Thanking Sponsor Preborn for Saving Babies Through Ultrasounds and Encouraging Donations for More Machines
Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound250 and say the keyword baby or visit preborn.com/AFR Candace talks
: about finding out she was pregnant. Thankfully, an ultra ultrasound provided by PreBorn allowed her to hear her baby's heartbeat. The sonogram sealed the deal for me. My baby was like this tiny little spectrum of hope and I saw his heart beating on the screen and knowing that there's life growing inside, I mean, that sonogram changed my life. I went from just Candace to mom. Thank you to everybody that has given these gifts. You guys are giving more than money. You guys are giving love.
: PreBorn currently has clinics that do not have ultrasound machines. Would you consider a leadership gift and sponsor a machine today? These life Saving machines cost $15,000: more than most centers can afford. Your donation will save countless lives for years to come. Dial pound250 and say the keyword baby or go to preborn.com/AFR hello and welcome to the Doctor Nursemama Show Prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio.
Introduction to the Doctor Nursemama Show and a Look Back at Healthy Habits for Healthy Families
Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day. On my favorite day of the week, friends, it is fry. Yay. As my kids say, it is Friday. And I hope you're having a great Friday. And whatever you're doing this weekend, if you're working, if you are going to kids sports games, if you're just having time with family, whatever you're doing, I pray that you have a really great weekend. And I'm so grateful that you have joined in to listen today. I'm so grateful for those of you who listen regularly and are invested in being the best person you can possibly be for your families. And we've been on a journey together this year on Fridays, every Friday. We have talked about a healthy habit for healthy families and it has been great to hear from some of you, about that. And we would love for you to call in to our listener storyline for share a thon. I'll give the phone number for that in just a little bit. So hang on for that. But we would, we'd love to Hear about how American family Radio, how this program is impacting your life.
Exploring the Importance of Being a Good Friend in the Modern Age and Biblical Perspectives on Friendship
And in the beginning of the year, we started out with four core spiritual disciplines. And we also talked about some, some rhythms that you need, some communication patterns. Spent all summer talking about tech safety. You can listen to any Friday show to catch up or you can get the one minute version on the doctor nurse mama coaching minutes. But we are right now in a new portion of the series that I'm calling the Be attitudes, the how to be for your family. And today we're talking about something that really does impact our lives more than we probably think it does today. The habit is to be a good friend. Now I know even as adults, we need friends in our life. And as, as parents, as grandparents, we see our kids navigating friendships trying to find a friend. We have kids who are just lonely and are praying every night that God would just give them a friend. I know I have been through seasons as a mom like that and it just hurts your heart. And then you see seasons where they have friends, but maybe they're not great friends, maybe they're not the best influences. And how do you navigate that? And it's really hard to watch your family members, you know, invest in a friendship that seems one sided, that seems like, you know, you're the person you love is investing all of this love and time and attention and maybe not getting that in return. And then we have the other side of the equation where, friendships are just labeled as toxic really easily. Anytime any bit of conflict or discomfort comes up, it's like, let's just walk away. And this is all in the, in the midst of an epidemic of loneliness. So how do we be a good friend? This is a biblical concept. And we do spend a lot of energy teaching our kids how to find good friends, but we also need to teach them how to be good friends. You probably heard it said, if you want a good friend, you have to first learn to be one. Now, friendship is not just about popularity or inclusion or play dates or likes or followers. Healthy friendship requires character, requires loyalty, honesty, encouragement, sacrifices, healthy boundaries, forgiveness when you get your feelings hurt, as you inevitably will. But Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. And we really live in this fascinating and sometimes heartbreaking moment in the history of friendship.
The Decline of Friendship Amidst Technology and Loneliness Epidemic: Navigating Digital Age Challenges
We have more ways to connect than any generation ever before us. And yet we are hearing about this epidemic of loneliness and isolation. And even what I have heard some experts refer to as Something called friendship recession. And that really started with COVID That really shook out the way that we were able to get together socially and cause some caused some changes in the way that we conduct friendships. Our children's can have hundreds or even thousands of followers on social media sometimes and still wonder like who is really my friend? Who, who do I really call my friend? We all, all of these quote unquote friends online. But where the friendships in real life, they can watch their friends hanging out without them in real time. That fomo, that fear of missing out is real. They can see a group photo that they weren't included in, they weren't invited to. They send a text and they obsess over why hasn't this person responded yet? Is the read receipt on or is it not? And they can be removed from a group chat. They can be unfollowed, blocked, ghosted or unfriended, which wasn't even a word until social media without ever having an actual conversation about what happened. That's not healthy. And then now we add on another layer of AI companions that promise. They promise literal friendship but yet this is not a human entity. This is a predictive robot. And that but they're promising friendship without the inconvenience or the messiness of dealing with another human being. And that's where we see AI companions. I've talked about this a lot on the show. Being sycophantic and groomed, grooming our kids really to say like okay these, this is what we're. They are programmed to please people and that is not healthy. And a customizable companion isn't something that gets tired or disagrees with you, which is really concerning or have competing needs. It doesn't require you to sacrifice, it just tells you what you want to hear. But those are the things that make friendship authentic in a way that is really valuable to us. Because real friendship isn't designed to be perfect. It is isn't designed around convenience. But we see this cultural tension because it's changing expectations about what friendships should look like. We see things like words like situationship that says hey, I want to be friends with you or maybe even have a romantic relationship with you, but I want you to expect absolutely nothing from me. And I'm only going to engage if it benefits me. Well, you can see one party in that is going to end up getting hurt. And we see digital friendship is replacing some face to face connection connections. We see social comparison that is constant, the pressure to be constantly available. That's not healthy either.
Constant Availability, Public Conflict, and the Labeling of Friendships as Toxic in the Digital Era
Like I can reach you 24 7. You know, when I was growing up in Gen X, my friends did not dare to call the landline after 9pm because they know her dad might answer the phone. And that's a really scary thing. But now we have kids who feel justified in demanding 24. 7 access to each other. Why aren't you answering me late at night? So what if, if it's late at night? Like that's just 24. 7. And conflict that kids have in their friendship is often played out very publicly, often in digital forums. So if they have a disagreement, if they're burning or flaming each other, you know, throwing back insults, that can happen online. We also see toxic as a label that is very quickly applied to difficult relationships. If there's any bit of discomfort, if you, you know, make me uncomfortable anyway, if you speak to me that I don't like, if you hurt my feelings, well, it's just we have this kind of knee jerk reaction to say, oh well, that friendship's toxic, it's not serving you anymore, get rid of it. And that's not really a biblical framework either. We have an increased willingness to cut people off rather than to work through conflict.
AI's Impact on Relationships, Cultural Normalization of Toxic Friendships, and Friendflation
And AI is amplifying this tremendously because AI tells us what we want to hear. And so we are being accustomed to expect that from all of our relationships. And when, when we have friends who we need in our lives to speak up and to say, hey, you know, that wasn't kind or no, that, that's, that's kind of selfish or you should apologize for that. Then we say, oh, well, you're, you're toxic, you, you're just, you're not serving me anymore. So you ghost, you just cut them off, you unfriend them. And we see this happening, in, not only in friendships but in kids romantic relationships. And sometimes we see those romantic relationships receiving greater priority than friendships which shouldn't be happening at young age of teenage, of teenage lives. We also see in culture entertainment really normalizes and even more than normalizes to some extent glamorizes things like betrayal and manipulation and coarse language and drama, like having all of this drama. Last summer, one of the most popular shows was the Summer I Turned Pretty. I don't recommend it, but I'm telling you, the drama that was there and those friendships, it really, that it's looking at some of the elements of those friendships that are toxic, that are toxic and are normalized to say like, yeah, I can be selfish, I can lie to you, I can use you in any way I want. And oh, that makes for a good story. No, it makes for a terrible friendship. And we also see a concept, I've talked about a friendship session. There's also a concept called friendflation. Now that's the expectation that friendship requires expensive experiences.
The Christian Perspective on Friendship: Community, Edification, Truth, and Pointing Towards Christ
So you know, you if maybe that's in the process of getting married where you know, I expect you to, you know, have this outfit for this event and go on this experience or this trip or this destination event, this social media worthy moment that can feel kind of pressure. And as parents and grandparents, we're watching our kids navigate all of this in real time. But here's the thing. Scripture gives us a radically different picture as it usually does a friendship, a better way. We know that God designed us for community. We were never intended to navigate life alone. But Christian friendship isn't just about finding people who make me feel good, who make me look good, who make me sound good. It's about becoming the kind of person who encourages and edifies and tells the truth, even when it's hard, who carries burdens with somebody, even when that's not pleasant, who celebrates others, who forgives, who serves and points people toward Christ. So really today's habit is pretty simple. Be a good friend. And we're going to talk about five kinds of people that every family needs. Five kinds of friends that we can become for others. So before we talk about that, let's establish something really important. Friendship is not just a social issue. It is a critical part and especially for kids, it is a critical component.
The Critical Role of Friendships in Child Development and the Parental Stance on Influence
It is something that is God given, that's a part of our emotional, social, mental and spiritual health. And for kids and for teenagers, friendships have an enormous impact on identity and belonging, decision making, confidence, behavior and the construction of their faith. Friendships have a very big impact on worldview. And sometimes as parents, because we're so afraid in today's world, we take that, that fearful stance even when approaching our kids, friendships and we approach it from a protective stance, a protective posture. When we see kids, we're thinking, okay, what kind of kid are you? Are you a, ah, good influence? Are you going to be good for my kid? Are you not? And that's, that's really important. But we also need to make sure that we have this bidirectional approach that we are being protective and helping our kids to curate healthy friendships, but that we're also not blind to see the kind of friend that our own child is being becoming.
Navigating Digital Intimacy Gaps, Public Conflict, and the Amplified Risks on Social Media Platforms
Are we equipping them to be a good friend and so that is hard because in this kind of really awkward place where we have unprecedented access to each other, but we actually have very decreased relational intimacy. We're not talking about things that matter because we're talking about them publicly on social media and online. Connection creates an appearance or an illusion of community without all of the, the benefits of relational depth. And when we're communicating digitally especially, what does, is it removes facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, and immediate opportunities for repair. So when we're talking with somebody in real time, we can see, oh, their face looks upset, their, their voice sounds upset. Let's initiate this repair instead. We can misinterpret it. And then when there's conflict, it's just like, oh, let's just leave that alone for a little while, see if that goes away. And social media creates an audience for ordinary friendship conflicts. So normal conflicts that we have, we see played out on social media, people take sides. Now let me tell you, this is an extreme example, but one case that I worked in the past was a case of a, of a child who, a teenager who had a breakup in a relationship. And it was a very popular couple. And so this took to social media and you were team so and so or team so and so. Well, that became such a fracturing, traumatic experience in that and one, one of the injured parties feeling like they were, they were the losing end of that social battle of who is worthy the social crown here. And it actually ended up where that child was extremely vulnerable to a trafficker that found them online. Now I know that's a really extreme example and I don't want you to be afraid, but I want you to know that that kind of amplification of risk is really real. And we can be very proactive in our stance and making sure that we're walking through kids with that because children are experiencing conflict continuously. It's not just during the school hours now, it follows them home. And this connection that's kind of an artificial connection through digital, digital arenas is not the same as a real meaningful friendship. And just because you have, you're in a group chat or a snap streak or somebody likes or comments or you're added or excluded from close friends stories or you know, any of those things, it doesn't mean that you have a real friend friendship.
Addressing Teenage Drama, Social Media Influence, and the Need for Healthy Conversations About Friendship
And what we may look at as silly and what looks like teenage drama can feel really like the whole world to a developing child whose social world is central to identity and belonging. When we come back, I'll give you some tips on how to help your children become a good friend. See you on the other side of this break. Hello, I'm Jessica peck, host of Dr. Nursemama. Did you know that this content is listener supported? Without people like you, this podcast would not exist. And that's why we need you. A generous monthly gift of any amount will help sustain American Family Radio and specifically this podcast. Please consider becoming a monthly financial partner today by visiting afr.net/give that's afr.net/give
Christ is Enough by Meredith Andrews
Christ is my reward and all my devotion. Now there's nothing in this world that can ever satisfy through every trial my soul will see no turning back I've been set free Christ is enough for me Christ is enough for me Everything I need is in you Everything I need welcome back friends. That is Christ is Enough by Meredith Andrews. And in Proverbs 16:24 we are told that a man of many companions may come to ruin. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. And that friend is Jesus and Jesus.
Essential Friendship Skills for Children and the Importance of Active Participation in Building Relationships
Jesus is enough for us. But God has also created us to live in companionship. And today I'm talking about navigating friendships and some of the modern complexities that make it difficult for parents and grandparents to navigate friendships, they're just not as simple as they used to be when we were growing up. And that is something that is really sad. But the encouraging thing is that the skills needed for friendship are still the same same kids need to know how to be good listeners, take turns, include others, ask good questions, be good conversationalists to share to celebrate someone else's success, apologize, forgive, tell the truth, keep a confidence to recognize when someone is hurting and respond to respect boundaries that people put up that are healthy to say no, to handle disappointment, to repair conflict. Friendship is not something that just happens to us. It's something that our kids can be active participants in, creating. And I shared with you earlier from Proverbs 17:17 a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. But it doesn't say a friend loves when you're entertaining or you're popular or you're useful or you agree with them or you're convenient or you serve them at that point in their life. A friend loves at all time.
Cultivating Friendship Ecosystems: Avoiding Over-reliance on Single Relationships for Relational Needs
Now, that doesn't mean tolerating unhealthy behavior. It means that biblical friendship is characterized by faithfulness. And so the question isn't so much do I have a good friend? But, but am I a, good friend? Because one of the greatest gifts that we can give our kids is not just teaching them how to recognize healthy friendship. It's teaching them how to practice it, how to walk into it. And you can do that by building a friendship ecosystem in your family. Because one of the reasons friendship can feel so disappointing is we expect one person to meet every relational need that we have. We want one person to kind of be everything. And that's a lot to ask of one human being.
The Five Essential Friends: Intercessors, Counselors, and the Wisdom of Trusted Advisors
If you have an network of healthy relationships, each can serve a different purpose. So these are the five friends that I think everybody needs in their life and the, and the five kinds of friendship. Now, one is the intercessor. Somebody who is going to pray for you whenever you ask, who is that person? And you have that person identified in your life. Like, this is the friend who will pray for me at the drop of a hat, who will just do, you know, just no questions asked. And I know that they will. They won't just say that they will. They really will. You also need a counselor. Now, that can be just, somebody who is wise in your life. Somebody maybe who's older, who has more life experience, who's more spiritually mature, you know, somebody that you aspire to be like. But most importantly, someone who loves you enough to tell you the truth, who's not just going to say, oh, yeah, you were right. I can't believe they did that to you. Who might say, you know, maybe you perhaps should look at your own motivation there. Maybe you got that one wrong. Who is that? Is it a mentor? Maybe it's a spiritual leader, a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a trusted friend. It may even be a professional counselor. The defining characteristic is that it's not someone who's always going to agree with you, but someone with wisdom and perspective, who has your best interest at heart. And Proverbs, again, such a great source of wisdom. Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that faithful wounds from a friend can be trusted. And so sometimes love and friendship says, hey, I think you're wrong, or I don't think that's a healthy choice, or you need to apologize, or I'm worried about you. There's a really big difference between judgmental criticism and loving correction. The third one is a ride or die. That person who knows you, who loves you and who stays no matter what. The person who sees the good, the bad, the ugly, and still shows up. That is the soul level friendship. Someone who appreciates how God uniquely made you, who's going to celebrate your victories without one ounce of jealousy, who's going to grieve with you show up when things are hard. That friend who does not keep score doesn't disappear when your emotions are inconvenient and can be called in the middle of the night. Who's that? 2:00am friend. That is. That.
Finding Connection in Shared Seasons of Life and Understanding Each Other's Journeys
That is just such a treasure. The fourth one is someone in the same boat, somebody who just gets it, who understands this particular season of life that you're walking through because they're walking through it too. Maybe it's somebody else who, who's navigating new parenthood or the toddler years. Because even as adults we need friends like that. Maybe it's divorce or widowhood or infertility or financial stress or military service. Maybe it's somebody who's also caring for their aging parents or has a child with a special health care needs. Somebody else on a cancer journey, an adoption journey in early empty nesters or going through the teen years or grief. Who is that person who is going to, to be there for you and you don't have to explain everything, that it's because it's hard, they just haven't walked in your shoes. Somebody who has been there and gets it. And the last one is not.
The Importance of Trusted Healthcare Providers and Moving Beyond Restriction to Healthy Conversation
I'm, concluding it in the friend group because you need this person in your circle, but that is a health care provider, somebody that you trust who knows you, who knows your family, who is going to respect and honor your worldview. You need somebody that you trust that you can go to for healthcare decisions. Those are the five people I think that every family needs, needs there. But we need to be active in helping our kids to navigate friendship. And again, we have this protective instinct that when we see our kid being hurt by a friend or maybe exploring a friendship that we think, no, that's not good. Then we say, oh, that person's not a good influence. You're not allowed to see that person anymore. And sometimes there are situations where parents absolutely need to intervene. But friendship is really different. That access is different.
Coaching Children to Cultivate Discernment and Identify Healthy Friendships Through Self-Reflection
So it's not as easy to say, say you can't be friends with that person because maybe that relationship is still going to continue because they're all in the group chat for something for school, or maybe they're in a, gaming group or social media or they have shared classes or they're friends of friends and all of those things, they're on digital platforms that parents don't even know exist. And so we've got to move beyond just restriction and punishment and prohibition. We've got to move towards healthy Conversation. Helping our kids cultivate discernment around, who is going to be a good friend, coaching them to put healthy boundaries in those friendships, that's really important. So when our kids are struggling with a friend, there's some questions that we can ask to help them to build that discernment. So when they're telling you about the conflict that they're having, ask, the first question you should ask is, hey, how do you feel, feel when you're around this person? After you spend time with them? What do you notice that you feel? Does their company make you happy? Do you feel relaxed?
Evaluating Friendships Based on Feelings, Freedom to Be Oneself, and Mutual Respect for Identity
Do you feel safe? Are you laughing? Do you look forward to seeing them? Because not every, not every friendship needs to be, you know, like a made for TV movie all the time. But if there is a relationship where you're spending time together and you leave that, that time together and you feel worse about yourself, you come home and you feel, feel bad, you feel anxious, you feel humiliated, you feel pressured, that is not a healthy indicator. And helping them to recognize, every time I'm with this person, this is the way that it's making me feel. That's more powerful than just saying this person is not a good influence on you. You don't need to hang around them anymore. We need to help them come to that realization. Then ask them, hey, how do you, how free do you feel to be yourself around this person? Like, if you're goofy, do you feel free to be goofy? Or do you feel like, oh, I have to like what they and I have to do what they do. Even though that's not really me, that's not really my personality. I feel like I have to pretend to like something maybe I don't really like. Now, a friend doesn't have to be exactly like you, but we should never have to surrender our values for sure, or surrender our identity to belong.
Reciprocity in Friendship, Recognizing Social Influence, and Prioritizing Healthy Relationships Over Status
A real friend is going to see you for who God made you to be. Another question that you can ask when navigating these difficult friendships is ask the ask the child. How do you think this person feels about you? How do you know that they care about you? What do they do to make sure that they're showing you that you're important? Do they remember the things that matter to you? Are they checking in with you as much as you're checking into them? Do you feel like they listen or notice when you're struggling? Or do they celebrate your successes? Or does every conversation somehow become about them? Because friendship requires some reciprocity. It requires some give and some take and Healthy friendship has mutual care. Care. Now, this is a really tough question to ask, but one that you can ask even yourself. Because sometimes when we're afraid to lose a friendship, we're not so afraid to lose that person in our life. We're afraid to lose the influence that we have. The status, the access to a specific group, the popularity, the invitations that we get to attend certain events or the social position. I know that's really tough. That comes with being their friend. And we think, okay, well, I really don't.
Assessing Friendship Dynamics: Identifying Positive Influences, Healthy Boundaries, and Avoiding Toxic Patterns
I don't think this friendship is that great. But if I, I back off on this, then I can't go to this, you know, event anymore or this, you know, be, be in this lunch club or this sports group or whatever it is. But we need to recognize that sometimes we cling to relationships because of what that relationship provides for us, socially. I know that's so hard, but in a day that prioritizes social status, we have to really prioritize healthy relationships. And then another question that you can talk to your kids about or even yourself, just say, do you like who you are when you're around this person? Do they bring out the best in you? Do other people like being around you when you're around this person because they like who you? Are you kinder? Are you honest? Are you more courageous? Are you more compassionate? Do they bring out the best in you? Or being in this relationship, does it bring out the worst in you? Do you say things that you wish you hadn't said? Do you maybe gossip when you wish you hadn't? Maybe you're dishonest, or maybe you do things that you wouldn't do. You approve things even tacitly, just kind of by not saying anything. Is there constant drama? Those are good questions to talk through. That moves from, I forbid it, you cannot be friends with this person, to, hey, let's really talk about this.
Empowering Children to Make Decisions, Set Boundaries, and Navigate Difficult Friendships Safely
Let's explore how this is impacting you instead of, you know, that kid is so bad for you. Like, tell me what you like about that friendship? What concerns you about it? How do you feel about yourself when you're with them? What do you think a healthy friendship should look like? What are characteristics that you're trying to develop in yourself? And what are you looking for in a healthy friendship? This matters because children and teenagers are still developing the skills that they need to make complex decisions. And so we cannot make every decision for them up until they're 18. We need to constantly be teaching them more and more how to make their own decisions. Walking them through that. Don't just remove the relationship. Teach them how to discern the relationship and put up healthy boundaries in and also we need to have healthy boundaries, whatever that would look like. And now sometimes we do need to draw a hard line. If there is bullying, abuse, exploitation, dangerous behavior, if there's threats, coercion, self harm, safety concerns, any of those, we can say, a healthy friendship has boundaries. And this is a hard line. I can love you and I can still say no, and I can still care about you without letting you participate in something that is unsafe. And so just decide when you're going to draw that line. Be kind, be calm, but be resolute in. And holding that line, that's really important.
Practicing Friendship Skills: Listening, Including, Encouraging, Repairing Relationships, and Showing Up
So you just don't want to ask, you know, who are your friends who can be a good friend to you? But how, how can we be a good friend to others? And we can do that by practicing some basic friendship skills by listening with our face. Teach your kids and teach yourself how to give someone the gift of your undivided attention. Just put your phone down and really listen to them. Include them. Notice somebody who's being left out, Invite them to join you. Encourage someone who needs encouragement and repair those relationships that are hurt. When you, when you hurt someone, apologize, ask for their forgiveness, and then show up. Even if it's inconvenient, even if it costs you something, if someone you love needs you, show up and be there. And so instead of asking, does my child have good friends? Really flip that question and say, what kind of friend am I teaching my child to become? Because friendships are caught as much as they're taught. Because kids are watching us as adults. And it's one of my favorite things to talk to teenagers and tell them, hey, when you're in your 40s, your 50s, your 60s, guess what? Some of these same friendship problems still exist. We still have fear of missing out. We still have jealousy. We still have friendship conflict. And that is important because children are watching. How do we talk about people who aren't in the room? How do we handle disagreement? How do we apologize? How do we forgive? How do we show up?
Modeling Healthy Friendships: Kids Learn Through Observation of Apologies, Forgiveness, and Care
How do we keep confidences when someone asks us to keep something confidential? How do we set healthy boundaries in our lives? How do we celebrate other people's successes? And how do we care for people even when that care is inconvenient? Because ultimately our kids need more instructions than instructions about friendship. They need to see that embodied. What does that look like? We need to model the kind of friendship that we hope our children will pursue. We can be people who listen, who encourage, who tell the truth, who forgive, who include people who pray and who show up because as I said in Proverbs 17:17, A friend loves at all time. And that's the habit that we want to cultivate.
Social Media's Link to Product Use, Influencer Culture, and Equipping Kids for Healthy Friendships
Not just having good friends, but being good friends and progress and not perfection. Now, when I'm looking at Homefront headlines, many of these are related to social media and to friendship. And when we come back back I'll talk more about that. One of the headlines that caught my eye this week is a study that showed social media is linked to riskier product use in teens. Well, what does that mean? Well, this was, a study that came out of NewSong Jersey, actually looking at everyday products like shampoo, soap, toothpaste, deodorant, things like that. And they found a relationship between social media, beauty content and greater personal care product use. Now, not only does that work with influencers, friends are influencers too. So when we come back, I, will talk about why this matters to families and how you can equip your kids to respond to all of that cultural pressure by pursuing healthy friendships. Be a good friend. We'll see you right after the break, friend.
American Family Association's Mission to Defend Biblical Principles Against Cultural Attacks
Buddy Smith Jeff Chamblee: We live in a day when America's families are under attack like never before. Buddy Smith, Senior vice president of the American Family Association. The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts. The Internet, Hollywood, Washington, D.C. america's corporate boardrooms, and the list goes on. At American Family association. We're committed to standing against the enemies of God, the enemies of your family. And we recognize impossible task without God's favor and your partnership. Thank you for being faithful to pray for this ministry, to give financially and to respond to our calls for activism. What you do on the home front is crucial to what we do on the battlefront. We praise God for your faithfulness and may he give us many victories in the battles ahead as we work together to restore our nation's biblical foundations. amazing! by Elevation Rhythm and Josiah Queen M.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is, amazing! by Elevation Rhythm and Josiah Queen. What a great Friday song to really just lift your spirits. I'm thinking you so much for being here. I do want to hear from you. Share A thon is coming up. That is twice a year that American Family Radio comes to you and asks you for listener support. But in that one of my favorite parts of the week is hearing listener stories. I told you I'd give out the line. Here it is. 877-876-8893. That's 8778-76-8893. It's just like an old fashioned recorder. You can call and leave us a message and tell us about how this program or any program or ministry of American Family association has positively impacted you. So call and leave me a message and you might hear it on the radio on Sharathon.
The Rise of Influencer Culture and Its Impact on Teen Product Consumption and Worldview
Well, today we're talking about being a good friend. And I'm, at the Friday segment of Home Front Headlines where I'm telling you about headlines that have caught my attention, that I'm paying attention to. And really we see a rise of influencer culture. It used to be that as parents we had a lot more control over who or what forces influenced our kids. But now that just seems out the window because influencers are everywhere. And there was a study out of NewSong Jersey this week, as I said before the break, who that they compared teens who followed influencers with their own product lines versus those who didn't. And those teens who followed influencers with their own product lines, they used 30% more products during the previous 24 hours than those who did not. So it says, hey, influencers work, it sells product. Now, teens who regularly watch hair or beauty tutorials report using 40% more products. So if you are looking at your household grocery bill for those kinds of items, this may be an influencing factor. And girls, of course, use substantially more products than boys, although that is a shift that is changing because we see marketers who recognized untapped potential. Why it's all about skin care today. And so why do boys not need skin care? And we see that people are used, kids are using products at a way greater rate than maybe previous generations. About 57% of students reported using fragrance products and only about 19% regularly read the ingredient labels. And only 5% reported using an app or website designed to identify potentially concerning ingredient ingredients. So it doesn't say that social media caused the teens to use these products. It's an association. It's a correlation between social media engagement with beauty culture, content, content and greater product use. So it was also just one small study in one place.
Navigating Influencer Culture: Media Literacy, Identity Formation, and Counteracting Consumerism
So it shouldn't make us afraid, but it is a great opening talking point for our kids to talk about who and what is influencing them. We know that there is risk on social media of things that we're afraid of, like cyber bullying and sexting and predators and depression, anxiety. We're all worried about screen time, but, but this really opens our eyes and attention to another dimension because social media is actively influencing our kids worldview down to what they consume what they are putting on their faces, what products they are using, in their personal self care because social media isn't telling kids, hey, here's a product like an old fashioned commercial would. It says, hey, here's who you need to be. Here's what beauty looks like, here's what your body should look like, here's the problem that you didn't know you have that now I have the solution for you to fix. Here's what everyone else is wearing or ah, using and here's what you're missing. And some suddenly this normal developmental stage becomes I'm a never ending self improvement project that has endless potential for capital earning. And that is really concerning because when we see teens, they are particularly susceptible to these kinds of messages. And we want parents to help kids to become informed consumers to know what they're doing and to think about how is influencer culture really influencing the way that I think about the world? Because the influencer isn't saying this, they're not saying hey, you need this because you're unhealthy. It's just very subtle and it's very effective. Now here's one thing I want you to think about and we're going to talk about being an influencer really soon on the habits. But influencers are, are really successful because they just influence through very mundane things like oh, here's my morning routine every morning. And all of a sudden that morning routine looks so enticing because hey, you look happy, you look healthy, I want to be like you. I'll adopt your morning routine or a Get Ready with Me video. Those are really, really popular. It is amazing to me how people will spend hours just watching someone take care of their skin or wash their face or brush their teeth or floss their teeth. I mean all of a sudden this is prime entertainment, but it's relationship building. It might be a hair transformation or a product haul or a must have list or here's the before and after video. And all of a sudden this product that they are selling becomes associated very deeply with deeper concepts like beauty and belonging and confidence.
Leveraging Influence at Home: Modeling Faith-Informed Identity and Healthy Consumption Habits
If I want to be confident like you, I've got to use the product that you' and we can leverage that in our homes. We can be influencers in our own homes to show, hey, I am happy, I am healthy, I am grounded, I have good friendships and I read my Bible every single morning when I get up and I pray every morning as I'm driving you to school. We can be influencers there because advertising Used to be something that would interrupt the content that was being provided to you. Now that advertising is the content in itself. So we need to make sure that we're understanding the connection between product consumption and identity. It's bigger than just buying a product. These are conversations that kids are subtly having and consuming from influencers about perfectionism and comparison and consumerism and self worth and social belonging and fear of missing out and fixing their perceived flaws. We need to have a faith informed connection, not be afraid of what might happen if I don't use this product. I'm not in this group, if I don't take care of my skin. Now we need to make sure that they are faith informed and that they are being discerning about the messages they are letting into their lives, telling them who they are and what makes them valuable.
Building Identity in Christ, Practicing the Pause Before Purchases, and Engaging in Open Conversations
We want our kids to have identity that is not fixed on their appearance or their popularity or what brands they use or what beauty trends they have or how many followers they have. Their worth isn't something that they purchase. So it's not just a conversation about whether or not you should use a particular product. And usually what happens is we come down to do you see how much that costs? How, how are you going to pay for that? What's in your allowance? But there's a greater issue that's escaping us here and that is one of influence. And we need to have conversations about discipling our kids. Who is discipling our kids? About their parents, their identity, their friendships, what they need to believe. So what do we do about it? How do we respond? Well, we start with conversation, not content. Condemnation. We ask, hey, what accounts do you follow? What products are you seeing over and over? Show them. If you're on social media, show them your feed. I, promise you your algorithm is going to be way, way, way different than theirs. What makes you want to try it? What makes you want to follow somebody? If you look on the for you page, what makes you want to follow somebody on there? Do you think you actually need it or just feels like you should have it? It's just impulsive. And how does watching their content make you feel about your yourself? And what are, what are they trying to make you believe? Like, how do you feel after you engage with them? So we don't start with, you don't need with, you don't need that. You don't need that. That's dumb. Nobody else is using that. I'm not getting that for you. You don't need it. Start with, hey, tell me what you're seeing. Tell me why it's so compelling. And that keeps a relationship open. We need to teach our kids media literacy. Recognizing who is trying to influence me. What are they trying to sell to me? What are they trying to make me feel.
Teaching Media Literacy, Countering the 'More is Better' Mindset, and Modeling Healthy Consumption
Feel so that I'll buy something? What do they want me to read about my, believe about myself? That is really important. And we, we see so much the more is better mindset. And if you believe that, well, just listen to the declutter diary series I've done with Kathi Lipp, who we have talked about that. The fact that that is not the case. But the heart of the issue is identity. Are. Are, we need to make sure our kids know who they are are and whose they are. In Christ, man may look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. That's from 1st Samuel 16, 7. And we praise the Lord because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We need to be giving our kids these kinds of messages and modeling healthy consumption as parents. Children notice when their parents say, you are beautiful just the way God made you. You are so. You are so beautiful. We, we can. You are so special. You are so precious. You are just so cherished and so loved. Our kids may roll their eyes, but they tuck those messages away in their heart. And as parents, we need to practice the pause before we purchase and make sure that just having a little rule, like 24 hours, like it's just going to sit in my cart for 24 hours before I decide, do I really need that, you know, organization thing for a thing I don't really have and will never use. That is really important. So we don't want to raise kids who are afraid of the world, but kids who know how to navigate it. I want to make sure I have time to tell you about one more headline that caught my eye, about friendship.
The Wellness Darty Trend: Gen Z's Health-Conscious Socialization and Shift Away from Traditional Parties
And we see it changing with Gen Z. Gen Alpha. Gen Z are older teenagers now, young adults. Gen Alpha are just now coming up to that 15, 16 year age and they are changing the way that they are getting together together. And one of the trends that I saw this week caught my eye. It's called a, wellness Darty. Have you ever heard of this before? Darty? Like party with a D. Okay, D, A, R, T, Y. And when we used to see how parties were in the past, Gen Z is actually remarkably health conscious. So this is a wellness party. So this is a, A, wellness party. That is a darty because it's during the day. So that's why they're calling it a wellness darty because it's a day party. Okay. It's not at nighttime because you know, we know about the importance of sleep now, which is a great thing. But in this party, if you walk in, you're going to see yoga mats or running shoes or cold plunges. Like maybe we're going to rent a cold plunge tank and that's what everybody's going to have. We're to going to have healthy coffee if there is such a thing. And matcha or groups of people who are working out together who are doing yoga. It's a wellness dy short for daytime party. And this actually really made me laugh. There's some good things about this. It's kind of like the hot girl walk that took over. It was just like, you know, girls with self confidence and going out to walk with their friends and, and you would, you know, either listen to a podcast that would that would edify you, you or you would talk with, with your friends. There's some good things in some of these. So instead of what we saw, and that's portrayed in a lot of popular movie culture which was mostly beer pong or drinking and partying and then having a horrible recovery, really kids are wanting to socialize and recover and connect. And so one of the stories that I saw came out of the Uni University of Florida actually where they have a wellness community called Peak Pulse. And this draws hundreds of students to events that have group group runs and cold plunges and all of these things. But I've seen it at other universities. Florida State, Miami, Syracuse, Alabama.
Gen Z's Desire for Community, Belonging, and Meaningful Experiences Over Materialism
These are just some of the ones that I saw that are jumping on this trend. And so it's socialization but also with wellness activities. And so that is really interesting because what kids are longing for, why this is so popular is because kids want community. They are made by God to live in community. And sometimes, especially in a post Covid era where they were restricted from socializing with each other, they want to socialize but they can feel really anxious about it, about those in person gatherings. So having this healthy thing that they can get around is really it's really exciting. We also see Gen Z having a much lower rate of drinking. Their alcohol consumption is much lower than in gen generations past, which is a good thing. And we see this changing, this demand, this lack of demand kind of changing in industries to where young people want experiences more than they want food or beverage necessarily. And so that is something that can be a good thing. And so we see all of these kind of influencer culture converging. We have the morning routine content, we have the get ready with me. We have wellness and influencers, fitness cultures. And now meeting this socialization opportunity. And so that is important. They're not just looking for fitness, they're looking for belonging. And that's important. They're looking for belonging and friendship, to share experiences, to share a sense of purpose and community and identity. Something to look forward to. So that's exciting.
Bridging the Digital Divide: Offering Real Connection and Intentional Relationships to Young Adults
Rather than just watching something together. Yeah, sure. Go running together, go serving somewhere together, doing something difficult together. Share that experience. And it really connects beautifully with a larger conversation about friendship. Because young adults today have grown up in an increasingly digital environment, and they may have hundreds of followers or constant digital connection, but they still experience profound loneliness. And you have the opportunity to do something really amazing in their life. You can show up, you can give them the gift of your face. You can listen without any distraction. You can invite them into your life to get ready with me.
Teaching Children About Healthy Community, Discernment, and Choosing Influences Wisely
You can invite them to work on something together. You can encourage them. You can show up when things are good and when things are hard. That is a beautiful point of relational health. And that is something that I am definitely encouraged to see. And so teach your children that community is healthy. It is God given. Recognize that what they think is so important in this time, it is so important to this time, they'll gain perspective. Teach your kids to ask questions and to discern the world around them and to intentionally choose who or, what is influencing them. And as you do, I pray, as I always do the that the Lord will bless you with immensely rich friendships and that he will keep you and make his face to shine upon you, and he will give you peace in those relationships and joy. Have a great weekend. I'll see you Monday.
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Thanking Sponsor Preborn for Saving Babies Through Ultrasounds and Encouraging Donations for More Machines
Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound250 and say the keyword baby or visit preborn.com/AFR Candace talks
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Introduction to the Doctor Nursemama Show and a Look Back at Healthy Habits for Healthy Families
Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day. On my favorite day of the week, friends, it is fry. Yay. As my kids say, it is Friday. And I hope you're having a great Friday. And whatever you're doing this weekend, if you're working, if you are going to kids sports games, if you're just having time with family, whatever you're doing, I pray that you have a really great weekend. And I'm so grateful that you have joined in to listen today. I'm so grateful for those of you who listen regularly and are invested in being the best person you can possibly be for your families. And we've been on a journey together this year on Fridays, every Friday. We have talked about a healthy habit for healthy families and it has been great to hear from some of you, about that. And we would love for you to call in to our listener storyline for share a thon. I'll give the phone number for that in just a little bit. So hang on for that. But we would, we'd love to Hear about how American family Radio, how this program is impacting your life.
Exploring the Importance of Being a Good Friend in the Modern Age and Biblical Perspectives on Friendship
And in the beginning of the year, we started out with four core spiritual disciplines. And we also talked about some, some rhythms that you need, some communication patterns. Spent all summer talking about tech safety. You can listen to any Friday show to catch up or you can get the one minute version on the doctor nurse mama coaching minutes. But we are right now in a new portion of the series that I'm calling the Be attitudes, the how to be for your family. And today we're talking about something that really does impact our lives more than we probably think it does today. The habit is to be a good friend. Now I know even as adults, we need friends in our life. And as, as parents, as grandparents, we see our kids navigating friendships trying to find a friend. We have kids who are just lonely and are praying every night that God would just give them a friend. I know I have been through seasons as a mom like that and it just hurts your heart. And then you see seasons where they have friends, but maybe they're not great friends, maybe they're not the best influences. And how do you navigate that? And it's really hard to watch your family members, you know, invest in a friendship that seems one sided, that seems like, you know, you're the person you love is investing all of this love and time and attention and maybe not getting that in return. And then we have the other side of the equation where, friendships are just labeled as toxic really easily. Anytime any bit of conflict or discomfort comes up, it's like, let's just walk away. And this is all in the, in the midst of an epidemic of loneliness. So how do we be a good friend? This is a biblical concept. And we do spend a lot of energy teaching our kids how to find good friends, but we also need to teach them how to be good friends. You probably heard it said, if you want a good friend, you have to first learn to be one. Now, friendship is not just about popularity or inclusion or play dates or likes or followers. Healthy friendship requires character, requires loyalty, honesty, encouragement, sacrifices, healthy boundaries, forgiveness when you get your feelings hurt, as you inevitably will. But Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. And we really live in this fascinating and sometimes heartbreaking moment in the history of friendship.
The Decline of Friendship Amidst Technology and Loneliness Epidemic: Navigating Digital Age Challenges
We have more ways to connect than any generation ever before us. And yet we are hearing about this epidemic of loneliness and isolation. And even what I have heard some experts refer to as Something called friendship recession. And that really started with COVID That really shook out the way that we were able to get together socially and cause some caused some changes in the way that we conduct friendships. Our children's can have hundreds or even thousands of followers on social media sometimes and still wonder like who is really my friend? Who, who do I really call my friend? We all, all of these quote unquote friends online. But where the friendships in real life, they can watch their friends hanging out without them in real time. That fomo, that fear of missing out is real. They can see a group photo that they weren't included in, they weren't invited to. They send a text and they obsess over why hasn't this person responded yet? Is the read receipt on or is it not? And they can be removed from a group chat. They can be unfollowed, blocked, ghosted or unfriended, which wasn't even a word until social media without ever having an actual conversation about what happened. That's not healthy. And then now we add on another layer of AI companions that promise. They promise literal friendship but yet this is not a human entity. This is a predictive robot. And that but they're promising friendship without the inconvenience or the messiness of dealing with another human being. And that's where we see AI companions. I've talked about this a lot on the show. Being sycophantic and groomed, grooming our kids really to say like okay these, this is what we're. They are programmed to please people and that is not healthy. And a customizable companion isn't something that gets tired or disagrees with you, which is really concerning or have competing needs. It doesn't require you to sacrifice, it just tells you what you want to hear. But those are the things that make friendship authentic in a way that is really valuable to us. Because real friendship isn't designed to be perfect. It is isn't designed around convenience. But we see this cultural tension because it's changing expectations about what friendships should look like. We see things like words like situationship that says hey, I want to be friends with you or maybe even have a romantic relationship with you, but I want you to expect absolutely nothing from me. And I'm only going to engage if it benefits me. Well, you can see one party in that is going to end up getting hurt. And we see digital friendship is replacing some face to face connection connections. We see social comparison that is constant, the pressure to be constantly available. That's not healthy either.
Constant Availability, Public Conflict, and the Labeling of Friendships as Toxic in the Digital Era
Like I can reach you 24 7. You know, when I was growing up in Gen X, my friends did not dare to call the landline after 9pm because they know her dad might answer the phone. And that's a really scary thing. But now we have kids who feel justified in demanding 24. 7 access to each other. Why aren't you answering me late at night? So what if, if it's late at night? Like that's just 24. 7. And conflict that kids have in their friendship is often played out very publicly, often in digital forums. So if they have a disagreement, if they're burning or flaming each other, you know, throwing back insults, that can happen online. We also see toxic as a label that is very quickly applied to difficult relationships. If there's any bit of discomfort, if you, you know, make me uncomfortable anyway, if you speak to me that I don't like, if you hurt my feelings, well, it's just we have this kind of knee jerk reaction to say, oh well, that friendship's toxic, it's not serving you anymore, get rid of it. And that's not really a biblical framework either. We have an increased willingness to cut people off rather than to work through conflict.
AI's Impact on Relationships, Cultural Normalization of Toxic Friendships, and Friendflation
And AI is amplifying this tremendously because AI tells us what we want to hear. And so we are being accustomed to expect that from all of our relationships. And when, when we have friends who we need in our lives to speak up and to say, hey, you know, that wasn't kind or no, that, that's, that's kind of selfish or you should apologize for that. Then we say, oh, well, you're, you're toxic, you, you're just, you're not serving me anymore. So you ghost, you just cut them off, you unfriend them. And we see this happening, in, not only in friendships but in kids romantic relationships. And sometimes we see those romantic relationships receiving greater priority than friendships which shouldn't be happening at young age of teenage, of teenage lives. We also see in culture entertainment really normalizes and even more than normalizes to some extent glamorizes things like betrayal and manipulation and coarse language and drama, like having all of this drama. Last summer, one of the most popular shows was the Summer I Turned Pretty. I don't recommend it, but I'm telling you, the drama that was there and those friendships, it really, that it's looking at some of the elements of those friendships that are toxic, that are toxic and are normalized to say like, yeah, I can be selfish, I can lie to you, I can use you in any way I want. And oh, that makes for a good story. No, it makes for a terrible friendship. And we also see a concept, I've talked about a friendship session. There's also a concept called friendflation. Now that's the expectation that friendship requires expensive experiences.
The Christian Perspective on Friendship: Community, Edification, Truth, and Pointing Towards Christ
So you know, you if maybe that's in the process of getting married where you know, I expect you to, you know, have this outfit for this event and go on this experience or this trip or this destination event, this social media worthy moment that can feel kind of pressure. And as parents and grandparents, we're watching our kids navigate all of this in real time. But here's the thing. Scripture gives us a radically different picture as it usually does a friendship, a better way. We know that God designed us for community. We were never intended to navigate life alone. But Christian friendship isn't just about finding people who make me feel good, who make me look good, who make me sound good. It's about becoming the kind of person who encourages and edifies and tells the truth, even when it's hard, who carries burdens with somebody, even when that's not pleasant, who celebrates others, who forgives, who serves and points people toward Christ. So really today's habit is pretty simple. Be a good friend. And we're going to talk about five kinds of people that every family needs. Five kinds of friends that we can become for others. So before we talk about that, let's establish something really important. Friendship is not just a social issue. It is a critical part and especially for kids, it is a critical component.
The Critical Role of Friendships in Child Development and the Parental Stance on Influence
It is something that is God given, that's a part of our emotional, social, mental and spiritual health. And for kids and for teenagers, friendships have an enormous impact on identity and belonging, decision making, confidence, behavior and the construction of their faith. Friendships have a very big impact on worldview. And sometimes as parents, because we're so afraid in today's world, we take that, that fearful stance even when approaching our kids, friendships and we approach it from a protective stance, a protective posture. When we see kids, we're thinking, okay, what kind of kid are you? Are you a, ah, good influence? Are you going to be good for my kid? Are you not? And that's, that's really important. But we also need to make sure that we have this bidirectional approach that we are being protective and helping our kids to curate healthy friendships, but that we're also not blind to see the kind of friend that our own child is being becoming.
Navigating Digital Intimacy Gaps, Public Conflict, and the Amplified Risks on Social Media Platforms
Are we equipping them to be a good friend and so that is hard because in this kind of really awkward place where we have unprecedented access to each other, but we actually have very decreased relational intimacy. We're not talking about things that matter because we're talking about them publicly on social media and online. Connection creates an appearance or an illusion of community without all of the, the benefits of relational depth. And when we're communicating digitally especially, what does, is it removes facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, and immediate opportunities for repair. So when we're talking with somebody in real time, we can see, oh, their face looks upset, their, their voice sounds upset. Let's initiate this repair instead. We can misinterpret it. And then when there's conflict, it's just like, oh, let's just leave that alone for a little while, see if that goes away. And social media creates an audience for ordinary friendship conflicts. So normal conflicts that we have, we see played out on social media, people take sides. Now let me tell you, this is an extreme example, but one case that I worked in the past was a case of a, of a child who, a teenager who had a breakup in a relationship. And it was a very popular couple. And so this took to social media and you were team so and so or team so and so. Well, that became such a fracturing, traumatic experience in that and one, one of the injured parties feeling like they were, they were the losing end of that social battle of who is worthy the social crown here. And it actually ended up where that child was extremely vulnerable to a trafficker that found them online. Now I know that's a really extreme example and I don't want you to be afraid, but I want you to know that that kind of amplification of risk is really real. And we can be very proactive in our stance and making sure that we're walking through kids with that because children are experiencing conflict continuously. It's not just during the school hours now, it follows them home. And this connection that's kind of an artificial connection through digital, digital arenas is not the same as a real meaningful friendship. And just because you have, you're in a group chat or a snap streak or somebody likes or comments or you're added or excluded from close friends stories or you know, any of those things, it doesn't mean that you have a real friend friendship.
Addressing Teenage Drama, Social Media Influence, and the Need for Healthy Conversations About Friendship
And what we may look at as silly and what looks like teenage drama can feel really like the whole world to a developing child whose social world is central to identity and belonging. When we come back, I'll give you some tips on how to help your children become a good friend. See you on the other side of this break. Hello, I'm Jessica peck, host of Dr. Nursemama. Did you know that this content is listener supported? Without people like you, this podcast would not exist. And that's why we need you. A generous monthly gift of any amount will help sustain American Family Radio and specifically this podcast. Please consider becoming a monthly financial partner today by visiting afr.net/give that's afr.net/give
Christ is Enough by Meredith Andrews
Christ is my reward and all my devotion. Now there's nothing in this world that can ever satisfy through every trial my soul will see no turning back I've been set free Christ is enough for me Christ is enough for me Everything I need is in you Everything I need welcome back friends. That is Christ is Enough by Meredith Andrews. And in Proverbs 16:24 we are told that a man of many companions may come to ruin. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. And that friend is Jesus and Jesus.
Essential Friendship Skills for Children and the Importance of Active Participation in Building Relationships
Jesus is enough for us. But God has also created us to live in companionship. And today I'm talking about navigating friendships and some of the modern complexities that make it difficult for parents and grandparents to navigate friendships, they're just not as simple as they used to be when we were growing up. And that is something that is really sad. But the encouraging thing is that the skills needed for friendship are still the same same kids need to know how to be good listeners, take turns, include others, ask good questions, be good conversationalists to share to celebrate someone else's success, apologize, forgive, tell the truth, keep a confidence to recognize when someone is hurting and respond to respect boundaries that people put up that are healthy to say no, to handle disappointment, to repair conflict. Friendship is not something that just happens to us. It's something that our kids can be active participants in, creating. And I shared with you earlier from Proverbs 17:17 a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. But it doesn't say a friend loves when you're entertaining or you're popular or you're useful or you agree with them or you're convenient or you serve them at that point in their life. A friend loves at all time.
Cultivating Friendship Ecosystems: Avoiding Over-reliance on Single Relationships for Relational Needs
Now, that doesn't mean tolerating unhealthy behavior. It means that biblical friendship is characterized by faithfulness. And so the question isn't so much do I have a good friend? But, but am I a, good friend? Because one of the greatest gifts that we can give our kids is not just teaching them how to recognize healthy friendship. It's teaching them how to practice it, how to walk into it. And you can do that by building a friendship ecosystem in your family. Because one of the reasons friendship can feel so disappointing is we expect one person to meet every relational need that we have. We want one person to kind of be everything. And that's a lot to ask of one human being.
The Five Essential Friends: Intercessors, Counselors, and the Wisdom of Trusted Advisors
If you have an network of healthy relationships, each can serve a different purpose. So these are the five friends that I think everybody needs in their life and the, and the five kinds of friendship. Now, one is the intercessor. Somebody who is going to pray for you whenever you ask, who is that person? And you have that person identified in your life. Like, this is the friend who will pray for me at the drop of a hat, who will just do, you know, just no questions asked. And I know that they will. They won't just say that they will. They really will. You also need a counselor. Now, that can be just, somebody who is wise in your life. Somebody maybe who's older, who has more life experience, who's more spiritually mature, you know, somebody that you aspire to be like. But most importantly, someone who loves you enough to tell you the truth, who's not just going to say, oh, yeah, you were right. I can't believe they did that to you. Who might say, you know, maybe you perhaps should look at your own motivation there. Maybe you got that one wrong. Who is that? Is it a mentor? Maybe it's a spiritual leader, a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a trusted friend. It may even be a professional counselor. The defining characteristic is that it's not someone who's always going to agree with you, but someone with wisdom and perspective, who has your best interest at heart. And Proverbs, again, such a great source of wisdom. Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that faithful wounds from a friend can be trusted. And so sometimes love and friendship says, hey, I think you're wrong, or I don't think that's a healthy choice, or you need to apologize, or I'm worried about you. There's a really big difference between judgmental criticism and loving correction. The third one is a ride or die. That person who knows you, who loves you and who stays no matter what. The person who sees the good, the bad, the ugly, and still shows up. That is the soul level friendship. Someone who appreciates how God uniquely made you, who's going to celebrate your victories without one ounce of jealousy, who's going to grieve with you show up when things are hard. That friend who does not keep score doesn't disappear when your emotions are inconvenient and can be called in the middle of the night. Who's that? 2:00am friend. That is. That.
Finding Connection in Shared Seasons of Life and Understanding Each Other's Journeys
That is just such a treasure. The fourth one is someone in the same boat, somebody who just gets it, who understands this particular season of life that you're walking through because they're walking through it too. Maybe it's somebody else who, who's navigating new parenthood or the toddler years. Because even as adults we need friends like that. Maybe it's divorce or widowhood or infertility or financial stress or military service. Maybe it's somebody who's also caring for their aging parents or has a child with a special health care needs. Somebody else on a cancer journey, an adoption journey in early empty nesters or going through the teen years or grief. Who is that person who is going to, to be there for you and you don't have to explain everything, that it's because it's hard, they just haven't walked in your shoes. Somebody who has been there and gets it. And the last one is not.
The Importance of Trusted Healthcare Providers and Moving Beyond Restriction to Healthy Conversation
I'm, concluding it in the friend group because you need this person in your circle, but that is a health care provider, somebody that you trust who knows you, who knows your family, who is going to respect and honor your worldview. You need somebody that you trust that you can go to for healthcare decisions. Those are the five people I think that every family needs, needs there. But we need to be active in helping our kids to navigate friendship. And again, we have this protective instinct that when we see our kid being hurt by a friend or maybe exploring a friendship that we think, no, that's not good. Then we say, oh, that person's not a good influence. You're not allowed to see that person anymore. And sometimes there are situations where parents absolutely need to intervene. But friendship is really different. That access is different.
Coaching Children to Cultivate Discernment and Identify Healthy Friendships Through Self-Reflection
So it's not as easy to say, say you can't be friends with that person because maybe that relationship is still going to continue because they're all in the group chat for something for school, or maybe they're in a, gaming group or social media or they have shared classes or they're friends of friends and all of those things, they're on digital platforms that parents don't even know exist. And so we've got to move beyond just restriction and punishment and prohibition. We've got to move towards healthy Conversation. Helping our kids cultivate discernment around, who is going to be a good friend, coaching them to put healthy boundaries in those friendships, that's really important. So when our kids are struggling with a friend, there's some questions that we can ask to help them to build that discernment. So when they're telling you about the conflict that they're having, ask, the first question you should ask is, hey, how do you feel, feel when you're around this person? After you spend time with them? What do you notice that you feel? Does their company make you happy? Do you feel relaxed?
Evaluating Friendships Based on Feelings, Freedom to Be Oneself, and Mutual Respect for Identity
Do you feel safe? Are you laughing? Do you look forward to seeing them? Because not every, not every friendship needs to be, you know, like a made for TV movie all the time. But if there is a relationship where you're spending time together and you leave that, that time together and you feel worse about yourself, you come home and you feel, feel bad, you feel anxious, you feel humiliated, you feel pressured, that is not a healthy indicator. And helping them to recognize, every time I'm with this person, this is the way that it's making me feel. That's more powerful than just saying this person is not a good influence on you. You don't need to hang around them anymore. We need to help them come to that realization. Then ask them, hey, how do you, how free do you feel to be yourself around this person? Like, if you're goofy, do you feel free to be goofy? Or do you feel like, oh, I have to like what they and I have to do what they do. Even though that's not really me, that's not really my personality. I feel like I have to pretend to like something maybe I don't really like. Now, a friend doesn't have to be exactly like you, but we should never have to surrender our values for sure, or surrender our identity to belong.
Reciprocity in Friendship, Recognizing Social Influence, and Prioritizing Healthy Relationships Over Status
A real friend is going to see you for who God made you to be. Another question that you can ask when navigating these difficult friendships is ask the ask the child. How do you think this person feels about you? How do you know that they care about you? What do they do to make sure that they're showing you that you're important? Do they remember the things that matter to you? Are they checking in with you as much as you're checking into them? Do you feel like they listen or notice when you're struggling? Or do they celebrate your successes? Or does every conversation somehow become about them? Because friendship requires some reciprocity. It requires some give and some take and Healthy friendship has mutual care. Care. Now, this is a really tough question to ask, but one that you can ask even yourself. Because sometimes when we're afraid to lose a friendship, we're not so afraid to lose that person in our life. We're afraid to lose the influence that we have. The status, the access to a specific group, the popularity, the invitations that we get to attend certain events or the social position. I know that's really tough. That comes with being their friend. And we think, okay, well, I really don't.
Assessing Friendship Dynamics: Identifying Positive Influences, Healthy Boundaries, and Avoiding Toxic Patterns
I don't think this friendship is that great. But if I, I back off on this, then I can't go to this, you know, event anymore or this, you know, be, be in this lunch club or this sports group or whatever it is. But we need to recognize that sometimes we cling to relationships because of what that relationship provides for us, socially. I know that's so hard, but in a day that prioritizes social status, we have to really prioritize healthy relationships. And then another question that you can talk to your kids about or even yourself, just say, do you like who you are when you're around this person? Do they bring out the best in you? Do other people like being around you when you're around this person because they like who you? Are you kinder? Are you honest? Are you more courageous? Are you more compassionate? Do they bring out the best in you? Or being in this relationship, does it bring out the worst in you? Do you say things that you wish you hadn't said? Do you maybe gossip when you wish you hadn't? Maybe you're dishonest, or maybe you do things that you wouldn't do. You approve things even tacitly, just kind of by not saying anything. Is there constant drama? Those are good questions to talk through. That moves from, I forbid it, you cannot be friends with this person, to, hey, let's really talk about this.
Empowering Children to Make Decisions, Set Boundaries, and Navigate Difficult Friendships Safely
Let's explore how this is impacting you instead of, you know, that kid is so bad for you. Like, tell me what you like about that friendship? What concerns you about it? How do you feel about yourself when you're with them? What do you think a healthy friendship should look like? What are characteristics that you're trying to develop in yourself? And what are you looking for in a healthy friendship? This matters because children and teenagers are still developing the skills that they need to make complex decisions. And so we cannot make every decision for them up until they're 18. We need to constantly be teaching them more and more how to make their own decisions. Walking them through that. Don't just remove the relationship. Teach them how to discern the relationship and put up healthy boundaries in and also we need to have healthy boundaries, whatever that would look like. And now sometimes we do need to draw a hard line. If there is bullying, abuse, exploitation, dangerous behavior, if there's threats, coercion, self harm, safety concerns, any of those, we can say, a healthy friendship has boundaries. And this is a hard line. I can love you and I can still say no, and I can still care about you without letting you participate in something that is unsafe. And so just decide when you're going to draw that line. Be kind, be calm, but be resolute in. And holding that line, that's really important.
Practicing Friendship Skills: Listening, Including, Encouraging, Repairing Relationships, and Showing Up
So you just don't want to ask, you know, who are your friends who can be a good friend to you? But how, how can we be a good friend to others? And we can do that by practicing some basic friendship skills by listening with our face. Teach your kids and teach yourself how to give someone the gift of your undivided attention. Just put your phone down and really listen to them. Include them. Notice somebody who's being left out, Invite them to join you. Encourage someone who needs encouragement and repair those relationships that are hurt. When you, when you hurt someone, apologize, ask for their forgiveness, and then show up. Even if it's inconvenient, even if it costs you something, if someone you love needs you, show up and be there. And so instead of asking, does my child have good friends? Really flip that question and say, what kind of friend am I teaching my child to become? Because friendships are caught as much as they're taught. Because kids are watching us as adults. And it's one of my favorite things to talk to teenagers and tell them, hey, when you're in your 40s, your 50s, your 60s, guess what? Some of these same friendship problems still exist. We still have fear of missing out. We still have jealousy. We still have friendship conflict. And that is important because children are watching. How do we talk about people who aren't in the room? How do we handle disagreement? How do we apologize? How do we forgive? How do we show up?
Modeling Healthy Friendships: Kids Learn Through Observation of Apologies, Forgiveness, and Care
How do we keep confidences when someone asks us to keep something confidential? How do we set healthy boundaries in our lives? How do we celebrate other people's successes? And how do we care for people even when that care is inconvenient? Because ultimately our kids need more instructions than instructions about friendship. They need to see that embodied. What does that look like? We need to model the kind of friendship that we hope our children will pursue. We can be people who listen, who encourage, who tell the truth, who forgive, who include people who pray and who show up because as I said in Proverbs 17:17, A friend loves at all time. And that's the habit that we want to cultivate.
Social Media's Link to Product Use, Influencer Culture, and Equipping Kids for Healthy Friendships
Not just having good friends, but being good friends and progress and not perfection. Now, when I'm looking at Homefront headlines, many of these are related to social media and to friendship. And when we come back back I'll talk more about that. One of the headlines that caught my eye this week is a study that showed social media is linked to riskier product use in teens. Well, what does that mean? Well, this was, a study that came out of NewSong Jersey, actually looking at everyday products like shampoo, soap, toothpaste, deodorant, things like that. And they found a relationship between social media, beauty content and greater personal care product use. Now, not only does that work with influencers, friends are influencers too. So when we come back, I, will talk about why this matters to families and how you can equip your kids to respond to all of that cultural pressure by pursuing healthy friendships. Be a good friend. We'll see you right after the break, friend.
American Family Association's Mission to Defend Biblical Principles Against Cultural Attacks
Buddy Smith Jeff Chamblee: We live in a day when America's families are under attack like never before. Buddy Smith, Senior vice president of the American Family Association. The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts. The Internet, Hollywood, Washington, D.C. america's corporate boardrooms, and the list goes on. At American Family association. We're committed to standing against the enemies of God, the enemies of your family. And we recognize impossible task without God's favor and your partnership. Thank you for being faithful to pray for this ministry, to give financially and to respond to our calls for activism. What you do on the home front is crucial to what we do on the battlefront. We praise God for your faithfulness and may he give us many victories in the battles ahead as we work together to restore our nation's biblical foundations. amazing! by Elevation Rhythm and Josiah Queen M.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is, amazing! by Elevation Rhythm and Josiah Queen. What a great Friday song to really just lift your spirits. I'm thinking you so much for being here. I do want to hear from you. Share A thon is coming up. That is twice a year that American Family Radio comes to you and asks you for listener support. But in that one of my favorite parts of the week is hearing listener stories. I told you I'd give out the line. Here it is. 877-876-8893. That's 8778-76-8893. It's just like an old fashioned recorder. You can call and leave us a message and tell us about how this program or any program or ministry of American Family association has positively impacted you. So call and leave me a message and you might hear it on the radio on Sharathon.
The Rise of Influencer Culture and Its Impact on Teen Product Consumption and Worldview
Well, today we're talking about being a good friend. And I'm, at the Friday segment of Home Front Headlines where I'm telling you about headlines that have caught my attention, that I'm paying attention to. And really we see a rise of influencer culture. It used to be that as parents we had a lot more control over who or what forces influenced our kids. But now that just seems out the window because influencers are everywhere. And there was a study out of NewSong Jersey this week, as I said before the break, who that they compared teens who followed influencers with their own product lines versus those who didn't. And those teens who followed influencers with their own product lines, they used 30% more products during the previous 24 hours than those who did not. So it says, hey, influencers work, it sells product. Now, teens who regularly watch hair or beauty tutorials report using 40% more products. So if you are looking at your household grocery bill for those kinds of items, this may be an influencing factor. And girls, of course, use substantially more products than boys, although that is a shift that is changing because we see marketers who recognized untapped potential. Why it's all about skin care today. And so why do boys not need skin care? And we see that people are used, kids are using products at a way greater rate than maybe previous generations. About 57% of students reported using fragrance products and only about 19% regularly read the ingredient labels. And only 5% reported using an app or website designed to identify potentially concerning ingredient ingredients. So it doesn't say that social media caused the teens to use these products. It's an association. It's a correlation between social media engagement with beauty culture, content, content and greater product use. So it was also just one small study in one place.
Navigating Influencer Culture: Media Literacy, Identity Formation, and Counteracting Consumerism
So it shouldn't make us afraid, but it is a great opening talking point for our kids to talk about who and what is influencing them. We know that there is risk on social media of things that we're afraid of, like cyber bullying and sexting and predators and depression, anxiety. We're all worried about screen time, but, but this really opens our eyes and attention to another dimension because social media is actively influencing our kids worldview down to what they consume what they are putting on their faces, what products they are using, in their personal self care because social media isn't telling kids, hey, here's a product like an old fashioned commercial would. It says, hey, here's who you need to be. Here's what beauty looks like, here's what your body should look like, here's the problem that you didn't know you have that now I have the solution for you to fix. Here's what everyone else is wearing or ah, using and here's what you're missing. And some suddenly this normal developmental stage becomes I'm a never ending self improvement project that has endless potential for capital earning. And that is really concerning because when we see teens, they are particularly susceptible to these kinds of messages. And we want parents to help kids to become informed consumers to know what they're doing and to think about how is influencer culture really influencing the way that I think about the world? Because the influencer isn't saying this, they're not saying hey, you need this because you're unhealthy. It's just very subtle and it's very effective. Now here's one thing I want you to think about and we're going to talk about being an influencer really soon on the habits. But influencers are, are really successful because they just influence through very mundane things like oh, here's my morning routine every morning. And all of a sudden that morning routine looks so enticing because hey, you look happy, you look healthy, I want to be like you. I'll adopt your morning routine or a Get Ready with Me video. Those are really, really popular. It is amazing to me how people will spend hours just watching someone take care of their skin or wash their face or brush their teeth or floss their teeth. I mean all of a sudden this is prime entertainment, but it's relationship building. It might be a hair transformation or a product haul or a must have list or here's the before and after video. And all of a sudden this product that they are selling becomes associated very deeply with deeper concepts like beauty and belonging and confidence.
Leveraging Influence at Home: Modeling Faith-Informed Identity and Healthy Consumption Habits
If I want to be confident like you, I've got to use the product that you' and we can leverage that in our homes. We can be influencers in our own homes to show, hey, I am happy, I am healthy, I am grounded, I have good friendships and I read my Bible every single morning when I get up and I pray every morning as I'm driving you to school. We can be influencers there because advertising Used to be something that would interrupt the content that was being provided to you. Now that advertising is the content in itself. So we need to make sure that we're understanding the connection between product consumption and identity. It's bigger than just buying a product. These are conversations that kids are subtly having and consuming from influencers about perfectionism and comparison and consumerism and self worth and social belonging and fear of missing out and fixing their perceived flaws. We need to have a faith informed connection, not be afraid of what might happen if I don't use this product. I'm not in this group, if I don't take care of my skin. Now we need to make sure that they are faith informed and that they are being discerning about the messages they are letting into their lives, telling them who they are and what makes them valuable.
Building Identity in Christ, Practicing the Pause Before Purchases, and Engaging in Open Conversations
We want our kids to have identity that is not fixed on their appearance or their popularity or what brands they use or what beauty trends they have or how many followers they have. Their worth isn't something that they purchase. So it's not just a conversation about whether or not you should use a particular product. And usually what happens is we come down to do you see how much that costs? How, how are you going to pay for that? What's in your allowance? But there's a greater issue that's escaping us here and that is one of influence. And we need to have conversations about discipling our kids. Who is discipling our kids? About their parents, their identity, their friendships, what they need to believe. So what do we do about it? How do we respond? Well, we start with conversation, not content. Condemnation. We ask, hey, what accounts do you follow? What products are you seeing over and over? Show them. If you're on social media, show them your feed. I, promise you your algorithm is going to be way, way, way different than theirs. What makes you want to try it? What makes you want to follow somebody? If you look on the for you page, what makes you want to follow somebody on there? Do you think you actually need it or just feels like you should have it? It's just impulsive. And how does watching their content make you feel about your yourself? And what are, what are they trying to make you believe? Like, how do you feel after you engage with them? So we don't start with, you don't need with, you don't need that. You don't need that. That's dumb. Nobody else is using that. I'm not getting that for you. You don't need it. Start with, hey, tell me what you're seeing. Tell me why it's so compelling. And that keeps a relationship open. We need to teach our kids media literacy. Recognizing who is trying to influence me. What are they trying to sell to me? What are they trying to make me feel.
Teaching Media Literacy, Countering the 'More is Better' Mindset, and Modeling Healthy Consumption
Feel so that I'll buy something? What do they want me to read about my, believe about myself? That is really important. And we, we see so much the more is better mindset. And if you believe that, well, just listen to the declutter diary series I've done with Kathi Lipp, who we have talked about that. The fact that that is not the case. But the heart of the issue is identity. Are. Are, we need to make sure our kids know who they are are and whose they are. In Christ, man may look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. That's from 1st Samuel 16, 7. And we praise the Lord because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We need to be giving our kids these kinds of messages and modeling healthy consumption as parents. Children notice when their parents say, you are beautiful just the way God made you. You are so. You are so beautiful. We, we can. You are so special. You are so precious. You are just so cherished and so loved. Our kids may roll their eyes, but they tuck those messages away in their heart. And as parents, we need to practice the pause before we purchase and make sure that just having a little rule, like 24 hours, like it's just going to sit in my cart for 24 hours before I decide, do I really need that, you know, organization thing for a thing I don't really have and will never use. That is really important. So we don't want to raise kids who are afraid of the world, but kids who know how to navigate it. I want to make sure I have time to tell you about one more headline that caught my eye, about friendship.
The Wellness Darty Trend: Gen Z's Health-Conscious Socialization and Shift Away from Traditional Parties
And we see it changing with Gen Z. Gen Alpha. Gen Z are older teenagers now, young adults. Gen Alpha are just now coming up to that 15, 16 year age and they are changing the way that they are getting together together. And one of the trends that I saw this week caught my eye. It's called a, wellness Darty. Have you ever heard of this before? Darty? Like party with a D. Okay, D, A, R, T, Y. And when we used to see how parties were in the past, Gen Z is actually remarkably health conscious. So this is a wellness party. So this is a, A, wellness party. That is a darty because it's during the day. So that's why they're calling it a wellness darty because it's a day party. Okay. It's not at nighttime because you know, we know about the importance of sleep now, which is a great thing. But in this party, if you walk in, you're going to see yoga mats or running shoes or cold plunges. Like maybe we're going to rent a cold plunge tank and that's what everybody's going to have. We're to going to have healthy coffee if there is such a thing. And matcha or groups of people who are working out together who are doing yoga. It's a wellness dy short for daytime party. And this actually really made me laugh. There's some good things about this. It's kind of like the hot girl walk that took over. It was just like, you know, girls with self confidence and going out to walk with their friends and, and you would, you know, either listen to a podcast that would that would edify you, you or you would talk with, with your friends. There's some good things in some of these. So instead of what we saw, and that's portrayed in a lot of popular movie culture which was mostly beer pong or drinking and partying and then having a horrible recovery, really kids are wanting to socialize and recover and connect. And so one of the stories that I saw came out of the Uni University of Florida actually where they have a wellness community called Peak Pulse. And this draws hundreds of students to events that have group group runs and cold plunges and all of these things. But I've seen it at other universities. Florida State, Miami, Syracuse, Alabama.
Gen Z's Desire for Community, Belonging, and Meaningful Experiences Over Materialism
These are just some of the ones that I saw that are jumping on this trend. And so it's socialization but also with wellness activities. And so that is really interesting because what kids are longing for, why this is so popular is because kids want community. They are made by God to live in community. And sometimes, especially in a post Covid era where they were restricted from socializing with each other, they want to socialize but they can feel really anxious about it, about those in person gatherings. So having this healthy thing that they can get around is really it's really exciting. We also see Gen Z having a much lower rate of drinking. Their alcohol consumption is much lower than in gen generations past, which is a good thing. And we see this changing, this demand, this lack of demand kind of changing in industries to where young people want experiences more than they want food or beverage necessarily. And so that is something that can be a good thing. And so we see all of these kind of influencer culture converging. We have the morning routine content, we have the get ready with me. We have wellness and influencers, fitness cultures. And now meeting this socialization opportunity. And so that is important. They're not just looking for fitness, they're looking for belonging. And that's important. They're looking for belonging and friendship, to share experiences, to share a sense of purpose and community and identity. Something to look forward to. So that's exciting.
Bridging the Digital Divide: Offering Real Connection and Intentional Relationships to Young Adults
Rather than just watching something together. Yeah, sure. Go running together, go serving somewhere together, doing something difficult together. Share that experience. And it really connects beautifully with a larger conversation about friendship. Because young adults today have grown up in an increasingly digital environment, and they may have hundreds of followers or constant digital connection, but they still experience profound loneliness. And you have the opportunity to do something really amazing in their life. You can show up, you can give them the gift of your face. You can listen without any distraction. You can invite them into your life to get ready with me.
Teaching Children About Healthy Community, Discernment, and Choosing Influences Wisely
You can invite them to work on something together. You can encourage them. You can show up when things are good and when things are hard. That is a beautiful point of relational health. And that is something that I am definitely encouraged to see. And so teach your children that community is healthy. It is God given. Recognize that what they think is so important in this time, it is so important to this time, they'll gain perspective. Teach your kids to ask questions and to discern the world around them and to intentionally choose who or, what is influencing them. And as you do, I pray, as I always do the that the Lord will bless you with immensely rich friendships and that he will keep you and make his face to shine upon you, and he will give you peace in those relationships and joy. Have a great weekend. I'll see you Monday.
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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
In this episode, Dr. Jessica Peck explores the complexities of modern friendship in a digital age. She discusses the importance of being a good friend and how to navigate the challenges of loneliness, social media influence, and the evolving dynamics of relationships among children and teenagers.
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