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: and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend some time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And listen, I have a really big hope today. I have a hope that I'm going to take down my Christmas tree. This is the longest I've ever had it up. I'm so, I am just, you know, wearing that mantra of defeat here. But it has been a crazy time in my life and my home and my family. I hope things are going smoothly for you. Tomorrow is April, and we are just moving, on towards spring. It is Easter week, and I do want to encourage you to invite a friend to church or to plan to go to church yourself. Church is good for the soul, and so go to church. That would be, be a really good thing to do. As I'm looking at the news, you know, I just continue to see an evolution in the news cycle. And you'll hear me talking a lot in the next few weeks, the next few months about AI I am learning as fast as I can. It feels like drinking from a fire hydrant. But AI is here. It's not coming. It is already here, and our kids are adapting to it so much more quickly than we are. And I am going to repeat my concern about how it is impacting worldview. And on Fridays, when I, talk about the healthy habit, I'm also doing a segment called Homefront Headlines where I'm talking about some of the headlines that I'm seeing and just giving you some of the news, but not in a way that's scary, not in a way that's going to make you want to scroll more, because this show does come to an end after our set time here. But it's really to know what's happening, why it matters for your family, and how you should respond to it. And some of the things I'm seeing are even, like, some research that came out today that almost 80, 80% of adults will do what AI or chat or whatever AI platform they're using. They will do what it tells them to do even if they know it's wrong. It is. We see that people are trusting AI more than pastors. I mean this is already happening. It is actively shaping worldview. And now more than ever, kids need us as real humans to engage. And not only kids and, but adults everywhere, those caring people in your life. We need real engagement with real humans. That is something that AI cannot replicate. It mimics human emotions, but it is not human. And we need to be very clear in giving kids the message that AI is a robot that can help you with tasks, but it does not care about you, it does not love you, it does not steward your future, it doesn't have wisdom or discernment or the Holy Spirit. And we're starting to see more research come out which, which is just validating. What we're seeing on the ground is that AI is really sycophantic, it is very seductive and it will tell you what you want to hear even if those things, even if those messages are unhealthy and lead you towards unhealthy behaviors. So now more than ever we really need to be helping our families to stand firm, firm in their identity in Christ, to be strong in the Lord and in his power. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And we know that we live in a tech saturated world that is not going to go away. But really what I'm hoping to do this year is to help families every single day to be able to live set apart and when that's what we're going to talk about today. Because this, this is where I see Christian parents who say, my kids tell me constantly that, you know, I feel like I'm the only one, mom. I feel like I'm the one, I am the only one. And that can be a hard thing to do because we are living in a cultural moment where everyone is trying to stand out. The goal is to be seen, to be discovered, to be known, to be influential, to be successful. This is why kids don't have privacy settings on their social media because it's very normal for them to want to be discovered. From social media to now, career ambitions that are being dramatically reshaped by AI to even parenting, the pressure to differentiate ourselves has never been greater. But at the same time the irony is, ah, is that the pressure is to be set apart, to be the same and to be set Apart for conformity in some way. But what if we really misunderstood what it means to be set apart? Today, we're going to flip that conversation on its head, that idea on its head. Instead of striving for visibility, for influence, for platform, for achievement, we are talking about something deeper, something radically countercultural. We're talking about striving for holiness, not as abstract or unattainable ideal, because when we talk about these concepts, it's like, oh, okay, that's church talk. I'm going to tune out. But we're really going to talk about it in a practical, daily way of living that brings freedom and clarity and purpose. Because here's the truth. Many of us are chasing the fruit of a transformed life. We want to have that fruit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. But we don't ever. We don't want to really look at our roots and where that is. And today's guest is calling us back to our roots.
Tasha Calvert writes about living your whole life for a holy God
I'm delighted to welcome Tasha Calvert. She is a seasoned Bible teacher. She's a women's minister at Prestonwood Church in Dallas, and she's host of a podcast called Digging In. And she is the author of this book that I have right here with me, Set Apart for more, the transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. And Tasha has spent years walking alongside real women, real families, helping them understand what does it mean to live fully surrendered to God, not just in parts of your life, not okay, God, you can have this part of me or this part of my life, but wholly surrendered. And her message is both a challenge and an invitation. Because if you're in Christ, you are already declared holy. And it's time to start acting like you believe that that is true and living like that is true. Tasha, welcome. We are so glad to have you here with us today.
Tasha Calvert : Oh, my goodness. I am delighted to be here and join you. And thank you so much for letting me have this conversation, one that's important.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Tasha, I already hear the optimism in your voice, and that is just like a breath of fresh air. I will take that every day. Living in the trenches of the Doom Scroll. So thank you for that. I would love for you just to introduce yourself to our listeners, tell them a little bit about who you are, how you came to know the Lord, and how you're sitting here with us today of this message burning on your heart to be set apart.
Tasha Calvert : Absolutely. Well, I'll just begin by telling you that as, with almost anything, the Lord allows us to Speak about. He dealt with me personally about this first. So let me kind of go back and tell you that I grew up in a pastor's home, and actually, everybody in really, both sides of my family were in ministry. And so I have loved the Lord since I was little. I, have always done what I thought I was supposed to do to serve God well, really never had a season of rebellion, but I was probably in my late 30s, early 40s, before I really realized, like, okay, I am doing all this stuff, and it is just not producing what I thought it would. I don't have the confidence. I don't have, the peace, all the things like, you know, really, to just to boil it down, it just felt like, hey, this faith thing I've committed my whole life to just doesn't seem to be working for me. And so I had gotten married out of college. I have four daughters, and, we, you know, we've not had horrible things, but just life was hard. And, you know, I wasn't parenting with the confidence. I thought my husband and I had, you know, no major issues, but we are superpowers that we can argue about literally anything. And I just thought, why is. You know, why is it that I'm trying to do this thing, all right, and it's just not working? And, you know, spoiler alert. I was trying to produce holiness. I was doing exactly what you just introduced. I was trying to mimic the outworking of a transformed life. And yet I really, though I had been saved, had not been transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. I was. I was just continuing to. To check boxes and try and mimic things rather than allowing the Lord to just radically transform me. And I'll just tell you, it's way better when you let him do that.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It is, isn't it? I mean, really, that's what I tell, council families all the time. And saying that you. You're choosing two paths. Both of them are difficult. You're choosing two things that are hard, but one leads to life, one leads to recovery, one leads to resilience, one leads to darkness and despair. And honestly, death. It leads. It leads to death. It does. And so you just have to choose where that is. And so it may be hard in the moment, but knowing that you're on that road for progress, you know, thinking about Pilgrim's Progress, that classic book, it's so true. And when we. And I appreciate your. Your transparency, Tasha. I think that there's so many people who can relate to you, and some of it, I think we don't even realize how much the cultural imprint affects us because we are not immune to the effects of social media and feeling like, okay, our job is to make sure everything looks good. And so we really concern ourselves with the outward behaviors and checking the box and it really becomes kind of performative and transactional. But being set apart is, a calling, it is a lifestyle. And before we live differently, we have to think differently. And so when people hear set apart, you know, they think about the things that, like achieving more, standing out or being famous or visible in some way. How did you go about redefining that idea from your own journey that you now have shared in your book?
Tasha Calvert : Well, I think you're exactly right. I mean, I begin the book by admitting that I'm kind of one of those people that's always drawn to stages, to the people that are set apart. Like, we love, we love to look at those people that are, you know, either our favorite influencers or our favorite musicians or even our favorite Bible teachers. And we kind of paint a picture about their life that really we don't, we don't know what that is. And what I realized was that I, especially in the age of social media, so many of us can get traction getting, you know, getting followers. I was able, I'm an, I'm a high achieving person. I work hard, I can usually hit goals. And what I realized was that it just wasn't bringing me what I thought it was going to bring me. You know, I kept trying to set myself apart in ways that I thought, thought would bring deep satisfaction, that I thought would garner respect, that that I thought would make my life better. And you know, and those, sometimes those are just very average goals. Like, I just remember even being like, okay, I'm now married, so here is a new status. Here's something that sets me apart from where I have previously been. And surely this is going to unlock something. And I. All of the things, though there were certainly blessings sometimes just weren't, weren't cutting it. And I began to think like, looking at the Christian landscape, which was really so familiar to me, I was looking at things that we really talk about a lot. Grace and love and mercy and joy and peace and blessing. We're big on, you know, praying blessings over people wanting the blessings. And when I started studying the Bible, I realized there's another really prominent attribute that God possesses and calls us to that I don't hear a whole ton about, that's holiness. And so it kind of just, you know, by the Lord's kindness, he sent me on a deep dive. And what I realized was holiness is really the overarching thing that when we pick up that mantle that God, as you've already pointed out, has bestowed upon us, if we're in Christ, he has called us holy. When we really lean into that and allow our lives to be transformed by a holy God, all the other stuff falls into place. And I don't feel the need to be striving or making the next goal because there is a sufficiency that is found in Christ, in our identity in Christ, that cannot be realized in other spaces that we might try and, realize it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Tasha, we have just scratched the surface here. We have, we're coming up on our first break, and we have a lot more to talk about. And because I think that this, when we really bring this down to the practical level, this is something that we all struggle with. We all want to be set apart. We want our children to be set apart from other children, right? We want our children to be the smartest, the fastest, the most accomplished. You know, the, the, the concert cellist or whatever it is. You know, we think like, oh, we, we chase that achievement. And sometimes, if we're being really honest, Tasha, I think we wrap that in spiritual language to kind of make it seem better. But, you know, I remember one time when I was, you know, working in academics and I had been offered a, position that in the world's eyes, like, it was a no brainer, like, this is a great move, but I did not feel a piece from the world Lord about it. I prayed about it. And I remember the person talking to me saying, this is what you need to do to be set apart as a candidate. And I need you to know that faith is not a professional strategy. And I said, you know, it worked for me just fine as far as I've been, and I'm, going to stick with it. It's a really different kind of mindset, but that reframing is powerful because it takes the pressure off the performance and puts the focus back on identity. And when we come back, we're going to talk about what actually gets in the way of us living this kind of life. All of us say, yeah, we want to be like that. What is getting in our way and what can you do about it? We'll be right back with more from Tasha Calvert.
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Friend in Jesus by CAIN: I, have a shepherd who always keeps me safe and I found a healer Yes, I did who knows my every pain and this is my story of redeeming love. I have come to know him well Oh, I have found a friend in Jesus he is everything to me and I have found a friend in Jesus yes, he is my everything oh, I have found a friend in Jesus he is everything to me I have found a friend in Jesus Yes, he is my everything, oh
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is friend in Jesus. I love that song. That is by Cain. It is such a powerful truth when we are walking through the day. I don't know what you're walking through today, friend, but you may be walking through something that's a, little bit difficult or a lot bit difficult. And wherever you are, I pray that you would find a friend in Jesus and that he would be everything to you. Because he does walk with you and he talks with you and he tells you that you're his own. And we are talking about God calling you to be holy and to be set apart. If holiness is central to the life that we're called to, why do so many of us struggle to live it out? The answer isn't just effort. It's just obstacles that we don't even recognize. And today we're talking with women's minister Tasha Calvert about her book Set Apart for More, the transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. And in the first segment, Tasha introduced herself and told us about her struggle with this. Just knowing that, that she wanted to live A holy life, but feeling like she was pursuing more of the outward indicators of that without looking at the matters of the heart. And Tasha, all of us as Christian women, as Christians, we think, I want to live a holy life. I want to live a life set apart. I want to pursue my relationship with the Lord. But there are things that, in our way, real life gets in the way. This is a tale as old as time.
What do you see as the main barriers that prevent us from living a holy life?
What do you see as the main barriers that we have that prevent us from living a holy life?
Tasha Calvert : I think probably they're twofold, maybe two sides of the same coin, honestly. And that is it itself. And itself in the sense that our flesh is at odds with the spirit that God places in us when we become saved. And so our natural tendency is always towards doing something, taking things into, you know, our own hands. And so I think that's a very real struggle for people. But I think similarly, what we recognize about God is that he is so other than us. And when we understand that God is holy, like, we're all very comfortable singing in church. Holy, holy, holy, you're holy forever. I mean, we really understand, understand that God embodies holiness. And then we look in the mirror. At least I do. Maybe this is just me, but, I don't think so. We look in the mirror and we're like, oh, you couldn't sing that song about me. Nobody needs to be walking around saying holy, holy, holy about Tasha, because we recognize, you know, in our core, we're not, as wonderful, as awe inspiring as, we are not a deity as God is. And so I think it kind of creates this barrier for us to really embrace the holiness of God because it just feels so other from us. But one of the things that the Lord just was very clear with me as I was studying and writing for this book, is that when God himself, who embodies holiness, says and declares something as holy, then it is holy. I mean, you look back in the Old Testament at, I just think of even Joshua before, when, he encounters the angel of the Lord, and he's just standing on dirt outside the walls of Jericho. And the angel of the Lord comes to him, understood to be a theophany, that God is actually appearing in flesh before him. And he says, take off your sandals, you're standing on holy ground. Well, it was just dirt, but the proximity to God and his declaration over it made it holy. And so I think if we can get our mindset that we're not holy because of something, we. We're holy because of Who God is and what he declares over us, that's kind of the first step towards understanding and embracing only life.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I think it's hard to do in a culture like today because it is so performance based. And again, we all know the Sunday school answers, right? We know that, you know, we know about faith and works and we know that we're saved by grace alone. Like we know all of those things. And yet intuitively the way that we train our feet, our hands, our actions, our lives is counter to that kind of subconsciously thinking, okay, well I'm going to perform and be more, appear more holy, look more holy, act more holy, instead of drawing nearer to God who is holy and by that proximity, I mean draw near to God and he will draw near to you. I think about I am the vine and you are the branches. We, we don't, we are just kind of trying to of shine like a star on our own, you know, which is really, those are the kind of messages that we get in culture and the other, I think, challenge that we have, the thing that keeps us separate from God, the thing that keeps difference, distance between us and God is compartmentalizing our faith and saying kind of, you can have, this part of my life, but not this. It's kind of the whole, I don't know if you've seen this slogan on T shirts like the I love Jesus, but I cuss a little, like, okay, God can have this part of my life, but not my mouth. You know, he can't. Like, not this. Like, okay, I'm, I'm gonna just sit and be comfortable with these areas of my sin because hey, look at me over here. I'm killing it on these elements. But that's really not biblically there, is it?
Tasha Calvert : No. And it sabotages us, I think, in every area. And, and listen, I would not cast stones because I too have had that very idea that, you know, I, I' hitting the marks here now my heart, you know, may not be in the right place. And I might have some thoughts that I'd be humiliated if anybody actually knew. But the stuff you can see, well, it's doing pretty good. And that, that really is just not a correct understanding of, of holiness. And you know, we kind of know this. I think we do have a framework for it in the sense that would any of us want to serve a God who we sing about being holy if that were his character? I mean, you know, that wouldn't be somebody worthy of praise. And so why we settle for that compartmentalization as you so eloquently put it in our lives as believers, is, it's very telling on us. I think there is sometimes a resistance that we have to really fully surrendering because. Because we know really what's in our heart, and we know that it's. It's going to have to be dealt with, and that's intimidating. But, oh, my goodness, as somebody who has had to walk through those seasons of refining fire, there is nothing like what it produces on the other side. And, and to your original point, like, it's hard either way. I'll just tell you this. Hard. Way more fruitful.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, that's a good way to put it. It is way more fruitful. And, you know, that fruit is. Is witnessed by our families. And I think when we have that disconnect, when we, you know, compartmentalize our life, like, this part of my life belongs to God, but this part I'm gonna hold on to. You know, I'm not really ready to give that up. Our kids see that, and I think that they perceive it as a lack of authenticity, and they perceive it and they say, like, okay, well, how strong do you really feel about it? Because it's not transforming your life. And that. That can be a really tough. Because I. I'm. I'm with you on the struggle bus. I'm also a mom of four. And listen, my kids will call me out when they see those discrepancies, and I'm grateful that they do. But this is something that impacts our. Our real life areas. And you talk about those real life areas because we don't often think. We think of holiness. We think about, okay, when we're sitting in church, perhaps, you know, partaking in the Lord's supper, and that is our holy moment. But there's holiness in marriage and money and managing our health, in our workplaces and our parenting journey. How. How do we connect holiness to everyday life? How do we make this practical, Tasha, something that we can grab with both hands and understand?
Tasha Calvert : Yeah, no, that's a great question. And that really is what I've tried to do within the book, because you're exactly. I mean, it really begins with an understanding that we have to tear down those preconceived notions that we have of sacred and secular, because there's really no such thing for the believer. Everything that God has allowed to be sifted through his sovereign hands and spill into our lives is to be handled with him, with holiness in mind. And so there's kind of a framework that I use within the book that I think is very helpful to just break it down on some practical levels. And it's ah, a four part framework. And it it goes like this. Holiness is a sacred otherness that originates from God. So, so I think the first very practical way we have to understand is there is no holiness apart from God. So if there are some listeners out there and you have not yet been transformed by the saving power of Christ and you have not made Him Lord of your life, then you're off the hook on this. There is absolutely no expectation that you would produce holiness because it's just not possible. So always begins with God, connection with him, relationship with him, proximity to him, and then it is extended. The second part is, it's extended to us through His Spirit. And this is really good news too because again, the onus is not on us. We can all like breathe a collective sigh of relief and say, okay, this is going to be something the Holy Spirit gives to us and not something we earn or do or even maintain. But then here's the cool part. and it's kind of what you're talking about, the part book that you're talking about. The third part is it manifests in our character.
Character is what comes out of us when we're squeezed
And so character is really where we spend a lot of the book talking about. And character was intentionally, I intentionally chose that word because it really does involve all of it. To your point, when your kids see behind the curtain and they kind of get your commentary that you wouldn't maybe say in front of everybody else, and they see how you're spending your time and your money and the words that come out of your mouth when you think nobody's listening. Character is one of those things that, that will be true outwardly and inwardly. It will be observed no matter what room you're in, no matter what person you're around. it's kind of what comes out of us when we're squeezed. And you've probably, if you're a parent of four, you have lived long enough to know that, that when you get squeezed there's no telling. Like you can get squeezed financially, you can get squeezed because of health problems like that. That is going to be your lived experience, that in every area there's sometimes going to be some tension or some challenges. And so we want every single area of our life to be touched and sanctified and surrendered to the Lord so that when those times come, what comes out of us is is the fruit of holiness. And then, and then the last part is that it's strengthened in Christian community. So you and I, what this conversation we're having right now, we are, we are strengthening one another. We are being iron, sharpening iron to one another. It is good and right and holy for us to be talking about the things of God and setting and orienting ourselves towards Him.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, that's one of the things that, that concerns me. Tasha. A trend that I see is this kind of going solo on your faith. We see a trend since COVID you know, we've seen a trend away from church attendance. We see more people engaging with faith content online. But it's just kind of that, that you know, one way dyad like, like that, that they're just receiving information but not walking in community. And I think about, you know, the verse that you just said, when iron sharpens iron. I mean sometimes there's sparks when that happens and there may be disagreement and there may be, be some, some pain there, honestly, as you are walking in, and community with other people. But I need people to call me out. I need women in my life who are going to say, you know, the words that are coming out of your mouth are pretty bitter, that's pretty harsh, like maybe check your heart. And sometimes that can be so hard to do. But that's one of the greatest joys I think of. Ah, the verse. I have no greater joy than knowing my children are walking in the truth. One of the greatest joys I have now is that my adult children are taking that role and we're having that, that conversation. And that is where legacy is made. That that is what they're going to think about when you pass away is how did you handle challenges that came in your life? How was your character and did your character match in person, in private, what it was in public? How have you, as you've been on this journey thinking about being set apart and you know, your role as a mom and I think now a grandmother. Is that right? Right?
Tasha Calvert : Yes.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah. How is that?
Tasha Calvert : I.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's so I've heard. So I've heard.
Tasha Calvert : Yeah.
Dr. Jessica Peck: How is that shaped you in thinking about holiness and having a legacy of holiness?
Tasha Calvert : Yeah, well, I do think there's just a practical nature to the older you get, you, you do feel the weightiness, I think probably even non Christians do, of like, what am I leaving behind? But I think especially for the Christian, for the believer, there's just this desire for me to tell, especially my grandchildren now because they're just so young and formidable, that there's a better way, like how much time I wasted swimming in the shallow end of the pool when there was such rich depth and mercy and grace, that I could have been experiencing in relationship, deeper relationship with the Lord. Like that. That is very motivating. But I would say, just even practically, I have a practice of reading my Bible and, in journaling through what God's telling me. And sometimes when my flesh and listen, it's still in there. Obviously we're. This can be something that I struggle against for the whole rest of my life because, because we have just not fully been transformed yet. But I will take my journal out and I will say, okay, Lord, here is what I am feeling. Please let these words and feelings remain on this page with you. Don't let me say them out. Don't let me act on them. Like, would you please, you know, transform me? Would you change my heart? Would you shut my mouth so that I don't go down this road that I know in my flesh?
Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm prone to travel, prone to wander, Lord, I feel it Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. We'll be talking about this more on the other side of the break at some more practical strategies for holiness in your everyday life. We'll have more with Tasha Calvert on, set apart when we get come back.
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The Goodness by TobyMac featuring Blessing Offor: no doubt about you? Everywhere that I go you keep showing up for you make me wanna shout it? Oh, you're the goodness in my life? And I'm gonna tell you my truth? They may come, they may go? You keep showing up so you do? Ain't no doubt about it you are the goodness in my life.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is the Goodness by TobyMac featuring Blessing Offor. And today I'm telling you as listeners of American family radio, you are the goodness in our lives. We're so grateful for you listening in. And today we're having a really good conversation about what it means to be Set apart heart. These are things that are difficult to talk about. But holiness is not just a theological concept that is meant for some stuffy corner of some seminary or just in the sanctuary on Sunday morning. This is a daily practice, and when we live it out, it changes everything. Our homes, our relationships, and even how we handle conflict. I'm talking to women's minister from Prestonwood, Tasha Calvert. She's written a book called Set Apart for More. The transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. And Tasha, again, I think, you know, as a. I was a women's minister, I think that there are probably not. I. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there probably have not been many women who have wanted to have an appointment with you and walk into your office and they want to share a struggle with you. And the first thing out of their mouth is, well, you know, I'm just having a hard time pursuing holiness. Like, I just don't think that's probably how it goes.
Tasha Calvert : Zero women
Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay. I mean, I think they're probably saying, I'm having trouble in my marriage, I'm having trouble with my kids, I'm having financial struggles. You know, my husband left. Like, we have to move. I'm a military family. Like, I can imagine a bunch of other things, but not, like, how can I strive to be more holy? Like, I just, how do we get past that? And I think that's. That's a really big task. Take us on that journey and, and help us understand some more about how this is the everyday practice and how it impacts, impacts those things that women are asking you about, about their families, right?
Tasha Calvert : Absolutely. No. And you've really hit the nail on the head because at, at its core, most of the time, when somebody does make an appointment, and really, this is us too. I mean, you know, at the end of the day, my biggest questions are usually like, how do I get from point A to point point B where I think I need to be? How. What does, what does God want me to do? Like, we want the checklist. We, we want to just. Then we can take it back into our control and do the right things. and that's really hard. It's hard to achieve holiness with that mindset. in many ways, as much as we dog on legalism, in many ways, a lot of our questions are kind of designed to say, can you just give me the formula? Like, what is the five steps? And we kind of want that. The way I like to think about it is just very Practical. In fact, as a pediatric nurse, you might relate to this. I have had four daughters. And, we grew our family biologically, so we. So I gave birth to every single one of them. And at every, birth, when it was time to give birth to my daughters, I would go to the hospital and I would introduce myself to the nurse, and I would say, okay, I am going to cooperate with everything you tell me to do. you know, there is. There's kind of a plan, but every birth story is different. So if you tell me to shift this way, I'll shift. If you tell me to breathe now, I'll breathe. If you tell me to, you know, hold my breath a little bit longer or breathe out, like, whatever it is, I'm going to cooperate to the best of my ability with what you tell me to do. But at the end of the day, it's your job to get this baby out. And that was really how I. How I thought about it. Like, there was. There was kind of this understanding that, like, you know, I don't. I, don't know what I'm doing here. So I'm just going to listen to you and walk with you through this process and let be the one that does it. And really, that has become. My posture towards holiness is, Lord, you have given us some very practical things in your word. And, to the best of my ability, I won't do it perfectly. But to the best of my ability, I'm going to cooperate with you. But at the end of the day, you're going to have to produce this in me. It won't be because of the steps I took. It will be because. Because of, the posture in which I put myself for you to work in me. And so, practically speaking, like, when we look at what it looks like to cooperate with the Holy Spirit, first of all, it's acknowledging that he's there. I think, we're prone to be people that go through chunks of our week and maybe even months, and we don't even really cognitively recognize that, hey, there is a Holy Spirit that has gone every single place with you. How many times have you employed his help, asked him what he would want you to do? So even just acknowledging, again, orienting ourselves towards the Lord, but then just recognizing there are some. There are some foundational things that God calls us to, and two of the biggest foundations, I call them building blocks of holiness, just getting practical, are God's word and God's people. And so if you want to know, like, getting off, just if you don't ever even read the book and this is the only conversation that you hear about how to pursue holiness. I would say here's two good places to start. Open your Bible, ask God to illuminate His Word and speak to you directly. He will do that and make a consistent practice of reading His Word. Don't just do it today and expect holiness to come tomorrow. Make, you know, keep a rhythm is how I tell my women at Prestonwood. Keep a rhythm in God's Word and then two. Surround yourself with God's people. Now, I will tell you that the context we most see that especially in the NewSong Testament, is going to be the church you need to. This isn't legalism. This is just honestly, wisdom. We need to be plugged into the body of a church. And by plugged in, that doesn't mean that we go every Sunday, slip into the back row. It means we need to have, to your earlier point, friendships, relationships. We need to have people speaking into our lives and our decisions, decisions. And, allow God's. You know, he calls us a family, the family of God. He describes those of us who are in Christ as a body and a body works together, all of us with different parts. And so we need to not only recognize that that is essential for our formation, but that we are essential for the formation and the health and wellness of the church as a whole because God has given us his spirit and his gift for others as well.
Every Friday we talk about what is going to make your family more holistically healthy
Dr. Jessica Peck: Tasha, I'm so encouraged by what you're saying because I think that's maybe why we can't articulate like, okay, I want to be more holy. But the encouraging thing is that God has given us everyday common graces that we can, pursue. And that's what I talk about every Friday. We are on a journey for healthy habits. So join in on Friday if you're listening. Every Friday we talk about what is going to make your family more holistically healthy. And we start with basic spiritual discipline. That's encouraging to me, Tasha, in a world that's constantly chaotic, that's constantly changing, where cultural strategies are changing, the spiritual strategy has stayed the same. It's read the Word of God, fellowship with God's people in a church, pray and ask God to help you with, in. When you're doing those things intentionally, it. That distance between you and God is less and less. And then the Holy Spirit, his voice becomes louder and louder. And, it's very difficult to walk, walk in sin when you are pursuing the presence of God because the Holy Spirit's conviction becomes so strong. And you know, Tasha, I look at culture and I always view it like a pendulum. It's always a pendulum swinging, you know, from one extreme to another. And when we look at kind of this, this way that we pursue holiness, you know, we can see there was like an era in modern American life m. You know, mid century that was, was that kind of rebelled against that, like, and was like, okay, yeah, we want to have freedom and to do what we want. And, and then we had this swing back. You know, there was like the 50s, it was really strict. And then the 60s and 70s it was really lax. And then the 80s we had, you know, the rise of. No, we've got to. To be against that. It's always a pendulum in culture, but God's word stays the same. How do we maintain that balance of yes, we want our families to be holy, to be set apart, to be called, to pursue God, but we also don't want it to be like. Or else, you know, like that, that it's that rigid. We heard the phrase rules without relationship rebellion. How do we maintain, how do we balance, the law and grace in that pursuit of holiness?
Tasha Calvert : Yeah, yeah. Well, I think the, the thing that we don't ever build into the equation is that we look sometimes at what, what we feel like God is calling us to do and we think, okay, well that's, you know, that's maybe a little extreme or what are people going to think? And I think when we really understand that we. When, when the Holy Spirit is leading in your life, first of all, that tension is, is going to dissolve a little bit because it's not going to feel like legalism. It's going to feel like freedom. That's really God's economy. And it won't make sense to a lot of people because we're so conditioned to, to think of actions and results and and being able to crack the code or life hacks. I mean, how many times do you. And so to actually keep a discipline, that may look on the outside legalistic, but that really is life giving and freedom giving. That is going to stand out to a watching world. and it's going to feel less like. And it's not legalism, like when I talk about having a rhythm in God's word, one of the things that I always say is this is not like I would never encourage somebody, you know, to do it at the set. Like you have to get up every morning and do it at this time and it has to be in this Translation and this long we're talking about what season of life are you in? And there's different seasons. That's very biblical. And how can you stay connected to the Lord? And the thing is, legalism will be what if you approach holiness with a legalistic mindset, it will crush you just like it did the Israelites in the Old Testament. You know, they were trying and trying and trying and they can't, they can't do it. They are, we are sinful creatures. But when you understand and pursue God for who he is and wanting to know him better, the funny thing is that he draws you into relationship. It won't feel like something you have to do. It will feel like something that is that is so beneficial and so buoying, almost like just, just helps you so much that you won't, you won't be having to set your alarm and drag yourself to God's Word every day. You will be looking forward to it because it will become living water to you. You know, there's a reason, right, why Scripture uses these types of analogies because in relationship with him that is, is what happens. You, you are drinking living water that is nourishing your soul and giving you life. You know, one of the things I, I tell women a lot is that when we don't take God seriously when he tells us to know him and to listen to him, listen for his voice and you know, the Bible is the primary way he speaks to us. If the only time we go to the Bible is when we have a question or we have a need or we have gotten ourselves into a bind and we an answer, we are always behind. We are now having to play catch up and clean up. When we keep a regular rhythm in God's Word, not legalistically, but again because we love him and we want to be in fellowship and communication with Him. He knows what's going to happen. I mean, you know, Jessica, you and I don't know what's going to happen at 3 o' clock when this is over.
Dr. Jessica Peck: No, we don't.
Tasha Calvert : There could be major changes coming our way this afternoon. God knows that. And when we have, ah, a regular rhythm with him and a relationship with him, he prepares us through his word, through his presence, through his people, for what is to come. And I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't know somebody who wouldn't want that. If you could, if you could have a heads up and if you, if you knew what was ahead and could actually get prepared for that and have somebody that was going to walk you through that fire or that joy, whatever it is that's to come, who wouldn't sign up for that. And that's what really the pursuit of holiness is. It is a walk with the Lord that is so precious, that changes you and, gives you the confidence to navigate a world that is very hard. I mean, I think that at least we could all agree on.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, I think back to my, teenage years and my early adult years, and I did have a very legalistic version of God. I had a very legalistic view of my faith. And I remember reading, one day a verse in psalm, Psalm, 37, 4. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. And so I thought, oh, here it is. Okay, I will delight myself in the Lord. I will go to church. I will pray. I. I will do all the right things. I will be the Christianiest Christian that ever walked the face of the planet. And then God's going to give me these things that I want. And the biggest plot twist of my life, Tasha, was as I started to do those things, the Lord totally changed my heart. Those things that I thought I couldn't live without, I couldn't live with, you know, and that is, the beautiful part about that. And so to those who are listening, if you are feeling the pressure to keep up, to stand out, to make yourself special, measure up in whatever way. This conversation, I hope, has been an invitation to you, to something better. As Tasha said, something more freeing. You don't have to strive to become set apart. If you're in Christ, you already are. And so the question is, are you going to live like it? Thank you, Tasha, for joining us today. Her new book, set Apart for more, is available now. The transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. This would be a great investment in your family and your legacy. And we encourage you. Don't just listen to the show. Live it out right where you are. And I pray that wherever you are, whatever you are facing, that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. And I will see you right back here tomorrow.
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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast. May not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
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: and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend some time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. And listen, I have a really big hope today. I have a hope that I'm going to take down my Christmas tree. This is the longest I've ever had it up. I'm so, I am just, you know, wearing that mantra of defeat here. But it has been a crazy time in my life and my home and my family. I hope things are going smoothly for you. Tomorrow is April, and we are just moving, on towards spring. It is Easter week, and I do want to encourage you to invite a friend to church or to plan to go to church yourself. Church is good for the soul, and so go to church. That would be, be a really good thing to do. As I'm looking at the news, you know, I just continue to see an evolution in the news cycle. And you'll hear me talking a lot in the next few weeks, the next few months about AI I am learning as fast as I can. It feels like drinking from a fire hydrant. But AI is here. It's not coming. It is already here, and our kids are adapting to it so much more quickly than we are. And I am going to repeat my concern about how it is impacting worldview. And on Fridays, when I, talk about the healthy habit, I'm also doing a segment called Homefront Headlines where I'm talking about some of the headlines that I'm seeing and just giving you some of the news, but not in a way that's scary, not in a way that's going to make you want to scroll more, because this show does come to an end after our set time here. But it's really to know what's happening, why it matters for your family, and how you should respond to it. And some of the things I'm seeing are even, like, some research that came out today that almost 80, 80% of adults will do what AI or chat or whatever AI platform they're using. They will do what it tells them to do even if they know it's wrong. It is. We see that people are trusting AI more than pastors. I mean this is already happening. It is actively shaping worldview. And now more than ever, kids need us as real humans to engage. And not only kids and, but adults everywhere, those caring people in your life. We need real engagement with real humans. That is something that AI cannot replicate. It mimics human emotions, but it is not human. And we need to be very clear in giving kids the message that AI is a robot that can help you with tasks, but it does not care about you, it does not love you, it does not steward your future, it doesn't have wisdom or discernment or the Holy Spirit. And we're starting to see more research come out which, which is just validating. What we're seeing on the ground is that AI is really sycophantic, it is very seductive and it will tell you what you want to hear even if those things, even if those messages are unhealthy and lead you towards unhealthy behaviors. So now more than ever we really need to be helping our families to stand firm, firm in their identity in Christ, to be strong in the Lord and in his power. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And we know that we live in a tech saturated world that is not going to go away. But really what I'm hoping to do this year is to help families every single day to be able to live set apart and when that's what we're going to talk about today. Because this, this is where I see Christian parents who say, my kids tell me constantly that, you know, I feel like I'm the only one, mom. I feel like I'm the one, I am the only one. And that can be a hard thing to do because we are living in a cultural moment where everyone is trying to stand out. The goal is to be seen, to be discovered, to be known, to be influential, to be successful. This is why kids don't have privacy settings on their social media because it's very normal for them to want to be discovered. From social media to now, career ambitions that are being dramatically reshaped by AI to even parenting, the pressure to differentiate ourselves has never been greater. But at the same time the irony is, ah, is that the pressure is to be set apart, to be the same and to be set Apart for conformity in some way. But what if we really misunderstood what it means to be set apart? Today, we're going to flip that conversation on its head, that idea on its head. Instead of striving for visibility, for influence, for platform, for achievement, we are talking about something deeper, something radically countercultural. We're talking about striving for holiness, not as abstract or unattainable ideal, because when we talk about these concepts, it's like, oh, okay, that's church talk. I'm going to tune out. But we're really going to talk about it in a practical, daily way of living that brings freedom and clarity and purpose. Because here's the truth. Many of us are chasing the fruit of a transformed life. We want to have that fruit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. But we don't ever. We don't want to really look at our roots and where that is. And today's guest is calling us back to our roots.
Tasha Calvert writes about living your whole life for a holy God
I'm delighted to welcome Tasha Calvert. She is a seasoned Bible teacher. She's a women's minister at Prestonwood Church in Dallas, and she's host of a podcast called Digging In. And she is the author of this book that I have right here with me, Set Apart for more, the transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. And Tasha has spent years walking alongside real women, real families, helping them understand what does it mean to live fully surrendered to God, not just in parts of your life, not okay, God, you can have this part of me or this part of my life, but wholly surrendered. And her message is both a challenge and an invitation. Because if you're in Christ, you are already declared holy. And it's time to start acting like you believe that that is true and living like that is true. Tasha, welcome. We are so glad to have you here with us today.
Tasha Calvert : Oh, my goodness. I am delighted to be here and join you. And thank you so much for letting me have this conversation, one that's important.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Tasha, I already hear the optimism in your voice, and that is just like a breath of fresh air. I will take that every day. Living in the trenches of the Doom Scroll. So thank you for that. I would love for you just to introduce yourself to our listeners, tell them a little bit about who you are, how you came to know the Lord, and how you're sitting here with us today of this message burning on your heart to be set apart.
Tasha Calvert : Absolutely. Well, I'll just begin by telling you that as, with almost anything, the Lord allows us to Speak about. He dealt with me personally about this first. So let me kind of go back and tell you that I grew up in a pastor's home, and actually, everybody in really, both sides of my family were in ministry. And so I have loved the Lord since I was little. I, have always done what I thought I was supposed to do to serve God well, really never had a season of rebellion, but I was probably in my late 30s, early 40s, before I really realized, like, okay, I am doing all this stuff, and it is just not producing what I thought it would. I don't have the confidence. I don't have, the peace, all the things like, you know, really, to just to boil it down, it just felt like, hey, this faith thing I've committed my whole life to just doesn't seem to be working for me. And so I had gotten married out of college. I have four daughters, and, we, you know, we've not had horrible things, but just life was hard. And, you know, I wasn't parenting with the confidence. I thought my husband and I had, you know, no major issues, but we are superpowers that we can argue about literally anything. And I just thought, why is. You know, why is it that I'm trying to do this thing, all right, and it's just not working? And, you know, spoiler alert. I was trying to produce holiness. I was doing exactly what you just introduced. I was trying to mimic the outworking of a transformed life. And yet I really, though I had been saved, had not been transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. I was. I was just continuing to. To check boxes and try and mimic things rather than allowing the Lord to just radically transform me. And I'll just tell you, it's way better when you let him do that.
Dr. Jessica Peck: It is, isn't it? I mean, really, that's what I tell, council families all the time. And saying that you. You're choosing two paths. Both of them are difficult. You're choosing two things that are hard, but one leads to life, one leads to recovery, one leads to resilience, one leads to darkness and despair. And honestly, death. It leads. It leads to death. It does. And so you just have to choose where that is. And so it may be hard in the moment, but knowing that you're on that road for progress, you know, thinking about Pilgrim's Progress, that classic book, it's so true. And when we. And I appreciate your. Your transparency, Tasha. I think that there's so many people who can relate to you, and some of it, I think we don't even realize how much the cultural imprint affects us because we are not immune to the effects of social media and feeling like, okay, our job is to make sure everything looks good. And so we really concern ourselves with the outward behaviors and checking the box and it really becomes kind of performative and transactional. But being set apart is, a calling, it is a lifestyle. And before we live differently, we have to think differently. And so when people hear set apart, you know, they think about the things that, like achieving more, standing out or being famous or visible in some way. How did you go about redefining that idea from your own journey that you now have shared in your book?
Tasha Calvert : Well, I think you're exactly right. I mean, I begin the book by admitting that I'm kind of one of those people that's always drawn to stages, to the people that are set apart. Like, we love, we love to look at those people that are, you know, either our favorite influencers or our favorite musicians or even our favorite Bible teachers. And we kind of paint a picture about their life that really we don't, we don't know what that is. And what I realized was that I, especially in the age of social media, so many of us can get traction getting, you know, getting followers. I was able, I'm an, I'm a high achieving person. I work hard, I can usually hit goals. And what I realized was that it just wasn't bringing me what I thought it was going to bring me. You know, I kept trying to set myself apart in ways that I thought, thought would bring deep satisfaction, that I thought would garner respect, that that I thought would make my life better. And you know, and those, sometimes those are just very average goals. Like, I just remember even being like, okay, I'm now married, so here is a new status. Here's something that sets me apart from where I have previously been. And surely this is going to unlock something. And I. All of the things, though there were certainly blessings sometimes just weren't, weren't cutting it. And I began to think like, looking at the Christian landscape, which was really so familiar to me, I was looking at things that we really talk about a lot. Grace and love and mercy and joy and peace and blessing. We're big on, you know, praying blessings over people wanting the blessings. And when I started studying the Bible, I realized there's another really prominent attribute that God possesses and calls us to that I don't hear a whole ton about, that's holiness. And so it kind of just, you know, by the Lord's kindness, he sent me on a deep dive. And what I realized was holiness is really the overarching thing that when we pick up that mantle that God, as you've already pointed out, has bestowed upon us, if we're in Christ, he has called us holy. When we really lean into that and allow our lives to be transformed by a holy God, all the other stuff falls into place. And I don't feel the need to be striving or making the next goal because there is a sufficiency that is found in Christ, in our identity in Christ, that cannot be realized in other spaces that we might try and, realize it.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Tasha, we have just scratched the surface here. We have, we're coming up on our first break, and we have a lot more to talk about. And because I think that this, when we really bring this down to the practical level, this is something that we all struggle with. We all want to be set apart. We want our children to be set apart from other children, right? We want our children to be the smartest, the fastest, the most accomplished. You know, the, the, the concert cellist or whatever it is. You know, we think like, oh, we, we chase that achievement. And sometimes, if we're being really honest, Tasha, I think we wrap that in spiritual language to kind of make it seem better. But, you know, I remember one time when I was, you know, working in academics and I had been offered a, position that in the world's eyes, like, it was a no brainer, like, this is a great move, but I did not feel a piece from the world Lord about it. I prayed about it. And I remember the person talking to me saying, this is what you need to do to be set apart as a candidate. And I need you to know that faith is not a professional strategy. And I said, you know, it worked for me just fine as far as I've been, and I'm, going to stick with it. It's a really different kind of mindset, but that reframing is powerful because it takes the pressure off the performance and puts the focus back on identity. And when we come back, we're going to talk about what actually gets in the way of us living this kind of life. All of us say, yeah, we want to be like that. What is getting in our way and what can you do about it? We'll be right back with more from Tasha Calvert.
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Friend in Jesus by CAIN: I, have a shepherd who always keeps me safe and I found a healer Yes, I did who knows my every pain and this is my story of redeeming love. I have come to know him well Oh, I have found a friend in Jesus he is everything to me and I have found a friend in Jesus yes, he is my everything oh, I have found a friend in Jesus he is everything to me I have found a friend in Jesus Yes, he is my everything, oh
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is friend in Jesus. I love that song. That is by Cain. It is such a powerful truth when we are walking through the day. I don't know what you're walking through today, friend, but you may be walking through something that's a, little bit difficult or a lot bit difficult. And wherever you are, I pray that you would find a friend in Jesus and that he would be everything to you. Because he does walk with you and he talks with you and he tells you that you're his own. And we are talking about God calling you to be holy and to be set apart. If holiness is central to the life that we're called to, why do so many of us struggle to live it out? The answer isn't just effort. It's just obstacles that we don't even recognize. And today we're talking with women's minister Tasha Calvert about her book Set Apart for More, the transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. And in the first segment, Tasha introduced herself and told us about her struggle with this. Just knowing that, that she wanted to live A holy life, but feeling like she was pursuing more of the outward indicators of that without looking at the matters of the heart. And Tasha, all of us as Christian women, as Christians, we think, I want to live a holy life. I want to live a life set apart. I want to pursue my relationship with the Lord. But there are things that, in our way, real life gets in the way. This is a tale as old as time.
What do you see as the main barriers that prevent us from living a holy life?
What do you see as the main barriers that we have that prevent us from living a holy life?
Tasha Calvert : I think probably they're twofold, maybe two sides of the same coin, honestly. And that is it itself. And itself in the sense that our flesh is at odds with the spirit that God places in us when we become saved. And so our natural tendency is always towards doing something, taking things into, you know, our own hands. And so I think that's a very real struggle for people. But I think similarly, what we recognize about God is that he is so other than us. And when we understand that God is holy, like, we're all very comfortable singing in church. Holy, holy, holy, you're holy forever. I mean, we really understand, understand that God embodies holiness. And then we look in the mirror. At least I do. Maybe this is just me, but, I don't think so. We look in the mirror and we're like, oh, you couldn't sing that song about me. Nobody needs to be walking around saying holy, holy, holy about Tasha, because we recognize, you know, in our core, we're not, as wonderful, as awe inspiring as, we are not a deity as God is. And so I think it kind of creates this barrier for us to really embrace the holiness of God because it just feels so other from us. But one of the things that the Lord just was very clear with me as I was studying and writing for this book, is that when God himself, who embodies holiness, says and declares something as holy, then it is holy. I mean, you look back in the Old Testament at, I just think of even Joshua before, when, he encounters the angel of the Lord, and he's just standing on dirt outside the walls of Jericho. And the angel of the Lord comes to him, understood to be a theophany, that God is actually appearing in flesh before him. And he says, take off your sandals, you're standing on holy ground. Well, it was just dirt, but the proximity to God and his declaration over it made it holy. And so I think if we can get our mindset that we're not holy because of something, we. We're holy because of Who God is and what he declares over us, that's kind of the first step towards understanding and embracing only life.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I think it's hard to do in a culture like today because it is so performance based. And again, we all know the Sunday school answers, right? We know that, you know, we know about faith and works and we know that we're saved by grace alone. Like we know all of those things. And yet intuitively the way that we train our feet, our hands, our actions, our lives is counter to that kind of subconsciously thinking, okay, well I'm going to perform and be more, appear more holy, look more holy, act more holy, instead of drawing nearer to God who is holy and by that proximity, I mean draw near to God and he will draw near to you. I think about I am the vine and you are the branches. We, we don't, we are just kind of trying to of shine like a star on our own, you know, which is really, those are the kind of messages that we get in culture and the other, I think, challenge that we have, the thing that keeps us separate from God, the thing that keeps difference, distance between us and God is compartmentalizing our faith and saying kind of, you can have, this part of my life, but not this. It's kind of the whole, I don't know if you've seen this slogan on T shirts like the I love Jesus, but I cuss a little, like, okay, God can have this part of my life, but not my mouth. You know, he can't. Like, not this. Like, okay, I'm, I'm gonna just sit and be comfortable with these areas of my sin because hey, look at me over here. I'm killing it on these elements. But that's really not biblically there, is it?
Tasha Calvert : No. And it sabotages us, I think, in every area. And, and listen, I would not cast stones because I too have had that very idea that, you know, I, I' hitting the marks here now my heart, you know, may not be in the right place. And I might have some thoughts that I'd be humiliated if anybody actually knew. But the stuff you can see, well, it's doing pretty good. And that, that really is just not a correct understanding of, of holiness. And you know, we kind of know this. I think we do have a framework for it in the sense that would any of us want to serve a God who we sing about being holy if that were his character? I mean, you know, that wouldn't be somebody worthy of praise. And so why we settle for that compartmentalization as you so eloquently put it in our lives as believers, is, it's very telling on us. I think there is sometimes a resistance that we have to really fully surrendering because. Because we know really what's in our heart, and we know that it's. It's going to have to be dealt with, and that's intimidating. But, oh, my goodness, as somebody who has had to walk through those seasons of refining fire, there is nothing like what it produces on the other side. And, and to your original point, like, it's hard either way. I'll just tell you this. Hard. Way more fruitful.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, that's a good way to put it. It is way more fruitful. And, you know, that fruit is. Is witnessed by our families. And I think when we have that disconnect, when we, you know, compartmentalize our life, like, this part of my life belongs to God, but this part I'm gonna hold on to. You know, I'm not really ready to give that up. Our kids see that, and I think that they perceive it as a lack of authenticity, and they perceive it and they say, like, okay, well, how strong do you really feel about it? Because it's not transforming your life. And that. That can be a really tough. Because I. I'm. I'm with you on the struggle bus. I'm also a mom of four. And listen, my kids will call me out when they see those discrepancies, and I'm grateful that they do. But this is something that impacts our. Our real life areas. And you talk about those real life areas because we don't often think. We think of holiness. We think about, okay, when we're sitting in church, perhaps, you know, partaking in the Lord's supper, and that is our holy moment. But there's holiness in marriage and money and managing our health, in our workplaces and our parenting journey. How. How do we connect holiness to everyday life? How do we make this practical, Tasha, something that we can grab with both hands and understand?
Tasha Calvert : Yeah, no, that's a great question. And that really is what I've tried to do within the book, because you're exactly. I mean, it really begins with an understanding that we have to tear down those preconceived notions that we have of sacred and secular, because there's really no such thing for the believer. Everything that God has allowed to be sifted through his sovereign hands and spill into our lives is to be handled with him, with holiness in mind. And so there's kind of a framework that I use within the book that I think is very helpful to just break it down on some practical levels. And it's ah, a four part framework. And it it goes like this. Holiness is a sacred otherness that originates from God. So, so I think the first very practical way we have to understand is there is no holiness apart from God. So if there are some listeners out there and you have not yet been transformed by the saving power of Christ and you have not made Him Lord of your life, then you're off the hook on this. There is absolutely no expectation that you would produce holiness because it's just not possible. So always begins with God, connection with him, relationship with him, proximity to him, and then it is extended. The second part is, it's extended to us through His Spirit. And this is really good news too because again, the onus is not on us. We can all like breathe a collective sigh of relief and say, okay, this is going to be something the Holy Spirit gives to us and not something we earn or do or even maintain. But then here's the cool part. and it's kind of what you're talking about, the part book that you're talking about. The third part is it manifests in our character.
Character is what comes out of us when we're squeezed
And so character is really where we spend a lot of the book talking about. And character was intentionally, I intentionally chose that word because it really does involve all of it. To your point, when your kids see behind the curtain and they kind of get your commentary that you wouldn't maybe say in front of everybody else, and they see how you're spending your time and your money and the words that come out of your mouth when you think nobody's listening. Character is one of those things that, that will be true outwardly and inwardly. It will be observed no matter what room you're in, no matter what person you're around. it's kind of what comes out of us when we're squeezed. And you've probably, if you're a parent of four, you have lived long enough to know that, that when you get squeezed there's no telling. Like you can get squeezed financially, you can get squeezed because of health problems like that. That is going to be your lived experience, that in every area there's sometimes going to be some tension or some challenges. And so we want every single area of our life to be touched and sanctified and surrendered to the Lord so that when those times come, what comes out of us is is the fruit of holiness. And then, and then the last part is that it's strengthened in Christian community. So you and I, what this conversation we're having right now, we are, we are strengthening one another. We are being iron, sharpening iron to one another. It is good and right and holy for us to be talking about the things of God and setting and orienting ourselves towards Him.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, that's one of the things that, that concerns me. Tasha. A trend that I see is this kind of going solo on your faith. We see a trend since COVID you know, we've seen a trend away from church attendance. We see more people engaging with faith content online. But it's just kind of that, that you know, one way dyad like, like that, that they're just receiving information but not walking in community. And I think about, you know, the verse that you just said, when iron sharpens iron. I mean sometimes there's sparks when that happens and there may be disagreement and there may be, be some, some pain there, honestly, as you are walking in, and community with other people. But I need people to call me out. I need women in my life who are going to say, you know, the words that are coming out of your mouth are pretty bitter, that's pretty harsh, like maybe check your heart. And sometimes that can be so hard to do. But that's one of the greatest joys I think of. Ah, the verse. I have no greater joy than knowing my children are walking in the truth. One of the greatest joys I have now is that my adult children are taking that role and we're having that, that conversation. And that is where legacy is made. That that is what they're going to think about when you pass away is how did you handle challenges that came in your life? How was your character and did your character match in person, in private, what it was in public? How have you, as you've been on this journey thinking about being set apart and you know, your role as a mom and I think now a grandmother. Is that right? Right?
Tasha Calvert : Yes.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah. How is that?
Tasha Calvert : I.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That's so I've heard. So I've heard.
Tasha Calvert : Yeah.
Dr. Jessica Peck: How is that shaped you in thinking about holiness and having a legacy of holiness?
Tasha Calvert : Yeah, well, I do think there's just a practical nature to the older you get, you, you do feel the weightiness, I think probably even non Christians do, of like, what am I leaving behind? But I think especially for the Christian, for the believer, there's just this desire for me to tell, especially my grandchildren now because they're just so young and formidable, that there's a better way, like how much time I wasted swimming in the shallow end of the pool when there was such rich depth and mercy and grace, that I could have been experiencing in relationship, deeper relationship with the Lord. Like that. That is very motivating. But I would say, just even practically, I have a practice of reading my Bible and, in journaling through what God's telling me. And sometimes when my flesh and listen, it's still in there. Obviously we're. This can be something that I struggle against for the whole rest of my life because, because we have just not fully been transformed yet. But I will take my journal out and I will say, okay, Lord, here is what I am feeling. Please let these words and feelings remain on this page with you. Don't let me say them out. Don't let me act on them. Like, would you please, you know, transform me? Would you change my heart? Would you shut my mouth so that I don't go down this road that I know in my flesh?
Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm prone to travel, prone to wander, Lord, I feel it Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. We'll be talking about this more on the other side of the break at some more practical strategies for holiness in your everyday life. We'll have more with Tasha Calvert on, set apart when we get come back.
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The Goodness by TobyMac featuring Blessing Offor: no doubt about you? Everywhere that I go you keep showing up for you make me wanna shout it? Oh, you're the goodness in my life? And I'm gonna tell you my truth? They may come, they may go? You keep showing up so you do? Ain't no doubt about it you are the goodness in my life.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is the Goodness by TobyMac featuring Blessing Offor. And today I'm telling you as listeners of American family radio, you are the goodness in our lives. We're so grateful for you listening in. And today we're having a really good conversation about what it means to be Set apart heart. These are things that are difficult to talk about. But holiness is not just a theological concept that is meant for some stuffy corner of some seminary or just in the sanctuary on Sunday morning. This is a daily practice, and when we live it out, it changes everything. Our homes, our relationships, and even how we handle conflict. I'm talking to women's minister from Prestonwood, Tasha Calvert. She's written a book called Set Apart for More. The transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. And Tasha, again, I think, you know, as a. I was a women's minister, I think that there are probably not. I. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there probably have not been many women who have wanted to have an appointment with you and walk into your office and they want to share a struggle with you. And the first thing out of their mouth is, well, you know, I'm just having a hard time pursuing holiness. Like, I just don't think that's probably how it goes.
Tasha Calvert : Zero women
Dr. Jessica Peck: Okay. I mean, I think they're probably saying, I'm having trouble in my marriage, I'm having trouble with my kids, I'm having financial struggles. You know, my husband left. Like, we have to move. I'm a military family. Like, I can imagine a bunch of other things, but not, like, how can I strive to be more holy? Like, I just, how do we get past that? And I think that's. That's a really big task. Take us on that journey and, and help us understand some more about how this is the everyday practice and how it impacts, impacts those things that women are asking you about, about their families, right?
Tasha Calvert : Absolutely. No. And you've really hit the nail on the head because at, at its core, most of the time, when somebody does make an appointment, and really, this is us too. I mean, you know, at the end of the day, my biggest questions are usually like, how do I get from point A to point point B where I think I need to be? How. What does, what does God want me to do? Like, we want the checklist. We, we want to just. Then we can take it back into our control and do the right things. and that's really hard. It's hard to achieve holiness with that mindset. in many ways, as much as we dog on legalism, in many ways, a lot of our questions are kind of designed to say, can you just give me the formula? Like, what is the five steps? And we kind of want that. The way I like to think about it is just very Practical. In fact, as a pediatric nurse, you might relate to this. I have had four daughters. And, we grew our family biologically, so we. So I gave birth to every single one of them. And at every, birth, when it was time to give birth to my daughters, I would go to the hospital and I would introduce myself to the nurse, and I would say, okay, I am going to cooperate with everything you tell me to do. you know, there is. There's kind of a plan, but every birth story is different. So if you tell me to shift this way, I'll shift. If you tell me to breathe now, I'll breathe. If you tell me to, you know, hold my breath a little bit longer or breathe out, like, whatever it is, I'm going to cooperate to the best of my ability with what you tell me to do. But at the end of the day, it's your job to get this baby out. And that was really how I. How I thought about it. Like, there was. There was kind of this understanding that, like, you know, I don't. I, don't know what I'm doing here. So I'm just going to listen to you and walk with you through this process and let be the one that does it. And really, that has become. My posture towards holiness is, Lord, you have given us some very practical things in your word. And, to the best of my ability, I won't do it perfectly. But to the best of my ability, I'm going to cooperate with you. But at the end of the day, you're going to have to produce this in me. It won't be because of the steps I took. It will be because. Because of, the posture in which I put myself for you to work in me. And so, practically speaking, like, when we look at what it looks like to cooperate with the Holy Spirit, first of all, it's acknowledging that he's there. I think, we're prone to be people that go through chunks of our week and maybe even months, and we don't even really cognitively recognize that, hey, there is a Holy Spirit that has gone every single place with you. How many times have you employed his help, asked him what he would want you to do? So even just acknowledging, again, orienting ourselves towards the Lord, but then just recognizing there are some. There are some foundational things that God calls us to, and two of the biggest foundations, I call them building blocks of holiness, just getting practical, are God's word and God's people. And so if you want to know, like, getting off, just if you don't ever even read the book and this is the only conversation that you hear about how to pursue holiness. I would say here's two good places to start. Open your Bible, ask God to illuminate His Word and speak to you directly. He will do that and make a consistent practice of reading His Word. Don't just do it today and expect holiness to come tomorrow. Make, you know, keep a rhythm is how I tell my women at Prestonwood. Keep a rhythm in God's Word and then two. Surround yourself with God's people. Now, I will tell you that the context we most see that especially in the NewSong Testament, is going to be the church you need to. This isn't legalism. This is just honestly, wisdom. We need to be plugged into the body of a church. And by plugged in, that doesn't mean that we go every Sunday, slip into the back row. It means we need to have, to your earlier point, friendships, relationships. We need to have people speaking into our lives and our decisions, decisions. And, allow God's. You know, he calls us a family, the family of God. He describes those of us who are in Christ as a body and a body works together, all of us with different parts. And so we need to not only recognize that that is essential for our formation, but that we are essential for the formation and the health and wellness of the church as a whole because God has given us his spirit and his gift for others as well.
Every Friday we talk about what is going to make your family more holistically healthy
Dr. Jessica Peck: Tasha, I'm so encouraged by what you're saying because I think that's maybe why we can't articulate like, okay, I want to be more holy. But the encouraging thing is that God has given us everyday common graces that we can, pursue. And that's what I talk about every Friday. We are on a journey for healthy habits. So join in on Friday if you're listening. Every Friday we talk about what is going to make your family more holistically healthy. And we start with basic spiritual discipline. That's encouraging to me, Tasha, in a world that's constantly chaotic, that's constantly changing, where cultural strategies are changing, the spiritual strategy has stayed the same. It's read the Word of God, fellowship with God's people in a church, pray and ask God to help you with, in. When you're doing those things intentionally, it. That distance between you and God is less and less. And then the Holy Spirit, his voice becomes louder and louder. And, it's very difficult to walk, walk in sin when you are pursuing the presence of God because the Holy Spirit's conviction becomes so strong. And you know, Tasha, I look at culture and I always view it like a pendulum. It's always a pendulum swinging, you know, from one extreme to another. And when we look at kind of this, this way that we pursue holiness, you know, we can see there was like an era in modern American life m. You know, mid century that was, was that kind of rebelled against that, like, and was like, okay, yeah, we want to have freedom and to do what we want. And, and then we had this swing back. You know, there was like the 50s, it was really strict. And then the 60s and 70s it was really lax. And then the 80s we had, you know, the rise of. No, we've got to. To be against that. It's always a pendulum in culture, but God's word stays the same. How do we maintain that balance of yes, we want our families to be holy, to be set apart, to be called, to pursue God, but we also don't want it to be like. Or else, you know, like that, that it's that rigid. We heard the phrase rules without relationship rebellion. How do we maintain, how do we balance, the law and grace in that pursuit of holiness?
Tasha Calvert : Yeah, yeah. Well, I think the, the thing that we don't ever build into the equation is that we look sometimes at what, what we feel like God is calling us to do and we think, okay, well that's, you know, that's maybe a little extreme or what are people going to think? And I think when we really understand that we. When, when the Holy Spirit is leading in your life, first of all, that tension is, is going to dissolve a little bit because it's not going to feel like legalism. It's going to feel like freedom. That's really God's economy. And it won't make sense to a lot of people because we're so conditioned to, to think of actions and results and and being able to crack the code or life hacks. I mean, how many times do you. And so to actually keep a discipline, that may look on the outside legalistic, but that really is life giving and freedom giving. That is going to stand out to a watching world. and it's going to feel less like. And it's not legalism, like when I talk about having a rhythm in God's word, one of the things that I always say is this is not like I would never encourage somebody, you know, to do it at the set. Like you have to get up every morning and do it at this time and it has to be in this Translation and this long we're talking about what season of life are you in? And there's different seasons. That's very biblical. And how can you stay connected to the Lord? And the thing is, legalism will be what if you approach holiness with a legalistic mindset, it will crush you just like it did the Israelites in the Old Testament. You know, they were trying and trying and trying and they can't, they can't do it. They are, we are sinful creatures. But when you understand and pursue God for who he is and wanting to know him better, the funny thing is that he draws you into relationship. It won't feel like something you have to do. It will feel like something that is that is so beneficial and so buoying, almost like just, just helps you so much that you won't, you won't be having to set your alarm and drag yourself to God's Word every day. You will be looking forward to it because it will become living water to you. You know, there's a reason, right, why Scripture uses these types of analogies because in relationship with him that is, is what happens. You, you are drinking living water that is nourishing your soul and giving you life. You know, one of the things I, I tell women a lot is that when we don't take God seriously when he tells us to know him and to listen to him, listen for his voice and you know, the Bible is the primary way he speaks to us. If the only time we go to the Bible is when we have a question or we have a need or we have gotten ourselves into a bind and we an answer, we are always behind. We are now having to play catch up and clean up. When we keep a regular rhythm in God's Word, not legalistically, but again because we love him and we want to be in fellowship and communication with Him. He knows what's going to happen. I mean, you know, Jessica, you and I don't know what's going to happen at 3 o' clock when this is over.
Dr. Jessica Peck: No, we don't.
Tasha Calvert : There could be major changes coming our way this afternoon. God knows that. And when we have, ah, a regular rhythm with him and a relationship with him, he prepares us through his word, through his presence, through his people, for what is to come. And I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't know somebody who wouldn't want that. If you could, if you could have a heads up and if you, if you knew what was ahead and could actually get prepared for that and have somebody that was going to walk you through that fire or that joy, whatever it is that's to come, who wouldn't sign up for that. And that's what really the pursuit of holiness is. It is a walk with the Lord that is so precious, that changes you and, gives you the confidence to navigate a world that is very hard. I mean, I think that at least we could all agree on.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, I think back to my, teenage years and my early adult years, and I did have a very legalistic version of God. I had a very legalistic view of my faith. And I remember reading, one day a verse in psalm, Psalm, 37, 4. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. And so I thought, oh, here it is. Okay, I will delight myself in the Lord. I will go to church. I will pray. I. I will do all the right things. I will be the Christianiest Christian that ever walked the face of the planet. And then God's going to give me these things that I want. And the biggest plot twist of my life, Tasha, was as I started to do those things, the Lord totally changed my heart. Those things that I thought I couldn't live without, I couldn't live with, you know, and that is, the beautiful part about that. And so to those who are listening, if you are feeling the pressure to keep up, to stand out, to make yourself special, measure up in whatever way. This conversation, I hope, has been an invitation to you, to something better. As Tasha said, something more freeing. You don't have to strive to become set apart. If you're in Christ, you already are. And so the question is, are you going to live like it? Thank you, Tasha, for joining us today. Her new book, set Apart for more, is available now. The transformative power of living your whole life for a holy God. This would be a great investment in your family and your legacy. And we encourage you. Don't just listen to the show. Live it out right where you are. And I pray that wherever you are, whatever you are facing, that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. And I will see you right back here tomorrow.
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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast. May not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
Jessica talks with Tasha Calvert, Women's Minister at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, about being set apart in a far better way than the world has to offer.
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