Transcript

Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday focuses on healthy habits and Mother's Day

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck. Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite part of the afternoon on my favorite day of, the week of the week, Monday through Friday. Because Sunday is actually my favorite day of the week. But it is fry. Yay. As my kids say, it is Friday. And whether you're working or not, or the weekend feels typical for you or not, it has a different kind of energy. And the scripture that I'm meditating on this week comes from Psalm 118:24. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. And I can't help it that it's just a little easier to rejoice in a Friday. I think it is. But we are going to talk today about two important things. It is Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday. I'll be talking about this week's healthy habit, and then I'll be answering some questions about Mother's Day. This is a great time to celebrate all of the wonderful mothers in our life. If you are a living, breathing human, you have a mother somewhere. But that journey can be really complicated with a lot of emotions. So I'll be answering some questions about how to navigate some of those scenarios.

Every week we introduce a habit for your family. And this week's healthy habit is playing together

But first, before we get to that, let's talk about this week's healthy habit. Every week we are introducing a habit for your family. 52 Habits for Healthy families. If you've missed out, go back and listen to the Doctor Nurse Mama coaching minutes or listen to any Friday show and you will get caught up on all of those things. We've talked about spiritual habits and disciplines. We have talked about rhythms for your family. We have talked about communication skills. And right now we are talking about some of those relational relationship building skills. And in the past few weeks, we've talked about modeling your faith, giving generously, especially of your time, and prioritizing your family time. And this week, we are on week 19 of 2025. I cannot even believe it. And this week's habit, I'm talking about playing together. Now, I know I say that, and probably many of you are thinking, wait, what? Playing together will hang in there with me because this is something that we all need in our family lives. And I'm talking about fun. And this week's healthy habit. It's simple. It's just soul deep, though, when we talk about playing together, I'm not talking about Dragging out a dusty board game. Although that's really fun and that's really my jam. Or watching a movie together or, you know, just, spending time together. I mean, playing with your family. I'm talking belly laughs, silly voices, made up songs, like using the kitchen sink sprayer inappropriately to spray somebody. You know, it's like having some fun, just doing something that makes us feel like we're alive, that we're connected, that joy is still possible even in hard seasons and in a world that feels just too grown up and too fast and too heavy. The honest truth is today's kids are carrying more than they were ever meant to. Gen Z, Gen Alpha, Gen Beta coming up behind them. That's the littlest ones. They're growing up in a pressure cooker of, fear and perfectionism and performance. But play, play is actually really good medicine. It is what our mental health and theirs is really crying out for. And as we walk through Mental Health Awareness Month, this month of May, we're pressing pause on productivity and just saying yes to presence through play. So again, Psalm 118:24. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Not when the to do list is done. Not when the world gets lighter today, right now.

There is a big generational gap in play among today's kids

So let's dive in and talk about why laughter matters and how you can make space for fun and why playing together might be one of the most powerful healing forces you can bring to your home from the inside out. And, and when we look at it, we look at today's kids, there is a big generational gap and we have a lost art of play. I have seen this play out as a pediatric healthcare professional. I've grown up myself as a Gen Xer and baby boomers. The greatest generation, Gen X. We grew up with neighborhood play. To play means play outside. It means no screens, and it means family time that's built into routines. One thing that past generations had that was really fantastic for imaginations and creativity and for building confidence was unstructured play. That means there's nobody telling you what to do. There's no, you know, rules. Like you're making up the rules as you go. You are having creativity, imagination. I think of the old movie Miracle on 34th street where, you know, Santa is talking about using your imagination and having, joining a pretend circus, all of those things. That is something that this generation is missing out on. They're also missing out on outdoor adventures. They need to be outside, they need sunshine, they need to be moving their bodies they're not playing that way. They're also not playing as much through board games. And board games are actually really good for cognitive and fine motor skills. Moving little pieces, having that tactile, that tactile experience where you're touching things on the board and you're playing and you're having conversation and, and family dinners. Today's generations, they play through constant digital connection, but their emotions are disconnected. They're also trying to play, but they live in a world that's dominated with news about school shootings or climate doom and gloom claims that the world is basically going to self implode. They're living in the aftermath of a terrible pandemic that left them with a social and emotional injury. They're also living in the presence of active shooter drills where we would have tornado drills, they have lockdown drills. We also have, and this is really hard. I am taking this for myself too. We over schedule them. We have academic pressure. We live in a world of performance based parenting. And how well our kids perform dictates how good of parents we are. And play doesn't really match into that. And we see a mental health epidemic, increased anxiety and depression in youth. The Surgeon general has issued multiple warnings about, about this. And we are just seeing kids that aren't playing. We're also seeing a lack of play because we live in a fear driven culture. And that performance pressure.

Fear driven parenting robs kids of what they need the most

Let me talk about this first. This adultified childhood. Have you heard this term adultified? It means that we are making kids be adults too early. When we see pressure to build resumes starting around age 10, we're thinking, okay, what are you going to do to go to college? What about the nil? What about sports? What about activities? You got to think about college, you got to think about college. We don't think about what brings you joy. And those things are important. I'm not minimizing the impact of achievements and the value of goals. I'm certainly a poster child for that. But we have to make room for joy. And we have very isolated screen heavy play. We have kids who are just playing by themselves, not interacting with another human and playing on a game or they're interacting with a digital version of someone else. And we keep saying things like don't fall behind, you gotta stand out, be productive, accomplish, think about your future. And kids aren't just designed to be that way. And parents feel that pressure. So play is like a waste of time. I know I struggled with that as a mom when my kids started to reach that middle school. Age. And I thought if I don't plan every moment like we're just sitting around doing nothing, then that's a waste of time. But it is okay. It is all right to build that into our schedule, to build time to play. It gives us rest, it gives us renewal, and has a lot of other health benefits I'll tell you about in just a second. And this adultification happens when adults, intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes we're aware, sometimes we're not. We're treating children like many adults and we're giving them too much pressure to perform. We're exposing them to too many adult conversations. We're exposing them to adult media. We're exposing them to societal fears that are too early. And we expect them in the middle of this exposure to self regulate their emotion, their emotions or have those responsibilities to navigate those situations. And they do not have the developmental capacity to do that and they know it. So it creates this feeling of anxiety. It creates chronic stress. They are internalizing the message that, hey, my worth is tied to how much productivity I have, how much I perform. And these kids are burned out and they're anxious and they're depressed and we have a loss of the play and creativity when we have those structured schedules. That essential unstructured play is so important for learning and emotional health. They also, don't feel comfortable in expressing their emotions and being a kid, they feel like they have to have an adult reaction. And without that space to practice imagination and problem solving, they really can be less resilient when they face hardship. We also have these cultural drivers, a 24, 7 news cycle, social media comparison, academic pressure and hustle culture. And all of this is happening in a context of fear driven parenting. Now, when we are driven by fear, when we're motivated by fear, when we are ruled by fear, it emphasizes, hey, you need to be afraid. You better overprotect and over prepare. And that's what happens. And we just parent, in this fear saturated culture where all of these constant headlines about danger and achievement gaps and global instability, mental health crises, drug use, they just have this low grade humming anxiety that is the soundtrack of our home. And fear says, oh, if I don't prepare my child for every possible scenario, I am failing them. But fear robs kids of what they need the most. They need presence, they need joy. And fear drives that overprotection and over scheduling. We want to keep our kids safe. Our motivation is really good. But we fill our calendars with enrichment and lessons and structure and we Just don't leave any structured time for unstructured fun. And that costs us as families. It robs us of creativity, of emotional flexibility. When fear is running the schedule and kids are absorbing that low grade hum of fear that we have, they are more than ever aware of the heaviness, the darkness of the world. And it's just no wonder that they're so anxious. Because when adults are anxious, kids internalize it and then they start to believe it's their job to fix the fear. They can manage our fear by behaving perfectly, achieving enough, whatever it is to allay our fears, to earn that stability.

When we let go of fear based parenting, we reclaim those joy filled moments

So now that I have you all upset, and I am upset, upset a little bit, let me invite you to an alternative. The opposite of fear is peace. It's confidence in God's provision for today. When we let go of that fear based parenting and we reclaim those joy filled, playful moments, we're sending our kids the message, hey, it's safe to be a kid. You are allowed to be a kid. You can delight, you can rest, you can be fully alive right now. You can be a kid. And faith is such a better foundation than fear. Fear is loud, but it's not the voice that we're meant to follow. God tells us he has not given us a spirit of fear, but a power and love and a sound mind. And if we speak those scriptures over our kids, Psalm 118, 6, the Lord is with me, I will not be afraid. That's really powerful. And while fear shrinks the world, faith makes room for trust and laughter and play and presence, even when the future is uncertain. So play and connection and wonder, it just restores what's lost. We need to give our kids space, to be kids, not performers, not fixers, not miniature adults. And we do see this in giving our kids too much too soon. We're all tempted to do it. And many of us have good motivations. We want our kids to have better than what we have. But joy and silliness and rest and unstructured play, these are developmental necessities. And the joy of the Lord is our strength because it is anchored in the very nature and character of God. God could have said so many other things are our strength, but it is the joy of the Lord that is our strength. So if your family feels weak, if you feel like you are failing, you are struggling, you can find strength in the joy of the Lord. And that joy is not a superficial emotion. This is a deep spiritual reality that is rooted in our reconciliation with God through Christ. And it is flowing from the gospel, from the finished work of Jesus to secure our identity and our future and our fellowship. This verse comes from Nehemiah 8:10 where the people were weeping as they heard the law out of curiosity conviction. But they were told, don't mourn because the joy of the Lord will be your strength, and it helps us to persevere, to foster peace, and transforms suffering into hope. It is joy in God's presence, joy in his salvation, joy in his unshakable kingdom, and a joy that endures because it is founded on the eternal.

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When we come back, I'm going to tell you why play matters, what it does matter for your kids, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And I'm going to give you some specific tips on helping your family to play. And then I'll talk about Mother's Day. I'll see you in a minute. Because of the generous donations, provided from listeners like you, PreBorn has rescued over 330,000 babies. But every day, the abortion industry is taking thousands of babies' lives. We have to save them. Please donate your best gift to save more babies at preborn.com /AFR, that's preborn.com /AFR. As we celebrate the many pro life victories going forth, we rejoice! PreBorn's Network of Clinics have a unique opportunity to advance even further without political persecution. What does this look like? PreBorn is the greatest threat to the abortion industry. By rescuing on average,  200 babies lives a day, they are putting a serious dent into abortion. But there are still thousands of babies who die daily and PreBorn's goal is to rescue them all. With the help of the prolife community, meaning you, we can save so many more. Please join us in saving all of these precious lives. The ultrasound is the game changer. Once a mother hears that precious heartbeat, she is twice as likely to choose life. If you consider yourself pro- life, we need your help. One ultrasound is just $28, five ultrasounds are $140. $5000, Sponsors ultrasounds for the entire PreBorn Network, for an entire day. How many lives can you save? Every child is a beautiful gift from God. Please join the cause! To donate securely, Please dial pound 250 and say the keyword "BABY", That's pound 250 "BABY" or visit preborn.com /AFR, that's preborn.com /AFR. PreBorn is there for hurting mothers and at risk babies, standing strong in the darkest corners of our nation. By sponsoring an ultrasound, you can be there too. One ultrasound is just $28 and doubles a baby's chance at life. Please donate your best gift to save more babies at preborn.com /AFR,  that's preborn.com/AFR. Take You At Your Word by Benjamin William Hastings and Cody Carn  es Your way is the only way for me. It's a narrow road that leads to life but I wanna be on it. It's a narrow road but the mercy's wide. Cause you're good on your promise. I'll take you at your word. If you said it, I believe it. I've seen how good it works. If you start it you'll complete it I'll take you out your word. Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That's take you at your word by Benjamin William Hastings and Cody Carnes. And it's such a good reminder that we can trust in God to help us with everything that we need to do to make our families healthy. We live in a broken, fallen world, but we can take heart and we can be of good cheer because God has overcome the world. And that's what we're talking about today. I'm reminding you of Psalm 118:24. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

When kids play, it strengthens neural connections in the prefrontal cortex

we're talking about this week's healthy habit, and that's playing with your family. Playing, having fun. I'm talking silliness. It has a, ah, great benefit mentally, emotionally and spiritually for your family. Now let's talk a little bit about cognitive and brain development. Because play actually builds the brain. When kids play, it strengthens their neural connections, especially in the area of their brain called the prefrontal cortex. Now, this is what helps kids solve problems, regulate their emotions, planning. So for those of you who are in the teenage years who think, what can I do to help develop this prefrontal cortex so they'll make better decisions? Well, actually play helps to strengthen those connections and it boosts executive function in their brain. Now that's things that are like self control, flexibility and working memory. These are key predictors of school and life success. So the ironic thing is, as we're wanting our kids to be successful in school and academic, we're putting all of this pressure on them, which actually acts negatively on their brain and makes them do worse. If we would just play and have more play, then that can decrease their anxiety, boost their executive function, boost the prefrontal cortex development and help them to do better now mentally and emotionally. Laughter reduces stress. When we laugh out loud, it actually makes us have a increased level of oxytocin, of endorphins. These are natural mood boosters and it decreases cortisol so laughing is a good stress response and more free play, unstructured play that is linked to lower anxiety and depression. And when we're seeing such an epidemic of that, it's so important.

Play improves empathy and cooperation, which are crucial for strong relationships

Now let's talk socially and relationally. Play improves empathy and cooperation because when you're playing cooperatively, when you have rules that you have to have and you're taking turns, you're learning how to negotiate, how to resolve conflict, how to understand others perspectives, these skills are all crucial for strong relationships and you can get those through playing a game together. And kids who engage in regular family play and quality time, this is research supported, they show higher levels of emotional resilience and self esteem, especially during times of stress or transition. So if your family is in a time of stress or transition, it's even more important for you to make time for play. And let's talk physical health benefits. Active play improves your physical health. If you have at least 60 minutes of play, it is going to decrease the risk of overweight, improve sleep quality, make your heart stronger, all of those things. There's so many physical health benefits. But I think what is most compelling is that it helps family connection and it helps protect kids against risk taking behavior. So family play builds bonds. when you look at some of the research that's been done on development and child play, we see something called the serve and return interactions. Serving and getting a return response like those that are found in play, those are essential for healthy attachment. Families that play together have greater relationship satisfaction and lower levels of stress even when they are in very stressful environments. So we see all of these things. Joy is not optional. It is part of living in God's goodness. And rejoice and be glad is both a command and an invitation.

Take regular play breaks in your family to shift the energy in your home

So let's talk some practical tips for how you can make time to play in your family. And you can do this at any age and stage. If you've got really little kids, hey, just have a 15 minute play break every day. If you say hey, it's time for a play break, whatever that is, whether it's a water gun fight, if it's a pillow fort, if it's a pretend kitchen or restaurant or impromptu date dance party, take regular play breaks. When that emotional energy is shifting in your home, when the tension starts to rise and you feel starting to the kids start, you starting to get irritable, a temper tantrum coming on, change the energy by injecting a play break and just totally shift it. Now if you've got school age Kids, this is a great time to have family game night. And I'm talking about not digital games, I'm talking about cards, I'm talking about dice, I'm talking about board games with moving pieces. I'm talking about make your own family game night. I know one of my, kids favorite things to do was to create an obstacle course. That's what they wanted to do. And they didn't like anything better than seeing mom try to do that. I was really terrible at it. But it was fun. It might be sidewalk talk, it might be a backyard scavenger hunt. Those are great things to do. Now if you have teens do something that ask them what they would like to do for fun, say, hey, if you could plan a family fun night, what would you do? And maybe that's watching a funny movie together, maybe that's playing a sports game together or cooking something really silly, having like an Iron Chef challenge thing. Or maybe that's inviting them to teach you a dance or a game from social media. I know, cringe, cringe, cringe, right? But kids would love that. And if you are a multi generational family or a family with no kids at home, hey, it's really important to still prioritize laughter and lightness in your family, to still have fun together with your spouse, to do things that are fun. That emotional energy is going to spill over into intergenerational play. One of my kids favorite things to do is to play charades with their grandparents. And I know they listen almost every day. So mom and dad, if you're listening, please forgive me. They're really terrible at it. But it's so funny. It's just so hilarious to see them just being silly and out of context. Storytelling is so fun. And if you're really busy, schedule fun. Make it as essential as meetings or homework. And put some unstructured time. Put a play break on your calendar. Leave room in your life for joy. So we listen. We are not created just to work or worry or perform. We were created to delight in God, to delight in the Lord. And he will give you the desires of your heart. So I challenge you to do something playful with your family this weekend. Have fun. Do something together that is fun. Tell your family this is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. So as we wrap up today's healthy habit, the healthy habit for this week, I really hope that something stirred in you. Maybe it's a memory. And when it whether your family looks like toddlers with sticky hands, or teenagers with earbuds or grown children for far away or just you and someone you love, you are never too old, too tired or too late to choose joy and to play. So I challenge you to reclaim play as a sacred rhythm. This is not just for our kids mental health. It's for our own. Because in a world that is constantly whispering, do more, be more. Hurry up. Playing says slow down. You matter. Those inside jokes, those dance offs, that laughter in the walls, that is holy ground in your house. So I encourage you to plan a game night. Splash in the puddles, tell a funny story, have a family pizza picnic on the floor. Whatever stage of life that you're in, make room for joy this week.

Mother's Day is complicated and it can stir up all kinds of emotions

And as we go into this weekend, I know there are a lot of you who feel joy. But for some, it's hard. And to when we talk about Mother's Day coming up on Sunday. And for some of us, that is a day to celebrate the incredible women who raised us, the women who are raising us now, the ones we have watched navigate motherhood with grace and grit. But for others, it's not always that simple. And Mother's Day is complicated and it can stir up all kinds of emotions, joy and sorrow, nostalgia, maybe even a little bit of a mix of it all. So for the moms out there who are listening, listen, I want to tell you, I see you. I know you're balancing a million things today. And maybe you're still trying to figure out how to get the kids dressed without somebody crying. Maybe it's you. Maybe you're trying to sneak in a shower or just that one sip of coffee that's actually hot. Or you're just trying to show up as your best self while you feel like you're doing it all. And if it feels like a lot, it's because it is. Motherhood is one of the toughest jobs out there. And it's the job that we don't often hear thanks for. I don't know about you, but my children are not standing in the corner of my house regularly giving me positive feedback saying, hey, mom, you know that discipline you handled, you delivered it with just the right balance of love and grace. Thanks so much for that. They're not doing that. But here's a statistic that might actually amaze you. Mothers, on average, according to this one study, work 98 hours a week. Yes, you heard me correctly, 98 hours a week. When you factor in all the tasks of home management, caregiving. And if they work, you heard that right, 98 hours. The average mom gets 17 minutes of me time every day. But 80% of moms feel judged by other moms, and the other 20% were clearly lying. Right? But if you feel like you're running on empty, sometimes there's a reason for that. And it is a tough, tough job. But your work matters. And so let's take a moment, as we're going into Mother's Day, to acknowledge all of those layers of emotions that are present in our social circles, in our communities. Maybe you're a mom who's just trying to keep it together. Maybe it's your first Mother's Day without your mom. Maybe you just have a heavy weight that you're carrying. Maybe you've been waiting for years to become a mom, and today is a reminder of that, of that longing. And for some, Mother's Day brings up really complex feelings about how we were raised or what we didn't have. Wherever you are today, it is perfectly human to have human emotions related to that experience. Don't beat yourself up for feeling badly about that. And you know, the thing is, though, studies show when mothers are mentally and emotionally healthy, the entire family thrives. A study from the American Psychological association found that when moms take care of their mental health health, children have fewer behavioral problems. They have better emotional well being. But how do we prioritize our own mental health? We equate, good mental health with not having any struggles. I shouldn't feel sad. I shouldn't feel anxious. I shouldn't feel depressed. If I'm healed and perfect, then that's fine. No, we can name and claim those emotions and have some healthy coping mechanisms. So listen, whether you're going to spend the day pampering yourself like, go ahead and take that nap, please really do, or you're going to get a plethora of homemade cards, you're going to celebrate somebody, whatever that day is looks like for you. I want you to give yourself permission to just embrace the day as it is, even if it is messy. And that is important to do because a lot of women feel very emotional.

When I became a mother, I used to ruin Mother's Day

Let me share with you a little bit of my own personal experience, because Mother's Day has always been really complicated for me. My relationship with my m own mom has been strained. And I know that pain of generational brokenness. And the truth of the matter is, when I became a mother, I used to ruin Mother's Day. Yes, I did. I fully admit it. I let my broken relationship with my mom overshadow my own mothering journey. And the day was just Kind of plagued by this heavy atmosphere of guilt and. And grieving and gloomy predictions. I would sit there and ruminate on the past. And I made this terrible mistake. And maybe some of you have made it too. I told myself that what my husband and my kids did on, Mother's Day was a direct reflection of my mothering. So if it was social media worthy, if it was something perfect, if it was exactly. Somehow they got this secret message of exactly what I wanted it and delivered it how I had constructed it in my mind, and that would be just an example of the closeness of our connection and that I was doing a good job. That was such a lie. My husband is not a mind reader. And as he's, informed me on more than one occasion, he is not Jesus. He cannot know my thoughts. I. And he's not perfect. I had to learn to give that burden to the Lord. And most importantly, to release my family from the prison of my unmet, expectations. I needed to embrace the present as a precious gift rather than grieving the past or fearing the future. And there is a grief that comes not from death, but from absence. Maybe that's emotional distance. Maybe that's physical distance. Maybe it's unmet expectations. Maybe it's wounds that never quite heal. And it's taught me that love can still exist alongside boundaries, healing, and comes from grieving what never was. And I say this because I know there are many of you listening who feel alone in this kind of pain that makes Mother's Day complex. But you are not alone. And as women, we can support each other with empathy and compassion. But most importantly, God sees. He knows he cares very much. And being a mom is, without a doubt, the greatest joy of my life. My children have been my greatest teacher, my biggest source of healing. Each day with them has been a step forward in my own journey, helping me grow in ways I never imagined. That's my own journey. Learning to find joy in the love and laughter that we share and the lessons we learn together. That's restorative. And, then when I look at them now, as they grow, I can see the fruits of seeds I planted so many years ago. And that is a beautiful season, really watching that healing come. And motherhood has been my. Both my challenge and my triumph, and by far my greatest accomplishment. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I recognize that my journey is not unique. And everyone's journey is unique, though, in some way. And there are a lot of different kinds of things. So when we come back, I'm going to talk specifically about questions I've been asked this week. How do we deal with this in a church service? What are things that husbands need to know to make Mother's Day a better experience for their wives? How can mothers prepare their own daughters? And what do you do when you're grieving the loss of your own mothering? Joy? That's not there. I'll have more of that and a blessing for all women when we come back on the other side of this break. I'll see you in just a minute. Here's Dr. Michael Kruger from the American Family Studios documentary the God who Speaks.

>> Dr. Michael Kruger: From the very start, it seems that these books had a level of authority. And a good example of this is Paul's own letters. When Paul wrote, he wrote with the authority of an apostle. An authority of an apostle is one who speaks for Jesus. And so he spoke in his writings with the highest possible authority you could speak with. He was speaking, in one sense, the words of God to people, and people received it as such. They were to obey Paul's letters. They were to follow Paul's letters as the words of Christ. They were to read Paul's letters publicly. So the idea that these books started off just as occasional, letters or historical documents, and that only slowly, gradually, over time, did they gain authority of scripture, I don't think think is borne out by the historical evidence. The evidence indicates that the authors knew they were writing scripture, and the early church received the scripture from a very early time.

Visit thegodwhospeaks.org I've Witnessed It by Melodie Malone and Passion again.. You're worthy, God, you're worthy of all of it Your promises never fail I've got stories I live to tell so I pour out my praise again. You're worthy, God, you're worthy of all of it Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is. I've witnessed it by Melodie Malone and Passion. It's in my top five songs. I know there's at least 16, four songs in my top five maybe, but I love that song because I have witnessed God's faithfulness in my life and he has been good in all seasons. In this season, we're talking about his Mother's Day, and it is such a complicated time. It has complicated emotions. It's a wonderful time to celebrate the blessings of faithful, loving mothers who gift a beautiful legacy of faith. But it also brings pain to some who are reminded of the absence of ideal mothering to some extent in their own life on, what is intended to be a joyful day. So as someone who has experienced brokenness in my own journey with my mother, I have a tender heart, really, for those who struggle.

I pray for supernatural comfort for single mamas and grieving mamas

So let me start by praying these blessings. I wrote these for the stand, and I want to share them with you. For all of these women, for single mamas, for every difficult thing you do with no one there to bear witness to your courage and sacrifice, I pray you would feel seen and appreciated and loved. May people in your path show up unexpectedly with tangible support and words of encouragement. May the love of your children nourish your spirit and renew your strength. May you know you are never alone. For women who are longing to be mamas, for every ache that you have felt in desiring a child of your own, for every disappointment you felt at another possibility fallen through, I pray for supernatural comfort. I pray your heart would be protected from unintended insensitivity of others. May you be blessed with just the right word of encouragement and the longings of your heart be nourished by hope. For grieving mamas, for those who carry unimaginable tragedy and unspeakable grief. May you be blessed with a flood of hidden memories, precious m moments long forgotten, brought to mind with smiles and laughter and comfort to warm your heart. May you find joy and loved ones around you and a peace that passes understanding. For mamas who are missing their own mamas. For those who would give anything for just one more conversation, one more hug, one more moment. May your grief be eased in the revelation that something so beautiful to be missed so greatly is a treasure longed for by many. And may you find joy in honoring the legacy of your beautiful mother through your actions and your spirit with grace and grit. For those experiencing brokenness, for those with the, ah, torturous ache, having a mama but not really having a mama in a healthy relationship, I pray you may be comforted. I pray you are released from guilt and shielded from pain and set free from chains of unhealthy bonds. May you find peace and a lightness of spirit. I pray those who love you would fill the empty places in your heart with immeasurable joy. For the brokenhearted mamas, for those who are brokenhearted over choices of your children, those who ache to be restored, those who agonize over every whisper of failure echoing in your heart. May you be reassured and comforted. May you find forgiveness for yourself and forgiveness for your child. I pray for release from guilt and shame. May you find freedom in the present and hope for restoration in the future. And for the happy mamas, for every happy mama with happy kids and a happy marriage. May you be blessed with immeasurable joy. May you be protected from feelings of guilt that rise from awareness of the weight of your blessing. May the burden of others pain not overshadow your own journey. May your joy be a beacon of light and hope to all around you. May you celebrate the beauty of your blessing and be cherished whatever your mothering circumstance. I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I pray your heart will be moved to intentionally bless the mothers that God has placed in your life. And I pray those blessings over all of you.

I encourage you to reframe Mother's Day spiritually

And I know as we go into Mother's Day, there are a lot of church services and there are some times where people can feel guilt, people can feel pain. And I want you to know if you are in that kind of church service environment, know that the intent is good, but it's okay to feel out of place. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. You're not alone. You are human. And it is natural to have human emotions. So I encourage you to reframe the day spiritually. It's not a performance review of your motherhood. It's not a signal to the world about the totality of your identity. If you long to be a mother, but you aren't, it's not a message to exploit the loss or the absence you feel. So give yourself permission to step away, to emotionally disengage from parts of the service. It's okay to protect your heart. It's also okay to worship from home that day if you need to. I want you to pray about it and seek guidance from your family and do what you feel convicted to do without worrying about any external societal pressures.

Many women do not want men to fix their problems on Mother's Day

Another common question I get is what do dads, what do husbands need to know to make Mother's Day a better experience? Listen, I'm going to tell you a secret. Many women do not want men to try to fix their problems, okay? They don't want men to give what they feel like are platitudes or false assurances. Like, it's going to be fine, you're a great mother, you're fine. You don't need to worry about this. They just want to feel seen and appreciated and emotionally supported. So instead of, of fixing their problems, fix your eyes on Jesus and pray for your wife. Acknowledge whatever emotions she's having and just sit in that with her for a bit. Just say something like this, okay, I'm going to say something that will really help you. Say this. Say instead of being frustrated when you See a negative emotion because you take that as feedback, as in, I'm not providing you with enough support to make you happy today. Say something like this. Say, I can see you're feeling. Fill in the blank. Angry, sad, anxious, conflicted. Whatever it is, I can see you're feeling this way. How can I best support you today? I promise you there will not be, there will not be a protest. I think that I, well, maybe I can't promise you that, but I can promise you a pretty good chance that that would be very well received. Ask your wife what she would like the day to look like. Instead of just trying to assume, you can say something like, hey, it is really on my heart to honor you. I want to make you feel special, but I need some help by knowing your expectations. What would the best day look like to you? And I will do my best to make that happen. And just acknowledge her emotional labor, especially if she feels the weight of managing Mother's Day for other women and the family too, because sometimes that can feel overshadowing. What can I do to make you feel feel special? Another question I got was how can moms prepare their own daughters for some of these feelings, that will experience as grown women? Listen, it's so important for us as moms to be honest about our own imperfections. Just normalizing the idea that motherhood is beautiful, but it's messy and it doesn't come with a manual. And we need to base our worth on who we are in Christ, not on how well we perform as moms, as wives, as women. And we need to model some self compassion. If our kids see us giving ourselves grace, they'll learn to do the same. So three things that we can do is one is creating space to take care of ourselves. So that's okay if you need a few moments alone, if you need to take a bubble bath, if you want a simple walk outside, just take some time for yourself. That is okay. Self care is not selfish. Model taking care of yourself. Because emotionally, physically healthy mothers are going to have emotionally, physically healthier kids. And sometimes words carry a powerful weight. So, another thing that you can do to help on Mother's Day, just write out a thoughtful note. Just a simple heartfelt note can really brighten someone's day. Maybe acknowledge, you know, where they are in their mothering journey. Give them a card acknowledging the grief, the loss, the pain that they might have. Just don't underestimate the power of a kind word. And then encourage the moms in your life, even if that's yourself to just celebrate in a way that feels right for them. Because again, it looks different for everyone if they've lost their mother. If you have someone experiencing infertility or miscarriage, it might be really helpful to acknowledge that pain and to give them permission to grieve. But on the flip side, if you. You can create an environment where they just don't feel pressured to do anything beyond what they want to do. So ask them what the day would look like to make it good for them. And no matter where you find yourself in your mothering journey, remember, there's always something to be grateful for. God is with you in every season. He offers grace and strength for each step. Even on the hard days, just taking a moment to pause and thank him for the blessings can help shift your heart in the right direction. And you know, I think for myself there was a time when I felt this, this almost resentment or jealousy when I saw friends with close, easy relationships with their moms. And I thought, that's something I don't have. And I could sit in the emptiness of that and wonder why I don't have that, why it seems so natural for others, why, it will never happen for me. But through time, I've learned to heal, to create my own sense of family, and to find peace in the relationships I've built. Even if it looks different, I've learned to be grateful. And that gratitude, it doesn't erase hardship, but it brings balance. Even in those chaos, there's moments of joy to hold on to. And it doesn't mean pretending everything is perfect. It just means choosing to cherish the sacred privilege of shaping other people's lives. That is such an amazing joy. And gratitude helps us to model resilience for our kids. It reminds us that even in ordinary moments, bedtime stories, car rides, hugs, those can be holy ground. It's okay to feel joy in your own motherhood while still honoring the pain that others may feel. That's just part of walking in empathy and grace. And I want mamas to take heart. If you are in a season of struggle, be encouraged that the most important work you're doing in motherhood is not in the big moments like birthday parties and vacations and school events and sports awards. It is in those everyday mothering moments. Bedtime tuck ins, thousands of lunches made, homework hassles, carpool lines, laundry loads, wiping noses, reading the same book a thousand times, kissing boo boos, hugs and understanding teen heartbreak. You coach girl drama. You clean boy messes and smelly socks. Scrubbing floors and toilets, checkups, orthodontist visits. Anyone can be a rock star mom in the moment. Anyone can put their best foot forward for a big event. But it is the mundane that becomes miraculous over time. Those unseen moments that no one but heaven applauds at the time where your excellence in mothering is fixed in the heart of your children. It's the investments that often see no short term results. What feels unseen, unheard, unknown and unappreciated, that's actually your legacy. So stop comparing your secret struggles to the public praise that's given to other moms, the ones that seem like they have it all together. Stop comparing your worst day. You're in secret to a mother. Another mama's best day in public. You may not be perfect, but you are the perfect mom for the child God gave you. You have to remind yourself planting and harvesting don't happen in the same season, but consistent care over time nurtures growth. And have faith in those seeds that you're caring for, knowing that they will bloom in the right time. That's so important, and I think it's so important for us to celebrate those healthy moms, those moms that seemed like they have it all together because it's really a beautiful thing. And it gives us, us hope. It gives us absolute hope that, that those healthy relationships are possible, that healing is possible, that joy is possible. Just as we talked about at the beginning, it's so important to do that. So I pray that wherever you are in Mother's Day, that, that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you. I know for this Mother's Day, I will be thinking about my very sweet grandmother who was, was such, a great role model to me. And when she passed away a, little over a year ago, I told my husband, I don't know how I will live in a world without her. And he wisely advised me, hey, you will never have to live in a world without her, because her grit and her grace are woven into the fabric of your soul. And the love that she poured out to everyone literally changed the world for the better. Everywhere I go, for the rest of my life, life, I will see someone who rested under a baby blanket she made, someone who has a recipe card she hand wrote, or someone who found faith through her message of hope. And she is just such a precious, precious soul. She would never allow me to pay for anything, even something as small as a sonic hamburger. If I thought I somehow wrestled away to pay first, then I would inevitably find a 20 bill hidden in my purse later. And she would send me a, thank you note. Note for taking her, even though she paid. Even for something as small as stopping by for lunch on my way to work. She would do that. And when my book was published, I went to her nursing home and snuggled right in the bed with her. And I cried while I read it to her. She just was such a precious soul. She never met a stranger. She never said a bad word about anybody. She acknowledged reality. But she didn't gossip or speak malicious. Maliciously. And she introduced herself as Granny to everyone. And I miss her. This will be my second Mother's Day without her. But she is everywhere in my life. And so wherever you are in your Mother's Day journey, know that I see you. God sees you. God knows he cares. And I pray that you will have a beautiful Mother's Day celebrating your mother, the people who have been mothers in your own life or your own children. I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. And I can't wait to see you back here on Monday. Hey, listen, don't miss it. We're gonna have another episode with Nick V Ministries. I'll, see you on Monday. Jeff Chamblee The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.