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Dr. Jessica Peck is prescribing Hope for Healthy Families on American Family Radio
And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And it is exciting. It is a new year filled with new possibilities, filled with all kinds of unknowns. What's going to happen? What does this year have for us? It feels like ever since the infamous year of 2019, which I feel like should be always followed by a sound effect that goes dun, dun, dun, because it feels so ominous. We've just been kind of in survival mode as a people, as a country, just, well, maybe next year, well, maybe next year will be better. But that this year is the year that God has given you. This day is the day that God has given you. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. And you have some power, you have some choice over what this year will bring to you. Many things are beyond our control, but some things that are within our control are how we're going to lead our families with intention. And I want to challenge you right here early in the year to create some milestone moments with your family, to really pursue discipleship with intentionality. And we're going to be talking about that because maybe you got through the holidays and you think some things went great and some things revealed some rough spots when you have some tension, when you have extended family visiting, when you have travel, when you have kids who maybe aren't as grateful, dare I say, as they should be for Christmas or, or whatever the holiday stressors bring. Maybe it is just some of those realizations that, hey, we have a things that we need to work on and I have a guest here today who's going to help us do just that. We are talking to a, kids pastor today with more than 20 years of experience, Dustin Lee. He is passionate about partnering with parents, as am I, and equipping families to grow in their Faith. He serves as the kids pastor at Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas. He's a native of South Louisiana and a graduate of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Dustin is dedicated to helping kids and families know and follow Jesus. And he's been married to his wife alicia for over 17 years, and they have five children. Dustin, we're so glad to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining us.
Dustin Lee: Hey, thank you for having me. I'm excited.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Now, listen, we got to get something straight right away, because I feel like there's something in your bio that people, of a certain age, me, may be thinking Green Acres. I'm, starting to sing a little TV show in my mind. Now. Some people are going to say, like, what is that? It has. But it has nothing to do with the TV show. Right. I just feel like there's some people. That's a hanging question. I've got to, I got to make sure that we clear that up.
Dustin Lee: no, it has nothing to do with the TV show. It's just an area of our community here in Tyler. And I know that some of you are probably singing that song right now in your head.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's right. Well, Dustin, we're so grateful for all that you do. And you and I first met at a children's pastor's conference, and it always encourages me. I'm telling you, that's one of my favorite places to be, is to walk into a room full of kids pastors, because these are people who are optimistic, who are looking at the future, and they see hope, and they've dedicated their lives to equipping families and to pass faith on to the next generation. So I, I, you know, right away, our hearts, our missions are so synchronous. So I would love for you just to introduce yourself to our listeners and just tell them a little bit about yourself, about your, about how you met the Lord and how you called into ministry.
Dustin Lee: Yeah. Thank you for that. I'm just so excited to be here. And, you know, a little, A little bit of my story. I'm from South Louisiana. I have to tell you, my wife makes the best pot of gumbo. And,
Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay. Is that an invitation?
Dustin Lee: You never know. Come on. We'd love to have you, Christmas gumbo. In my, in my opinion, it is the best gumbo. And so.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay.
Dustin Lee: but we have, we have five children. we have Lucas, who's 13. This is our first time to be a parent of a middle schooler. We have Micah, who is 11. we have Tucker, who is 10, we have Elijah, that is 6. And our pandemic baby, our caboose is Carolina, who is four years old. a little of me coming to know Jesus. I gave my life to Jesus. It was the greatest decision I've ever made in my whole life at the age of 13. And my family, did not grow up going to church. And you know, a, ah, part of that season is, my family was actually going through a very rough season. And in that my dad came to know the Lord. And that man really changed the whole dynamics of our family unit. But also specifically my story, my own personal faith. But giving my life to Jesus at The age of 13 was just the best decision ever. at the age of 17, I surrendered, my life to the ministry. I was just willing to go wherever God called me to be. And you talked about how like kids, pastors, I really believe we have the best job in the church. I love, love, love what we get to do and it truly is a calling. And just like, I just can't believe I get to do this every day. I love it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I know. I feel the same way because people ask, you know, we see a lot of tragedy, a lot of tough things in the world, but there is about the faith of a child that is so inspiring. I mean children are just so earnest and they are so inspiring. I honestly think they're a lot braver than adults are. They're a lot more honest than adults are. It's just, I love, love, love working with kids.
Dustin Lee is a children's ministry leader at Green Acres
So tell us a little bit about your ministry, Dustin, and, and what you're seeing because, you know, you're living this personally with your five kids under the age of 13 and you're living this at work. What do you see going on in children's min over the last five years? How, how have things changed? What do you see that concerns you and what do you see that makes you hopeful and optimistic?
Dustin Lee: You know, one of the things that, where I'm just so hopeful is, you know, I love to partner with families in my role here at Green Acres. I give leadership from birth, to fifth grade. And a part of our role is anytime that children are in our care, we always teach the Bible. We always want to teach about, what God's wor says and God's plan for them. And we love of how God, speaks, to kids. And you know, one of my favorite, Bible stories is Jesus and the children from, Mark 10. And I love this story because it gives really, the picture of the heartbeat of kids ministry is you have the disciples that are literally walking with Jesus and here come the kids. You know, kids are sticky, they're loud, they're very, energetic. The disciples were like, hey, get out of here. This guy Jesus, he's important. And I love what Jesus did. He said, hold on, wait a minute. The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these and says, let us welcome, the children. And so I just see that our families have such a great need for people to partner with the parents and, and to serve the family unit.
Dr. Jessica Peck: This is encouraging to me. And I was actually recently at another children's ministry where they were talking about their philosophy in partnering. And they, everywhere that I looked, they had all of this, stuff that said we're the B team, like little stickers on their computer. And I said, okay, what is up with the B team? And they said, parents are the A team. Parents are the primary disciplers of their children. We're the B team. We're there to support them. And Dustin, I think this is a really hard thing for parents because it is so great to take your kids to church. Please do that. Take them regularly. Take them Sunday morning, take them Wednesday night. Take them to the programming that kids have. Just because that consistency from a developmental lens is so good. But I think it's. It's important to remember that the church is there to support, to reinforce what is there. So what are some ways that. That we really can take that discipleship and have the spiritual milestones at home and not just expect them to learn everything that they need to learn in Sunday?
Dustin Lee: Yeah, I think that that takes just really intentionality of like, really thinking through from. From that perspective of like, you know, it's a partnership. And the church is there to partner with the family unit and the parents. but it takes both parties to be willing in order for that to work. And, and, you know, I think about, you know, the most important decision ever is, is. Is a child's faith decision. And whenever they can fully understand and know, about their need for a savior. And, and when they make that decision, like, there's all different types of ways that you could really zone in on that to help, just that whole experience to be more rememberable as well as celebrate it and then.
Dr. Jessica Peck: But the church is working alongside you. So the church is working to create that structure and that rhythm. And it's always am to me how fast kids adapt to it. And it's good for them to see that Consistent presence of an adult there who cares about them, whether that is their kids, pastor, or the teacher that's there, their life group leader, whatever structure the church has. Having that rhythm there every week is so important. And when you do that, what I discovered is that my kids will hold me accountable. So there is no, like, if I am even, you know, five minutes behind and getting ready for church, they're like, you're going to church, right? Like, you're going. Because that's what we do on Sunday morning, right? They, they have that. I think that's really helpful. And so how does the church. How. What are you doing on your end? Give us a little peek behind the curtains there on the intentionality that goes into creating those environments for kids.
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I love in kids ministry, you know, you, you work a lot behind the scenes to make sure volunteers are in place, to make sure that Connect Group leaders are equipped. But also too, like, you know, we keep saying that the, parents are the primary disciplers, in the home. And, you know, one of the things that we just started doing that we have just seen a great response is, on Sunday afternoon at 4pm all of our families receive a text that is saying, ding. Hey. This is what your child learned today in Connect Group. You know, yesterday they learned about know it in the ark. And it says, hey, like, this is what they learn. Ask these three simple questions. And we actually put in parentheses the answers to those. But here's the key thing. We give them, just the encouragement of ask these questions tonight at dinner, press pause from technology, gather around the table. And, we have just seen a great response from our family. And really what we're wanting to do is we're wanting to tee up, you know, our parents to have these gospel conversations, in their home and around the family table.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's so important. That's the reason why it's a partnership. Because if you find a children's ministry where you can take your kids where they're safe, where they are nurtured, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, all of those things are so important. But you're giving the resources to be able to have those conversations at home and to be able to continue those. And it's really important too, Dustin. Parents need to know in a world that is really against Christian faith in a lot of ways, it's important for them to see other adults who are walking out those same values that we're talking about at home. I know I, you know, experienced this with my kids because I can say one thing, but, oh, you know, Ms. So and so, who said it? All of a sudden it's like, it's the most brilliant thing. And I think this is what I've been saying for like 12, you know, weeks, but that that's exactly how it's supposed to work.
What do you see as key factors to help kids make their faith their own?
And I think a lot of parents, you know, Christian, parents today, one of their biggest fears is that their kids will walk away from their f. And that is a very realistic fear because we see research playing that out. What do you see as the key factors of key protective factors to build in, to help kids make their faith their own?
Dustin Lee: You know, one of my greatest joys as a kid's pastor is meeting, with, the child and their parents when they make a faith decision. Anytime that a child makes a fake decision, I always include the parents, because again, it's a partnership. And whenever I meet with them, I always share like, hey, these are our two goals. number one, is, we want you to remember that the church spent time with you. And then number two, we want to make sure that you fully understand the decision that you're making because it is the most important decision. More important than who you'll marry one day, more important than where you'll go to college. Like, this is the biggest decision ever. And for me, I will spend probably about an hour to an hour and a half with each of those families. But to me, it's about the personal connection, it's about the relationship with the family unit and also too, of helping them to understand, clearly their God story. And you know, one of the things, you know, I remind children is that God never said that even if we're a Christian, that life would be perfect or that life would be easy. But what you Jesus said over and over and over again, he's like, I will always, be with you.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes, that is so good. And we're already our first break, but so much more to talk about helping parents to be the primary disciplers of their children. We'll talk about some practical helps and hope when we come back. See you on the other side of this break.
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Children of God by Third Day: Praise. To the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our God and our King to him we will sing in his great mercy he has given us life now we can be called the children of God Great is the love that the Father has given us for he has delivered us for he has delivered us Children of God sing your song and rejoice for the love that he has given our song. Children of. God by the blood of this song we have been redeemed and we can be called Children of God. Children of God.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Children of God by third day. And that's exactly what we're talking about today. We're talking about children. We're talking about kids. And this is something I definitely have felt called to my whole life. I am the oldest of five kids. I have four children of my own. I have a ton of nieces and nephews. I have worked in pediatrics my entire nursing career and now I teach people how to become pediatric nurse practitioners. I am very invested in children and I believe that they are one of the greatest gifts that God has given us to steward. And we're talking today about what it looks like specifically to shepherd children's spiritual journey not just on Sundays, but in the everyday moments at home. And I've been talking to Dustin Lee about how families can celebrate those spiritual milestones, how churches can reinforce discipleship all week long and those key milestone moments that help kids transition from I go to church because my parents take me or my parents make me to my faith is my own, that personal, lasting relationship with Jesus. And if there's one message that Dustin Lee as a kids pastor consistently champions is this. Parents are the most influential speed spiritual leaders in a child's Life now as your children start to get to that preteen age. And we feel like kids are getting older so much quicker than they used to. They're maturing so much more quickly. They have a lot more exposure to adult themes and contents than they used to. It's easy for parents to think, do I really have that kind of influence? But I can tell you from a scientific lens, from a research based lens, you absolutely do. There is nothing that replaces parental influence, especially when it is in the context of a healthy relationship. Even when it seems like you can't get your kid's face out of their phone, out of their video game, that they roll their eyes, they sigh, they say, y, I know mom. Yeah, I know dad. They are really listening and their mind kind of works like a police scanner just kind of constantly on in the background and they're listening to the conversation that you're having. They're especially listening to things that you say about them. And we have a really great opportunity to lead them in that conversation. Now you may be thinking, I really want to do this. I just don't know if I'm doing it well. So we're going to talk how you can be empowered as a parent and what a healthy partnership between the church and the home really looks like. And we're going to talk about some practical ways that ministry leaders can encourage parents who might just feel overwhelmed. Like, how am I supposed to fit this in? Or inadequate? Am I going to mess up my kid for life? That's a quiet question that I know is on the hearts of a lot of parents and really how churches design ministry that equips and not, not competes with discipleship that's happening at home.
Dustin says parenting is not always easy but it is worth it
And so, Dustin, I would love to just start off by just giving you, give you a minute to get up on a soapbox here and talk about how parents are the primary disciplers of their kids and how the church partners and what else you'd like to say about that.
Dustin Lee: You know, I, I, I think it is so clear in the Bible that the parents are the primary faith trainer and disciple maker in their homes. And I'm going to tell you, parenting, is not always easy. Parenting at times is very selfless. but the thing that I just have to tell you that it is worth it and even when it's hard and parents, can do it. And you know, one of the things I just think that is so important is that kids spell love T I M E T I M E. It is time. And when you start Looking at discipleship in the home, it requires time and full, your full attention. And, and children, they learn by example. They learn by example. And I think about my 4 year old right now is whenever, we spend time together, she wants all of my attention. And at times she will grab my face with both hands. It's like, look at me, daddy, like, look at me. And I think that's, that's such a picture of parenting in every season is intently just giving it all that we have. because again, it truly is worth it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It's, it's so true.
Some Christian parents say discipling their kids is their main priority
And speaking of soapboxes, I'll step on mine now, I'll take my turn because I talk about this all the time. And Christian parents are going to be quick to say, just like I am, hey, discipling my kids is my main priority. But sometimes my credit card and my calendar, it tells on me, you know, and it, and it is my accountability partner. And saying, well Jessica, you say that this is the most important thing and yet look at how you've spen to your point Dustin your time last week. And I think sometimes as parents the temptation in today's society is to really get caught up in making sure our children are prepared academically, that they're prepared socially, that they are prepared emotionally to meet the world. We talk a lot about those things, like where are they going to go to school, what kind of job are they going to get, you know, are they, do they have the social skills to make it in the world, are they emotionally healthy and mental health. But when we really look at how much time and if I'm gonna be really honest here, how much money we put into discipleship, investment, sometimes that doesn't always balance out. And so I think there's some parents that just feel overwhelmed. You know, they just feel like. And for a lot of different reasons. Let's talk first to the parent who feels overwhelmed just because of time thinking, all right, you send me that text message at 4:00 clock on Sunday afternoon. That's one more thing I have to do. How do we reframe our mindset on that? That.
Dustin Lee: You know, I think the thing where we have to shift our mindset is, is that I had several people 13 years ago. Whenever I had m our first child, they said it's going to go by fast. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm telling you I can't believe I have a middle schooler right now. And like, it won't be long. Like he'll have his driver's license. And like all of these things are like now, perspective for me. And you know, each season is different. And if I could be honest, I want to tell you something that my wife Alicia is. We, we are very passionate about family Devos. And when we had three kids under the age of three, oh my goodness.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I mean, like, I mean, please be young kid.
Dustin Lee: I mean, and not only that, by the way, we recently got out of diapers. We were in diapers for 13 years. Thank you, Jesus. but would do our devos at bedtime. And Jessica, it was like herding cats. Like, it was, it was not productive. There was something, there was something in my brain about 7 o' clock that's like, I need to stop talking. I need to start heading towards my own bed. And you know, Alicia and I, we, were celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. And I saw a family pray at the end of their, dinner time. And I was like, okay, I've never seen anyone do that before. I was like, tell me more. And, they said, well, their bellies are full, they're content, and they get to eat their food hot. And so, you know, we got back home and we thought about that. Now we still pray at the beginning of our dinner time, but we shifted our family devo at the end of our dinner time because we're already around a table, completely changed the productivity of that time together. And it really, was just a phenomenal, I think, transformation time of our discipleship journey with our children during that time, because we were talking about things of faith. And when my oldest son was making a faith decision, then his younger siblings were hearing about that around the table. And so it was like, we're inviting everybody together, together. But I will tell you this. The key to a good family Devo, is short and sweet. Short and sweet. We will share a high, a low, and a buffalo. The buffalo is something funny. And, you know, oh, it's so fun. Our kids love that part. And so like last night, my son Tucker, who is 10, actually read our Family Devo and he just, just, he loved it and he did a great job.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I love that we do highs and lows, but we've never done a buffalo. And I feel like that has, that has to go in there because that is just so much fun. And, and really, Dustin, you point out two things that are really important that I think parents should take away from this. First of all, consistency over perfection. It does not have to look like social media it does not have to be, you know, candlelight and jazz music and everyone just saying, oh, yes, this is so, you know, relaxing. This is great. Now we'll all sing together and then, you know, maybe pass an offering plate. Like, it does not have to look perfect. Sometimes it. You. You're in the middle of temper tantrums or bad attitudes or diaper changes or those kinds of things. So it doesn't have to be perfect. It's consistent. And the second thing that I think is really important about what you said is that, that you. Well, shoot, I just forgot what the second most thing that I was going to say. There's a second thing that is consistent and also. Well, d. Sure, it'll come to me. See, this is like. This is like real life devotional here. I feel like there was a squirrel, and that doesn't often happen to me, but here, here we are. Oh, I know what it is, okay. That your habit stacking that you're doing it with something that you're already doing as a family, you're going to eat every day, your kids are going to eat every day. And so doing it in that way is. That is the key to success as well, I think. Just not trying to make some production that's separate and that feels, you know, so different. It's doing it with the things that, that you're already doing. Dustin. I think that there's, some families who feel overwhelmed by the schedule of it, but there's also some families who feel overwhelmed because they feel like maybe they're not prepared to do that. Maybe they think I don't have a seminary degree. Or maybe, you know, my discipleship journey is pretty new. Or maybe they think I didn't grow up in church, I didn't grow up with a family who did this. there. Maybe they may think I don't know how to answer my question, that my kids questions. I don't want to tell them something wrong.
What would you tell to the families, say as encouragement to the struggling parents?
What would you tell to the families, say as encouragement to the families who just feel like maybe I'm not well equipped for this task. And that's why I'm depending on people I trust at the church to give them biblically sound information?
Dustin Lee: Well, I think that there's an element that all parents, feel that way, you know, like, again, you know, I, I shared earlier that we have a middle schooler for the first time, so we are embarking on this new, new journey of, of parenting a middle schooler for the first time. And, you know, I, I think the thing to remember is that God has chosen you to be the parent. And, and, and that's something, I just think, that is incredible is that God, God will give us what we need. He will, provide for us. But here's the thing is kids want to hear from their parents. They want to hear from their parents. And, and just the combination of God choosing you to be the parent. Parent. And, you know, and I think you just got to start in simple ways. And, and, and I think, if, if you are to say, hey, I just, I don't think I can do that is, I also want to say that I believe in you. I think that you can. And it could be where you just start by praying and saying, God, I thank you for my family. Help us today, today. Amen. Amen. And that's okay. And, and I just think continue to keep trying and to keep going and making baby steps of, of trying your best, to disciple your children and making Christ the center of your home.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And that's where that partnership comes in so beautifully. Like you were talking about having a text at 4 o'. Clock. You said earlier, Dustin, that you give out the answers, you give the question, but you also give the answers too. And that's the beautiful thing about the partnership there. And even just starting at that simple level and just reading, from a children's Bible, reading from a children's devotional book, and we featured several here on this show, you know, making sure that they're, they're biblically sound. And that could be a great recommendation to get from your children's ministry at church. Say we want to start a family devotional. What do you recommend? And getting that personal recommendation from someone that you trust, I think is really important.
Parents should partner with adults to get kids plugged into discipleship
And the other part of this, Dustin, is our own discipleship journey as adults. So if you've got your kids and this, this may be a little sensitive, this may step on some toes. But I'm just going to say, in my experience in children's ministry, sometimes there are some families who may bring their kids, but they're not plugged in. They're not. Maybe they're not going to a life group or maybe they're just dropping their kids off and there is opportunity for them to get engaged at the same time. And that's really kind of part of that partnership too. Right? That should, that they should partner with, with the adults too, to get them plugged into discipleship.
Dustin says the church is eager to walk alongside families experiencing grief
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I want to go back to the first thing that you were talking about. Like, if someone was like, well, hey, should I reach out to, you know, the kids ministry? Should I reach out to the kids pastor? The answer is absolutely yes. Like, when I tell you that me and my team, that we are eager to walk alongside families, if there's a family that emails me or texts me, I'm not even just going to send them a link. I'm going to provide that resource for them for absolutely free. If they're like, hey, like, what kind of resource? You know, recently I had someone who said, hey, we are experiencing the loss of a loved one. is there any resources on grief and, and from. From a biblical perspective? And I said, absolutely. I made a gift bag for that family. And so I, I think the church is eager to walk alongside families, and we're talking about families that, may not be plugged in. and so we want to welcome, children. We want them to hear those things. but when the parent is engaging and the church is engaging and the child is engaged, it is like a wonderful combination. but if one of those is missing, it makes it really hard, and difficult. And so, you know, I hope.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That, well, it's all part of that wraparound consistency. And here we are at our second break. But, Dustin, still a lot more to talk about. In the next segment. After the break, you're going to talk about some lessons that you've learned from balancing ministry, leadership and parenting and your own journey. We'll be right back.
The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts
Buddy Smith Jeff Chamblee: We live in a day when America's families are under attack like never before. Buddy Smith, senior vice president of the American Family Association. The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts. The Internet, Hollywood, Washington, D.C. america's corporate boardrooms, and the list goes on. At American Family association, we're committed to standing against the enemies of God, the enemies of your family. And we recognize it's an impossible task without God's favor and your partnership. Thank you for being faithful to pray for this ministry, to give financially, and to respond to our calls for activism. What you do on the home front is crucial to what we do on the home battlefront. We praise God for your faithfulness, and may he give us many victories in the battles ahead as we work together to restore our nation's biblical foundations.
In Jesus' Name by Darlene Zschech : He has overcome yes, he has overcome we will not be shaken we will not be moved Jesus, you are here Carrying our burdens covering our shame he has overcome yes, he has overcome we will not be shaken we will not be moved Jesus, you are here I will live I will not die the resurrection power of Christ alive in me and I am free in Jesus name.
How do ministry leaders pour into the church while also pouring into their families
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is in Jesus' name by Darlene Zschech And we are talking today about all things kids related. My guest today has five children and decades of ministry experience. I'm talking to Dustin Lee. He has lived the tension that many ministry leaders face, pouring into the church while also pouring into his own family. And so in this last segment, we're going to talk about that for those of you who may be in ministry, but even if you're not in ministry ministry, how do we have our own discipleship, journey our own faith, but also pour into our families? It doesn't matter where we work. Sometimes that work can pull away from the resources of pouring into our family, which should be our number one priority. And so Dustin is going to share what he's learned about guarding his family time and setting some healthy boundaries and making sure that the people in his home get his best, not what is left over.
Dustin Lee talks about balancing being a dad and leading ministry
And Dustin, I would love for you just to share a little bit about how your role as a dad Has shaped your approach in leading ministry, how you balance that. Because let's. Let's be honest. Everybody, you know, has heard about the pk, the pastor's kid, the deacon's kid. There are running jokes about that. But there's a special blessing and, and some challenges that can come with that too. What have you learned about navigating the tension in that space?
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I love being a dad. And I, I just think it is such a great joy. And, but, you know, I, I also love ministry. And for me, you know, whenever I'm at, work, I can't wait to get home. But also, I can't wait to get to work as well, because I just love what I get to do. But, you know, one thing is, you know, is that my children have one dad and my wife has one husband. Husband. And I think it's really important m. Just to know that the primary. What. What is most important is the home. And, you know, even in my own vocabulary, I had to start using the word work instead of church because when my children were young, I didn't want them to think that church was taking dad away from them. And, but I think, sometimes is learning the art of no, which can be hard at times. If I could be honest, I think about kids ministry every day. I have to tell myself I have to turn it off, because it's like, always a state of, like, dreaming and really, really Loving, what. What I get to do, every day.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I. I appreciate your honesty about that because it is really hard for kids to see that, and especially if you're in ministry. So the things that you're doing are really important, and they're really good. You know, it's. You're doing such good work, but it can be hard for kids to balance that. And, you know, I. Obviously, I've not worked as a kid's pastor, but working as a pediatric nurse, I feel that same passion about my calling. And I remember, one day when my kids were young, I was, just. I would work occasionally when they were young enough to keep my license. And one day when my kids were pretty little, they were, you know, just kind of complaining about me having to leave. And. And, they said, oh, you have to go work. And. And my husband said, no, she doesn't have to go to work. And I said, what are you talking about? Yes, I do. I'm about to go to work. He said, no, mommy doesn't have to go to work. She gets to go to work. Mommy gets to the privilege and the joy of having a calling from God to be a nurse to take care of kids who need it. And my husband's partnership in that and reframing for our kids was really beautiful. So my kids really kind of stepped into that. And I remember, like, if I was scheduled to work on Christmas Eve, they would come with me. And there was one particular Christmas Eve, Dustin, where we were going to the hospital, and we encountered a family from our very own church, actually, whose child was hospitalized that night. And my kids showed up, and they had brought presents they had bought, brought coloring books. They wanted to. They, like, designated themselves as the. The visiting ministry for that night. And it was so fun, and it was so great to be able to step into that. And so I think it's. That's part of the balance, too, is looking at that as a family and seeing that family. But you also have to set boundaries. So how do you set boundaries on that? You talked about, you know, giving your. The gift of no, which is really good. I. I'm hearing Tim Hawkins, the Christian comedian who. He would say, jesus loves me. This. I. No. No. I'm saying no. How do you give your best. No. And your best. Yes. And set those healthy boundaries for your family?
Dustin says keeping family unit a priority is essential in ministry
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, first of all, I'm so thankful to serve at Green Acres, and I'm so thankful that they are for the family unit. And. And I, And, you know, I loved Hearing you kind of brag on your husband about, like, what a team approach that that is. And I just can't brag enough on my wife Alicia. you know, I feel that our home is such a place of.
Dustin Lee: Peace and of, just. Just our place because of her, because of the rhythm her as a mom that makes that. but also too, like, if it wasn't for her partnership and ministry, like, my ministry would not be complete. And I love, that she has a heart, for the church, but she also has a heart for our family unit, most importantly. And I think, you know, if I could be honest, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Because when we, take, such joy in what we do is, And I think that there should always be an element of, like, oh, my goodness, the work that I'm doing is really important. but, hey, there is tomorrow. And. And I think that there should also be a healthy balance. Like, there are things that your work is going to require of you that you just have to do and. And you put your big boy pants on. but there are other things that are negotiable that you can, set boundaries to those. And, again, you know, I, you know, I shared, you know, during our time together is that kids spell love, T, I, M, E, T, I, M, E. And, And, you know, I think it's in our vocabulary. You know, like, I love to use the words. I said, you know, mom is my most important, person in the world. I said, you know, speaking, of my wife, I said, she's my favorite person in the world. But with my kids, like, y' all are my favorite people in the world. And it's just that vocabulary of saying, like, hey, you guys are a priority. but likewise, they also see that. That, in our actions. And so, today, my wife is a physician assistant, and one of her colleagues called in sick. And so today I had a meeting scheduled, and my daughter is in physical therapy. And so I kind of had to rearrange my schedule a little bit, so that I could bring my daughter, to physical therapy. And so, there are some things that are. That are out of our control. But, you know, I think keeping our family unit, just a priority is. Is essential.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I. I love that you said this, because this is what kids want more than anything. I mean, you've said it several times, Dustin, but they want our time. That is how we spell that love. That. That really is very true. And I remember having a conversation with my kids once when my, one of my kids was about the preteen age and they said, hey, all of my friends like together all of the time and, and they're doing all of these things and you're not really there. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Like, why aren't you spending time with them? And it was great because I could say, yes, those things are great and I am glad that there is a social connection there and that they're enjoying time together. But at the time, you know, I was working as a nurse and I have four kids and I said, I just had the opportunity to explain that time is my most valuable commodity. It is what God has given me to steward. And, and the first and the best of my time is going to make sure that I am spending time with my husband and I tell them he's my favorite person in the world and I'm going to make sure that he gets that time. And then you all get the time. And then if I have time after that, then I'm going to pursue those things. But you got to look at what God has given you to steward in your life and choose where you're spending that time. And one of the things that's been so instrumental for me and my family and our families health, Dustin has been spending time together at church, going to church together as a family, sitting in service together. When my kids are in the kids programming, they know that we're in a Bible study, that we're walking, what we're talking, we're saying all of those things. And I feel like, you know, that that is a really, that's, that's really, really helpful. How do we resist that urge though, to be like overly programmed and just still have those natural moments of discipleship, creating those milestone markers at home. Maybe not around something that's, you know, specific or structured, but just more organic in our faith.
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I feel like, the calendar can be our friend. And I think calendaring rhythm things I think is, is so good. I had a mentor once tell me, he said if, if you can financially do this or even if you can't, I can't come up with a creative way, but you should always have a getaway with your, with your spouse, once a year and as well as with your family now. You know, I remember whenever I was in seminary and my wife was in, when she was in school to be a physician assistant, you know, we didn't have money. And so I remember like we Just took a day to spend together but it was a day that was unplugged. And, and so like recently I went camping with my three sons and we put up a tent together, we went hiking and it was so much fun. And you know, we've had that rhythm in our life. And so I, I would normally lead the devotions but then I started asking my sons to each take a turn to read ah, the devotion. And I was blown away how they prepared and how like they were able to share. And I was like, oh my goodness. Like that is, is, that is incredible. And, and so I would just say like have a rhythm of, of calendaring things now.
At our church we welcome children into our worship service
I love Sundays. I love Sundays. This past Sunday we had something you know, new that happens and you know, at church we want to keep Jesus first in all things. We have these five pillars on our kids ministry team. It's safe, safety, pointing kids to Jesus, the family unit, intentionality and to have fun. We want to keep Jesus the focus, we want to keep the Bible the focus. But there's also a fun element because if kids are not having fun then they're not going to want to come back. So at our kids main entrance we have a new bubble machine and it is bubble machine. when we, the kids were so excited because we had music out there and, and when the kids would come in, the wind brought the boys bubbles into inside like of our, our kids welcome area in the atrium. It was so much fun. And. But at our church we welcome children into our worship service. There, there's a place for our preschoolers. But at first grade, we incur, I mean we ask for our families to bring their children into worship because we believe the best people for them to learn from is their parents. Because again kids learn about what is modeled for them and what a better person than their parents. And so after our promotion Sunday we have first grade Bible Sunday. And it's the kids with their parents. They come on stage, we equip them with a Bible. and so during that time of transition, sometimes it could be a little bit wiggly from kids. It could be hard. You know, I have a first grader right now and you know, with Elias, I recently I had to bring a fidget in in my pocket and sometimes we have to bring some stacks and make sure that he's got something in his belly. but I love for our children to be able to experience of what God is doing corporately with the church as a whole to See people responding to the gospel, to see people give money in the offering plate, to see their pastor, to be able to see the church as a whole, working, worshiping. And let me tell you something. When children are able to see life change, when people respond by giving their life to Jesus, but not only that, but when they see baptism, when they see the Lord's Supper, that is a wonderful opportunity, for a conversation of continuing about their own personal faith. And back to that word that I've heard you say a lot. Jessica. Jessica is consistency.
Dustin Lee: Is so key in those moments like that.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It absolutely is. And you're talking about the tools of our trade, snacks and toys and bubbles. And I think that's important though for parents to remember too, because sometimes if you try to make those discipleship moments too serious, you know, like everyone sit and open your Bible, sit, you know, so straight and. And if you have it, be that serious. Learning actually enhance, ah. Learning is enhanced by having fun. When kids are having fun, they actually learn more. And Dustin, you've given us so much encouragement. I just encourage you if you're listening. If your kids are not plugged into a children's ministry, maybe it's your grandkids, maybe it's neighbors, neighbor kids on the street that you could invite to attend your children's ministry. Do it. Get pledged, plugged in, get engaged, get involved and create those milestone moments. Be consistent in your discipleship. Dustin, thank you so much for sharing about your family, about your ministry. As I said at the top of the program, it just encourages me to no end to see people invested in the next generation. And wherever you are in that journey, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I'll see you right back here next time.
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Jeff Chamblee: Opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
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Dr. Jessica Peck is prescribing Hope for Healthy Families on American Family Radio
And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And it is exciting. It is a new year filled with new possibilities, filled with all kinds of unknowns. What's going to happen? What does this year have for us? It feels like ever since the infamous year of 2019, which I feel like should be always followed by a sound effect that goes dun, dun, dun, because it feels so ominous. We've just been kind of in survival mode as a people, as a country, just, well, maybe next year, well, maybe next year will be better. But that this year is the year that God has given you. This day is the day that God has given you. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. And you have some power, you have some choice over what this year will bring to you. Many things are beyond our control, but some things that are within our control are how we're going to lead our families with intention. And I want to challenge you right here early in the year to create some milestone moments with your family, to really pursue discipleship with intentionality. And we're going to be talking about that because maybe you got through the holidays and you think some things went great and some things revealed some rough spots when you have some tension, when you have extended family visiting, when you have travel, when you have kids who maybe aren't as grateful, dare I say, as they should be for Christmas or, or whatever the holiday stressors bring. Maybe it is just some of those realizations that, hey, we have a things that we need to work on and I have a guest here today who's going to help us do just that. We are talking to a, kids pastor today with more than 20 years of experience, Dustin Lee. He is passionate about partnering with parents, as am I, and equipping families to grow in their Faith. He serves as the kids pastor at Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas. He's a native of South Louisiana and a graduate of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Dustin is dedicated to helping kids and families know and follow Jesus. And he's been married to his wife alicia for over 17 years, and they have five children. Dustin, we're so glad to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining us.
Dustin Lee: Hey, thank you for having me. I'm excited.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Now, listen, we got to get something straight right away, because I feel like there's something in your bio that people, of a certain age, me, may be thinking Green Acres. I'm, starting to sing a little TV show in my mind. Now. Some people are going to say, like, what is that? It has. But it has nothing to do with the TV show. Right. I just feel like there's some people. That's a hanging question. I've got to, I got to make sure that we clear that up.
Dustin Lee: no, it has nothing to do with the TV show. It's just an area of our community here in Tyler. And I know that some of you are probably singing that song right now in your head.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's right. Well, Dustin, we're so grateful for all that you do. And you and I first met at a children's pastor's conference, and it always encourages me. I'm telling you, that's one of my favorite places to be, is to walk into a room full of kids pastors, because these are people who are optimistic, who are looking at the future, and they see hope, and they've dedicated their lives to equipping families and to pass faith on to the next generation. So I, I, you know, right away, our hearts, our missions are so synchronous. So I would love for you just to introduce yourself to our listeners and just tell them a little bit about yourself, about your, about how you met the Lord and how you called into ministry.
Dustin Lee: Yeah. Thank you for that. I'm just so excited to be here. And, you know, a little, A little bit of my story. I'm from South Louisiana. I have to tell you, my wife makes the best pot of gumbo. And,
Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay. Is that an invitation?
Dustin Lee: You never know. Come on. We'd love to have you, Christmas gumbo. In my, in my opinion, it is the best gumbo. And so.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay.
Dustin Lee: but we have, we have five children. we have Lucas, who's 13. This is our first time to be a parent of a middle schooler. We have Micah, who is 11. we have Tucker, who is 10, we have Elijah, that is 6. And our pandemic baby, our caboose is Carolina, who is four years old. a little of me coming to know Jesus. I gave my life to Jesus. It was the greatest decision I've ever made in my whole life at the age of 13. And my family, did not grow up going to church. And you know, a, ah, part of that season is, my family was actually going through a very rough season. And in that my dad came to know the Lord. And that man really changed the whole dynamics of our family unit. But also specifically my story, my own personal faith. But giving my life to Jesus at The age of 13 was just the best decision ever. at the age of 17, I surrendered, my life to the ministry. I was just willing to go wherever God called me to be. And you talked about how like kids, pastors, I really believe we have the best job in the church. I love, love, love what we get to do and it truly is a calling. And just like, I just can't believe I get to do this every day. I love it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I know. I feel the same way because people ask, you know, we see a lot of tragedy, a lot of tough things in the world, but there is about the faith of a child that is so inspiring. I mean children are just so earnest and they are so inspiring. I honestly think they're a lot braver than adults are. They're a lot more honest than adults are. It's just, I love, love, love working with kids.
Dustin Lee is a children's ministry leader at Green Acres
So tell us a little bit about your ministry, Dustin, and, and what you're seeing because, you know, you're living this personally with your five kids under the age of 13 and you're living this at work. What do you see going on in children's min over the last five years? How, how have things changed? What do you see that concerns you and what do you see that makes you hopeful and optimistic?
Dustin Lee: You know, one of the things that, where I'm just so hopeful is, you know, I love to partner with families in my role here at Green Acres. I give leadership from birth, to fifth grade. And a part of our role is anytime that children are in our care, we always teach the Bible. We always want to teach about, what God's wor says and God's plan for them. And we love of how God, speaks, to kids. And you know, one of my favorite, Bible stories is Jesus and the children from, Mark 10. And I love this story because it gives really, the picture of the heartbeat of kids ministry is you have the disciples that are literally walking with Jesus and here come the kids. You know, kids are sticky, they're loud, they're very, energetic. The disciples were like, hey, get out of here. This guy Jesus, he's important. And I love what Jesus did. He said, hold on, wait a minute. The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these and says, let us welcome, the children. And so I just see that our families have such a great need for people to partner with the parents and, and to serve the family unit.
Dr. Jessica Peck: This is encouraging to me. And I was actually recently at another children's ministry where they were talking about their philosophy in partnering. And they, everywhere that I looked, they had all of this, stuff that said we're the B team, like little stickers on their computer. And I said, okay, what is up with the B team? And they said, parents are the A team. Parents are the primary disciplers of their children. We're the B team. We're there to support them. And Dustin, I think this is a really hard thing for parents because it is so great to take your kids to church. Please do that. Take them regularly. Take them Sunday morning, take them Wednesday night. Take them to the programming that kids have. Just because that consistency from a developmental lens is so good. But I think it's. It's important to remember that the church is there to support, to reinforce what is there. So what are some ways that. That we really can take that discipleship and have the spiritual milestones at home and not just expect them to learn everything that they need to learn in Sunday?
Dustin Lee: Yeah, I think that that takes just really intentionality of like, really thinking through from. From that perspective of like, you know, it's a partnership. And the church is there to partner with the family unit and the parents. but it takes both parties to be willing in order for that to work. And, and, you know, I think about, you know, the most important decision ever is, is. Is a child's faith decision. And whenever they can fully understand and know, about their need for a savior. And, and when they make that decision, like, there's all different types of ways that you could really zone in on that to help, just that whole experience to be more rememberable as well as celebrate it and then.
Dr. Jessica Peck: But the church is working alongside you. So the church is working to create that structure and that rhythm. And it's always am to me how fast kids adapt to it. And it's good for them to see that Consistent presence of an adult there who cares about them, whether that is their kids, pastor, or the teacher that's there, their life group leader, whatever structure the church has. Having that rhythm there every week is so important. And when you do that, what I discovered is that my kids will hold me accountable. So there is no, like, if I am even, you know, five minutes behind and getting ready for church, they're like, you're going to church, right? Like, you're going. Because that's what we do on Sunday morning, right? They, they have that. I think that's really helpful. And so how does the church. How. What are you doing on your end? Give us a little peek behind the curtains there on the intentionality that goes into creating those environments for kids.
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I love in kids ministry, you know, you, you work a lot behind the scenes to make sure volunteers are in place, to make sure that Connect Group leaders are equipped. But also too, like, you know, we keep saying that the, parents are the primary disciplers, in the home. And, you know, one of the things that we just started doing that we have just seen a great response is, on Sunday afternoon at 4pm all of our families receive a text that is saying, ding. Hey. This is what your child learned today in Connect Group. You know, yesterday they learned about know it in the ark. And it says, hey, like, this is what they learn. Ask these three simple questions. And we actually put in parentheses the answers to those. But here's the key thing. We give them, just the encouragement of ask these questions tonight at dinner, press pause from technology, gather around the table. And, we have just seen a great response from our family. And really what we're wanting to do is we're wanting to tee up, you know, our parents to have these gospel conversations, in their home and around the family table.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's so important. That's the reason why it's a partnership. Because if you find a children's ministry where you can take your kids where they're safe, where they are nurtured, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, all of those things are so important. But you're giving the resources to be able to have those conversations at home and to be able to continue those. And it's really important too, Dustin. Parents need to know in a world that is really against Christian faith in a lot of ways, it's important for them to see other adults who are walking out those same values that we're talking about at home. I know I, you know, experienced this with my kids because I can say one thing, but, oh, you know, Ms. So and so, who said it? All of a sudden it's like, it's the most brilliant thing. And I think this is what I've been saying for like 12, you know, weeks, but that that's exactly how it's supposed to work.
What do you see as key factors to help kids make their faith their own?
And I think a lot of parents, you know, Christian, parents today, one of their biggest fears is that their kids will walk away from their f. And that is a very realistic fear because we see research playing that out. What do you see as the key factors of key protective factors to build in, to help kids make their faith their own?
Dustin Lee: You know, one of my greatest joys as a kid's pastor is meeting, with, the child and their parents when they make a faith decision. Anytime that a child makes a fake decision, I always include the parents, because again, it's a partnership. And whenever I meet with them, I always share like, hey, these are our two goals. number one, is, we want you to remember that the church spent time with you. And then number two, we want to make sure that you fully understand the decision that you're making because it is the most important decision. More important than who you'll marry one day, more important than where you'll go to college. Like, this is the biggest decision ever. And for me, I will spend probably about an hour to an hour and a half with each of those families. But to me, it's about the personal connection, it's about the relationship with the family unit and also too, of helping them to understand, clearly their God story. And you know, one of the things, you know, I remind children is that God never said that even if we're a Christian, that life would be perfect or that life would be easy. But what you Jesus said over and over and over again, he's like, I will always, be with you.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yes, that is so good. And we're already our first break, but so much more to talk about helping parents to be the primary disciplers of their children. We'll talk about some practical helps and hope when we come back. See you on the other side of this break.
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Children of God by Third Day: Praise. To the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our God and our King to him we will sing in his great mercy he has given us life now we can be called the children of God Great is the love that the Father has given us for he has delivered us for he has delivered us Children of God sing your song and rejoice for the love that he has given our song. Children of. God by the blood of this song we have been redeemed and we can be called Children of God. Children of God.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Children of God by third day. And that's exactly what we're talking about today. We're talking about children. We're talking about kids. And this is something I definitely have felt called to my whole life. I am the oldest of five kids. I have four children of my own. I have a ton of nieces and nephews. I have worked in pediatrics my entire nursing career and now I teach people how to become pediatric nurse practitioners. I am very invested in children and I believe that they are one of the greatest gifts that God has given us to steward. And we're talking today about what it looks like specifically to shepherd children's spiritual journey not just on Sundays, but in the everyday moments at home. And I've been talking to Dustin Lee about how families can celebrate those spiritual milestones, how churches can reinforce discipleship all week long and those key milestone moments that help kids transition from I go to church because my parents take me or my parents make me to my faith is my own, that personal, lasting relationship with Jesus. And if there's one message that Dustin Lee as a kids pastor consistently champions is this. Parents are the most influential speed spiritual leaders in a child's Life now as your children start to get to that preteen age. And we feel like kids are getting older so much quicker than they used to. They're maturing so much more quickly. They have a lot more exposure to adult themes and contents than they used to. It's easy for parents to think, do I really have that kind of influence? But I can tell you from a scientific lens, from a research based lens, you absolutely do. There is nothing that replaces parental influence, especially when it is in the context of a healthy relationship. Even when it seems like you can't get your kid's face out of their phone, out of their video game, that they roll their eyes, they sigh, they say, y, I know mom. Yeah, I know dad. They are really listening and their mind kind of works like a police scanner just kind of constantly on in the background and they're listening to the conversation that you're having. They're especially listening to things that you say about them. And we have a really great opportunity to lead them in that conversation. Now you may be thinking, I really want to do this. I just don't know if I'm doing it well. So we're going to talk how you can be empowered as a parent and what a healthy partnership between the church and the home really looks like. And we're going to talk about some practical ways that ministry leaders can encourage parents who might just feel overwhelmed. Like, how am I supposed to fit this in? Or inadequate? Am I going to mess up my kid for life? That's a quiet question that I know is on the hearts of a lot of parents and really how churches design ministry that equips and not, not competes with discipleship that's happening at home.
Dustin says parenting is not always easy but it is worth it
And so, Dustin, I would love to just start off by just giving you, give you a minute to get up on a soapbox here and talk about how parents are the primary disciplers of their kids and how the church partners and what else you'd like to say about that.
Dustin Lee: You know, I, I, I think it is so clear in the Bible that the parents are the primary faith trainer and disciple maker in their homes. And I'm going to tell you, parenting, is not always easy. Parenting at times is very selfless. but the thing that I just have to tell you that it is worth it and even when it's hard and parents, can do it. And you know, one of the things I just think that is so important is that kids spell love T I M E T I M E. It is time. And when you start Looking at discipleship in the home, it requires time and full, your full attention. And, and children, they learn by example. They learn by example. And I think about my 4 year old right now is whenever, we spend time together, she wants all of my attention. And at times she will grab my face with both hands. It's like, look at me, daddy, like, look at me. And I think that's, that's such a picture of parenting in every season is intently just giving it all that we have. because again, it truly is worth it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It's, it's so true.
Some Christian parents say discipling their kids is their main priority
And speaking of soapboxes, I'll step on mine now, I'll take my turn because I talk about this all the time. And Christian parents are going to be quick to say, just like I am, hey, discipling my kids is my main priority. But sometimes my credit card and my calendar, it tells on me, you know, and it, and it is my accountability partner. And saying, well Jessica, you say that this is the most important thing and yet look at how you've spen to your point Dustin your time last week. And I think sometimes as parents the temptation in today's society is to really get caught up in making sure our children are prepared academically, that they're prepared socially, that they are prepared emotionally to meet the world. We talk a lot about those things, like where are they going to go to school, what kind of job are they going to get, you know, are they, do they have the social skills to make it in the world, are they emotionally healthy and mental health. But when we really look at how much time and if I'm gonna be really honest here, how much money we put into discipleship, investment, sometimes that doesn't always balance out. And so I think there's some parents that just feel overwhelmed. You know, they just feel like. And for a lot of different reasons. Let's talk first to the parent who feels overwhelmed just because of time thinking, all right, you send me that text message at 4:00 clock on Sunday afternoon. That's one more thing I have to do. How do we reframe our mindset on that? That.
Dustin Lee: You know, I think the thing where we have to shift our mindset is, is that I had several people 13 years ago. Whenever I had m our first child, they said it's going to go by fast. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm telling you I can't believe I have a middle schooler right now. And like, it won't be long. Like he'll have his driver's license. And like all of these things are like now, perspective for me. And you know, each season is different. And if I could be honest, I want to tell you something that my wife Alicia is. We, we are very passionate about family Devos. And when we had three kids under the age of three, oh my goodness.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I mean, like, I mean, please be young kid.
Dustin Lee: I mean, and not only that, by the way, we recently got out of diapers. We were in diapers for 13 years. Thank you, Jesus. but would do our devos at bedtime. And Jessica, it was like herding cats. Like, it was, it was not productive. There was something, there was something in my brain about 7 o' clock that's like, I need to stop talking. I need to start heading towards my own bed. And you know, Alicia and I, we, were celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. And I saw a family pray at the end of their, dinner time. And I was like, okay, I've never seen anyone do that before. I was like, tell me more. And, they said, well, their bellies are full, they're content, and they get to eat their food hot. And so, you know, we got back home and we thought about that. Now we still pray at the beginning of our dinner time, but we shifted our family devo at the end of our dinner time because we're already around a table, completely changed the productivity of that time together. And it really, was just a phenomenal, I think, transformation time of our discipleship journey with our children during that time, because we were talking about things of faith. And when my oldest son was making a faith decision, then his younger siblings were hearing about that around the table. And so it was like, we're inviting everybody together, together. But I will tell you this. The key to a good family Devo, is short and sweet. Short and sweet. We will share a high, a low, and a buffalo. The buffalo is something funny. And, you know, oh, it's so fun. Our kids love that part. And so like last night, my son Tucker, who is 10, actually read our Family Devo and he just, just, he loved it and he did a great job.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I love that we do highs and lows, but we've never done a buffalo. And I feel like that has, that has to go in there because that is just so much fun. And, and really, Dustin, you point out two things that are really important that I think parents should take away from this. First of all, consistency over perfection. It does not have to look like social media it does not have to be, you know, candlelight and jazz music and everyone just saying, oh, yes, this is so, you know, relaxing. This is great. Now we'll all sing together and then, you know, maybe pass an offering plate. Like, it does not have to look perfect. Sometimes it. You. You're in the middle of temper tantrums or bad attitudes or diaper changes or those kinds of things. So it doesn't have to be perfect. It's consistent. And the second thing that I think is really important about what you said is that, that you. Well, shoot, I just forgot what the second most thing that I was going to say. There's a second thing that is consistent and also. Well, d. Sure, it'll come to me. See, this is like. This is like real life devotional here. I feel like there was a squirrel, and that doesn't often happen to me, but here, here we are. Oh, I know what it is, okay. That your habit stacking that you're doing it with something that you're already doing as a family, you're going to eat every day, your kids are going to eat every day. And so doing it in that way is. That is the key to success as well, I think. Just not trying to make some production that's separate and that feels, you know, so different. It's doing it with the things that, that you're already doing. Dustin. I think that there's, some families who feel overwhelmed by the schedule of it, but there's also some families who feel overwhelmed because they feel like maybe they're not prepared to do that. Maybe they think I don't have a seminary degree. Or maybe, you know, my discipleship journey is pretty new. Or maybe they think I didn't grow up in church, I didn't grow up with a family who did this. there. Maybe they may think I don't know how to answer my question, that my kids questions. I don't want to tell them something wrong.
What would you tell to the families, say as encouragement to the struggling parents?
What would you tell to the families, say as encouragement to the families who just feel like maybe I'm not well equipped for this task. And that's why I'm depending on people I trust at the church to give them biblically sound information?
Dustin Lee: Well, I think that there's an element that all parents, feel that way, you know, like, again, you know, I, I shared earlier that we have a middle schooler for the first time, so we are embarking on this new, new journey of, of parenting a middle schooler for the first time. And, you know, I, I think the thing to remember is that God has chosen you to be the parent. And, and, and that's something, I just think, that is incredible is that God, God will give us what we need. He will, provide for us. But here's the thing is kids want to hear from their parents. They want to hear from their parents. And, and just the combination of God choosing you to be the parent. Parent. And, you know, and I think you just got to start in simple ways. And, and, and I think, if, if you are to say, hey, I just, I don't think I can do that is, I also want to say that I believe in you. I think that you can. And it could be where you just start by praying and saying, God, I thank you for my family. Help us today, today. Amen. Amen. And that's okay. And, and I just think continue to keep trying and to keep going and making baby steps of, of trying your best, to disciple your children and making Christ the center of your home.
Dr. Jessica Peck: And that's where that partnership comes in so beautifully. Like you were talking about having a text at 4 o'. Clock. You said earlier, Dustin, that you give out the answers, you give the question, but you also give the answers too. And that's the beautiful thing about the partnership there. And even just starting at that simple level and just reading, from a children's Bible, reading from a children's devotional book, and we featured several here on this show, you know, making sure that they're, they're biblically sound. And that could be a great recommendation to get from your children's ministry at church. Say we want to start a family devotional. What do you recommend? And getting that personal recommendation from someone that you trust, I think is really important.
Parents should partner with adults to get kids plugged into discipleship
And the other part of this, Dustin, is our own discipleship journey as adults. So if you've got your kids and this, this may be a little sensitive, this may step on some toes. But I'm just going to say, in my experience in children's ministry, sometimes there are some families who may bring their kids, but they're not plugged in. They're not. Maybe they're not going to a life group or maybe they're just dropping their kids off and there is opportunity for them to get engaged at the same time. And that's really kind of part of that partnership too. Right? That should, that they should partner with, with the adults too, to get them plugged into discipleship.
Dustin says the church is eager to walk alongside families experiencing grief
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I want to go back to the first thing that you were talking about. Like, if someone was like, well, hey, should I reach out to, you know, the kids ministry? Should I reach out to the kids pastor? The answer is absolutely yes. Like, when I tell you that me and my team, that we are eager to walk alongside families, if there's a family that emails me or texts me, I'm not even just going to send them a link. I'm going to provide that resource for them for absolutely free. If they're like, hey, like, what kind of resource? You know, recently I had someone who said, hey, we are experiencing the loss of a loved one. is there any resources on grief and, and from. From a biblical perspective? And I said, absolutely. I made a gift bag for that family. And so I, I think the church is eager to walk alongside families, and we're talking about families that, may not be plugged in. and so we want to welcome, children. We want them to hear those things. but when the parent is engaging and the church is engaging and the child is engaged, it is like a wonderful combination. but if one of those is missing, it makes it really hard, and difficult. And so, you know, I hope.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That, well, it's all part of that wraparound consistency. And here we are at our second break. But, Dustin, still a lot more to talk about. In the next segment. After the break, you're going to talk about some lessons that you've learned from balancing ministry, leadership and parenting and your own journey. We'll be right back.
The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts
Buddy Smith Jeff Chamblee: We live in a day when America's families are under attack like never before. Buddy Smith, senior vice president of the American Family Association. The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts. The Internet, Hollywood, Washington, D.C. america's corporate boardrooms, and the list goes on. At American Family association, we're committed to standing against the enemies of God, the enemies of your family. And we recognize it's an impossible task without God's favor and your partnership. Thank you for being faithful to pray for this ministry, to give financially, and to respond to our calls for activism. What you do on the home front is crucial to what we do on the home battlefront. We praise God for your faithfulness, and may he give us many victories in the battles ahead as we work together to restore our nation's biblical foundations.
In Jesus' Name by Darlene Zschech : He has overcome yes, he has overcome we will not be shaken we will not be moved Jesus, you are here Carrying our burdens covering our shame he has overcome yes, he has overcome we will not be shaken we will not be moved Jesus, you are here I will live I will not die the resurrection power of Christ alive in me and I am free in Jesus name.
How do ministry leaders pour into the church while also pouring into their families
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is in Jesus' name by Darlene Zschech And we are talking today about all things kids related. My guest today has five children and decades of ministry experience. I'm talking to Dustin Lee. He has lived the tension that many ministry leaders face, pouring into the church while also pouring into his own family. And so in this last segment, we're going to talk about that for those of you who may be in ministry, but even if you're not in ministry ministry, how do we have our own discipleship, journey our own faith, but also pour into our families? It doesn't matter where we work. Sometimes that work can pull away from the resources of pouring into our family, which should be our number one priority. And so Dustin is going to share what he's learned about guarding his family time and setting some healthy boundaries and making sure that the people in his home get his best, not what is left over.
Dustin Lee talks about balancing being a dad and leading ministry
And Dustin, I would love for you just to share a little bit about how your role as a dad Has shaped your approach in leading ministry, how you balance that. Because let's. Let's be honest. Everybody, you know, has heard about the pk, the pastor's kid, the deacon's kid. There are running jokes about that. But there's a special blessing and, and some challenges that can come with that too. What have you learned about navigating the tension in that space?
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I love being a dad. And I, I just think it is such a great joy. And, but, you know, I, I also love ministry. And for me, you know, whenever I'm at, work, I can't wait to get home. But also, I can't wait to get to work as well, because I just love what I get to do. But, you know, one thing is, you know, is that my children have one dad and my wife has one husband. Husband. And I think it's really important m. Just to know that the primary. What. What is most important is the home. And, you know, even in my own vocabulary, I had to start using the word work instead of church because when my children were young, I didn't want them to think that church was taking dad away from them. And, but I think, sometimes is learning the art of no, which can be hard at times. If I could be honest, I think about kids ministry every day. I have to tell myself I have to turn it off, because it's like, always a state of, like, dreaming and really, really Loving, what. What I get to do, every day.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I. I appreciate your honesty about that because it is really hard for kids to see that, and especially if you're in ministry. So the things that you're doing are really important, and they're really good. You know, it's. You're doing such good work, but it can be hard for kids to balance that. And, you know, I. Obviously, I've not worked as a kid's pastor, but working as a pediatric nurse, I feel that same passion about my calling. And I remember, one day when my kids were young, I was, just. I would work occasionally when they were young enough to keep my license. And one day when my kids were pretty little, they were, you know, just kind of complaining about me having to leave. And. And, they said, oh, you have to go work. And. And my husband said, no, she doesn't have to go to work. And I said, what are you talking about? Yes, I do. I'm about to go to work. He said, no, mommy doesn't have to go to work. She gets to go to work. Mommy gets to the privilege and the joy of having a calling from God to be a nurse to take care of kids who need it. And my husband's partnership in that and reframing for our kids was really beautiful. So my kids really kind of stepped into that. And I remember, like, if I was scheduled to work on Christmas Eve, they would come with me. And there was one particular Christmas Eve, Dustin, where we were going to the hospital, and we encountered a family from our very own church, actually, whose child was hospitalized that night. And my kids showed up, and they had brought presents they had bought, brought coloring books. They wanted to. They, like, designated themselves as the. The visiting ministry for that night. And it was so fun, and it was so great to be able to step into that. And so I think it's. That's part of the balance, too, is looking at that as a family and seeing that family. But you also have to set boundaries. So how do you set boundaries on that? You talked about, you know, giving your. The gift of no, which is really good. I. I'm hearing Tim Hawkins, the Christian comedian who. He would say, jesus loves me. This. I. No. No. I'm saying no. How do you give your best. No. And your best. Yes. And set those healthy boundaries for your family?
Dustin says keeping family unit a priority is essential in ministry
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, first of all, I'm so thankful to serve at Green Acres, and I'm so thankful that they are for the family unit. And. And I, And, you know, I loved Hearing you kind of brag on your husband about, like, what a team approach that that is. And I just can't brag enough on my wife Alicia. you know, I feel that our home is such a place of.
Dustin Lee: Peace and of, just. Just our place because of her, because of the rhythm her as a mom that makes that. but also too, like, if it wasn't for her partnership and ministry, like, my ministry would not be complete. And I love, that she has a heart, for the church, but she also has a heart for our family unit, most importantly. And I think, you know, if I could be honest, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Because when we, take, such joy in what we do is, And I think that there should always be an element of, like, oh, my goodness, the work that I'm doing is really important. but, hey, there is tomorrow. And. And I think that there should also be a healthy balance. Like, there are things that your work is going to require of you that you just have to do and. And you put your big boy pants on. but there are other things that are negotiable that you can, set boundaries to those. And, again, you know, I, you know, I shared, you know, during our time together is that kids spell love, T, I, M, E, T, I, M, E. And, And, you know, I think it's in our vocabulary. You know, like, I love to use the words. I said, you know, mom is my most important, person in the world. I said, you know, speaking, of my wife, I said, she's my favorite person in the world. But with my kids, like, y' all are my favorite people in the world. And it's just that vocabulary of saying, like, hey, you guys are a priority. but likewise, they also see that. That, in our actions. And so, today, my wife is a physician assistant, and one of her colleagues called in sick. And so today I had a meeting scheduled, and my daughter is in physical therapy. And so I kind of had to rearrange my schedule a little bit, so that I could bring my daughter, to physical therapy. And so, there are some things that are. That are out of our control. But, you know, I think keeping our family unit, just a priority is. Is essential.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I. I love that you said this, because this is what kids want more than anything. I mean, you've said it several times, Dustin, but they want our time. That is how we spell that love. That. That really is very true. And I remember having a conversation with my kids once when my, one of my kids was about the preteen age and they said, hey, all of my friends like together all of the time and, and they're doing all of these things and you're not really there. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Like, why aren't you spending time with them? And it was great because I could say, yes, those things are great and I am glad that there is a social connection there and that they're enjoying time together. But at the time, you know, I was working as a nurse and I have four kids and I said, I just had the opportunity to explain that time is my most valuable commodity. It is what God has given me to steward. And, and the first and the best of my time is going to make sure that I am spending time with my husband and I tell them he's my favorite person in the world and I'm going to make sure that he gets that time. And then you all get the time. And then if I have time after that, then I'm going to pursue those things. But you got to look at what God has given you to steward in your life and choose where you're spending that time. And one of the things that's been so instrumental for me and my family and our families health, Dustin has been spending time together at church, going to church together as a family, sitting in service together. When my kids are in the kids programming, they know that we're in a Bible study, that we're walking, what we're talking, we're saying all of those things. And I feel like, you know, that that is a really, that's, that's really, really helpful. How do we resist that urge though, to be like overly programmed and just still have those natural moments of discipleship, creating those milestone markers at home. Maybe not around something that's, you know, specific or structured, but just more organic in our faith.
Dustin Lee: Well, you know, I feel like, the calendar can be our friend. And I think calendaring rhythm things I think is, is so good. I had a mentor once tell me, he said if, if you can financially do this or even if you can't, I can't come up with a creative way, but you should always have a getaway with your, with your spouse, once a year and as well as with your family now. You know, I remember whenever I was in seminary and my wife was in, when she was in school to be a physician assistant, you know, we didn't have money. And so I remember like we Just took a day to spend together but it was a day that was unplugged. And, and so like recently I went camping with my three sons and we put up a tent together, we went hiking and it was so much fun. And you know, we've had that rhythm in our life. And so I, I would normally lead the devotions but then I started asking my sons to each take a turn to read ah, the devotion. And I was blown away how they prepared and how like they were able to share. And I was like, oh my goodness. Like that is, is, that is incredible. And, and so I would just say like have a rhythm of, of calendaring things now.
At our church we welcome children into our worship service
I love Sundays. I love Sundays. This past Sunday we had something you know, new that happens and you know, at church we want to keep Jesus first in all things. We have these five pillars on our kids ministry team. It's safe, safety, pointing kids to Jesus, the family unit, intentionality and to have fun. We want to keep Jesus the focus, we want to keep the Bible the focus. But there's also a fun element because if kids are not having fun then they're not going to want to come back. So at our kids main entrance we have a new bubble machine and it is bubble machine. when we, the kids were so excited because we had music out there and, and when the kids would come in, the wind brought the boys bubbles into inside like of our, our kids welcome area in the atrium. It was so much fun. And. But at our church we welcome children into our worship service. There, there's a place for our preschoolers. But at first grade, we incur, I mean we ask for our families to bring their children into worship because we believe the best people for them to learn from is their parents. Because again kids learn about what is modeled for them and what a better person than their parents. And so after our promotion Sunday we have first grade Bible Sunday. And it's the kids with their parents. They come on stage, we equip them with a Bible. and so during that time of transition, sometimes it could be a little bit wiggly from kids. It could be hard. You know, I have a first grader right now and you know, with Elias, I recently I had to bring a fidget in in my pocket and sometimes we have to bring some stacks and make sure that he's got something in his belly. but I love for our children to be able to experience of what God is doing corporately with the church as a whole to See people responding to the gospel, to see people give money in the offering plate, to see their pastor, to be able to see the church as a whole, working, worshiping. And let me tell you something. When children are able to see life change, when people respond by giving their life to Jesus, but not only that, but when they see baptism, when they see the Lord's Supper, that is a wonderful opportunity, for a conversation of continuing about their own personal faith. And back to that word that I've heard you say a lot. Jessica. Jessica is consistency.
Dustin Lee: Is so key in those moments like that.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It absolutely is. And you're talking about the tools of our trade, snacks and toys and bubbles. And I think that's important though for parents to remember too, because sometimes if you try to make those discipleship moments too serious, you know, like everyone sit and open your Bible, sit, you know, so straight and. And if you have it, be that serious. Learning actually enhance, ah. Learning is enhanced by having fun. When kids are having fun, they actually learn more. And Dustin, you've given us so much encouragement. I just encourage you if you're listening. If your kids are not plugged into a children's ministry, maybe it's your grandkids, maybe it's neighbors, neighbor kids on the street that you could invite to attend your children's ministry. Do it. Get pledged, plugged in, get engaged, get involved and create those milestone moments. Be consistent in your discipleship. Dustin, thank you so much for sharing about your family, about your ministry. As I said at the top of the program, it just encourages me to no end to see people invested in the next generation. And wherever you are in that journey, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I'll see you right back here next time.
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Jeff Chamblee: Opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
Kids Pastor Dustin Lee joins Jessica to talk about helping kids grow in their faith through discipleship and milestone moments
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