It's Ask Dr. Nurse Mama Friday! Jessica talks about this week's healthy habit of watching faith-based films together with family and Homefront Headlines. (MATURE CONTENT)
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: and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.
Today's healthy habit is watching faith based films with your family
Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day. On my favorite day of the week, it is fry. Yay. We have made it through another week in May and we are speeding towards summer. Friends, and I don't know about you, but I love summer. It doesn't matter what state stage of life you're in, summer just has a different feeling. It's just more laid back. I love that it stays, it stays light out later and we just kind of pretend like we're not really working when we really are. And somehow we just feel a little more casual. And that tends to lead to a lot of movie nights for my family. I love watching movies with my family and that's what we're talking about today. For today's healthy habit is movie night and watching faith based films with your family. Now this might sound just kind of like, okay, yeah, is that really that big of a deal? It is a big deal and it's a big deal because the way that we are engaging in media with media as families has changed dramatically and it's impacting you maybe more than you know. So I'm going to dive into that. But if you've been following along, we started this journey in January and January we talked about core four spiritual disciplines. Praying, reading your Bible, going to church, listening to Christian music. We moved into six weeks of rhythms that you need. Morning routine, bedtime routine, daily devotional. These things ground your family. Then we talked through eight weeks of communication skills that you need. Very simple, not very easy, but definitely convicting. And now we are just starting in week two of 12 and tech habits. Now you may think, okay, when are we going to get to the good stuff on smartphone and social media and all of that? We're getting there. But again, we've got to start with the basic foundations. Last week I talked about reading out loud. We can talk about being the screen police and Limiting our screen time and telling our kids to get off their phone. But we've got to provide them a, ah, compelling alternative. And that's one of the things I'm going to talk about this week is watching faith based films with your family, together as a family, everybody watching the same thing, thing.
We are pumping a lot of garbage out into the world
Now we're going to start in Scripture, as we always do, Philippians 4. 8. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy. Think about such things. Now, I will tell you, there are very, very few videos that are produced today that meet those criteria. It's just not. We are pumping a lot of garbage out into the world. Some of it is not inherently bad, it's just not edifying, it's not praiseworthy. I mean, how many hours can you watch cat bloopers or sports reels before you really say, okay, I've, probably had enough of that? And again, these platforms are competing. They're auctioning off your attention. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. And I believe that he is primarily stealing our time.
We live in a world where entertainment is no longer occasional
There are other things, things that we can be doing that are more edifying. We live in a world where entertainment is no longer occasional. It is constant. It used to be you'd have to wait for Friday night for entertainment. Maybe you went to Friday Night Lights. I grew up in Texas. That was a thing. Or Friday night was at the video store where you'd hope that, you know, the movie that you wanted wasn't all gone. Or maybe you'd have a board game night. But now entertainment is constant. If you're waiting on hold on the phone, you could just open up a game on your phone. I mean, there is no shortage of entertainment. Movie movies used to require effort and now it is just everywhere. We used to get dressed up to go to the movies. Anybody old enough to remember that? Then came vhs, dvd, then cable television, now streaming through the smartphones, and now here. Here's the basic thing that I'm concerned about. Every member of the family is disappearing into their own separate emotional universe. Their own digital silo. Headphones on screens glowing. And now we have headphones that completely block out the outside world. You can completely immerse yourself. And media is not neutral. The stories, the videos that we are streaming, they shape our beliefs, emotions, identity, morality, empathy, worldview. These things are not neutral. And if we're not intentional, algorithms are going to disciple our families for us.
How do we Reclaim entertainment as a tool for connection, for discipleship?
So today we're going to talk about how do we Reclaim entertainment as a tool for connection, for discipleship, for joy, and for faith formation. And so let's take a look back, as I like to do. I think history is very instructive for us. And let's look at the evolution of entertainment because I think it's encouraging to see the way that the world is working against us. When we feel defeated and we think, why can't I get a hold of this? Well, there are forces at work, my friends. Look back at the movie theater era when it started in the beginning of the 20th century. This was a shared community experience. You would go and see the same film, you'd see your neighbors there. You knew who was there, who was watching it, you could talk about it afterwards. There were very few choices, sometimes just one. And there were stronger cultural standards, there was stronger censorship. So what was being shown was more likely to be appropriate, quite frankly. Then we had a home video revolution. Movies started to enter the home and there was still some controlling of what families viewed, but lower standards. Then we had cable TV explosion. This didn't even happen until after, well, after I was married. We did not have cable tv. It was just three stations and let me tell you, in the middle of the night they all played mash. That was it. And so it gave you limited choices. But now we have endless channels and we had the normalization of explicit content we see in the titles, even titles of movies that would definitely should make you blush. And the streaming era, Unlimited personalized content fed to you by an algorithm. No gatekeepers. Binge culture is normal. Normal to binge watch a show that didn't. Those words didn't even exist in our vocabulary until recently. And now, you know, you used to have to wait and you would see it and maybe if you really like that show, you'd catch it on a rerun if you were lucky. Now you can just watch a whole season in 48 hours. And a trend called bedrotting, where you don't get out of your bed, you're just curled up on your side with texting neck and anything goes. Now, especially since COVID when we have user generated content, there are no filters, there is bad language in everything, just things that are not edifying. And we see this, this cultural arrival at a place where violence is completely normal, gratuitous violence. Sexual content is increasingly graphic. Crude humor is marketed to younger and younger audiences. Moral ambiguity is celebrated and normalized. Cynicism replaces virtue. And streaming companies compete for attention through their main commodity, which is shock. And that was a trend when There was a movie that I'm not even going to give any more hype to, but that was extremely inappropriate. Wildly popular among teens, and the whole trend was to show your shocked face after you watch this movie. What does that do? That creates curiosity, like, oh, what was so shocking that it shocked you? I want to see what it is. We are not just watching stories. We are being emotionally, spiritually, psychologically shaped by them. Now, media creators, we need to know that they understand neuroscience very, very well and in fact, hire neuroscientists to work for them to use it to their advantage. They know how and when music triggers emotion. Now, this can be a great reflection of. Of creativity. And we see accomplished, musicians like Jon Williams, who created the soundtrack for Jaws, for Jurassic park, for I, for Indiana Jones, for. For just iconic. He created those out of his brain. And you know when you hear that Jaws soundtrack, you know the emotion you feel, you feel fear, right? Movie makers have known this for some time, and now this is just amplified and on steroids. Cliffhangers create dopamine anticipation. Suspense activates the stress response, so you'll stay on it so that you can wait for that dopamine. Emotional bonding with characters builds attachment, and you want to watch the same thing over and over again. Binge watching hijacks your reward pathways. So you have scientists who are using all of this knowledge now to amplify this. And now AI takes this to the next level, where they say, create the perfect formula to create a deep emotional attachment to a movie, to a show that people will watch over and over again. And stories are taking us on a carefully bioengineered emotional journey. And families used to journey through stories together. Together, we would watch. Now dad watches one thing, Mom's watching another thing. Teens are watching something else. The younger kids are streaming something totally different. Nobody is watching anything that anybody else is watching. This means teens are being exposed to things that you don't know they're being exposed to. We see jokes creeping into kids, shows that shouldn't be there, but there's nobody there to walk them through it. And nobody knows what mom and dad are watching and why they're watching it and what they care about and what's important to them and how they're processing what they're seeing. This is an emotional disconnect in families that becomes very profound because families are no longer sharing the same narratives, the same heroes, the same values, the same emotional experiences. And when I speak with audiences, I can ask them questions about pop culture from boomer culture, from gen X culture, even Millennial. I can ask you, who did Joanie love? You're going to tell me, Chachi. I can say, where did Andy Griffith live? You're all answering me back together on the radio. He lived in Mayberry. We all know this. Now you can talk about these very niche shows like that are wildly popular, but seems like only one seg of the. Of the. Of the culture knows about them. For example, last summer, Squid Games was really popular, very violent show, by the way. And everybody else is saying, squid what we don't know what each other is watching. We have really split off into generational streaming. And now algorithms are the primary storytellers shaping the emotional narrative for your family.
For most of human history, storytelling has been a communal experience
This is something that should make us wake up. For most of human history, storytelling has been a communal experience. You sit around the campfire and your uncle tells a scary ghost story, or you gather around the radio to listen to fireside chats, or you gather around the television to watch the Sunday night feature. You go to the movie together. And even entertainment carried these shared cultural expectations. There were gatekeepers, for better or for worse. We can talk about the. The good and the bad of that, but there were some movie standards that were. That were there. But as I said, in the mid 20th century, we went from watching a movie as an event, as this cultural reference point. And we see movies starting to emerge that are like that still, but it's just like a little flashpoint. Like, you remember the summer where it seemed like everybody went and saw Top Gun. Like all of a sudden everybody went to see that movie. And that is not the norm for most. But we saw this again, this change so dramatically through the rise of home video. And then we had the launch of MTV in 1981 that accelerated this kind of rapid cut media, this video storytelling. It amplified celebrity culture. It normalized increasingly sexualized visual entertainment for teenagers. It laid the groundwork for smartphones. It really did. And then we had premium cable channels mainstreamed the idea that adult entertainment could be on a broad streaming platform. And then we saw DVR start to change viewing behavior. Instead of just watching whatever was on, you would record something to be individualized for you. The arrival of Internet pornography in the late 1990s and early 2000s marked one of the largest unregulated shifts in human media consumption history. And this placed explicit material instantly into private spaces without traditional gatekeepers, meaning that before you would have to go to a store, you would have to interact with a store clerk, you would have to buy a physical product and come home. Now the launch of Netflix streaming in 2007 coincided with the launch of the iPhone by Apple. And this placed personalized entertainment, social media and streaming directly into every pocket. It removed nearly all natural stopping points for media consumption because nothing ever ended. It was an endless scroll of autoplay features on these streaming platforms. And it reshaped human attention by eliminating these pauses that encouraged reflection, like, okay, the show is over, let's go. You know, not too long ago, I was watching a show with my kids. It was a old TV show from the 90s. I say old from the 90s, but they were watching TV late at night on the television show and they. And then the Star Spangled Banner came on and my kids were so confused. They're like, what is happening? And they turned off the TV and said, okay, it's time to go to bed. And it struck me at how much the world has changed because now nothing ever goes off. We don't have family living room TV anymore. We have the rise of individual screens and that fragment those family experiences. So instead of one shared story, we're all living in separate streams of entertainment and values and humor. And we are really having a very heated debate about censorship. What is censorship? What is consumer choice? What is good for society to, hey, everybody, just do what is good. Do what is right in their own eyes. Does that sound familiar? Social media influencer culture blurred the line even further because we have all kinds of possibilities with not many limits. We'll talk more about this and what your family can do about it when we come back after the break. Don't miss it on Healthy Habits Friday. See you in a minute. Mother's Day. It's one of the most beautiful moments of the year to share life changing news. Maybe you've seen it. A family gathered around the table. When someone stands up and says, next year there will be a, brand new mom in our family, there's nothing like it. But for some women, Mother's Day feels very different. Instead of celebrating, they're carrying a secret. Afraid, unsure, alone. That's why preborn exists. Because when a woman sees her baby on an ultrasound and hears that tiny heartbeat, it doubles the chance she'll choose life. I couldn't imagine my life without him because of, them. He's here. We're gonna get through it and it's gonna be okay. Preborn empowers women to become mothers. Just $28 provides one ultrasound. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250, baby. Or donate [email protected]/AFR, that's preborn.com/AFR Still by Hillary Scott you're parting water, making a way for me. You're moving mountains that I, I don't even see. You've answered my, prayer before I even speak. All you need for me to be is still. Welcome back, friends. That is still by Hillary Scott. And that's what I'm inviting you to be. To be still on this Friday. On this Friday. That's my kids say Friday. And we're talking about this week's healthy habit. We're just in week two of talking about technology and how much it is influencing our lives. And last week we talked about reading out loud. This week we're talking about being intentional about what we're watching together as a family and to really get a harness on that digital silo that our kids are living in. Your toddlers watch one show, your school age kids watch another. Your teens watch another. The parents, parents still another. And that's not inherently wrong, but you need to realize the impact of streaming. A different worldview for each one of your kids. And that's happening without us, really realizing it. We're just kind of sleeping on that. So let's recap where we are. Televisions move from the family to the bedroom. Entertainment became private. Then laptops, tablets, smartphones. Everything is individualized and, and personalized. And children no longer need permission to enter adult storylines. I remember, you know, when I was little, I would have to call when I was, we were going to watch a movie and say, can we watch this movie? And there were a couple of times where I couldn't and I sat in a different room with a book. Now it's just everybody's streaming everything. And that streaming economy is rewarding extremes. Extreme violence, sexuality, darker anti heroes blurred moral values. Cynicism is really valued over innocence and entertainment that pushes boundaries to stand out because you have an overcrowded market. So we're looking for that shock value. That is what is prized, and that's usually not what's best for us or for our kids. We also had On Demand that changed our human rhythms. The theater doesn't close, the episode doesn't end. The TV doesn't sign off for the night. Now you just have autoplay. Autoplay. You have an entire, you have binge watching. And many families are not just watching content occasionally. It's just you have this constant background stream of stimulation coming from your screen. The algorithms are replacing shared culture. This is so profound because we're not sharing the same Stories. We are hyper individualized. And two teenagers at the same school in the same class, sitting next to each other may live in entirely different digital worlds. Maybe one of them is into gaming, one of them is into influencers, one of them is into anime. And they have a completely different worldview. And the algorithms personalize what you think is funny. Your political views, your values, what you think is beautiful, what you think are the standards for morality and sexuality and identity. And the streaming platforms pull you deeper and deeper into what it seems like you prefer. We have different worldview ecosystems. This means that parents are no longer simply competing with culture broadly. You're competing with a hyper personalized media machine that is engineered specifically to your very child's preference. Not the preference of children collectively or generally, but your specific child. And now entertainment is identity formation. It used to be that a show was just meant to entertain. Now it functions as telling you what's moral, what your identity is, what emotions are valid, what can substitute your spiritual formation, what you should think politically, how you should conduct yourself in relationships. This is where young people are learning about love and family and gender and conflict and purpose and faith and truth and everything that's important. Not from parents, not from mentors, not from scriptures, not from churches, but from scripted entertainment. And that's why family movie night is no longer. It's not just about entertainment. This is discipleship. I'm inviting you to reclaim family movie night as a form of discipleship in your home, to reclaim the power of shared stories before the algorithm writes a script for your families. And the issue is not just good movies versus bad movies. The issue is who is shaping your family worldview. That is the issues. Because algorithms are not moral. Their goal is attention and engagement and emotional intensity. That's what they want, more viewing time. And the algorithm learns what shocks you, what excites you, what keeps you scrolling, what makes you curious. And it's going to feed you more of that without any concern whether this is good. Maybe you're going. Maybe your teen is going through a time of discouragement where they're just going through a feeling of darkness. Well, is that the best time to say, oh, you want darkness? We'll give you darkness. Let's stream and let's pull you into darker and darker and more shocking. That is not healthy. Maybe they need an antidote of light. But the algorithm is not going to say, oh, you know what, A crushed spirit dries up the bone. But, a laughter is good medicine. Let's give you something funny. The algorithm doesn't have that kind of wisdom that the algorithm doesn't have the Holy Spirit. So if we don't intentionally disciple media habits, culture is going to do it for us. Us advertisers will do it for us, influencers will do it for us. And we're giving up our homes to the algorithm while we're fighting for our rights as parents in the public square, we're giving them away in spades here in the home. And I think that a lot of parents would be really shocked to discover what their kids are really watching, what themes they are really absorbing, what creators are influencing them, and what conversations they're having about this with their peers. Now, here's the thing. You gotta know that lecturing rarely works. So when we start hearing stuff about this, we start to go, oh, did you hear this? We got, we gotta stop watching that. We gotta do this differently. This is horrible. We need to sit beside them, we need to see the world the way they do. We need to ask questions, we need to watch together. We need to stay curious and build trust. Say, hey, what is your favorite show right now? What is the show you love very much? And then you start watching that, that and start asking them about it. Co viewing media as a family is something that is lost. And I believe it is harming our kids. Because when you co view media, it opens conversations organically. It's easy just to talk about what you're all seeing together, to talk about the emotions that are happening, to create teachable moments, to create shared references and memories and allow gentle worldview guidance. You can ask, hey, what did you think about that character do that, that choice lead to healing or life? How'd that work out for them? What do you think? What message do you think that this story was trying to send? What? What message do you think that was? And often it can be really different.
What your kids see and what you see. Now, you can ask them questions about each movie
What your kids see and what you see. You can ask them, hey, how did this message? Did it reinforce or did it conflict with your biblical worldview? Where do you see redemption? How did this M movie make you feel? Did you feel better after watching it? Did you feel bad? Philippians 4. 8 is not about legalism. It's about guarding our hearts and our minds with intentionality. About. It's about sharing a worldview creation. Now, one thing that we did last summer, that was very low tech, and I've shared this before, but I had each one of my kids write down three of their favorite movies. Ish. And some of them, you know, we did more than that, but three different movies we Put them on a strip of paper, put them in a jar. Nobody knew what other movies had written down. And when we went to say, okay, we're going to watch a movie together as a family, you just pull one out of the jar and whatever it is, that's what we're watching. Which meant that people were pulled out of their comfort zone because maybe some people thought, oh, I don't necessarily want to watch that. You know, the girls thinking that's a boy movie, the boys are thinking that's a girl movie. But it taught us so much and it was a very low tech way because you know how that family movie night goes. It's what do you want to watch? I don't know, what do you want to watch? Well, let's see what's on. Well, let's scroll through. And two hours later all you've done is scroll titles and you don't know anything. But this strategy I loved because it stopped us from that scrolling, it made us not have decision fatigue. It kind of built anticipation because people were waiting for their movie to be picked. Gives everyone a little bit of ownership, gives us, all of you into each other's worlds and it created a little fun surprise. So you know, like I said, you've all spent that two hours trying to decide what to watch and then you don't watch anything. So let me give you some tips on creating some meaningful shared experiences and reclaiming family movie night for co viewing this summer. So for young kids or even older kids, pajamas and blankets. I think those are always a good idea. Like invite everybody to get in their pajamas, get your favorite blanket, come on down. Maybe if you want to get really creative, you could have some themed snacks, Let them try to guess the movie. That would be fun. Pause for questions, have some, have somebody, designate one of your kids to talk about about, to have a discussion afterwards and to say, hey, you get to decide what questions we get to discuss. And look for movies that have themes of kindness and courage and honesty and forgiveness and family healing. So those are, those are great. Look for some movies that are edifying. That is really, really helpful. It's interesting. I know that everybody has, ah, there are some very hot feelings about Disney out there. I'm not going to even go into that. But I will tell you that this summer they, their Toy Story sequel, which is of course that one of their most successful Pixar franchises. It's going to be really interesting. I'm going to watch how this is released closely because they have all of these neuroscientists that work for them. And the premise of this plot is going to be toys. Traditional toys have been replaced by the iPad, the dreaded iPad, and all of these technology screen based toys. It'll be really interesting to see how that rolls out. But the Prince of Egypt is a great movie to watch or even, you know, there's, there's so many good movies to watch. The old classic Winnie the Pooh is always a good one for little kids. But whatever it is, whatever you're watching, I encourage you to be discerning and to look and to make those decisions for your family. Some families will choose to stream something, some won't follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit. And always, always pre screen movies before you watch them with your kids and actually ask the Lord if this is right for your family. For families with tweens, look for movies that talk about identity and friendship and integrity and peer pressure. Some of those movies may be the Chronicles of Narnia and maybe Soul Surfer and maybe some. So there's a lot, my husband would say here now there's a lot of good sports movies that have good themes in them because there's no parenting problem you can't solve without a sports analogy. That's according to my husband. That's for free now for teens, choose films that provoke meaningful discussion rather than just shallow entertainment. Look at things like what are we trying to teach our kids about sacrifice, about purpose, about redemption, resilience. Two of the, the movies that we have featured here on the show that I would recommend to you for consideration would be Unsung Hero. That movie came out, a little while ago and it is the backstory of the band for King and Country. Definitely talks about a family being resilient, facing hardship, facing loss of all their financial things, facing trusting God. Another one that we featured was from Jon o'. Leary. This movie was called Soul on Fire. And that movie was about a young boy who was severely burned. For me as a pediatric nurse who has worked in a burn center, I still do not know to this day how he survived. But God. And that is also a great story about resilience and faith under pressure and hardship in life, but also coming out on the other side of it. So I can only imagine is another faith based film that could be really good especially for that teenage years and talking about hardship and brokenness and families and God's calling in your life. And for my husband, I'll throw out Remember the Titans because that's one of his all time favorites. But Again, look at it and screen for your family and know what you're going to recommend. But for adults and multi generational viewing, look at themes of legacy and forgiveness and enduring faith and suffering with hope. Things like It's a Wonderful Life. Any of the Kendrick brothers movies who have produced a tremendous series of faith based films? some. Maybe something like the Sound of Music that looks at the von Trapp family. Look at something that you can watch together. Schedule an intentional movie night. Preview the content beforehand. That is really important. Follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit in your family. Avoid anything that is passive binge watching. Discuss what you watch. Teach your children in a very natural way to recognize worldview messages that are there. Curate media for them instead of passively consuming it, and model healthy screen habits as adults. Because each story disciples us towards something. And the question is, what kinds of stories on screen are discipling your family? I can think of so many movie nights that my kids and I have enjoyed so much. And one that I remember very specifically was watching a movie called the Little Princess, which is based on a classic novel, of a girl who lost her father in war and she is waiting for him to come back. But looking at the emotional arc that, we all went on together, by the end, we're all sitting there crying together. It was really sweet and precious and we all just like had a moment, had a bonding moment, having been through that. But listen, you don't have to fear culture to engage it wisely. We can teach our children, we must teach our children discernment and wisdom and emotional awareness and most of all, media literacy. This is something they need to know. How do they choose what to watch and when to watch it, and how much of it to watch and how to, to filter that message that they're receiving. And we're not going to have that by withdrawing completely because we are surrounded by stories on screen. That is a new normal. But we can walk through those stories together. So remember back to Philippians. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, lovely, admirable. Think about such things. And the things we see on media are the things that we replay in our mind, minds. And when we watch movies that are picture perfect, that are, you know, nothing goes wrong, and it presents this, you know, fairy tale, then that can be hurtful too, because we can see. Okay, hey, life is hard sometimes.
Reclaim family movie night as discipleship time
So think about what message does your family need? So this week or this summer, I challenge you. Choose at least one uplifting film. Intentionally choose it. Ask your children's Minister for a recommendation. Get on your social media and ask for a recommendation for a faith based, faith inspired family film. Watch it together. Put your phones away. And my family, last summer we got a little cardboard box and we put them in there and we kept track of all the minutes we had together that we had reclaimed as a family. Talk about it, afterwards and reclaim story time as your family discipleship time. Reclaim that media movie night as discipleship. This is not just fun. Discipleship can be fun because healthy habits don't happen by accident. Healthy families aren't made on accident. It happens one intentional habit at a time. When we come back, I'll talk about some homefront headlines that are really fighting against us and how the social media platforms are designed to keep us hooked on them. But we can navigate these things with confidence. We can use tools that are set before us in a healthy way. I'll tell you how when we come back after the, break. I'll see you in just a minute.
Peter Rosenberger: While in the emergency room with my wife, as she was struggling with the COVID 19 virus herself. And I, I looked at her, I said, are you scared? And she said, a little bit, but I've been through worse. The certainty of mankind's history with uncertainty. An article by Peter Rosenberger. And then as her fever was approaching almost 103, she started singing. In Christ alone, I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross. And that's how she has anchored herself in the certainty of Christ through her huge medical journey that has included 80 surgeries, both of her legs amputated, 100 doctors have treated 12 hospitals, and now the COVID 19 virus. And so when we live with those kinds of uncertainties, anchoring ourselves in Christ, in Christ alone, that's the only place we can run to where there is certainty. To read this article and more, visit afa.net/thestand
Even If by MercyMe: I know you ain't bul al I know you can see through the fire with your mighty hand. But even if you don't, my hope is you alone. Dr. Jessica Peck Welcome back, friends. That is even if by mercy me and. And we're talking today about our healthy habit, which is intentionally watching uplifting movies with your family. We're starting in a 12 week series that we will have on Fridays talking about tech habits. And when I'm looking at Homefront headlines, these are headlines that I watch. I watch the news so you don't have to. We talk about how, what's happening and, why it's important for your family and how you should respond to it. And there are so many headlines about algorithm, about social media and these are things that we really need to pay attention to. So recently there was there's been a lot of news in the wake of the court, decision that found Meta responsible for its addictive nature of the platform is the accusation. And we see a lot of research and a lot of commentary talking about is social media addictive? Now there's a lot of semantics and word dancing that happens around that. But, but we know that we are increasingly recognizing by we, I'm talking about parents already know this, but researchers, lawmakers, courts, they are coming behind that with the, the, the structure to increasingly recognize that many social media platforms are intentionally designed. It's not the product, it's not the video that they're putting out there, it's the design of the platform to auto generate those videos and keep you on it to maximize engagement and compulsive use among. And so some of those features under scrutiny are the infinite scroll, it never gets to the bottom. The autoplay it's constantly playing. They would love it if you were on there 24 7. The algorithmic recommendations, which can be harmful, which can pull you into darker or more violent things or more harmful things for your mental health. They're looking at streak systems that reward engagement, these variable kinds of rewards for engaging with the platform and constant notifications. We'll be talking about the notifications specifically when we get to tech tidying, but we're not there yet. So the lawsuits and the state actions argue these systems contribute to anxiety, depression, compulsive use, sleep disruption, attention difficulties, emotional dysregulation. And all the parents are saying, yeah, we've seen this, we've seen this. But it takes the legal frameworks, the regulatory frameworks, time to build that framework around that, around our personal experience and what we're seeing now. Children, the takeaway for us as parents is that they are just not lacking self control against a neutral technology. This is something that is intentionally engineered to capture their attentions and keep users emotionally engaged. So in other words, this is not a fair fight. So when parents are fussing, when we're fussing at our kids and saying, why can't you pay attention? Why are you so irritable? Why are you so grumpy? And you freak out if I take away your device and you're not sleeping and you won't look me in the face and you're, you won't be bored, you can't be bored and you're so emotionally fragile. Well, that's what we're seeing is a consequence of this retraining our brain on media. It's a cultural shift because we're saying, okay, what happens? What is going to happen, parents, because this is happening right now. What are you going to do when an algorithm can outpace and outperform you in learning your child? When an algorithm knows your child better than you do in a functional sense, and what their preferences are and what they like and what they have scheduled. That is a scary reality. So how can we respond? Well, delay smartphones and social media as much as you can. Be that parent, say no, not yet. That is a perfectly good thing to do in the context of a healthy relationship. And we'll talk about how to create some tech free zones. for my family is the bedroom, the dinner table and the car. And during family time, if we're having family time, it's not a time for phones. We need to start teaching our children what an algorithm is, that it's a robot that is here that can help me, but is not a person and does not care about me. We also need to normalize boredom, normalize creativity. And I know creativity is messy, but we need to normalize boredom and let kids figure out what to do without a screen. That's when they'll start building forts or all kinds of adventures and playing all kinds of make believe games that are so good to work out that part of their brain that is not working out very much. But the other things that we need to prioritize because screen is stealing time from sleep, from exercise and moving, just moving our bodies from face to face friendships and family conversations. Technology is a tool. We cannot let it be our master. And of course we see this rise of smartphone use inextricably tied to the mental health crisis among young people. And I've seen some reports that the health day, from health day, this was a report that I saw it from, that there is rising depression, specifically among college students. Now I don't think that this is any coincidence that these are the college students who went through Covid. We're starting to see this increase in depression among college students. And these were the students who all experienced COVID lockdowns to some extent. And but we look at this and see this has been happening even before that. This was a 15 year study that found dramatic increases in depression symptoms among U.S. college students. This started in 2007, 2007 to 2022. We're talking about increases in suicidal ideation restlessness, concentration problems, emotional distress. Now we did see that the launch of 988, which is the national crisis Hotline, the National Suicide Crisis Hotline. It has been effective in preventing youth suicide and every life saved. I praise God for. I'm so grateful for that. So that is a national hotline that is available 988. Much you would call it in an emotional or men mental health emergency, much like you would call 911 in a physical health emergency. But mental health struggles are no longer isolated or rare among young people. I mean we're seeing across the board loneliness and fear and hopelessness and social exhaustion and, and just tiring of, feeling like we have to be perfect. And today's kids are overstimulated but under supported relationally. So families have to understand mental health struggles are not a moral failure. Emotional pain is not a weakness. But early intervention matters and connection counts. We've got to work on building emotionally safe homes in a digitally unsafe world. Children need a home where they feel like they can talk about their feelings. They're not ashamed when they struggle, that help seeking is normalized. It's great. And vulnerability is welcomed. So ask deeper questions beyond how was your day? Like, say, tell me about your day. Just start with that small shift and don't do it right at the minute they walk in the door. Let them have a snack, let them have a little breath, let them have a little cool down. But watch for things like social withdrawal, emotional withdrawal, sleep changes, isolation. Pursue them them and seek counseling early if it is needed. That is really, really important.
College students are starting to come home for the summer so expect an adjustment period
So let me talk of especially because this was college students and college students are starting to come home for the summer. If you have a college student coming home, if you know a college student coming home, then just expect an adjustment period. Know that things might have changed a little bit since they last lived under the same roof. They may, you know, come home with some baggage, with some things that they, they've carried that maybe you don't know about yet. So make those first few days just a little bit of a breather and then just tell them when they come home, hey, I want you to rest. I want you to relax. I want you to really just adjust back to being home. Next week, you and I will go out to lunch and we'll talk about expectations for the rest of the summer. Set that expectation early. Remember, they've been living independently and making their own decisions. And so how do we respect that growing autonomy when all of a sudden they come back? But I need to know when you're going to be home because I want to make sure the garage is shut before I go to bed. Clearly communicate those expectations early. Whether it's curfew or car use or their chores or whether or not you expect them to work or how much you expect them to work or if they can invite guests in the house or what are the shared spaces and what are the spaces that are private? Like please, you know, warn me if somebody is coming over so I'm not in my bathrobe. Don't assume they want to pack summer schedul. Lot of times they feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. One of the things that you can do for especially for college kids is feed them. Feed them and they will come. There is such deep ministry and favorite meals or snacks or a stocked refrigerator. Especially if they've been living in a dorm and eating out of a cafeteria, a home cooked meal will go a really long way. Give them a little extra margin for sleep, for decompression. I know it's so hard for us saying like get up, why don't you get up, I want to see you. Or are you just going to sleep all day? Give them some expectations about that. Another thing that's really helpful is try not to comment too much on their appearance, on their habits, on their friend groups. Choose your battles, choose your battles. Choose what you want to ask about or complain about what are the top three non negotiables and then maybe let the other things be for a little later and ask some questions. They are really wanting to share their experience. So especially for grandparents, just ask questions like, hey, what was the hardest thing this semester? What was the best thing that happened to you this semester? What surprised you about college? How do you think you've changed since you've left home? Ask these kinds of questions instead of the interrogation kind of questions that we feel a lot of times more comfortable with. Some college students, they come home carrying loneliness and maybe they feel the pressures of how they did perform academically or didn't, or the relationship struggles they tried to figure out or the faith questions that they had or anxiety about the future. Home should be physically comfortable, but it should also be emotionally safe. And I can't tell you how much Gen Z is longing for adults to invite them into adult conversation and decision making and to really be curious about the way that they see the world and to have some conversations. So some low pressure connection points are going out for coffee or just having coffee together at home, having a late night talk, put a snack in the oven they'll come and say, what are you making? Why are you making snacks at 11 o'? Clock? And you never know, maybe you'll have a great conversation. Invite them to run errands with you, could go on walk or movie night like we talked about before. Tell them they can invite their friends. Don't panic. They spend a lot of time with their friends. Initially, it can be tough to reenter into family life. But college students need your encouragement. So if you don't have a college student but you go to church and you start to see faces, come back for the summer. Engage them, tell them you're glad to see them. Tell them that they were missed when they were gone and that you're so happy that they're back in their church home for the summer. And invite them to tell you about what they learned, how college strengthened or challenged their faith and what they learned, learned. They want this connection, I'm telling you, it's so meaningful. And help them to do meaningful things rather than just to be tempted to scroll. Don't tell them, get off your phone, get off your phone, get off your phone. Tell them, hey, you want to come serve with me? You want to come walk with me? Want to eat dinner with me? You want to read a book with me? Want to start a book club? Do you want to go on a trip with me or pick up a hobby together, those kinds of things. We can help them use conversation to think about. What are your goals this summer? Where do you want to work? What do you want to do? What do you see yourself in a year or five years? Those can be open ended questions that we can ask rather than are you dating anyone? Are you planning to date anyone? What are you going to do when you graduate? How are you going to make money? Sometimes that can be difficult. But teenagers, Gen Z, they want to talk with mentors about finances, about their calling, about their vocation, about dating, about faith, about responsibility. So give them opportunities to do that.
Meta patent describes AI system capable of simulating user's online presence after death
One of the challenges for college students and other students alike is that AI is blurring reality. Now I want to talk about this last story as we close our time together here. I think this is all I'll have time for. This is a story. Okay, there. Meta has received a patent. You may have seen this portrayed on some TV shows, shows that describes AI systems capable of simulating a user's online presence even after death. Okay, so what does this mean? This means that say I have Facebook, okay, Or I, I could. And, and somebody passes away, somebody has a Facebook profile and they Pass away. AI can come in there and act like they're still alive, can post videos of like, what they think that they would say based on all of the information they have about them. Can just start, keep posting actively like an avatar, even after they've passed away. And then you're able to. To interact with them. This seems like it is like a science fiction movie. This is. This is crazy. But what happens when technology begins imitating human identity? We have kids who may have a. Have trouble telling between what is authentic, what's artificial, what is ethical, what's not, like, what does this absolutely mean? We need to be having conversations about all of these changes that are happening in the tech space. Having eye contact, having physical presence, having shared experiences and spiritual grounding. We need to teach our kids that human beings are more than just data patterns. They're more than just algorithmic information to generate a entity that is like you. We are made in the image of God. That is so important for our kids to know that, that we need to teach them critical thinking about AI. Talk about ethics, talk about these things that happened. Artificial connection. AI can never fully replace human presence in the way that God designed families. Now these families. These headlines can feel overwhelming, but they remind us that families matter more than ever. In a culture that's driven by algorithms and outrage and comparison and digital overload, healthy homes become places of emotional protection and formation. Kids don't need perfect families, but they need present adults, present parents who are emotionally available, who will have honest conversations and consistently connect. The deepest needs of children have to be seen to be known, to be loved and to belong. And you belong here. And I pray as you listen and prayerfully consider these things that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. I'll see you here Monday.
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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.