Hamilton: God has called us to be ambassadors even in this dark moment

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Darkness is not an affirmative force. It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: This is the, Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite, delivering people

>> Abraham Hamilton III: out of the bondage of mainstream media and the philosophies of this world.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: God has called you and me to be his ambassadors, even in this dark moment. Let's not miss our moment.

If we would welcome God to grasp a hold of us in our families

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And now, the Hamilton Corner.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Good evening, everyone. Welcome to the Hamilton Corner. My name is Abraham Hamilton iii. I am the host of this program, joined by producer extraordinaire who is often imitated, but never duplicated. You know, doesn't they say imitation is the zenith of flattery? Often imitated, never duplicated. It's the real J. Mac. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. M. Jeff McIntosh. And we are ready to rock and roll with today's edition of the program. At this very moment, many of you, if most of you, are making your transition from your part time jobs where you generate an income, to your full time jobs where you cultivate an outcome. And as you do so, I want to remind you to do so with intentionality, understanding the primacy that God places on family. It is, something I contend and assert with frequency. If we would welcome God to grasp a hold of us in our families, there's no question as to what could happen societally. Now, I don't say that so that the society can be our primary focal point. No, no, no, no. I say that as an encouragement to welcome the Lord to grasp us in our families. I'll never forget there was a, there was a seasoned preacher who said, I was praying for revival, crying out to the Lord desperately for revival. And I realized, oh, I need to put some feet to this. So I drew a circle and I say, lord, by your grace, would you please revive everything in that circle? And then I stepped inside the circle. What the preacher was saying was that he recognized that he needed the Lord to move in him first and foremost before he sought to, be a vessel through whom the Lord would move to impact others? And this is what I mean when I say if we would welcome the Lord to grasp a hold of us and our families. You know, are we welcoming the Lord to lead us and guide us by his spirit in our homes? Are we fathers leading our family spiritually? Are we not saying that we are doing it? Not even acknowledging that we should do it? No. Are we doing it? Some practical self examination questions? Do we open the Lord's word,

>> Abraham Hamilton III: read

>> Abraham Hamilton III: the Lord's word, convey the truth? Of God's Word in our homes? Are we washing our wives with the water of the Word? Are we offering our children pedagogical instruction from God's holy word in our homes? Are we praying with our wives and our children? Are m. We. Are we. Are we utilizing God's word to govern us as we make decisions for the family and when we communicate decisions for the family, that we anchor that communication in truth of God's word and revelation from his scripture. These are things that are features of leading our family spiritually. We had a brother not too long ago in our. In our local church. And, his. His job announced that he would be facing termination soon. You know, and this, brother was wrestling with it. He was a sole and primary breadwinner for the family, and he was wrestling with that idea. they had made the commitment to disciple their children from the home, including cultivating their mind that many would call homeschooling. And, his wife was fully on board with that vision, and they had been doing it for several years. And now all of a sudden, his job dried up. What does he do? Well, one of the first things he did was cry out to the Lord in prayer to ask God to lead him and guide him into the next. The next steps. The next thing he did after that, talked to his wife about the reality, invited her to join him in praying. The next thing he did after that, he contacted me, told me what was going on and told the men in our fellowship, what was going on and asked for prayer. Then there was one particular point, where he was trying to determine whether or not to include his young children in. In on what was going on. And some people told him, no, he shouldn't tell his young children what was happening. but man, he sensed by the. By the spirit of God that, no, he. He needed to involve them in what was happening because his faith was in the Lord. And he said so. So that when God opens the next door for us, I want them to know up front that it was God who opened this next door. And I want them to be involved in the journey with me. The young children, the boys, sons, I guess I'm going. They were very, very young. You know what I'm saying? I'm thinking like, you know, 10 and 8 something thereabout. And then he asked me, you know, brother, what do you think? Do you think I made a bad choice in involving my sons? And I said, no, my brother, you made the right choice. You know, your sons need to know that this Christ following life is Real and there are peaks and their valleys. And this is one of the things that God is giving you an opportunity to give your sons a tangible reference point for them to be able to come to know that our God is our Father, who is also a provider. He said, thank you, brother, for that encouragement. So we prayed together week after week, week after week, week after week. He's putting in applications all over the country, different places. Thought some things were promising. They didn't, they didn't pan out. Time went on. You know, his wife got a little anxious at some points, he got a little anxious at some points. But we continue collectively. When I say we, I mean he and I, he with the men in our fellowship. And he leading his family, praying consistently, seeking the Lord for direction. Well, as you would have it, the Lord opens the door. One interview, second interview, third interview. Actually the best circumstance, even more than he actually asked for. He gets, gets the job. Sad for me because he had to move away, but happy for me because we rejoice with those who rejoice. And I rejoice with him, his wife and his sons. Because his sons had a front row, not only seat, front row participation, because they were involved in praying. Lord, open the door for us.

That's leading your family spiritually, man. So are we leading

Lord, open the door for dad. And they were able to see that God still answers prayer, you know, so it was wise for him to include them in that. That's leading your family spiritually, man. It's not always going to be pretty. It's not always going to be flowery beds of ease, but the God that we serve is faithful. So are we leading? Brothers, you can talk about leading or you can lead to the word of God. We go.

Proverbs, chapter 15. This is a portion of wisdom literature

Proverbs, chapter 15. Proverbs, chapter 15, verses 1 and 2. This is a portion of wisdom literature. And I'm going to read the text and then I'm going to have some questions for us as we walk through this. Proverbs, chapter 15, verses 1 and 2. And this is what God's holy word says. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. I read it again. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. I want you to pair the two phrases from these two verses in your minds right now. The first phrase, a soft answer from the beginning of verse one in chapter 15. The second phrase, the mouths of fools, is the second phrase I want you to. To consider now with those two phrases in mind, a soft answer, the mouths of fools. Do you think this verse, when it says a soft answer, turns away wrath? Does the reference to softness is that saying that an answer offered in a soft vocal tone turns away wrath? Is this text primarily or exclusively about the tone of voice that is employed when an answer is offered, or is there more included in the considerations here? I've kind of already given you a hint when I encourage you to pair two phrases. What are the phrases? Again, a soft answer was the next one. The mouths of fools. Very often I've heard people minimalistically trans Interpret this scripture to think, oh, this is about. I just need to make sure, in a heated moment, to make sure that I'm speaking in a soft manner to which I would say, well, vocal tone certainly would be included in the concept. And if you delve into the Hebrew, the Hebrew word rock, will, will, will give you more expansiveness. But some translations, the English translations transliterate the Hebrew term here as a gentle answer, not merely a lowered, lower vocal tone. You know, it's not like, you know, I guess we say stage three. Micah Jackson. Bubbles, Come here, Bubbles. No, that's not. The softness that is envisioned here is not limited to tone of voice. Softness employed here is placing a responsibility on the answerer, on the responder, to do a little bit of digging internally, a bit of a deeper dive before an answer is offered. Because the softness or the gentleness that the scripture has envisioned here is a softness and gentleness that corresponds to wisdom. Remember the phrases, A, soft answer turns away wrath, the mouths of fools. What the softness is indicating is that the answerer should be one who answers with a mouth of wisdom. Everybody with me on that. So the softness that is envisioned here is not merely considering vocal tone. It is one that is given to. In this moment where an answer is necessary, that this moment must be steeped. This answer, I'm sorry, in this moment must be steeped in wisdom. Well, then how do you assess the answer being one that is steeped in wisdom? Well, the very first thing that I would offer for your consideration is that the cultivation of wisdom is something that doesn't just start in the moment where answer is needed. The cultivation of what is necessary in the moment doesn't begin in the moment. It precedes the moment. So there's a bit of diligence and studiousness that is necessary before the moment of required answer arises. What are some of the considerations? First and foremost, who am I talking To. And I'm sharing this because unintentionally, and it's important for us to note, it's not the mouths of the mean that pour forth folly. It's not the mouths of the evil that pour forth folly. It's the mouths of the fools. Very often there is ignorance that manifests itself in words. And that ignorance is what the scripture recognizes as a harsh word. Let's read verse one again. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Similar to the earlier query. Does harsh harshness in this verse mean a word spoken with a bitter vocal tone? You know, you can have a scenario where something occurs, and you can very softly, in vocal tone say, oh, I wish you weren't so stupid. Would that be a soft answer, though it's spoken in a soft vocal tone? No, no, that's not a soft answer.

The way we use our words undermines the vibrant intimacy we desire with spouses

Why am I bringing all of this out? I'm bringing all of this out because it applies to relationships in general. But in particular, I am, concerned about marriages. And very often we don't recognize. But the way we use our words are often tools that the enemy uses ultimately to weaponize an interruption, if not an utter decimation of. Of intimacy between spouses. All right, intimacy is far more expansive and superior to mere physical intimacy. But very often the way we use our words undermines the vibrant intimacy we truly desire with our spouses. And we don't even recognize it. We don't even recognize it. The softness in the answer that is envisioned here is an answer that is steeped in a wisdom. And the environment in which that wisdom is cultivated is that the answerer is far more invested in the construction, the edification, the affirmation, and the substantive Christ likeness of the one to whom we're answering. To say it differently, when the moment arises where the potential exists for me to offer a harsh answer that stirs up anger or a soft answer that turns away wrath. My investment of, primary commitment must be in the one to whom I am answering. And so I want to invite you. Man, this music is disrespectful. I want to invite you to cultivate an internal disposition of wisdom that precedes the moments when you need to offer an answer and when you're. Your words leave your lips that the engine that carries them forward is an overwhelming sense of love for God and love for your spouse to where the words themselves are not the only thing that's communicating the manner in which they are delivered. The love of Christ is what oozes through the Communication. This is the softness of answer that is envisioned in Proverbs 15:1.

>> Walker Wildmon: When you look at the fundamental priorities that this administration has, rebuilding the American family through the various priorities, ensuring religious freedom is alive and well and flourishing in America, having a Department of justice that is actually focused on enforcing the laws of the land, I have a hard time time disagreeing with any of them.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Join Walker Wildmon and Rick Greene at the core. 1pm Central, weekdays on AFR or on the AFR app.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Shining light into the darkness. This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

Next week Abraham Hamilton will be ministering at Darbone Church in Louisiana

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton iii. Here, let's. I want to remind you that next Friday, August 7th, the 7th, 8th and 9th, that I will be ministering at Darbone Church of Christ in Farmerville, Louis, Louisiana. we've been there several times in the past, and it's just amazing. They keep welcoming us back, you know, I don't know. They. I guess they like us a little bit. we certainly love them. So, looking forward to being there for that. If you're in the area in North Louisiana or willing to come to Darbone, Church of Christ, you are welcome to join us. There's no charge for any of the services. We'll begin Friday evening. There'll be a Saturday evening service, and then, Sunday morning I will be ministering at the church as well. You, are welcome to come. I'd love to meet you, hug some necks, meet some folks. and this is one of the things, man, I so enjoy. We get to get a little glimpse on this side of eternity of what we'll get to enjoy, forever in, the tangible presence of Our Lord. So, August 7th, 8th and 9th at Darbone Church of Christ in Farmerville, Louisiana. You are invited.

Maria Hamilton: A soft answer turns away wrath in relationship

All right. In the first segment, talked quite a bit about a soft answer, turning away wrath. And I have with me my favorite guest of all time, of course, my lovely wife, Maria Hamilton the first, who is here. Thank you for joining me on the program.

>> Maria Hamilton: Thank you for having me, babe.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: you were in studio with me and you heard a lot of what we discussed. In the first segment, you mentioned that as you were listening to me talk about Proverbs 15:1 2, that the Lord brought a scripture to your mind immediately. you want to share a little bit about that?

>> Maria Hamilton: Do you want me to read the whole thing? Because that one verse is, quite direct. It's, Matthew 12:34. And Jesus says, you brood of vipers, how can you speak good when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: How can you speak good when you are evil? Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

>> Maria Hamilton: So I thought of that because, first of all, the fact that Jesus is very direct and he calls it like it is. Right. The evil in man's heart. So when you're talking about a soft answer turns away wrath in relationship, especially the closer relationships like marriage, we don't consider ourselves evil when we are not guarding our tongues, when we are not being intentional with how we speak and how we communicate. and so. But Jesus is very direct. He calls it evil when we are reckless with our, with our words. And, and then I thought about when you said, you know, it's not like in the moment you're able to respond in a godly manner. This is, this is a heart cultivation. This is a heart condition. This is a. Something that is done behind the scenes, if you will, before you ever get to the point where you have to respond, and so out of the abundance of the heart, like what is in our hearts toward our spouse, that leads us to communicate in whichever way we communicate, you know.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah. I've often described that verse that you just read from, from Matthew 12, and describing out of the wellspring of the heart. That's what the, The Greek text, the Greek words convey. Out of the. The. The. The wellspring of the heart. The mouth articulates m. Yeah.

>> Maria Hamilton: What is. What is found therein?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah. Sometimes people will say things and they'll say, well, I didn't mean that. And to which I often say, well, I'm not so sure you didn't mean it. You may not have meant the injury that was caused by what you said. You might not have meant the impact of what was stated by what you said, or you might not have. Might not have even meant to state what you said. But it does not mean what you said was not in your heart.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And I'm not saying that with a broad brush saying always the case, because there's sometimes where people state things and you misspeak. That is true. Especially like in my, my profession, I do a lot of talking. There are plenty of opportunities to say things less specifically or in artfully than when you went to say. But generally speaking, we mean the things that we.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, I just think it's a, it's, a lack of self, introspection, like a lack of really examining what am I believing, what am I thinking, what is it that is in my heart about this person that I am interacting with, engaging with, and when we don't do that, we actually are not aware that we have embraced ungodly ideas and thoughts about, especially in our marriage about our spouse. And that that can be very damaging, to a relationship.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah. And you know, often say marriage, is a mirror. And because of the closeness that we have in marriage, you and I specifically, I have the most frequent opportunities to hurt you and be hurt by you because of the closeness in our relationship. And oftentimes the reality is that the confines of the marital union serve as a mirror to help me to really see what's in me.

>> Maria Hamilton: M. Yeah, same.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And, and sometimes we don't want to deal with that.

Christian husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church

I was, I was, and I was going to bring this up in this context specifically as it applies to the way we use our words in our marriage. In Ephesians 5, 25 and 26, the apostle Paul is speaking by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. And he says this. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. This text man is so probing and convicting because it says that the consistent disposition of the husband. Now let's be clear what God requires of Christians who are husbands.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Because we know the world is going to world just like a Jerry's going to curl. But for the Christian husbands we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. When you pair this scripture with the Proverbs 15:1, a soft answer turns away wrath. What I said before and I'll use you and I as an example when we are conversing, including in heated moments, my primary focal point cannot be myself. My feelings, my expressions. I have an affirmative duty from the Lord to make sure my answer that by God's grace will be m a vehicle to turn away wrath. That you are my foremost consideration as I am m responding to you.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yes, but not generally. Right. Like not generally like because you're a woman or because you're not me. It's because you've known me like you've learned me. And it's not to excuse any flaws or sin that I have. Right. It's not like oh, she like it's not walking on eggshells. Right. We're not saying that like oh, don't say it this way because it's going to rubber the wrong way. It's not that it is a genuine sidestep truth either. Correct. Correct. that's very important. Right. Because sometimes we tend to, so that we don't like in the name of peacekeeping. And that's not biblical. but anyways, so the. You have known me like you've learned me and it comes with, you know, learning my past, what I've gone through, how I've, what have, what areas I've grown in, what areas I've struggled in all those things. And you know me so well that you're able to communicate in an effective manner, in a loving manner, in a, in a healing manner too as well.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You know well what you're saying also. And I know people might get frustrated with me, but look, here's reality that I endeavor to build my life on the, on the rock of God's word and also to build our marriage on the rock of God's word. What you're referring to is another biblical command to husbands. When the Bible, when the Lord says to the apostle Peter, first Peter, three, husbands, dwell with your wives in an understanding man.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So, so, so God gives me an affirmative responsibility that it is my duty, within the context of being, you know, Vodi Balcom's four P's, a protector and a provider and a priest and a prophet in my home. That has to be done within, in an environmental context where I am vested in the same self sacrificial way. Love you, loving you as Christ loved the church. I am vested, I have a command to be vested in learning you intimately. Who are you? What makes you tick? How has your past impacted you? How has your past shaped how you've come to the Lord? How has your relationship with the Lord refined your like? I have a duty to know you that intimately. So that when I have the privilege of engaging you verbally that going back to how it described Proverbs 15, that the softness of the answer is that it is a wisdom given by God that flows from me responding to God's command for me to know you.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And all of that should be involved in. When I use this thing that the apostle James says, it's a fiery member. If I can control this, control this tongue, I can control my whole person. I have to use this in such a manner where all of that God breathed investment in my wife is present in the words I use in relationship to you.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, yeah. A lot of times we hold our tongue instead of control it. Right. That's different. So sometimes when we unpack that.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Please.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. Because sometimes we think, man, I'm not saying that that's Going to stir up something, that's going to wake something up, that's going to rub the wrong way, that's going to be misunderstood, that's going to bring about. And we're afraid of what, what it can cause because of whatever fallenness exists in both parties. Right? But when the Lord says to control it, there is like we explain with fire all the time. There is a wonderful, very good use for fire. It is limited within a fireplace, if you will, because if not, it will burn the house. But it gives us warmth. We had an ice storm last year. It gives us warmth. We understand. Right. So there is a use for it. So our tongue is not to be withheld, like you said. It's not that we just, we just remove truth from the equation or we just hold our tongues in a sense of like not saying anything. There is truth to be told. We have to be affirmatively using our tongues, right? For edification, for building up, for restoring, for healing, for understanding, for communication. But there, there has to be a God centered Holy Spirit led use of the tongue. It is self control. It is not. Shut up. Right. There are going to be times when you will not say something out of wisdom because God is saying, saying it. But that shouldn't be like our default out of fear. It shouldn't be our default out of like, I just don't want to fight. Yeah, no, there has to be. We have to communicate. We're two different people. We have to be able to communicate, but it has to be done in a controlled manner, in a wise manner, you know, with edifying. I mean, and I don't know if you want to go into this, but we have plenty of stories and it's not even when we're arguing. Like, it's not even when we have, like when we're at odds, if you will, like when, you know, you think one way or I think another way and we, and we're kind of clashing. It's not just in those moments, it's in the joking moments, you know, in the, in the laughing moments, in the, you know, how, how far we gonna go with this joke, you know what I mean? To where it's at the expense of the other person. Those moments.

Not merely holding our tongues, but controlling our tongue. That was really profound what you said

That's when you have to arrest the tongue as well. It's not just in the, you know, in the fights or the disagreements.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That was really profound what you said. Not merely holding our tongues, but controlling our tongue.

>> Maria Hamilton: It's easier to hold it. You know what I mean? It's easier to be Like, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying nothing. Easier in the sense of. Like, this is what I mean. Easier in the sense. It's the same thing with parenting. It's easier to let a child slide when they're. When they're doing something wrong, because it takes m. More effort. It takes more discipline for the. For the person. For me, for example, if I am controlling my tongue and I just resort to not telling you nothing because I don't want to fight, then I am. it's easier for me because I don't have to be introspective. I don't have to govern. I don't have to depend on the Holy Spirit. I don't have to be wise. I just shut my mouth and move on to the next thing. What else I got to do in my day. You know what I mean? And that's easier, but it's not. It's not best. It doesn't produce the fruit of righteousness. It does not bring about healing.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And I would say it may seem easier in the moment, but over time.

>> Maria Hamilton: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You're digging yourself a hole. Amen.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah.

There are circumstances when I have to offer answers for us to others

In the understanding of the soft answer, turning away wrath, the answer is not only answers that are delivered to a counterpart. What I mean by that is there are times when there are circumstances why I have to offer answers for us to others.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. Oh, man. That's such a healing thing for me. It has been a healing thing for me personally.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And a softness is necessary to,

>> Abraham Hamilton III: govern those answers as well, because, again, because of our closeness, have the most frequent opportunity to wound or be wounded by you. So you just said the circumstances where I offer an answer for us to others, that. That has been a source of healing for you in certain ways. What do you mean?

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. So.

Women crave a unity that says, I'm for you. Like, we're in this together

So one of the things that women crave, and I, you know, I don't. I'm not every woman in the world.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: But you're not Chaka Khan.

>> Maria Hamilton: I'm not every woman. but. But I know the makeup. I know that how God made us. And there is a need for safety. There is a need for trust. There is a need for covering, that we have because God designed us that way. When he made Adam and Eve, he had that in mind. And so we crave that we, hopefully have it. Fathers growing up. And when we don't have it in our fathers, we are seeking that in men. and then when we get married, we can bring that into our marriages. But the reality is that we seek a safety a unity that says, I'm for you. Like, we're in this together. Right? And so. But it doesn't come from, like, a machismo. Like, I got the answer for us. Her opinion doesn't matter. It's just mine. and then here's our answer. As the Hamilton family know, that is perverted and twisted and abusive. There is communication that happens. You know, there is. There is coming together on. On what do we want to do here and what are we thinking here? And. And of course, we know. We. We. We go through all the scenarios and figure out what the. What the answer will be. And then when you give that presentation of, like, this is what we are doing, this is where we're going, whatever it is, and we can. We can talk to specifics. But, what it communicates to me is that the weight of life is not only on my shoulders. The weight of decision making is not only on my shoulders. The weight of. You know, it's kind of like when you. I envision, like, a. Like a military. You know, how, like, in 300, where they have the shield and they interlock them, you know, and the shields. Are that your profession, right? Yes, that is a favorite movie. and the shields are interlocked, but. Well, it's up there. that shield is you, and I'm behind you see what I'm saying? And that, to me, bring. It gives me great comfort, and it's healing. Because before you, it was just me. You know what I mean? And I had to be the shield and the weapon and the fighter and the this and all of that against the enemy forces which, you know, spiritually are ever present. but so when. When you give a response, it's not just like, oh, you know, he's the spokesperson for the family, and I just need to chill. No, it's a protective measure. It is. We want this. We need this because we've talked about it. And that. That shield is very, important to me.

Todd Hamilton: Being the shield for your wife is a responsibility from God

I think for women as well, the

>> Abraham Hamilton III: clock is utterly disrespectful, because we're coming close to the end of this segment, and I'll start this now, and maybe we'll pick it up on the other side of the break. but one of the things I told you, and this is from scripture, some of the scriptures we referred to already, I said that when the Lord, by his grace, allowed me to take you to myself as my wife, it became my responsibility from m. The day we became one. To never put you in a position where you feel you are obligated to fend for yourself against the world, but also against me.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, yeah, that's very important.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: No, it is my responsibility, as this is a part of the protector responsibility that is not only like a defensive protection, but it is as we are advancing that I have the responsibility of being that shield for you. not in a humanistic, self aggrandizing fashion, but recognizing this is a part of the role that I have in your life. Like the, the being the shield is not merely to accomplish whatever tasks are occurring external to our family unit. Yeah. But it's also cultivating and covering you at the exact same time. Yes, that's my responsibility and that is my, my continued duty. And the way that I use my words will reflect my willingness or the lack thereof, to man that duty.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's a mandate from God.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It's a mandate from God. We'll dig into this a bit more when we come back from this break. You're listening to the Hamilton's corner.

>> Walker Wildmon: Jesus Christ never once said, you delusion defines you. Keep it up. Christ, in fact, peeled the scales away from Paul's eyes. Paul identified as a judge and jury theologically to go out and kill Christians. And then Jesus struck him blind on the road, introduced himself, I'm Christ who you're crucifying, peeled the scales back, and Paul never returned to that life of sin.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Hear Todd Herman on a disciples view

>> Walker Wildmon: weekdays 12:00pm M. Central on AFR.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: The Hamilton quarter podcast and one minute commentaries are available at afr.net back to the Hamilton corner on American Family Radio.

Abraham Hamilton welcomes you to the Hamilton Corner to discuss marriage

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton iii here with my lovely wife Maria Hamilton the first. And you know, one of the things I want to say, man, is I'm not trying to sit here and present myself and we're not trying to present ourselves as if we are the standard. more than anything, what we're seeking to do is to really just welcome you all to, to see an illustration as to how we endeavor to apply the scripture in our own lives and then welcome the, the Lord to move you to see how you may want to apply the scripture, to your lives in marriage. Because man, marriage is under such attack.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And people are coming away with conclusions and deducing things that simply don't align with Scripture. That in all things, the word of God is the, is the final authority in all matters of life, on all matters of life, doctrine and practice. And that includes our marriages.

>> Maria Hamilton: You know, it's, but it's a mandate though. Like it's Not. This is not like an optional thing like, husbands, cover your wives. Husbands love your wife like Christ loved the church he gave himself for.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That's a command.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's a command. That's a command. So, you call it mansing, but, like, it's like, men, take your position, you know, and you're taking your position, and you have flaws, and there are areas where you. Where you grow in, and the Lord matures you, and everything commits you of sin. Man, we're in this together, though, you know, and as you're growing, I'm growing, and the Lord is convicting me and showing me my errors and my flaws. And we're working together because that's the goal. The goal is to glorify God personally, in myself and in yourself, individually and then collectively together, we are one. And the oneness glorifies God. And nothing should separate. That nothing should separate.

Church members often ridicule each other in front of other people, Jeff says

The enemy comes in left and right with worldliness. And we have, as a church, unfortunately, generally speaking, embraced a, worldly understanding of how to engage with one another. It has been a worldly way. And we can go into some anecdotes, but one of the very common ones is that we ridicule each other in front of other people. It's just funny. It's funny because. And listen, Jeff will tell you, we clown. Like, we can clown. We can be funny.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I do not clown.

>> Walker Wildmon: I am always.

>> Maria Hamilton: No, don't believe him. do not believe.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Gentle about it. So.

>> Maria Hamilton: So it. We can be funny, and we know each other. So, you know, but we have to understand that when we mock each other to other people. Like, for example, if I am over here ridiculing you to other people, I am belittling you, and I am impacting that unity and that oneness and. Or exposing you to attacks. Just. But of course, the husband is the one when you cover me. It's been done the same way. It. How many times have husbands. And listen to me audio, if you're listening. How many times husbands have you ridiculed your wife for? How long she takes to the bathroom to get ready. Right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: To other people.

>> Maria Hamilton: To other people. To other people. Okay, so I was notorious for being late, and I. It was. I don't think it was because I was, like, taking too long trying to become. Come out of this bathroom, you know, stunning and beautiful. It wasn't that. It was.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Oh, baby, you wake up.

>> Maria Hamilton: Stop, stop. Look at him.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You wake up.

>> Maria Hamilton: It was not that. What it was.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You ain't got to prepare that. I come raw, natural.

>> Maria Hamilton: oh, what do I do now, y'? All? Okay, so thank you. The issue wasn't that my tardiness was disorganization. It was a lack of being orderly. The nights before, the more kids we had, the more, you know, I had to do, and the more we had to do together and the less the least. I mean, the way we didn't communicate as effectively. and so it was disorder in my mind, which is what made me want to run around in the morning trying to get everything done and not accomplishing it properly. And then we would be late. Right. So when we were late, it was a prime opportunity for the flesh and very common in our society for you, babe, to just go and say, man, you know why we was late. You know, we were late. Because she Don't. Because she just. She, you know, and exposing me. And I expected that. Because that's what people do, you know,

>> Abraham Hamilton III: expose you to ridicule from others. yes.

>> Maria Hamilton: Like, you know, it was. Yeah, it wasn't me, man.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah.

>> Maria Hamilton: Or comments like, man, I bet I was in the car waiting, you know, and here she come, 25 years later, talking about, we need to get there, or whatever. And so then. But then what does that bring about? First it brings about commentary from others like, yeah, you know how women are. Right. Disrespect. And then it more egregiously invites a. It increases my desire or had the potential to increase my. Increase my need to. Thank you. You have better words. I know. to increase my need for self protection. Right. Like, I needed to guard myself whether I thought it funny or not, or whether I could hang with this joke of like, yeah, you know, it was me, which I could probably hang with. It wouldn't, like, necessarily hurt my feelings to be exposed, but what it does is that it creates this environment where I can't really trust you.

>> Maria Hamilton: Because. Because anything that I do that is. That is funny or worthy of mockery, you're going to share.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Like, I'll be willing to go for the punchline, even at the expense for

>> Maria Hamilton: the laughter of the men and all

>> Abraham Hamilton III: that cultivation within you. Now this is. I need to.

>> Maria Hamilton: That's huge.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: To sit up and lean into this one for a moment.

Men often unintentionally communicate to their brides that they must protect themselves

Because this brings us back to Proverbs 15:1. Right. That's 16. Got one more page to go. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Verse 2. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. There are many men in that type of moment who do not recognize that this is an opportunity to either build intimacy, build confidence in our union, build trust in my. In our willing capacity to lay our lives down to protect our brides, or the reverse, to unintentionally communicate to our brides that, well, you know, if the circumstances are right, you will ultimately have to protect yourself.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

What does vulnerability create in a marriage? Intimacy

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Now, here's a question I want to ask you. And this is important for men to know and women too, because sometimes you feel it, my sisters, but can't articulate what you're feeling so intensely. What does that do to you? And how does that impact the maintenance of our intimacy? For you to be reminded with a tangible experience that conveys to you. You know, if the circumstances are right, you're going to have to protect yourself.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: So even when your husband is present.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You have to protect yourself.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah. So a lifetime of that, though. I know. Even against you. Right. So praise God. I've never had to do that. I'm so grateful. But many people experience that. And so what it builds in you is that we're in this together. Meaning we signed the paper back in whatever year, date we m got married. We're in this together. And we are, you know, we get along most of the time, and then we hold our tongue so that we don't fight, so that we're good. But then we're traveling in the same direction, but we're not really one, because what's been happening without us even really like, seeing it fully, is that we are developing. And I say we because if it is that you don't cover me in that way and you mock me and expose me, then I don't trust you. And that lack of trust is building. You know, even if I trust you in other areas, Right. Like, let's say I trust you with finances, but I don't trust you with these things that seem small for your heart. Yes. It builds this idea of, like, I don't trust you. There are certain times where I cannot trust you. So then. But then what has happened though, right? Because what happens has been for us in our marriage is that you said, we're late, period. Not we're late because we're late. I'm sorry. That we're late. Right. And what that communicates. And guys, we never. I never asked you for that. It was the Holy Spirit communicating to you from the beginning that your responsibility is to lead in that oneness, to protect it at all costs and to lead in that. So what it communicated to me in my heart was Oh, I can trust him. I don't care how many times I stumble and fall. I am safe. I'm safe. M. How many times my flaws are exposed. Personally, between you and I, I'm safe. So here's the thing. If my flaws. Because you live with me, so you see my flaws, right? If my flaws are exposed to you, they remain inside of you and I. They're not outside. Right. Which makes me more willing to be vulnerable. What does vulnerability create in a marriage? Intimacy. And what does intimacy look like? Emotional intimacy. I trust you with all of who I am in my thoughts, with my flaws, with my weaknesses, with my strengths, with my desires, my dreams. I trust you. It also translates to physical intimacy. I trust you with my body. I trust you with my mind and my. You know, my thoughts, my future. I trust you with my body. Physically, sexually. So it brings about a, oneness. But what has. What. What does that simple reality. Cause when you said, I'm sorry, we're late. It caused an internal, first of all, desire to want to honor God with my timeliness. Right? And, like, Lord help me to, like, honor you and honor my husband in the fact that he's protecting me here. But also it causes this, like, oh, it's him and I against the world. Oh, I don't want to cry. But, like, you're for me and I'm for you, and you protect me, and I protect you. Like, nobody's going to be talking about you negatively in my presence. No, this is you and I because we're one. And so it has protected. It has made it clear and evident that one of the chief priorities of our marriage is that we protect one another. That your, areas where are easy to be exploited by others or they can be easily mocked and ridiculed. No, sir, not in my presence. That's not happening. And likewise, you do that for me. So it just brings about an intimacy where I'm like, my happy place is you. My safety is you. That. And guys, this is not, like, put. We're not. We can't. I can't put, up a front to save my life. All right? The reality is that Abe is the My favorite person in the entire world. Like, I want to be with you all the time.

God's word says Christ likeness will impact quality of our unions

And I find not only the safety, the love, the nurture, Like, a sense of, like, I don't have another word, safety. But I enjoy you. Like, who you are is, like, enjoyable to me. But we have built that. We've built that because we've understood oneness.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Oh, man.

>> Maria Hamilton: By the grace of God. By the way, guys, like, we don't come from places where we saw this, okay? Like the Lord has revealed that to us.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah, I mean, and that's, that's important to note that it doesn't matter what your background is, where you came from. We all have them. Yeah, but God's word is still true. No matter where we coming, where we come from, God can refine and mature us into being more Christlike day by day by day. And that Christ likeness will impact the quality of our unions. And you know, I tell you that you're my favorite person. I mean it when I see my favorite guest. You're not only my favorite guest, you're my favorite person. People might think it's corny. I call you on my way home from work, even though I know I'm about to see you. But I like to talk to you on my drive home from work.

>> Maria Hamilton: And here's the thing that's rare, unfortunately, because the enemy has crept into our marriages. But it is not, it should not be rare. Like when we get married, like, it's not just like, let's like two to tango. Like it's two people that we're just going to come together and sign a contract and be like, oh yeah, do we work well together? Like we're co workers? No, we're supposed to be one. Like the oneness that God instituted in Genesis is extremely important. It is not supposed to be just co laborer. It is supposed to be an intimacy, an intimacy in person. Like we want to be like minded in the sense, like we want to be one. And so even with our different personalities and our different flavors, and you bring NewSong Orleans and I bring Puerto Rico and all this, but we are still one. And so I just think it's rare. But it's. When we, when we explain this, it's not like, oh man, that's pie in the sky. We can't reach it. Ah, no, because, the Lord says

>> Abraham Hamilton III: it's available to the peculiar.

>> Maria Hamilton: Amen.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: The reality is the life of the believer is rare in the world, but it's available. And that peculiarity should also be. Our marriages should be peculiar as well.

Tobin: Correcting a flaw in your marriage is constructive, not condemning

But I wanna revisit something, because you know, like in that instance, as I said earlier in the previous segment, a part of my responsibility is not to expose you to external fire. You know, between you and I, I know I knew at that stage, and I wanna say this was early on in our marriage. Ah, it did not persist in terms of your Tardiness. but. But I'm not going to allow the world to comment on that. Nor am I going to take this as an occasion to expose to the world that, oh, yes, I will aggrandize myself to make sure everybody else knows that I was not late, but my wife is the reason why. No, nobody will ever know that. Because you're more important to me than any other physical human being that's dying of the flesh.

>> Maria Hamilton: Dying to self. Right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It's dying to self and growing towards living out Ephesians 5:25, to love you as Christ loved the church. Yeah, but here's the thing. I'm not going to lie to you and say that tardiness is cool because it's not correct. But that's something we're going to work out behind closed doors between you and I. And what happens is by leading in that fashion, we create an environment to where, like you said, it's safe. It's not only safe between you and I, but it's also safe to correct this flaw that we need to address.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yes. Oh, and I want to. Exactly. Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Because the correction is constructive, not condemning.

>> Maria Hamilton: Amen.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It's not debilitating.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It's not destructive. It is edifying. And I am, gloriously excited to testify that that was very early in our marriage. And between she and I now, she's more likely to be the reason why we're punctual than me. You know, even though I am very punctual, I'm still very punctual and very things of that nature. But we worked out the flaw in truth behind closed doors. Nobody in the streets need to know nothing about that.

>> Maria Hamilton: Right?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That's between you and I. And, but that's important, fellas, because this is a part of dwelling with our wives in an understanding manner.

>> Maria Hamilton: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You know, one of the things that I told my wife is, you know, people say stuff about me all over the world, all over the country. I don't care. But what you say about me matters to me exponentially. Exponentially. And vice versa. You could have the world cracking jokes on you. But if I take the occasion to, big up myself at your expense in public in front of other people, that's destructive. That's destructive to you individually, but destructive to us as a human.

>> Maria Hamilton: And then God is not the intimacy. Right?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And then the Slytherin snake wizard withers in, winds into another garden with a. Did God surely say, yeah, our marriages are worth protecting?

>> Maria Hamilton: Amen. Amen.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Our, marriages are worth fighting for. Amen Let us contend with the grace of God to live the reality that this oneness is a living, breathing illustration of Christ and his bride and move toward the reality that. Man, I love kicking it with my wife more than anybody else in the world.

>> Maria Hamilton: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

0:00 - 15:00. Proverbs 15:1-2 (ESV). A soft answer turns away wrath. 

15:00 - 31:00. Wisdom is needed for matrimonial thriving.

31:00 - 48:00. The Christian witness must be present with the marital union.

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