Jeff Chamblee: Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of the day. At my favorite time of the year, it is Christmas time. And it is official now. We are all on the same page. There is nobody who is going to. Say, please don't play Christmas music today. Because I haven't put up my tree. And maybe you haven't put up your tree, but we are officially past Thanksgiving. And as we're coming past Thanksgiving and we were around family and friends, they did sharing is caring. And I did get some shared germs. So if you hear my voice, sound a little different or if I. Am having a little cough, just please bear with me and have some grace. But nothing is going to dampen my Christmas spirit because my favorite, one of my favorite guest and one of your. Favorites too, I know because you tell me is back. Today we have Kathi Lipp, who has just been such a delight this year in hosting helping me co host the Declutter Diaries. And I'm delighted to share with you that she has agreed to join us again in 2026. Now, this is because my decluttering journey apparently takes more than a year to. Get over and to get through. I am just now starting to learn that. But Kathi, I look back at 2025 and I can see some real differences that you have made in my life. And I want to share an update from last time and then we'll talk about decluttering Christmas. That's what we're going to talk about today. But Kathi, the last time you, were on the show, my husband came home from, ah, work. And, he was like, pretending like he was on the phone, but I didn't know that he was pretending to be on the phone. I thought he was really on the phone and he usually doesn't have a phone call. I might have told you this. And he was like, yeah, hold on a second. He's like, okay. All right. And it was this really serious conversation and usually it's work at work. And I said, what's going on? He's like, oh, yeah, Kathi, you said. You said five things. Is that right? Okay, I just want to confirm it's five things. Kathi, he was pretending to be on the phone with you and confirm and. Remind that I has promised to do. Five things for Black Friday. And Kathi, I'm here to tell you partially because I was smitten with a. Respiratory virus, which may have been the Lord's way of protecting me. I held to that. Five things on Black Friday shopping. So yay. You can be so proud of me.
Kathi Lipp: I, I am so proud of you because let's just say I, I want people to understand. And Jessica, I want you to understand that there are million and in some cases, billion dollar corporations that are working overtime to separate us from our money, to get us to bring stuff into our house to convince us your life won't be complete without blank. And, can I tell you, even with has having a respiratory illness, you still had to use some self control to not bring all that in. And I want everybody to hear me, like, if you get the lowest price on something on, I was about to say good Friday. Oh, my goodness. I need to do some spiritual recovery. Jessica. On Black Friday.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Grace, please know where my grace abounds. Grace abounds.
Kathi Lipp: Yes, I want you to get that deal. But can I tell you a video I saw from, a creator who. She does those little villages, you know, where you paint the village, and she does them at Michael's. I'm sorry, I'm going to call out, but everybody does this. It's not just Michaels. And she knows how much those are. And so she got a 40% off coupon because that's what Michaels does. But what they had done is before Black Friday, they had raised the price. So even with her Black Friday coupon, they were more expensive than if she had bought them on regular, on regular price the rest of the year. And so there's so much psychology that goes into getting us to buy and getting us to buy for more. And, I just want to say good job, soldier. Like that. You did not go. You know, you didn't. You had to resist. And it takes effort to resist. And when we're tired or maybe hungry or emotional, it's so hard to resist those things. And all of, all of the holidays is pointed to making us tired, emotional, thinking about food. And so for you to do that, you get two gold stars.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I will take them. I will take all of the gold stars. Because, Kathi, as I've been sharing for a year, this is something that I struggle with for a variety of reasons. I know that I'm not alone. I know that there are so many out there listening that this has resonated with. And, you know, over Thanksgiving, we went out to the middle of nowhere to see some family, and we stayed in this very old house that was Very simple. And I just found myself just really relishing in the fact that there was no junk there. There was no decision that I had. To make about moving a pile of thing. And as I even just went through that house for the week, I was really convicted and thinking about how many things I hold on to that I just don't need. Kathi and that you're. You talked about the psychology of marking marketing. I've learned so much this about the psychology of clutter and how it not only clutters our homes, it clutters our hearts, it clutters our relationships, and it certainly clutters our Christmas. And so I just want to thank you for all that you've done to walk us through this year. And I can't wait. We have a great plan for 2026 and I can't wait to continue this journey and continue learning.
Let's talk about pre deciding peace ahead of Christmas
So let's bring it down to Christmas because we do. We've been talking about, you know, preparing and now we're here.
Kathi Lipp: Right.
Dr. Jessica Peck: So let's talk. Yes. Let's talk about pre deciding peace. Because pre deciding is one of those things that I have learned from you this year. Pre deciding. So how do you pre decide peace? And what does it have to do with clutter?
Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So here's one thing that I have observed from many years of putting on family meals, etc. Etc. And you know, as a reminder, I know you and Stephanie know this, your producer, but, some of the audience may not know. I, I have long Covid and so my energy is, you know, I've got about three good hours of energy on super exceptional days. 6. But I'm, I'm working at not full capacity. And we did some things differently. Now here's what I would not suggest. Go, don't go. Go get long Covid so you can get out of your normal traditions. This is not my recommendation, however. my husband had basically a family meeting with people by text and said it can't look the same this year. And by the way, you don't have to explain why it doesn't have to look the same this year. Right. You know, we can, we can cut. We can just say, hey, it needs to. One of the things we're telling our kids this Christmas, they haven't heard this yet. So if they're listening, here's your heads up. Hey, we are going to dial back gift giving in 2026 because the best gift we can give you is not having to come live with you because we spent all our money. How about we don't do that. How about we just keep it simple on the gift? And by the way, they have their own expenses, that kind of thing. We don't need to be going crazy. So that's one way we're keeping it clutter free. Another thing I just learned this Thanksgiving, I've kind of been coming to this real, our 30 somethings. And maybe you're a 30 something. Who's listening? And this is something you could talk about with your parents. they want to sleep in the morning. Like, we don't have grandkids. Nobody's getting anybody up at 6 o'. Clock. Now we get up at 6 o'. Clock. But why am I making three big meals for people? So we're doing a couple of different things this time. What we did is we did brunch and then dinner. I think what we're doing next time is a 10 o' clock something, and then at 3 o' clock we're doing dinner because I just don't have energy late into the night. So, you don't need to be making 75 dishes. And that is going to cut down on your costs and on your clutter. Ah. Because refrigerators get cluttered. And if anybody has done played Tetris with their refrigerator, they know. Right? And so we want to be able to say, we are clearing out the clutter when it comes to, overdoing, over buying, over preparing, we are not buying new decor, any new Christmas decorations this year. it's. I like our old Christmas decor and I don't need to constantly be refreshing it with a, a new towel or a new pillow or a new anything. We, can keep it simple. And one of the things that we did now we, we do have an advantage that 99.9% of people don't have. we live in a forest of Christmas trees. So we, we have multiple Christmas trees in our life. And so instead of buying more decorations for them, I just got out our Christmas wrapping paper and I'm making paper chains. And there is just something sweet and something lovely about creating paper chains that we are just going to recycle when we're done. And there's no cost involved in it. I buy my Christmas wrap at Costco, so, you know, I've bought it until the next millennium hits. And we don't need all of that stuff. So what do you already have?
We are creative and resourceful, but we also have a scarcity mentality
What I know about cluttery people, Jessica. And I know you fall into this. I know that Stephanie falls into this. I know our Listeners fall into this. We are creative and resourceful, but we also have a scarcity mentality. What? And one of the overriding thoughts that we have in our brain and tell me if I'm right on this or not. Jessica, what if it's not enough?
Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, absolutely right.
Kathi Lipp: What if my kids feel left out? What if there isn't enough food? What if there isn't enough of me to go around? What if there isn't enough decor? And so I really want to encourage you, Jessica, and our listeners to lean into your creativity, because we were just talking about we. Jessica, you and I are smart people surrounded by smart people, right?
Dr. Jessica Peck: We are.
Kathi Lipp: Yeah. And so we don't have to rely on buying things. There are things that could be made. There are things. And if nobody's starving at my house, that is not, not something that is ever going to happen. So even if I was like, oh, we need to add something to this meal we have here, we could add. We. We are creative, we are resourceful, and nobody has ever left our house thinking it's not enough. But I bet there have been a couple of times when it's like, oh, that was too much, too much stuff, too much, food, too much everything. And so what do we do that's different this year?
Dr. Jessica Peck: That is so encouraging to hear. And I have thought that so many times. I do have a scarcity mentality, partly because I lived with my grandparents who lived through the Great Depression, and so I, I saw that mod. And partly because I often did not have enough of what I needed in when I was growing up, whether it was enough of the right clothes that I needed to wear or money to pay for things that I needed. Anything. And I think that even now, I think, what if there's not enough chairs for people to sit in? What if there's not? I mean, right, you can go on and on and on about not being enough, but that is really convicting to think about. I definitely have thought many times, okay, that is too much. And Kathi, you bring up a great point, because that's another thing that I've learned that's a major takeaway that I've had from this year, is that I am creative. And, And I could not have said this before having coaching, but I can say now I am creative and resourceful enough that if I need something, I can find a way to get it. And I don't need to hold on to this, you know, you know, jellyfish hat that I wore once for a camp that was. Had a Ocean themed day 17 years ago because, you know, one day we. Might have another ocean themed something that. I would wear that for. I can let that go and I. Can trust myself to be creative and resourceful enough. And actually on Friday, this Friday, I'm going to preview some gifts especially for teenagers, although many of them would work for all ages that are creative and that cost little or nothing and don't have clutter. And one of those things that's on my list to share with the listeners on Friday. You gave a great preview, Kathi. It's like we planned. This is a coupon to let people sleep in with no guilt. Say you can sleep in as long as you want. This is your sleep in day. You could even give them those for once a month. You could give them four for next year and just say hey the night before. Just say hey, this is my sleep in day. I'm not, you're not going to wake up. As my kids say, I'll blast praise music and say it's chore time. Let's all work together. That didn't go over so well, Kathi. So having a night to sleep in would be so great. When we come back, we're going to talk some more about boundaries to keep clutter out of your life and how they are not a limitation. They are not something negative. They are an act of love. And Kathi's going to teach us about, yes, zones and no. For now, zones don't go away. We'll be right back.
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Ring Them Bells by Ben Fuller and Jonathan Traylor: Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells all seem to say Christmas is here Bringing good cheer, filling the air Gather round far and wide Every nation, tongue and tribe Hear the call Lift your eyes hear 'em ringin' Hear 'em ringin' Glory, glory in the highest make way for the Messiah the king has arrived so fear not the bells ring out. The story that Jesus is restoring The dead back to life. Are you ringing? Oh, ring them bells.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Ring Them Bells by Ben. Fuller and Jonathan Traylor. I don't know how to say that without saying sounding like a native Texan, ring them bells. I really want to draw that out, but it's a fun song and a. Fun season on a fun show.
We're talking about boundaries that we put up during Christmas
We're talking today to Kathi Lipp in. Our 12th ish episode of the Declutter Diaries. She's been on about once a month for the last year. And I was sharing with Kathi that I have learned so much over the last year in my own personal decluttering. I am one of those cluttery people. I am, I confess, if you think, you know, oh, everything looks perfect. Oh, no, no, no, no. I struggle with clutter. And my husband is so happy that I have found Kathi. And I've learned things like I don't. Need big project days. I just need discipline to have 15 minutes every day to work on it. I've learned how to pre decide things. I've learned that I'm creative and innovative and resourceful enough that I can find something that I need. I don't need to hang on to everything. And today we're talking about decluttering Christmas. We're really continuing our talk from last time. And Kathi and I have been talking about boundaries that we put up during Christmas. Now, this is one of those things, you think, what does that have to do with clutter? But the truth is that boundaries have become one of the most misunderstood spiritual disciplines of our time because especially during the holidays, the idea of saying no, or we're going to change things, we're going to have less, we're going to scale down, it feels somehow unkind, maybe even unchristian, which is theologically problematic to say the least. Or we're just withholding generosity where the joy dampeners, you know, we're just the fun killers. But in reality, healthy boundaries are holy. They really are. They create space and room for peace and presence and purpose to thrive. Now, according to LifeWay research, 65% of Christians say the holidays feel more stressful than sacred. And nearly half admit they struggle to focus on the birth of Christ amid all of the chaos, the activities, many of which are good, but we're moving faster, we're buying more, we're collecting more, and we're connecting less. And we're crowding out that very stillness that allows us to hear from God. And so, Kathi, you and I were talking during the break. Just about how many times you hear your kids say, mom, you don't need that. Oh, that. When you said that to me during the break, that was just like an arrow through my heart because I can see myself scrolling on my phone. Oh, look at this, mom, you don't need that. Talk to. I. I hope that there are other people out there who feel that, as Stephanie told us during the break, toe stepping as much as we do. What do we do about that? Talk to that mom. Me. what do you do when your kids speak into your life like that?
Kathi Lipp: Yeah, so I invite them into the process. So if my kids, you know, they would have had a lot more to talk about many years ago. But we do have a big home. We live in the middle of nowhere. And so. And we had retreats here, and it's a big house, and I've tried not to fill up every little corner of it, but it can be very easy and tempting to do. So if you have kids or maybe you've got cousins or other people in your family who are like, I, you have too much stuff. Because I guarantee you what they're telling you is, mom, you're not dealing with your stuff. And so when the time comes that you need to move or maybe you need to go into assisted living or maybe, you know, even when you pass, we hate to think about those things. But as somebody who's lost a parent, it can happen to any of us at any time. what do we do with all this stuff? There, There is a fear there, and there's also a little bit of resentment of, like, you're not dealing with your stuff. So I'm going to have to. So if those are your kids, invite them into the Christmas process. What should we, what should we do to lessen the amount of stuff at Christmas? Do we do a Yankee swap? Do we. Do, you know, we're only buying, three gifts for each child? Or maybe your kids say, we don't need anything. You can buy for the grandkids. Let's have a discussion about it. But we don't need you to buy for everyone. And so there are different ways of talking about this to say, how do we make this less chaotic? And when you feel that need to buy the new. Like I, I did buy a new, tablecloth for Thanksgiving this year. That's because wax dripped on mine and it turned into a different color and it no longer made me happy. So now I put plates under my candles and, I got a new one, but I got rid of the other one. Instead of thinking, well, I could get the stain out, I could. No, we're, we're done with that. We're just gonna move into, hey, let's make, let's, let's. We're not, we're replacing, we're not adding on to.
Are there some practical Christmas gifts you can do?
And so the other thing is to talk about, are there some really practical Christmas gifts you can do? You know, you were talking about your clutter free thing that you're doing on Friday where I will definitely be listening in. We, My, my husband exchanged with all the guys. They did like gifts that were less than $5. And he did headlamps for all the guys, plus my mom, because I did earrings for all the girls. My mom doesn't have holes anymore. Headlamps, like, just turn it on. It was, I think they were $6 each. Everybody talks about how much they use those headlamps. And so that's not clutter when, you know, it's something that they are going to use over and over again. So be thinking about that. Invite them into the process. How do we want this to look different? Because if they say, well, mom, we want you to buy the same amount of gifts, but we want a less cluttered Christmas, then we're going to have to align values, friends. And we want to make sure that everybody gets to participate in, gets their input in there so it's valued.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, when you were saying, you know that your kids look at you and they say, oh, if you don't deal with your stuff, I'm gonna have to deal with it. My kids, I think one of the other things that they communicate to me is, mom, you're so distracted by your clutter. You can't spend time with me because you're thinking about, you know, I'm trying to sit and talk to you on the couch, but you're looking at that pile of papers on the counter and it's bothering you because you know you have to go through it or, you know, you know you're going to have. To do something with it. And it's just constantly. It's not just cluttering my home and it's cluttering my mind because I'm thinking about it and what am I going to do about it and all of those kinds of things. And it is so hard, Kathi, because I know that, you know, we're living in an economy right now that's really hard, and there's a lot of families who are really struggling. And I remember, you know, I've been through those Christmases. My husband and I have been through those Christmases that were very lean and money was extremely tight. And so then you're, you're tempted just to still, you still want to buy more, so you just buy cheaper, and then it's just more junk. It's so hard. And I, I think when, when we're talking about boundaries because, you don't want to say, like, oh, money is tight. Why don't we just have these honest conversations and see these boundaries as an act of love, not a limitation, not a scrooginess, you know, not a, oh, I'm being stingy or I'm being greedy or, oh, I'm, you know, putting all of my stuff on display. You know, here's, here's all of our dirty laundry, by the way. We can't afford this. Why can't we just be honest about those limitations that we have?
Kathi Lipp: I, I think that at, for me, for a long time, you know, I was a single mom for a long time, and, to. You want your kids to have everything that everybody else has. But here's what I have learned. I want my kids to have everything that other people also want, like integrity. I want them to have compassion. you know, as, as, you know, our resources change, right? And for a long time, there wasn't a lot of money. And now that there is money, can I tell you, the last thing I want to spend it on is a gift that my kids couldn't care less about. I do want to buy them something that they really want, and that's why I ask for the list. And we're, we're getting everybody something that they really want, and then we're getting everybody something that we think that they would like. And then I went in with my mom. She's a, a sewer. And we're making everybody something that they enjoy. And sometimes it just. We need to have those boundaries and parameters for ourselves. But here's the thing, Jessica. As I get a little bit more money, it's not the, the, my kids need it. I want to go to. We have a place here called Upper Room that serves about 150 meals to families every single day. I want to be a part of that. That's where I want to spend my time and my money and my energy and my kids have what they need, and of course, I want to delight them. But when I know that there are so many people who don't have the basic necessity. you know, this is m. This organization is mostly for. For unhoused people. But at Thanksgiving, there were a lot of kids there, too. There were a lot of kids who, you know, their families just couldn't afford to put on a Thanksgiving dinner. I don't want to be redundant in my giving to my family and friends who have what they need when there are so many who don't. And so to think about it like that gives me better boundaries.
Dr. Jessica Peck: That is really helpful to think about it that way.
So tell us about this yes zone and no for now zone concept
So tell us about this yes zone and no for now zone concept that can help us reframe our thinking in that way. Yeah.
Kathi Lipp: So this is very simple. And you can do this just for your own way of thinking or maybe share with your family. there are. There are so many things that our. Our kids have bought us to. Bought us in the past, or so many things that, you know, when we've taken that trip through Marshalls or, you know, where. Wherever it is. Yeah, that. Fate. You know, target or where. Or scrolling on Amazon. Let's talk about that. And it's like, oh, that's so. Okay, Jessica's covering her face. not, I'm sorry. Toes are bleeding everywhere.
Dr. Jessica Peck: This is painful. Okay, I'm strapping in. This is tough. Go ahead.
Kathi Lipp: Okay, go ahead. But things that we've bought in the past that we've enjoyed, and it's like, well, if I liked it before, I'm going to like it again. And so, you know, maybe you've. You've bought a lot of candles or maybe, cute mugs or something along those lines. maybe it is time for a no for now zone. That doesn't mean now no forever, but it's no for now. I don't need mugs or candles or decor. I don't need any novelty kitchen gadgets. I, don't need any fast fashion right now. you know, for parents and grandparents, maybe nothing with 700 pieces. Just a thought. Just a thought. Right. So, you know, no for now. But some yes zone things is, you know, instead, I would. So I'll just give you an example. My mom said I don't need anything. I don't want the kids to spend money on anything because we just found out my daughter's car that she still owed money on is now a very big paperweight. And so, you know, it's just. She's upside down. It's terrible. Right? She doesn't need to be spending money on, she doesn't. Her grandmother doesn't want her spending money on her. Her. And, I said, mom, they are all going to want to get you something, so you're going to need to come up with something that you want. So they. And, ah, I. She said, all I need right now are shoes. I said, great, they can all chip in to get you a $100Amazon card so that you can get those shoes. Like, that's a need she has. And of course, we're going to fill in with some things she didn't know she needed, but we're going to. That are going to make her life easy. But to be able to say that's what. That would be a yes zone. books for kids. that. That's always been a yes zone for me. Right. And so what I've done when my kids were little is I gave my mom a list of the books that my kids already had. And I said, you know, and here are the. Here's some parameters that you might want to look at when you go shopping. something that, to say to your kids, hey, we would really love consumables this year. Now those consumables could be our kids. One time did a cheese of the month club for us, which was so wonderful and so fantastic. We loved it. one time they bought a goat for us for. Through.
Dr. Jessica Peck: They bought you an actual goat. Like a. Like a, you know, live furry goat.
Kathi Lipp: For compassion International families.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I was gonna say. Yeah, I know you're living out in the middle of nowhere, but this. That. That would be very entertaining. That's beautiful. That's a beautiful gift.
Kathi Lipp: Isn't that wonderful? And Jessica, here's what I love that they did. Not only did they do that, but then they watched videos on YouTube on how to. You know, when you go on a cruise and they fold your towels into animals?
Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah.
Kathi Lipp: They folded that towel into a goat.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, how fun, right?
Kathi Lipp: It was a dish towel with a goat on it that they folded into a goat so that I would have, you know, I had something there. But the real gift was helping a family with their business.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, I'm sorry.
Kathi Lipp: It was Samaritan's purse. Not compassionate.
Dr. Jessica Peck: But they. I think they both do similar things. But, you know, it is. I. I can see Everywhere on Christmas morning, all of these people saying, hey, for Christmas, we got you a goat. Let me explain. That would be hysterical. And such a great way to help families in need. Listen, we've got much more coming up with Kathi Lipp When we come back, we'll talk about what if you feel like you are already over, you're over committed, you're over cluttered. Is there hope for you? Yes, there is. And we'll explore it on the other. Side of this break. Here's Dr. Ben Witherington from the American Family Studios documentary the God who Speaks.
Dr. Ben Witherington: When we say the scriptures are inspired, we are saying that God and God's trust stands behind all of it, whether it involved a sort of literal dictation or as in the case of somebody like Luke, he did homework. He did research. He says, I've studied this for a long time. I've consulted the eyewitnesses and the original preachers of the Word. See, inspiration is not against research because God's providence is guiding what Luke is doing. It's part of a larger process Inspiration doesn't mean a particular mechanism of how the sacred text is produced. What it means is that God is guiding the whole thing so that the truth is preserved. In the end process, however it became a text.
Jeff Chamblee: Visit thegodwhospeaks.org.
Christ Is Born (Happy Birthday) by Evan Craft: One, two. Playing in the snow? It's my favorite time of year? Hot cocoa and I'm smiling ear to ear? Cause I know it's almost Christmas day? Got a party on the way. Hey. What a beautiful season? To celebrate Jesus with family and friends by the fire? The sleigh bells are ringing? And carols were singing? It's the most wonderful time of the year. Yeah. Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad Joy to the world. Peace on earth. Jingle all the way. Christ is born. Happy birthday. Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad God is with us. Peace on earth. Jingle all the way. Christ is born. Happy birthday.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is Christ is born. Happy birthday by Evan Craft. And, I'm thinking of those happy birthday Jesus parties. Is anybody else old enough to remember Christmas in August? Did anybody else do that? We had a happy birthday party for Jesus. This did not help my love for Christmas all throughout the year. But we are in the Christmas season, friends. And today, our prescription for hope is how do we declutter our Christmas? We have been working with Kathi Lipp's for the last year. Over the last year, she's been joining us since January to declutter our hearts and our homes, our families, our relationships. Today we're talking about decluttering Christmas because it's not just the physical clutter of the gifts. It is the emotional clutter. It is the scheduling clutter. It is so much invisible weight. It's financial worry. It's guilt over what you can't provide, what you can't measure up to, what your family or friends, the standard of Christmas that they're having, or resentment towards family dynamics that just feel draining. And when those boundaries go unchecked, the cost isn't just burnout. It is spiritual erosion. But the gospel is offering you a, different rhythm, some restraint that leads to rest. And Paul writes, let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything. And we know the rest of that verse. But by prayer and with supplication and thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. And Kathi has been talking to us this time and on the last show about a joy budget, having an approach that budgets your joy thinking. Okay, I'm going to pre decide what matters most so that every yes is intentional. You create those yes zones for life giving, spending, and no for now, zones for those things that are just distracting us and we're freeing ourselves from chaos. It's not about depriving ourselves of things. It's about directing our intention towards specific things. And for families, these pre decisions, honestly, they become lifelines. They reduce conflict, they protect marriages, they restore trust. When you set clear expectations, whether it's financial, whether it's emotional, whether it's relational, whether it is space and time, it's calendar. You're removing confusion and decreasing resentment. And the holiday becomes less about perfection and more about connection, which is what we really want. So, Kathi, let's talk to those people who feel like, okay, well, I'm already overwhelmed. I've already overspent. I blew it on Black Friday. I'm over committed. My schedule looks awful, and I don't see any way out of it. I don't think I can reset like this. Christmas is just pretty much like, maybe next Christmas. What can they do to reclaim some of that peace and. And clean up some of that clutter?
Kathi Lipp: Oh, sorry I stepped on you there. We have 24 days, until Christmas. And, and, you know, yes, maybe some things are already scheduled. You know, there was. We all set records this year of spending on Black Friday. We set records. Now, here's the good news. You don't have to keep all that stuff. Something cluttery people are not great about is returning things. And I need you to be excellent returners. And by the way, it's going to go much faster if you return it before Christmas than after. because we've all stood in those lines, right? So I want you to think about. And it's also not too late to cancel on some things. just because it's a Christmas party you're invited to doesn't mean you need to go to it. Now, if it's going to bring you joy, if it's going to bring you excitement, then, yes, go. I'm also going to say something that's going to sound sacrilege, but I'm gonna say it. Okay, friends, we don't need to show up for every volunteer duty. That is. Yes, I have been part of a large church before, and you know, my husband has served on, the production side of church. And I'll tell you, we have some regrets about how much time he spent at church to put on a flashy Christmas production. we've never regretted serving the poor, going to a retirement home to be with those lovely. Those things we've never regretted. And so I just want you to take, ah, an inventory of, of how do I serve God, how do I serve others, and how do I connect with my family? And if you put one in each bucket of that category, that could be plenty. And so one thing that's never missed for us, we plan a night with my mom, who doesn't drive at night, and we go and look at Christmas lights. So we stop. We start off. We, we talked about H E B which is, you know, oh, we. Maybe we didn't talk about it on the show. Maybe we talked about in between. But you're very proud of HB in your community. We, we are in and out proud. We, we are in and out, you know, stands. And so we get in and out and then we go look at Christmas lights for a while and then we go to Dutch Brothers and we get a, A festive coffee and we watch other lights and it's perfect. And, it's the one thing around Christmas time besides going to church that I would never miss. And so put in your musts. And then all those things that are like, might be. Decide if that's really important to your husband, then find a way to do it. But if it's not so important to him and it's not so important to you, or if things that aren't important to you, can he go by himself? You know, like, these are all different things that we, as adults get to decide.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, you did step on my toes there, Kathi, about the bad returner. Oh, I don't feel like we've talked about that yet, but I am a really bad returner, and it's decision paralysis a lot of times. So I hold onto it. I can't decide do I want to keep it or do I not? Like, you know, will I use it or will I not? I don't know. Maybe I will use it. I'll just hold onto it. Oops, the return window has passed. You know what? I'm not going to use it now. What do I do with it? Because now it's just sitting here. It's fine. But, like, I'm not using it. So do I try to sell it? Like, I don't want to get rid of it. It's perfectly good. Oh, I. I actually have a. Curtain that's on my dining room table right now that has probably been there for six weeks because I bought it, it didn't match. I missed the return window. Now I'm stuck with it. I don't know what to do with it. It's, so true. So, actually, it's funny, Kathi. My husband is actually a very good returner. So if I tell him, hey, I don't want this. I'm going to return it. He's going to go as. As fast as he can to take that back to the store, to get. The clutter out of our house and to get the money back in our account. So he has helped me in that way. He's like, I will return anything you want to return. And that has been actually really helpful to me.
Kathi Lipp: Jessica. We should all lean into our special skills. And he has a very particular set of skills. Yes. Lean on it. And here's the thing. If. Especially if you bought something from Amazon or Target, if you return it and then you decide, you know what, I actually wanted it, you can go buy it again. But here's the thing. You're not going to, give yourself more options, not less. And so I. I'm. You know, maybe it's because I only go into town once a week. So if I get that item. We were. We were shopping for an electric blanket, ordered it on Amazon because it came up in the search of electric blankets. Turns out it was an electric blanket. I didn't read the description closely enough. you know, we got that on Friday when we went to Mom's house to pick it up. We returned it the same day. Like, no, Because I, I don't need a large corporation stealing money out of my pocket. And I, I want that money to make other decisions with. And I don't. You know, we work hard for our money. We work really hard. And so we need to keep as much of that possibly can. And I always think about this. If, if, if I return it, I can either buy something fun or I can give that money to somebody who needs it. These, these are great options. So I would rather have something fun that I want than, you know, like I said not to call you out, but a curtain that isn't quite the right color that I don't want.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Ouch. It's very, very true.
Jessica: One of the things people should pre decide is what they're giving
And when we're talking about pre deciding, Kathi, one of the things that I want to encourage people to pre decide right now is how they'll frame what they're giving. Because so many times when we feel like we scale back or we just don't quite measure up to that other person, whether it's we feel like our house is not as nice as, you know, magazine ready, or we don't have as many gifts or as expensive a gifts or whatever it is. I know, like, for our kids, we often will frame it that way. Like we'll, we'll try to minimize their expectations. So we start saying, okay, well, you know, Christmas is going to be less this year, like, lower your expectations. We know I can't do that. Well, you know, money doesn't grow on trees and we start this really negative spiral. And honestly, Kathi, from my perspective now, I'll put on my pediatric nurse hat. That's a lot of weight for kids to bear, that emotional burden of the financial lack. And we have such an opportunity to, to change the narrative on that. It's not about spin unless we're spinning our hearts to be in the right direction and to be positioned, towards the Lord and our motivation. What would you, what advice do you give to people about just framing that? What do you think about that?
Kathi Lipp: Yeah. You know how I said we love giving to upper room? I think kids can understand that there are other people who don't have what their family has. And Jessica, you know, I, I was in that position as a single mom. My kids remember what that was like. It's awful. And we never. Yeah. Was. It was so hard to say, you know, sometimes other people can't have wants, but sometimes they don't have needs. Needs. And so we're going to really concentrate. You're going to get some wants because we love you and we're in a position to do that. But we're going to make sure that some other kids get their wants and needs this year. We're going to make sure, you know, they have angel tree for the elderly. And it's like what, what a gift to be able to say you get a comfy robe and some slippers and a book you want, you know, for people who maybe don't get a lot. That $20 that you are spending on that pair of slippers goes a lot further with that elderly person than it does with our own kids. And that doesn't mean we take anything away from our kids, but our, most of our kids have enough. And so to be able to say we're, we, we want to expand the people that we're loving and that Christ has called us to love very practically, very tangibly. And it's not a guilt thing, it's a, we have so much abundance that this is what we get to do.
Dr. Jessica Peck: I, I really appreciate that. And you know, I think about when. I was on a mission trip overseas. And I went into this church that was, just had nothing, you know, I'm talking there was only one wall on the building. The other walls were non existent and. Kind of open air and there was this hodgepodge of like plastic chairs that had come from all different places and, and music equipment that looked like, you know, some church in the United States had gotten rid of it in the 90s. You know, kind of look like that, like a giant keyboard, like the biggest keyboard I've seen in 30 years. And here are these people singing. We have so much. How could we be grateful? How could we ask for any more? And Kathi, I think it's a really great opportunity for parents or grandparents or whoever your family is to reframe your expectations around that and to say, you know, Christmas may change and what it looks like and what we're able to do, where we're able to go, what we're able to give. But the thing that never changes is Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And the story of Christmas is never going to change. And we are blessed beyond belief to be able to celebrate that in any capacity. And I think that's so important. And Kathi, I can't believe we're already at the end of our time together. But we are going to resume in 2026.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Now as people are starting to look towards the new year, tell them once more where to find you because maybe they think they missed this in this year, but 2026 is going to be the year.
Kathi Lipp: Yeah.
Dr. Jessica Peck: Invite you. Come on.
Kathi Lipp: If you go on to Facebook and you just look for clutter, Free academy. Just answer a couple of questions and Jessica, I know what a fan of Christmas to you are, so I hope I'm one of the very first people to say Merry Christmas to you. I feel like we officially get to start saying that today in a big, big way. I hope this is just a tremendous time of blessing for you and your family in your less cluttered, home.
Dr. Jessica Peck: You are the first guest on air. To say that to me in 2025. So thank you so much for Kathi. And really, the truth is, the message of Christmas has always been simple. But in our modern striving, we make it too complicated. Don't trade peace for pressure. Don't trade worship for wish lists, and don't trade community for comparison. God is giving you an invitation to return to the heart of the story, and that's Emmanuel. God with us. Maybe the most radical thing you can do is to declutter your Christmas. And remember, remember that the love of Christ is the most important thing. I pray that as you're decluttering your Christmas, the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And we'll be back right back here tomorrow with another Christmas show. See you then.
Jeff Chamblee: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.
