mother sees her baby and hears that heartbeat, it literally doubles the chance she'll choose life. Preborn network clinics are on the front lines, meeting women in their darkest hour, loving them, helping them choose life, and sharing truth. Friend, this is not the time to be silent. It's a time for courage, for truth, for life. Just $28 provides one ultrasound and the opportunity for a mother to see her baby. To help her choose truth and Life. Donate today, call pound 250 and say baby, that's pound 250, baby. Or give online at preborn.com/AFR that's preborn.com/AFR.
I've Witnessed It by Melodie Malone and Passion: Again, you're worthy, God, you're worthy of all of it your promises never fail I've got stories I live to tell so I pour out my praise Again, you're worthy, God, you're worthy of all of it
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is I've witnessed it by Melodie Malone. And I couldn't think of a better message to bring to you today because as we're watching events in the world unfold, I just feel like, oh, my goodness, what is happening? What is going to happen next? And so many of us are looking at conflict and chaos and we're thinking, oh, have we ever been in a point in the world at this? And we get a lot of messages like that from the news. But just saying this is unprecedented. That was the word of the year starting in the, post Covid era, which still gives us all the shutters as we think about all of that conflict and chaos that has happened. But we have witnessed God's faithfulness and we will witness it again. And that is the message that we're holding on to today. And that is the message that I'm coming to you with today. How do we give our families faith, informed perspective and not be driven by fear, acknowledging the hard things that are happening in the world today, but also using that opportunity to give our kids and frankly, our spouses and the rest of our family encouragement and just a hope, a beacon of hope going forward. One of the ways that we've talked about that is, is having, doing something good, doing something good for Someone else. And one thing that you can do that we're still working on is you can donate to PreBorn. We are having a campaign to raise money for ultrasounds. And Your gift of $28 provides one woman seeking an Abortion a free ultrasound. You can call 877-616-2396, that's 877-616-2396 or go online afr.net and you can donate to PreBorn. And we would love to have you to join in on that campaign. especially as so many have been distracted by all of the winter storms and all of the preparation that's happened. We would love for you to jump in and help us meet our goal of 5,000 ultrasounds. And when we're looking at, when we're looking at the messages that are given, we hear a lot of apocalyptic language. Now I want to give, give you some caution in that because we even hear in church circles a lot of talk about the end times. Now I want to give you some perspective on how kids think, how God designed their brains to think. They think in very literal terms. Now I learned this as a nurse. Like imagine things like telling a child they're going to get a CAT scan. Well, they're thinking about an actual CAT and things like that. But when you say the end times, that means, well the world is pretty much ending today. That means the world is ending. And we, we have to give them more context for that. That can be frightening for literal thinking children. And we need to make sure that we, even in all of these times of chaos, that we are getting on our kids eye levels, looking them in the eyes and telling them in a loving way. Messages that are faith informed, things like God is close to those who are hurting. Even when feels like it is upside down. God's love for you will never change. Those things really matter because children learn by watching. They learn about who God is by watching how adults talk about their faith in times of crisis. And children learn whether faith is a refuge or a source of fear. They learn how to regulate their emotions by observing the tone of that adults are using and the trust that adults are expressing. So if adults are looking and sounding panicked, kids are going to feel panicked. If, if adults are looking and sounding angry, kids are going to feel afraid. Most any adult emotion is going to generate child fear, adult negative emotion. Now of course it's normal for us to have those emotions. It's normal for us to feel angry when we look at things that are happening. It's normal for us to feel Afraid those things are Norma. And that's where the but God message comes in so clearly. And we need to label our emotions for our kids and tell them, I am feeling angry, but here's how God is helping me through it. I am feeling worried, but here's how I'm turning to God in that. And when we use that catastrophic language that this is awful, the world is ending, and our emotions match that even when we're well intentioned, our kids are going to have a heightened baseline of anxiety. And it can undermine their spiritual security. It can associate faith with fear. So ask yourself when you're talking, in your home about current events, even when you think your kids aren't listening, ask yourself, do my words help my child? My children see, God is near, God is steady, God is trustworthy. God is sovereign. Children don't need adult level theology because that can be hard to understand. They just need truth that is wrapped in safety. They need faith that is modeled with calmness. And they need hope.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Hope.
Dr. Jessica Peck: They need words of hope that are spoken out loud. And so children don't need all of the information that's really important. You want to hold things from them, but you only want to tell them what they need to know in the moment. And you can tell them, you don't have to be fearless to lead faithfully. You don't have to be fearless to have faith. God gives us faith even in the midst of our fear. He did it so many times in the Bible. You can talk about so many stories, thinking about Daniel facing the lions, going back to basics about Peter stepping out in the storm. You don't have to be fearless to have faith. And God has entrusted your children to you not because you're perfect, but because he is equipping you to be present in that moment. And every storm, whether that's a literal storm, like an ice storm or a cultural storm or any kind of storm, our children are going to learn how to feel safe, who is walking with them and what faith looks like under pressure. And you can tell them, the world may feel unsafe, but God has not changed. God is with you everywhere that you go.
One thing you can do to help is to prepare your family for an emergency
So one thing that you can do to help is to prepare your family for an emergency. And there's some really practical things that you can do in teaching your kids to steward your home, to steward your safety, to steward your family. So just universal preparedness. This might be a really good time to go to your family and say, hey, what are we going to do? Let's just talk about keeping our family safe. And the things that we are doing. Because when your kids hear that you're thinking about that, and not only that, that you're acting on it, it can give them some reassurance. So do you have a basic family emergency plan? Again, no matter your age or stage of family, who do you call when there's an emergency? Who do you check on? Who do you need to take care of? Where do you go if something happens to your house? Where do you go and what happens if you're separated? How do you get back together? How do your kids contact you? These are just basic things to talk about. It may also be really, wise just to pack a go bag, just to have in case of emergency. And I'll tell you, the nurse in me definitely has this because you never know when you're going to go to the emergency room, go to the hospital, whether you're going to be out of your house for a little bit, you're going to go help a friend. So just having a bag that you can just pick up and take with you so that you can go at any time, that is really important. And talk to your family about what you would do in specific physical emergencies, things like a storm or a blizzard. Do you have a plan for powder out, for power outage? Do you have a plan for how will you stay warm? How will you get food? How will you get water? And talk your kids through these things? Because even now in this winter storm, people, I remember even talking to my adult children reminding them, you can lose power in a winter storm. Well, how can that happen? We don't usually have winter storms here. Well, ice is on the line. They need to know these kinds of things and talk with them about what could happen and what you can do about it. For tornadoes, what would you do? Having a drill without drama of what do you do if there's a fire in your home, if there's a flood? And emphasize we are going to be more prepared than we are scared. And the more that you prepare, then the less scared that you will be. And most importantly, the less scared your kids will be because they will know that you have thought through these things and you have prepared for them. That is really important. And, and preparedness when we are doing activities to prepare, whether that's in the face of an emergency and preparedness, it should shape wisdom. It should not imprint fear like, oh, no, what if this happens? Just think, if this happens, we are prepared. Now, one way we have really seen this happen in disaster preparedness that I wanted to talk about Today is active shooter drills. Now we see a lot of this happening and for many children when we have these kinds of drills, when, even when they're very well intentioned and drills, I'm talking about fire drills, about tornado drills, storm drills, probably a lot of you I know I hear from a lot of, older, generation maybe who think about nuclear fallout drills getting under your desk, which that really wouldn't do anything. But the message is still the same throughout generations. You feel like the world is inherently unsafe and danger is everywhere. And especially for kids, school should be a place of safety. And often it becomes a place that's associated with threat. And now we are seeing violence against churches, where children may be afraid to go to churches, or violence that's happened in grocery stores or other public spaces. And there's a fear of going out. We are seeing kids have a fear and they really want to stay in. And we get the messages like violence is inevitable, it's going to happen. And when we do those drills, framed without context, they can feel like, okay, well this is going to happen. I just don't know when it's going to happen. We need to make sure we're saying these things. Although so tragic, they are rare. They are rare. And especially for young children, they may feel that they are responsible for their own survival or survival around them. And that burden for young children can be really developmentally inappropriate and very spiritual. Heavy. Spiritually heavy. So when we talk about, you know, with just this anxiety and we respond from this hypervigilance and this, oh, gosh, this, these bad things are going to happen, then kids can feel more anxious, that can be difficult for them to concentrate. It can really impact their sleep at home. And they can start to have what we think are behavioral, responses, which they're really not behavioral responses. They can be trauma responses. Because even when you have a simulated threat through a disaster preparedness exercise, it's still activating the same stress pathways as it would if it was a real danger. And for some of those children, drills are practice for how to die, how to get hurt, not how to be safe. And sometimes you can see regression in younger children who are hearing messages of disaster, who are living in a, in the aftermath of a disaster. And those can come with separation anxiety or just, just clinginess or just being irritable or just afraid. And when we see kids who just carry that burden with them, especially in teenagers, they may start to feel kind of cynical, like the world is not safe and everyone's powerless to do anything. About it. And we just, they can feel anger towards institutions. They can lose their trust and authority figures. That is really sobering to think about. And in some ways, sometimes this kind of attitude toward disaster preparedness can be harmful spiritually.
Children need to understand that adults are responsible for protecting them, not themselves
Because when we talk about these things without the context of spiritual formation, they're looking at, okay, who can protect me and who can't? Are adults trustworthy to be able to protect me or not? Is God's world ordered or chaotic? Is it good or is it bad? Is God good or is he not? And we don't want to give messages like God is distant and whatever's going to happen is going to happen and safety is fragile and fear is the dominant lens here. That is not the message of scripture. The message of scripture comes to us from 2nd Timothy 1:7. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound, mind. So what can we do about it? That's really the important thing we need to shift our language from this is so that you are prepared in case something horrible happens, in case somebody comes in here and tries to hurt you. Imagine if we reframe that to, hey, this is a safety practice so adults know how to take care of everyone. If there's an emergency that it seems like that's okay, you may think, oh, that's not that big of a deal. That really does reframe so powerfully for kids. How to process that experience. And kids need to understand that adults are responsible for protecting them. Their job is to listen, to stay with trusted grownups. And yes, they do need to do some things to help protect themselves. But we need to make sure they, that we're giving community based messages that we're all in this together. We'll help each other. Because for young children we don't want to be too realistic, that can be too overwhelming. We also don't want to do things as a surprise. We want to prepare them. We're going to have a practice drill tomorrow. We're going to have a fire drill at school. They should be prepared so parents can talk to them. And we want to focus on, on, staying with your teacher. Make sure that you're listening and having those calm transitions. For older children again, it's really important to give advance notice whenever you can. Let them ask questions, even questions that seem silly, even questions that seem simple, like, how could you not know that? Just answer their questions with patience and kindness and explain that and make sure you're emphasizing that these events are rare. It's not inevitable. They're rare. And emphasize that community and care, that we are going to take care of each other and you'll be safe in community. And children should never feel like if they mess up something awful is going to happen or they're responsible for saving others. We need to tell them grownups are trained to help you are cared for and help them process after they practice something. Just what did you notice about your body that can seem really simple or like kind of a strange question to ask. But they can say my hands got really sweaty, my mouth got really dry. And you could say that's how God designed your nervous system, that those are survival reflexes. That's good. Here's what you do when you feel that way. Ask them what questions they have, ask them what helped them feel safe and tell them fear does not mean that you are weak or there's something wrong with you. Big feelings don't mean that your faith is too small. We want to, we know that evil exists, but it doesn't rain. It doesn't have the end of the story. God is present even when things are scary, when things are broken, when things are hurting. And that is really important to do. And so we've got to prepare because we love our family, not because we expect the worst to happen. We teach safety without saying that we don't have to walk around in fear all the time, not experience joy. We can acknowledge brokenness in the world without giving a throne to the feeling of fear. We can trust God while also acting wisely to protect protect our families. Children do not need to believe the world is safe to feel safe isn't that powerful. They just need to know they're loved, they're protected, they're cared for, they are never alone. And when we come back, I'm going to talk about some developmental strategies what kids do after they feel stressed. And I'm going to talk a lot about violence in the media and the exposure that they have to some really scary things. And how do we raise digitally discerning kids to see and interpret these messages through a faith informed lens? Got a lot more right after this break.
: The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations. You can't use it to change the the oil in your vehicle or get rid of carpet stains. It won't walk the dog, won't pick up the dry cleaning or take the kids to practice. But while you're doing those things, you can listen to your favorite AFR content through the app on your phone, smart device or Roku Just go to your app store or visit afr.net listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app.
Gratitude by Brandon Lake: So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again Cuz all that I have is a hallelujah Hallelujah. I know it's not much but I've nothin' else fit for a King except for a heart singin'
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Gratitude by Brandon Lake and hey, no matter what you are facing today, if you are in the path of this winter storm that is sweeping the nation, we are praying for you. There is always something to be grateful for. And as I've seen social media feeds, there can be a good thing in that. I've seen so many acts of kindness. Neighbors shoveling each other's driveways, bringing each other warm food, sharing resources saying come and stay at my house because I have power. Showing up with chainsaws to cut down exploding trees. Who knew that that would happen? Didn't even know that that was a thing and that has impacted so many people. And we are praying for you. If you are listening in on the radio, maybe you're sitting in your car right now trying to get warm and praying for your safety and your community and your recovery. And we're talking today about how kids interpret all of those messages. When we turn on the news, it's pretty bad. We hear a lot of bad news. But one of the best ways that we can counteract bad news is by doing something good for other people. And we want to give you one last invitation to join in on our preborn campaign to sponsor ultrasounds for women. Your gift of $28 provides one woman an ultrasound the opportunity to choose life for her baby. You can call in at 8776162396-That's 877-6-16-2396 or donate online at afr.net and even little kids need the opportunity to help a neighbor to take a mug of hot chocolate over to someone who is in the cold or whatever it may be. It is amazing how God puts it in our hearts to serve and how that make feel the feelings of competence and confidence really are ah research backed to help kids develop resil in hard times.
You should limit news exposure to young children, especially on social media
And I want to talk about violence in the media and exposure to bad things because that is what sells and media companies and social media influencers, they're trying to get views because that's how the business model works. And because of that we see children exposed to messaging, exposed to news, exposed to bad news frankly earlier, faster and more vividly than ever before. And the reality of Modern exposure is that violence is no longer limited to the evening news. It's not carefully curated, it's not blurred out, it's not reviewed by a bunch of people before it is showed. It's not given with a disclaimer. It just happens right away. And this is not normal for the human experience to see violence happen live on camera, in high definition over and over and over again. And what I've seen in the aftermath of some of the violence that has occurred that's been on the news this week and what's happened in Minnesota, what's happened with Charlie Kirk, with other, violence that's happened is it happens in slow motion and then people do it frame by frame by frame. That is a, not a normal way to consume and process what that means, especially for kids. And when we see this on social media, it removes any context that may have happened, it removes any boundaries that may happen, any ability to self filter, to self censor, and it removes the developmental filters that really should be there because kids are not able to process this. And children often see these images before adults even realize these events are happening. I know that has happened with my children where they have told me they have been the, they have become the news to me and I am in news, I am connected and yet my kids will see this happening at lightning speed and we just cannot keep up with it. And so it is really important to safeguard kids without isolating them, recognizing they are going to hear these kinds of things. But try to limit news exposure as much as you can, especially for young kids. We get our news from a trusted source. You should discuss that with your family. Where, what sources? You take trust and then turn off the news and not watch it over and over and over again. That it, that can be really anxiety inducing for kids. And be cognizant of the adult conversations that you're having in front of young children. They are listening way more than you think sometimes because they don't listen when we tell them to do the dishes or their chores. And they seem to have selective hearing. Their minds are like a police scanner, but they're looking for things that are threats to their safety. And if mom and dad are worried, worried that's a threat to my safety, I should be worried. Use parental controls, use content filters. Teach your kids how to use those too, because honestly we should be using those as well so that you're not blindsided by violent images as you're scrolling there. Delay personal devices whenever possible, especially for younger kids. But when, when exposure has already happened. When kids are seeing these things that have happened in the news, they are watching the adults around them, whether it's their coach, their teacher, their parents, their grandparents. And here's what they're watching for. The first thing they look for is facial expressions. Now, it's amazing. You can watch babies do this on videos where parents will have a facial expression and then kids will. Even babies less than a year of age will respond to that facial expression. If parents look scared, if they look upset, babies will mirror that image. And kids do that too. They're looking for, what does your face say about this more than your words say about it? The second thing they're looking for is the tone that you're using. Are you calm or are you worried? Are you scared? What is your emotional reaction? Now, the great news about this is parents, grandparents, other caring adults, even for your spouse, you can be an emotional anchor for them and you can help them to recognize that, yes, this is really hard, but God is good. But I am here with you, but I am praying for this. That is really important. Another thing to remember is that developmental responses to violence exposure can be different. Those responses vary based on temperament, on personality, on birth order. Some people are just naturally more sensitive to those kinds of things, and that's okay. It also impacts people differently. If they've experienced prior trauma or loss, that can impact them more. We can think, why are you being so sensitive about this? When they have had experiences that legitimately increase their sensitivity. There is no one size fits all approach. And so one child may ask questions, another may just act out, and another may just go silent and retreat. Those are all developmentally normal reactions, depending on the age and stage and temperament of the child. So here are four questions. Let me give you four questions that you can ask at home. You can have this at your dinner table when you're driving. Just say, what do you know about the events that are going on in the world? What do you know about what's going on? And if they say, what do you mean? Just say, well, just what are you hearing about today? And then news. Just what do you know? Ask them, what do you know? After they tell you what they know, ask them, number two question, how do you feel about it? How do you feel about it? And they could say, I don't. Maybe they'll even say, I don't know how to feel about it. I don't really know. I'm just feeling kind of uneasy. Should I be worried about this? Should I not? Or I'm feeling really scared about It I'm feeling really angry about it. Third question is, what can I do to help make you feel supported? Supported? What can I do to support you? And maybe they'll say, you know what? We need some family time. You know what? I want you to get off your phone. You know what? I want you to turn off the news. You know, I, I want us to have a family dinner. I want us to do something fun. I want to play a game. I I. And they may tell you something even more serious, like, do we have supplies if our power goes out? Do I need to feel unsafe? when I'm walking out down the street, like, what do I need to do to feel safe?
There are healthy habits you can create to use to have safety in an unsafe world
Question number four. What do you think you could do in this situation to make a difference? Now, I've shared this story before, but I'll share it again. I asked one of my children these questions after we had experienced a school shooting very close to home. And as I've come to expect, my kids know about it a lot more than I think that they would know about it. And predictably, they were not feeling really good about it, feeling pretty scared about it, asking about, what can I do to help you feel safe? When I asked that question, my child told me that they were sitting, and this was in elementary school, they were sitting at the lunch table discussing whose parents were getting them bulletproof backpacks. I, didn't even know such a thing existed. But this was a reality in their world. I wouldn't have known if I didn't ask that question. And when I asked, what can you do to make a difference? I was working at the hospital where some of those children were being taken care of. And my child asked, can I write letters? Can I make cards for them for you to take to work? And it was so powerful to see you, just to see a child feel so empowered by a small act of grace and to see the receiver feel so touched that someone they didn't know cared about them. This empowers children. It builds agency, which builds competence and confidence and resilience. And it reinforces connection. And the truth is, there are healthy habits that you can create to use to have safety in an unsafe world. And the good news is we're talking about those all this year. Every Friday, we talk about these habits. And when you build in these habits, they build in resilience, so that when scary things happen, you can think, okay, yeah, those scary things happen. But we're praying together regularly as a family. We are reading scripture and speaking scripture over each other regularly. As a family, we are going to church and connecting with other people who share our worldview, who share our concerns, who share our heartache, our heartbreak, our fears, our worries. And we're going to walk with them and be encouraged. We are listening to music that is uplifting to us, that is encouraging to us, that is speaking words of life, not words of melancholy and death. We are practicing gratitude, finding something to be thankful for. Even when it seems like there may be nothing to be thankful for, there's always something to be thankful for. We're having daily devotionals, and guess what? Our daily devotional spoke exactly to this circumstance. Today, God is in the details. And we have a morning routine that we know that no matter what's un, what's unpredictable in the world, our morning routine is predictable. I'm going to get up in the morning, I'm going to tell you I love you, I'm going to make coffee, and we're going to have a little chaos and we're going to listen to whatever we're listening to on the way to work. We have a bedtime routine where I will always tell you I love you at night. These are just some examples of the healthy habits that can build resilience. Eating meals together, just being present over being perfect. And that is how we raise digitally discerning families, and we help our kids to learn media literacy. Romans 12:2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And we start with that biblical framework for truth. We teach kids how to evaluate media, but first they have to know what truth is before they can do that. Truth is not determined by what is culturally in the moment, what is most popular, what is most emotional, what is repeated most often, what is heard the most. God's word is a reliable anchor even when we get conflicting cultural messages. And not everything presented as news is meant to be is meant to inform you. It's, it's meant to persuade you and, or, provoke you or profit off of you. And so we tell them screens show us someone else's version of reality. It's part of the story, it's not the whole story. And so it's your diagram job to be discerning in the voices that you're listening to and always compare what you're listening to to God's truth. And kids think, though it sounds like surely they wouldn't think this, but they think if it's on a screen, it must be true, because they think about the news just the same Way we thought about the news growing up, that if Walter Cronkite tells us it's so, then we believe that we take that as truth. They believe the same thing. And if many people agree, if I'm on an influencer platform and I see who follows this person, person, well then they must be right because that, that person, you know, a lot of people follow algorithms, amplify when they get attention, not when they're accurate. And fear and outrage and shock, those are far greater commodities than truth. They've spread faster than the truth. And so people can choose what to show and what to leave out. Wisdom. Ask questions. Wisdom has, wisdom has the, the, the capacity for dialogue. Let your kids ask questions about what this means for their biblical worldview and give them gentle answers. And so for young kids, you're going to make sure that they trust the caregivers more than they trust voices that they're seeing on the screen. You can do that by co viewing media with them and helping them interpret those messages that they're getting saying, okay, this is pretend, this is a story. This is not true. We can tell them that. And if something scares you, you tell a grown up. And for those older school age kids, just teach them simple discernment questions like who made this content? Why do you think people want to see it? How does this content make you feel? And help them notice music and images and wording that influences their emotion? Not all information is accurate. And for teenagers, they may ask, what's missing from this story? Who benefits if I believe this, what they're telling me? Is this designed to lead me to truth or to entertain me or to provoke me? And we need to listen. We need to listen to our kids. And so you can have a simple screen test. This is S, C, R E, E, N. I'll leave you with this. Who S is source? Who is saying this? Are they trustworthy? C is context. What's happening around this clip, around this quote? What's happening that there? R is reaction. What is this trying to make me feel? E is evidence. What's facts support it? E is everyone does this honor people made in God's image and N is next steps. What does wisdom suggest I do with this? I know I went through that really quickly as we're running out of time, but the point is to have conversation, to teach emotional discernment, not just electional, intellectual discernment. Children have to learn that strong emotions can reduce your capacity for critical thinking and fear and anger sometimes bypass wisdom. And we know that scripture tells us be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. And so we can model discernment in our own media use by verifying sources and turning off the media when it overwhelms your peace. But most of all, create some family rhythms that anchor truth that is so important. Oh, there's so much more I have to say. But you are not raising children to fear the world. You are raising them to navigate it wisely, to have a hope that doesn't disappoint. You don't have to be fearless to be faithful. And I pray wherever you are, the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I'll see you right back here tomorrow. We'd like to thank our sponsors, including PreBorn. PreBorn has rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion. And every day their network clinics rescue 200 babies lives. Will you join PreBorn in loving and supporting young moms in crisis? Save a life today. Go to preborn.com/AFR the views and.
Jeff Chamblee: Opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
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Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello.
: And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama Show Prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families and what a day we are having. I am coming to you live here. It is Tuesday, I think, and we are in the aftermath of winter storms that have spring swept the nation. And I know that there are so many who are so deeply impacted. And I was living, I'm living in an area where we were not severely impacted. And although I have lived through that before, please know that if you are living in that aftermath, know that there are so many, including me, who are thinking of you, who are praying for you. And I encourage you to do what you can to help if you are not impacted. Donate to an organization that is working in that area, check on your friends and family, see what you can do to help. And if nothing else, please do not underestimate the power of praying for people who are impacted. And I know there are so many, including those around the radio station and just all across the country. And we are also looking at other headlines that just seem like 2026 has just started very, very, in a very difficult way. And here we are again looking at the news and just feeling overwhelmed, looking. You're probably opening your feed and seeing lots of debate, lots of really big feelings about things that are happening, headlines that are happening, and there are a lot of people talking about those and giving great information about those and analysis. What I want to do today is something I don't see as many people talking about, but I think is really, really important. I want to talk about seeing these events through the eyes of our children and how we as adults can help children to develop a faith, informed perspective. These kinds of events that happen, whether it be a storm, whether it be a political conflict, whether it be a, tragedy that has happened, it doesn't matter. Just anything scary that happens on the news, kids are watching this and in real time we're talking about worldview formation. That is really big, important stuff. And these kinds of things can seem like they're very distant and they don't really impact kids. Maybe you're thinking, okay, but we don't live in the storm path, or maybe we don't live in the area that's experiencing conflict or violence or protest or whatever the case may be. But the world is a lot smaller now because of social media. And kids see this stuff much more than you think that they do. And even elementary age are sitting at lunch tables, they're talking about it, they're sitting in church groups talking about it, they're sitting at the ball fields talking about it. And kids are hearing things, they're listening to things and they're wondering how should they respond. So I want to give you some insight into how the world has changed, how it's impacting kids, why this is impacting kids, and what you can do about it. That's the most important thing. And I, want to remind you one of my favorite verses, Psalms 46:1, remind you from Scripture. God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in trouble. And we have been already Starting this year, 52 habits for healthy families where habit number one was prayer, which I've already encouraged you to do. Habit number two is memorizing scripture. And it is times like these when there are fear saturated messages that are just seem to come over and blanket our homes, our hearts, our communities. We need to remember these messages of hope. Psalm 46:1. God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in time of trouble. Well, I think we are definitely in a time of trouble. Another Great verse, Psalm 56:3. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. And so if you're feeling afraid just about anything, that's a great verse to tell yourself to speak over your family. And many families right now are navigating real time stressors, as I said, winter storms that are impacting everyday life, even being without power, having school closed, images of unrest, of violence, of protests that are filling the news and social media feeds. Children are not immune to these moments, even when we're not paying attention. And for you parents, grandparents, anybody invested in the lives of kids, whether they're little or maybe not so little, they're asking, you're probably thinking this like how much do I tell them, how much do they know? How do I keep them safe and talk to them about it without also scaring them? What if I don't feel calm myself about it? And so Today we'll really talk about disaster preparedness and crisis response. These are not secular acts. These are acts of faith. They are acts of stewardship over our family. No matter how old your family is, no matter what age or stage of life you are in, Scripture reminds us and these are the messages we need to remember for our family. We may not know what the future holds, but we hold the future. And God's sovereignty is one of those, the hardest concepts to remember, to hold on to. Because we can think, if all of these bad things are happening, how can we serve a God that's good when the world seems anything but, but God is suffering, is sovereign and trusting. God does not mean ignoring preparation. It doesn't mean, you know, staying not involved. It doesn't mean not caring. It just means preparing and responding without panic, without fear, as much as we can, as much as is humanly possible. And here's a really, really strong truth that you need to think about as adults, as any adult in the world today, whether you have children or not, you are interpreters of the world for children around you. They are looking to you to interpret the events of the world and to see how they should respond. Children are borrowing from our nervous systems, from our response, our worldview, our life experience before they can develop their own. They watch how we respond, they watch our emotions, our facial expressions, even more than they're hearing what we are saying. So no matter your child's age stage, no matter what you're experiencing, where you live, what you're going through, there are developmentally appropriate, faith informed ways to help kids feel safe and seen and secure and to help strengthen their biblical worldview. Preparation is about predictability, about knowing what's going to happen. Some things we can know what's going to happen, some things we don't. But how do we find those things that we know are predictable? How do we find moments of connection even when we feel wildly disconnected? When you're disconnected from Wi fi or power or your community because you can't drive places or. And they're looking for those things, not fear. And what children need most in uncertainty. I know it's so hard because we want to meet all of their human needs. We want to give them power, which is important and sometimes is. Life is a life threatening situation. But we want to give them the best food, we want to give them the comfort that they have, their creature comforts, their usual routine. But here's what they need most. They need consistency as much as possible. And while our circumstances are not consistent, the way that we care for them can be consistent. Kids need simple, honest information. They need you to be truthful, but in a simple way that meets them developmentally where they are. And here's another really important thing. Kids need a sense of agency. Now what do I mean by that? I mean they need a sense of power, of something, of confidence, of competence that I can do something. Even little toddlers want something that they can do. What can I do to help? Rather than just sitting there feeling helpless like they can't do anything, do anything in this situation. So help your kids, engage them in preparedness in response. That can be really, really helpful and really help kids to regulate emotionally and cognitively and in their neurological system. Kids also need reassurance that's rooted in relationships and knowing that, hey, this can feel like a scary time, but you're not alone, I'm here with you. We're going to get through this together. Those are the kinds of simple messages that we often overlook because we want to fix the world's circumstances. Instead, what really when we focus on the basics, God's given us that grace that we can help kids get through things like that. And it's important that we give language that's reassuring without being dismissive. So for example, saying God is with us and we are going to. He's equipped us to do things, to take care of our family and grownups are here to keep you safe. You can say things like that. And we want to avoid over spiritualizing fear. Acting like kids who are in elementary school shouldn't be afraid at all because God is with us. Don't be afraid. It's just that simple. It's, I know you're afraid and God is with you. And God has not given you a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And when you are afraid, you put your trust in God. Do you see how speaking scriptures is so is so important acknowledging their feelings but also acknowledging that God is with them.
We also want to avoid catastrophic language
We also want to avoid catastrophic language. I really want to talk about this because this is what sells on the news, on the Internet, on social media. You, they're trying to give you language that is catastrophic so that it will compel you to click on that link and see what is going on. Because when you say, hey, everything's okay, but here's some things that you can do to help keep your family safe. That's right. Probably not going to get as many clicks as in disaster looming. Act now or your life is in danger. These are the kinds of messages our kids are seeing.
When you use catastrophic language it communicates fear without anything else
So let's talk about this about catastrophic language from a faith lens. Now catastrophic language can be very secular because it magnifies threats without pointing to hope. It's just all bad news all the time. And it suggests that chaos is reigning rather than God being sovereign. So we can acknowledge both things are true, that God is sovereign and the world is a mess and we don't understand that sometimes. And we, we when you use catastrophic language it communicates fear without anything else. Just yep, you should be afraid. This is awful. Period. The end. And we want to say yes, this is really scary, this is really hard. But God sees us. God knows, he cares even when we don't understand. And when we speak catastrophic language it undermines kids understanding of adults taking care of them and God taking care of them. And especially those who think concretely. That's in the starting in the toddler stage up through adolescence, through the teen years. They internalize adult words as truth. Anything that you say is truth to them because they believe that you're their parent and because you said so, because you said it was true. It is true. That's a weighty responsibility and that's something we have to take to the Lord in prayer.
Faith centered reframes can help kids deal with difficult situations
So let's talk about some faith centered reframes that we can have. So everything. So here's a message that I'll give you that I'm hearing a lot and how we can reframe it. I'm going to give you several of these. Okay. Instead of everything is falling apart that implies disorder is winning. It contradicts the biblical truth that God sustains all things. We can say, hey, some things feel really hard right now, but God, but God is still holding us and we are facing this together. We are going to stick together as a family. Instead of this is the worst thing I could imagine. This is the worst thing that could happen that's harmful because it teaches children that suffering is unbearable. There's no room for redemption, there's no room for growth. It's just all bad. A ah, faith informed reframe is hey, this is hard. This hurts God. But God meets us in the hard places. We are not alone. Instead of the world is not safe, you're not safe anywhere. That distorts a kid's understanding that God is their refuge and ever present help in time of trouble. And it can make them just feel afraid all the time. So reframe it. The world is broken, but we can lean on God and we can take wise steps to care for one another. You see how all of these but God statements that is so important for kids to know instead of I don't know how we're going to get through this. I, I don't know what's going to happen. That signals despair rather than dependence on God and it places an immers an emotional burden on kids. How about Shirai? I don't have all the answers yet, but God is faithful and we will take this one step at a time. Saying nothing like this has ever happened before. Nothing, like this. I don't understand it. That removes the biblical perspective of God's faithfulness through history and it makes children feel like anything can happen. How about this is new for us. But God has carried people through hard seasons throughout all of time and he still does. And I trust that he will instead of you should be scared. And this is serious. That commands fear. Instead of cultivating wisdom, it teaches children that fear is the right response here and operate from a place of fear. And you can say this is important. This is a really big deal and adults are paying attention. But God gives us wisdom to respond with wisdom, with calmness. You might hear if we don't do any everything right, if we do not respond, if we do not do something XYZ right now, something really terrible is going to happen. And that is communicating performance based safety. That kids always have to be on the lookout for their safety. Which yes, they do have to be wise about their safety. But you can say we're doing our best to be wise, but God's care for us doesn't depend on us being perfect. You might even say, I can't handle this anymore. And that suggests emotional abandonment. How about I'm, feeling overwhelmed, but I'm turning to God to trust even when I don't understand. You might say people are losing their minds. This dehumanizes others that are made in God's image. So we can say when people are afraid, they sometimes acts in ways that aren't loving. But God calls us to be kind even when other people aren't. And if you say this could happen to us at any moment, you can say, hey, right now we're safe. God is with us today and we're going to handle things after they come. Listen, when we come back, I'm going to talk more about preparing your kids for disaster or chaos in a faith formed way. I'll be right back after this break.
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I've Witnessed It by Melodie Malone and Passion: Again, you're worthy, God, you're worthy of all of it your promises never fail I've got stories I live to tell so I pour out my praise Again, you're worthy, God, you're worthy of all of it
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is I've witnessed it by Melodie Malone. And I couldn't think of a better message to bring to you today because as we're watching events in the world unfold, I just feel like, oh, my goodness, what is happening? What is going to happen next? And so many of us are looking at conflict and chaos and we're thinking, oh, have we ever been in a point in the world at this? And we get a lot of messages like that from the news. But just saying this is unprecedented. That was the word of the year starting in the, post Covid era, which still gives us all the shutters as we think about all of that conflict and chaos that has happened. But we have witnessed God's faithfulness and we will witness it again. And that is the message that we're holding on to today. And that is the message that I'm coming to you with today. How do we give our families faith, informed perspective and not be driven by fear, acknowledging the hard things that are happening in the world today, but also using that opportunity to give our kids and frankly, our spouses and the rest of our family encouragement and just a hope, a beacon of hope going forward. One of the ways that we've talked about that is, is having, doing something good, doing something good for Someone else. And one thing that you can do that we're still working on is you can donate to PreBorn. We are having a campaign to raise money for ultrasounds. And Your gift of $28 provides one woman seeking an Abortion a free ultrasound. You can call 877-616-2396, that's 877-616-2396 or go online afr.net and you can donate to PreBorn. And we would love to have you to join in on that campaign. especially as so many have been distracted by all of the winter storms and all of the preparation that's happened. We would love for you to jump in and help us meet our goal of 5,000 ultrasounds. And when we're looking at, when we're looking at the messages that are given, we hear a lot of apocalyptic language. Now I want to give, give you some caution in that because we even hear in church circles a lot of talk about the end times. Now I want to give you some perspective on how kids think, how God designed their brains to think. They think in very literal terms. Now I learned this as a nurse. Like imagine things like telling a child they're going to get a CAT scan. Well, they're thinking about an actual CAT and things like that. But when you say the end times, that means, well the world is pretty much ending today. That means the world is ending. And we, we have to give them more context for that. That can be frightening for literal thinking children. And we need to make sure that we, even in all of these times of chaos, that we are getting on our kids eye levels, looking them in the eyes and telling them in a loving way. Messages that are faith informed, things like God is close to those who are hurting. Even when feels like it is upside down. God's love for you will never change. Those things really matter because children learn by watching. They learn about who God is by watching how adults talk about their faith in times of crisis. And children learn whether faith is a refuge or a source of fear. They learn how to regulate their emotions by observing the tone of that adults are using and the trust that adults are expressing. So if adults are looking and sounding panicked, kids are going to feel panicked. If, if adults are looking and sounding angry, kids are going to feel afraid. Most any adult emotion is going to generate child fear, adult negative emotion. Now of course it's normal for us to have those emotions. It's normal for us to feel angry when we look at things that are happening. It's normal for us to feel Afraid those things are Norma. And that's where the but God message comes in so clearly. And we need to label our emotions for our kids and tell them, I am feeling angry, but here's how God is helping me through it. I am feeling worried, but here's how I'm turning to God in that. And when we use that catastrophic language that this is awful, the world is ending, and our emotions match that even when we're well intentioned, our kids are going to have a heightened baseline of anxiety. And it can undermine their spiritual security. It can associate faith with fear. So ask yourself when you're talking, in your home about current events, even when you think your kids aren't listening, ask yourself, do my words help my child? My children see, God is near, God is steady, God is trustworthy. God is sovereign. Children don't need adult level theology because that can be hard to understand. They just need truth that is wrapped in safety. They need faith that is modeled with calmness. And they need hope.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Hope.
Dr. Jessica Peck: They need words of hope that are spoken out loud. And so children don't need all of the information that's really important. You want to hold things from them, but you only want to tell them what they need to know in the moment. And you can tell them, you don't have to be fearless to lead faithfully. You don't have to be fearless to have faith. God gives us faith even in the midst of our fear. He did it so many times in the Bible. You can talk about so many stories, thinking about Daniel facing the lions, going back to basics about Peter stepping out in the storm. You don't have to be fearless to have faith. And God has entrusted your children to you not because you're perfect, but because he is equipping you to be present in that moment. And every storm, whether that's a literal storm, like an ice storm or a cultural storm or any kind of storm, our children are going to learn how to feel safe, who is walking with them and what faith looks like under pressure. And you can tell them, the world may feel unsafe, but God has not changed. God is with you everywhere that you go.
One thing you can do to help is to prepare your family for an emergency
So one thing that you can do to help is to prepare your family for an emergency. And there's some really practical things that you can do in teaching your kids to steward your home, to steward your safety, to steward your family. So just universal preparedness. This might be a really good time to go to your family and say, hey, what are we going to do? Let's just talk about keeping our family safe. And the things that we are doing. Because when your kids hear that you're thinking about that, and not only that, that you're acting on it, it can give them some reassurance. So do you have a basic family emergency plan? Again, no matter your age or stage of family, who do you call when there's an emergency? Who do you check on? Who do you need to take care of? Where do you go if something happens to your house? Where do you go and what happens if you're separated? How do you get back together? How do your kids contact you? These are just basic things to talk about. It may also be really, wise just to pack a go bag, just to have in case of emergency. And I'll tell you, the nurse in me definitely has this because you never know when you're going to go to the emergency room, go to the hospital, whether you're going to be out of your house for a little bit, you're going to go help a friend. So just having a bag that you can just pick up and take with you so that you can go at any time, that is really important. And talk to your family about what you would do in specific physical emergencies, things like a storm or a blizzard. Do you have a plan for powder out, for power outage? Do you have a plan for how will you stay warm? How will you get food? How will you get water? And talk your kids through these things? Because even now in this winter storm, people, I remember even talking to my adult children reminding them, you can lose power in a winter storm. Well, how can that happen? We don't usually have winter storms here. Well, ice is on the line. They need to know these kinds of things and talk with them about what could happen and what you can do about it. For tornadoes, what would you do? Having a drill without drama of what do you do if there's a fire in your home, if there's a flood? And emphasize we are going to be more prepared than we are scared. And the more that you prepare, then the less scared that you will be. And most importantly, the less scared your kids will be because they will know that you have thought through these things and you have prepared for them. That is really important. And, and preparedness when we are doing activities to prepare, whether that's in the face of an emergency and preparedness, it should shape wisdom. It should not imprint fear like, oh, no, what if this happens? Just think, if this happens, we are prepared. Now, one way we have really seen this happen in disaster preparedness that I wanted to talk about Today is active shooter drills. Now we see a lot of this happening and for many children when we have these kinds of drills, when, even when they're very well intentioned and drills, I'm talking about fire drills, about tornado drills, storm drills, probably a lot of you I know I hear from a lot of, older, generation maybe who think about nuclear fallout drills getting under your desk, which that really wouldn't do anything. But the message is still the same throughout generations. You feel like the world is inherently unsafe and danger is everywhere. And especially for kids, school should be a place of safety. And often it becomes a place that's associated with threat. And now we are seeing violence against churches, where children may be afraid to go to churches, or violence that's happened in grocery stores or other public spaces. And there's a fear of going out. We are seeing kids have a fear and they really want to stay in. And we get the messages like violence is inevitable, it's going to happen. And when we do those drills, framed without context, they can feel like, okay, well this is going to happen. I just don't know when it's going to happen. We need to make sure we're saying these things. Although so tragic, they are rare. They are rare. And especially for young children, they may feel that they are responsible for their own survival or survival around them. And that burden for young children can be really developmentally inappropriate and very spiritual. Heavy. Spiritually heavy. So when we talk about, you know, with just this anxiety and we respond from this hypervigilance and this, oh, gosh, this, these bad things are going to happen, then kids can feel more anxious, that can be difficult for them to concentrate. It can really impact their sleep at home. And they can start to have what we think are behavioral, responses, which they're really not behavioral responses. They can be trauma responses. Because even when you have a simulated threat through a disaster preparedness exercise, it's still activating the same stress pathways as it would if it was a real danger. And for some of those children, drills are practice for how to die, how to get hurt, not how to be safe. And sometimes you can see regression in younger children who are hearing messages of disaster, who are living in a, in the aftermath of a disaster. And those can come with separation anxiety or just, just clinginess or just being irritable or just afraid. And when we see kids who just carry that burden with them, especially in teenagers, they may start to feel kind of cynical, like the world is not safe and everyone's powerless to do anything. About it. And we just, they can feel anger towards institutions. They can lose their trust and authority figures. That is really sobering to think about. And in some ways, sometimes this kind of attitude toward disaster preparedness can be harmful spiritually.
Children need to understand that adults are responsible for protecting them, not themselves
Because when we talk about these things without the context of spiritual formation, they're looking at, okay, who can protect me and who can't? Are adults trustworthy to be able to protect me or not? Is God's world ordered or chaotic? Is it good or is it bad? Is God good or is he not? And we don't want to give messages like God is distant and whatever's going to happen is going to happen and safety is fragile and fear is the dominant lens here. That is not the message of scripture. The message of scripture comes to us from 2nd Timothy 1:7. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound, mind. So what can we do about it? That's really the important thing we need to shift our language from this is so that you are prepared in case something horrible happens, in case somebody comes in here and tries to hurt you. Imagine if we reframe that to, hey, this is a safety practice so adults know how to take care of everyone. If there's an emergency that it seems like that's okay, you may think, oh, that's not that big of a deal. That really does reframe so powerfully for kids. How to process that experience. And kids need to understand that adults are responsible for protecting them. Their job is to listen, to stay with trusted grownups. And yes, they do need to do some things to help protect themselves. But we need to make sure they, that we're giving community based messages that we're all in this together. We'll help each other. Because for young children we don't want to be too realistic, that can be too overwhelming. We also don't want to do things as a surprise. We want to prepare them. We're going to have a practice drill tomorrow. We're going to have a fire drill at school. They should be prepared so parents can talk to them. And we want to focus on, on, staying with your teacher. Make sure that you're listening and having those calm transitions. For older children again, it's really important to give advance notice whenever you can. Let them ask questions, even questions that seem silly, even questions that seem simple, like, how could you not know that? Just answer their questions with patience and kindness and explain that and make sure you're emphasizing that these events are rare. It's not inevitable. They're rare. And emphasize that community and care, that we are going to take care of each other and you'll be safe in community. And children should never feel like if they mess up something awful is going to happen or they're responsible for saving others. We need to tell them grownups are trained to help you are cared for and help them process after they practice something. Just what did you notice about your body that can seem really simple or like kind of a strange question to ask. But they can say my hands got really sweaty, my mouth got really dry. And you could say that's how God designed your nervous system, that those are survival reflexes. That's good. Here's what you do when you feel that way. Ask them what questions they have, ask them what helped them feel safe and tell them fear does not mean that you are weak or there's something wrong with you. Big feelings don't mean that your faith is too small. We want to, we know that evil exists, but it doesn't rain. It doesn't have the end of the story. God is present even when things are scary, when things are broken, when things are hurting. And that is really important to do. And so we've got to prepare because we love our family, not because we expect the worst to happen. We teach safety without saying that we don't have to walk around in fear all the time, not experience joy. We can acknowledge brokenness in the world without giving a throne to the feeling of fear. We can trust God while also acting wisely to protect protect our families. Children do not need to believe the world is safe to feel safe isn't that powerful. They just need to know they're loved, they're protected, they're cared for, they are never alone. And when we come back, I'm going to talk about some developmental strategies what kids do after they feel stressed. And I'm going to talk a lot about violence in the media and the exposure that they have to some really scary things. And how do we raise digitally discerning kids to see and interpret these messages through a faith informed lens? Got a lot more right after this break.
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Gratitude by Brandon Lake: So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again Cuz all that I have is a hallelujah Hallelujah. I know it's not much but I've nothin' else fit for a King except for a heart singin'
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Gratitude by Brandon Lake and hey, no matter what you are facing today, if you are in the path of this winter storm that is sweeping the nation, we are praying for you. There is always something to be grateful for. And as I've seen social media feeds, there can be a good thing in that. I've seen so many acts of kindness. Neighbors shoveling each other's driveways, bringing each other warm food, sharing resources saying come and stay at my house because I have power. Showing up with chainsaws to cut down exploding trees. Who knew that that would happen? Didn't even know that that was a thing and that has impacted so many people. And we are praying for you. If you are listening in on the radio, maybe you're sitting in your car right now trying to get warm and praying for your safety and your community and your recovery. And we're talking today about how kids interpret all of those messages. When we turn on the news, it's pretty bad. We hear a lot of bad news. But one of the best ways that we can counteract bad news is by doing something good for other people. And we want to give you one last invitation to join in on our preborn campaign to sponsor ultrasounds for women. Your gift of $28 provides one woman an ultrasound the opportunity to choose life for her baby. You can call in at 8776162396-That's 877-6-16-2396 or donate online at afr.net and even little kids need the opportunity to help a neighbor to take a mug of hot chocolate over to someone who is in the cold or whatever it may be. It is amazing how God puts it in our hearts to serve and how that make feel the feelings of competence and confidence really are ah research backed to help kids develop resil in hard times.
You should limit news exposure to young children, especially on social media
And I want to talk about violence in the media and exposure to bad things because that is what sells and media companies and social media influencers, they're trying to get views because that's how the business model works. And because of that we see children exposed to messaging, exposed to news, exposed to bad news frankly earlier, faster and more vividly than ever before. And the reality of Modern exposure is that violence is no longer limited to the evening news. It's not carefully curated, it's not blurred out, it's not reviewed by a bunch of people before it is showed. It's not given with a disclaimer. It just happens right away. And this is not normal for the human experience to see violence happen live on camera, in high definition over and over and over again. And what I've seen in the aftermath of some of the violence that has occurred that's been on the news this week and what's happened in Minnesota, what's happened with Charlie Kirk, with other, violence that's happened is it happens in slow motion and then people do it frame by frame by frame. That is a, not a normal way to consume and process what that means, especially for kids. And when we see this on social media, it removes any context that may have happened, it removes any boundaries that may happen, any ability to self filter, to self censor, and it removes the developmental filters that really should be there because kids are not able to process this. And children often see these images before adults even realize these events are happening. I know that has happened with my children where they have told me they have been the, they have become the news to me and I am in news, I am connected and yet my kids will see this happening at lightning speed and we just cannot keep up with it. And so it is really important to safeguard kids without isolating them, recognizing they are going to hear these kinds of things. But try to limit news exposure as much as you can, especially for young kids. We get our news from a trusted source. You should discuss that with your family. Where, what sources? You take trust and then turn off the news and not watch it over and over and over again. That it, that can be really anxiety inducing for kids. And be cognizant of the adult conversations that you're having in front of young children. They are listening way more than you think sometimes because they don't listen when we tell them to do the dishes or their chores. And they seem to have selective hearing. Their minds are like a police scanner, but they're looking for things that are threats to their safety. And if mom and dad are worried, worried that's a threat to my safety, I should be worried. Use parental controls, use content filters. Teach your kids how to use those too, because honestly we should be using those as well so that you're not blindsided by violent images as you're scrolling there. Delay personal devices whenever possible, especially for younger kids. But when, when exposure has already happened. When kids are seeing these things that have happened in the news, they are watching the adults around them, whether it's their coach, their teacher, their parents, their grandparents. And here's what they're watching for. The first thing they look for is facial expressions. Now, it's amazing. You can watch babies do this on videos where parents will have a facial expression and then kids will. Even babies less than a year of age will respond to that facial expression. If parents look scared, if they look upset, babies will mirror that image. And kids do that too. They're looking for, what does your face say about this more than your words say about it? The second thing they're looking for is the tone that you're using. Are you calm or are you worried? Are you scared? What is your emotional reaction? Now, the great news about this is parents, grandparents, other caring adults, even for your spouse, you can be an emotional anchor for them and you can help them to recognize that, yes, this is really hard, but God is good. But I am here with you, but I am praying for this. That is really important. Another thing to remember is that developmental responses to violence exposure can be different. Those responses vary based on temperament, on personality, on birth order. Some people are just naturally more sensitive to those kinds of things, and that's okay. It also impacts people differently. If they've experienced prior trauma or loss, that can impact them more. We can think, why are you being so sensitive about this? When they have had experiences that legitimately increase their sensitivity. There is no one size fits all approach. And so one child may ask questions, another may just act out, and another may just go silent and retreat. Those are all developmentally normal reactions, depending on the age and stage and temperament of the child. So here are four questions. Let me give you four questions that you can ask at home. You can have this at your dinner table when you're driving. Just say, what do you know about the events that are going on in the world? What do you know about what's going on? And if they say, what do you mean? Just say, well, just what are you hearing about today? And then news. Just what do you know? Ask them, what do you know? After they tell you what they know, ask them, number two question, how do you feel about it? How do you feel about it? And they could say, I don't. Maybe they'll even say, I don't know how to feel about it. I don't really know. I'm just feeling kind of uneasy. Should I be worried about this? Should I not? Or I'm feeling really scared about It I'm feeling really angry about it. Third question is, what can I do to help make you feel supported? Supported? What can I do to support you? And maybe they'll say, you know what? We need some family time. You know what? I want you to get off your phone. You know what? I want you to turn off the news. You know, I, I want us to have a family dinner. I want us to do something fun. I want to play a game. I I. And they may tell you something even more serious, like, do we have supplies if our power goes out? Do I need to feel unsafe? when I'm walking out down the street, like, what do I need to do to feel safe?
There are healthy habits you can create to use to have safety in an unsafe world
Question number four. What do you think you could do in this situation to make a difference? Now, I've shared this story before, but I'll share it again. I asked one of my children these questions after we had experienced a school shooting very close to home. And as I've come to expect, my kids know about it a lot more than I think that they would know about it. And predictably, they were not feeling really good about it, feeling pretty scared about it, asking about, what can I do to help you feel safe? When I asked that question, my child told me that they were sitting, and this was in elementary school, they were sitting at the lunch table discussing whose parents were getting them bulletproof backpacks. I, didn't even know such a thing existed. But this was a reality in their world. I wouldn't have known if I didn't ask that question. And when I asked, what can you do to make a difference? I was working at the hospital where some of those children were being taken care of. And my child asked, can I write letters? Can I make cards for them for you to take to work? And it was so powerful to see you, just to see a child feel so empowered by a small act of grace and to see the receiver feel so touched that someone they didn't know cared about them. This empowers children. It builds agency, which builds competence and confidence and resilience. And it reinforces connection. And the truth is, there are healthy habits that you can create to use to have safety in an unsafe world. And the good news is we're talking about those all this year. Every Friday, we talk about these habits. And when you build in these habits, they build in resilience, so that when scary things happen, you can think, okay, yeah, those scary things happen. But we're praying together regularly as a family. We are reading scripture and speaking scripture over each other regularly. As a family, we are going to church and connecting with other people who share our worldview, who share our concerns, who share our heartache, our heartbreak, our fears, our worries. And we're going to walk with them and be encouraged. We are listening to music that is uplifting to us, that is encouraging to us, that is speaking words of life, not words of melancholy and death. We are practicing gratitude, finding something to be thankful for. Even when it seems like there may be nothing to be thankful for, there's always something to be thankful for. We're having daily devotionals, and guess what? Our daily devotional spoke exactly to this circumstance. Today, God is in the details. And we have a morning routine that we know that no matter what's un, what's unpredictable in the world, our morning routine is predictable. I'm going to get up in the morning, I'm going to tell you I love you, I'm going to make coffee, and we're going to have a little chaos and we're going to listen to whatever we're listening to on the way to work. We have a bedtime routine where I will always tell you I love you at night. These are just some examples of the healthy habits that can build resilience. Eating meals together, just being present over being perfect. And that is how we raise digitally discerning families, and we help our kids to learn media literacy. Romans 12:2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And we start with that biblical framework for truth. We teach kids how to evaluate media, but first they have to know what truth is before they can do that. Truth is not determined by what is culturally in the moment, what is most popular, what is most emotional, what is repeated most often, what is heard the most. God's word is a reliable anchor even when we get conflicting cultural messages. And not everything presented as news is meant to be is meant to inform you. It's, it's meant to persuade you and, or, provoke you or profit off of you. And so we tell them screens show us someone else's version of reality. It's part of the story, it's not the whole story. And so it's your diagram job to be discerning in the voices that you're listening to and always compare what you're listening to to God's truth. And kids think, though it sounds like surely they wouldn't think this, but they think if it's on a screen, it must be true, because they think about the news just the same Way we thought about the news growing up, that if Walter Cronkite tells us it's so, then we believe that we take that as truth. They believe the same thing. And if many people agree, if I'm on an influencer platform and I see who follows this person, person, well then they must be right because that, that person, you know, a lot of people follow algorithms, amplify when they get attention, not when they're accurate. And fear and outrage and shock, those are far greater commodities than truth. They've spread faster than the truth. And so people can choose what to show and what to leave out. Wisdom. Ask questions. Wisdom has, wisdom has the, the, the capacity for dialogue. Let your kids ask questions about what this means for their biblical worldview and give them gentle answers. And so for young kids, you're going to make sure that they trust the caregivers more than they trust voices that they're seeing on the screen. You can do that by co viewing media with them and helping them interpret those messages that they're getting saying, okay, this is pretend, this is a story. This is not true. We can tell them that. And if something scares you, you tell a grown up. And for those older school age kids, just teach them simple discernment questions like who made this content? Why do you think people want to see it? How does this content make you feel? And help them notice music and images and wording that influences their emotion? Not all information is accurate. And for teenagers, they may ask, what's missing from this story? Who benefits if I believe this, what they're telling me? Is this designed to lead me to truth or to entertain me or to provoke me? And we need to listen. We need to listen to our kids. And so you can have a simple screen test. This is S, C, R E, E, N. I'll leave you with this. Who S is source? Who is saying this? Are they trustworthy? C is context. What's happening around this clip, around this quote? What's happening that there? R is reaction. What is this trying to make me feel? E is evidence. What's facts support it? E is everyone does this honor people made in God's image and N is next steps. What does wisdom suggest I do with this? I know I went through that really quickly as we're running out of time, but the point is to have conversation, to teach emotional discernment, not just electional, intellectual discernment. Children have to learn that strong emotions can reduce your capacity for critical thinking and fear and anger sometimes bypass wisdom. And we know that scripture tells us be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. And so we can model discernment in our own media use by verifying sources and turning off the media when it overwhelms your peace. But most of all, create some family rhythms that anchor truth that is so important. Oh, there's so much more I have to say. But you are not raising children to fear the world. You are raising them to navigate it wisely, to have a hope that doesn't disappoint. You don't have to be fearless to be faithful. And I pray wherever you are, the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I'll see you right back here tomorrow. We'd like to thank our sponsors, including PreBorn. PreBorn has rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion. And every day their network clinics rescue 200 babies lives. Will you join PreBorn in loving and supporting young moms in crisis? Save a life today. Go to preborn.com/AFR the views and.
Jeff Chamblee: Opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
With most of the country in winter storm recovery and the news of ongoing protests, Jessica shares faith-based guidance for discussing children and teens.
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