Transcript

American Family Radio thanks sponsor, Preborn for supporting pro life advocacy

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you, prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. Listen, if you listened in yesterday, and I hope you did, if you didn't, I hope you'll go back and listen. I was able to tell you about being in Kenya. I've actually been in Africa for the last little over two weeks and had just a tremendous, tremendous, I would even go to say, life changing experience. Anytime you step out of your comfort zone like that and you really step into what God is doing, just he can do so much more far above what we ask or imagine. And, I'm always just completely blown away by the goodness of God. And I learned so much from that. And I was able to talk with the mission trip leader, Dr. Katy Vogelar, nurse practitioner from Baylor University, yesterday, and today I want to add on to that because I really had, my heart stirred and convicted about families today.

How do we help children develop gratitude in a world where everything seems available

And looking at the world through my worldview lens, which as a Christian, as a nurse, as a pediatric expert, I'm really concerned about kids today and a culture of abundance, especially here in the United States. As we're gearing up to celebrate the 250th birthday of this great, great nation, we have so much to be thankful. How do we help our children develop gratitude and perspective and purpose and compassion in a world where everything seems to be at their fingertips? And really, as I was going to Kenya, one of the things that really impressed me the most about the Kenyan culture is how relational they were. And I had, an amazing privilege of actually bringing several of the books from guests that I've had on. I brought their children's books. I brought as many as I could fit in the suitcase. I was exactly at the number, the maximum number of pounds my suitcase could be. I wanted to bring everything that I could. And when I brought those books to children who didn't have any books in their home. One of the things that surprised me the most was that they weren't grateful for the book. They were, but not as much as they were grateful for the fact that they served a God who would stir the heart of a woman who lives in Texas to get on a plane and another plane and another plane and go a, very long way to come and tell them God loves them. And yes, I did that through a book, but they were more, they were just more grateful for the relationship. And I think here in America we just are so consumer minded. So I want to get on a soapbox a little bit and talk about that today, because when, you know, we get a book here in the United States, like there's so many books, there's just an abundance of books almost everywhere that you go. And even children who may not have them in their home, they may have them in a school or somewhere. And this just really, really impacted me because it wasn't the need that struck me so much as the joy, the gratitude for coming all of that way to show God's love for them. It was the way that people valued relationships more than possessions. And it really made me think a lot about the world that my children have grown up in, that children are growing up in today because our culture has changed so dramatically. I remember my grandparents talking about a very different kind of America than we live in now through Great Depression, through World War II, where there wasn't so much abundance. And so I want to talk about that. How did we move from that scarcity? And just knowing in my lifetime, my grandparents lifetime, being able to share that with me directly to excess. Because many of you even listening, may have grown up during the Great Depression, immediately after that, and you understood what it meant to treasure the things that you have. They repaired everything. And I even thought about this. I had brought mistakenly. Okay, I will just put my pride on the line here and say I brought one little like hair drying tool thing, thinking, I don't know if I'll even be able to use this or not, but I'll just bring it. And of course it blew the fuse, right? Okay. All right. I am, I am humbled as, as an American, I am. I didn't need to bring it. It was fine. And so I thought, okay, this is broken. I threw it away. Didn't even think about it at all. Well, the next day I saw somebody who was, you know, working the staff there and they had that. And they had replaced, they had repaired it and brought it back. And I thought, oh, I was really convicted. Something I just threw away without a second thought was something that they could fix. And that's something that we used to have here. And we have generations who grew up wearing hand me downs. There was no shame in that at all. They shared bedrooms. It was very unusual to have your own bedroom. You waited months or maybe even years for things that you wanted. And maybe you got one special gift at Christmas. I remember my great grandmother talking about how every Christmas she would get an orange and some walnuts and that was it. And she talked about how much she looked forward to it and how special it was. And then we had this age of prosperity in the United States. It experienced unprecedented economic growth following World War II. And we saw technology advancing, we saw consumer goods becoming a lot cheaper. And really at that time, the thing that became valued more than it anything, the really the idol of our culture is convenience. Every generation sought to provide more opportunities than the generation before. We wanted to give our kids more than we had. And that in itself is a really beautiful thing, except that we put emphasis on things we wanted to give them more things, not more, not more relationships, not more character, but just more things, more opportunities, more things in the world. And every blessing brings new challenges with it. And day. There are many children who live in a world where just nearly every desire they have can be satisfied almost immediately. If you want food, it can be delivered to the front door. Now I. I can't believe I grew up in a generation. I did not even grow up with a microwave. How has the world changed so much? So if you wanted something, there was no air fryer, which basically plays the song of the summer. In my house with college kids all summer long, I hear the song of the air fryer, but that can get things ready in a few minutes. But we didn't have that. That's changed. We have movies that you don't have to wait to come out in the theater, you don't have to wait to go rent at a box store. You can just stream it on your phone anywhere you are. We have answers arriving in seconds through AI packages appearing within hours. You can get packages appeared and Entertainment is available 24 hours a day. And the average child today has access to more information, more possessions, more convenience, more opportunities, more experiences than kings and queens, literal royalty possessed just a few generations ago. And while poverty absolutely exists in America, I do not want to make light of that, that there are families who are really struggling for food and shelter and basic necessities. And that Is true. But most children today are growing up in a culture of abundance unlike any previous generation.

Our kids are growing up in what sociologists call a convenience culture

And that's really what I want to talk to today. Because even what we think might be scarcity, one of the things I learned in Kenya, in the area where we were, is the average wage was about a dollar a day. A dollar a day is what people live on. And most of us have more than a dollar a day. And so the challenge is that abundance, really unintentionally, and because we're so apathetic to it, it's distorting. Our pers are living in what sociologists call a convenience culture. And the greatest challenge really isn't what our kids don't have. It's what they have too much of. That's what we're talking about mostly when you hear shows like mine or Commentary or any pediatric experts, they're not talking so much about what kids don't have, but what they have too much of. It's not too little opportunity or too little entertainment or too little stuff. It's too much convenience, too much comfort, too much instant gratification. And we are seeing the effects of that as a society because our kids are growing up in a world where food arrives at their door, movies start, packages come. I mean, they just, you name it, they can get anything pretty much instantly. But for most of human history, people have had to wait for something that they wanted. You had to work, you had to save, you had to sacrifice and make choices. In today's children don't have to. Even if that's just getting something on credit. Maybe you don't have the money, but hey, we have a credit card. And that changes how children are seeing the world. Convenience is wonderful until it becomes an expectation, because there are some modern conveniences that I really love. Sometimes I love using grocery pickup or ordering online or using a GPS map because I'm terrible at directions. It's not anti technology, anti progress, anti convenience. The danger comes when that convenience shifts from being a blessing for which we're grateful for, to an expectation that we cannot live without. We cannot tolerate any sort of discomfort, waiting absolutely unacceptable. Like we just are a generation who does not wait for anything. I mean, if we're waiting on hold for more than two minutes, we're just going to hang up. Discomfort is just a problem. Hard work is optional. I'll find a way around it. Everything should be easy. That's the messages that that marketing is giving to us today. But life doesn't work that way in all circumstances. And then kids have a problem when they meet that friction place where they want something instantly, but it's just not something that's going to happen instantly. Maybe it's a diagnosis, maybe it's a financial need that's incredibly great. Maybe it's a healthy relationship, because healthy relationships are anything but convenient. And you know this. If you're a parent, if you're a parent of a teenager and they come to you at 10:30 at night and drop something in the conversation that's so, so heavy and you think, I want to go to bed, I have work tomorrow. Oh, I'm so tired. I don't want to open this conversation now. But time, time is, is not an option. Then you have to put your child first. And when you're looking for meaningful accomplishments, something that really means something, that's something that just didn't happen instantly, that's not convenient. Character growth is not convenient. And service certainly isn't convenient. And we look at a generation of kids who has more than any mentioned previously. We've seen this through Gen Z, my kids are Gen Z. Coming after that is Gen Alpha. They're the oldest. Gen Alpha is about 15. And Gen Beta is being born right now. And we've seen the evolution of this. And there's all kinds of really funny social media trends where you can look at, you know, what we, did when we were growing up. Like, you know, maybe every once in a while you would go out to eat or something like that. And now kids are doordashing, you know, custom coffee right to their house and all of these things. They just have more. This, this is the Stanley Tumbler generation, you know, which somehow I don't know how previous generations stayed hydrated. Like, how did we do it? Well, we drank from the water fountain. But anyway, I digress. This generation has more entertainment, more choices, but we're also seeing in this generation, in Gen Z, more anxiety, more loneliness, more boredom, more dissatisfaction, to the point that suicide is actually the second leading cause of death for young people in this country. Why? Well, I think that's because abundance and fulfillment are not the same thing. Because you can have everything the world tells you you need and you can still feel empty, you can be constantly entertained and you can still wonder what is the purpose or the meaning of my life. Now I think that is because we have been so passive as older generations to let younger generations consume media without any intention and marketing influences have taken over. And now what we are doing is we are raising consumers instead of raising contributors.

Are we raising children who are consumers or contributors to the world?

Now I want to dive into this. And I really want you to take a good look at your family because I am taking a very good look at mine. This really made me very contemplative. Are we raising children who are consumers of the world or contributors to it? Now, consumer mindset isn't just about buying things. This is a way of viewing life through the lens of what can I get? What is in it for me? What do I deserve? Treat yourself. The treat yourself culture and how does this benefit me? And the truth is our culture is training children to be consumers from before they are even born because consumers are looking to influence what kids want so that they will ask their parents for it. And that influences consumer behavior. Advertising is constantly telling them they need more. Social media is telling it, you deserve it. Treat yourself. And algorithms are designed to keep kids engaged and entertained and scrolling for things that they will buy. There are entire industries that are putting kids attention on the market block and selling it to the highest bidder. Their loyalty and their spending. And without intentional intervention, children begin to see themselves primarily as recipients. What is the world going to give to me? But contributors see the world very differently. Contributors ask, what needs to be done? Who needs help? How can I use my gifts? What responsibility is mine? Consumers wait to be served. While contributors look for ways to serve. Consumers focus on this is my right, these are my rights. Contributors understand I have responsibility. With privilege comes responsibility. Consumers ask ask what does the community owe them? While contributors ask what can I offer to the community? And you see this showing up in everyday life because consumers going to walk into church and say do I like the music? A contributor says, am I making people feel welcome here? A consumer walks into the family gathering and says what's for dinner? While a contributor says, hey, can I help set the table? If you want to raise contributors who serve, come back after the breakfast and I'll tell you how.

 : Candace talks about finding out she was pregnant. Thankfully, an ultrasound provided by preborn allowed her to hear her baby's heartbeat. The sonogram sealed the deal for me. My baby was like this tiny little spectrum of hope and I saw his heart beating on the screen and knowing that, that there's life growing inside. I mean that sonogram changed my life. I went from just Candace to Mom. Thank you. To everybody that has given these gifts. You guys are giving more than money. You guys are giving love.

 : Preborn currently has clinics that do not have ultrasound machines. Would you consider a leadership gift and sponsor a machine today? These life Saving machines cost $15,000 more than most centers can afford. Your donation will save countless lives for years to come. Dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby or go to preborn.com/AFR Nobody Loves

Nobody Loves Me Like You by Chris Tomlin : Me like you love, me Jesus, I stand in all of your amazing way Our worship you as long as I am breathing God you are faithful and true Nobody loves me like you.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Nobody loves me like you do by Chris Tomlin and it is so true Nobody loves you like the Lord does and I hope that you're doing well on this Tuesday. I want to tell you a couple of things before I dive back into what I'm talking about today. Remind you that the Ten Commandments project is going on right now. The, AFA is continuing the Ten Commandments project in 2026 and it is for children and youth and you can your kids can win a free T shirt by memorizing the Ten Commandments. And there are all kinds of things that you can do. There's even a speech challenge and if you want to know about that, you can email Pastor Joseph Parker [email protected] Just put the Ten Commandments project speech in the subject line and he will tell you all of the information about how your child can do a speech for the Ten Commandments. And they are going to air those. This is for children ages 7 to 17 and your speech needs to be submitted by June 30, but you can email Pastor Parker to learn about that. We also had him on the show a couple a few Fridays back and talked about that as well. I also want to remind you that AFA is inviting you to AFA at the Ark October 29th and 30th. This is the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter and you can go to afa.net/events and just click on afa@the Ark and they would love to see you there. Now what I'm talking about today is a follow up from yesterday. If you were able to hear the show yesterday. I talked about my time over the last couple of weeks in Kenya. Now it is really important for me to practice what I'm telling you. And not just to tell you oh, do these things for your family, but to really do them on my own. And so I really value missions and service in my family. Always have. Even since our kids were really young. We took them with us on an international mission trip when my kids were all still elemental elementary school grade and younger. And sometimes you can have the opportunity to do that. Sometimes it is just in your local community. But wherever God calls you. I encourage you to do something together as a family this summer, to serve together. And what I'm talking about, what I was talking about right before the break, is this consumer mentality versus a contributor. And we have been passive as parents in raising a consumer generation, a generation that just says, what's in it for me? A consumer sees the community problem, sees a problem that's going on and complains about it. A contributor will see that same problem and say, how can I be a part of the solution? And we don't want to raise a bunch of complainers. We want to raise a bunch of world changers and problem solvers who think, how has God equipped me to meet this moment now? These habits don't just magically appear at the age of 25. They are formed over a series of years and years of microchoices. And one of the greatest predictors of fulfillment, fulfillment in life, isn't how comfortable you are, how much you get, it's how much you contribute. And research consistently shows that people experience greater purpose, life satisfaction and well being when they engage in meaningful service and volunteering and helping others. And we often think, you know, yeah, of course we want our kids to serve, but really the accountability partners here are your credit card and your calendar. And if you look at your credit card and your calendar for your family, doesn't matter. You have kids, no kids, grown kids, doesn't matter. What is you and your family that you're living with right now? How much more time are you spending on experiences or consuming things versus contributing now? I'm not saying that it's wrong to have those experiences because it's fun to have a, family fun every once in a while. And we'll talk about that even as one of our Friday habits. We talk about having fun together, but we think we really kind of inherently prioritize making sure our kids have more experiences, more activities, more opportunities to be happy and to set them up for success in the future. But really what we need to give them is the message that your life matters, that God has equipped you specifically to be able to serve those around you. You are capable of carrying responsibility. You have the chance to know that someone's life was forever changed and made for the better because you showed up in obedience with those gifts. Children thrive when they discover they are capable of helping. Capability is that competence and confidence, these are some of the major building blocks of resilience. So even if they're going through something hard, knowing that I'm capable of helping someone else, that helps to build resilience. Knowing they have something valuable offer and that's something they do, really makes a difference. And one of the things that we do is we over serve our children today. I'm going to say something unpopular, but I'll stand by it. Here's my hot take. I think we give our kids today way too much, way too soon. Things that we had to wait for. Now we're just giving to kids and we're seeing proms that are nicer than weddings. What do they have to look forward to? How can they possibly just starting off in their adult life, hope to attain that standard of living, you know, when they're going to be on their own? But trying to live on the, the budget that we've put them on, it's really hard to set them at that way. Now, naturally we want to make life easier for our kids and we want to give good gifts to our children. That is not a bad thing. But sometimes that desire unintentionally deprives them of opportunities to contribute. Because maybe we just do their chores for them, maybe we solve their problems, we make the phone calls for them, we carry the responsibility, we take their lunch up every day when they forget it. And before long, children were teaching them to be served instead of to serve. And the goal of parenting is not to make childhood effortless. It's to prepare our children for adulthood. And adulthood requires an active contribution. Healthy adults know how to work, how to sacrifice, how to show up for others, how to carry responsibility. And that's why serving together as a family can be so powerful. Because a service interrupts. It is a pause on that consumer narrative that is going to make their brain turn on another circuit and activate a different part of their brain and remind children the world does not exist simply to entertain them and expand their field of vision beyond themselves. It helps them discover that they're not just merely the beneficiaries of good things, of, blessings, of gifts, of opportunities. They can also be stewards of them. And when children serve at a food bank or they help at vbs, or they visit a nursing home, or they pack a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child, they participate in a mission trip, they start to understand something really, really profound. That the most meaningful people in life are rarely the biggest consumers. They don't, people don't want to be around, you know, oh, the people who want the most, they want to be around the people who are contributing the most. And that's one of the most important lessons that we can teach the next Generation is that your purpose on life in and on earth here in this life is not just to consume blessings. Yes, God is going to bless you. Yes, God is going to give you things. But you were entrusted with blessings by God to give so that you can become a blessing to others.

Service is the most powerful way to build a real world relationship

And in the midst of all of this narrative, in the midst of this world worldview, we have the ever ready enemy that all parents will grab pitchforks and be ready to ride at dawn over. And that is screens. And especially in the summertime, it seems like screens are just can be the bane of our existence. And parents are always asking, I hear this question all the time. How do I get my kid off their screen? How much screen time do they have? How can I get my kid to get their face out of their phone? Well, here is the hard truth. It is not about screen time. It is about the vacuum that that screen time is filling. That's what we've got to look at. We can't just take away the screen without replacing it with a purpose because kids are just going to find another way to consume something. The solution is not just less screen time. The solution is more mission, more service, more responsibility, more meaningful work, more delayed gratifications, more real world relationships. And we can do those so powerfully through serving each other. It's one of the most powerful ways to build a real world relationship is to serve each other. Service changes children for the better because when a kid serves at a food bank, they are going to meet people they would never otherwise meet. I remember my daughter coming home from her first time and serving as a food bank. And she said, I will never complain about my lunch again. Because the children were asking, they were making mustard and bologna sandwiches and they said, please only put mustard on one side of the bread because I saved the other piece of bread for dinner. And if you put mustard on both sides, it gets soggy. That was eye opening for her to see that kind of need. When your kids are packing an Operation Christmas Child box, they start thinking about another child's life. What would they like? What would they, what would they want? Realizing that this is the entire Christmas we're packing in a shoebox. When they help at vbs, they discover that, that they can be leaders. When they volunteer at camp, they learn how to be responsible. When they serve alongside their parents and their grandparents, they learn legacy family. Legacy service answers a question that the heart of every child is asking. Every day kids wake up and they are asking this one question. Do I matter is me being here. Does it mean anything. What is my purpose in life? And the answer is yes, you matter because God created you and he created you and invited you to step into his work with Him. God is going to accomplish his work whether we step into it or not. But he gives us the tremendous blessing of inviting us to work alongside Him. And on my recent trip to Kenya, I was reminded about that so many times. I met so many people with way, way fewer possessions than most American families have. And yet I witnessed the most extraordinary gratitude that I have ever seen. Just extraordinary generosity, extraordinary resilience, and sometimes exposure to need is one of the greatest gifts that we can give our children. I went into homes that were pieces of corrugated metal that had just been cobbled together. There was no window, There was no floor, there was no running water. There was no central ac. There was no, you know, big entertainment system. This is one room where the whole family was there. And there's no there. There was no indoor facilities. I mean, just nothing that you would see from a modern convenience perspective. And we would go and, and build kitchen gardens or our engineering team built a water tank. And to see the people there. So grateful, not, not, not just, not primarily for what we had brought, but for how we had brought it. And they taught us the most important thing we're going to do is fellowship with these families. We're not here just to come in and, oh, you don't have this. We're here to give this to you, is we're here to fellowship with you. And we would sing with them, and we would pray with them, and they would invite us so graciously into their homes that we would fellowship together. And when kids see that they. We want them to see, to notice, to care, to understand there is a whole world out there beyond themselves. And so this summer, I challenge you, don't just ask, what camps are we doing? What vacations are we taking? What activities are we signing up for? What fun are we going to have? Do all the things, have all the fun, go to camp, do all the activities, take a vacation if you can, even as a staycation. But I also encourage you to prioritize asking right now, we're the beginning of summer. How are we going to serve as a family this summer? What are we going to do? What need are we going to see? And how are we going to meet that? Because years from now, your children may not remember every Friday night, movie night that you have during the summer. They may not remember every game that you played of Candy Land or Monopoly, much to my husband's chagrin. He hates that game, but he'll still play with us. They may not remember every toy they received, every outing that you had, but I guarantee you they will remember going somewhere, to a shelter to serve meals, packing shoeboxes, helping at vbs, volunteering at camp, going on a mission, doing something with your church. They will remember those things. Because if your child has a phone, they can serve with that phone. If they have a backpack, they can serve. If they have a pair of shoes and willing heart, they can serve. You don't have to go to Kenya. You don't have to spend thousands of dollars. You don't have to wait until your kids are older. You can start where you are and use what you have, and you can serve who is near. Because even those families in Kenya who would have very, very little, especially by American standards, they had more. They had more than I had. They had more. They were so much richer in spirit in so many ways. And that was really convicting. And one of the greatest gifts that we can give our children is the discovery that a meaningful life is not found in what we consume, but what we contribute. And when we look at, you know, all of just the ways that we're fighting against that, against instant gratification, that is something that's really, really hard. And psychologists have really long understood that delayed gratification is one of the strongest predictors of future success. And instead, you know, we're looking for the instant gratification. We're looking for the, the sports lessons, the music lessons, the academic coaches, all of those things that we think, oh, that's going to be the predictor of my kids success. But actually, we know that one of the best things that we can do is teach our kids delayed gratification, how to wait for something, how to work towards something, how to sacrifice the present comfort for the future reward. But modern culture is training us in the opposite direction, and we are having to fight against that. That calls us as parents, as grandparents, to be intentional and developing opportunities where our kids develop patience. And we know that mission, work and service naturally teach delayed gratification because packing food boxes isn't exciting every minute, and sorting donations may not be glamorous. And serving at vbs, can we get a name in, can certainly be exhausting. Right? Right. That is not something you go home from and think, oh, I'm so refreshed. That was great. Let's do it again. Volunteering at camp requires sacrifice of your comfort, of your sleep. But children discover something really important. Some of the most rewarding experiences in life are not happening instantly and no generation in history has had access to more entertainment than today's kids. Now, According to a 2025 Common Sense Media report, children eight and under average at least two and a half hours of daily screen time use. While over that it's about nine to 10 hours and by age two, right now, most about half, a little over half of kids have their own personal digital device that's training them for short form videos, for scrolling, for algorithm content, for instant rewards, for constant stimulation and and we know that children are increasingly consuming this and the issue is not just what they're viewing but what they're missing while they're mindlessly streaming in that they're missing conversations, relationships, exploring their world, being creative and real world relationships. When we come back, I'll tell you how kids can be entertained and bored at the same time. And I'll give you some practical tips for stepping into service service in your community. I'll be right back after this break.

AFA celebrates America's 250th birthday with patriotic apparel

 : America's 250th birthday. It's a great excuse to have some extra cake and ice cream, but we can help your celebration go well beyond that. Show your patriotism with America 250 apparel that will become a memento of this special year. We also have special episodes on AFA Stream to help underscore that America is as a Christian nation and help you find God in the Constitution. Find all of this and more in one place. afa.net/topics/250 Wandering into the night Wanting

I Thank God by Housefires, JWLKRS Worship, and Ryan Ellis: a place to hide this weary soul this bag of bones I tried with all my might But I just can't win the fight I'm slowly drifting a vagabond and just when I ran out of road I met a man I didn't know and he told me that I was not, not alone he picks me up and turn me around and place my feet on solid ground I thank the master I thank the Savior because he healed my heart and changed my name Forever free I am not the same I thank the master I think the Savior.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is I thank God by house fires and I smell so big hearing that song. That is a song that was a favorite of. Ah, my Kenyan friends. I just got back from spending a little over two weeks in Africa in the country of Kenya. And they love that song. And we sang that with them. There's something really special about traveling halfway around the world or all the way around the world and singing the same songs of praise together.

Kids can be both entertained and bored at the same time right now

And today I'm challenging you all this summer to serve together as a family, to be intentional about helping your kids, your grandkids, your nieces, your nephews, your husband, your wife, wherever you are in your family, do a service project together this summer. And one of the things I told you, I would tell you about is how kids can be both entertained and bored at the same time. Now bored in my house growing up in the summer and went for my kids, they knew better than to tell me they were bored because I was going to make sure they found something that was not going to make them bored. And usually that was going to be something really tedious. But kids can be entertained and bored at the same time right now. It's one of the greatest paradoxes of modern childhood. And how can it be? Well, it is because constant stimulation changes the way our kids brains are wired and it changes their expectations. And when a child's brain becomes accustomed to rapid fire entertainment, ordinary life feels so dull it feels intolerable. They don't want to do things like read a book or help with chores or have a family conversation or play outside or serve others. These activities unfold at a slower pace and experts are increasingly warning that includes me that over reliance on screens diminish kids tolerance for boredom. And it's reducing their opportunity and capacity for creativity and self directed play. And boredom is not the enemy. Boredom often precedes creativity. Boredom is the doorway to imagination. Boredom is an opportunity for innovation.

Recent studies find links between excessive screen use and anxiety and depression among children

Some of our best ideas emerge when we aren't being constantly entertained and the conversation really about children and screen time has become more nuanced. We used to say this many hours but we are really increasingly distinguishing not so much between m on how, how much kids are watching the screens, but what they're engaging with on the screen. Just this problematic use. And several studies that have been published in the last couple of years find associations between excessive screen use and higher rates of anxiety, aggression, low self esteem, emotional immaturity among children. Because kids are using screens as a coping mechanism and this is kind of characteristics of, of addictive kind of use. Like they can't stop and they're emotionally dependent on it and they have a compulsive engagement. I want to limit my screen time, but I can't. And these things are more concerning than just the screen time alone. And the takeaway is that the screens aren't evil, that it's that they need. Kids need something that screens cannot provide. They need purpose, they need responsibility, they need meaningful relationship, they need contribution, they need a mission, they need to know that their life matters. And so when they are serving, they are changing the question that they're asking in the summer, what can I get today? What's going to happen to serve me to how can I help? And how can I serve others? And so a better solution than simply limiting screens isn't just taking them away. It's giving them something better. It's giving them a compelling alternative. It's giving them adventure, giving them play, giving them purpose, responsibility, relationships, mission. Children were created for so much more than consumption. They were created for contribution. And that is one of the most powerful ways to help them discover that truth together. Because no matter where you live, no matter your income, no matter your age, no matter your abilities, no matter your family stage, God has gifted you in a way that you can serve. You can always serve somebody. And sometimes that greatest transformation doesn't happen in the people we're helping. It happens in ourselves. God, does that work in ourselves? Children do not naturally develop gratitude because they have more. And now we see the cycle where we want to give our kids more, but they're not grateful what we have. So we resent them for not being grateful because we've worked so hard for the opportunity that they have no idea what it's like to work for. Kids develop gratitude when they understand what they have and they learn how to use it to serve others. So service is really one of the best antidotes to boredom, because service can be fun. Because your kids can spend six hours on screens and still say, I'm bored. It's not the lack of stimulation that they have. It's not the lack of entertainment. It's a lack of purpose. We have raised this generation with unprecedented access to entertainment, but kids do not know what to do. The minute the wi fi goes out, the minute the batteries die, the minute the screen is taken away, they have no idea what to do with themselves. It's not that they have too little to occupy them. It's that they have become accustomed to being entertained rather than being engaged in meaningful relationship. Our brains are designed to seek rewards. So video games, social media, streaming platforms, level ups on video games, all of these things are delivering frequent dopamine hits to our brain. And dopamine is often called the brain's motivation or reward chemical. Every like, every level up, every notification, every new video, every surprise, the brain is getting another small reward. And the challenge is that these rewards only last for a few seconds and that feeling fades. So you want more. You want more. And we create this cycle of consuming stimulation. But service Activates a different reward pathway in the brain. It engages deeper systems of thinking that are connected with meaningfulness and empathy and belonging and purpose. Instead of, training your brain to say, okay, what's next? What's next? What's next? What's next? It's who did I help? That is a very different kind of reward. Because people confuse sometimes excitement and happiness. But excitement is intense, but it's temporary. Fulfillment is quieter, but it is longer lasting. So a child may be excited about a new toy for three days or maybe even three minutes, right? But a child who serves at camp, who helps a family at need, who mentors younger children or does a service project, they might talk about that for years because they weren't simply entertained, they were needed. And being needed is really powerful. Children thrive when they know that their life has value beyond just consuming experiences. So screens are providing stimulation and distraction and amusement, but they cannot provide purpose and responsibility and a genuine human connection and a sense of contribution to the world. And so a lot of times as parents, we try to solve boredom with more entertainment. But sometimes the solution is engagement is giving them responsibility. Children are going to rise the level of responsibility we give them. And many times adults underestimate how much children want, want meaningful challenges. But kids love accomplishing something difficult, Learning a practical skill, helping younger children, being trusted, working alongside adults and making a visible difference. And so sometimes kids who complain about volunteering ended up being the ones who love it the most because they discover they're capable of doing more than they thought. And sometimes we just expect too little from them. And we desire to help them, to protect them. And there's of course, a balance. We don't want to give children responsibilities that adults should carry or things they're not developmentally ready for. But so often we just want to problem solve for them. And when we look at previous generations, they were trusted earlier with things. And now we've swung the pendulum too far to where we don't trust them with anything. They're on Life360 all the time. We're monitoring every micro moment. We're watching them on video and telling them, you know, no, you can't cook, you can't do this. We're replacing responsibility with just constant supervision. And many children today spend a lot more time being supervised than being entrusted. We organize everything. We solve every problem, we manage every conflict. We carry all of the responsibility we need to. Kids need to know that they're capable of doing things. And Gen Z especially, they are hungry for a purpose. They are often Criticized as entitled or distracted or screen obsessed. But these are young people who are searching for purpose and meaning and belonging and impact. They want to be a part of something that is meaningful. And when they're given real responsibility, so many of them rise to the occasion. It's not capability as much as it is opportunity. And when we invite children into meaningful service, we're communicating, hey, I trust you. You have something meaningful to offer. Your contribution matters. People need what you bring. I mean, I think about even at third graders, who would help me when I was working at a camp and I would have a waiting room full of kids, and the third graders would be there and just entertain and just be there to host and keep people in line. They could do that. It was really amazing to see how they could. Just somebody's smile can be such a service to some other people. And young people, you know, we say that they're the future and which is true, but they're also the present. They don't have to wait until they're adults to contribute. They can lead now, now, they can serve now, they can give now, they can help now. And when we really have children rising to the level of low expectations, then we're going to communicate that really they're not capable of giving much, but they are. One reason the service is so transformative is that it tells children, hey, you have something. God has given you something to give. A child serving at VBS isn't just being entertained. They're helping. A teenager volunteering at camp isn't just a participant. They're leading, even by example. A family serving together isn't just observing needs, they're meeting them. And we can tell people, you're not too young to make a difference. Even a baby at a nursing home can make older people smile and bring so much joy. And sometimes that is the message that they need to hear. When we engage kids in service, it helps their brains by. By planning things, problem solving, following through, developing commitment. It also gives them emotional intelligence. M because they recognize emotions. You can't really serve without having really, really intense emotions that are involved in that. You can talk with your kids about that. They develop empathy seeing someone in a circumstance that is so unlike their own and really can understand different perspectives. It also gives them resilience because they may have to work through some discomfort that they have. They might have to delay gratification. They might have to persevere even when things are difficult and they're tired. But this starts to answer the question for them, who am I? I am someone who helps. And this identity can really change the trajectory of their life. So I really want to encourage you to get your kids excited about service. Don't just say, say, okay, because lots of times it's the way we present it to them. We're going to serve together. Don't complain about it. We set it up like that. You start with ownership. So instead of saying, we need to help people, we have a lot and we are going to give back, say, maybe this question would be a good question. Conversation, starter for your family. What problem would you like to help solve? Kids are so much more engaged when they have a voice. And so some kids love animals. Great. Lean into that. Go serve at an animal shelter. Some kids love sports. Maybe there's a special needs sports league. We featured one of those here on the show. A, baseball league for special needs kids. Some older kids love helping younger kids. Great. Sign them up for vbs. Some love to build things. Where in your community can you sign up to do that? Where they can learn some new construction skills? Some kids love art. That's wonderful. Create cards for nursing home residents. Look at your kids. Look at your own giftedness and see where can I use the gifts that God has given me to connect my service with the interests and strengths that God has given me to help other people? And one reason that some service service projects fail to engage kids is that it just kind of feels transactional, like you're just dropping off a donation. Really engage in the relationship, meet the people, hear the stories, build the connections, return regularly. And children are far more likely to involve, to develop compassion when service involves faces and names and relationships. And so a child who spends all summer consuming entertainment, maybe they'll have the most fun summer ever. But a child who spends part of the summer contributing to others may have a transformational life experience that leaves an indelible impact on their soul and changes what they see as how God made them and who God is. They may not remember all of the fun that you had, but they will remember those service opportunities that you have. To whom much is given, much is required. Those are the words of Jesus from the book of Luke in a parable. And really, it is so beautiful to see God giving us the faith, God being so faithful to equip us for every good work.

Use your gifts and talents to serve others this summer

And so ask, what has God entrusted to your family? What gifts, what resources, what talents? What opportunities has he given you? What blessings maybe are you taking for granted? And how can you use your gifts and talents and resources and opportunities to serve as others? This summer. Are you teaching your kids and your family to enjoy God's blessings and also to steward them? There are so many ways that you can do that that you can get involved. Finding your family's unique ways to serve. Not every family is called to travel to Africa, but you may have money or time or skills or hospitality or leadership or teaching abilities or architecture, artistic talents or construction skills or organizational gifts. Share those with your family no matter what your family's age and stage. Create a legacy of service. Instead of asking, what do I want? Say who can we help? And as you do, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon your serving hearts. I'll see you back here tomorrow.

Preborn has rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion 

We'd like to thank our sponsors, including PreBorn. PreBorn has rescued over 400,000 babies from abortion and every day their network clinics rescue 200 babies lives. Will you join PreBorn in loving and supporting young moms in crisis? Save a life today. Go to preborn.com/AFR the views and

Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.