Preborn needs your help to provide ultrasounds for pregnant women

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time, she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello.

Dr. Jessica Peck prescribes Hope for Healthy Families on American Family Radio

 : And welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends. Welcome to my favorite time of the afternoon, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. Our prescription today is all about going to church. And we will dive into that on this, my favorite day of the week. Fry. Yay. It is Friday, and I was just talking with my team. Can you believe that it is January 17th? Can you even believe that? Because I feel like it was just yesterday. I was with my family singing Auld Lang Syne, and it was New Year's, and now we're more than halfway into the first month. I don't know, it feels like it's flying by. And I know many of you are getting ready for a cold snap that's coming next week. So don't forget about your pets, your pipes, your plants, your whatever else it is that you're supposed to do. I have to. I have to remind myself and listen to the weatherman and ask my husband. But whatever it is that you need to do to save safe and warm, do that. And, we are talking today about. Before I get into Ask doctor Nursemama Friday and start answering your questions, I want to remind you that this week, American Family Radio has partnered with PreBorn and what is preborn Ministry? Well, it is a. An organization that is the largest provider of free ultrasounds in the United States. Now, by letting a woman see her baby on ultrasound and hear the heartbeat, a baby's chance at, life is doubled. And since 2007, PreBorn has partnered with pregnancy clinics in the highest rates of cities that provide abortions in regions across the nation. And they provide ultrasound, but they also provide maternity and baby clothes, diapers, car seats, counseling, a bunch of other wraparound services for free for up to two years. And that is really exciting. And over the last 18 years, preborn partner clinics have counseled over half a million women considering abortion and more than 300,000 babies have been born because of that, which is really exciting. So we are asking you if you are able to consider a gift of $28 to provide one woman a free ultrasound. 140 provides five and 5,000 will provide ultrasounds for a day. And if you can provide that, we're asking you to call in at 877-616-2396 or donate online at afr.net now that number, one more time is 877-616-2396. So we would love to have you call in. American Family Radio has a goal of 4,500 ultrasounds. And we're not quite there yet. We're trying to get. So if you can call in and do that, that would be great. If not, honestly, your prayers are so coveted. So if you would just even take a moment now to stop and pray for women who are expecting babies who are going to be walking into these preborn clinics. I just pray that you would ask God to reveal himself to them, to be with them in a mighty way and be in their situation and help them to feel loved and seen and known and and heard. I just pray that you would. That you would pray that.

I pray that you will join us this year in cultivating and adopting 52 habits

And speaking of praying, I pray that you will join us this year in cultivating and adopting 52 habits for healthy families. Listen, I've been talking a lot about this, there is no magic life hack, parenting hack that you're going to get on this show that's automatically going to just change your world. There are a lot of things that have changed. We live in a world that seems engulfed in cultural chaos. But, but the things that have not changed are, well, first of all, Jesus Christ, he's the first. He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. And those building blocks of our faith, those weekly, daily, sometimes hourly, or even minutely, if that's even a word, disciplines, those are the secrets to building healthy relationships in your, with your family. And I'm convinced that no matter what may come our way, there are all kinds of new threats that make us afraid every single day. We hear about things. Fentanyl that looks like candy. We hear about human trafficking. We hear about predators grooming online. We hear about all sextortion and all kinds of scary things, honestly. But I am convinced that God has equipped us as families to get through what we need. God tells us in his word that in this world we will have trouble. But we can take heart because God has overcome the world and in everything by prayer and supplication. Present your request To God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So let me just remind you, as we're still in January and getting started, how this works. Every week we'll be talking about one particular habit. We'll focus on that habit on Friday, just like we're doing right now. The first segment of each show, we'll dive into that habit. I'll talk to you about the health benefits and how you can habit stack those habits, not just add something. You won't be doing 52 new things as much as you will be infusing 52 things into your day. Week one, we talked about prayer. Week two, we talked about memorizing scripture. If you missed that, you can go back and listen to the Friday show for the long version. If you're looking for the short version, listen to the doctor, nurse, mama coaching minutes. Just one minute to challenge you to adopt a new habit. So we've talked all about that. Prayer is the building block for everything. Let me encourage you once again. What is something that you do every single day, come rain or shine? Are you that I've gotta have my cup of coffee in the morning? Hopefully you're brushing your teeth every day. Most of you are going to be waking up and going to bed. And so when is it? Those are great times to integrate prayer. Just to start thinking, okay, I'm going to say a prayer, even if it's one sentence before I go to bed at night, when I open my eyes in the morning, when I'm brushing my teeth, when I'm waiting for my coffee, whatever that is. Start to find ways to build prayer into your day. For me, prayer is an open conversation with the Lord from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I close them at night. And then I even pray that God would say prayers in my sleep, which we know he does because we know that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Last week I talked about memorizing scripture. This game changer for me as a mom, really being able to speak words of truth that are so much wiser than my own. There are so many self help books and I just don't need any more help from myself. I need help from the Lord.

This week we're talking about going to church. Study after study has shown incredible benefits of regularly attending church

So with that said, let's dive into this week. This week we're talking about going to church. That is the prescription for hope. That is the healthy habit. And go to church. And especially since the pandemic, let's be really honest, it's easy to fall out of the routine. Whether that was Covid, maybe you went online and then you didn't go again. We know from research that that has happened. But also, life gets busy. Weekends fill up with sports games, and we think, okay, well, it's just one Sunday. But then it becomes two, and then three, and then four. Maybe it's a birthday party, or maybe you're just exhausted from your week because you're getting kids everywhere they need to be, or you're going to work during the week. Saturday, you're running around town doing everything that you need to do. And just the thought of, oh, pressing that snooze button on Sunday morning is really tempted. And maybe, maybe some of you have had a rough experience in church before. Maybe you've been hurt, maybe it's been hard to find a place where you feel like you truly belong. You've tried and. But you just don't feel connected. And if that is you, any one of those circumstances, I just want to take a moment to say, hey, I see you. I hear you. I understand life is complicated. Church can feel like it's one more thing to do, especially if that comes with some emotional complication. But here's the thing. Building the habit of going to church isn't about adding something to your to do list or checking a box to get spiritual favor or feeling good that you did what you were supposed to do. It is about filling your soul with something that will carry you through the week ahead. Study after study has shown incredible benefits of, regularly attending church. Now, these studies are shown across secular sources, across religious sources. It's good not just for our faith, but for our health. So did you know that people who regularly attend worship services experience lower levels of stress and lower levels of depression? They report stronger social connections, a deeper sense of contentment, a stronger sense of purpose. And kids who grow up going to church are more likely to develop resilience and a strong moral compass. And these are things that we all want for our family. Now, I get it. I completely acknowledge that it's complicated and that sometimes it can be a negative, hurtful experience. I get that. But the thing is, the church is a place where we can find something the world often forgets to give us, and that is hope. And if you're looking for hope from other messages, from other media messages, from news stories or even shows or whatever temporary kind of hope it is, it's temporary, it's fleeting, and in some cases, it's really counterfeit. And church is a place where we can show up messy Broken, joyful. And we can know that we are loved by God, who is faithful and good. And we can find a source of hope. The scripture tells us, literally, a hope that does not disappoint. It's a place where we can go and be reminded of the bigger picture, the eternal story that God is writing in each of our lives. And you may have heard this cliche before, but a church is a hospital for sinners. It's not a museum for saints. You're going to find messy, broken people there, and that's really hard. But there's messy, broken people everywhere you go. I'm a messy, broken person myself. But if it's been a while since you've been to church, I want to just gently encourage you to give it another try. Start small. Maybe you just go once this month. Maybe it's even tuning into a service online if you're just not m ready to walk through those doors yet. God doesn't want you to be perfect. He wants you to be present. He wants you to show up. And if you're worried about what people might think or how to fit in, let me just remind you, every person in that building is walking their own imperfect journey of faith. There is no. You might look at people and think, oh, they have no issues, no troubles. Well, maybe they're further along in a healing journey. Maybe they're further along in walking with the Lord. And maybe they're really good at hiding some things that you don't know are going on in their lives. And so we comparison is the thief of joy. We can't compare our journey to anyone, else's. But for those of you who have kept the habit, who say, yep, we're in church every week, I really just want to celebrate you and clap for you and say that whether it's been easy or it's a challenge, that faithfulness really matters. You are planting seeds in the heart of your family that is really going to bear fruit for years to come. And I think it's really a great opportunity for us as parents, as family members, to be an example of steadfast faith in a world that often pulls us away from it. And, you know, I, that is one habit I have always, always had. I have always gone to church. I love going to church on Sunday morning. I miss the Sunday night services, you know, where you pull open the hymnal and say, which song do we want to sing? I miss the Wednesday night dinners. You know, church programming. It's a little different these days, but that's something That I have always made, it a habit to do. And it is really encouraging to walk alongside people who are going through some things that are so hard. But standing next to them and seeing, seeing them sing, it is, well, with my soul is really amazing. And one thing that I have experienced, because people know that if it's Sunday, I'm going to be in church pretty much no matter where I am. So many people will call me in a difficult season of their life and they'll say, hey, can I go to church with you on Sunday? And I'll say, yes. And so I see that searching. I see that longing. I see that. And so don't be afraid to, invite somebody. Even if they say no, just make them know the invitation is always open. And it's really easy. If you're there every week, just say, and, you know, if you go to a church like I do, I'll say, you can find me in Pew4, you know, on the right about a little, a few seats over.

Church can be an important resource in nurturing your child's relationship with God

But as a parent, I want to encourage you. Sometimes we take our kids to church and then we think, okay, well, that's it. But you are the primary and most important, most influential spiritual guide for your child. You are uniquely positioned to shape their faith through daily life conversations and the example that you set. So church can be a really important resource in nurturing your child's relationship with God, but it should not ever replace your role as their first and most important spiritual mentor. So it's important to look for a church that understands this and wants to partner with you, that will come alongside you, that will reinforce those things that you're teaching at home, one that supports you and equips you, encourages you to lead your child in faith rather than taking that responsibility out of your hands. A healthy church will come alongside you and offer encouragement and, and tools and community as you guide your child. throughout the year, we've spoken a lot with Alex McFarland and he has shared a resource. To find a church. There are often posts on social media saying, tell me about your church. Those are encouraging to me because I love reading what people love about their church. So the criteria looked at, it's trustworthy. It's important to say, you need to do your homework and make sure that the information the researchers have been given is accurate. And always start with that church's statement of faith. And so you can go to that. My churchfinder.org that's my churchfinder.org and find a new church home if that is you, if that is what you're looking for? Well, when we come back, I'm going to answer some questions about church. Should we force our kids to go? How do we know if it's safe? And what about when you're on vacation? I'll talk about those when we come back.

Preborn Network helps women choose life through a free ultrasound

We're living in a time when truth is under attack. Lies are easy to tell, easy to spread, and easy to believe. But truth, truth is costly. And nowhere is the cost greater than for mothers in crisis. When a woman is told abortion is her only option, silence and lies surround her. But when she walks into a preborn Network clinic, she's met with compassion, support, and the truth about the life growing inside her. That moment of truth happens through a free ultrasound, and it's a game changer. When a mother sees her baby and hears that heartbeat, it literally doubles the chance she'll choose life. PreBorn Network clinics are on the front lines, meeting women in their darkest hour, loving them, helping them choose life, and sharing truth. Friend, this is not the time to be silent. It's a time for courage, for truth, for life. Just $28 provides one ultrasound and the opportunity for a mother to see her baby. To help her choose truth and life, donate today, call pound 250 and say baby, that's pound 250, baby. Or give online at, preborn.com/AFR that's preborn.com/AFR. who can bend my.

For the Good by Riley Clemmons: Burdens and make them beautiful who can bring the healing to the hurt I hold who else could part the waters when I needed a way Though I'm walking through the valley I'll believe when you say I believe when you say for the good, for the good you work all things together for the good, for the good your promise stands forever.

This week's Healthy habit is going to church with your family

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That's for the Good by Riley Clemmons And we're here for your good. Today we are talking about prescribing hope for healthy families. And our prescription for you today is going to church. That is this week's Healthy habit. We're in week three of the year. We talked about prayer, memorizing scripture and going to church. These are just the basics of building blocks for healthy relationships for your family, which will help you to stand whatever trial, whatever trauma, whatever, tragedy is coming your way. We can know that we can stand together and we can get through that together. Because God loves you. He sees you, he knows you. And all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose. And I've been encouraging you go to church. This church, this, this Sunday in church would be a great time to pray for our nation as we have a very important transition of power coming on Monday with the inauguration. I'm telling you, it's really encouraging to gather together with other believers and pray. Our church has a Wednesday night prayer night every once in a while. And it's really encouraging to sit and pray with people you've never even met and have them open their hearts and realize they're concerned about the same things I'm concerned about. They're praying for the same things I'm praying for. And it's just encouraging. You just feel like I'm not alone. And even that word church, for some, it brings an instant sense of home, a place of comfort, of joy, where cherished memories were made and your faith was forged. But for some, the word evokes guilt, maybe, and just a feeling of being unsettled. Maybe you used to go, I don't like to talk about it, even with myself. And for some, for some of you, it can evoke anger or pain or betrayal, the deepest sense of hurt. And you have vowed never to return. Maybe you've lost your faith in that or maybe you haven't. But the truth is our faith practices deeply impact our overwhelm, our overall well being. This includes physical, emotional, mental, spiritual health and the health benefits of being plugged into a church and having an active faith life. Our people are generally happier. They live longer, there's a lower risk of addiction, it boosts your immune function, it lowers your blood pressure, and you have greater social support. So it's really important to be plugged in to a local church. I said it before, I'll say it again. It's a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. It's messy. There's imperfect people. But there are three. Let me give you three scientific reasons that you want to, consider going to church with, especially with your kids and your family. Spiritual rhythms strengthen families. That faith practice, it provides structure and regularity and predictability and predictability and consistency. Those are really important building blocks for building resilience when hard things come. Traditions are also a, really shared, a sacred shared engagement. It's a collective time to rest and to celebrate. And I'm telling you that is one of the greatest joys in my life is to look down the row at church and to see my family there, my extended family, and see that we are all there together. We know we've all had maybe a tough week. Some of us have had a good Week, we can celebrate, we can pray. That is, it's just really great. The second thing it does is it improves our mental health. And in a world where we have a youth mental health crisis, kids need all the holistic support they can get. As I told you before, faith reduces stress. It provides a, cognitive framework to process trauma and pain. That is really important. It gives us a way to think about it and to process it. And when it's adopted in the context of healthy relationships, having spiritual guidelines at home causes kids to be less likely to adopt risk taking behaviors that negatively impact their mental health. And faith communities are just an invaluable support. I think of some things that we've walked through as a family that have been really difficult. And I think, where would we be without our church family? Where would we be? I think during COVID when we were having a toilet paper crisis, I mean, crisis, you know, thinking we are going to have to learn to be homesteaders and come up with something. It was my very own radio producer who showed up and shared a package of precious toilet paper with us. And that seems like a silly example, but honestly, there have been much deeper, harder things that we have not had to walk through alone. And faith communities create a sense of belonging. It's a trustworthy source of safe social engagement for your family. Those social connections around shared faith traditions, they create a safety net for us. And that sense of community strengthens our emotional health. So I just encourage you to look, to look for a church in that. And I'm going to talk now.

How do we look at a church and know it's safe for kids to go to?

A, question I get is how do we look at a church and know it safe for our kids to go to? And before I say that, I do want to say that in a world where technology and programming often take center stage, it's really easy for churches to get caught up in chasing polished presentation, to think about production value. And especially with online churches, all of a sudden it's like you're having to listen to yourself sing back on the worship video and you think, oh, is that what I sound like in church? Or what's the lighting like? And those tools can be used to enhance worship, but I believe they should never overshadow the true heart of a church, which is relationships. Church is not about flashy graphics, perfect soundtracks. It's about people connecting and growing and walking through life together in authentic community. And especially for children's programming, some of those nicer resources are just that, they're really nice that they should never be prioritized over relationships. That means valuing those Face to face connections, meaningful conversations, genuine care. I mean, who cares really if there's all the latest video technology, but your child's still sitting in the corner alone and no one has even said hello to them. And when relationships take precedence that the church becomes a place where love is lived out, where faith is shared, where lives are transformed. And that is not happening because of programming. That's be happening because of people. The people who show up and invest in one another. And so often I think, you know, when we're living in this world of infotainment where we, feel obligated in every way, we teach children to make it entertaining. Sometimes it can be really difficult because kids don't differentiate church from other environments. Like if church looks like a concert that they went to, it removes the sacred a little bit. So I am definitely old school. I will just out myself right now. I love those old sacred moments because when I talk to young people, that's the thing they want to go back to because it's different, it feels different, it feels more peaceful. There is a more specific, all of those sensory connections that we have, what we see, what we hear, what we smell. Even like thinking of, of if that's candles or if that is the Lord's supper, if that's taking communion. All of those tangible senses signal to us of memories and way to process things. But when you're walking into a church, one of the most important things, especially if you have kids, is making sure they are safe. So I can't give you every piece of advice, but I can give you just some general guidelines to consider when you're looking at a church. And maybe you could look at your own church and think, what could we do better? So safety of kids is of primary importance and a lot of times we think, oh, they're safe in a church. But the reality is that, that predators will come and look for church environments to abuse children because they know that church people are trusting. And so that's where we have to be as wisest serpents and gentlest doves. And so some of those just basic things that should be in place are background checks. Ask, do you do background checks on all staff and volunteers? And what is the screening process? You can ask about the training programs for volunteers and leaders. Just say, what kind of things are they trained on? Maybe they have a training manual that you can look at. How often are they trained? What are they told about? Are they talked about? Do they talk about abuse prevention and other safety things? This is a great. I'll just put in a personal plug here. There's a lot of times in my own church and other churches as a nurse, people have asked me to look at this and say, what else could we add? Or should we add that that's a great way for, healthcare professionals to engage and serve their church? another really important thing to ask about is accountability. Is there a system for oversight of leaders? How, what is the accountability here? How who is answering to who? And that can be important because you can know also who to go to if there's any issue, concern or question. Look at their policies and procedures. Look at their abuse prevention policies. So there are some standards there, like having a two adult rule, making sure that no adult is ever alone with a child. You can ask about how do they handle complaints or reporting incidents or protecting children from harm. What, what happens? What's the policy here? And then look at their health and safety. What is their protocol for emergencies, for food allergies or other medical needs that might come up? The third thing that you can ask about is the curriculum and the teaching, making sure that those lessons are age appropriate. Do they align with biblical truths? Are they fear based? Because fear based strategies are really effective in generating fear, but they're really ineffective at learning, at effective learning and changing behavior. So think, are these developmentally appropriate? And look at, spiritual growth. So are they really trying to foster faith rather than just fun or entertainment? My producer was a children's minister for a long time and she said, she's told me several times before and it's so convicting a lot of times as parents, when we pick up our kids, we, the first question we ask them is, did you have fun? Which isn't a bad question in and of itself to ask. But wow, when I stepped back and thought about that, what a communication we're giving to our kids, our primary communication is, did you have fun? If you did, then this was successful and that's the feedback that I want from you. So asking what did you learn? What friends did you make? What did you learn about God today? you know, those things are so that, that, that's something that we really need to think about.

There are several red flags when looking for a new church

A fourth thing you can ask about is parent involvement. So there's three elements here to consider. Transparency. Is the ministry open to having parents observe or participate? Are, lesson plans, activities shared with the parents? Is there a transparency there? If you're asking? And then second is communication. How well does the ministry keep parents informed about events or lessons or any issues that arise? And then the Third would be partnership looking for a ministry like I told you before, that emphasizes working with parents to support spiritual growth at home. They should be your partners in that. Other things you consider are just the physical environment. Look, is it clean? Is there security present? Is there a check in desk? Are there people who are walking around on a security team? Is it especially in larger churches, what is the presence of law enforcement? Sometimes that can be there. They'll have a resource office, officer. Are the facilities maintained? Does it look like it's a safe, clean place to play with well defined check in and checkout procedures that you know your child's going to be safe when you check them in. And then you can ask about some boundaries, like what about the areas like the bathrooms, are they monitored or supervised? How do they take little kids to the bathroom? Now when kids are in school this is a little bit different because they're doing this five days a week and they're with one teacher. And sometimes in church it's once a week and their teachers or their volunteers can change. And so there may be need to be some additional safety measures that are there. You might also, especially if you have a child who has special needs, ask what kind of accommodations there are, how inclusive it is. We have interviewed on this program before Sandra Peoples. You can go to sandrapeoples.com and you can find she has books written about this and you can listen to past shows. But that is a whole topic in and of itself. And then look at the relationship dynamics. Do you see positive relationships between the children, between their peers, between the children and the adults? Do the, does that seem to be, have healthy boundaries? Do kids enjoy that interaction? You can also ask about how they handle things like bullying. And then small groups. What are the small group settings that help your kids to pursue greater connections or more personalized interactions? And then you know, looking again when we talk to you about Alex McFarland you could go to church, service. You can go to church, find I'm sorry, mychurchfinder.org mychurchfinder.org again do your homework and make sure that you're, you're checking all of these things. But it can be a great starter to look for a church. But look at the community and the values. These, what is their biblical worldview? What it are, their mission, their vision, their values? Does it align with your beliefs? Beliefs? How are they involved in the community? And those can be, look at things, those can be good things, some red flags to look for, some things that should elicit More questions and more concern. First would be secrecy. So if leaders discourage parental involvement, if they discourage observation, if they're not sharing with you their, their curriculum, if they're, you know, really discouraging parental involvement, that is a red flag. Another one would be over reliance on charisma. So ministries that don't really have checks or balances or accountability, it's just like, oh, well, that's Bob. Everybody knows Bob. So, no, it's him. You know, we can't just overly rely on a personality. There has to be some safety protocols in there. Another thing to the red flag would be unclear policies. If you ask about policies for safety or training or screening and you just kind of get this, like, deer in the headlights look like, well, again, well, it's Betty. She's been in the nursery forever. Well, I'm not saying that that's always a bad thing. I'm just saying that it probably warrants more questions. What safety measures? Huh? Just ask more questions and trust your instincts. If something feels off, just take the time to investigate a little further. Because your child's well being and spiritual growth are worth ensuring the environment is truly safe and healthy. And that's what we want to cultivate a safe and healthy environment. Some of their earliest, most formative memories, so that later on in life, when things maybe get rough, they go back to that church. And I remember on a podcast, with my daughter, she told me the podcast host asked her, how did you transfer the childhood habit into adulthood? And she said, it's about the heart posture more than the home structure. So, yes, you can make kids go to church, but if your heart is not engaged in relationship and why that can be difficult. Okay, well, when we come back, I'll talk about church on vacation. How do you do that? Should you do that and should you make your kids go, don't go away. We got more to talk about on the other side of this version.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Break.

 : The AFR app is a powerful tool, but it does have limitations. You can't use it to change the oil in your vehicle or get rid of carpet stains. It won't walk the dog, won't pick up the dry cleaning or take the kids to practice. But while you're doing those things, you can listen to your favorite AFR content through the app on your phone, smart device, or Roku. Just go to your app store or visit afr.net listen to AFR wherever you go with the AFR app.

Overcomer by Mandisa: So much on your mind Nothing's really going right Looking For a ray of hope. Whatever it is you may be going through, I know he's not going to let it get the best of you. You're an overcomer. Stay in the fight till the final round. You're not going 'Cause God is holding you right now. You might be down for a moment feeling like it's hopeless. That's when he reminds you that you're an overcomer. You're an overcomer.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Overcomer by Mandisa and and hey, no matter what is coming your way this Friday, this weekend, this month, this year, God has made you an overcomer. We know that we are overcomers in Christ and I pray that this will encourage you. And we're talking today about our prescription for hope, which is going to church. This is the third healthy habit that we are exploring in 2025. We're in week three and we're talking about going to church. And as I mentioned before, this is a habit I have always had since I was a little tiny baby. I'm grateful that my parents had me in church and I'm grateful that I grew up going to church with my grandmother, especially, being able to sit with her, sing with her in the church choir, all of those things. And you know, I think back to times in my life where the church has just been a beacon of hope in a time that seemed very hopeless. I remember in particular on 911 now, you have to remember for people, for younger kids who are growing up now, we didn't really have cell phones or smartphones then and communication was really limited. I was in my master's degree program when all of that happened. I went home. I could not get in touch with my husband. Was. It was a very few anxious hours waiting to see what was going to happen, waiting for him to come home. I couldn't get him on the phone. And when he finally came home, he came home and we said, what do we do? And we just said, let's just go up to the church and see if anybody's up there. And so we went and the parking lot was filled, it was just filled. It was in the middle of the day. But we just all went in and prayed together. And that is just what I have needed. And you know, I think when I was raising my kids and being estranged from my own mother, I really felt ill prepared to be a mother myself. And I thought, how am I going to do this? And one of the secrets of that was going to church. I needed a strong support system that was going to serve Speak life to me and over me. In those days, I needed to find home and community in a church, and I didn't focus on dragging my kids there.

Should you make your kids go to church? That's a question many get asked

So that's a question I get a lot. Should you make your kids go to church? Well, you've heard me say before and you've heard this cliche that rules without relationship lead to rebellion. I think that absolutely, in every Christian home, it should be an expectation to go to church. But if parents are doing that, your kids are going to do that. That's how we get them to eat their vegetables or wear their seatbelt or any other health, adoption behavior. And sometimes kids can go through a season where it's a struggle, where they feel like they don't have any friends. I would encourage you to listen to them in that season. Make sure you're not missing anything. Talk with those leaders that are there, help them to get your child engaged. But honestly, I didn't have to drag my kids sometimes I had to drag myself there. And I just dared to be authentic and transparent spirit when I went. And my kids followed that, and they followed that search for connection. And that is really important. So we didn't ever have a rule, per se, about that. We only had one rule, hard and fast, that was we adopted for church. We, my husband and I told our kids, the one rule is that if you ever invite anybody to church, you, you don't have to ask. We will find a way to get them. We will give anybody a ride, we will take anybody, we will pick anybody up, we will host anybody. You never have to ask us if you can ask someone to church. Just feel free to ask away and we will figure it out. And that they really took that to heart and that was great. So sometimes in some seasons where maybe they didn't have as many kids that were in that age group, they just created their own youth group, which was fantastic. But one of the other habits that we have had that has been extremely rewarding for our family is going to church when we're traveling, when we're on vacation. Now I get it. A lot of times it can be easy. That's the last thing that you want to think about. But for, us, it has been so good to teach our kids the skill of finding a church where you go somewhere they can find a community of believers anywhere they go. And I didn't start off thinking, oh, I'm going to teach my children to find a community of believers. I just thought, well, we should probably go and let's just try it. And see, you know, I wish there was more intention behind that, but that is what happened. So our kids would get online. Which, by the way, this is something Alex McFarland and I talked about last time he was on. Make sure your website is really good. Honestly, invest in your website, because that is how people find a church. That's how we got on. We would teach our kids to go and find a church that was in the area to look at their statement of belief and see what aligned with ours and find somewhere to go. Now we let our kids take turns looking up different churches and planning for us to go. It's also a great opportunity to be a visitor. If you are a regular attender and you have a church home and you walk in and you know that spot and that pew you is your spot. And you know that you're gonna see Bob and Betty on the way in and she's gonna hand you a peppermint and you know, you know all those things. It can be really humbling to walk in and feel like there's no sign that tells me where the worship center is. Like, I don't know where to take my kids. And we've walked through this giant parking lot. No one has said hello to us. But we've had some really great experiences. We've been to a tiny little mountain church where there was no sound system. It was actually in this old wood chapel that was beautiful with the best acoustics you could imagine. Just one guy and a guitar. He led the worship, and then he preached. We have been to a college church on a university campus that met in a college. So we worshiped with college students. We have been to one of the oldest churches in the United States. And that was really amazing to walk in and to think about so many people hundreds of years ago. You know, there's not things here that are much older than that. But think about people who had worshiped there from the beginning, the founding of our country, and generations that had come after that. We did go to a church on the beach. that church gave us lays and smoothies. My kids were a big fan of that one, by the way. But that was a great experience. We've been to an outdoor church in a foreign country. We have just been to a little country church in Kentucky. But in each case, our kids, they weren't looking for a church home necessarily, but they found home away from home in a church. They learned that the church exists outside the walls of our church at home. And that has been really, really helpful. And so. And in looking for a church, one of the things that I really appreciate about churches is I really love a good intergenerational church. I do. I think that it strengthens community and connections and it bridges generational gaps. When you have people of all ages and life stages coming together, it fosters a, mutual understanding and empathy and respect across different life stages. Older people, their eyes light up when someone walks in with a baby. And babies love having the attention. Teenagers love talking to older people who have lived such interesting lives. And it just promotes spiritual growth for all ages. We can role model. Older believers can role model what it looks like to live out their faith through different life stages. But at the same time, younger members bring fresh perspective and innovation and fresh ideas that can invigorate a church life. I also believe it builds resilience and a sense of belonging. Because when you have challenges, if you're having parenting struggles, you can be there with people who have been there. Marriage struggles, grief, illness, having that, that support system is wonderful. And especially seniors who may be, feel more isolated, ah, may not be able to get out as much. Being able to see young people and engage with young people is so great. And we see that the Bible tells us that it is valuable for generations to work and worship together. We see this in Titus, we see this in Psalms, and that is really encouraging. and it also enhances a worship ministry. You can have diverse worship experience. Now, I will confess, I love hymns. I love traditional worship. I love that. But there are also, we have to be really careful to think, okay, well, are we having a consumer mentality? Are we thinking about what's really honoring God or what is pleasing to me, what makes it easier for me to worship. But there can be, there's a beautiful thing. I love seeing an intergenerational choir where people are singing together and blending together different, different styles or different traditions and just sharing the ways that they connect. I think that is a beautiful thing and we could dive into that a lot more.

I think intergenerational churches are beautiful examples of God's design

And I have, before I have talked about that. But, I, I do love hymns. And intergenerational churches also just encourage us model what does that look like? To have a lifelong faith with hills and valleys and ups and downs and challenges and triumphs and, and to see people working together in different teams, A ministry team made up with the wisdom of older people and the strength of, of middle aged adults, dare I say, and the energy of young people. I think that's absolutely beautiful. It also prepares the church for the future. It sustains the Church body. It strengthens their identity. It gives kids grandparents who maybe don't have grandparents nearby or don't have relationships with their grandparents. But I just think the, intergenerational church is just a beautiful living example of God's design for his people. Just a family that is going to go stronger together by valuing and learning from each other, where generations, they thrive and they worship and they serve together. I really, really do appreciate that so very much.

Research shows that about two thirds of children abandon church in young adulthood

And so I will go back a little bit, to hymns, because this is something that really quickly sparks spirited, spirited. I'm, using that word liberally. Intergenerational debate. And I know some of you are sitting in front of your radio, you're sitting in your car, and you have thoughts, you have opinions. But here's a, very sober truth. The truth is, research shows that about two thirds of children who attend church will abandon the practice and sometimes even their faith in young adulthood. Now, there's a lot of different reasons for that, but as older generations, seeing younger generations walk away from the church in droves, we need to ask ourselves why and what we can do to engage them. Now, when we're talking specifically about music, music is the natural overflow of a heart in fellowship with God. And so often when we think about what we like about a church, we think, oh, well, I like their music or I don't like their music. And that's, that's a kind of dangerous place to be. Because when we go and when we engage, when we worship, when we sing, that should be an overflow of what our own personal devotion and spiritual life has been like in the week that we are ready to contribute to corporate worship, not just receive it. Although there's some times where that's all that you can do. And on those Sundays, that's okay. But it helped. The scripture tells us to sing songs and hymns and spiritual songs. Now, a hymn addresses and celebrates God. It has the purpose of praise and adoration. Hymns are great because they are theologically rich. Those lyrics are vetted. They have been sung for sometimes thousands of years when we look at some of the older hymns. But a psalm is a scripture set to music that's usually from the book of Psalms. So we're thinking of different kinds of songs. While a spiritual song can be any song with a spiritual theme. Now, that is from the Bible. Psalms, hymns, spiritual songs. I've talked with Bert Harper about that before. He affirmed my interpretation of the Scripture. And so for those who are die hard all and only hymns, you can read Ephesians 5, 1921. Interpret however the Lord leads you. But hymns do play a special role in our worship experience.

Let me talk about hymns. Hymn lyrics reinforce rich doctrine

Let me talk about hymns. They keep us connected to our heritage and history. It is amazing to lift your voice in the same song that's been sung for hundreds of years. Hymn lyrics are so true. They survived fads of language or rhythm, evolutions or musical trends. And those words are often taken straight from scripture and they reinforce rich doctrine. And it's basically going to school for a lesson set to song. I mean we do this all the time now. How many of you learned your times table learned to a song? This is how we learn doctrine. Doctrine. Hymns are also written to be sung corporately. 4 part in singable key, standing next to different people from all walks of life. Don't you love it when that rolling base comes along? You know, when the roll is called up yonder? Maybe that's your your thing, maybe not. But it is amazing to seeing see people sincerely sing words of truth and our faith is strengthened exercising it in literal concert with other people, with some who can sing and some who are making a joyful noise. But hymns use music to position our thoughts, to move our emotions, to compel us to action. Those songs are rich with beautiful language, with metaphor, with illustration that actually improve our vocabulary. That's great for our kids and our conversation and you know, looking at it as well. That song was written by a wealthy businessman who lost everything in the Great Chicago Fire and then lost four daughters in a shipwreck. Saying it is. Well, I mean, who is not moved by how great thou art? Congregational singing in church together. Not just worshiping online or listening to worship music on your own. But congregational singing magnifies our praise. Think about how society is thrilled cheering in a sporting arena. How much more so in a worship arena. Paul sang hymns in prison. Jesus sang at the last supper. Hymns can unite generations and help us savor the sacred and strengthen the faith of our kids. I just, like I said, I love everything about church. The smiling, the shaking hands, the hugging. What I love most is sitting with my families. Now, I didn't get to talking about whether you should have paper or online. I said that I would, but I will revisit that, in a future ask doctor, nurse, mama. But in the meantime, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you until I see you on Monday.

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Jeff Chamblee: Opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

Ask Dr. Nurse Mama Friday! Go to Church. Jessica answers questions from listeners about this week's healthy habit. 

Rx for Hope: Go to Church