Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And listen, I invite you, whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, if you are in the busyness of summer, if you are a mom just trying to, you know, wrangle all the chaos in your house, if you're at work, if you are on the road, if you're driving, wherever you are, I just invite you to just take a breath, just to calm down and just take a moment to pause and to be silent. Because we live in a culture that is louder, faster and more distracted, distracted than ever before. And most of us spend our days consuming, consuming information. We are looking at text messages and emails and social media and news alerts and podcasts and endless notifications, and we have unprecedented access to information. But many people report feeling spiritually disconnected, emotionally exhausted, and we're just unsure what to do with a life that suddenly just feels so complicated. We look back at all of these nostalgia trends and we just want a simpler time. And at the same time, when we're so digital connected, rates of anxiety and loneliness and depression and burnout continue to rise across every age group. And we're connected to everything and everyone. Yet many of us struggle to connect with ourselves. Even we can't even hear ourselves think, much less have time to talk with a friend and to pray to God. And for generations, believers practice habits that help them slow down and reflect and hear God's voice. One of those practices is journaling. Now, some of you are getting really excited right now, and some of you are already tuning out, like, oh, no, this is not for me. Let me invite you to reconsider. Because we're not talking about just recording events, but intentionally engaging with scripture, taking time to actually process your emotions, tracing God's presence through life's ups and downs and hills and valleys and joys and sorrows. And our guest today discovered the power of this practice during one of the most difficult seasons of her life. After enduring years of grief and hardship and overwhelming challenges that followed her son's diagnosis, Allison Byxbe found herself desperately searching for God's presence in the middle of suffering. Don't we all? Through journaling and scripture, she found a pathway forward for healing, hope, and spiritual renewal. Allison is a professional communication professor. She's a certified journal to the self instructor, a certified journal facilitator through the therapeutic writing Institute, and founder of two thriving journaling communities. And her new book, Journaling as Spiritual Practice, offers practical tools for anyone who longs to encounter God more deeply and develop a sustainable rhythm of reflection and spiritual growth. Allison, welcome. We are so glad to have you here.

Allison Byxbe: I'm so excited to be here, so thank you for having me.

Your personal love for journaling came from your personal journey 

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Allison, you. As I said, when I talk about journaling, there are going to be some journaling enthusiasts and some who are saying, never done that. Don't know that I even want to think about trying. But your personal journey, your. Your personal love for journaling came from your personal journey. Can you share with us what God looked like to you, what life looked like in that season?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, absolutely. So I was still a newlywed. we had been married for a little over a year, and we had had our first child. And we ran some genetic testing because we were noticing some things just felt off and weren't quite lining up like they should with milestones. And the genetic test came back that our son has a rare genetic disorder. And along with it, just a host of, complications, across the board for him. His physical health, his emotional health, his intellectual capabilities, all of it. And all of a sudden, life was just full of a lot of question marks. And I really struggled to understand, how God, could do something like that or allow something like that. That was so heavy and so hard for a little tiny boy because he was not even a year old when we got his diagnosis. And, it looked at and just knew our whole lives had changed. The trajectory of our family had shifted. And it felt really hard to trust God for good things because it just felt like the rug had been ripped out from underneath us. And when you feel like you can't trust somebody, there's just a disconnect. Walls go up, and it becomes really hard to relate to anybody. and in particular for me, it became really hard to relate to God.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, I have been there in so many parents journeys as they walk that diagnosis journey as they seek answers. And sometimes it comes quickly, and sometimes it's really slow and it's really painful. But one thing that I see that is really common across those journeys is a struggle to see the goodness of God. To see how could a, good God allow this to happen and to feel God's presence in those spaces. It can feel very isolating. It can feel very lonely. You can have a range of human emotions, including anger, depression, sadness, just all kinds of things. Why do you think it's so hard for people who are in that situation or just even today, just in life, when life feels hard? Why is it so hard to recognize God's presence and to sit with those uncomfortable emotions?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, well, I think you really pegged it with that idea of sitting with uncomfortable emotions. it's. It's hard to sit with pain. It's hard to sit with confusion. It's hard to sit with unanswered questions. We want the resolution. We want the neat, tidy bow at the end of the story that makes everything okay. And, we want to feel good feelings. Right. And not have to deal with those really, really hard ones. and it causes us to rethink a lot of what we thought we knew and understood. And so, a lot of us, I think instead of really allowing ourselves to sit in that space and allow that to move through us, we push and fight against it. which I think actually keeps us stuck there longer than we would have.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I think that is very true because it is just hard to sit with those uncomfortable emotions. And a lot of times when you experience something traumatic, it's. You have a. Almost a trauma response. You know, you fight flight, freeze, or sometimes fawn, you become overly pleasing. That's a new trauma response that we've been talking about a lot. And during those times, I think that metaphors in scripture, you've talked about those. How all of a sudden these word pictures become so powerful, and they're really timeless things like living water or daily bread or God is a, tower that we can run to. How do these metaphors in scripture, how did they become a lifeline for you? And how did they start to help you to return to God's presence and to feel that God is there even in the midst of great suffering.

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, that's such a good question. You know, I think what happens when we have, maybe a traumatic experience or a great difficulty is all of a sudden we're in a new context, one that we may not understand very well. And so we're grappling to even be able to put a name to what we're experiencing. And so that is where metaphors, came in for me and really helped me have a vocabulary, have words and language to put to my experience. And what I started to see as I looked in scripture is that a lot of times God's presence actually showed up as metaphor. And I began to just see and take note of how is God showing up in these different places in scripture for other people? And could it be possible that he is showing up, he is present with me in some of those same ways? And even just having the words to say that's what my experience is like, was so, so powerful because grief, pain, trauma, it's so isolating. You feel as though you're the only person on the planet, even though we know we're not going through that or people just aren't going to understand. And so to look at a story in scripture and go, I'm not alone. I'm not the only person who has, felt the absence of God or struggled to connect with God was so, was such a gift in that time, to rely on.

One of the stories that you bring up is Elijah and hearing God in the gentle whisper

Dr. Jessica Peck: One of the stories that you bring up is Elijah and hearing God in the gentle whisper. And so often I hear Allison, people say, like, scripture is old. How does it relate to my life? But when we look at the cultural circumstances and some of the, the details of the, that seems so far away seem like that's really hard to relate to. Like, I, I don't know about you, Alison, but I have never challenged a group of prophets, false prophets on the top of a mountain and ask God to bring down fire from heaven. But the human emotions behind these stories are just remarkably relatable when we look at these biblical characters. And there was something about that story with Elijah and hearing God in the gentle whisper. How did that story resonate with you so deeply and what did it teach you, Scripture being so applicable to even our own modern day lives?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, well, I think we look at Elijah and he's pretty tired and burnt out, even though he had a major victory. But as he moved on from that victory, life just didn't seem to be looking like he thought it would. It wasn't following the script he had in his head for what God was supposed to do or going to do. And so I identified with Elijah on that level of life is not quite like I pictured it was going to be. and then also I think when God tells Elijah, go stand out on the mountain, I'm, going to meet you there, there's almost in my heart this expectation of the stern lecturing parent. All right, he's about to have a come to Jesus meeting with God and God's going to set him straight. You know, and in some ways I was really wrestling with is what's happening to me and my son and our family. Is it because God's angry with us? Like, why, why does it feel like this? and so what we discover is that through Elijah's story, God is actually not in any of the destructive forces that first come by the mountain, the fire, the earthquake, and such. But it's rather in that gentle whisper. And I think even more profoundly for me was the realization that if God is whispering, that means he's really, really close and he's very intimate with us. And that was one of the things that I was really grappling with, is feeling an absence. And so I think that's why that story on those three levels was just so impactful for me and gave me something to hold on to and to realize. Yeah, I've never confronted however many prophets of BAAL before and brought down all the fiery rain on them, you know, but I have been tired and worn out by my life. I have wondered how God was going to show up and what that would be like. And, and, and we see it so beautifully in Elijah's story.

Dr. Jessica Peck: We really do. And when people experience circumstances like yours, Allison, a child with a unexpected, ah, diagnosis or any circumstance, all of a sudden, like, we just become so hungry for information. And if we're talking to God, we're asking him for answers, like, why did this happen? What's going to happen? What's the future going to look like? What do I need to do? What's your will like? And we want this, like, tangible information exchange. And, and we may do that in other ways. Like you may research your son's diagnosis, you may research. And those things are not inherently bad. But there's a real difference between interacting with God as a transactional request for information. Like, okay, God, I'm asking you this, you tell me. There's a real difference between just experiencing God's presence, which Elijah did through that gentle whisper. How did you balance that tension of wanting answers, wanting information, but also being willing to just sit in God's presence.

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, and that's a real tension to kind of sit in the middle of. for me, initially, I did turn to a self sufficiency, a. Well, God hasn't gotten our story right. So I'm going to figure this out, and I'm going to try and write the ship myself. but that kept me very productively busy researching and appointments and, you know, looking for alternative answers and therapies. but what it didn't do was really allow me to sit in the presence of God. And, God, when I could finally make peace with God, may not be giving me all of the answers, but he was always giving me his presence. That's what made the difference. because we. I've heard it said before, you know, we want answers and a plan, and really what God wants is relationship with us. and so the willingness to slow down and to sit with the hard feelings in the presence of God is really where the healing began to happen.

What did you learn about the sovereignty of God during that time?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Allison, how did you wrestle with the sovereignty of God? Because when you recognize that God is God and he can do anything, he could heal your son, he could answer your prayers. And recognizing that life didn't go that way, but also seeking God's word, feeling God's presence, where. What did you learn about the sovereignty of God in that time?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, that's a great question. I think learning that, acknowledging the honesty of God, I would have written this story differently. This is not the line I would have put in here. And acknowledging that, I think it's actually one of the gifts of, being in an emotionally difficult place is, it allows you, if you'll let it, to make you very honest with God. And that can actually be a really good thing. so to tell God this is not how I wanted the story to go or what I would have have done. but then to also recognize that in this hard place, in this difficult story, God is with us. And he is showing me more grace than I may have seen otherwise. I am learning more about him and his grace and his goodness. In this place that feels broken, there's still beauty and there's still goodness.

This year so far, your partnership with Preborn has saved over 50,000 babies and moms from abortion

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you have been listening to Alison's story, but coming up, we're going to talk about writing yours. And when life is so chaotic, we try to think or find our way out of our problem. But what if we just slowed down to reflect on what God has already told us? Next, we'll talk about journaling and what a role this can play in your spiritual journey. What if one moment could change a life forever? Every day, mothers facing unplanned pregnancies walk into preborn network clinics searching for hope. Through a free ultrasound, they meet their baby for the first time. And when they see that tiny life and hear that heartbeat, everything can change.

Dan Steiner: Hey friend. Dan Steiner, president at PreBorn here with a heartfelt thank you. Because you know what? This year so far, your partnership with PreBorn has saved over 50,000 babies and moms from abortion. And it wouldn't have happened without you. What you are doing together with PreBorn is truly changing generations. Every tax deductible dollar that you give is used to rescue babies lives and lead moms to Jesus Christ. So far this year alone, We've seen over 8,000 women give their hearts to Christ. All because you helped with an ultrasound scan for $28 or a machine for $15,000. So thank you. Your caring help saves lives both for earth and for eternity. God bless you.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And there's even more to celebrate. This year alone, more than 5,100 women have made decisions for Christ through the ministry of PreBorn. That's because your generosity saves lives for both earth and eternity. Right now, more mothers are waiting for that life changing moment. $28 helps to provide one life saving ultrasound $140 helps rescue five babies to donate to help pound 250 and say the keyword baby that's pound 250 baby or visit preborn.com/AFR. that's preborn.com/AFR. every gift is tax- deductible.

Testimony by Terrian: M this is the moment where everything turns didn't think I would see it was hard to believe Heaven crashes to earth I've read the stories of all that you've done parted the sea and set captives free Never thought I'd be one I am a living, breathing, walking testimony I am the living proof of what the Lord has done. Crazy but they can't take away my story

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is testimony by Terrian And today we've heard the powerful testimony of author Allison Byxbe She's written journaling as a spiritual practice, tracing the lines of grace to God's presence. I actually just got goosebumps as I said that because if we would really take time to do that in our life, oh, how our life would be so different. And we're going to talk in the segment about the power of journaling. Now for some journaling sounds intimidating. For some of you, it just sounds maybe boring if you're really honest and you're maybe imagining, oh, this beautiful notebook or perfect handwriting or profound insights or maybe that that's just something that women do and a daily discipline that I could never maintain. But Allison's approach is really different. She describes journaling not as performance, but as an invitation and A place to bring our real selves before God. And in a world that is moving at the speed of a smartphone, anything that we can do to slow down and to hear God's voice is something that I am interested in talking about.

Allison says paying attention is a spiritual discipline

Now, Allison, one of the things that you've said is that paying attention is a spiritual discipline. And I have to say, I. I have had seasons of my life where I am an avid journaler, and then some seasons that are just so busy, it's been more quiet. But when I read back, my journals, I absolutely remember things that I had completely forgotten about as I wrote them down. And when I pay attention to what God is doing in my life and go back and read that record, it's pretty amazing. And I don't ever wish, oh, wow. I wish I journaled some. Some less. You know, I wish I hadn't written this down. I think I wish I'd written down more. How does this translate to paying attention as a spiritual discipline?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, well, I think there is so much happening around us that we just miss, because like you said, the pace of our lives is so hectic and crazy. And so when I notice something, it's one thing to pay attention to it, but neurologically, it actually embeds a little further in our working minds. If we write it down and we allow our brains to organize that information in a meaningful way. and so we take that, it's kind of like we get bigger dividends. Not just that we noticed it, but then we actually wrote it down. transforms the way our brain is working and thinking about things. And so we can train our minds to pay attention to the good things, to the grace that we see happening all around us, to the small things, the big things, and everything in between. And it's just this really interesting way to, again, trace those lines of grace to God's presence, because he's at work whether we are seeing it or not. but writing it down is a way to really, focus in on that.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Allison, I want to affirm the neuroscience of that, because it does. It trains our brain in a different way, and especially in a world that's so primed for electronic communication, which is just not the same as actually sitting down and writing something by our hand. It really does imprint and mold our brains in a different way than we even get from these quick, you know, fast disappearing electronic messages that are just not designed to stick around and that are intended to be really fast and sometimes even thoughtless. But when.

What misconceptions do you see that some people have about journaling? 

When people think about journaling There's a lot of people who immediately think like, okay, I am not a writer. There's nothing that interests me less than sitting around and writing down how I feel about something or what happened. What misconceptions do you see that some people have about journaling and envisioning it in this social media presented way that we're supposed to do it, you know, with ambiance, and like, you know, with a mountain and a stream in the background and we're supposed to have calligra. What are some other misconceptions that you see people when they think that prevent them from maybe thinking about journaling?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, I think people often envision it's page after page and hour after hour just writing down all these thoughts. And it has to be this perfectly curated sentence after sentence. But I tell people, write down one word and that's still journaling. Make a list that can be journaling. Draw a picture if you're so inclined. All of those things count as journaling. And while I'll be the first to say I love a good journaling session with mountains of in the background and that breeze blowing and a good cup of coffee in my hand, most of my journaling happens in the cracks of my day when I'm in car line waiting to pick my kids up, or at a doctor's appointment when I'm waiting to be called back or whatever the case is. It's those little five minute spots in my day that I can grab, and start writing things down and to give myself permission that even five minutes is worth doing.

Allison, what do you envision when we talk about journaling?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, let's talk a little bit about some specifics of journaling. How it's different than just reading scripture or taking sermon notes, you know, as hearing somebody. What, what do you envision when we talk about journaling? Give us a working definition. How do you envision this? What exactly are you encouraging people to do?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, I think the big question that kind of guides almost all of my journaling is how do I see God showing up? and whether that's how do I see God showing up in scripture when I'm encountering it, or how do I see God showing up in a friend's life or my own experience? that's kind of the biggest guiding question. And that's different than just I'm writing down an idea. It's actually engaging me in my present reality. And journaling is so good when approached this way, for cultivating presence. presence with ourselves to connect with ourselves, presence with God to connect with him, which Enables us actually to be more present for other people in our lives. And so that's really what I'm after with journaling. Not just Dear Diary. not just. Here's an interesting idea. but really, how. How am I seeing God here? And a lot of times it just starts with that very simple question. And I don't. A lot of people feel like, well, I got to have all the. I got to have the answer when I come to. To the journal to write. but a lot of times that's my first sentence is, God, where did I see you today? Or how did I see you? in these circumstances? So sorry. M.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You are totally okay. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead, Allison. You're totally okay.

Allison Byxbe: And I. And I wait for the answer. I'm not in a hurry. I mean, if I only have five minutes, that's fine. But I don't feel like I have to immediately come to an answer. Sometimes that answer comes through. Through the actual writing down of the question and the waiting and the pausing and the listening.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That can be so hard to do. But the truth is, Allison, that, you know, when you look at counseling at therapy, therapy, journeys, and you see Christian counselors, journaling is often used as therapy because we know that it works. Stopping to reflect, to think about what you've been through, to name and claim m. Your emotions. Because so often. Honestly, Allison, what I see a lot of times is people walk through life without emotions, and they're not even recognizing that they are. And you may be at home one day, and your spouse is like, why are you so angry? And you're. Your. Your first response is to be angry that they think you're angry. You're like, what do you mean? I'm not angry. But then if you really stop and you think, you know what. What, Maybe I am angry. I am angry. I'm angry that God hasn't answered this prayer. I'm angry that this situation has happened. And really stopping to think through that can be helpful not only for you, but for the people around you. And so there's. There's times where you may be carrying grief or disappointment or anxiety or questions that it just seems like you continually bring before the Lord. And he doesn't answer. How does journaling create a space for healing in that. In your experience?

Allison Byxbe: it creates a space for healing because so much of healing is a process. and writing is a process of uncovering, especially when we're journaling. It's kind of asking those. Those questions of, okay, maybe I am angry. Why am I angry? What am I angry about? what's under what, what belief is this challenging, what narrative am I carrying around in my head, that may or may not actually be true? And so when we can slow down and begin to ask those questions, begin to answer them honestly, I think that's where the healing begins. Because we're able to slow down, lean in, and just take a minute to actually process the lives that we're leading. Because life is going to happen whether we stop and process it or not. But there's so much rich meaning to be found by slowing down and thinking about it and asking those questions.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, a lot of times when I'm talking with the, the girls in my family in particular, we talk about getting in our heads and how like, you know, we all of a sudden will have an emotional reaction to something that happens. And then all of a sudden your head starts writing this story. And I, I know it can happen with men too, but I, I think especially for women, this can be a really big challenge. And it's a challenge for men to speak into this because all of a sudden, you know, they see their wives who've written this story in their head and all of a sudden it's like, oh, he doesn't care. See, he did this. Oh, y. He doesn't care. He's not paying attention. He doesn't love me anymore, or whatever the story may be. We start writing this story in our heads. And I remember encountering a mom not too long ago at a parenting conference who came up to me and the story that she had written in her head, Allison, was that I hate this stage of parenting. Her kids were becoming preteens and she was just thinking about how much she did not like how the changes were, how all of a sudden she felt a little more unwelcome in her kids lives. And they were experiencing these emotions that, that were more difficult for her to fix and she just was feeling unsure about this. And so the story that she had written in her head was I hate this stage of parenting. And she asked me what she should do and we talked about, you know, connecting to her to some resources. But I told her for right then in that moment, what I recommended that she started doing was journaling reasons that she was grateful for this stage of parenting, things that she loved about her kids, writing those things down. And there was something, Allison, about writing those things down that over wrote the story in her head and really like just challenged those things and turned them around. It didn't Mean that there weren't challenges about that time, but it could refocus your heart and your attention and your mind on something that, hey, this is the narrative of, what is there. And when you talk about, you know, these journals, I think about going back and looking and seeing how God has answered your prayers, that there's something really powerful about that.

Allison says journaling has changed the trajectory of her life

And Allison, I would love to know, as you look back, you know, you are now, you've journaled for a long time. This is a discipline that you carry really closely. How do you think that journaling changed the trajectory of your thoughts, of your actions, of your emotions, of your family life, your relationships? If that maybe wouldn't have happened if you hadn't journaled?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, my husband would be the first to tell you that I am a better Allison when I'm journaling. So that has definitely been felt, in my family, the benefits, because it's, it gives me that place to process, that place to challenge and flip the script, the narrative, ask it a different, ask a question, a different way to, to be able to, renew my mind like scripture says. And I was. And I've actually noticed, and this has been probably over the past year, that I am more resilient in the moment. So whereas before difficulties may have taken, kind of taken me under, and it may have taken me days to really process through something, my mind is now more adept at pausing and saying, well, wait a minute, maybe there's a different way to think about this. And I attribute that directly to the journaling that I've done over the years.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, you mentioned your husband and I think it's for men, especially like when we're talking about journaling or emotional reflection. I know there are probably, there's some men out there who likely are really good at this and really good at writing, but I think there's a lot of men who are going to say, this does not sound like this is appealing to me.

Allison Byxbe talks about why journaling is valuable

Let's talk about why journaling is valuable. You, regardless of your gender, your age, your life stage. How does journaling help all of us?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, well, one of my favorite recent stories, I was leading a journaling workshop at a church and one of the participants was a 93 year old man. He sat at the front table, he journaled through every prompt, he engaged every discussion, conversation that was happening that day. So if that 93 year old gentleman can do it, anybody can, for sure. And, it just tickled me to no end that he was there and was just living proof that Journaling it is not, is not something just for women. It's not just for people of a certain age. And it's so accessible. You already know how to pick up a pen and write down a word, and it might be challenging to figure out, well, to name your emotions, or to be really honest. Like, you may have to work through some, hurdles to get to a place where it feels like it's you. But. But the beautiful thing about journaling is there's really no wrong way to do it. And so whatever you write down, whatever you put on the page is helpful and meaningful. And there's so, so much research to back this up. This is not just a feel good, warm, fuzzy hobby for women. there is a. There's so much science that backs up how meaningful it is for us, physically, emotionally, spiritually, just across the board.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you're right. It's for any age and life stage. One of my kids favorite things to do, Allison, is to go back and read their journals if kept when they were children. I was one of those moms who had my kids keep a journal during the summer, you know, and some of my kids, like, they would write a whole page and, and talk about all these things. And then I remember, one child in particular, like, their journal was pretty much, I woke up, I ate breakfast. I, you know, I. My mom made me write in this journal. Like, that's how it is. But even that showcases their personality. And one of the things I'm so grateful for about that time, because sometimes it was just pictures. But looking back, my kids can see the good of God in their life. Even in those early childhood years, seeing the things that they were afraid of, that now they look back and they think, okay, I understand I'm maturing developmentally, but I'm also maturing spiritually. This thing, this problem that seemed like it was the world's end when I was 12 is now. God has been so good and so faithful in that. And so to be able to look back over the record of your life and to see God, God's faithfulness in those times, I think is a really powerful thing. And I know I. I keep a prayer journal. And when I go back and look at my prayer journal and the things that I'm praying about and the things that seem to consume my thoughts and my worries and to see that God took care of that, things that, you know, honestly, I had forgotten about and think, like, okay, yeah, I. I totally forgot about that. Oh, but that consumed my worries for three months. And God deserves the credit for that. When we come back, we'll continue our conversation because journaling is not about producing something impressive that you're going to publish. It's about creating space to be honest before the Lord, to be reflective on your own life and your spiritual journey, to pray and to encounter God. And when we come back, we're going to talk about how this practice not only shapes your spiritual lives, but it shapes your relationships, your identity, and your everyday well being. We'll be right back with more from Allison Byxbe and journaling as a spiritual practice. See you on the other side of this break.

One of the remarkable things about the Bible is that he is a God who speaks

 : Here's Dr. John Oswalt from the American Family Studios documentary, the God who Speaks.

Dr. John Oswalt: One of the remarkable things about the God of the Bible is that he is a God who speaks. The writers of the Bible again and again talk of him as the living God. And when they do, they include. This idea that the idols are dumb, they cannot speak language, is an incredible mystery, really. What is it that makes human beings able to communicate in word? Personally, I think that is the image of God, in us, because God speaks right at the beginning of the Bible, God spoke the world into existence. It did not somehow evolve from his body. It was something that he spoke.

 : Visit thegodwhospeaks.org I've never known a love like yours.

Heart of the Father by Ryan Ellis : So intimate, so powerful. And I've tasted, I've seen and nothing comes close. I've never known a love like, yours. Jesus, your name is power, breath and living water in your spirit guides me to the heart of the Father. Let your grace ring louder every day and every hour. Cause your spirit guides me to the heart of the Father.

Allison Byxbe challenges us to journal as a spiritual discipline

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Heart of the Father by Ryan Ellis. And we're talking about the heart of the Father today and journaling about your experience encountering the heart of the Father. I'm talking to Allison Byxbe She's the author of Journaling as a Spiritual Practice, tracing the lines of grace to God's presence. And in this world where AI is having us, is programming us to be less and less intentional. We are not intentional about the media that we stream. Our life is directed by app notifications, and all around us, we seem to be on autopilot. Allison is calling us, challenging us. Anybody, any life stage, any age, any man, woman, child, it doesn't matter. She's calling us, challenging us to journal as a spiritual discipline. And if we're honest, most of us, we do want to see transformation in our life. We want things like Peace. We want answered prayers. We want to have families who are resilient. We want clarity on things that are confusing, and we want to have a deeper faith. But the truth is that lasting spiritual growth rarely happens in dramatic moments. It is happening through small, consistent practices repeated over time. That's why we talk about 52 Habits for Healthy Families every Friday. We talk about those small practices, those spiritual disciplines, those everyday choices where the mundane becomes miraculous. Transformation. And journaling is one of those practices. Now, Allison has shared her own personal experience of having a son who was diagnosed with a genetic disorder and the role that journaling played in her spiritual journey. But it is something that also impacted her family. Now, Allison, you know, when we talk about our problems today, we really also. Culture primes us for instant gratification. We want instant answers. We want instant fixes, because we have all of these instant resources available to us. But you talk about journaling, that's really something that changes us gradually. You're not just gonna write down something for one day and feel like, oh, wow, that was a miracle of the Lord. It is really something that has to be done every day, right?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, absolutely. And I tell people I think of it more as a rhythm, a, journaling rhythm, than this rigid. You know, it's got to be at this time, every single day for this long, because life ebbs and flows. Our responsibilities, our commitments, ebb and flow.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Flow.

Allison Byxbe: And that's the beautiful thing about journaling is it will meet us right where we're at in the ways that we have the time and capacity for. And like any good habit, the more we engage it, the bigger the return is on it. Right. and the bigger, benefits that we will reap from it. but you should never let the guilt of, oh, I didn't journal yesterday. Keep you from journaling today or the next day. Because anytime you can take pen to page, you're to going to reap some kind of good, good thing from it.

Allison is a journaling coach and has seen personal transformation through journaling

Dr. Jessica Peck: What kind of stories of transformation have you seen? You're a journaling coach, Allison. You've been journaling for a long time. What stories have you seen? How has journaling made a difference in you, your family, someone else that you've coached? What are some tangible ways that we can see how God works through this spiritual practice?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, so many different ways. I mean, something as simple as a lady who came to. To one of, my journaling workshops. I'm not sure who. Who drug her there, but she was kind of adamantly opposed. She's like, I don't journal. This is not my thing. But by the end of our hour, hour and a half together, she'd had the realization, oh, my goodness, I can journal and it can be meaningful. Like, everybody knows that they can write, right? but the idea that it can be meaningful, that light bulb went off for her. And it didn't take hours upon hours. It was a five, a ten minute sprint of time where she put pen to page while we were together. And so that was beautiful that somebody just in that moment had that transformation and now had the kind of inspiration to go and do more of it. I have sat with people who have been processing grief and finally feeling like they have a container, they have a place to put some of that grief, that they have a way to think about and encounter the presence of God, that is different for them. They've, you know, they've never used journaling in that way specifically, quickly. And so, I mean, I could just go on for days, just the stories of people, who are, whose lives are changing. And, they're just seeing journaling differently again, not that dear diary kind of mentality, but this sacred space where God really does truly meet them, and renews their minds and transforms their heart. and it's so, it's really beautiful to see.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, journaling is good. It's good for us to look back and I can read, you know, the, the ways that God has answered my prayers and the ways that I can see that God was there and things that I journaled about that maybe I didn't even see as part of my story. I would go back and I would see it in a whole new light and see, oh, my goodness, look at this person who was there that I just viewed as kind of, you know, a, side thing in the story. But now looking and see how God placed them there just that time to plant exactly that seed to meet me in the moment. I see it in a different way than I see it because I'm older and hopefully I'm wiser and I have more perspective, you know, and, different things, I look at different, different life stages and I just see things in a different way. But you talk about this. Doesn't. It doesn't just impact you personally. You talked about your husband saying a, journaling Allison is a happier Allison. You talk about journaling how it can strengthen your marriage, your friendship, your parenting, your family, relationships. How do you see that happening?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, so I can be, I can be an impulsive person. I can be A person that just wants to get all my cards out on the table when I have something on my mind. Mind. And what I've noticed is that I now turn to my journal often first to process through what I'm thinking so that I don't just spew out whatever is on my brain, to the people who are, I'm in relationship with. And I really think it's probably saved a couple of friendships, that I have that, that ability because, you know, my kids, I teach them some thoughts are inside thoughts and some are outside thoughts. And those inside thoughts, the journal is a great place to have those. And so to have that place, where I can really process and slow down and think through what's going on here, what is really on my heart, what do I really want to say when I go to talk to this person, has been a really instrumental change in how I approach my relationships because it gives me. When you talk about immediate gratification, it gives me the immediate gratification of getting my thoughts out, but without the fallout of maybe hurting somebody's feelings. Because I haven't really thought carefully or mindfully about the best way to talk to them about something.

One of the ways journaling has impacted my life is through my grandmother

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, in the subtitle of your book, you talk about tracing the lines of grace to God's presence. And when you look at journaling in this context of an ecosystem of family, of relationships and friendships and parenting, one of the things that. One of the ways that journaling has impacted my life, Allison, is through my grandmother. I was very close to my grandmother. Everyone called her Granny, so I will call her Granny. And she loved to journal. And actually, when she passed away a few years ago, one of the most precious things that I got were. Were her journals. And she had journals from Bible studies, Bible studies that she had been a part of. And she wrote about things that she was wrestling with her faith. And I mean, I talked to her all the time. We had hours and hours of conversation, but it just wasn't possible to talk about every single thing. And when I look back in her journals and I see some of the things she's journaled about, one of the things I didn't know was that she was actually accepted to nursing school and she want to go, but there was just. The circumstances did not allow for that. There was no way. She had just gotten married, she was moving. You know, it was a different time, a different place. And she wrote about that. And. But then when I realized that I lived with her when I went to nursing school and I Realized that the love and care that she put into my nursing journey was born out of her own desire to be a nurse and the satisfaction that she got. And me having that. No, she never told me that because she never was. Have wanted to take anything away from me. But looking at that, it just gave me a whole different view of that. What do you see as these? And I see that as a line of grace as just God using her and using that and her accepting God's sovereignty and seeing that as God's goodness. What do you see as the lines of grace that are traced through journaling?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah.

Allison Byxbe: Well, I think this image comes to mind for me that there are times in our lives where we, stop or we realize what you did. Like, wow, she was pouring into me because of another time and place in her own story. And we have this ability to essentially turn over a quilt that maybe we've only seen the backside of the messy backside, right? And then we turn it over and all of a sudden we see the big, beautiful picture that God's been putting together through all these lines of grace that he's been sewing into the back of our stories. And from the back we're like, what is this? Even I don't understand it. And then sometimes we get to turn it over. And if we've got a journal, you know, we can see it and we turn it, we turn that quilt over and we just see this beautiful design that he's been putting together all along that's only possible because of the people he's put into our lives, the stories he's, the lives he's given those people to lead, how our lives have intersected with theirs. and then we just get to see all of these intersecting lines of grace that we go, this, this moment I'm standing in right now is only possible because of all of these other intersections of grace that have, have come before me. And that to me, me, like, that's just such a beautiful thing.

Allison says journaling has many benefits, including improved mental health

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, what would you say to someone who's listening, who's thinking, you know, never, journaled before, ever. where would you even start?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, great question. So I tell people, start with five minutes. If you have to set yourself a five minute timer and the only agreement you need to make is for five minutes I'm going to write. Even if what I have to write down is. I don't know what to say next. Because, because it's just keeping your brain engaged, long enough that you can kind of get past that conscious clutter and write down what's really going on in your heart and in your mind? you could start with something simple, like what's bothering me today, or what went well today. I mean, it can be really simple questions, but to tell yourself for five minutes, I'm going to sit here and just write about that, can be a really good start. And I think it'll start to unfold for you the possibility and the potential that journaling holds.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, just the act of writing it out itself is. Is therapeutic and beneficial in many ways. How often, Allison, do you go back and read what you have journaled before? Is that something that's just organic, or is that something that's part of your practice?

Allison Byxbe: It is a part of my practice. In fact, there are times, very often that I will go back immediately after I've written an entry to reread to see what showed up on the page. And there are. Actually. I've been surprised at times like, wow, I didn't even realize two minutes ago I wrote that down. But there it is. and my brain makes another neurological connection for itself. You know, and then I would say my habit tends to be, at natural points in, in the rhythm of life. So at the end of a month, a lot of times I'll go back and reread a month's. That month's worth of journaling, and then, maybe at the end of the year, as well as another kind of natural point where we tend to be more reflective.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And what do you see as the benefit on your health? Not just your spiritual health, but your emotional health, your psychological health, health. Because those things are all intertwined. And journaling, like I said, is usually going to be a part of a therapy journey, even to help us to slow down and to recognize what we're feeling. But it has holistic health benefits. What have you experienced?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, I just. I have experienced an awareness of, Wow, I. I've made it this far. Like, you know, everything might have felt frantic and crazy and, like, how is this even all going to work out? And it allows me that moment to realize, you know what? Some of this stuff has worked itself out. God was doing things all along, and now I can kind of see I've made it to the other side of whatever that big obstacle felt like. And there is a real peace that comes with that of knowing. And that's been my experience all along, of being able to look back and go, I may not have seen it in the moment, but God truly was there each step of the way. And that presence, knowing we're not alone, is so emotionally balancing, Because that's what most of us want. We just want to know that we're not alone in all of this. Trying to figure it out.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, a lot of times I hear from parents, you know, frustration as parents, it can be spouses, anybody. But when you're not processing your emotions intentionally, they're going to come out sideways, you're going to have a relief valve some way, and. And all of a sudden your family gets sprayed with the overflow of your anger, of your anxiety, or whatever emotion it is that you aren't managing. And something's going to come along and tip the balance, and it's like gonna just be the, the one little thing that puts you over the top. And then all of a sudden it seems like, okay, this, this whole. This little thing became a big deal, when really it's that you have underlying anxious feelings, you have underlying fears, you have underlying worries. How does journaling intentionally help you to avoid having that emotional spillover on your family?

Allison Byxbe: Yeah, well, it's like just what you said. The, the spillover happens on the pages instead of on your people. And, that's and important. Right. and it's sitting with it. Journaling facilitates that ability to sit with a feeling long enough to realize really what's underneath it. I've seen a, meme floating around on the Internet, that talk that says something like, I sat with my anger long enough to realize it was that she was grief. You know, and that's such a profound idea. Right. and so I actually, in one of my journals, I have a feelings wheel sticker that just names all these different emotions because oftentimes whatever is presenting the anger is really just a mask for something deeper. And so sitting in that journaling allows me to pull back those layers and go. I think it's actually more that I'm embarrassed. Like, whatever happened just brought out embarrassment in me. And so if I can process that on the page, I don't have to process it on my people, which is. Everybody's more grateful for that.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I love it. Processes on the pages, not the people. It's so true. And really, in a culture that's inviting us just to scroll faster, to numb out, to check out, God is inviting you to check in and to slow down. And journaling is more than a productivity to tool or a memory keeper or just a creative hobby. It can really become a sacred practice. As Allison has so graciously introduced to us today, a place where grace grief meets grace and questions meet truth. And ordinary people like you and me learn to recognize God's extraordinary presence in our everyday life. One page, one prayer, one moment of reflection at a time. I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon your journaling pages. I'll see you right here next time.

Preborn has rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

Jessica talks with Allison Byxbe about the spiritual discipline of journaling. 

https://allisonbyxbe.com/

PreBorn!

Chapters:

(03:47) Your personal love for journaling came from your personal journey

(09:19) One of the stories that you bring up is Elijah and hearing God in the gentle whisper

(13:50) What did you learn about the sovereignty of God during that time?

(15:01) This year so far, your partnership with Preborn has saved over 50,000 babies and moms from abortion

(19:14) Allison says paying attention is a spiritual discipline

(21:29) What misconceptions do you see that some people have about journaling?

(22:51) Allison, what do you envision when we talk about journaling?

(28:42) Allison says journaling has changed the trajectory of her life

(30:16) Allison Byxbe talks about why journaling is valuable

(33:53) One of the remarkable things about the Bible is that he is a God who speaks

(35:46) Allison Byxbe challenges us to journal as a spiritual discipline

(38:50) Allison is a journaling coach and has seen personal transformation through journaling

(42:40) One of the ways journaling has impacted my life is through my grandmother

(45:29) Allison says journaling has many benefits, including improved mental health

(50:58) Preborn has rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion