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American Family Radio thanks preborn for supporting pro life advocacy

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, preborn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

This is an installment of the Declutter Diaries

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day with one of my favorite guests in one of your favorite series that we do. Yes, this means this is an installment of the Declutter Diaries. If you've been listening along, we actually started this last January. We've been doing it about a year and a half. I had intended to feature Kathi Lipp once a month for a year, but at the end of that year, I realized, oh, my, I'm just getting started on my own decluttering journey and I need some more help. And apparently you all did, too. So look for on Facebook, look for Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy. Now she spells her name K A T H I Kathi Lipp Clutter Free Academy. Tell her you're my friend. She will let you in for free. And you can join that group that is working on this even more so and you can go back and listen to any of the Declutter Diaries here. She will be with us in just a second to talk about something that I'm hearing a lot of parents talk about. Have you heard this word or this term? Are you ready? Maycember. Have you heard Maycember? I have seen it all over social media. I've heard moms talking about it. Basically, maysember is this term for a somewhat magical season between May 1 and the last day of school, where every parent suddenly becomes an, unpaid Uber driver, an event coordinator, a snack distributor, a costume designer, and an emotional support human. And people say summer is almost here. Really, that is just a myth that we're telling ourselves to survive the month of May. May feels like to me, December without the joy, without the pumpkin spice, without the Christmas movies, without the peppermint, without the hot cocoa. I mean, it's just at least in December we have some of those joys. And May is just sign up genius links and melted Capri suns and unexpected horrors found in lunchboxes that are coming home and and you feel like you get these notifications. Don't forget it's field day. It's neon day. It's bring two dozen individually wrapp treat day. It's teacher appreciation luncheon day. It's band banquet day. It's award ceremony, it's spirit week. It's volunteer opportunity which really feels like we're just being told volun told to do stuff. And at this point I think the school just spins a giant wheel every night and just decides what can we have parents do tomorrow? What can we add on there? And now we have spirit week that requires a master's degree in crafting. I mean it is just like you know, I, I was here seeing some reels and jokes. Like Tuesday is dress like your favorite historical figure who also represents inner resilience. And I barely have any of that myself. There's so many emails, there's so many last minute requests. There's so many things and we have emotional whiplash as well because all of a sudden it's like they come home, we start looking at the first day of school pictures. Oh, they're so grown. They're so big. I if so if you are with me, if you are a parent who is holding that, standing there holding a clipboard or a signup genius and one of your eyes is twitching and you're surviving on drive thru coffee and pajama drop offs like you're wearing your pajamas, somehow you are going to make it. So we are going to talk with Kathi about this end of year chaos and clutter that comes with it. Kathi, so glad to have you here. Thank you so much for joining us again and helping us along this journey.

Kathi Lipp: Well, you know that this is one of my favorite days of the month and yeah, Maysember, I've just heard about this recently but it is so, it is so for real isn't is like jinx. It's just wild. And let's be honest, most of your listeners are women. This is falling to the women in your audience for the most part. There are some great guys out there who are sharing the load but for so many of and I don't know where everybody thinks that we get this additional ability to have a part time job in May, but our part time job, you, you said it. Uber driver, you know, bakery chef, the list goes on and on and on and let's just say that doesn't count if maybe your kids have struggled in school and there's that aspect of it or Maybe, there is a physical limitation that your child has, or, let's be honest, you know, an emotional or social limitation that. That can bring up even more for our kids. And it brings up a lot for us. And so I think if we can just take. I feel like as it is with December, it is with May, that every. If we can take an hour and pull back and take a deep breath and plan a little bit, that's going to save us five to 10 hours when the rubber hits the road. And so this is your call and

Dr. Jessica Peck: you're going to tell us how to do it, you know, because I'm thinking about this, is a lot of physical clutter that comes in in May, Kathi. But it is a lot of emotional clutter, too. And there may be some families out there who think, man, I wish I was still in that stage of life. Well, if you are not in that stage of life yourself, listen, there are ways that you can bless and encourage those who are.

May is a stressful month for many parents with kids moving in and out

So, Kathi, I want to start off the show by bragging on my husband a little bit because I. I am in this May simber mode because I've got, you know, kids who are moving in and out and college transitions and all of that, so it doesn't end when they graduate. You know, I've seen a lot of what's fed to me in my social media is that, you know, dorm clean out, all of that. I feel all of that. And regardless, I'm just feeling the personal pressure of, okay, I'm about to have a lot of stuff come in my house when my kids come back and move in for the summer. So I was texting my husband and, man, you know, it was a little unhinged. It was just like. Like, here's a download of my brain. And as soon as I. I thought, why did I send that like that? That is just. That was not wise. I'm not going to get the reaction that I'm looking for. This is just going to make him stressed and make me, you know, feel like, why did I do that, Kathi? He texted me back and he said, man, that sounds crazy. What can I do to help? And I was like, oh, my gosh, you have just helped me so much right now. So I'm telling you, husbands, that is for free. I'm telling you. you know, we don't always get it right, but my husband got it right today. So if your wife texts you about all of this, May CR is. I'm just telling you, if you just tell her, hey, that Sounds crazy. That is a lot of stuff to handle. What can I do to help? Instead of, you'll get through it. It'll be fine. It's not that big of a deal. You don't have to worry about this. You put this on yourself. These are all some, some of the prior conversations that we have had. But, you know, which is true. And honestly, those things are true too. But I just wanted to give him a shout out for that.

Kathi Lipp: We love that rocket band. Knew what to do, took it off your plate. I love that. And often that is what will help us most in May, right? Just knowing that it's not all up, to us. And of course it's not because we have our child's teachers, we have sometimes other parents in that room. But if you live with other adults in your house, knowing that you're not alone is absolutely huge. It's not just knowing you're not alone, but actually having some of that burden relief.

One of the big points of conflict is bringing home the backpack and lunchbox

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know, that's one thing that I think is hard for moms to ask for help. And one of the things I think about is, you know, that end of year, like, little gift, like you're supposed to bring little treats or something. And Kathi, I'm not good at that kind of thing. I really am not. And so for a long time I would let it stress me out. And then my sweet, sweet, amazing sister in law, she's incredible at that. And she was like, let me do it for you. I would love to do this. And so she did it, and man, it was a win, win because she got to serve from her gift and I got to show at the school and be like, yeah, here, this, is what I brought. I didn't do any of it. So I think that we need to help each other out. And one of those big points of conflict that's about to hit a lot of homes, Kathi, is bringing home the backpack and the lunchbox after you've cleaned out the locker or the desk for the year. And we are talking about, like, broken headphones and crumpled papers and moldy oranges and it is going to send some mamas over the edge. So talk us off the cliff, Kathi.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah, so I think knowing that that backpack is going to come home in whatever condition it is, and I also, I want everybody to not feel guilty if, you know you're not going to use that lunchbox next year. If you were just limping along until the last day of school, you don't need to save it just in case it's okay, to pitch that if it's, if it's given you what it needs to give you and it's tired, throw it away. Now instead of having to make that decision in August when, you know, clear everything out, you can, and, well, you bring up something really important. The most important thing you can do is actually clean it out, because you don't. I have come to that. I have come back to that lunchbox that I was sure that was cleaned up. Let's make sure that that is a big old check mark. But I know your kid is so excited to forget about school and jump into summer, and so are you. But to really go through that backpack and just say, is there anything in here we need to keep? That's the question. Is there anything we need to keep? It's not what do we need to get rid of, it's what do we need to keep? And keep, you know, so you can curate exactly what you need instead of keeping it all and trying to find places for it. Is there a painting that you are art project that you really like, or is there a test you're really proud of? Or do we need to keep that George Washington Carver, book report? Because maybe you guys spent, you know, spent a lot of time and AI had no hand in it. You did it all. So I, I, I think it's precious to keep a little sample of their writing when they were in second grade, but you don't need to keep all the samples.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know what I'm thinking, Kathi? This might be really good because I'm thinking about as a mom and knowing how I am at the beginning of summer, I am, I am, like, ready to get to the end, but I'm ready for summer and I'm ready for some projects. And this sounds like this might be actually a fun thing that you could schedule for the beginning of summer is have a backpack, clean out time. Everybody brings their table, their backpack to the table, have some fun snacks. Give them an incentive. I'm not calling it a bribe. It's an incentive. Incentives are perfectly appropriate. Appropriate and say, once we finish this, you know, we'll go to the park. We'll go, you know, get, I, go get a special treat or whatever it is, you know, that you want to do. We can have a movie night. It doesn't have to cost you anything. But I'm thinking it would be great just to bring everybody to the table. Go ahead and put that on your calendar. Because as, a mom, I'm thinking it would be so nice to Know, like, do I need to get a lunchbox for next year? Do I need to be on the lookout for that? Or is this one going to be washed and ready to go? Do we need a new backpack? Or is this one going to be okay like you said? I really want to go back to that decision making, Kathi, because that's what this all comes down to. You just, I think we put it off because those decisions that come with the end of the school year and seeing some of those emotions, we're like, oh, I don't want to deal with that, so just stuff it in the backpack. But it's not going to make the decision making any easier when you come back to it. I think you'll be more frustrated when you're trying to pull it out from under the bed and then you find, oh, great, it's full of hands.

Kathi Lipp: Right? Well, and I, think that this is a perfect time to institute the phrase, in our family, we. So if in our family we buy a new backpack every year, just know that, you know, and there may be some other child who needs that backpack and your child doesn't need it. Or in our, family, we hand down our backpacks, but that means the younger child gets a say. You have to compromise on what that older kid is getting as a backpack because it's going to be theirs at some point. Or in our family, we don't have cartoons on our lunchbox because you're going to outgrow that in a year. So, like, what are. Or in our family, on, May 28th, what we're doing is we're cleaning out our backpacks. And if there's anything alive in there, mom doesn't deal with it, you do. And so just to say, hey, this is how we deal with things. Like one of ours was in our family in California. We have the mission report. It's a big deal here. It's like a three month report on one of the missions going up and down California. and so you, the kids would work on this for three months. The parents would also work on it for three months. You were building a mission, whether it was out of popsicle sticks or sugar cubes or pipe cleaner, whatever it was. And in our house, when we were done with it, we would display it until the grandparents came and then we would take a picture and it would go away. And so like, just, you know, that's

Dr. Jessica Peck: a great idea, Kathi. We're already at the first break. That is a great idea. We're just getting started. When we come back. Kathi, I want to talk to you about this may mental load audit where we're going to really name what's on our plate before it even buries us. We know the backpack is coming. We'll talk about some of those other ways that we can kind of scan and plan so that we are not taken off guard and lose our mind over clutter that drives us crazy in the summer. We'll be right back with more from Kathi Lipp. Find her on Facebook and we'll see you right after the break.

Preborn empowers women to become mothers through an ultrasound

Mother's Day, it's one of the most beautiful moments of the year to share life changing news. Maybe you've seen it, a family gathered around the table. When someone stands up and says next year there will be a brand new mom in our family, there's nothing like it. But for some women, Mother's Day feels very different. Instead of celebrating, they're carrying a secret. Afraid, unsure, alone. That's why preborn exists. Because when a woman sees her baby on an ultrasound and hears that tiny heartbeat, it doubles the chance she'll choose life. I couldn't imagine my life without him because of them. He's here. We're gonna get through it and it's gonna be okay. Preborn empowers women to become mothers. Just 28 dollars provides one ultrasound. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby. That's pound 250 baby. Or donate securely at preborn.com/AFR that's preborn.com/AFR

Hymn of Heaven by Phil Wickham: How I long to breathe the air of heaven where pain is gone and mercy fills the streets. To look upon the one who bled to save me and walk with him for all eternity. There will be a day when all will bow before him. There will be a day when death will be no more. Standing face to face with he who died and rose again. Holy, holy is the Lord.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Hymn of Heaven by Phil Wickham. definitely one of my favorite top 10 songs right now in my list of 142 songs that are squeezed into my top 10. I love that song and I love my guest today, Kathi Lipp. She is being so gracious. She is a cluttering expert, a decluttering expert and she is helping us on this series we're calling the Declutter Diaries. And today we're breaking down a phenomenon I'm hearing called May Sember. You know it, it is all of the emails about all of the end of year stuff and maybe you don't have K are in school, but you're getting the graduation invitations and you're going to graduation parties or end of year concerts. Maybe you're going to hear your grandchildren play the recorder in a group of, you know, hundreds of students, which who, thought that was a good idea, by the way. But every teacher, every coach, every booster club, every church group, every room parent. I mean, we are emailing like this is the Olympics, like this is a tough stuff here. And maybe your kids coming to you saying, hey, mom, tomorrow I need a poster board and six cupcakes and safety pins and green face paint and a shoe box. And you're like, okay, here we go. I mean, is this like, are you building tiny houses? Are we still doing dioramas? Like, what is this? And you think everything's got on the same night. Maybe you have choir concert and baseball tournament and you're trying to decide who goes well and who goes where. And your grocery bill is, you know, going crazy because you gotta buy 48 juice boxes. I mean, it is a lot of stuff. And we're talking to Kathi about this mental load. I mean, we know what's there, but we kind of just go into survival mode. How can we do better, Kathi, about planning for summer and taking care of some of this clutter that comes with all of these end of year activities and just taking an audit and naming what's on our plate before we just get steamrolled by it.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So I'm going to guess that most of our listeners here have their summer plans. They know what their kids are going to be doing. They know what they're doing, whether they're working and their kids are going to camp or everybody's going to be home and there's going to be some vacation Bible schools thrown in. You know what, we know what the plan is going to be. And so I really would love for you to take a step back and say, if this was similar to last year, what was the stressful part? Was it, the mornings where I was just trying to get humans out the door? Was it because there was no breakfast? Just look back or imagine forward. If this is new for you, what, what do you imagine? Like, is it going to be, I don't know what's going to be for dinner or, they're going on a different field trip every week. And so I need to plan for that. And so I think part of it is just imagining forward or thinking back, what's going to be the most stressful and what can I do in order to alleviate that stress. And more importantly, what can my partner do and what can my kiddos do? And every year your child should be gaining some responsibility. Obviously there are kids who have different levels. we take all of that into consideration. Absolutely. But can your 16 year old fill out most of the forms for summer camp and you just have to look over them and add in the doctor's name, etc. And then put the doctor's name on your kid's phone, send it to them so they have that for next time. Every year our kids should be growing in what they are able to do. I don't know if I've told this story here, Jessica, but when my daughter went off to college, she spent more time than she should have, her first week teaching other kids how to do laundry. Because so many of these kids were so focused on getting into school that they didn't do the stuff that the rest of us, you know, who maybe weren't as academically advanced were doing. And so we want our kids skills to grow with their age and so to think about, could they be learning some skills this summer as well? Can my 14 year old be cooking dinner once a week? Could my 8 year old learn how to sort all the laundry? So I want you to do things that, you know, at first are going to take way too much time. It's like so much easier to just do it yourself. But when your kids figure out, oh, mom's not giving up on this, I actually do have to cook dinner on Thursdays and, and eventually that will be a burden off of you for that one night a week. And so growing our kids, growing their skills, talking to your husband or wife, whoever, is listening right now and to say, this is what I'm going to need for this summer because your needs are going to shift. And so, let's make sure that not all that shifting lands on you.

Jessica says investing in kids' summer skills can help run a clutter free home

Dr. Jessica Peck: This is a really good food for thought because I'm thinking ahead and I'm thinking behind Kathi. I'm thinking back in my life and thinking ahead to what is going to happen in the lives of so many listeners this summer. And so much of what you're talking about with some of the clutter is when mom or dad feels like, you know, they have to put everything on themselves, like I've got to do everything and we're not leveraging our kids. And, and I don't say leveraging them, but really helping them develop. Ment they need that responsibility, they need that feeling of confidence and competence. Those are two of the seven Cs that are really the key building blocks of resilience. Like when we're looking at this from a scientific way, and you're so right in calling it out that at first it may take more time, but if you invest in that, then that's going to help you run a more clutter free home, especially going into the fall. I'm a big fan of poster boards. I know, I was just hating on the poster boards because we need one. When my kids were this age, Kathi, I just put a big giant poster board. It was not very tech friendly. And we would work on skills that each kid was learning during the summer. And even if they're just learning to make a simple meal like they're learning to make pancakes now, they can make pancakes themselves or they can make spaghetti or whatever it is, you know, just something simple that, hey, this is your meal. You know how to make it and you can make it and you can contribute. It's about evening, you know, the workload and having everybody contribute. But it really is about develop, about raising competent, confident kids who are learning life skills. And I feel like we're kind of losing that a little bit. So I think stalking now about making that a plan, incorporating that into some fun. I think that would be a great idea to do.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So, Jessica, you don't want to say the word leverage, as in leverage your child. I'll be happy to say it. Okay. Because our goal is to grow adults.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Yeah.

Kathi Lipp: And we also, it's supposed to get at least physically easier as our kids get older. And we want to get to the point where there is not a huge gap between, between the time they move out of the house and the time, you know what, living at home and moving out. There shouldn't be this huge learning gap. So if by the time they are 18 and say they may be going off to college and eventually they're going to be in an apartment with somebody else, or maybe they're going straight into a trade and their learning curve, they're going to be living someplace else. Can they know how to cook five different meals? Can they do their laundry without ruining their clothes? Can they clean up, clean, a kitchen, in a way that makes it not just by watching because you don't learn by osmosis, you learn by doing. And so all of those are going to contribute because by the time you have a 16 to 18 year old, you have in some ways not always another adult living with you. They're still teenagers, but they're fully capable of these things, and that's what we want for them. We don't want them to just be smart academically. We want them to be smart in household. This is also a great time during the summer to help them learn budgeting and budget. You know, do they. Do they have a little summer job or are you giving them X amount of dollars for them during the summer and to help them budget that, to say, hey, if you blow it all the first week, you're going to be really sad the last three weeks. So let's do. Let's figure out what four weeks in a month looks like.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, I'm sure my listeners think that I love to hate on AI, and I've been talking a lot about AI, artificial intelligence in the last year or so, and I will be talking about it quite a bit this summer. There are some benefits of AI, and one of the things that I'm really reading about, Kathi, is that AI might be an equalizer of sorts, like families who have more resources, who have more financial means, they're able to hire planners or, you know, even to the point of chefs or meal planners or, you know, just all of these kinds of resources that they may have to plan their lives and make them easier. And AI is a place where, as we're talking, Kathi, I think this might be helpful for parents as a starting point, you know, to go to AI and say, okay, help me brainstorm what life skills my kids need to learn. They're this, you know, they're this old, they're this age. Help me create a plan, a fun plan for helping them to develop these life skills that at the same time are going to minimize your frustration. Because, Kathi, I, you know, my, my cheeks will burn when I think about some of the ways I have just lost my mind over finding clean clothes in the dirty clothes hamper or, you know, finding clothes that I have washed and cleaned and then they're not put away, you know, or just all of those things where kids, if they learn to do those chores, when you walk into their room, their bed is made, their laundry hamper is taken care of. I mean, those are the kinds of things that give parents sanity and give them breathing room for connection and for fun. And so I would encourage parents to really think about what would it mean to invest in that this summer in a way that's fun, in a way that's incentivized, in a way that helps your kids to really contribute to the work of the family in a developmentally appropriate way, in A way that they should. Because I'll tell you, I'm in the stage of parenting where my kids are going off to college and my kids have, they know how to do their own laundry and all of those kinds of things. And they have called me, just rolling, telling me about trying to walk some of their, you know, dorm mates through, like, okay, you've never touched a washer before. Like, let's, let's go through the basics here and, and talk through this. But I think that would be a fun thing to do. How do you see that Kathi is contributing to a clutter free home?

Kathi Lipp: Oh, absolutely. I think the more that we are able to engage our kids in. Let's talk about preparing dinner. Right? preparing dinner also means cleaning up from dinner. And when they see the work that goes into that, they're going to start to see, oh, my goodness, I would rather do spaghetti, which technically could be done in one pot if you needed it to be, than, you know, something that's going to require a bunch of different dishes and, you know, all of that kind of stuff. It helps them think in new and strategic ways. I also think, everybody in my house remembers the day that I found, like you just said, folded clothes in my son's laundry. They all remember it. It was not my finest, parenting. It hurts, right? But what you, what you just did, my darling Justin, was throw away my time. And, yeah, you threw away my time. And so that will not happen again. We're, we're both going to make sure that doesn't happen again. So you will be creating clean clothes for yourself. And I just know when, and there's a learning curve, obviously, but when they can get to a point where they're doing a week's worth of clothes at one time, or maybe they're doing it twice a week, they're going to be more careful, about, can I wear those jeans again? maybe I don't throw my sweatshirt in there every single day. Maybe I don't throw the clean, folded clothes into the dirty clothes because I don't feel like it. And so when mom says, you need to clean out the drawers so you have a place to put those clothes away, they start to make those connections. Because before it was like, clean out the drawers. Why would I do that? But now when they say, oh, because I don't have a place to put my clothes right now, and some kids are going to get this sooner than the others. It's different learning curves for different kids. But they all eventually do get it because they all eventually have to do all these things on their own.

Time is the most precious commodity any parent has

Dr. Jessica Peck: you know, Kathi, there's always a therapy element when we talk. And I just wrote down what you said, because that is a major epiphany to me. I think that might be one of the most brilliant things you've said in all of our conversations. You threw away my time. That's why I was so angry. You know what? That actually makes me feel so much better because, you know, you beat yourself up and you think I didn't have self control, I didn't have patience, I didn't have kindness. And those things are all true. I mean, I wasn't patient, I wasn't kind, I didn't have self control. That is true. But the underlying reason is because it's our time. And, Kathi, time is the most precious commodity that any parent has. When we think about the time, I think it's 5,742 days from the time your child is. I don't know where. That just came from the back of my brain. I'll have to wow myself if that is right. I'll be really impressed with myself. But I think it is that. It's either 742 or 472, but it is a limited number of days that you have with your kids from the time that they're born till they turn 18. You've got 18 summers, you've got 18 Christmases, 18 birthdays. And in that time, we're trying to put food on the table and get them to soccer practice and get them to school and do all of the things that are necessary to help them thrive. But we want that time to connect. And when we. When they throw away the time, it says, hey, you. You don't realize how precious that is to me and how precious you are to me. I'm thinking of a million ways to reframe this. I am. I'm gonna need a minute, so y' all take a minute, too, and come back after the break. And we'll have more with Kathi Lipp.

American Family Association stands against enemies of God, the enemies of your family

Buddy Smith Jeff Chamblee: We live in a day when America's families are under attack like never before. Buddy Smith, senior vice president of the American Family Association. The war against biblical principles rages on numerous fronts. The Internet, Hollywood, Washington, D.C. america's corporate boardrooms, and the list goes on. At American Family association, we're committed to standing against the enemies of God, the enemies of your family. And we recognize it's an impossible task without God's favor and your partnership. Thank you for being faithful to pray for this ministry to give financially and to respond to our calls for activism. What you do on the home front is crucial to what we do on the battlefront. We praise God for your faithfulness and may he give us many victories in the battles ahead as we work together to restore our nation's biblical foundations.

In Jesus' Name by Darlene Zschech: God is fighting for us. God is on our side. He has overcome yes, he has overcome we will not be shaken we will not be moved Jesus, you are here M Carrying our burdens covering our shame he has overcome yes, he has overcome we will not be shaken we will not be moved Jesus, you are here I will live I will not die the rest Resurrection power of Christ Alive in me and I am free In Jesus name

Dr. Jessica Peck: welcome back, friends. That is in Jesus name by Darlene Zschech And I hope on, this Wednesday afternoon, it is lifting your spirits.

Declutter expert Kathy Lipp invites you to join her Facebook Academy

We are halfway through the week, and believe it or not, we're almost halfway through the month of May Sember. I cannot believe this. We're talking about this phenomenon where it seems like May is just as busy as December is, but there's no gingerbread cookies and there's no, you know, hot cocoa and Christmas movies and twinkle lights. And y' all know that I am all about Christmas. So I will say we are going to have a Christmas in July, but I will leave Christmas there. But it feels like we are in that kind of crunch. And I'm talking on, this installment of the Declutter Diaries with decluttering expert Kathi Lipp. And before I go on and before I forget, Kathi, because I will tell everybody. I've already told them, but you tell them how to get into your Facebook Academy.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So if you just search on Facebook, Clutter Free Academy, you'll. You. It'll pop up. Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy. And in there we have these discussions. We talk about, what are you doing here at the end of the school year? We talk about all these things because we just know that all of us are going through it at the same time. And people post their pictures, before and after. It's a wonderful, supportive, kind place, so we would love to have you there. Our doctor Nurse Mama listeners are the kindest people over there. They're so encouraging. We love to have you. So just ask to join and we'll ask you a couple of questions. Just say, doctor, nurse, mama, we're going to let you in, okay.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, my goodness. I love it. I. I love hearing that about my listeners. I know it to be true, but it's always nice when somebody else says it. So thank you so much for that invitation, Kathi. And, you know, ever since you said that, I'm going to go back to what you said before the break, because I was talking about this, this phenomenon that I think every mom can relate to. My producer's sitting here and she's like, yep, this is me. Just that moment where you find something that your kids haven't done, whether it's. It's stuff that is stuffed under the bed, like you think the room's clean, but then all of a sudden you look, and as you alluded to earlier, Kathi, like, there may or may not be furry critters or, or scaly critters that are underneath there. Or you look in the laundry basket, and the clean laundry that you've just washed and dried and folded is stuffed in there with the dirty clothes, meaning you're going to have to redo it. Or, you know, you go in the bathroom and you, you open the cabinet and everything's all gross and messy and you lose your mind. Every mom, I think, has been there. But you said something so powerful, Kathi. You said what you did, darling, was throw away my time. And sometimes they're throwing away time, and honestly, sometimes they're throwing away money. And when you're a mom and you're managing a household and money is tight and you see something that is ruined, something that is lost, and you're having to buy something else, and you know how tight your budget is. I have definitely been there. That can be really infuriating. And that just leads us all back to Kathi, what it means, how we really need to raise kids who are responsible, who do contribute in a developmentally appropriate way, what they're doing at chores. And even starting at 4 or 5, you know, kids can help to unload the dishwasher, they can put away silverware, they can sort that. They can help bring dirty laundry to the, to the laundry, room. And, and this may something you can even talk to your primary care provider about and say, like, okay, chores should my kid be able to do at this age? And there's lots of resources out there. But I talk about with parents about this all the time, like, what's realistic to expect them to be able to do because you want to set them up for success. But I'm thinking how this summer it might be really fun for some families to incentivize some life skills and then to be able to show those off to each other what they're able to do and contribute and keep track of the time that you're Having. And maybe that's the incentive is, hey, however many minutes you spend doing the chores here, that's how many minutes we'll set aside for fun days or, you know, to do something fun. I am all about incentives, Kathi. What else? What other words of wisdom do you have to add to us on this?

Kathi Lipp: Well, and I think there are some chores that you just do because you're part of a family. You know, those age appropriate. You know, those three things you do every day as a child because you are part of a family. But I also think if, if, there's a child maybe a little bit older who's actually taking a burden off to be able to say, I, I am, I was fine with paying my kids if, if I didn't have to, you know, do like, if we didn't have to take the car to be washed, we'll give you that money we get. I don't care how the car gets washed, but if you do it, you get the money. And so. And, a car wash is not cheap these days, at, least not where I, I think that there are so many things that we can do to say, hey, let's all be in this together. And I feel like summer is that time to start putting those patterns, those grooves into place. Because during the school year, especially May, it's too much to pile more new stuff on top of it, but taking that deep breath and say, okay, starting at June 1st, here are the things we're going to be learning. And, and I, I, we're gonna learn these things together. And I think that there are some kids who are gonna say, I want to take those cooking lessons. And so, you know, sending them to junior chef school could work for everybody. Right? My mom never had to bake anything from the time I was 13 on, because I love doing it. And that's part of what we want for our kids. That's why we send them to all these summer camps, help them discover their own passions. And so I know when we're, we're thinking about decluttering, how this all ties in together, is when there is too much clutter in the house, it raises anxiety for everybody. You know the UCLA study about raising, cortisone levels. I hope I'm saying that, right? Raising cortisone levels for women. I always forget if it's raising or lowering. But you're saying it's raising. Yeah. Yes. clutter raises cortisone levels for women, and sometimes to a dangerous amount. We know that clutter is Effect. And it doesn't do the same thing in men, which is really interesting. That's why women struggle more, I think, with clutter than men do. And so to be able to say, hey, we can do these fun things, things, but there needs to be a baseline because otherwise your brain is pinging on every. All those unfinished loops. And we want mom to enjoy her summer too. This is. Even if you don't get a break from work or a break from child care, it's a time for something different. And I want you to be able to enjoy that as well. But that means that we all have to pitch in. And you know, a three year old's not going to pitch in very much, but they can learn. You know, we're going to take the toys over to this basket. Those things can be taught and they can be learned.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, I'm thinking about what you said and yes, it's well documented when we look at stress levels and when we look at the labs of that, it's a cortisol level that we're looking at. And Kathi, this is why everything is so connected and why I'm so invested in this. For me, as a nurse practitioner, I look at that and think about something like cortisol. And when you have stress hormones that are this constant, constant underlying stress because your house is disorganized and you can't find what you need and you know you're having to redo laundry because your kids don't put it away and your kids aren't doing the chores like they're supposed to. It creates this chronic underlying stress. That's not like a big T trauma, big thing that's happened. It's just kind of that little T trauma, that chronic stress that is there. And when we look at that, what, what that does to our bodies. Kathi, we also know that elevated cortisol level levels make it harder to lose weight. It impact our blood vessels, it gives us more inflammation, it increases our blood pressure, it tanks our immune system. I mean, so when, you know, I'm thinking of the phrase like when mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy. Like that is why. And this is a deeply physical, emotional, spiritual experience. And sometimes it can be hard. I think dads can come in, you know, the day after they've been maybe at work, especially if you have a mom who's working at home. You and I were talking about this during the break, Kathi. I think there's a lot of stay at home moms who just feel, feel very undervalued. And if you really look at what they have, what they're doing and what they're contributing in the home, like, you couldn't afford to hire somebody to do all of those things for you. And then on top of that, even moms who work outside the home and also are doing all of those things in the home, and dad comes home, you know, and all of a sudden, it's just like, boom, this fireworks explosion. And he's like, what is going on? I think giving ourselves some grace and recognizing that. That, hey, this is. This is something that really impacts us. And one of the reasons, Kathi, that I have invested and I'm so grateful you have accepted the invitation to continue this conversation, because I really believe this issue is impacting families so much more than we realize and so much more than we. Than we admit. And sometimes just naming it and claiming it can be that first step forward. And you've presented Summer as this really beautiful slate of opportunity for us.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So first of all, I think I said cortisone instead of cortisol.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's the same, but it's the same thing. Same difference.

Kathi Lipp: Oh, is it really?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, it's cortisone, but when we do the lab at cortisol, so you may see either one.

Kathi Lipp: Okay. I feel better about it now that I didn't just mislead your entire audience. We're all good at the doctor.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Jessica is, you're all good. Nurse practitioner. Right here to help out.

Kathi Lipp: But I think often the women who are exploding. And of course, I'm not excusing, but I understand because I remember feeling all alone. And we, you know, we look at the story of Mary and Martha. You know, Jesus didn't say, don't do much. Jesus says, don't do too much. And so many of us are doing too much because nobody is stepping up to partner with us. And so we have to be able to have these honest conversations. If we don't want the explosion, we need to say, hey, either we need to take some things off our plate or add some other people to our team. These are the only options we have, because otherwise, it is that place of not feeling valued for your very important, very valuable work. It's huge. It's huge in so many marriages. I know.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It absolutely is. And when we think about the emotions of this, like I said, there's a lot of emotional clutter that comes with this cat, Kathi. We think about, you know, just this kind of avalanche of emotions. And for me, summer was always so precious because I feel like it was a little pause. Like, my kids didn't grow up during summertime because they weren't as much around their peers and they were free to be kids, and they weren't learning new skills or learning new things. It was just like a little pause. And I loved coming into that. And it's hard to come out of that, but there's a lot of just emotional triggers that can happen in that. And so staying calm through it and really sitting down and recognizing, okay, what are my triggers? What is it that makes me, you know, that makes me tick? I think, Kathi, if moms are thinking, well, what is that? Or even dads are thinking, like, what is that? That makes me crazy. You. Because, like, my husband's trigger is like, if he's been at work all day and he comes home during the summer and the kids have been cooking in the kitchen or made lunch or whatever, and they've just left the kitchen a total mess and left somebody that messed up for somebody later to clean up, like, he's not going to be happy when he walks in the door. And I think if you don't know what your triggers are, ask your kids. I'm sure that they will tell you, hey, what are the things that, that you do that make me crazy? Like, they'll be able to tell you that. But this is a great time, I think, to plan that. Is this some of the kinds of things that you talk about in your Facebook group, Kathi?

Kathi Lipp: Absolutely. We talk about all of these things and it's where we can have honest conversations. Because oftentimes you don't want to say something out loud to the Internet, but it's okay to say it in a closed, private group and we can have real discussions. So, yeah, we would, we would love to continue this conversation.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, I appreciate it.

Kathy and I talked about how to reduce clutter this summer

And we have talked before about just, the, the keep or give away. And you have given so many great ideas for how to curate, you know, instead of just collect, curate the art. Because another social media trend I see. And I'll tell you, Kathi, I think of you every time I see it. When, millennials will go and visit their parents houses and they take these little videos and they say, hey, checking in with my fellow millennials, how's your inheritance going? And then they just show like, like just cabinets and cabinets full of junk or what they perceive to be junk. And I think about you, I think like, oh, Kathi, lip could help you with that. Because we don't want to just collect stuff to give to our kids. We want to curate things they're invested in. We have talked about that. Well, Kathi, this has been such a great and encouraging conversation. As always, let me encourage my listeners. Summer does not have to be a free for all. It also doesn't have to be a perfectly scheduled production. And I encourage you to sit down now and maybe even use AI. Maybe have your kids help you use AI, supervise them using it. I always recommend co use and make sure you're supervising what your kids do. But maybe you can build some goals for life skills for your kids to learn that will help decrease the clutter in your home. Maybe you can build a summer rhythm, not a schedule, but something that works perfectly for your family. I hope you'll consider what Kathi and I talked about and have a backpack clean out day. Make it fun. Have good snacks and play good music and do something fun afterwards. And clean out those backpacks right at the end of, at ah, the end of the school year so that you are ready to go for the summer. But wherever you are in your clutter journey, I pray that the Lord will bless you you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and give you peace. And I was just thinking that it would be great, maybe grandparents could teach their grandkids a life skill and say, hey, I want to teach you to do this this summer. Try it out. Let me know how it goes. I'll see you right back here tomorrow.

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.